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Friends with benefits (FWB) refers to "friends" who have sex. Study 1 (N = 125) investigated the prevalence of these relationships and why individuals engaged in this relationship. Results indicated that 60% of the individuals surveyed have had this type of relationship, that a common concern was that sex might complicate friendships by bringing forth unreciprocated desires for romantic commitment, and ironically that these relationships were desirable because they incorporated trust and comfort while avoiding romantic commitment. Study 2 (N = 90) assessed the relational negotiation strategies used by participants in these relationships. The results indicated that people in FWB relationships most often avoided explicit relational negotiation. Thus, although common, FWB relationships are often problematic for the same reasons that they are attractive.
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Negotiating a Friends with Benefits Relationship
Melissa A. Bisson Æ Timothy R. Levine
Received: 8 May 2006 / Revised: 11 January 2007 / Accepted: 18 March 2007
Ó Springer Science+Business Media, LLC 2007
Abstract Friends with benefits (FWB) refers to ‘‘friends’
who have sex. Study 1 (N = 125) investigated the prevalence
of these relationships and why individuals engaged in this
relationship. Results indicated that 60% of the individuals
surveyed have had this type of relationship, that a common
concern was that sex might complicate friendships by
bringing forth unreciprocated desires for romantic commit-
ment, and ironically that these relationships were desirable
because they incorporated trust and comfort while avoiding
romantic commitment. Study 2 (N = 90) assessed the rela-
tional negotiation strategies used by participants in these
relationships. The results indicated that people in FWB
relationships most often avoided explicit relational negoti-
ation. Thus, although common, FWB relationships are often
problematic for the same reasons that they are attractive.
Keywords Friends with benefits Friendship
Romantic relationships
A clear distinction between friendships and romantic rela-
tionships has long been accepted in academic social science,
popular culture, and lay understandings of human relation-
ships. Recently, however, evidence of a new type of
relationship has been identified that neither fits the tradi-
tional definition of a friendship nor a romantic relationship,
yet has characteristics of both. This relationship has become
known as ‘friends with benefits’ (FWB). FWB relation-
ships are commonplace among American college students
(Afifi & Faulkner, 2000; Mongeau, Ramirez, & Vorell,
2003) and have received much attention in popular media
(Hughes, Morrison, & Asada, 2005).
Existing research has concentrated on documenting the
existence and prevalence of FWB. The current study inves-
tigated why people engage in sexual activity with a friend,
how sex with a friend affects relationship dynamics, and
communication patterns in FWB relationships.
Preliminary Definitions
Definitions of a friendship have typically excluded romantic
love and sexual contact to differentiate friendships from
romantic relationships. For example, friends like one another
whereas lovers love one another (Brehm, Miller, Perlman, &
Campbell, 2002), friendships involve an ‘attraction of the
spirit and not the body’ (Werking, 1997, p. 30), and
friendship is a ‘non-sexual relationship of two people, based
upon shared experience and characterized by mutual per-
sonal regard, understanding, and loyalty’ (Armstrong, 1985,
p. 212). Each of these definitions specified that friends are not
sexually intimate. Further, friendship and romantic rela-
tionships also differ on exclusivity. Romantic relationships,
as opposed to friendships, involve a desire for exclusiveness
(Brehm et al., 2002).
Nevertheless, friendships and romantic relationships are
more similar than different (Sprecher & Regan, 2002). Both
types of relationships involve interdependence, trust, enjoy-
ment of the other’s company, engaging in shared activities,
M. A. Bisson
Department of Communication, Wayne State University,
Detroit, MI, USA
T. R. Levine (&)
Department of Communication, Michigan State University, East
Lansing, Michigan 48824-1212, USA
Arch Sex Behav
DOI 10.1007/s10508-007-9211-2
and mutual acceptance. Exclusivity, romantic love, and
sexual desire and activity distinguish the two types of rela-
tionships according to some scholars, but these criteria are
not universally accepted or universally applicable.
FWB combines the psychological intimacy of a friendship
with the sexual intimacy of a romantic relationship while
avoiding the ‘romantic label (Hughes et al., 2005;Mongeau
et al., 2003). Sexual activity with a friend distinguishes FWB
from both ‘hook-ups’ characterized by a single occurrence of
sex between people who are acquaintances or strangers
without the expectation of developing a relationship (Paul &
Hayes, 2002; Paul, McManus, & Hayes, 2000) and traditional
romantic relationships. Labeling FWB as a friendship is
consistent with the fact that these individuals are not roman-
tically committed and do not share a romantic love for one
another. But, consistent with romantic relationships, these
people engaged in repeated sexual activity, which has tradi-
tionally been linked to a romantic relationship but not
Research has found that a considerable percentage of
university students have engaged in sexual activity with a
friend, and prevalence rates have ranged from 49 to 62%
(Afifi & Faulkner, 2000; Mongeau et al., 2003; Reeder,
2000). The current study sought to replicate these findings
regarding the prevalence of FWB among college students.
Previous research has also found that sexual activity can
make friendships more complicated, difficult to manage,
and create increased pressure for involvement (Pogrebin,
1987; Sapadin, 1988). Nevertheless, to our knowledge, no
one has sought to determine why individuals choose to
engage in sex with a friend and the perceived advantages
and disadvantages of FWB. To address these omissions and
to extend the literature, the follow questions are investigated
RQ1: What are the reported advantages (if any) of a FWB
RQ2: Why do individuals engage in FWB relationships?
RQ3: What are the reported disadvantages (if any) of a
FWB relationship?
RQ4: Why do individuals choose not to engage in FWB
Study 1
A total of 125 undergraduates (65 women and 60 men) from
communication courses at a large mid-western university
participated in the study. The participants ranged in age
from 18 to 40 years (M = 20.26, SD = 2.56). All partici-
pants received extra credit or course credit, depending on the
instructor’s wishes, in exchange for their participation. The
research was IRB approved.
Procedure and Measures
Participants were informed that the research involved opin-
ions regarding FWB. Participants were provided with a
definition of FWB, asked if they thought people could have
sex while being just friends, and if they were currently in a
FWB relationship. FWB was defined as ‘when people who
are ‘just friends’ have sex.’ All participants responded to four
open-ended questions: (1) the major benefits (if any) of FWB;
(2) the disadvantages (if any); (3) why the participant believed
individuals engaged in FWB; and (4) why the participant
believed some individuals do not. Specific questions com-
pleted by those who reported engaging in a FWB relationship
followed. If participants had FWB, questions asked about the
frequency of the sexual activity, the type of sex that occurred
in this relationship (e.g., kissing, touching genitals, oral sex,
and sexual intercourse), relationship outcomes (e.g., remained
FWB, just friends, became romantically involved, and no
longer involved), and the sex of the partner. Multiple res-
ponses were allowed.
To derive response categories for the open-ended
responses, the first author read all responses and identified
characteristics that emerged and created categories for cod-
ing. The categories for the advantages of FWB included
avoiding commitment, having sex, trust and safety, staying
single and non-exclusivity, explicitly specifying no advan-
tages, becoming closer to the friend, resulting positive
emotions, and other. The categories for the reasons to engage
in FWB were the same as the advantages, but an additional
category labeled opportunity-convenience emerged and was
added. The categories generated to classify the disadvan-
tages of FWB included becoming serious, harming the
friendship, negative emotions generated, a lack of commit-
ment, negative consequences of sex (e.g., pregnancy, STD),
no disadvantages, and miscellaneous-other. The categories
for the reasons to avoid FWB were the same as the disad-
vantages except that a morality-religious category was
After categories were generated, the first author and a
second rater independently coded all responses. Intercoder
reliability was determined by the percentage of agreement
and Cohen’s kappa was calculated for each question cate-
gory since multiple responses were possible. The mean
percentage for raw agreement was 91% and the mean kappa
was .84. The kappa for each category is shown in Table 2.
All disagreements were resolved by discussion and post-
resolution data were reported.
Arch Sex Behav
A majority (60.0%) of participants reported having had a
FWB relationship at some point in their life (40 men, 35
women), and over one-third (36.0%) were currently engag-
ing in sex with ‘‘just a friend’’ (17 men, 10 women). No sex
differences in prevalence were observed; lifetime FWB,
(1) = 2.14, p = .14; current FWB, v
(1) = 3.10, p = .08.
Descriptive results related frequency of sex, type of sex,
partner sex, and relationship outcome are summarized in
Table 1.
In terms of attitudes towards FWB, over half (61.8%)
believed one can be ‘just friends’ after having sex. Of the
participants who had had a FWB relationship, 81.1% (34
men, 26 women) believed one can be just friends after having
sex and 14 participants (five men, nine women) believed one
cannot remain friends, v
(1) = 30.76, p < .01. In contrast,
only 32.7% of participants (eight men, eight women) who
had not had a FWB relationship believed one can remain
friends while 67.3% (12 men, 21 women) believed that one
cannot be just friends after having sex; sex difference,
(1) = 9.20, p < .01; FWB experience by belief difference,
(1) = 29.28, p < .01. Thus, men and those who had FWB
relationships were proportionally more likely to believe that
people can stay friends after sex.
Advantages, Disadvantages, and Reasons for FWB
The frequencies of commonly listed advantages and disad-
vantages are shown in Table 2. Many participants reported
multiples responses, so each coding category was treated as
a separate variable and counted as present or not present.
The overriding theme regarding the advantages of FWB
concerned having sex with a trusted other while avoiding
commitment. The most frequently reported disadvantage of
a FWB relationship was that one person might develop
feelings for the other and this might not be reciprocated.
Other frequent responses included the potential loss of the
friendship and the generation of negative emotions such as
jealousy or hurt feelings.
The reasons provided for why one might or might not have
FWB closely approximated those for the advantages and dis-
advantages. The reasons for having FWB centered on having
sex while avoiding commitment. One additional theme listed
by 30.2% of participants was that FWB were convenient and
that these relationships were ones of opportunity.
Similarly, the reasons why one would not have FWB
were highly similar in content and frequency to the disad-
vantages list in Table 2. Participants who did not engage in
FWB saw value in keeping friends and romance separate.
Also, 16.7% of participants listed religion or morality as a
reason to avoid FWB.
The current data replicated the results of Afifi and Faulkner
(2000) and Mongeau et al. (2003) showing that FWB rela-
tionships are common among college students. In the
current survey, 60% of participants had had at least one
FWB relationship in their life, and approximately one-third
had a current FWB. The sex in the FWB relationship most
often involved sexual intercourse and was not a single
occurrence. Almost all the FWB occurred within cross-sex
friendships, and when these relationships ended, they most
often either reverted to a traditional friendship or ended
completely. Few FWB (approximately 10%) evolved into
romantic relationships.
Attitudes about FWB were strongly associated with first-
hand experience. The overwhelming majority of partici-
pants who had had a FWB thought that people could have
sex and stay ‘‘just friends.’ By contrast, those who had not
experienced FWB were much more likely draw a distinction
and believe that friends do not have sex. The causal order
likely works both ways with a person’s beliefs impacting
behavior, and beliefs also reflecting personal experience.
The research questions addressed the advantages and
disadvantages of FWB and the reasons why people have
Table 1 Descriptive results for FWB participants in Study 1
Question Percent
Frequency of sex
Only once 18.7
Occasional 52.1
Ongoing/Frequent 29.3
Type of sex
Oral sex only 2.7
Genital touching only 1.3
Intercourse only 22.7
All but Intercourse 8.0
All types 56.0
Some other combination 9.3
Sex of FWB partner
Opposite 98.7
Same 1.3
Both 0.0
Relationship outcome
Stayed FWB 28.3
Stayed friends, stopped sex 35.8
Became romantic 9.8
Relationship ended 25.9
Arch Sex Behav
FWB and why they do not. There was substantial overlap in
responses to the questions regarding advantages and reason
for FWB. The primary advantages of a FWB involved having
sex with a known and trusted other without expectations for
commitment or exclusivity. That is, FWB were perceived as
providing a relatively safe and convenient environment for
recreational sex, and this was apparently why college stu-
dents had a FWB.
The chief disadvantages centered on the idea that sex
might complicate the friendship. This was reflected in con-
cerns that non-reciprocated romantic feelings might evolve,
that the friendship could be harmed, and that feelings might
get hurt. These disadvantages were seen as central reasons to
avoid FWB, but two other themes emerged as reasons for
eschewing FWB. Some participants reported that sex with
commitment was desirable, and thus avoided FWB out of a
preference for sex within a romantic relationship. Some
participants found the idea of FWB morally repulsive. These
individuals, however, reflected a minority opinion.
Relational Negotiation Strategies
Relational negotiation refers to direct verbal exchanges
aimed at reaching agreement about the expectations, rules
governing, and status of an interpersonal relationship, and
relationship negotiation strategies are the goal-direct, commu-
nicative means to those ends. The initial findings regarding
FWB relationships suggested that a common concern in FWB
relationships was that sex might complicate the friendships
and raised concerns about unreciprocated romantic attach-
ment. Thus, FWB relationships evoked questions about the
roles in the relationship, relationship status, relationship
expectations, and the communication in these relationships. A
common way to reduce relational uncertainty is to seek
information through talk with a partner, and the intimacy
associated with friendship should make direct verbal
exchange a likely option in reducing uncertainty (Knobloch &
Solomon, 2002). To our knowledge, no research exists on
what issues must be dealt with in FWB relationships con-
cerning the state of the relationship. Therefore, a first research
question for Study 2 was posed.
RQ5: What questions arose concerning the relationship as
a result of sexual activity in FWB?
Presuming that sex complicated relationships and created
uncertainty, it follows that communication may have been
required to negotiate new expectations and reduce uncer-
tainty. In Study 1, one reason individuals reported having a
FWB relationship was that the friend was trusted more than
a strangers. Research on trust and trustworthiness has sug-
gested that the perceived trustworthiness of another is
positively related to willingness to communicate with that
person (Christen, 2001). In contrast, Baxter and Wilmot
(1985) reported that talking about a relationship topped the
list of taboo topics for both platonic and intimate couples.
Further, avoiding talk about the relationship is especially
likely when partners differ in desired level of commitment.
This led to the second research question:
RQ6: What types of relational negotiation strategies were
used in FWB relationships?
Ward and Kahn (2003) found that men were more likely to
avoid discussing important issues in intimate relationship.
Thus, a final research question was posed:
RQ7: Were there sex differences in relational negotiation
strategies in FWB relationships?
Triangle Theory of Love
One limitation of most previous definitions of friendship and
romantic relationships is the tendency to use criteria that
define relationships as categorical rather than as varying in
degree. Taking into account both gradations in relational
constructs and people’s own understanding of the qualities
of their relationships might allow for a more flexible con-
ceptual approach conducive to understanding a non-
traditional relationship type like FWB. Sternberg’s (1986,
1987) triangle theory of love offers this type of flexibility.
Table 2 Frequently listed advantages and disadvantages of friends
with benefits
Frequency Categorical
Advantage category
No commitment 74 59.7 35.6 .87
Have sex 69 55.6 33.2 .95
Trust person 26 21.0 12.5 .93
Stay single 13 10.5 6.3 .80
None 11 8.9 5.3 1.0
Become closer 9 7.3 4.3 .88
Disadvantage category
Develop feelings 81 65.3 42.4 .85
Harm friendship 35 28.2 18.3 .92
Cause negative emotions 34 27.4 17.8 .86
Lack of commitment 16 12.9 8.4 .88
Negative consequences
of sex
12 9.7 6.3 .95
Note Categorical percent was calculated by the variable frequency
over total participants. Overall percent was calculated by the variable
frequency over total frequency (N = 124).
Arch Sex Behav
Sternberg (1986, 1987) proposed three building blocks
which determine different types of love and that are useful in
distinguishing some types of relationships from others:
intimacy, passion, and commitment. Intimacy includes
feelings of warmth, understanding, communication, support,
and sharing. Passion is characterized by physical arousal and
desire. Finally, commitment includes decisions to devote
oneself to a relationship and the desire to maintain the rela-
tionship. Intimacy, passion, and commitment are each one
side of a triangle that describes the love individuals can
share. Each side of the triangle can vary in intensity and can
be visually depicted by the length of each side of the triangle.
Sternberg did not categorically differentiate friendships
from romantic relationships, but rather, differentiated the
two by the intensity of the three characteristics. Romantic
relationships typically differ from friendships in that the
former involved higher levels of passion and commitment
than the latter.
FWB are a hybrid of friendships and romantic relation-
ships. Using the Triangle Theory of Love, a traditional
friendship is a relationship comprised of moderate to high
levels of intimacy and low levels of commitment and
passion. Alternatively, a romantic relationship is a rela-
tionship comprised of moderate to high intensity levels of
intimacy, commitment, and passion. FWB have levels of
passion consistent with romantic relationships, but lack the
romantic commitment typical of romantic relationships.
This reasoning was tested in Study 2.
Study 2
A total of 90 undergraduates (47 women and 43 men) from
communication courses at a large mid-western university
participated in the study. The participants ranged in age
from 18 to 31 (M = 21.28, SD = 1.90). All participants
received extra credit or course credit in exchange for their
Target participants were those who had engaged in a FWB
relationship on at least one occasion. Participants reported
between 1 and 15 FWB partners (M =2.53,SD =2.13).Men
(M =3.12, SD = 2.56) reported more FWB partners than
women (M =1.98,SD =1.45),t(87) = 2.60, p = .01. With
regard to their current FWB, the average length of time the
friends knew each other before having sex was slightly over
one year (M =14.23months, SD = 19.78) and the FWB
relationship had lasted an average of six months (M =6.04,
SD = 7.48), with the longest being four years.
Procedure and Measures
Participants were informed the research involved relational
negotiation in FWB relationships. FWB was defined with
the same definition used in Study 1. Once all surveys were
complete, participants were debriefed on the nature of the
Participants completed a self-report survey containing open
and closed-ended questions in which they indicated how they
negotiated issues in their FWB relationship. Demographic
information and the Triangle Love Scale (Sternberg, 1988)
constituted the closed-ended questions. The open-ended sec-
tion of the questionnaire sought to identify what relational
negotiation strategies individuals used in FWB relationships.
The Triangular Love Scale consisted of three dimensions
(intimacy, passion, and commitment) with 15 items for
each. Sample items included ‘‘I feel close to my friend,’ ‘‘I
especially like physical contact with my friend,’’ and ‘‘I am
committed to maintaining my relationship with me friend.’
Participants rated their agreement with the statements on a
9-point scale, where 1 was ‘not at all’ and 9 was ‘extremely
so.’’ This instrument has been found to be both reliable and
valid in previous research (e.g., Aron & Westbay, 1996;
Whitley, 1993).
A set of 2 trained coders independently scored all
responses using procedures similar to those reported in Study
1. The intercoder reliabilities were acceptable, with a mean
percentage of raw agreement equal to 90.9% and a mean
kappa of .91. All disagreements were resolved by discussion
and post-resolution data are reported.
The first research question sought to discover once sexual
activity was introduced into a previously platonic friendship
what questions arose concerning the relationship as a result
of this sexual activity. Approximately half (48.9%) of the
participants indicated that questions arose and the remain-
ing participants indicated that questions did not arise. Of the
participants that indicated that questions arose, the over-
riding theme involved uncertainty. Uncertainty about how
to label the relationship, how to maintain the relationship,
the future trajectory of the relationship, how they felt about
the relationship, and if they could stay friends were listed. The
frequencies of these responses are provided in Table 3.
The second research question asked about how these
issues were negotiated. When asked about how the talk was
initiated, the most prevalent response was that it was not
initiated. A few participants used humor to initiate the dis-
cussion and fewer still talked about the relationship at the
time of the first sexual activity. When asked about the content
of the talk, responses included relationship expectations,
Arch Sex Behav
how sex would affect the relationship, justifying the sex, and
verifying that the friend was agreeable to having sex. Each of
these responses, however, were relatively infrequent. Par-
ticipants were explicitly asked about ground rule negation
and the vast majority (77.3%) indicated that there was none.
Of those reporting rule negotiation, mutual agreement was
most common. The frequencies of these responses are also
listed in Table 3.
The final research question asked about sex differences in
negotiation strategies. No statistically significant differ-
ences were observed.
Triangle Love Scale
On the Sternberg (1988) scale, a score of 1 through 5 indi-
cates a low rating, 6 through 7 indicates a moderate rating,
and 8 through 9 indicates a high rating. On these standards,
the average intimacy score was moderate (M =6.44,SD =
1.66), the average passion score was low (M =4.70,
SD = 1.49), and the average commitment score was low
(M =4.73,SD = 1.66). The means on the three dimensions
were compared with paired t-tests. Intimacy was significantly
higher than passion t(89) = 11.42, p < .01 and commitment
t(89) = 13.27, p < .01, but passion and commitment were
not significantly different from one another t(89) = –0.19.
These findings were compared to the results of Acher and
Davis (1992) who had a sample (N = 204) of individuals in
established romantic relationships (65% married, mean rela-
tionship duration, 9.5 years) complete the Sternberg (1988)
scales. Scores on each of the three scales were higher in the
romantic data; intimacy, M =7.23,SD =1.50,t(292) = 4.01,
= .05; passion, M =6.10, SD =1.77, t(292) = 6.53, g
=.13; commitment, M =6.80,SD =1.89,t(292) = 8.94, g
= .22. As expected, examination of the effect sizes indicated
that differences were most pronounced for commitment fol-
lowed by passion, and the smallest differences were observed
on intimacy.
About half of the participants indicated that questions arose
in their FWB relationship, and these questions involved
uncertainty about what to call the relationship, the future of
the relationship, and how to negotiate changes in feelings.
Despite these uncertainties, however, participants reported
little talk about the state of the relationship. Almost 85%
indicated that no relationship talk was initiated and 73%
indicated no discussion of relationship ground rules. Of the
relatively few participants who explicitly established ground
rules, the most prevalent theme involved third party concerns
related to disclosing the relationship to others and estab-
lishing that they, unlike exclusively dating couples, were
allowed to see other people. Specific strategies involved
seeking compromise and arguing for one’s own desired
outcome. No significant sex differences in communication
patterns were found, possibly due to the low frequency talk
about the state and future of the relationship. While previous
research has also reported that taboo topics are prevalent in
relationships, the current findings suggest that this is espe-
cially true for FWB relationships.
Participants rated their FWB on Sternberg’s (1988)
Triangle Love Scale. On the average, FWB participants indi-
cated moderate intimacy, and low passion and commitment
with there friend. According to Sternberg, this indicates the
majority of FWB participants experienced the liking type of
love for their friend, suggesting that the individuals really were
‘just friends’’ at the time of sexual activity. When scores were
compared to previous findings with romantic couples, scores
on all three dimensions were lower, with the largest differ-
ences observed in commitment followed by passion.
General Discussion
This article reported the results of two studies of FWB rela-
tionships among midwestern college students. Study 1 rep-
licated previous findings and found thatFWB relationships are
Table 3 Frequently listed responses in Study 2
Frequency Overall % k
Relationship questions
Title 15 25.9 1.0
Maintenance 13 22.4 .89
Future 12 20.7 .82
Feelings 6 10.3 1.0
Friendship 5 8.6 .75
Discussion initiation
None 76 84.4 1.0
Joking 8 8.9 .93
First sexual activity 3 3.3 .85
Discussion topics
Expectations 11 30.6 .95
Effects on relationship 7 19.4 .82
Justifying sexual activity 6 16.7 .82
Approval 5 13.9 .90
Ground rule negotiation
None 66 73.3 1.0
Mutually agreed 10 11.1 .88
I set the rules, other agreed 4 4.4 .88
Talked 4 4.4 1.0
Arch Sex Behav
currently common among college students in the U.S. These
findings raise interesting questions regarding trends in prev-
alence over time. Since these relationships have not been
studied until recently, it is unclear how long these relationships
have been in existence. Speculatively, having sex with friends,
although perhaps less prevalent in the past, has probably long
existed, but the FWB label is likely a recent phenomenon.
Study 1 also investigated the self-reported advantages
and disadvantages of FWB. Those who never had a FWB
typically believed that friendship and sex are incompatible
and some found the idea morally unacceptable. These
beliefs contrasted sharply with the approximately 60% of
participants who have had first hand experience with FWB.
From the perspective of those with a FWB, sex with friends
can and does happen. The primary advantage seemed to be
recreational, non-exclusive sex with a known and trusted
other. The primary disadvantages were concerns that sex
will harm the friendship or create unreciprocated desires for
romantic exclusivity. Thus, the findings revealed an irony
that the primary reasons for FWB were also a primary
Given that the chief concern of those with FWB involved
increased relational uncertainty, and that the people involved
were friends, one might expect communication aimed at
reducing relational ambiguity. This, however, was not the
case and the findings of Study 2 suggest that little relational
negotiation occurred in these relationships. This lack of
communication likely exacerbates the potential problems
with FWB reported in Study 1. The lack of talk about the
relationship, however, was consistent with Baxter and Wil-
mot (1985) who reported that talking about a relationship
tops the list of taboo topics for both platonic and intimate
couples. In this regard, all three relationship types appear
Parks (1982) challenged what he called the ‘‘ideology of
intimacy,’’ which referred to the view that self-disclosure is
necessarily healthy and that psychological intimacy is
always the primary goal in interpersonal communication
and relationships. Parks argued that examples of effective
interpersonal communication relationships that were not
based on intimacy and disclosure but instead on social
necessity or efficiency were both plentiful and functional.
Perhaps FWB relationships exemplify this sort of situation.
Nevertheless, participants’ responses to Sternberg’s
(1988) love scale showed that FWB scored higher in inti-
macy than either commitment or passion. These scores were
similar to previous findings based on friendships, and the
scores were lower than those obtained from committed
romantic relationships. The love scale findings were con-
sistent with the label of friends for FWB, and also showed
the general utility of the Sternberg theory in applying to a
range of relationship types. The love scale findings were
also consistent with the current conceptualization of FWB as
a hybrid relationship type, qualitatively different from tra-
ditional friendship and quantitatively different for romantic
A primary limitation in these data was the reliance on self-
report data. This method raises concerns about recall and
social desirability biases. Further, because only one partner
of the dyad was responding, critical concerns, issues, ques-
tions, and rules may not have been reported and between-
partner agreement could not be assessed. Nevertheless, the
high levels of prevalence observed in the current data sug-
gested that substantial underreporting may have been
College students were used as participants, thus exclud-
ing younger and older populations. The next step is to use a
non-college sample to clearly determine if relational nego-
tiation occurs in these relationships or not, and if FWB is a
phenomenon that extends beyond college years. Research
with high school students would be useful to determine if
FWB start in college or earlier in the life course.
Since FWB relationships have been understudied in
social science research, it is hoped that the results of the
studies reported here will serve as a foundation for further
exploration. The prevalence of FWB, the challenges that
FWB pose to previous understandings of relationship types,
and challenges faced by those who have FWB provide
reasons for the further study of FWB.
Acknowledgments This article is based, in part, on a portion of the
first author’s M.A. thesis, completed under the direction of the second
author. The authors appreciate the assistance of the Editor.
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... Berdasarkan penelitian yang pernah dilakukan oleh (Bisson & Levine, 2009;Fauzi, 2021), menyatakan bahwa terdapat manfaat dalam hubungan FWB. Sisi positif yang diperoleh dalam hubungan FWB di antaranya: 1) adanya perasaan bahagia yang dimiliki pelaku karena diinginkan oleh orang lain; 2) adanya peningkatan rasa percaya diri karena pelaku melakukan hubungan seksual dengan temannya; 3) hubungan FWB dianggap sebagai suatu hubungan yang efektif dalam hal memiliki kedekatan dan persahabatan dengan orang lain. ...
... Dari pernyataan tersebut, diketahui bahwa kebutuhan seksual mereka dapat terpenuhi tanpa adanya ikatan secara resmi dan hubungan pertemanan mereka hanya sekedar untuk memuaskan hasrat seksualitas . Walaupun demikian, FWB akan mempersulit adanya hubungan persahabatan antara laki-laki dan perempuan (Bisson & Levine, 2009). Hal ini berkaitan dengan FWB yang menunjukkan aspek negatif ketika dilakukan. ...
... Berdasarkan penelitian sebelumnya mengenai FWB terdapat kesamaan karakteristik yang terbagi dalam tiga kategori (Hughes, Morrison, & Asada, 2005;Bisson & Levine, 2009;Owen & Fincham, 2011). Pertama, keintiman seksual; kedua, persahabatan tetap berjalan; ketiga, adanya keinginan atau kesepakatan di antara kedua individu untuk menghindari adanya komitmen secara resmi, seperti berpacaran atau menuju tahap pernikahan. ...
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Friends with Benefit (FWB) is an interpersonal relationship that only promotes mutually beneficial activities for actors. The FWB phenomenon is often carried out by students in Malang City. According to the BKKBN, 80% of people in Malang are married due to pregnancies outside of marriage (KTD). Therefore, researchers are interested in studying the phenomenon of the FWB relationship among students in Malang City. This study aims to determine the construction of meaning and the process of interpreting the FWB relationship among students in Malang City. This study uses a phenomenological approach with the theoretical framework of Peter L. Berger which focuses on the process of individual social construction of reality. There are six informants in this study. Data analysis is used through several stages, namely, data collection, data reduction, data presentation, and verification and drawing conclusions. From the results of this study, it was found that the meaning of the FWB relationship was not only limited to sexual activity, but there were other meanings. Other meanings, such as a friend to talk to entertain themselves, a friend for a walk or even just doing lecture assignments. The other findings that were found were worries and fears when undergoing FWB relationships. The concerns and fears referred to in terms of the FWB relationship being lived are known by partners and even other people and the fear of contracting HIV/AIDS.
... Jak pokazują wyniki badań, relacje "seksualnych przyjaciół" niekiedy przekształcają się w długotrwały związek (Kan, Cares, 2006;Fisher, 2017), jednak taki scenariusz należy do rzadkości. Większość analiz dowodzi, że tego typu relacja z założenia nie jest zorientowana na przyszłość (Hughes, Morrison, Asada, 2005;Bisson, Levine, 2009). Kanadyjscy studenci uważają, że friendship with benefits, ze względu na umiarkowany poziom intymności oraz niski poziom namiętności i zaangażowania, jest podobna do innych romantycznych związków (Weaver, MacKeigan, MacDonald, 2011). ...
... Kanadyjscy studenci uważają, że friendship with benefits, ze względu na umiarkowany poziom intymności oraz niski poziom namiętności i zaangażowania, jest podobna do innych romantycznych związków (Weaver, MacKeigan, MacDonald, 2011). Zwolennicy tego typu relacji twierdzą, że zapewnia ona towarzystwo i zabawę z pominięciem zmartwień i komplikacji (Bisson, Levine, 2009;Weaver, MacKeigan, MacDonald, 2011). Atutem jest możliwość zaspokojenia potrzeb seksualnych bez zobowiązań typowych dla tradycyjnego związku romantycznego oraz konieczności rezygnowania z wolności i niezależności związanej z byciem singlem. ...
... Dopuszczalna jest możliwość posiadania jednocześnie innych partnerów. Jednak, jak pokazują badania, w związkach typu fiens with benefits na ogół jedynym partnerem jest przyjaciel (VanderDrift, Kelly, Lehmiller, 2012;Mongeau, Knight, Williams, Eden i Shaw, 2013), który zapewnia poczucie ufności i bezpieczeństwa (Hughes, Morrison, Asada, 2005;Bisson, Levine, 2009;Karlsen, Traeen, 2013). ...
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W narracji biograficznej młodych dorosłych przedłużenie dojrzewania to świadome oddzielenie życia seksualnego od prokreacji i małżeństwa. Kultura „podrywu”, obrazująca wyraźną zmianę w kierunku akceptacji przez młodych dorosłych w zachodnich społeczeństwach przygodnego, nierelacyjnego seksu, wywołuje znaczne zainteresowanie w naukach społecznych. Prezentowany artykuł definiuje i opisuje społeczny konstrukt „przyjaźni z korzyścią/bonusem” definiowanej jako relacja, w której przyjaciele przeciwnej płci utrzymują ze sobą powtarzalne kontakty seksualne, wykluczają jednak romantyczne uczucie i zaangażowanie. Związki te postrzegane są jako krótkoterminowe strategie dobierania się w pary, niezwiązane z planem stworzenia stałego związku. Celem artykułu jest przedstawienie wyników badań jakościowych opartych na 42 na wpół ustrukturalizowanych wywiadach z kobietami i mężczyznami w wieku od 27 do 38 lat, zamieszkującymi z rodzicami w Warszawie. Analiza skupia się na zobrazowaniu stosunku młodych dorosłych do friendship with benefits jako jednej z form realizowanych przez nich samych relacji w intymnym związku, jak i oceny tego nowego wymiaru relacyjności w środowisku ich rówieśników.
... While non-romantic partners, i.e., partners that are in love, but are not dating, engage in sexual activity more frequently than friends, friends engage socially more frequently than acquaintances (Rodrigue et al., 2018). Bisson and Levine (2009), on the other hand, found that friends involved in casual sexual relationships perceive moderate intimacy, as well as low passion and commitment. However, their sample consisted of only 90 participants aged 18 to 40, while Rodrigue and colleagues (2018) sampled more than 400 emerging adults. ...
... This theory suggests that casual relationships differ in terms of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Previous studies have shown that casual sexual relationships are characterised by moderate (Bisson and Levine, 2009) to high (Rodrigue et al., 2018) levels of passion, low (Bisson and Levine, 2009) to moderate (Rodrigue et al., 2018) levels of intimacy, and low levels of commitment (Bisson and Levine, 2009). Our findings suggest that partners in casual sexual relationships such as one-night stands, booty calls, and fuck buddies experience high levels of passion and low levels of intimacy and commitment. ...
... This theory suggests that casual relationships differ in terms of intimacy, passion, and commitment. Previous studies have shown that casual sexual relationships are characterised by moderate (Bisson and Levine, 2009) to high (Rodrigue et al., 2018) levels of passion, low (Bisson and Levine, 2009) to moderate (Rodrigue et al., 2018) levels of intimacy, and low levels of commitment (Bisson and Levine, 2009). Our findings suggest that partners in casual sexual relationships such as one-night stands, booty calls, and fuck buddies experience high levels of passion and low levels of intimacy and commitment. ...
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Traditionally, a romantic relationship starts with two people going on dates and developing emotional and then physical closeness. However, social developments and social media have begun to change that. Therefore, the main aim of our qualitative study was to outline modern dating scripts and forms of casual sexual relationships among Croatian emerging adults, and to identify the needs they fulfill. We conducted four focus groups with young people aged 18 to 25, of whom some were unemployed, some employed and some were university students. The results suggest that emerging adults in Croatia equally choose the traditional dating script and modern casual relationships, such as open relationship, friendship with benefits, fuck buddy, booty call, and one-night stand. Long-term relationships are seen as a step before marriage or cohabitation, and some young people try to avoid them until their career and other life circumstances are stable enough. In that sense, casual relationships can be satisfying, at least temporarily. However, they can also be confusing because different people seem to define them in different ways and, accordingly, have different expectations. The present study broadens our understanding of romantic relationships in emerging adulthood, and as one of the first Croatian studies on this topic, makes an important contribution to the field of personal relationships. It can serve not only as a reference for future studies but also as a base for developing prevention programmes that strengthen romantic competence and develop communication skills for emerging adults.
... Odnos torej ni ne prijateljstvo ne romantično razmerje, temveč vključuje elemente obojega (npr. Bisson in Levine 2009). Uveljavil se je tudi izraz kolega za seks (angl. ...
... 2017;Fielder in Carey 2010b;Holman in Sillars 2012;Kalish in Kimel 2011;Paul, McManus in Hayes 2000). Poleg tega je 40-60  mladih odraslih poročalo, da so imeli vsaj enega prijatelja z ugodnostmi (Bisson in Levine 2009;Owen in Fincham 2011a). Odstotek mladih odraslih, ki so se v posamezni raziskavi odločili za priložnostni spolni odnos, je bil med drugim povezan z operacionalizacijo priložnostnih spolnih odnosov in odločitvijo za uporabo izraza hookup ali casual sex. ...
... na fotografijah, kot posamezniki z drugimi stili navezanosti. To je lahko še posebej izrazito pri mladih posameznikih, ki opazujejo partnerje v interakciji s prijatelji nasprotnega spola, glede na to, da lahko tovrstna prijateljstva študentov redno vključujejo spogledljiv in intimen stik (Bisson in Levine 2009;Egland, Spitzberg in Zormeier 1996v Miller idr. 2014. ...
... 2014). Naše rezultate, ki so bili pridobljeni na vzorcu mladih odraslih posameznikov, je mogoče povezati tudi z ugotovitvami avtorjev Bisson in Levine (2009v Miller idr. 2014 ter Egland, Spitzberg in Zormeier (1996v Miller idr. ...
Namen naše raziskave je bil preveriti, kako samospoštovanje, zadovoljstvo s partnerskim odnosom in anksiozna navezanost napovedujejo različne dimenzije ljubosumja ter ljubosumje na Facebooku. Prav tako smo želeli preučiti še interakcijo med anksiozno navezanostjo in trajanjem partnerskega odnosa pri napovedovanju različnih vidikov ljubosumja. V raziskavi je sodelovalo 139 udeležencev, ki so izpolnili vprašalnike samospoštovanja, zadovoljstva s partnerskim odnosom, navezanosti v bližnjih odnosih in ljubosumja. Rezultati kažejo, da le anksiozna navezanost statistično pomembno napoveduje vse vidike ljubosumja. Prav tako smo ugotovili, da je interakcija med anksiozno navezanostjo in trajanjem partnerskega odnosa statistično pomembna le v primeru napovedovanja vedenjskega ljubosumja in ljubosumja na Facebooku. Dobljeni rezultati so bili le delno v skladu z zastavljenimi hipotezami. Izpostavljene so tudi pomanjkljivosti raziskave ter možnosti za nadaljnje raziskovanje.
... The availability of mobile hook-up applications for smartphones, such as Tinder, have (to date) not led to increased casual sex practice in Europe. In the United States, the hook-up culture and 'friends with benefits' relationships seem to be much more widespread, especially at universities (Bisson and Levine 2009;Plagge and Matthiesen 2017). ...
... Engagement in CSREs has become socially normative among college students and young adults (Barriger & Vélez-Blasini, 2013). Anders et al. (2019) found that young people reported a number of benefits that motivated them to engage in casual sex, such as having fun, fulfilling sexual desires, and gaining social status, while avoiding the commitment associated with romantic relationships (Bisson & Levine, 2009). Earlier studies described and examined different patterns of CSREs, such as hook-ups, one-night stand encounters, or friends with benefits. ...
While casual sexual relationships (CSREs) have become common among emerging adults, it is unknown whether these affect future relationships. Guided by a developmental perspective, the current study questions whether engagement in CSREs might be associated with the quality of future relationships by serving as a model of instability. Data were collected from 110 Israeli emerging adults at ages 23, 25, and 28. Contrary to our expectations, the level of engagement in CSREs at age 23 was associated only with a lower capacity to resolve problems and a higher tendency to downplay disagreements at age 28. However, an increase in the level of engagement in CSREs over the 5 years was associated with future negative relationship outcomes, greater avoidant romantic attachment, a tendency to conceal from one’s partner, and a lower sense of certainty and capacity to manage disagreements. Conceptually, findings suggest that when engagement in casual sex is repeated and increases over time, it might become a more stable pattern of behavior and have an adverse effect on future competence in handling a romantic relationship.
... "Friends with benefits" are friends who have sex, allowing the incorporation of trust and comfort in the relationship while avoiding explicit romantic commitment (Bisson & Levine, 2009;Owen & Fincham, 2011b). ...
Chronic insecurities that emerge from adverse experiences in early intimate partner relationships in adolescence and emerging adulthood can have profound impacts on mental health and well‐being. Less clear is the extent to which these experiences for parents impact subsequent relationships within and across generations. We examine the extent to which secure, dismissing, pre‐occupied, and fearful intimate partner relationships in adolescence and emerging adulthood, well before becoming a parent, are associated with next‐generation patterns of attachment between mothers and infant offspring. Data were drawn from a nested study of infant–mother attachment ( n = 220) within the Australian Temperament Project Generation 3 Study ( N = 1167, est. 1983). Intimate partner relationships in adolescence and young adulthood were assessed by self‐report at 23–24 years of age. Over a decade later, infant–mother attachment security was assessed at 12 months post‐partum. Young adult intimate partner relationships defined by high levels of fearful, pre‐occupied, and dismissing attachment styles were reported in 11%, 17%, and 38% of young mothers, respectively. Increases in fear of intimacy in relationships were associated with an increase in the odds, by around 50%, of infant–mother insecure attachments (vs secure; OR = 1.56, 95% CI = 1.07, 2.28) and disorganised attachments (vs organised; OR = 1.49, 95% CI = 1.00, 2.22). A mother's self‐reported history of fear of intimacy within young adult relationships predicts later insecure and disorganised mother–infant attachments. Guidance and greater support for young people navigating their earliest intimate relationships may not only prevent adverse relational experiences at the time but also on becoming a parent. Findings have relevance for family and infant mental health therapies. Translating these findings into supported conversations may help prevent infant–mother attachment difficulties, or later repair them, through validation of the lingering effects of early fear of intimacy and empowerment of parents to prevent next‐generation infant experiences of distrust.
Why do people fall in love? Does passion fade with time? What makes for a happy, healthy relationship? This introduction to relationship science follows the lifecycle of a relationship – from attraction and initiation, to the hard work of relationship maintenance, to dissolution and ways to strengthen a relationship. Designed for advanced undergraduates studying psychology, communication or family studies, this textbook presents a fresh, diversity-infused approach to relationship science. It includes real-world examples and critical-thinking questions, callout boxes that challenge students to make connections, and researcher interviews that showcase the many career paths of relationship scientists. Article Spotlights reveal cutting-edge methods, while Diversity and Inclusion boxes celebrate the variety found in human love and connection. Throughout the book, students see the application of theory and come to recognize universal themes in relationships as well as the nuances of many findings. Instructors can access lecture slides, an instructor manual, and test banks.
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Research on cross-sex friendships has noted the presence of sexual tension in many of these relationships. Yet, to our knowledge, no studies have directly examined the frequency and effect of sexual contact on friendships. This investigation provides an initial look at the prevalence of sexual activity in otherwise `platonic' cross-sex friendships and applies a recently developed model of expectation violations to understand the related consequences of that behavior. Results suggest that approximately half the heterosexual college student population has engaged in sexual activity in an otherwise platonic cross-sex friendship and that the aversive uncertainty within valence model of expectation violations serves as a good framework from which to understand the associated relational outcomes. The findings' implications for research on cross-sex friendships are discussed.
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Predictions derived from Sternberg's (1986) Triangular Theory of Love were tested. Two-hundred- and-four adults completed questionnaires assessing several constructs, including each of the three components of the theory: intimacy, passion and commitment. Results indicated mixed support for the Triangular Theory. As expected, self-reported levels of commitment were higher for the respondents in more serious (i.e. married vs unmarried) relationships. The predicted decline over time in passion emerged only for females, and intimacy levels did not generally display the predicted decline for longer relationships. Commitment was the most powerful and consistent predictor of relationship satisfaction, especially for the longest relationships. Other results indicated a need for more psychometrically sound measures of these constructs, and the desirability of using adult, non-student samples for investigations of romantic love.
This essay extends previous work on uncertainty and information seeking within close relationships by considering how relationship parameters correspond with the directness of people's information-seeking strategies. Because we believe that assumptions of uncertainty reduction theory (Berger & Calabrese, 1975) have been translated into the context of close relationships without attention to the unique features of that domain, we begin by reframing questions about uncertainty to reflect issues relevant to intimate associations. In particular, we reconsider the focus of uncertainty, the function of uncertainty reduction, and the nature of information seeking. We then discuss how relationship intimacy, power dynamics, and information expectancies correspond with information-seeking behavior within close relationships. In doing so, we highlight how the negotiation of relational uncertainty may function to sustain intimate associations.
One of the most prominent features of the current college campus environment is the casual sex practice of the hookup. Hookups are defined as a sexual encounter between two people who are brief acquaintances or strangers, usually lasting only one night without the expectation of developing a relationship (Paul, McManus, & Hayes, 2000). Although there is a vast literature on college students' casual sexual attitudes and behavior, there is little attention to (a) subjective or experiential elements of and (b) the heterogeneity of casual sexual experiences. The goal of this study was to explore the varied phenomenology or experiential reality of college students' casual sexual hookup experiences. A structured questionnaire soliciting open responses regarding college students' views of a typical hookup and reports of their best and worst hookup experiences was administered to 187 college students. Responses were microanalytically content analyzed and globally thematically analyzed. College students' accounts of hookup experiences included behavioral, situational, cognitive, and emotional elements. As expected, although there was relative uniformity in college students' descriptions of a typical hookup, there was wide variation in college students' descriptions of their best and worst hookup experiences. Moreover, whereas there were few differences between males' and females' descriptions of what transpired, there were some sex differences in descriptions of what was felt after actual casual sexual experiences and in interpretations of why experiences were good or bad.
This study investigated attraction in heterosexual cross-sex friendships. Study I used in-depth interviews with 20 dyads (40 participants) to uncover four types of attraction that occur in cross-sex friendships - subjective physical/sexual attraction, objective physical/sexual attraction, romantic attraction, and friendship attraction. These types of attraction are subject to being symmetrical or asymmetrical, and may incur changes over time. Study 11 (N = 231) used a questionnaire to assess the frequency of each type of attraction and the frequency with which types of attraction are perceived to change. The most prevalent form of attraction was friendship attraction, and the least prevalent form was romantic attraction. The implications of these results for understanding both cross-sex friendships and the process of attraction are discussed.
This research investigated the factor structure, reliability and aspects of the construct validity of Sternberg's Triangular Love Scale (TLS). Confirmatory factor analysis showed that the items of the TLS loaded on their designated factors of intimacy, passion and commitment; however, the model fit was poor and the factors were highly correlated. Exploratory factor analysis revealed that numerous items loaded on more than one factor. The subscales had extremely high internal consistencies and adequate 2-month test-retest reliabilities. Scores on all three subscales were related to relationship exclusivity and survival over the 2-month period, but only commitment and passion were related to expectancy for relationship survival. Implications and limitations of the research are discussed.
This study is placed within a dialectic framework, illustrating the contradictory needs that exist for relationship openness and closedness. It explores one type of closedness in close relationships - the `taboo topic'. Ninety ethnographic interviews solicited informant accounts of topics which were `off limits' in the context of an opposite-sex relationship in which they were involved. Results indicated that there were six primary types of `taboo topics': the state of the relationship, extra-relationship activity, relationship norms, prior relationships with opposite-sex parties, conflict-inducing topics, and negatively-valenced self-disclosures. Of these topic categories, the state of the relationship was the most pervasive as a `taboo'. In an analysis of the reasons why topics were `taboo', it was apparent that the informants held a negative vision of relationship talk as destructive, inefficient, futile and risky. Extra-relationship activity, relationship norms, prior relationships, and conflict-inducing topics were avoided largely because of the negative relational metacommunication implicit in those topic categories. The findings are discussed in terms of metacommunication and uncertainty reduction.