Content uploaded by Selina Palm
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Selina Palm on Jul 15, 2024
Content may be subject to copyright.
Author: Selina Palm
#WeCHANGETogether
The Human Sexuality
Workshop
What we learned from 2020-2022
Contents
1. Introduction ........................................................................................ 1
2. Key findings ........................................................................................ 3
2.1 Who participated in this assessment? .................................... 3
2.2 What did participants experience as their Most Significant
Change ...................................................................................... 7
2.3 What other changes, impact or insights did participants
share? ....................................................................................... 10
2.4 Were any relationships influenced by the workshop? ...... 14
2.5 What stood out as transformative in the workshops? ........ 17
2.6 Is the workshop viewed as worthwhile? ............................... 20
2.7 How can the workshop be improved? ................................ 23
2.8 Are more workshops needed, and if so, for who? ............. 24
3. Conclusion and way forwards ........................................................ 26
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 1
1. Introduction
The Human Sexuality Workshop is a two or three-day experiential group process
developed by Dr Selina Palm and Rev Laurie Gaum in 2020. It draws significantly on
their combined accredited training as Gender Reconciliation Facilitators through the
Gender Equity and Reconciliation International (GERI) Model which works primarily
with men and women around issues of gender. This new model is housed under the
South African NPO Genderworks and emerged from empirical research carried out
by Dr Palm in 2019, funded by The Other Foundation on what helped selected church
congregations in Cape Town become inclusive and affirming faith spaces. It noted
the need for shared spaces of safe encounter between queer and straight people.
Over the period of 2020-2022, it was piloted in seven workshops, funded by a number
of donors including The Other Foundation, and focused on situating these workshops
within safe local church spaces where possible. Over 135 diverse participants
participated in these workshops which bring together queer and straight participants
across a broad intersectional continuum to do multi-identity healing work.
Jan Oct Sept Nov March May May
2020 2020 2021 2021 2022 2022 2022
The workshop has a strong healing intention with a dual focus: on self-integration for
all participants around sexuality and spirituality, and on safe space encounter and
empathic connection with the ‘sexual or gendered other’. This multi-identity work
complements the single identity work carried out by a number of LGBTIQ organisations
and builds on anti-bias workshops run with church leaders to go deeper. It is intended
to complement and not compete with these models in the light of an identified gap.
Documentation of this workshop and some of its early findings have been publicised
in an academic peer reviewed journal article by Palm and Gaum in 2021 and through
a Mail and Guardian media piece in January 2022 as well as at global events around
the world. The workshops evolved over time with pre-and post-workshop
questionnaires completed by participants around their expectations and workshop
experiences informing this. At the heart of the model are trained facilitators and
currently the model is reliant on six facilitators who have participated over the pilot
period. Each workshop requires four facilitators. A longitudinal impact assessment
research process was undertaken by Dr Palm as part of a commitment to continuous
improvement and to justify continued roll out of the model in future. Impact cannot
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 2
be assessed immediately as true success takes time to integrate. Participant voices
shaped and led this report.
A qualitative design was employed to add an extra layer onto prior data collected in
workshop evaluation forms. This captures longer term, more sustained changes and
ripple out effects in the lives of participants. The design also used an outcomes
harvesting tool called Most Significant Change stories which allows participants to
choose what was most significant for them, rather than having to fit into a pre-existing
template. Alongside this tool was a Google Form questionnaire that participants were
invited to fill in. Informed consent was requested, and participants could remain
anonymous if they wanted to.
The main purpose of this process and report is learning for improvement and also
accountability to our participants. It forms part of a wider participatory monitoring
and evaluation process that can also be beneficial to funders such as The Other
Foundation as findings also showcase the impact of the work they are funding, All
studies have limitations. This form was open for any workshop participant to respond,
allowing for critical responses but is also self-selecting in terms of who replies. For this
report, all voices are anonymised for safety however 65% ware happy for some
personal identifiers to be used. All photos used in this report were done with the
consent of the participants.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 3
2. Key findings
This report is structured in eight sections: First is a summary of the demographic data
related to the respondents, then the seven questions that shaped the questionnaire
are used to structure the summarised findings. Respondents (henceforth
“participants”) were also invited to share a Most Significant Change (MSC) story. These
are shared both in section 2.2 and throughout this report with pop out colourful boxes.
2.1 Who participated in this assessment?
35 out of 140 possible participants replied to the email request in 2022 to fill out our
online questionnaire on the impact of the HS workshop (an excellent return of
approximately 25%). These included participants from each of the seven workshops
run over the pilot phase including the two workshops done for the South African
Council of Churches (SACC) giving a good cross section of participant experiences.
Q: When did you attend a Human Sexuality workshop?
Good representation was seen from the two
SACC workshops which were specifically
targeting Christian faith leaders and also
from a recent workshop in 2022 suggesting
that a follow up around six - twelve months
after the workshop may in fact be the best
time to reach out. However, the fact that
some participants responded from three
years ago suggests strongly that the
workshop remained a memorable event in
their lives after a significant period of time
which is encouraging for longer term impact.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 4
Q: Did you attend the third day of the workshop?
63% of respondents attended a three-day workshop, 20% attended a two-day
workshop and 17% were unable to attend the third follow-up day of their workshop.
The majority (83%) were able to attend the full programme offered. 86% were
workshop participants with the rest being participating facilitators or ‘companions’
who offer another angle on the workshop. In this report, all are called ‘participants’.
Q: Please tell us in your own words how you define your sexual orientation and gender
identity
Participants were invited to self-
describe their gender identity and
sexual orientation. This self-
directed way of measuring avoids
placing people into predetermined
fixed boxes as part of changing
thinking on this and supporting
administrative justice. A wide
diversity responded including those
who identify as female, male,
nonbinary and trans. Nearly half
identified as sexually or gender
queer in some way, and just over
half identified as straight and/or
cisgendered. This reflects the
workshop premise that bringing
together straight and queer
communities in safe spaces can
help facilitate change and healing
for and between groups.
Thinking Beyond Binaries
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 5
One participant noted: “I am gay. And after the workshop I identify as hella gay”,
another said “sexual orientation - Lesbian (I don't like the term but have no other
word). I identify as gender non-conforming”. Another said “I am heterosexual. The
workshop has opened my views to the new LQBTQIA terms”, and another said, “I am
a queer, transgender male”. Some participants pointed to significant shifts in their
own self-realisation around their gender identity or sexual orientation as being
catalysed by the workshop process – which is an important insight, suggesting that
the workshop enabled new understandings and processing of their own identity for
some participants with one stating: “I am a bisexual cisgender female. This has
changed since the workshop. Before the workshop I identified as mostly straight”.
One participant noted:
“I believe my sexual orientation has not changed; I continue to identify as a loving
heterosexual female. I am however more open to healing wounds of the past that
had me i) hate women (due to sexualised encounters as a little girl) and ii) chase men
in bed to never allow them to hurt me. I made myself more masculine in looks and
attire. I hated men even though I wanted to love and be loved by them authentically.
I feel that since the workshop I have become more embodied; relaxing into my
authentic feminine more and open to 'safe' men - who are genuine and have a sense
of soul. I am embracing 'women' as I embrace my own womanly being. It's nice. I am
liking discovering myself.”
Q: Please tick the age bracket you were in when you completed the workshop
The majority of participants were between the ages of
25-65. No one below the age of 25 responded and only
one who was above 65. But the workshops reached
people from 19- 80 and participants pointed to the value
of intergenerational engagement on this issue as a
significant intersectional strength.
Significant diversity around ethnicity and race was also seen across the participants,
which also reflects the wider workshop attendance and facilitator intentionality in
recruitment in this respect. Overall, fifteen participants identified as coloured or
mixed race, seven as black or African, and ten as white which reflects the
demographics within the Western Cape quite well. The majority of participants were
South African. The chart below of self-identification however shows that we are all
much more diverse than these historical categories.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 6
Q: Do you have a church or faith affiliation and/or role?
Participants were also invited to self-describe their faith affiliation and
this was very diverse with different Christian denominations
represented from both Catholic and Protestant spaces including
Anglican, Congregational, Metropolitan Community, Ethiopian
Episcopalian, Baptist, Moravian, Dutch Reformed and
Evangelical Lutheran as well as a Muslim contributor, six
participants who identified as having no faith or as having left
their religious tradition, and three who identified as spiritual not
religious. Good representation was also seen from the specific
churches who participated in the initial 2019 research study as
well as a range of other churches. Interestingly participants
were most likely to be from Anglican or Congregational spaces.
Thirteen of the 35 participants held some position of faith
leadership in their church or faith community. This suggests that
transforming their mindsets as existing faith leaders will potentially
have influence on wider faith structures too.
Q: Please share your racial or ethnic background (optional)
Recognising our Rainbow Spectrums
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 7
* MSC *
Overall, demographic data from the respondent sample demonstrates significant
diversity, in gender identity and sexual orientation but also across age,
denomination, race and roles. The good balance seen, here especially between
straight and queer voices reinforces the underlying theory of change of the
workshop itself – that safe spaces for embodied encounter and multi-identify work
are valuable for all parties.
2.2 What did participants experience as their Most Significant
Change?
Thirty-five replies were received around Most Significant Change (MSC) stories. This
suggests participants were themselves keen and able to identify the impact the
workshop had without direct prompting which is, in itself, a sign of longer-term impact.
Below are two examples and a summary of some overall MSC findings. Some other
MSC stories will be included throughout this report in ‘pop out’ colourful boxes:
“I think a big shift for me was the exercise of drawing on the white board the binaries
that religion has perpetuated, like good/bad, pure/impure, righteous/heathen,
straight/gay, right/wrong and seeing gender and sexuality all tangled up into that
helped my brain release that a bit and come to terms with a spectrum and non-binary
thinking and better let go of good/bad right/wrong anything. Most significantly
though was the group members and hearing people's stories. It helped to humanize
the (LGBTIQA+) vocabulary, realizing there are people behind all of these terms.
Difference seems to be more normal than similarity/conformity”.
Overall, the MSC responses highlighted participants’ increased awareness of and
empathy for sexual and gendered difference and fluidity as a result of the workshop,
“seeing how fluid we all are and how much trauma we have all encountered in the
area of sex and sexuality”. Stories emerged, especially from straight faith ministers, of
the value of “hearing first-hand the experiences of queer pastors who feared for their
lives” and other problems that were encountered in faith communities especially by
those with other lifestyles. The chance to have safe interactions with diverse others
was a workshop highlight for many and remained with them. It was particularly
important feedback that queer participants felt safe with straight people in the room
and vice versa, with queer participants saying “it was a place to come out and be
seen”, to experience intersectional diversity, “to walk in my own truth and define my
own experience and purpose” and for cis-straight participants, especially faith
ministers it was “an eye opener helping me understand and educate people at my
church to accept others as people of God and as one body”. Many of the
participants suggested that the workshop had exceeded their expectations:
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 8
* MSC *
* MSC *
* MSC *
“I had a vague expectation regarding what I would gain from this workshop. Nothing
could have prepared me for how much I learnt about my own sexuality and insights
gained about the journeys of others. This workshop had a positive effect on me. The
story telling approach plus the different activities given during the workshop, were well
graded and timed so that I could grow during the 3 days. I did not feel uncomfortable
or out of my depth. Factors that contributed to this were that the 4 facilitators
prepared us well for the activities and topics. They shared their own life experiences
so sincerely and first, which made it easier for us to follow - led by example. The last
activity on Day 2 in a group of 8, the mandala for anger, hurt, shame etc I found very
powerful. Everyone in the group was made to feel comfortable to share deeply lived
inner experiences yet felt held and supported. I felt an empathy for my life’s journey,
and for those who shared so honestly.”
Themes of acceptance and understanding that have outlasted the workshop period
were applied by participants not only to others but also to themselves, “to accept
and understand people as they are including myself” which is a core part of the
workshop intention for self-integration. This self-empathy also opened up space for an
increased awareness of the pain and suffering of others and the injustice of this in faith
spaces. It allowed a number of participants to explicitly recognise aspects of their
identity that they had maybe kept hidden from others or even from themselves, with
one participant noting that the workshop enabled “her recognition of my own
bisexuality” rather than hiding it away as a naughty or sinful streak. One respondent
who was a faith leader and emerging into a queer relationship noted that:
“(The workshop) was a very important place to 'come out' in my new relationship
experience and be seen, and to link sexuality with faith/spirituality. I loved that the
workshop was diverse racially and in terms of education, and that such a trusting
relational space was created.”
Other participants noted that they were able to tackle abusive aspects of their own
history in relation to sex and sexuality, while many also experienced increased
comfortability around discussing often taboo topics. One theme that explicitly
emerged was the value that the workshop had offered in catalysing healing from past
or repressed sexual shame and trauma with one respondent noting that “the
workshop enabled me to reflect on my own sexual identity. I have since been able
to explore my sexuality more freely with less shame. The workshop was an integral
stop on my path to deeper self-discovery”.
“It was such a relief to listen to the stories and experiences shared. It was eye and
heart opening to share vulnerability that gave clarity to the lived experiences of
people and how colourful that can be.... Especially seeing as so many stories are not
able to be seen and shared. I feel lit up by the possibility of reconciliation and truth
telling because there is so much diversity and potential that people have to bring into
the world that has been shut down... a big moment was that I was able to share my
story and my pain, being able to release the shame I had been carrying for my
previous partner and it was no longer mine to bear. That was huge for me. To be
witnessed and held in that. I love how the healing journey continues as each layer
peels away. There is so much work to be done.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 9
* MSC *
Finally, many participants were left with a sense of hope that another kind of world is
possible often tied to being able to recognise and let go of indoctrination into binaries
by religions and cultures and to re-imagine other systems where everyone is respected
and valued as well as themes of “coming home to my body” accessorising and
expressing in diverse gendered ways, as an experience that many participants noted:
“When I think about the influence of the workshop, I think mostly about an intangible
feeling of possibility… imagine a world in which there is healing across gender divides
- and that imagining/ envisioning this can help us be a part of creating it. I think the
workshop allowed me to experience this and in doing so made me believe that this
kind of world is possible. Even though it was just two days and there are many days
when I feel like it's impossible, having just this small but hugely profound experience
gives me something to draw from and keep imagining”.
A number of participants also realised the ongoing need to educate others in their
professional and personal circles such as “the need to educate nurses more about
LGBTIQ persons” and the educative aspects of the workshop were seen as vital
alongside its safe space for encounter where many different people were able to
recognise and challenge their own prejudices, celebrate intersectional diversity, its
embodiment and witness and receive acceptance within the shared safe space of
the workshop. One male faith leader noted that “I was sceptical to share my views at
first. As the Bible states that God made man and woman. Now there is a different
outlook on this. Yet our Father is a Father of love and understanding. I have gained
new terminology and my outlook has changed”. This suggests that the workshop is
playing a vital role in shifting the perceptions of those who have been excluding as
well as those who have been excluded, and queer participants requested that
straight persons be present and do the work. One female faith leader noted that:
“Before I was not really open to the new norm of LQBTQIA. But the workshop changed
my perspective. I spoke to my in-laws regarding the workshop. After, 2 of my nieces
felt comfortable to inform me that they are both lesbians. They felt safe to share that
information with me as I now have a different perspective. They confide in me more
often as to how they are treated in society.”
All MSC stories shared offer important insights and include themes of self-recognition,
healing through witness, reduced shame, improved relationships, a space for diverse
and unique voices to be heard as well as being an important self-care space.
* MSC *
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 10
* MSC *
2.3 What other changes, impact or insights did participants share?
Many other positive changes, insights and impact were noted by participants. First,
straight participants in particular (who were often the hardest group to recruit for
attendance), noted they had often felt in advance that this type of workshop was just
for LGBTIQ+ people and some worried, “am I stealing someone else’s spot”. However,
their participation enabled them to see the vital need for the presence of straight
people and their own witness and storytelling as important and valuable both for
themselves and for queer people – who often felt that they were expected to be the
only ones who ‘do the work’. Queer participants also reflected on their realisation in
the workshop that straight people have sexual and gender trauma too and all
participants noted the ability to identify commonalities between groups through the
methodologies used, noting that “we have so much more in common than we think”.
This led to empathy and creation of improved acceptance as well as explicit changes
in harmful mindsets due to the stories and embodied encounters. Participants also
noted that other stereotypes they had were also challenged in the workshop. For
example, about certain kinds of churches and which ones were progressive which
also highlighted the need for race work and intersectional realities. White participants
noted the importance of queer movement building in South African across racial
groups and what black queers can experience.
“We did the workshop at a church in Gugulethu, and it seemed to be a very
progressive church. I had come to think that my home church was the only
progressive church in existence. So, it was good for me to see a progressive black
church, because I had stereotyped black churches as conservative. It catalysed my
realizations about intersectionality… white queer communities have intersections of
privilege that distance them from queer and non-queer black people and the black
lived experience... it opened my eyes to what black queer people are experiencing
and that it would be good for white queers to align themselves with black queer-led
movements, organisations and causes to help ensure that 'no queer gets left behind’.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 11
This led to stronger commitments between different groups to work together in black
led movements and to take closer note of whose agendas and issues take priority. For
example, pronouns, while important, may be less of an issue in languages outside
English which may have more nonbinary options. This feedback, received early on in
the pilot, also informed a stronger shift towards an intersectional approach in future
workshops. Some participants also noted the surfacing of misogyny within the
workshop amongst queer participants and noted that work on one intersection does
not always translate into other issues and that patriarchy remains an ever-present risk:
“In one interaction with a participant on my workshop I remember being quite rattled
by their anti-women views. I think I had assumed I would not come across such at a
gender and sexuality workshop. I have since made more LGBTQI friends, and I realize
that misogyny is ever-present.”
Second, the surfacing of negative or traumatic past incidents around sex or gender
emerged for a number of participants that they had previously blocked out. They
were able to talk about them in healing ways in the workshop, and for some, to share
with others in their wider circle of support:
“During the workshop two experiences that had an impact on me in my late teens
suddenly surfaced again. Because they were unpleasant and happened 50 years
ago, I had blocked them out of my memory. Twice I was physically cornered by older
men. Thanks to my physical agility and a miraculous interruption, I survived unharmed,
but did carry an anxiety of being overpowered by men in my subconscious. In those
days one did not easily talk up. During the workshop, for the first time I was able to
share these events with my husband of 48 years. I received empathy and support from
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 12
* MSC *
him which opened the conversation to more issues I had previously felt were too
sensitive to share”.
Third, the importance of education. Some participants noted that this issue urgently
needs more education within communities. One noted “in our black communities we
take things for granted and need to understand them more” and pointed to the need
to shift away from an attitude of scepticism in learning new things, by faith leaders
feeling they “know what the Bible says about gender” and to open up to be offered
a different outlook on their own faith that reinforces God as love. This shows the
importance of engaging with spirituality in the workshop. Being offered a chance to
understand and have new terminology and language around LGBITQ realities
embodied had changed their outlook. A number of straight faith participants shared
insights around their own behaviour and the need to shift and to be more supportive
to the queer community “and not say bad things or allow name calling”, with “more
knowledge about spectrum and fluidity”, “more curiosity to learn”, the “importance
of confidentiality” and the need “to stand up for those who are oppressed”, as
practical ways to embody respect for difference that the workshop provided. Some
were inspired to relook at the sacred texts of their tradition differently as a result of
activities, with one saying “I am more knowledgeable, curious and observant about
the gender identity and sexual orientation spectrums and intersections between
these. It has given me a way to learn more about human sexuality”.
Fourth, participants highlighted the value of the supportive space which was created
both by facilitators but also cocreated by the peers in the room, which highlighted
the importance of the very intentional process of careful, time-intensive selection for
the workshop to ensure diversity, safety and intention. This supportive space enabled
self-belief and growth from the start with one respondent noting “I thought the way
we all walked around the room to find our first partners was very good and talking
one on one to complete strangers was easy to do”. A number of specific impacts
emerged from this space from participants, these included:
• appreciation for recognising the positive value of safety and honesty in sexual
relationships and celebration of this.
• the chance to explore one’s own struggles especially with the
sexuality/religion intersect which resonated for many.
• the opportunity to become more connected to one’s inner voice and body
• the role of friends as anchors in one’s life and who to hold onto or to let go of.
• the chance to gain a better understanding of one’s sexual history and
improved sex positivity without having to let go of their religious identity.
• the chance to tackle body shame and past trauma.
• the ability to look forwards to a future containing the hope of sexual intimacy.
COMING HOME TO ONESELF WITH NO SHAME: “The workshop brought me home to
myself as I stood in the queer section and in the mandala - it bonded and fused my
sexuality and spirituality and experiences born of my healing in that workshop. I am
'home' on so many dimensions... I have never been 'at home' like this…. I can literally
breathe again as Spirit intended to breathe me. I have my life back. For the first time
I have a real, profound and AUTHENTIC sense of me that fuels me daily FINALLY.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 13
Facilitators commented on their increased ease when facilitating, the wonderful
opportunities to witness growth in participants and in each other, the value of the rich
diversity of participants and the empathy which diversity, if held safely, can enable
and the important roles of joy and humour in the workshops. They questioned how
much it is possible to fit into one workshop, how much to script it, what resources are
most appropriate in African settings and the importance of having preparation time.
A number of the ‘companions’ (trainee facilitators) had also experienced single
identity work and they felt that this workshop’s mix of straight and queer people was
unexpectedly healing. Very few negative impacts were noted. This suggests that the
space was appropriately held in terms of psychological safety with appropriate
options given for further support. One or two participants noted that the workshop
opened up difficult things for them which could trigger defensive or critical reactions
immediately post-workshop and took time and support from facilitators to settle. They
then said later that they really wanted to recommend the workshop even if it was
initially triggering for them.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 14
2.4 Were any relationships influenced by the workshop?
Participants highlighted a number of examples of key relationships that they feel the
workshop has influenced or helped to shift, across three main interconnected areas;
1. relationship to self
2. relationship to romantic partners or family
3. relationship to their wider community including their faith community
1. Relationship to Self
Participants noted a range of longer term workshop impacts, including that it
“validated my pain and trauma and this helped me move forwards”, that it
“normalised my otherness” and gave me a ”deepened perception of human
spirituality” and that it “empowered me to embrace my own sexuality and that of
others.” One person noted that: “I became a lot more sex positive as a result of the
workshop, without feeling like I was sacrificing any part of my conservatively-raised
self in the process”. This self-embrace, self-respect, self-belief and self-affirmation
emerged strongly from multiple participants and that this increase ease enabled
them to “explore the hurting parts of myself safely”. At the same time, other
participants, especially straight participants noted an increased self-awareness of
GBV and violence against queer bodies, as well as patterns of internalised
homophobia that they might have inherited. The workshop also facilitated increased
self-care and expression of the body with one participant noting a “dramatic impact
on a personal level” and no longer feeling forsaken and alone. Opportunities to see
sex as sacred helped some become more at home in their bodies. Participants shared
a range of feeling around this including that “I am a lot more connected to myself,
and confident in my body and self-expression”, that “I am more open within deeper
connection with my partner, family, friends, and community” that “I understand
myself now better, and this allowed me to understand people and their choices in
life better, without having to be judgemental and prejudiced”….that it was
“strengthening my spirituality and acceptance of who I am. We are not the
forsaken other that society throw at us from their hetero-patriarchal standpoint”.
1.Self
2. Partner
&
Family
3. Church
&
Community
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 15
* MSC *
* MSC *
SELF RECOGNTION: “I found the activity of the grid on the floor (masculine-
feminine/straight-gay continuums) really powerful. For a while, I'd had a niggling sense
that I wasn't just a woman, but I'd never really allowed myself to go there because it
was really subtle, and I kept telling myself that I was making it up. When we were asked
to place ourselves on the grid, my body wouldn't let me stand where it said "woman";
it was very clear to me that I needed to be standing in the middle in terms of gender
(and sexuality - although this I already knew). It felt really right to be there, and yet I
also kept telling myself that I was only there because of my trauma and that once I'd
resolved this, I'd "feel like a woman again". I was struck by how natural and good it felt
for me to stand in the middle, despite the voice in my head telling me it wasn't actually
real… Doing that process in the workshop really opened up something important in
me and gave me permission to start to explore this part of myself, which I'm deeply,
deeply grateful for.”
2. Relationship to Romantic Partners
Some participants said the workshop helped to catalyse their own decision to explore
same sex relationships or acknowledge attractions, opening up a sense of future for
them. One participant noted that knowing that her church had participated in the
workshop helped her to be brave enough to move into a same sex relationship since
attending the workshop, feeling that she was within a supportive church community:
“I'm now in a same sex relationship, I don't know if I would have been brave enough
to do this without the workshop. Also that my church was part of it indicated to me
that my community, or individuals in it were supportive of me exploring my sexual and
gender identity.”
Other participants, both straight and queer, noted that the workshop helped them
open up more to their romantic partner about things they might have previously
kept hidden and to experience healing or mutual forgiveness as a result. Some
highlighted feelings of deeper connection to their partner as a result, with one
saying “Regarding the partnership with my husband it has had a positive effect”
and another respondent noting that “I learned more about intersectionality and
that helped me look at myself better. My partner at the time and I did the first
workshop together and this was fantastic because it helped us form different ways
to relate/talk to each other…We had different tools to use after the workshop”.
HEALING FROM THE PAST: “I have always been abused mentally and emotionally by
men. Through this workshop, I have been able to identify my struggles and be bold to
break the curse over my life by God's grace. It allowed me to be more expressive
towards my partner, to value her as an individual and respect her needs. I have
opened up more and learnt to be patient and listen before giving an immediate
reaction. Communication is at its best now. I am more tolerant towards her, my peers
as well as the people I work with. I have come to realize what and who is important,
that makes me smile and happy. I have learnt that no matter what I go through, it is
not more important than what my partner goes through. We are all human, making
errors and our stories are unique to us, We are the author to our stories. It is up to us as
how we want to narrate our experiences.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 16
Another respondent noted that the workshop had helped her think more about
what relationships she wanted moving forwards and felt “more open to embracing
my own complexity. My partner and I have split up since the workshop and I don't
necessarily think this was as a result of my experiences there, but at the same time
it has played a role in helping me live out some of my questions and try makes sense
of the kinds of relationships I want to be in going forward.”
3. Relationships to communities
Participants note that at community level they had also changed some of their own
behaviours. This was particularly true for straight participants and included things such
as “not looking down on others”, “speaking up more on social media to defend
LGBTIQ+ people” but also seeing “sex positivity as part of social justice work” and the
important role of pleasure also. For a number of participants, the intersectional and
intergenerational aspects of the workshop were valuable and continued to inform
how they now related to other groups in their communities.
However, a specific area of relationship change for
participants was within their faith communities and churches in
particular. A number of participants noted that they had been
invited to report back to their churches about the workshop
and that this helped with church understanding around LGBTIQ
issues, and they often felt strongly that churches need to be
part of the solution. However, those experiences were
also mixed suggesting that churches continue to need
intentional and intergenerational work around
transformation. Some continued to express
scepticism about the
willingness of institutional
churches to change but
feel that work can be done
with individuals within those
churches to invite them to
step up. One respondent said. “I had to give feedback
in our leadership meeting. A space was given for me to
share the information with the congregants. I felt at that
moment that the church needs to workshop this idea more as
the older people were not impressed with this information”.
Another respondent has been asked about the workshop by
many people in her church and had shared her experience
enthusiastically, noting fears from some others about
attending:
“The workshop definitely empowered me to embrace my
sexuality and those whose choices are different to mine, more
fully. I talk more freely and honestly when this subject is
mentioned and encourage others to embrace this topic not
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 17
* MSC *
* MSC *
avoid it…Members from my church and friends have asked me about the workshop.
Often the comment was that they feel too uncomfortable to attend. Hopefully my
enthusiasm will help them to think differently.”
Finally, some participants talked about how the workshop space has itself become
an ongoing community for them in ways that had been life enhancing.
SAFE SPACES OF COMMUNITY: “The most influential part of the workshop is the
community I've become friends with since. When I first attended the workshop two
years ago, I was looking for a place where I could express my faith without fear being
"too queer" for the church, and where I could express my queerness without being,
"too religious". I found that space at the workshop. I found other people who had
integrated their spirituality with their queerness – something the church I grew up in
taught me was "sinful". They were living wholesome, healthy, happy lives and that
gave me hope that I could live that way, too… Having a safe space to explore my
sexuality meant a lot. Also, to be held in this space and journey with others. I met other
people at the course with whom I remained friends and we could continue
conversations and ask questions. I found a space where my unique voice could be
heard, something that doesn't happen in society.”
2.5 What stood out as transformative in the workshops?
Participants were invited to share specific activities or moments in the workshop that
stood out for them as significant or transformative. They spoke to various themes.
“The idea of storytelling and group
healing was a new theme for me - I found
it really hard to speak during the
Mandala circle process on the second
day but I've since found it hugely healing
in terms of how it has lifted some of the
shame I felt at the particular story I shared
and how I'm able to hold what
happened in a different way. It has made
me feel a bit more courageous because
of the value I experienced from this.
Getting to explore fluidity with dress up
and playfulness was really profound for
me - I found it really validating to see us
all move around and explore this
together. Getting to reflect on
people/experiences/things that have helped and harmed my sexuality was really
impactful - especially thinking about the people who have helped and held space
for me - I was inspired to reach out to them post workshop to thank them for this and
was grateful to have had the space to be reminded of their support.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 18
Many different activities were mentioned but specific participants highlighted:
• The ‘Milling’ activity broke the ice and made it possible to talk to strangers.
• Techniques and tools that were offered for self-care.
• The activity of ‘Silent witnessing’ and the role of the body in responding was
seen as a catalyst for long lasting and profound changes for some as well as
the sense of no longer being alone.
• The value of storytelling and group healing activities with a specific emphasis
placed on the Mandala as a ‘very hard but super healing space that was non-
judgemental’ and was able to be safely held by strangers.
“The mandala, where a
group of eight participants,
mostly strangers to each
other, can share their
deepest, sensitive, often
hurtful life journey so honestly
with each other, while feeling
held, loved, and supported
(not judged) by their fellow
workshop attendees. I was
deeply touched by this
session.”
• The Spectrum or Grid activity including the chance to dress up and be
expressive and playful.
“The activity that stood out for me
strongest was when I placed myself
in the room in relation to my sexual
identity – gravitating to where it felt
natural and standing there and
dressing up. The floor was divided in
4 quarters. We had to move around
the floor and feel where it felt right
for us. This was transformative
because I could find comfort in
standing in my masculinity without
shame.”
• The creative movement exercises without words such as free form dance.
• The things that help and harm activity highlighted the role of others in my life.
• The pleasure and fantasy elements hold a vision of queer healed community.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 19
“I loved the emphasis on
pleasure and fun, fantasy
sessions. It was awkward
at first, but really
powerful. Maybe the
balance could be tilted
towards more pleasure
related things, as a way
to signal where we'd like
to be headed as a queer
community and not to
fuel the power of pain too
much. But the discussions
on pain were validating
and essential also...”
• Body mapping around connections to spirituality and sexuality overlapping.
• Creating our own spiritual practice/spaces to commune with the divine/God.
“The creative movement exercises
resonated deeply with me. I loved
the mandalas since it felt grounded
and earthy through the use of the
symbols, but it also connects and
opens up experiences. I learned to
enjoy the ‘props’ and 'walking the
room', using the space to embody.
I (also) liked the (spiritual) rituals
people come up with, it feels
creative and free.”
• The river of life activity
“The sexuality river of life gave me an
opportunity to see the whole journey.
To recognise the recurring themes. To
see who and what have played the
biggest roles. I needed to see that in
order to think of my sexuality as a
whole, beautiful, colourful journey with
so much good instead of thinking of it
as the breaking of rules and as not
meeting expectations.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 20
* MSC *
Many participants pointed out that the creation of a safe space that enabled
moments of honest truth sharing between people including the facilitators who led by
example and spoke from the heart. The combination of small group work and solo
activities was seen as excellent enabling participants to trust the process and
opened up which made it safe with an awareness that it’s not just LGBTIQ people
who have wounds and a range of ages being present too. One respondent noted
that “there is a lot of guilt explored in the sessions. Silencing covered by guilt is a
concern, but the stories of pain (shared) are respected and treasured for the
journey of transformation”, and faith leaders especially found it transformative
when queer people “reflected on what had happened to them through the
community with people that do not understand the LGBTIQ+ and how they were
suppressed in their early ages.”
WITNESSING AS HEALING: “This workshop was the first time I did the silent witnessing
process. I was surprised that some of the more obviously heavy statements were ok
for me to stand for when relevant (although not easy), while the hardest statement
for me to stand for was the one about having harmed yourself/your body to impress
other people. My first thought with this was that it was about cutting yourself and so
assumed it wasn't relevant for me because I've never done this. I was therefore
completely shocked when my body almost threw me into the air, saying to me that
this was very much true for me. I remember feeling quite overwhelmed by this and
then dissociated, and it took me a long time to come back to myself and to the
present moment. It was very very hard for me because it made me realised how much
harm I'd been doing to myself my whole life without realising it. Since then, I've come
to realise how much I've harmed myself through dieting, exercising, being really really
hard on myself, pushing myself beyond my capacity, to name a few things. And all to
please other people because I thought it was what was expected of me. I have come
to realise that one of the biggest ways I've been harming myself and my body (around
my gender and sexuality and many other things) is by being my own worst abuser,
which has been both really important and really difficult for me to come to terms with.
This process in the human sexuality workshop set off a long, deep process for me which
has created (and continues to create) long-lasting, profound change in my life.”
2.6 Is the workshop viewed as worthwhile?
Participants overwhelmingly said they definitely found the workshop worthwhile. They
pointed to it as a space of exchange with others and creating a very special, intimate
bond with strangers through lots of opportunities to talk in different types of group
interactions. One respondent noted: “I think this is how we can build more empathy
and live it in our societies and fight hatred toward what and who we know nothing
about”. Another noted that “I see how people who look at the LGBTIQ community as
a sin stigmatise them and I now have more clarity and answers. I felt more connected
to myself and others as a result”.
One said that the workshop methodology had left a lasting impression on her:
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 21
“I still remember the faces that were there, people and their stories left a lasting
impact on me. It changed my life, helped me engage with my own gender and
sexual discoveries. This helps me as a teacher, to have more empathy and
understanding for queer kids.”
The workshop was also seen as strongly worthwhile by those focused on how to
engage the community as a church and as also creating fruitful opportunities to
network and build relationships. These relationships required some faith leader
participants to make “a paradigm shift in my behaviours and terminologies” and
the developing of new friends, new relationships was seen as worthwhile also,
however the workshop was also difficult for some with participants noting that was
a learning exercise beyond information, saying that “I learned from others but also
shared my own experiences”; “ I learnt a lot about myself; “I was given permission
to go into parts of myself I had been deeply avoiding or in denial about”; “I was
able to examine my journey and show up fully” and with facilitators noting that it
felt like a privilege to offer these spaces. Participants felt that it made visible and
vocal the pain, violence and abuse that still exists today and emphasised the need
for more of this work in our communities.
Participants noted the critical value of safe spaces for voices to share with each
other and to be witnessed in doing so, as opening up their own awareness of their
complicity in the oppression of self and others through accepted social constructs:
“I can see how I have participated unwillingly in the oppression of societal
‘constructs of violence’. This workshop addresses
violences that I have not consented to... Yet I
am a part of it simply because I have not
been given the platform to question its filter
lens and how that has influenced my own
life. I experience freedom in being able to
explore my own story and listen to the
experience of others; I am connected
more deeply with myself and have a
clear lens to identify with my own
lived experience - rather than
being told how I am meant to
be loved.”
Participants said things like: “I
was equipped with so much
understanding and
knowledge and could
learn from other
participants about their
fears and not being
accepted in the
community”; “it's
extremely meaningful
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 22
and feels significant to be able to create such safe spaces for people processing
such big experiences and themes within their own lives”; “I left the workshop with
amazing memories and genuine connections and many participants have
continued to share with me how important the workshop was and what a trusted
and valuable space that they want to have others experience too”; “WITHOUT a
doubt! BEYOND worthwhile! Indescribable. I learned things that have had a lasting
impact on my life and how I move in the world. I also gained beautiful friends,
colleagues and a greater sharing in community…”
Their words strongly emphasized the long-lasting impact they had felt. Others said:
“This was healing for my soul. Something I was longing for. Discoveries of yourself that
you didn't know you had before. Interacting with other people, and listening to their
stories/trauma, opens more for you”; “Absolutely. To be able to dive in deep and ask
questions about your own sexuality and identification in a safe space that is held well
is worth it”; “This is a workshop to be duplicated, shared, re-done on so many levels.
More of these workshops are indeed necessary. Expanding imaginations, collective
healing, building community, learning from others, making friends, telling stories,
experiencing the power of incredible facilitation. and just having dedicated time and
space to prioritize and focus on reflecting about one's sexuality - a rare experience”:
“Definitely yes! This should be regularly done, the "World" out there is so judgemental,
prudish, intolerant. We need more sessions like this for everyone”.
Some strong statements were also made about the value of this workshop in the
lives of some participants: “This workshop is one of the best experiences I have had
this year! For me a big strength of this workshop is the natural sensitivity of the 4
facilitators, plus the storytelling nature of participation, which involved all the
participants. It created an atmosphere of trust, understanding, openness and
acceptance of vulnerability. Being part of such a group is uplifting and freeing”.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 23
2.7 How can the workshop be improved?
While over a third of the participants said they would not change anything about the
workshop and that it was perfect, a number of constructive suggestions emerged
from a specific request to participants to help us to improve the workshop. These
included:
1. The possibility of a take home booklet or reflective resources to use post
workshop including some of the exercises, such as finger holds, offered in the
workshop (since note taking is not allowed).
2. The desire for some ongoing group support post workshop for ongoing
integration e.g., online groups and the importance of having post-workshop one
on one support available if needed.
3. The need to mix up the different groups more so you talk to more different
people.
4. The importance of not placing pressure on people to feel like they have to speak.
5. Keeping the group small enough to have time for everyone to speak if they want.
6. Creating more space for grounding time between the activities.
7. Thinking carefully about workshop location to minimise long travel times daily.
8. Recommendations around other resources for trans related issues and the
importance of taking an intersectional approach that can also “address
privileges/power within the LGBTQI community.”
Some tensions also emerged with some diverging views from the participants. These
included whether to have a third day later to enable processing time, versus
challenges for those that cannot make it or have to travel far. The value of a central
location versus creating residential space. The time taken for different activities was
also contested with some feeling that in the early workshops the initial introductions
were too long while others feeling that it was an important step to build trust in the
facilitators. Overall, participants felt that it was a lot to process in a short time and
more space and time to process would be appreciated. While some suggested that
optional ‘homework’ could be used to assist with integration, others felt that the
program was already very packed:
“I remember leaving feeling so compelled to stay connected to this powerful work -
and that is one thing that I feel like I haven't managed to do as much as I would've
liked. I am wishing I had made more of an effort/commitment to myself and this work
more broadly. I'm wondering how I can integrate more of the experiences and
learnings into my daily life (as an individual and in my community) - I'm thinking even
of the movement exercises, the poems, the songs, the intentions, the prompts - would
there be a way to take some of these home in a little booklet that we could draw
from for support and reminders.”
Overall, the need to roll out the workshops to more people was stressed and also the
value of ‘invisible facilitation which is less scripted and can adapt the workshop format
for different audiences with one SACC respondent noting they had hoped for “specific
help and resources for clergy to enable us to be more affirming, welcoming and
accepting of people who identify as members of the LGBTQI+ community.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 24
* MSC *
2.8 Are more workshops needed, and if so, for who?
Participants were asked if they felt that running more workshops for others would be
valuable and if so why. Overwhelmingly they said yes and that everyone could
benefit. However specific mentions were made of certain groups such as teenagers,
youth, high schools, and those who are ‘officials’ as well as activists:
“Everyone, especially teens and young adults. In my experience as an educator and
therapeutic practitioner working with kids, teens, and young adults, I have discovered
that individuals in these age groups have lots of questions and very few (if any) safe
spaces in which to share and learn.”
CATHARTIC FOR CHANGE AGENTS: “As a change-agent, I have conducted, attended
and been part of many similar initiatives. However, this one stood out by far. Possibly
due to the C19 pandemic lockdown and the stifling of my voice. It really made me
look at things differently and deal with my 'stuffs'. It was very cathartic on a personal
level. I enjoyed the manner in which it was conducted and that we worked with our
experiences on a personal level and could share with others in similar positions.”
Work with church communities, especially evangelical Christian communities, was
flagged most strongly by the participants as a very important group of focus and as
having a particularly pernicious impact on people relation to their sexual bodies
where one respondent said “Church communities, because we have been made
to feel so distant (and often dirty) from our natural bodies…We all need to learn
and respect each other’s sexuality in a changing society.”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 25
However, they felt the workshops should not be exclusively for people of faith but also
for people who are not part of faith communities too. One stressed the need to target
historically disadvantaged communities saying, “These workshops are so needed in
our communities on the Cape Flats for all genders…. I think youth should be one
target area. And a group from 35-50 should be another”. Another pointed to the
fact that this workshop needs to build on and not replace, single identity work and
that it is good for queer participants to have safe spaces for this as well as those in
privileged categories to have to do their own work too and the value of holding
workshops in spaces such as churches, with one noting that, “It’s very powerful to
have this held in a conventional church environment. It needs to i nclude people of
all sexual identities to cross the bridge. Sexual identity must not be an act of
segregation”. Some point out that it can be hard to get privileged groups to sign
up to attend workshops, saying that they “either feel like they know it all – or they
don’t want to know”.
Some participants also pointed to the need to take this work outside South Africa,
especially into other African contexts but insist that the wide diversity present within
the workshop is critical, also noting the importance of connecting sexuality, gender
and racism as well as other intersections as key:
“Part of the magic is having people of different ages, genders, sexual orientations and
backgrounds share the space with each other. The intersections are so important. The
differences allow us to gain a new perspective. For older people it might spark a
thought like is this how it is for my child, grandchild, the young people I know. And the
similarities connect and empower us. Sometimes you see someone from the same
background as you be brave, and it makes you feel you can be brave too.”
Finally, the importance of maintaining the workshops’ healing intention was stressed.
One participant wondered how the workshop would be received in the rural Eastern
Cape conservative Christian community she is living in. She noted the value of the
space and conversations but also questions around context and safety and how to
navigate this. She points out that “this is not a typical gender/sexuality education
workshop” and that “it invites people in who are in some ways seeking healing or
community - which makes it a really unique environment because of how people
show up in the space” and that this needs to be protected as it is rolled out further.
The workshop was also seen as potentially playing a role in the prevention of LGBTQIA+
related violence and discrimination, with one respondent noting how necessary this
work is early on in life: “If we can start at an early stage where most people learn about
their identity, I think parents will not reject their children and children will not commit
suicide or feel rejected or depressed…. more of these workshops are needed in South
African high schools. I think of my high school specifically. Two years ago, a young girl
committed suicide here and a whole community grieved. We need this work to go
like wildfire to our children and young men and women. If I knew then what I know
now, perhaps my teens would not have been so hard…This is NECESSARY work!”
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 26
3. Conclusion and way forwards
This report has summarised key findings from a selected sample of participants on The
Human Sexuality Workshop. It explored what those participants experienced as their
most significant changes as well as what they found impactful, transformative,
memorable, and worthwhile about the workshop they attended. It also opened
space for negative experiences, suggestions, or critique to be given as part of a
commitment to learn, improve and be accountable to the workshop participants.
Three main features stand out from across the full report:
First – the safe space created for encounter and storytelling between diverse people
that was honest and embodied - but also the dual healing intention with
religion/sexuality as a complex intersection that often remains a taboo topic in
religious and cultural spaces.
Second - the experiential methodology approach and the combination of
adapting pre-existing activities and designing entirely new activities appears
to have worked - it lands well with a range of diverse participants.
Third – the value of multi-identity work (straight/queer) that uses an
intersectional and continuum approach as part of healing and transformation
for the future – sustained behaviour and attitudinal shifts by straight people have
been documented as a result.
Moving forwards this report suggests that running more workshops are indeed a
priority, and that this pilot stage has demonstrated both proof of concept and
reinforced its underlying theory of change. Other pilots in other South African
provinces and other countries are also recommended, new collaborations with other
Councils of Churches or interfaith organisations could be explored, and a pilot around
doing this with younger age groups is something that could be looked at carefully.
Participants were also eager to have a reunion. Funds saved over the workshop
enabled this to take place.
HUMAN SEXUALITY // IMPACT ASSESSMENT REPORT 27
We would like to acknowledge the financial support of The Other Foundation and the
commitment of the thirty-five respondents to enable this important report to be
produced. We also thank our team of facilitators for their pioneering work.
Finally, a huge appreciation to all the below participants of our workshops.
#WeCHANGETogether