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'It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do'. Professional popular musicians' experiences of pride, insecurity and pressure in their musicking environment

October 2023

Authors:

Interest surrounding musicians and mental health has burgeoned in both the popular media and academia. Although research has predominantly focused on classical musicians, there has been a slow move towards the phenomenological understanding of popular musicians in the context of their working environments. This study expands the occupational perspective and incorporates a broader overview that is accommodated through Small’s concept of musicking (1998), including the nuanced experiences of both personal and professional music engagement and in relation to mental health. The experiences of seven popular musicians were explored using Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis, which resulted in three themes. The themes consisted of: pride and validation from successfully challenging their personal expectations; loss of self-confidence through musicking; pressures to not let people down. The study illustrated how the musicians experienced their musicking as a contradictory, fluctuating environment in terms of its impact on self-worth. The findings shed light on and develop the reductive polarisation of therapeutic versus destructive impact, where music-making is therapeutic, but pursuing a career in music is destructive.

The demographic of the seven participants.

…

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Norton, N. © Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Autumn 2020)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

Journal Homepage: www.musichealthandwellbeing.co.uk

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I

sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’.

Professional popular musicians’ experiences of pride,

insecurity and pressure in their musicking environment

Adam Ficek

Metanoia Institute and Middlesex University, London

Article Info.

Abstract

Interest surrounding musicians and mental health has burgeoned in both the

popular media and academia. Although research has predominantly focused on

classical musicians, there has been a slow move towards the phenomenological

understanding of popular musicians in the context of their working environments.

This study expands the occupational perspective and incorporates a broader

overview that is accommodated through Small’s concept of musicking (1998),

including the nuanced experiences of both personal and professional music

engagement and in relation to mental health.

The experiences of seven popular musicians were explored using Interpretative

Phenomenological Analysis, which resulted in three themes. The themes

consisted of: pride and validation from successfully challenging their personal

expectations; loss of self-confidence through musicking; pressures to not let

people down. The study illustrated how the musicians experienced their

musicking as a contradictory, fluctuating environment in terms of its impact on

self-worth. The findings shed light on and develop the reductive polarisation of

therapeutic versus destructive impact, where music-making is therapeutic, but

pursuing a career in music is destructive.

Date Submitted:

June 2023

Date Accepted:

July 2023

Date Published:

September 2023

Keywords: Popular musicians, musicking, mental health, music industry, self-esteem, phenomenology

1. Introduction

My initial inspiration for this study developed from ongoing personal experience of being a

professional, popular musician in tandem with my joint role as a psychotherapist, working predominantly

within this demographic. This overview of existing literature presented in the study, provides a macro,

transdisciplinary perspective of the existing knowledge base surrounding popular musicians and mental

health.

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

Within the domain of mental health and music, popular musicians have received little attention

compared to classical musicians (Barbar et al., 2014; Kenny et al., 2014). In 2021, Visser et al. explored

how popular musicians perceive, engage and respond to mental health strategies. The scoping review

involved only six studies that met the criteria, highlighting the distinct lack of literature in this area.

Although research into popular music, as a discipline, has slowly increased, the popular musician still

lags behind (Matarasso, 2019; Raeburn, 1987), which means that despite their historical and academic

significance, the musician, rather than the music, is the ‘battered and neglected orphan’ in the world of

scholarship (Denisoff & Bridges, 1981: 50).

Popular musicians have been shown to be at an increased risk of suicidality (Kenny & Asher,

2016; Newman et al., 2022), substance use (Dobson, 2011) and psychological distress (Berg et al. 2018;

Loveday et al., 2022). Recent US and European studies have highlighted high levels of anxiety and

depression within this demographic (Berg, 2022; Record Union, 2019).

These alarming findings have also been greatly impacted by the Coronavirus (COVID-19)

pandemic and Brexit difficulties, resulting in touring problems and mass performance cancellations on a

large scale (Taylor et al., 2020). The charitable organisation Help Musicians UK recently conducted a

survey of 700 musicians and reported a deterioration of mental health in up to 87% of the respondents.

CEO of the charity, James Ainscough, stated: ‘We can’t sugar coat these findings – we are facing a mental

health crisis amongst musicians on an unprecedented scale’ (Help Musicians, 2021). These findings were

also replicated in other performing arts studies, which revealed an increase in anxiety of up to 83%,

together with 53% of respondents experiencing financial hardship through the loss of work and income,

directly related to the COVID-19 pandemic. Moreover, this financial hardship is strongly associated with

overall higher depression and lower wellbeing in the lives of musicians (Spiro et al., 2020).

2. Reviewing the transdisciplinary literature

This literature review echoes my integrative position as a clinician, musician and researcher, and

draws on trans-disciplinary areas such as music psychology, music therapy, music identity and

psychotherapeutic frameworks. In order to organise and contextualise my study, I examined five main

thematic areas that are prevalent within existing literature. These themes include the popular musicians’

personality characteristics; music listening, playing and the impact on mental health; the occupational

environment and identity.

For further context, I now offer a definition of the key terms used in this study. The definition

of the popular musician in this study integrates conceptual frameworks drawn from Berg et al., (2018),

Cooper and Wills (1989) and Frith (1996). Frith describes popular music as ‘any music that is not of the

Western art or classical tradition, and that is not folk music’ (1996: 42). According to Berg et al., the

popular musician is a performer of diverse styles (2018), who earns their living by playing music outside

of symphonic or classical music contexts (Wills & Cooper, 1988).

Defining the term professional is contentious due to the lack of a widely accepted interpretation

(Geeves et al., 2016). This paper endorses the musician-based definition embraced by Sanders, who

describes a professional musician as a person who is ‘economically supported by his or her skill … and

acknowledged as a professional by members of the society of which she is a part’ (1974: 16). Visser et

al. further define professional musicians as ‘individuals who receive financial remuneration of any kind

(full-time, part-time, or freelance) for their emerging or established work’ (2021: 817).

Musicians and their experiences are often understood through isolated and artificially siloed

topics involving areas such as the occupational environment, playing or listening to music, or even

substance use. In reality, these experiences are more fluid, involving a subtle blending and crossover

between many factors. The term musicking has been used to contain this wide field and to explore and

integrate this extensive range of professional and personal, music related experiences. The cultural

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

musicologist Christopher Small coined the term musicking (1998) to describe the doing of music, being

a verb rather than a noun. This term is further defined as the ‘taking part, in any capacity, in a musical

performance, whether by performing, listening, rehearsing or practicing’ (1998: 9). The ambiguous nature

of Small’s definition has prompted an array of interpretations, such as understanding the term to refer

exclusively to playing instruments (Ekholme et al., 2016) or seeing it as an ecological bridge exploring a

diverse range of music-related activities (Golden, 2016). In this study ‘musicking’ is understood to

include any activity connected to the act of a musical performance within the modern environment of

popular musicians. This wider and more inclusive framework of musicking has allowed me to avoid a

priori restrictions or limitations on exploring the musicians’ experiences from their own perspectives.

This range of activities could include many different peripheral roles, such as management meetings and

compiling touring schedules, as well as the more fundamental aspects of music creation, production, or

listening and rehearsing.

2.1. Popular musicians’ personal characteristics

Psychological studies involving classical musicians have previously linked creativity to

personality traits and psychological difficulties, and they have further suggested that creativity is a

prerequisite to musicking, with its inherent risk of mental health struggles and disorders (Akiskal et al.,

2005). These assumptions position musicians, along with other creative artists, as potentially being

genetically predisposed to mental health struggles due to their innate creativity (Berg et al., 2022) or

harbouring common personality traits (Kemp, 1996; Marchant-Haycox & Wilson, 1992).

Research exploring the personality and identity of popular musicians is scant in comparison to

classical musicians. This lack of research may be due to the ambiguous nature of the diverse genres that

fall under the umbrella of this unique demographic or to the relatively recent history of the popular

musician. However, the lack of research is surprising, considering the high number of musicians falling

into this group.

Wills and Cooper (1987: 18) suggest that these ‘musicians possess emotional instability and

signs of psychological disturbance along similar lines to other creative individuals’. Further studies report

both popular and classical musicians as being more extroverted, arrogant and dominant compared to

population norms, as well as exhibiting higher levels of neuroticism (Dyce and O’Connor, 1994; Gillespie

and Myers, 2000) with a reduced stability of self-experience (self-esteem) (Szabolcs et al., 2017). This

instability of self correlates with other research suggesting a greater vulnerability in the popular musician

demographic (Raeburn, 2007) manifesting as self-doubt, and feelings of alienation (Dobson, 2011).

From the existing body of research surrounding this complex topic, it would appear that a

potentially tentative correlation could be made between popular musicians’ personality traits and a higher

vulnerability to mental health struggles, but it remains largely unknown to what extent this is the case

(Woody, 1999; Cameron et al., 2015). Mental health struggles experienced by popular musicians are a

complex interaction of personal characteristics and the social environment, along with the meanings

subsequently constructed from them. This complexity remains largely unexplored in research studies.

One further criticism that can be levelled against previous research is that the studies have focused on

predominantly male samples (Rose et al., 2019), generating a limited set of results within the gender bias.

2.2. Music engagement

The correlation between music and emotion has been empirically validated (Juslin & Sloboda,

2011). Existing research often fails to separate the experiences of amateur, professional and non-

musicians when exploring the mental health impact of listening or playing music.

Although existing research has explored correlations between personality traits and mental

health difficulties, there is little evidence within the popular or classical musician tradition that highlights

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

how personal or professional musicking impacts these supposed personality characteristics and thus,

mental health (Saarikallio et al., 2020).

Most of the psychological research surrounding how musicking influences emotions is framed

within music therapy settings in the clinical population or in the non-musician demographic. These

theoretical perspectives, alongside musicians’ enhanced ability to articulate personal emotions more

efficiently than non-musicians (Greasley et al., 2013), form part of the complexity of potentials

surrounding mental health. Within this area, empirical, epidemiological studies exploring links between

music and the risk to mental health are rare (for a review see Theorell & Kreutz, 2012), yet there is an

abundance of evidence suggesting that mental health and emotional experience is impacted positively

through music engagement (Juslin & Sloboda, 2011).

Woody and McPherson suggest how the two activities of music listening and playing ‘share

underlying motives’ (2010: 403) and are potentially the same. Music listening is known to influence

psychological states through various factors such as emotional regulation (Van Goethem & Sloboda 2011)

and reducing stress (Baltazar & Saarikallio, 2019). This complex process also fluctuates depending on

many factors such as genre (Cook et al., 2019), musical characteristics, or our nostalgic ties to important

times and places (Juslin & Västfjäll, 2008). Paradoxically, music listening can also be used as an

unhealthy coping strategy (Silverman, 2020), where it contributes to an overly sentimental, nostalgic

relationship to memories (Hesmondhalgh, 2013), serves as a stimulus for dysfunctional rumination

(McFerran, 2019) and prompts undesirable behaviour (Kennaway, 2016).

Most of the research surrounding the area of mental health and music listening is situated

within the music therapy or music psychology literature, focusing on the clinical or general (non-

musician) population rather than musicians. Within the academic literature, there is a surprisingly limited

amount of research on musicians and music listening, given their innate sensitivity towards musically

evoked emotions (Athalia & Killis, 2020; Gaser & Schlaug, 2003; Mikutta et al., 2014)

2.3. Playing music

Active musical engagement involves playing, practicing, rehearsing or any other form of being

physically involved with a music-making process. In the field of music therapy, non-musicians and the

clinical population, participatory music engagement has been found to be beneficial in a multitude of

ways. These psychological benefits include positive or useful factors, such as increased wellbeing

(Daykin et al., 2018; Mac Ritchie et al., 2020), quality of life (Bonde & Theorell, 2018; Clift et al., 2010),

positive influence on moods (Valentine & Evans, 2011) and facilitation of self-esteem (Chang et al., 2018;

Perkins & Williamon, 2014). Additionally, within the general population, community aspects of

musicking are often found to be the most profound in terms of subjective wellbeing derived from social

factors (Loersch & Arbuckle, 2013; Weinberg & Joseph, 2017) or facilitating self-development (Perkins

et al., 2020).

Despite these positive findings linking music engagement and wellbeing, Clift et al. argue for

further critique on research surrounding the impact of the arts on health and challenge the extent to which

the arts impact the promotion of wellbeing. These critiques extend a body of research that challenges the

assumption that arts and culture have a purely positive impact on health and wellbeing (Grebosz-Haring

et al., 2022; Mira, 2006). It is of note that these studies all omit the popular musician demographic.

From a popular musician perspective, Raeburn expresses how musical creativity and active

engagement present a unique opportunity for musicians to emotionally regulate themselves and make

meaning from previous psychological wounds (1999). Additionally, music may serve as a cathartic or

even therapeutic process whereby popular musicians are able to purge negative emotions Dyce &

O’Conner (1994) or develop a ‘clear sense of self’ within the classical demographic (Ascenso et al., 2017:

65).

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

The brief literature discussed above highlights the emotional impact of music listening and

playing in both musician and non-musician demographics. Within these existing studies, there is a distinct

lack of evidence about how popular musicians use music for their own mental health (Saarikallio et al.,

2020) or even about how playing impacts their personal understanding and experience.

2.4. The impact of the occupational environment

General Occupational research has shown a strong correlation between mental health and the

psychosocial work environment (Karasek et al. 1990; Van Der Doef & Maes, 1999). The specific and

nuanced nature of the environmental demands on musicians’ working lives has previously been

researched using a variety of occupational health frameworks drawn mainly from a classical musician,

quantitative perspective (Jacukowicz, 2016; Johansson and Theorell, 2003).

Historical studies have explored the lives of British and US popular musicians reporting high

levels of stress emanating from significant factors including the precarity of work, low income, work

overload, work underload (boredom), music performance anxiety, pressure within relationships, the

musicians’ lifestyle, and being treated as second-class citizens (Raeburn, 1987; Wills & Cooper’s 1984,

1987, 1988). These occupational stressors were also mirrored in recent studies highlighting the negative

mental health impact of hyper competition (Berg et al. 2022), touring (Parker et al. 2021) and sleep

deprivation (Kegelaers, 2022; Van Den Eynde et al., 2016). The touring environment in particular poses

significant distress (Newman et al, 2022; Zendel, 2021) due to the demands on the modern musician to

perform for longer periods to offset the diminishing income of digital earnings (McKinna, 2014). These

stressors are somewhat mitigated by social support and connection to others (Heyman et al., 2019;

Newman et al., 2022)

The psychological impactful modern music environment (Detari et al. 2020; Vaag et al, 2016)

also prompts musicians to adopt an independent and autonomous behavioural approach to their portfolio,

boundary-less careers significantly impacting mental health (Berg et al., 2022). Within this modern

technologically pressured and insecure environment (Hracs, 2012; Parker et al. 2021; Prior, 2018), there

is also a significant overlap between the more traditional definitions and identities of aspiring musician,

working musician, celebrity musician (Raeburn, 1997) and superstars in regard to the demanding nature

of social media and its impact (Margiotta, 2012). These identity struggles are thought to emerge as a result

of the interaction between occupational stress and the pressure of commercial success (Raeburn, 2000)

accentuated through the psychological inflexibility required to separate music and lifestyle (Macdonald

& Wilson, 2005). These identity factors can contribute towards a major source of stress for musicians

(Parker et al., 2021), mitigated through substance use and drinking which is often normalised and accepted

as an inherent part of the hedonistic, rebellious and high-risk behaviour (Bellis et al., 2007; 2012) of the

lifestyle (Groce, 1991; Ptatscheck, 2020; Raeburn, 1999).

Alternatively, research has shown how the identity of being a rock musician was an essential

component of being a popular musician (King & Pierce, 2020). The research illustrated the value of

musicking in enabling the musicians to understand themselves, their band participation, creativity,

societal contributions and opportunities in relation to their sense of selves.

3. Methodology and Method

This research paper is situated within a critical, realist perspective (Bhaskar, 1975; 1998); this

philosophical position assumes that there is a real world in which we all exist, but we all come at it from

our own ‘socially determined knowledge about reality’ (Danermark et al., 2019: 16). Therefore, this

approach to personal understanding is mediated by our own perceptions and interpretations assuming

multiple versions of reality. There is something real, but we are critical of it from the perspective of the

subjective, fallibility of our dynamic, idiographic life experiences and theoretical viewpoints.

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

This research was fundamentally concerned with how a particular group of participants view

their musicking and mental health experiences. Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) was used

to explore the musicians’ salient experiences from an idiographic perspective and also by taking account

of where these experiences converge for the group as a whole. The goal with IPA is to get as close to the

participants’ experiences as possible, in order to analyse and examine in great detail how the musicians

have made sense of their own experience (Smith et al., 2021).

3.1. Participants

In May 2022, the Metanoia Institute and Middlesex University granted ethical approval for the

research. Kvale and Brinkmann’s (2009) moral and ethical considerations of interviewing, alongside the

ethical frameworks as provided by the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) for

research in counselling professions (Mitchels, 2018), provided a practical, robust and ethical foundation

for the data collection. These guidelines included factors such as informed consent, confidentiality,

consequences, and the role of researcher.

The recruitment process involved contacting my peers within the music-based, mental health

charities I am associated with and using the following inclusion criteria:

1: Self-defined popular musicians

2: Earning most of their income from music-based activities

3: Adult (over 18) and UK-based

4: They included performance within their musicking activities

5: Non-clinical population

6: Proficient in the English language

The final sample consisted of seven, self-identified popular musicians. The demographic

consisted of three males and four females of mixed age, genre, race and ethnicity, including two non-

white musicians and one participant with a self-defined limb difference.

Table 1. The demographic of the seven participants.

Participant

Age

Gender

Race/Ethnicity

David

65-75

Male

White British

Bruce

65-75

Male

Black British

Anya

35-45

Female

Black British

Claire

35-45

Female

White British

Fiona

35-45

Female

White British

25-35

Male

White British

Gloria

35-45

Female

White British

3.2. Procedure

The data used in the study was generated through transcribing the semi-structured interviews.

The use of the SSI in qualitative research has a proven and successful (Griffiths, 2009) record of acquiring

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

the in-depth, first-person accounts of experience (Kvale, 2007) that were crucial for my research question

of: How do professional popular musicians understand their musicking in relation to mental health?

The interviews were conducted personally using a digital platform due to the availability and

time constraints of the musicians. These recorded interviews were approximately one hour in duration

and transcribed verbatim.

3.3. Data Analysis

Interpretative Phenomenological Analysis (IPA) consists of a loose set of stages used to gain

insight into how people understand their lives. This ‘painstaking analysis’ (Smith & Osborn, 2008: 56)

involved initial engagement with the individual cases, before embarking upon a cross case comparison of

similarities and differences. The idiographic nature of IPA requires that each participant’s transcript is

fully analysed on its own merit before moving onto other cases. This analysis involves making

explanatory notes, identifying experiential statements from these notes, grouping and clustering, and

finally constructing experiential themes into personal experiential themes (PETs) (Smith & Nizza, 2021).

When this process is completed for all seven participants the analysis shifts to the development of

emerging Group Experiential Themes (GETs). The criterion for these higher-order GETs was met by

ensuring that they were present in approximately 70% of the sample, which in this instance meant being

represented by at least four participants. The GETs were developed from the hermeneutic circle shifting

between the higher order concepts of convergence, the PETs, experiential statements, and original

transcripts.

3.4. Trustworthiness and reflexivity

Drawing upon Smith’s (2011) evaluative markers of quality in IPA, the strength and rigour of this data

are evidenced through the explicit trail leading from the initial, rich articulation of experience through to

the interpretations, analysis and subsequent formulation of GETs. The use of verbatim quotes throughout

the different sections offered a robust thread of evidential material grounding the thesis.

Holding an intention of awareness and reflexivity regarding the ways in which my personal

experience, race, affiliation, sexual orientation, age, gender, immigration status, responses to participants

and many other factors impact the research (Berger, 2015) was crucial to this process. This awareness is

made even more complex by my own identity bias (Roberts, 2013) as a musician with an exposed media

profile. From my standpoint as an insider researcher, the acknowledgement and active use of my reflective

position is a fundamental component of the double hermeneutic of IPA.

4. Results

This study illustrates the ways in which the musicians constantly grapple with their sense of self-

esteem, value and worth in the turbulent environment of professional musicking. The shifting

psychological and emotional impact of musicking experiences on a sense of self was apparent for every

participant. The most salient of these experiences were grouped into the following three sub-themes

below:

1) Pride in achievement and successfully challenging personal expectations

2) Loss of self-confidence through musicking

3) The pressure not to let people down

4.1. Pride in achievement and successfully challenging personal expectations

This sub-theme explores how the participants experienced feelings of pride in their musicking.

This self-pride is evoked and evidenced through the musicians’ personal achievement in terms of

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

performance goals, cultural milestones, and embracing tangible evidence of success. The sense of pride

they experienced is further enhanced when they exceed personal expectations, which reframes and

challenges their self-narratives.

Within this sub-theme, five of the musicians were explicit about their feelings of pride evoked

through their musicking. Below, Claire describes her experience of levelling up through a successful

performance.

C: One thing is that I levelled up, because it’s the first time I’d sung in front of like, you know,

2 to 3000 people at a time and I was doing lead vocals and erm, yeah, I felt like I, like I did it, I

did it really well, and I was really proud of myself. So that was one of the things that really stuck

with me for that tour (221).

Claire describes her feelings of improvement and achievement through levelling up. This

accomplishment within a performing environment prompted Claire to feel pride, and this significant and

validating event “stuck” with her for the duration of the tour. Her feelings of having performed “really

well” within the difficult context of the large audience, together with the vulnerability of being exposed

through singing lead vocals prompted Claire to feel that her success was even greater, as it had been

achieved in the face of adversity. The extract evokes the sense of pride Claire derived through proving to

herself that she could achieve success in difficult environments, which enabled her to level up as a

performer.

This pride in achieving a performing milestone and challenging personal expectations is also

echoed by Bruce.

B: It’s like, you know, the first time we did Top of the Pops, you know, I mean, because, you

know, that was even in our, in our dream, it’s that dream you know, and we get up and do Top

of the Pops, it’s the biggest thing you know for me, that we’ve achieved something (238).

Bruce’s experience of playing on the British television show, Top of the Pops, was a cultural

milestone for his band evoking a personal sense of achievement and pride. At the time of Bruce’s

musicking highlight, performing on the programme was heralded as a beacon of success for musical

artists in the United Kingdom. Bruce described how this initial experience of performing on the show

provided him with tangible evidence of accomplishment through achieving his “dream”. From Bruce’s

use of the word “we” it could be suggested that he experienced a joint sense of communal success and

pride for the whole band when they appeared on the programme. Achieving his “biggest” “dream” could

also be interpreted as doing something that he had previously considered to be unattainable, realising an

impossible expectation for both him or his band, thereby challenging a wider narrative of the exclusivity

of musicking. This pride evoked by a communal experience is also described by Gloria in the extract

below.

G: I know some people say the acoustics aren’t good, but they were good for our music right at

the time and you know, it just fitted really well. Like it just felt right… Yeah, excitement. Er,

like it’s sort of contentment really, you know, like, on a high afterwards but in a sort of really

good way (480).

Gloria describes her feelings about selling out an important show in her career and how she

subsequently experienced pride through feelings of “contentment” and being on a “high”.

The context of this performance is situated within the communal framework of joint achievement

with her audience and the collective pride of both band and fans. The sense of pride is also enhanced

through the previously inconceivable nature of this achievement, similar to Bruce’s “dream”.

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

This personal challenge to previous expectations as well as Gloria’s internalised narrative

resemble Anya’s portrayal of her elated feelings of surprise after writing down her musicking

achievements for a funding application.

A: I surprised, I surprised myself. Yeah, it was surprising and also empowering. You know,

because coming from a space of like, being not confident enough and struggled with like self-

confidence even before starting to play music. All of a sudden, I kind of had on a piece of paper

lay down reason why I should actually be proud of myself and like, feeling empowered (84).

In the above extract, Anya, like Claire, exhibits a sense of astonishment when acknowledging

her achievements. This pride and empowerment are expressed against the backdrop of her underlying

lack of self-confidence, which she had felt before becoming a professional musician. Like Claire, it could

be surmised that Anya’s great surprise at her accomplishments contributed to enhancing her feeling of

achievement.

The extract illustrated how Anya struggled with recognising her worth as a musician and how

collating tangible evidence subsequently justified why she “should” be proud of herself. The word

“should” could suggest Anya’s reluctance (and lack of acceptance) to embrace self-pride and could be

linked with her psychological background of feeling inadequate. This interpretation draws on how Anya’s

feeling of pride was validated as a result of seeing her musicking achievements on “paper”. The

interpretation that Anya felt a sense of self pride was strengthened by other statements within the

transcript such as “where that put me in my mental health? It just made me feel so proud” (572). In the

latter half of the extract, Anya’s phrase, “all of a sudden”, suggests the immediacy of the sudden

realisation of her achievements that had previously gone unnoticed. This explicit recognition of her

achievements prompted a sense of pride and empowerment and emphasises the psychological challenge

in Anya’s previous narrative of chronic, low self-confidence and inhibited self-expectations.

Ed’s experience of pride resembles Claire’s response to her performing achievement and the

pleasure Anya felt when she surprised herself by successfully challenging her low self-expectations

within musicking.

E: I felt like it was a full room and I felt like I did a good job. I was like, you know what I, I

mean, I felt like I won them over. And I was like, kind of happy with that. Because initially, I

was like, shit, it’s just me and the acoustic and this is a rock band. But yeah, it was great. I felt

like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do (398).

E: I think a lot of it is from writing, it’s if you get, if you get something, you create a song that

you think has merit, and you think it’s good. You know, there’s some sense of, you can believe

in yourself and be proud of yourself (685).

Ed’s feeling of pride is evoked by his description of how he did a “good job” in the face of

perceived adversity and created a song “that has merit”. In the first extract, Ed describes how winning the

crowd over and connecting with the audience despite his sonic limitations enabled him to feel happy.

Ed’s description of his achievement suggests a level of pride in how he navigated the environmental

adversity and his own fear (expressed through the word “shit”) to connect and win the support of a

potentially hostile crowd. Like Claire, who said that she lacked experience of performing to a large

audience, Ed’s description of how it was just “me and the acoustic and this is a rock band”, suggests that

his achievement had greater value because of his expectation of failure and his judgement of the

performance as being a “difficult thing to do”.

The second extract illustrates the sense of pride and enhanced self-belief that Ed derived from

the creation of a song that had “merit”, as he shifts tense to the use of “you” rather than “I”. This change

of pronouns could be interpreted as Ed’s difficulty in connecting to his feelings of pride and achievement

through the intimacy of his song writing rather than psychologically distancing himself from a fear of

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

performing. In the second extract, Ed’s use of the word “merit” conveys how he derives self-pride from

the personal emotional impact of his own compositions. Here, Ed diverges from the others in that his

feeling of pride is internally validated rather than being based on the interpersonal impact described by

the others. The extract illustrates how Ed’s feelings of pride come from self-evaluation as well as his own

musicking creativity and the positive external validation of performance.

This sub-theme has explored how the musicians derived a sense of pride from their musicking

when they achieved success in the face of adversity and challenged their narrative expectations of failure.

These experiences of pride are contextualised and evidenced through the personal achievement and

levelling up described by Claire, the cultural achievement of performing on Top of the Pops referred to

by Bruce, Gloria’s selling out of a prestigious music venue, Anya’s tangible evidence of her achievements

and Ed’s winning over of a potentially hostile crowd or writing a good song. The next sub-theme

highlights how the participants experience the impact of their musicking on their self-confidence within

the context of their overall sense of self.

4.2. Loss of self-confidence through musicking

This sub-theme highlights the impact of musicking experiences on the participants’ self-

confidence. Loss of self-confidence is predominantly framed within the relational contexts of comparison,

cultural bias, vulnerability, exposure, confusion, hostility and ambiguity. Six of the participants made

explicit reference to how their musicking experiences had impacted their self-confidence and self-doubt.

Below, Anya explores the paradoxical nature of how musicking negatively impacts her self-

confidence.

A: Well, it impacts a lot. Like, as I say, yeah, it may be contradictory, but it also impacts a lot of

my self-confidence like musicking when it comes to not really to performance but like, to create

music and to play music with other people. I can't really count, I think, I think that a lot of artists

are going through this like imposter syndrome, sort of thing where we feel that we're not good

enough (188).

Anya describes the contradictory impact of her musicking and how playing with other musicians

provokes feelings of acceptance, but also “imposter syndrome”. From this contradictory relationship with

other musicians, it could be interpreted that Anya feels competition, comparison and critical judgement

when creating and musicking with others which could intensify feelings of shame and being “not good

enough”. This could be further interpreted as meaning that Anya’s shift of focus to the wider lens of other

“artists” also lessens her personal shame and self-doubt by identifying with other musicians and

distancing herself from her own experience. She goes on to develop this communal dimension by

describing how many of her musician peers also “go through” this “imposter syndrome” where “we” feel

comparably inadequate within the occupational environment.

This sense of vulnerability, exposure and inadequacy through musicking is also apparent in

Claire’s extract below:

C: I’ve always hated people saying, “Oh, Claire, you can sing, sing us a song”. You know, from

being a kid. I’ve always felt like it’s, it’s kind of a really personal thing, and that I don’t, I don’t

want to be put on the spot to start singing. I’ve always felt like my voice isn’t what you think of

when you think of a good singer. It's, it's powerful and it's authentic. But it's not got loads of

vibrato on it, and you know, it’s not Whitney Houston or whatever. So I don’t, I’ve kind of

always felt a bit self-conscious about sharing it, unless it’s in the right context (486).

Claire expresses her chronic discomfort and feeling exposure at being “put on the spot” to

perform or in “sharing’” her singing for the light entertainment of others. The extract highlights the

personal nature of her musicking as well as her insecurity about her abilities outside of the correct

performing context. Claire’s vulnerability and self-doubt is also shown through her self-deprecating

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

description of “I’ve always felt like my voice isn’t what you think of when you think of a good singer”,

which conveys an assumption of critical judgement through the limited musical understanding of others.

She describes her voice as “powerful” and “authentic” but swiftly moves to a negative self-comparison

with the popular singer “Whitney Houston or whatever” to distance and differentiate her identity as an

alternative artist. This sensitivity to other people’s popular assumptions about what makes a “good singer”

could be interpreted as Claire’s insecurity and her need for the safety of expressing herself in the context

of her own controlled environment. Her experience of professional musicking cautiously straddles a

fragile sense of self, caught between others’ expectations and her own self confidence in her artistic

identity and the security afforded to her through particular performing contexts.

This vulnerability to criticism is also mirrored in David’s performing experiences outlined

below.

D: I’ve never been that self-confident anyway. Er, surprisingly, it might seem surprising, erm,

and when you’re writing lyrics, they’re coming from you. And so if anyone criticises them or

picks holes in it, that’s you, that’s your real, the inside you it’s not like when a plumber does a

bad sort of join on a pipe, you know, that’s just a mistake. But if it’s your lyrics, that’s what you

believe that’s, you know, your sort of being, and if someone takes the mickey out of it, then that

completely crushes and that’s why I used to get quite aggressive. Erm, plus, there was endless

trouble with bone heads and stuff in those days, but erm, I was always on the lookout, and if

anybody took the piss out, I would really rip into them, you know, so it’s, for me, it was like a

defence mechanism (80).

David describes the vulnerable and personal nature of his lyrics and their innate connection to

his sense of self. He illustrates how his lyrics can make him feel like his “insides” are laid bare through

exposure to scrutiny. Through his comparison with the objective and impersonal work of a plumber

making a “bad join” or a generic mistake, David further illustrates the exposed nature of his job as a

musician. This feeling of exposure that comes from musicking is evoked through his sensitivity towards

anyone picking “holes” or taking the “mickey” and the emotional experience of being totally crushed that

this evokes.

The plumber comparison suggests the persecutory nature of David’s feelings of exposure within

the musicking environment and the personally destructive impact of any criticism. By making the

comparison with a tradesman, David is also drawing attention to his nuanced misunderstood uniqueness

of being a sensitive musician under scrutiny, which contrasts with the impersonal, detached and objective

work of a tradesman.

Resonating with Claire’s description, David’s feeling of being misunderstood is further depicted

in his assumption of how “people” (or perhaps I, the interviewer) may be surprised to discover his lack

of confidence. This vulnerability is illustrated through his defensive position of aggression, and his hyper

vigilance, self-protectiveness and readiness to attack anyone taking the “piss” or potentially ridiculing

him. David’s extract conveys that his personal musicking is akin to a battleground derived from his

sensitivity to criticism and his previous experience of the “endless trouble with bone heads” (skin head,

youth culture rivalry).

David’s defensive aggression resonates with that of Ed, who describes the combined feelings of

indignation, confusion and resignation within his own musicking relationships.

E: So my first feeling of it was like anger and then I had another feeling of like, oh, this person

doesn’t believe in me. Why am I working with somebody who doesn’t really believe in um,

that I can make this a viable thing? But then at the same time they’d say to me, you know, they

clearly invested money and time into me so then it was very, it was a confusing thing but it

definitely, like I felt, just, I maybe, you know I’m, I’m not good enough to do this. I can’t make

it work (212).

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

Above, Ed describes his feelings of self-doubt, prompted by a confusing interaction with his

manager. The extract conveys his bewilderment and subsequent self-doubt from feeling that although his

managers supported him, they also lacked confidence in him. Ed based his feeling of external support and

worth through the perceived time commitment invested in him from this manager. This support was

fractured when the manager suggested he should find a job to subsidise his music income. His conflictual

turmoil prompted Ed’s feelings of inadequacy and left him questioning his own abilities as a songwriter,

as shown when he said: “I’m not good enough to do this. I can’t make it work”. It could be interpreted

from this that Ed struggled to feel confident in “making it work” both for himself and his manager. As

with David, the extract illustrates the extent to which Ed’s musicking is tied to his sense of self, yet his

feelings of resignation and self-doubt differ from David’s aggressive reactions.

Like Ed, Fiona also draws a correlation between external relationships and her sense of worth

and self-confidence.

F: My confidence was like at an all-time low because of some of the stuff that he’d said and

was quite hostile about things, to the point where, even like, recently, I’ve been in rehearsal

rooms with people like doing some writing or production or whatever, not as a drummer, I then

have to be like, just kind of uncertain to be like, I don’t know, if I’m, if I’m annoying. Like, I

know what you’re talking about, and I like, I kind of got made to feel that way before and it’s

making me question myself and, and all of that. And that can kind of mess with you because

you sort of get, end up getting in your own head, rather than just playing and trying to like, do

the job that you’re there to do (616).

Fiona describes how a previous close musicking relationship had an ongoing impact on her self-

confidence, self-judgement and focus. Her previous experience of hostility and criticism impacted the

way she viewed herself in other musicking relationships. Fiona alludes to how her previous “all-time

low” experiences of “being made to feel” inadequate have been internalised and can evoke uncertainty

about her current abilities. This internalised insecurity and self-doubt prompted her to question whether

she annoyed people, suggesting a fear of being rejected.

From Fiona’s comment describing how she was “made to feel” (that she is annoying), it could

be interpreted that she struggles with a lack of agency and emotional boundaries with regard to how others

can impact her emotionally, leaving her vulnerable to self-doubt. Fiona’s insecurity therefore distracts

her from doing her designated “job”, producing a personal internal cycle of self-doubt and distraction.

This insecurity is further illustrated through her description of how these experiences “mess” with her

head, suggesting her fear and anxiety of experiencing similar critical conflict. The extract highlights

Fiona’s experience of mistreatment within a particular musicking relationship, prompting a vulnerability

to shame and eroding her self-confidence. These feelings subsequently impacted the embodied fluidity of

her playing, as she sought refuge in her “head”.

Fiona’s insecurity within musicking relationships is also resonant with Gloria’s vulnerability to

the fear of poor attendance at her shows, leading to cancellation.

G: Erm, what did it mean for me, less people? It meant less. It felt like it had always gone up

when it was going down, and I’m sure that this is cyclical, and they can come back and different

music means different things. It just felt like a really good place to stop. Um, but it was quite,

the not knowing how many people that were there, would be there, made it quite difficult. Like

I would love to be zen enough to let go of that and not care and just make 20 people have a

lovely time but there’s only so many times you want to do that (267).

Above, Gloria describes her decision to cancel a tour due to uncertainty about ticket sales. When

further exploring the personal impact of low ticket sales, Gloria reflected on how her fanbase was

decreasing rather than on her expectations of an increasing audience. This novel experience together with

the uncertain, cyclic nature of the music industry influenced her current decision of it being a “really good

place to stop”. Gloria’s philosophical reflection conveys her insecurity and the impact on her self-doubt

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

of the dwindling ticket sales and perceived loss of interest from her fanbase. Measuring her success and

related personal value by the external validation of sales showed her vulnerability and exacerbated the

difficulty of “not knowing”. This uncertainty and the cancellation of the shows could be further

interpreted as a self-protective mechanism through which Gloria could manage her own shame at being

explicitly undervalued or dismissed through diminishing interest. At the end of the extract she alludes to

previous experiences of playing to a small crowd and how there are “only so many times you want to do

that”, which conveys the frustration she feels without the forward momentum of a growing fanbase. She

concludes by outlining her ensuing struggle and desire to be “zen” enough to “let go” of the reactionary

feelings of self-doubt.

This sub-theme has explored the impact of musicking relationships and their potential to prompt

internalised feelings of self-doubt, insecurity and low self-worth within the musicians’ overarching sense

of self. These are illustrated through factors such as Anya’s “imposter syndrome”, Claire’s self-protective

approach to using her singing voice, David’s vulnerability about exposing his inner self through his lyrics,

Ed’s confused self-doubt about a managerial relationship, Fiona’s experience of a hostile relationship and

Gloria’s struggle with a dwindling audience. The next sub-theme highlights the pressures to navigate self-

worth and value through achievement and avoiding letting people down.

4.3. The pressure to avoid letting people down

This sub-theme describes how the musicians experienced the pressure to be of value and not let

people down within their musicking journey. All the participants apart from Gloria said that they

experienced a sense of obligation to avoid disappointing others. This pressure was framed through the

commitment to audiences, underrepresented demographics, colleagues and music industry personnel.

These experiences were idiographically impactful through factors such as pressure, resilience, ambivalent

reluctance, mental conflict and emotional distancing.

Bruce and David experienced similar feelings of pressure and the continuous need to deliver an

optimal level of performance for their audiences. Both musicians felt an obligation to their close-knit

band and audience community. Bruce’s extract below illustrates his resilient approach to delivering a

“one hundred percent” performance.

B: You know, you get up there. You give it one hundred percent every time. It doesn’t matter

if you’re, if you’re sick, or whatever it is, you know, I feel like, you gotta go and give it 100%.

Because, you know, the audience pay for that, and, you know, because at times with those,

right, the audience was like, part of the band (327).

Bruce describes the pressure and need for a consistent optimal, “one hundred percent” effort “every time”

he performs. By explicitly stating the necessity to play through any discomfort of being “sick or

whatever”, he further outlines his view of the obligation to place the audience’s needs before any personal

struggles he may be experiencing. He initially conveys this pressure to be of value through his statement

of: “because, you know, the audience pay for that”. This viewpoint is suggestive of a hierarchical

framework where his band is the service provider and the audience is the customer. This unbalanced

relationship later shifts into a more communal perspective that illustrates the symbiotic connection

between audience and band, which conveys the felt sense of obligation to the band’s musicking

community as a whole.

David also shares Bruce’s sense of communal obligation and commitment as described in the

extract below:

I know, It's a self-inflicted thing. But I can't not do it, Adam. Erm, and I think with that, you

know, maybe I just pressurise myself, but I just feel that there's a pressure. You know, erm that,

if I fuck up at a gig, I've let all those people down who spent all that money. You know, if they’ve

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

bothered to a hotel or get on a flight or to come to my gig on a shitty Wednesday, winter's night,

you know, I've got to do the best I can be you know. I’ve got to be worth the money (458).

David describes his “self-inflicted” pressure to not let the people down. He frames this obligation

to the audience within the context of the time and financial commitment they have made when attending

the show, alongside his need to be “worth the money”. Like Bruce, David illustrates his compulsion to

give “one hundred percent” by suggesting he “can’t not do it”’ in relation to the pressure of performing

to the point of “burn out” (315) stated earlier in the transcript. He describes the internal and external

pressure alongside the obligation to avoid the risk that he might “fuck up at a gig” and let “people down”

through his sensitive, self-conscious awareness of any potential mistakes. David’s extract further conveys

this sense of pressure and commitment through his need to be the “best he can be” for the audience. Like

Bruce, David refers to this obligation to the audience but with the additional angle of considering their

level of commitment, if they are “bothered to book a hotel or get on a flight or to come to my gig on a

shitty Wednesday, winter’s night”. These feelings of accountability that David expresses also prompt him

to feel the pressure of being ‘‘worth the money”, so that the perceived sacrifice of the audience can be

justified and reciprocated. David’s use of the phrase of “maybe I just pressurise myself” further conveys

his potential reflective awareness of the conflicted relationship between his internalised process and the

external pressure from his fanbase.

Overall, David’s extract conveys feelings of guilt and the pressure he feels not to be anything

less than the “best he can be”, owing to his fear of letting “all those people down”. This pressure could

be interpreted as both a blessing and a burden for David, who places a high value on the “caring and

sharing” (564) community ethos of his musicking. This feeling of pressure suggests that David has a

special, personal affiliation with his audience that far exceeds the standard, distanced, performer-audience

relationship and that results in overcompensation to limit disappointment.

Claire frames the pressure she experiences from her feelings of obligation in terms of

representing people with a disability.

C: Oh, “she's got a disability”, so therefore, I'm representing everyone with a disability, and I

kind of, I kind of feel that rightly or wrongly, I do feel that that kind of weight on my shoulders

a lot of the time. And what I also feel that there's a real, there's a real power to me doing what

I do (582).

Claire’s experience of feeling the pressure of obligation converges with David and Bruce

through carrying the heavy weight of being perceived as a representative for the disabled community.

Claire’s indignation, conveyed through the timbral change in her voice and her words “Oh, she’s got a

disability”, reflects the level of objectification and obligation she feels at being viewed as a representative

for the wider demographic of all disabled musicians. She describes this as a “weight on her shoulders”,

which conveys the heavy burden of this projected assumption and the need she feels, to fulfil this role for

others and not disappoint, similar to Bruce and David. Her use of the phrase “rightly or wrongly” implies

that she has conflicting views on her representative role. Claire’s apparent ambivalence, where she sees

her role both as a burden and a reason for gratitude, is later conveyed in greater depth through her explicit

mention of the combination of pressure and empowerment derived from being a representative. Claire’s

ambivalence could be interpreted through the wider lens of the paradoxical combination of positive and

negative impact associated with being singled out for her disability, and the status and pressure resulting

from this.

Fiona’s experience of pressure from her own nuanced perspective of not wanting to let people

down also resembles the perspective of other participants.

F: But it was like, before I kind of set off, I was like, oh, man, I've just spent like five years

building this and now I'm gonna fuck off like, so the mental part of that was, was actually quite

difficult, which, again, you don't want to totally admit that to people, because you're like, it's, it's

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

an exciting thing. But also, when you've built something else, you're not going to just throw that

away, or just leave someone else in, like in the lurch (371).

Fiona’s experience is unique within the sample due to her focus on a musical friendship rather

than a relationship with audience members or music industry personnel. In the extract she describes the

“mental” conflict between being offered a special performance opportunity and the resulting impact this

would have on her studio partner. She articulates this mental dilemma through describing the process of

how she built up a studio business and experienced conflictual thought processes as she prepared to go

on tour.

Such tension, conflict and mental stress are articulated through Fiona’s statement as she

questioned her actions and decisions: “I've just spent like five years building this and now I'm gonna fuck

off”. She provides further insight into this dilemma by stating that “you don't want to totally admit that

to people, because you're like, it's, it's an exciting thing. But also, when you've built something else”

which conveys the potential shame she may have felt towards her studio partner. The extract finishes with

her articulating the impact she feels from experience resembles that of the musicians but with the

additional factor of the relationship being one of a personally supportive nature. The increased tension

expressed could also be interpreted as a fear of loss or abandonment resulting from her musicking choices

as well as her sensitivity to people’s expectations and her desire to avoid disappointing or letting people

down.

This common theme also relates to Ed’s experience when describing his disheartening encounter

involving a publishing deal.

E: My publishing hasn’t quite worked out like I would have hoped and all these things and I

hate to feel like I’m letting people down, but feel like so much that I’m just not in control of,

you know (237).

Above, Ed describes the personal discomfort and difficulty he experienced when potentially

“letting” his publishers “down”. He articulates the unease of “hating” to feel like he has disappointed

people, but he manages to distance himself from any self-blame or responsibility through his strategy of

philosophically acknowledging his lack of agency and control over any outcomes. This emotional

distance is a clear divergence from the other participants. Ed’s extract illustrates how his resignation to

the lack of control enables him to limit any personal responsibility for disappointing others, thus

alleviating some of the pressure experienced by the other participants.

This sub-theme has explored how the musicians experienced a felt sense of pressure from the

need to avoid disappointing or letting people down. This relational pressure ranges from the communal

obligation to audience members described by Bruce and David; Claire’s ambivalent representation of

inclusion; Fiona’s “mental” stress of potentially disappointing close personal friends; and Ed’s financial

pressure to deliver results for his publisher.

5. Discussion

All three themes provide subtle variations on the ways in which professional musicking impacts

the struggle to maintain self-esteem and an ongoing sense of self within the oscillating experiences of

professional musicking. These themes provide a novel and fresh perspective to challenge existing

research by illustrating the impact of the relationships within professional musicking rather than the music

itself or (the often cited) practical factors of the occupational environment.

The initial theme of pride in achievement and successfully challenging personal expectations

indicates the ways in which the musicians experience a sense of pride from their musicking. This pride is

derived both from validating relationships and from personal achievement. The achievement experienced

is further amplified through the way in which the individuals have challenged their own expectations.

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

Theme two illustrates the ways in which the musicians’ sense of value and worth are negatively impacted

through their musicking relationship and the inherent vulnerability within their professional roles. Theme

three encapsulates the ways in which the musicians feel a pressure to avoid letting people down in order

to maintain their sense of value and worth. The study outlines the constant challenge of grappling with a

changing sense of self within the continual shift of the music industry.

Overall, the themes illustrate the possible selves (Schnare et al., 2011) that can emanate from

professional musicking and how these can emotionally destabilise or bolster self-definition. Within the

existing clinical literature, these shifting states of self-worth are commonly associated with a lack of

internal locus of evaluation or struggles with self-esteem (Rogers, 1951). Although feelings of stress,

inadequacy and deficiency are common in the popular music industry (Berg et al., 2022; Raeburn, 1999;

Wills & Cooper, 1988), feelings of pride and bolstered self-worth are heavily neglected, reflecting a

skewed bias towards the negative aspects of professional musicking.

Existing research within the general population or classical music demographic suggests that

musicking can be a source of wellbeing, self-worth and enhanced self-esteem (Ascenso, 2016; 2017;

Perkins & Williamon, 2014). The first theme expands existing research (surrounding classical musicians)

suggesting that a ‘clear sense of self’ is a structural ‘sustainer of wellbeing’ (Ascenso et al., 2017: 65),

thereby providing robust evidence of how popular musicians also experience this elevated sense of self.

Furthermore, feeling pride in their achievements and challenging personal expectations were particularly

important in the context of the diverse background of this particular group of musicians. The sample of

musicians (unintentionally) consisted of under-represented demographics within the music industry in

relation to race, disability, social mobility and gender. Additionally, this study also highlights the

musicians’ struggles with their diminishing sense of self-worth, influenced by the external validation of

musicking experiences. This difficulty in maintaining a stable sense of self is commonly thought to be a

core component in mental health distress, where people judge themselves according to how others

perceive them as being either ‘accepted or wanting’ (Tolan, 2003: 5).

The third theme is closely aligned with this sensitivity towards external opinions, but with

the added pressure to prioritise the needs of others. For example, some of the musicians expressed how

they felt pressure to consistently provide optimal value to their audience, to the extent of putting the

audience’s needs before their own. This sense of obligation towards the paying fanbase emanated from

the musicians’ appreciation of the audience’s continued, loyal commitment towards them as artists, and

being valued as part of their community. This pressure to avoid negatively impacting others was also

apparent in the occupational and music business structure, where psychological conflict was understood

as not wanting to let people down. These examples of shifting states and intrapsychic pressures illustrate

and evidence Small’s description of musicking as a ‘political matter in the widest sense’ (1998: 13), as

musicking relationships and communities offer opportunities for self-learning that are embedded within

the power dynamics of social contexts.

5.1. A new way of looking at musicians

This study explores popular musicians in context and illustrates the positive mental health impact of

professional musicking, offering an alternative lens to other siloed literature surrounding negative mental

health impact. As an integrative psychotherapist (and active musician), my aim was to take a more

holistic, pluralistic perspective when attempting to understand the nuanced lives of musicians,

accommodated through the open concept of musicking and both positive and negative mental health

experiences described by the sample.

A fundamental thread running through this thesis, and my findings in general, is the emphasis

on holistic and integrative perspectives that emerges from the musicians’ account of their experiences

through the study. This provides a response to Small’s criticism that performers and performance are

overlooked in writings about the meaning of music (1998). Through the broader lens of this

Ficek, A. © International Journal of Music, Health, and Wellbeing (Summer 2023)

‘It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do’

transdisciplinary and phenomenological exploration based around musicking, I have given a

comprehensive overview of how the musicians themselves understand their mental health, thereby at once

providing evidence for and developing Small’s concept of musicking. This study questioned the

reductive, one-dimensional, distinctions featuring in other research and instead placed the musicians in

context, generating rich accounts of personal salience.

The findings have also shed light on and moved beyond the reductive polarisation of therapeutic

versus destructive impact, where ‘music-making is therapeutic, but making a career out of music is

destructive’ (Gross & Musgrave, 2016: 12) in this seemingly paradoxical occupational environment

(Ficek, 2016; Musgrave, 2022). It is this macro perspective that enables rich experiences to evidence and

dispute this split narrative, and to challenge the age-old myth of the tortured artist (Schlesinger, 2012,

Spelman, 2016) within the popular musician demographic.

6. Further research

Although the study provides insight into the meaning making and mental health of seven

musicians, it does have several limitations connected with the diversity of the sample. The sample was

representative and appropriate for the study, and included adult, performing, popular musicians, all of

whom earn most of their income from music. It also included mixed gender, age, race, ethnicity and

disability, according to availability at the time. In future studies, this sample could be tightened to make

the participant pool more homogenous. This could include recruiting participants within a tighter age

range, musical status, similar gender, race and ethnicity, where possible. The study also highlighted a

distinctive sense of achievement within the under-represented demographics included in this thesis.

Future studies could develop this area and explore the impact of musicking within under-represented

communities of musicians, such as those who are neurodivergent, gender-diverse or who come from

lower social mobility backgrounds. Future research within this demographic could also focus on

developing a mixed methods study to explore the impact of the presented themes within a larger

population of musicians.

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Mental health issues in Nigeria are pervasive, yet the stigma surrounding them limits open discussions and access to care. Music artists, activists, and therapists have emerged as key advocates, using music as a platform to raise awareness and challenge misconceptions. This study explored the role of Nigerian music and activism in shaping mental health discourse, highlighting their contributions to public awareness and understanding. Additionally, the study examined how music and activism could influence mental health policies in the country. A qualitative approach was used, involving in-depth interviews with seven participants, including Nigerian musicians and therapists engaged in mental health advocacy. Thematic analysis was employed to identify key themes related to mental health awareness, advocacy, and the intersection of music and activism. Findings revealed that while music is a powerful tool for raising awareness and fostering emotional expression, it has had limited impact on policy change. Themes of resilience, inclusivity, and advocacy emerged as significant, showing how music influences public perceptions. However, participants emphasized the need for government involvement to translate public awareness into effective mental health policies. While music has proven effective in generating awareness and reducing stigma, its ability to drive policy changes remains limited.

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People working in the music industry report significantly higher levels of anxiety and depression than the general population, but to date, studies have not explored the differences between professional musicians and those who perform music primarily for recreation. In this study, 254 musicians from 13 countries completed measures of anxiety, depression, and wellbeing as well as answering questions about their professional status, level of success, and income. Across the whole sample, we found that over half had high levels of anxiety, and a third were experiencing depression. We showed that musicians who viewed music as their main career were more likely to have poor mental wellbeing and had significantly higher levels of clinical depression. Status as a solo or lead artist and perceived level of success also significantly predicted higher levels of anxiety and depression, and lower levels of positive wellbeing. We conclude that low mental wellbeing in musicians is the result of working as a professional musician, as opposed to being an inherent trait. Future work should explore underlying beliefs and perceptions of career musicians alongside other key factors, such as health behaviors and social support, with the aim of making specific recommendations to the music industries and educators.

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This paper interrogates two different perspectives on music and wellbeing. The first positions musical practice as being beneficial for emotional wellbeing and mental health, whilst the second positions musical work – building a career as a musician – as potentially detrimental. This apparent paradox matters because the clinical findings which establish a causal link between music and wellbeing are being disembedded from the contexts in which those links are manifesting by charities, social enterprises, advocacy organisations, educational institutions, governments and international bodies, and fuelling normative sociological prescriptions which encourage participation in music making. For those who go on to develop career ambitions, wellbeing outcomes are far less clear. Therefore, a more sophisticated appreciation of the uses of music and its impact on wellbeing is required. This paper provides a more balanced view of the connections between music, wellbeing and health and reflects on how this paradox might be resolved.

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We describe work in progress to conduct a systematic review of research on effects of arts-based programs for mental health in young people. We are at the stage of searching for relevant studies through major databases and screening extant systematic reviews for additional research which meet our inclusion criteria. At this stage, however, concerns have arisen regarding both the quality of existing primary studies and of recently published systematic reviews in this area of arts and health. As a case in point, in this paper we focus on one research report on art therapy with adolescent girls and its inclusion in three systematic reviews. We demonstrate that the reviews fail to undertake a robust critique of the Bazargan and Pakdaman paper and that the paper and reviews are flawed. Drawing on recent criticisms of systematic reviewing, we consider the value of proceeding with our systematic review as initially planned.

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Professional popular musicians are at increased risk of psychological distress, substance use problems, and suicide, yet little evidence is available on effective psychotherapeutic practices to address these issues. This scoping review aims to understand how professional popular musicians perceive, engage with, and respond to mental health interventions. Four databases were searched, garnering a total of 310 articles. Of these, six met inclusion criteria. Four thematic categories were explored: (1) amenability of professional popular musicians to particular therapeutic approaches; (2) attribution of treatment outcomes to tailored approaches; (3) professional popular musicians’ perceived barriers to treatment; and (4) recommendations for treatment approaches. The scoping review supports the importance of considering the characteristics of professional popular musicians as a distinct group with unique well-being needs, challenges, and strengths. There is a clear preference for tailored, affordable, and accessible approaches that consider the uniquities of musicianship and the need to explore the role of nonclinical support, such as friends, family, and industry peers.

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Full-text available

Feb 2021

This article reports data collected from 385 performing arts professionals using the HEartS Professional Survey during the COVID-19 Lockdown 1.0 in the United Kingdom. Study 1 examined characteristics of performing arts professionals’ work and health, and investigated how these relate to standardized measures of wellbeing. Study 2 examined the effects of the lockdown on work and wellbeing in the respondents’ own words. Findings from Study 1 indicate a substantial reduction in work and income. 53% reported financial hardship, 85% reported increased anxiety, and 63% reported being lonelier than before the crisis. 61% sought support on finances while only 45% did so on health and wellbeing. Multiple regression analyses, using the Mental Health Continuum-Short Form, Center for Epidemiologic Studies Depression Scale, Social Connectedness Scale, and Three-Item Loneliness Scale as outcome variables, indicate that perceived financial hardship was associated with lower wellbeing and higher depression and loneliness scores. Higher self-rated health was associated with higher wellbeing and lower depression scores. More physical activity before lockdown was associated with higher wellbeing and social connectedness scores, as well as lower loneliness scores, and an increase in physical activity during lockdown compared with before, as well as older age, were associated with higher wellbeing and social connectedness scores, and lower depression and loneliness scores. Thematic inductive analysis of 341 open responses in Study 2 identified five overarching themes characterizing the effects of Lockdown 1.0: lost or uncertain work and income , including canceled work, financial concerns, and uncertainties for the future; constraints of lockdown working , including challenges of working at home, struggles with online work and skill maintenance, and caring responsibilities; loss and vulnerability , including reduced social connections, lack of support, vulnerability, feelings of loss and grief, and concern for others; detrimental effects on health and wellbeing , including anxiety, low or unstable mood, poorer physical health, and lack of motivation; and professional and personal opportunities , including coping well or living more healthily, more time and less pressure, new possibilities and activities, enhanced social connections, and new skills. Lockdown 1.0 had profound effects on performing arts professionals, but our findings reveal some opportunities and compelling links between positive wellbeing and physical activity.

COVID-19 and the UK Live Music Industry: A Crisis of Spatial Materiality

Article

Full-text available

Nov 2020

For the live music industry, and those who work in it, the COVID-19 outbreak has been predominantly framed as an economic crisis, one in which the economic systems through which revenue is derived from music-based products and practices have been abruptly closed off by a crisis of public health. Using Lefebvre's trialectics of spatiality as a theoretical lens, we will argue that, for live music, the COVID-19 outbreak can be seen as a crisis of spatial materiality. During a time of lockdown and social distancing, spaces of music production (rehearsal spaces, studios) and consumption (venues, nightclubs) have found themselves suddenly unfit for purpose. Drawing upon empirical data from ongoing research projects in Scotland and the Midlands, we will highlight the ways in which COVID-19 has disrupted the spatial practice of music. From there, we will argue that there is a need for new representational spaces of music, and the creation of new forms of musical-spatial practice, appropriating spaces of the domestic and the everyday, and fusing / overlaying them with new cultural meaning and (crucially for musicians) a reconsideration of value by potential consumers. https://www.mast-journal.org

A Comparative Study of Mental Health and Emotional Regulation Between Musicians and Non-Musicians

Conference Paper

Full-text available

Jan 2020

Essentials of interpretative phenomenological analysis.

Book

Jan 2022

Mental health issues among international touring professionals in the music industry

Article

Dec 2021
J PSYCHIATR RES

Music industry touring professionals are generally assumed to be at elevated risk for mental health issues, highlighted by numerous high-profile suicides in recent years. Few studies have explored the prevalence of depression, suicidality and associated factors within this population. This study aims to gain an empirical understanding of the mental health issues among international touring professionals, with a particular focus on risk for depression and suicidality, and to identify potential protective factors. Data were collected between February–March 2020 as part of the Tour Health Research Initiative's Touring Health and Wellness Survey 2020. Using a multidimensional questionnaire with a sample of 1154 international touring professionals (artists and crew members), participants who completed all psychosocial measures (n = 508) demonstrated elevated levels of suicidality, risk for clinical depression, stress, anxiety and burnout. The median depression score for completers matched the recommended cutoff score of 20, which qualified 254 participants as high risk for clinical depression, while 200 (39.4%) demonstrated high scores for suicidality. In ROC curve analyses, all psychosocial measures were significant predictors of high suicidality, with a combined emotional and social measure yielding the highest classification accuracy (80%). Moderate strength linear relations were observed for all pairs of measures. Positive correlations were found among all risk factors (depression, anxiety, stress, and burnout) and these measures yielded negative correlations with the protective factors (mindfulness and the emotional/social measure). Findings suggest that interventions enhancing mindfulness and emotional/social well-being may serve as valuable treatment components for this population.

Psychological Issues and Treatment Strategies in Popular Musicians: A Review, Part 2

Article

Mar 2000

Susan D Raeburn

Part 1 of this review [MPPA 1999;14:171-9] described the overall goals of the paper as follows: to increase the reader’s understanding of what types of common psychological problems popular musicians face; how individual, family, and sociocultural factors interact in the development and maintenance of these problems; and how interventions need to address all of these factors. The ecological transactional model developed by developmental psychologists Cicchetti and Toth was presented as the contextual background for understanding the development of an individual’s psychological resiliency or vulnerability to symptoms. The model posits four interacting levels as crucial to an individual’s “ecology”: the self, the family, the community, and the culture. The first part of this review explored aspects of each of these levels, including occupational risk factors as characteristic of the community and culture of popular musicians. Part 1 ended with a brief discussion of the creative process, similarly from an interactive systems perspective.

'It was great. I felt like I connected with an audience and I sometimes find that quite a difficult thing to do'. Professional popular musicians' experiences of pride, insecurity and pressure in their musicking environment

Abstract and Figures

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