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South India Journal of Social Sciences, June'24, Vol. 22 - No. 2 117
GENDER AND PARENTING: THE POSSIBILITIES IN GENDER-NEUTRAL
UPBRINGING
Chandel, M. Shanwal, VK.
Introduction
Traditional parenting frequently unintentionally reinforces gender stereotypes that
prevent kids from embracing their true selves since it is ingrained in cultural and societal
contexts (Jalovaara & Fasang, 2015). Gender-neutral parenting is an idea that challenges
this convention and aims to give kids a platform where they can develop their identities
without being constrained by gender norms (Rahilly, 2015).
Martinez (2022) and Oe & Yamaoka (2023) have looked into gender-neutral parenting
strategies and their effects on kids' development as an initial goal. The need to foster an
inclusive atmosphere that permits kids to explore their identities beyond traditional gender
norms is emphasised in Martinez's PhD dissertation, "Gender Neutral Parenting: Raising
a Generation Outside the Gender Binary." In their investigation of the toy-buying habits of
UK Millennials, Oe & Yamaoka (2023) show how a socio-cultural shift is transforming
views towards gender-neutral perceptions and having an effect on children's exposure to
non-stereotypical toys.
Children's perceptions of gender roles and identities are greatly influenced by gender
socialisation practises. The practices of parents of preschoolers are examined by Dhabhai,
Tiwari & Jain (2023), who also shed light on how parenting practices unintentionally promote
gender stereotypes. This emphasises how difficult it is to parent completely gender neutrally
because even well-intentioned parents might unintentionally uphold cultural conventions.
Conversely, Evertsson, Kirsch & Geerts (2021) focus on how same-sex parent families
disrupt conventional family sociology ideas by sharing labour and care obligations. They
also examine family dynamics and gender roles. This ambiguity in parenting responsibilities
calls into question the efficacy of gender-neutral parenting and raises the possibility that
non-binary parenting styles may be more prevalent in diverse family configurations.
Gender-neutral parenting is seen from a distinctive angle thanks to the experiences
of trans and/or non-binary parents. In Bower-Brown (2022), the issues these parents
Ph.D. Scholar, Department of Education and Training, Gautam Buddha University, Greater Noida (U.P.)
Associate Professor, Department of Education and Training, Gautam Buddha University, Greater Noida (U.P.)
South India Journal of Social Sciences, June'24, Vol. 22 - No. 2 118
encounter in the UK and the presumptions regarding parental responsibilities are examined.
Their experiences highlight the need for inclusive parenting strategies beyond traditional
gender standards. Additionally, media greatly influences children's conceptions of gender.
Taking a deep dive into how viewers perceive gendered characters, Hentges (2020)
emphasises how media, such as children's programming, can unintentionally promote
binary gender stereotypes. This emphasises how difficult it is to practise gender-neutral
parenting in a culture where the media significantly influences how kids learn to interact
with others.
Parental leave policies that take into account gender also help to promote gender-
neutral parenting. The advantages of such measures for gender equality and family well-
being are covered by Hart (2020). These laws subvert gender norms and promote a more
balanced upbringing for kids by allowing both parents to actively participate in child care.
Mothers are frequently emphasised in traditional gender roles as the primary carers.
Altenburger & Schoppe-Sullivan (2020), however, focus on the level of parenting that new
fathers demonstrate. Their study sheds light on the personal, social, and child-related
aspects that affect dads' engagement in childcare, potentially changing the conventional
roles of men and women in parenting.
In order to support children's identity development free from social limitations, this
study is aimed at exploring the idea of gender-neutral parenting and its ability to challenge
conventional gender norms. The main purpose of this study shall be to address the following
objectives in this regard:
FTo investigate the viability of gender-neutral parenting.
FTo analyse challenges in breaking ingrained gender stereotypes in parenting.
FTo examine the effects of gender-neutral parenting on children's development.
FTo explore societal implications, suggest greater awareness and education, and
advocate for gender-neutral discourse in education materials.
Methods
Sources for the systematic review were carefully chosen, resulting in the inclusion of
reliable and important information. There were several clear steps in the procedure. A timeline
from 2013 to 2023 was created to examine the development of the gender-neutral parenting
discourse thoroughly. Finding pertinent material required extensive keyword research. The
terminology that was used, such as "gender-neutral parenting," "child development," and
"gender stereotypes," covered the confluence of parental dynamics and gender in great
detail. Examining abstracts and content summaries as part of the selection process allowed
the removal of items that did not directly relate to gender-neutral parenting. The selected
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references were improved by full-text analysis, matching them with the study's main goals.
This systematic methodology guarantees the review's dependability and applicability,
providing a solid framework for thorough insights into gender-neutral parenting.
3. Literature Reveiw
3.1 Concept of Gender-Neutral Parenting
Gender-neutral parenting could be effectively described as the situation in which the
children are born and brought up without being taught about the difference between a male
and a female, thereby letting them know the difference between the genders on their own
time (Shutts et al., 2017). It could be defined as a situation in which the children play
together, dress, and effectively express themselves without fearing gender confinements.
The gender-diverse parenting lets children choose what they want regardless of gender
(The Indian Express, 2019). In the generic scenario, gender-neutral parenting is seen as
harmful by the parents of the children, who think it limits the growth of a boy or a girl. The
practice of gender neutrality also poses significance effectively. The parents who effectively
practice gender-neutral parenting let their children choose what they want, providing them
with the necessary freedom.
The gender-neutral guardians respect their children's viewpoints and desires and further
help them achieve their aims in life. It is against the parents who do not practice gender
neutrality as they act forcefully with their children and don't let them do things, ultimately
making them rebellious (Halperin-Kaddari & Freeman, 2016). Gender neutrality lets the
children do what they want and wear what they like without thinking about what others
think of it. However, such things offer drawbacks and limitations as well. Parents support
their children effectively in doing what they like and choose any profession they love,
irrespective of gender (Shi, 2018). There are no such barriers to a girl who can't be a doctor
or an engineer for the parents whose mentality is based on gender neutrality. There have
been situations where parents have rejected sex/gender-based assignments from birth
and have worked hard to protect the gender self-determination of their children effectively.
Doing such effectively ensures their children's ability to self-express and contributes to the
possibility that their children may even claim to have no fixed gender (Rahilly, 2022). Every
parent shall have a mindset about their children, which should let them be free.
Gender neutrality runs on the policy to ensure that the children determine their identities
and express themselves freely. The same also helps the children to be free from gender-
based discrimination and inequalities. There have been clashes identified between the
gender-neutral children and the normal children. There have been cases of ragging and
teasing in schools and colleges (Kumari & Singh, 2022). But gender-neutral parenting is
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also proven to be one of the easiest practices to opt for in those schools and colleges that
have a keen interest in the adaptation of the same. Some of the major examples that could
be taken to boost gender-neutral parenting are not focusing on the gender of a new child
during their birth. Rather, the parents should be more aware of the baby's health conditions.
A unisex nursery could be built for gender-neutral children. There shall be no specific
products like toys distinguished for males and females; instead, both genders shall play
together.
3.2 Factors that Influence Gender-Neutral Parenting
Gender-neutral parenting is a process that boosts the motives of the parents in
effectively raising their wards in a way that is against discrimination based on gender or
sex and instead stands for equality irrespective of gender. Gender-neutral parenting is
based on certain important factors as well. The categorization and division of activities, like
games, toys, or kinds, on the basis of the gender of the children pose challenges to the
motive of gender-neutral parenting (Moran & Koslowski, 2019). The children shall be given
the freedom to play what they want and what they like to do. For example, a game like
cricket or football is played by both males and females in the present generation, which
shows the aspect of gender equality among all. There have been situations where the girls
are restricted from wearing the clothes of their choice. The parents restrict them from
expressing their choice and likeness based on the clothes. Gender-neutral parenting is
based on the equality and provision of freedom for all, irrespective of gender.
There have been cases where the boys are taught to be strong and emotionless.
Such situations may make them rude and arrogant. The use of gender-neutral parenting
helps the male child to be emotionally strong as well (Alligood, 2020). Like the female
children, they would also have a say in expressing their emotions freely. Doing such makes
them strong in building healthy emotional intelligence as well. The children shall foster and
watch their favourite movies or television programs. The TV show, for example, Barbie, is
known to be a program that the female witnesses, but the males who are excited about
watching the same shall be allowed to watch and shall not be seen as shameful. A similar
thing goes for the female, who may watch the male-based TV shows or programs if they
want too without being ashamed of it.
The guardians are the main motivators of their children. In the cases of Gender-
neutral families, the parents don't force their children to work on or build their future on their
terms. Instead, the parents support their children, irrespective of their gender, to opt for the
things they like (Brussoni et al., 2020). For example, a male child may have an interest in
cooking and opt for being a chef in the future. The parents of the gender-neutral children are
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foreseen to effectively engage in conversations in groups. The group consists of girls and
boys, and the type of conversation is open in such situations. It helps them grow as a
person, learning about their identities effectively. In such scenarios, the boys and the girls
learn to respect their gender differences, which is a must in the current generation (Mesman
& Groeneveld, 2018). These are some of the main factors that effectively influence gender-
neutral parenting practices.
3.3 Pros and Cons of Gender-Neutral Parenting
Gender-neutral parenting has become a popular strategy as parenting paradigms
change to reflect contemporary ideas. This approach focuses on establishing a setting
where children can pursue their interests without being constrained by conventional gender
standards (Choosing Therapy, 2023). But like any fresh trend, gender-neutral parenting
has positive and negative aspects.
Pros
FFreedom of Gender Expression: Adopting a gender-neutral parenting approach
encourages a climate in which kids can genuinely explore their preferences, fostering their
capacity for independent thought and self-discovery. This strategy fosters an atmosphere
that enables kids to express themselves in accordance with their true identities (Endendijk
& Portengen, 2022).
FFocus on Internal Qualities: Gender-neutral parenting empowers kids to develop
relationships based on sincere connections and shared ideals by changing the emphasis
from external attributes to internal qualities. More profound and lasting interactions are
fostered through their lives thanks to the emphasis on inner qualities (Bindu Raichura,
2021).
FIncreased Compassion: Children's capacity to empathize with others is improved
when they are encouraged to express themselves in ways that are true to their uniqueness.
Greater tolerance and compassion for people with different identities may result from this
increased knowledge of and acceptance of different expressions (Thomassin, Seddon &
Vaughn-Coaxum, 2019).
FRespect for Others Who Are Different: Children's distinct differences should be
respected, and adults should give them the freedom to express themselves uniquely. Children
who grow up in a respectful and accepting atmosphere are more inclined to treat others
with the same courtesy, regardless of their differences (Kunst, 2016).
FMore Diverse Interests: Gender-neutral Parenting encourages kids to engage in
various hobbies and pursuits. When exposed to a variety of experiences, youngsters are
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better equipped to diversify their interests and access a wider range of opportunities than
those limited to gender-specific activities (Saguy, Williams & Rees, 2020).
FGreater inclusion: Gender-neutral parenting promotes inclusion by cultivating a culture
that celebrates each person's individuality. Diversity-loving parenting increases kids' likelihood
of forming friendships that cross traditional gender lines and advance social peace (Shi,
2018).
Cons
FIncreased Bullying Risk: Children who do not conform to traditional gender
stereotypes may experience bullying or jeers from their peers. Additionally, cyberbullying
poses a risk. Parents who practice gender-neutral parenting should be on the lookout for
potential bullying warning signals and offer the necessary support (Disha Roy Choudhury,
2019).
FDifficulties Finding Gender-Neutral Terms: Finding Gender-Neutral Terminology
is difficult due to society's historical focus on gender as a defining factor; gender-neutral
terminology is difficult. To solve this problem, it could be necessary to depart from conventional
linguistic conventions (Alligood, 2020).
FExternal Barriers: It may be difficult to find clothes that match a child's favoured
hues or fashion trends while adhering to gender-neutral preferences. Similar to this, it
could take more time and effort to locate affinity groups that are truly gender-neutral.
FHarder Time Fitting In: Children who defy gender expectations through their looks
may grow to have a strong sense of self, but they may still have difficulties fitting in with
bigger peer groups. Such dynamics can call for more assistance and comprehension
(Rahilly, 2022).
4. Research Gap
A major research gap is revealed after thoroughly analyzing numerous elements and
concerns in the available literature. While previous academics have thoroughly examined
the complexities of gender-neutral parenting, their study frameworks have not effectively
covered certain important issues. The evaluated literature explores the advantages and
difficulties of gender-neutral parenting and its effects on kids' development and societal
repercussions. However, the nuanced experiences and viewpoints of the children raised
using this strategy have received little attention (Else et al., 2022). There is a lack of
thorough knowledge of their everyday interactions, difficulties, and emotional reactions. A
lack of long-term research that follows the development of gender-neutral kids as they grow
up and provides insights into their long-term well-being and ability to navigate a gender-
diverse world is another issue. The need for more research into the actual experiences of
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gender-neutral kids and the long-term effects of this parenting approach is what causes the
research gap.
5. Discussion
The idea of gender-neutral parenting offers a distinctive viewpoint on child upbringing
that opposes established standards and promotes a more accepting and inclusive approach.
Gender-neutral parenting includes a variety of behaviour, from refraining from assigning
children traditional gender roles to promoting a culture of unrestricted gender expression,
as was shown in the earlier sections (Bindu Raichura, 2021).
The benefits of gender-neutral parenting highlight its capacity to promote holistic
growth. Parents can foster autonomous thought and sincere self-expression in their children
by allowing them the opportunity to pursue their interests without being constrained by
gender norms. This encourages greater inclusivity, acceptance, and compassion. Deeper
connections and relationships that transcend surface prejudices are made possible by
emphasizing internal rather than exterior features more. Additionally, gender-neutral parenting
subverts prevalent gender norms and promotes a climate where kids can engage in a wider
range of pursuits. This is especially important in the modern world when the distinctions
between gender roles change quickly.
The strategy, meanwhile, is not without its share of difficulties. Concerning factors
include the potential for increased bullying and challenges in locating proper gender-neutral
terminology (Kunst, 2016). In order to overcome the external obstacles, such as finding
gender-neutral clothing or locating affinity groups that support this strategy, more time and
money may be needed. While gender-neutral parenting attempts to foster a supportive
environment, there is a chance that some kids will have trouble blending in with bigger peer
groups, especially if they stand out due to their choices or appearance. The idea of gender-
neutral parenting must contend with the reality of a society that frequently adheres to
traditional gender standards, even though it is anchored in the quest for equality.
The causes of gender-neutral parenting also affect the results. The choice to raise
children gender-neutral is motivated by the need to eliminate the constraints and biases
that gender conventions place on society. Parents want to equip their kids with the ability
to make decisions and a sense of autonomy, so they let them choose their hobbies,
styles, and play activities without forcing them to fit in with cultural norms. This method
strives to prepare children for a varied and inclusive society and aligns with current
understandings of identity.
Gender-neutral parenting may have a number of outcomes for children. Although it
encourages creativity and self-expression, it may also surface difficulties in social situations,
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specifically in environments in which traditional gender standards are dominant (Shi, 2018).
It is critical to carefully determine the effects on playtime, social interactions, and future
identity formation. This demonstrates how vital it is to balance encouraging individual choices
and educating children about the realities of the world they will have to navigate.
A pressing requirement is for thorough studies into the long-term impacts of gender-
neutral parenting on a child's psychological, social, and emotional health as this parenting
style gains recognition. Studies that follow gender-neutral children into adulthood and track
their resilience, self-confidence, and aptitude in various gender contexts may provide valuable
information (Rahilly, 2022). It is crucial to assess the method's effectiveness across cultures.
Additionally, given these kids' difficulties in traditional education, it is critical to look into
how educational institutions may create inclusive environments for them. For complex
insights into the real-world effects of this parenting paradigm, qualitative research that
captures the experiences of gender-neutral children is crucial.
In finite terms, gender-neutral parenting is a complex strategy that necessitates
thoroughly comprehending its advantages, disadvantages, and ramifications. It upends
social conventions, promotes uniqueness, and creates a more welcoming environment.
However, it also faces operational difficulties and potential societal issues. By embracing
gender-neutral parenting, people help the world move toward a place where kids can express
themselves genuinely and value others for who they are, free from the constraints of
conventional gender norms. This method provides evidence of how parenting techniques
are constantly changing and how they significantly influence future generations' growth.
6. Conclusion and Recommendations
The investigation into gender-neutral parenting has shown a vibrant and stimulating
environment. This review article has dug into the complex interplay between parenting
styles and gender, illuminating the difficulties and opportunities of creating an atmosphere
where kids may embrace their true selves regardless of conventional gender stereotypes.
It is clear from a thorough study of the literature from the previous two decades that gender-
neutral parenting has important ramifications for kids' overall development. The ingrained
gender standards and stereotypes in our society impact how parents raise their children,
frequently influencing their self-concept and aspirations from an early age. The goal of
gender-neutral parenting, however, presents a viable route to combat these effects and
provide kids with the freedom to develop their identities and skills without restraints.
A couple of recommendations come from the insights gained from this review. First
and foremost, educational programmes are crucial for educating parents about the benefits
of gender-neutral parenting and the significance of giving their kids a space free from gender
South India Journal of Social Sciences, June'24, Vol. 22 - No. 2 125
preconceptions. In order to encourage a more complete awareness of gender dynamics
from a young age, officials should also think about incorporating concepts of gender-neutral
parenting into curricula. Additionally, encouraging supportive communities and networks
can give parents access to tools, direction, and comfort while they travel through the
uncharted waters of gender-neutral parenting. Supporting ongoing research in this area is
important since it will reveal new trends, difficulties, and best practices that will enlighten
policymakers, educators, and parents alike.
7. Limitations of the study and future Research Direction :
Gender neutrality is one of the most influential aspects that parents inherit to raise
their children to be successful as human beings, irrespective of their gender differences.
The study has proved to be important in getting the know-how of whether gender-neutral
upbringing is possible and effective. Gender and parenting are two different aspects that,
when linked together, carry a lot of importance. Most families in today's generation do not
know what a gender-neutral condition is. The study holds importance in letting them know
how important gender neutrality is and what values it holds. The study holds limitations
based on assessing the best practices being effectively practiced in schools and colleges
after 2022, which positively boosts gender neutrality. The researcher also has come up
with limitations throughout the conduction of his study. Further research is recommended
for the same and the scope holds value in working to investigate the link between gender
and parenting more extensively effectively.
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