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The avoided and excluded knowns: people ageing without children/family.

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Robin Hadley at Manchester Metropolitan University
Robin Hadley
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Abstract

In the Western world, childlessness affects one in four men and one in five women. In the UK, the numbers of people ageing without children aged over 65 years is projected to rise to above 2 million by 2030. Although precarity in ageing is increasingly recognised in academia, people ageing without children are not acknowledged as a group and dismissed as a ‘non-category’ (1, 2). This means they are in danger of being invisible to academia, policymakers and other institutional stakeholders
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1
Blog #2 for Medium published 25-05-2023
The avoided and excluded knowns: people ageing without children/family.
In the Western world, childlessness affects one in four men and one in five women. In the
UK the numbers of people ageing without children aged over 65 years is projected to rise to
above 2 million by 2030. Although precarity in ageing is increasingly recognised in academia,
people ageing without children are not acknowledged as a group and dismissed as a ‘non-
category’ (1, 2). This means they are in danger of being invisible to academia, policymakers
and other institutional stakeholders.
‘If you are not counted, you don’t count’ has become a mainstream saying: few
acknowledge that it was written by Horace Sheffield (3) to encourage the African American
electorate to vote. More recently, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, intersex and
asexual (LGBTQIA) campaigners in America highlighted the importance of completing the
census because of the link to state funding of food, health and housing support (4). The
LGBTQIA community have high rates of accommodation precarity, homelessness and
poverty (4) and more likely to be childless – especially gay men(5). Taken in hand with a
couple of popular management mantra’s, ‘If you can’t measure it, you can’t manage it’ and
‘What gets measured gets managed' (6) highlights the importance of being ‘counted.’ This
leads to the question who gets counted? When it comes to measuring groups who decides
who is included and who is excluded? Who is structurally excluded and/or made invisible?
Does this matter? One such group is those ageing without children.
The global trend of an increasingly ageing populations has significant implications for both
individuals and institutions alike given the demand for care increases in later life (1, 7).
Moreover, there is an increasing ‘care gap’ where demand has outstripped supply – and this
2
gap is set to increase in the future. At the same time in many parts of the United Kingdom
(UK) there has been increased reliance on informal support as formal care services funding
have been cut. This has led to both the raising of the entry criteria for statutory support and
a reduction in the provision of low level support. Similarly, many voluntary organisations
funding has reduced or ended meaning that advocacy and home based services have been
withdrawn. For older people, the majority of unpaid care is carried out by adult children
and/or spouses or partners. The social health and care system in the UK is almost
completely reliant on family members to perform the bulk of adult informal care. As stated
in the report by the House of Lords Committee on Adult Social Care (8) ‘“Gloriously ordinary
life’’: spotlight on adult social care’ it is the adult childless who are viewed as available to
care for their older parents and/or other family members.
In the UK there is a significant gap in the population data which public bodies base current
and future policy (9). The Office for National Statistics (ONS) published two reports on the
increase in the age of mothers’ first birth (10) and a predicted tripling in the number of older
childless women by 2045 (11). It is important to realise that these reports are based on the
mother’s fertility data given at birth registration and thus does not account for those who
are childless for other reasons. For example, people may be ‘functionally childless ‘by-
choice’ ‘by-circumstance’ ‘by familial disruption’ ‘by estrangement’ ‘chosen’ and parents
may be ‘functionally childless’ (through bereavement, estrangement, geographical absence,
miscarriage and stillbirth). Importantly, the omission of people ageing without children’s
statistics from the datasets which current and future policy and practice are based, means
health and care services at all levels will be under increased pressure from a known but
uncounted and structurally excluded population. In both reports there are no equivalent
statistics on men. This is because the number of children a father has is not collected at the
3
registration of a birth (see above). It is essential to note the impreciseness of the data on
men compared to the accurate data on women and the failure to acknowledge there are
more childless men than childless women. Parity in data collection is essential for both
institutions and individuals alike.
The issue for those ageing without children/family is if they require support, they do not
have the safety net of family. Consequently, many of those ageing without children/family
are concerned on who will care for them when they need support (2, 9, 12, 13, 14).
Apprehensions include:
Financial implications: you may not have anyone to help you access support and you may
need to rely on your own financial resources.
Social support: you may become more reliant on others for emotional and physical support.
Consequently, the size and dynamics of your familial and social network may become critical
to your quality of life. You may need to draw on paid carers and/or rely on institutional
services.
Health and Care: paucity of support may mean you do not access health and/or care services
(or those services do not connect with you). For example, if you are admitted into
hospital/care you may have concerns about pets and property.
Death: you may be worried about your funeral arrangements and if your wishes will be
carried out (15).
Legacy: your family name may end and heirlooms, family stories and traditions are not
passed on.
4
As the ONS reports emphasize, childlessness has serious implications for the provision of
services across all ages - particularly for older people who need access to support as they
age. Because people without children details are excluded, we will not know how many lack
access to care and/or support from family members.
Author biography: Dr Robin A Hadley
Robin is an Associate Lecturer at Manchester Metropolitan University, an Early Career
Researcher and founder member of the campaign group Ageing Without Children. His sole-
authored auto/biographical book, 'How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness
a Life Course Disrupted,' (New York, Berghahn Books) has won critical acclaim.
Robin has published several academic papers and contributed chapters in edited books and
his research has been widely published in international and national media.
1. Hadley RA. How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness - a Life Course
Disrupted. New York: Berghahn Books; 2021.
2. Hadley RA. Deconstructing Dad. In: Barry JA, Kingerlee R, Seager M, Sullivan L,
editors. The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health. Cham: Palgrave
Macmillan; 2019. p. 47-66.
3. Sheffield H. As I See It: If You don't get counted, you don't really count. Michigan
Chronicle. 1979 24 February 1979.
4. Wong T, Cahil S. The 2020 Census: If you aren’t counted, we don’t count. Boston,
MA: The Fenway Institute at Fenway Health; 2020 [Available from:
https://fenwayhealth.org/the-2020-census-if-you-arent-counted-we-dont-count/.
5. Hadley RA. Ageing Without Children, gender and social justice. In: Westwood S,
editor. Ageing, Diversity and Equality: Social justice perspectives. Abingdon: Routledge;
2018. p. 66-81.
6. Buerkli D. Medium [Internet]. Medium.com: Centre for Public Impact. 2019. [cited
2023]. Available from: https://medium.com/centre-for-public-impact/what-gets-measured-
gets-managed-its-wrong-and-drucker-never-said-it-fe95886d3df6.
7. Hadley RA. Ageing without children. In: Tetley J, Cox N, Jack K, Witham G, editors.
Nursing Older People at a Glance. Chichester, UK: John Wiley & Sons; 2018. p. 76-7.
5
8. House of Lords Select Committee on Adult Social Care. A “gloriously ordinary life’’:
spotlight on adult social care. In: the House of Lords, editor. London: the House of Lords;
2022. p. 150.
9. Hadley RA. ‘It's most of my life – going to the pub or the group’: the social networks
of involuntarily childless older men. Ageing and Society. 2021;41(1):51-76.
10. Office for National Statistics. Childbearing for women born in different years,
England and Wales: 2020. London: Office for National Statistics; 2022.
11. Office for National Statistics. Living longer: implications of childlessness among
tomorrow's older population. London: Office for National Statistics; 2020. p. 1-14.
12. Hadley RA. Ageing Issues [Internet]. London: British Society of Gerontology. 2023.
Available from: https://ageingissues.wordpress.com/2023/02/24/the-reflective-call-of-
carers-ageing-without-children-and-or-family-who-will-be-there-for-me-when-i-need-it/.
13. Hadley RA. “I’m missing out and I think I have something to give”: experiences of
older involuntarily childless men. Working with Older People. 2018;22(2):83-92.
14. Beth Johnson Foundation/Ageing Without Children. Our Voices. London: Beth
Johnson Foundation & Ageing Without Children; 2016 April 2016.
15. Lyons A, Winter L. We All Know how this Ends: Lessons about Life and Living from
Working with Death and Dying. London: GREEN TREE, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc; 2021. 304
p.
For those who cannot access the papers behind publishers’ paywalls some pre-
publication draft copies are available via the Manchester Metropolitan
University Research Repository and my SSRN page ( formerly known as Social
Science Research Network).
... In the words of Robin Hadley (2023), older adults without family caregivers often constitute a "non-category", which means that "they are in danger of being invisible to academia, policymakers and other institutional stakeholders". Indeed, only in recent years has research started to treat ageing without family caregivers as a topic worth researching in and of itself instead of merely "subsuming" the target group in studies about ageing alone, living alone ("solo living"), loneliness, social isolation, or social support networks in old age, among other things (see, e.g., Gale et al., 2018;Reher & Requena, 2018;Suanet et al., 2019). ...
Ageing Without Family Caregivers: A Heuristic for Understanding and Approaching a Complex Phenomenon
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This article aims to contribute to a better understanding of the phenomenon of ageing without family caregivers. In proposing an empirically based heuristic, it not only highlights the heterogeneity of the target group and their lived realties, but also lays the foundations for identifying potential fields of action. Qualitative research for this article was carried out in five locations in Switzerland. Guided by the theoretical foundations of the Capability Approach, we combined the subjective perspectives of older adults without family caregivers (aged 72-99) with the framework conditions determining their lives in old age to develop a qualitative typology. This typology provides an important basis for identifying needs for action in the fields of old-age policy and work with older people not only in the present, but also in view of the future. As the typology shows, older adults without family caregivers are particularly at risk of lacking psychosocial care which, in neoliberal care regimes, is still considered the responsibility of close family members. We conclude with reflections on good psychosocial care and how the target group can be enabled to lead a good and self-determined life.
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How is a man supposed to be a man? Male childlessness a Life Course Disrupted
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Full-text available
  • Sep 2021
The global trend of declining fertility rates and an increasingly ageing population has serious implications for individuals and institutions alike. Childless men are mostly excluded from ageing, social science and reproduction scholarship and almost completely absent from most national statistics. This unique book examines the lived experiences of a hidden and disenfranchised population: men who wanted to be fathers. It explores the complex intersections that influence childlessness over the life course. REVIEWS “I think this is an excellent piece of scholarship that covers an often unspoken topic in a sensitive, novel and comprehensive way. In this sense, it contributes important new knowledge to an area by considering it from a different viewpoint – most notably moving beyond a simple biomedical view or an experiential view of younger men and infertility.” • Steve Robertson, University of Sheffield “This is an important piece of work that addresses areas of masculinity, sexuality, life and an exploration of lived lives through research that have previously been underrepresented in the academic and public press.” • Josephine Tetley, Manchester Metropolitan University
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“I'm missing out and I think I have something to give”: Experiences of older involuntarily childless men
Article
Full-text available
  • Oct 2017
Purpose The purpose of this paper is to extensively report the implications of the global trend of declining fertility rates and an increasingly ageing population. The experiences of childless men are mostly absent from gerontological, psychological, reproduction, and sociological, research. These disciplines have mainly focussed on family formation and practices, whilst the fertility intentions, history, and experience of men have been overlooked. Not fulfilling the dominant social status of parenthood provides a significant challenge to both individual and cultural identity. Distress levels in both infertile men and women have been recorded as high as those with grave medical conditions. Design/methodology/approach The aim of this paper is to provide some insight into the affect involuntarily childless has on the lives of older men. This auto/biographical qualitative study used a pluralistic framework drawn from the biographical, feminist, gerontological, and life course approaches. Data were gathered from in-depth semi-structured biographical interviews with 14 self-defined involuntary men aged between 49 and 82 years from across the UK. A broad thematic analysis highlighted the complex intersections between involuntary childlessness and agency, biology, relationships, and socio-cultural structures. Findings Diverse elements affected the men’s involuntary childlessness: upbringing, economics, timing of events, interpersonal skills, sexual orientation, partner selection, relationship formation and dissolution, bereavement, and the assumption of fertility. The importance of relationship quality was highlighted for all the men: with and without partners. Quality of life was affected by health, relationships, and social networks. Awareness of “outsiderness” and a fear of being viewed a paedophile were widely reported. Research limitations/implications This is a study based on a small self-selecting “fortuitous” sample. Consequently care should be taken in applying the findings to the wider population. Originality/value Health and social care policy, practice and research have tended to focus on family and women. The ageing childless are absent and excluded from policy, practice, and research. Recognition of those ageing without children or family is urgent given that it is predicted that there will be over two million childless people aged 65 and over by 2030 (approximately 25 per cent of the 65 and over population). The consequences for health and social care of individuals and organisations are catastrophic if this does not happen.
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The Palgrave Handbook of Male Psychology and Mental Health
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  • Jan 2019
This Handbook represents the first concerted effort to understand male mental health in a way that facilitates a positive step forward in both theory and treatment. An alarming number of men experience serious mental health issues, as demonstrated by high rates of suicide and violent offending. Despite these problems, the study of male psychology has either been overlooked, or viewed as a problem of defective masculinity. This handbook brings together experts from across the world to discuss men’s mental health, from prenatal development, through childhood, adolescence, and fatherhood. Men and masculinity are explored from multiple perspectives including evolutionary, cross-cultural, cognitive, biological, developmental, and existential viewpoints, with a focus on practical suggestions and demonstrations of successful clinical work with men. Throughout, chapters question existing models of understanding and treating men’s mental health and explore new approaches, theories and interventions. This definitive handbook encapsulates a new wave of positive theory and practice in the field of male psychology and will be of great value to professionals, academics, and those working with males through the lifespan in any sector related to male mental health and wellbeing. John Barry is a chartered psychologist and Associate Fellow of the British Psychological Society, Honorary Lecturer in Psychology at University College London, UK. He is co-founder of the Male Psychology Network, and the Male Psychology Section of the British Psychological Society. Roger Kingerlee is a consultant clinical psychologist and EMDR consultant at the Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust. Dr Kingerlee specialises in male and veteran psychologies and complex trauma. He is co-writer of the Veterans' Stabilisation Programme with The Walnut Tree Project, and a member of the Male Psychology Network. Martin Seager is a consultant clinical psychologist with the UK charity Change, Grow, Live. He spent over 30 years as a senior clinician, supervisor and manager in the NHS. He is a writer, lecturer, broadcaster and activist in the mental health field and co-founder of the Male Psychology Network, and the Male Psychology Section of the British Psychological Society. Luke Sullivan is a clinical psychologist. He is the founder of Men’s Minds Matter, and also works for South London and Maudsley NHS Foundation Trust, specialising in psychological crisis interventions for people at risk of suicide. He is a committee member of the National Suicide Prevention Alliance and co-founder of the BPS Male Psychology Section.
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As I See It: If You don't get counted, you don't really count. Michigan Chronicle
  • Jan 1979
  • H Sheffield
Sheffield H. As I See It: If You don't get counted, you don't really count. Michigan Chronicle. 1979 24 February 1979.
Census: If you aren't counted, we don't count
  • Jan 2020
  • T Wong
  • Cahil S The
Wong T, Cahil S. The 2020 Census: If you aren't counted, we don't count. Boston, MA: The Fenway Institute at Fenway Health; 2020 [Available from: https://fenwayhealth.org/the-2020-census-if-you-arent-counted-we-dont-count/.
Ageing, Diversity and Equality: Social justice perspectives
  • R A Hadley
Hadley RA. Ageing Without Children, gender and social justice. In: Westwood S, editor. Ageing, Diversity and Equality: Social justice perspectives. Abingdon: Routledge;
Nursing Older People at a Glance
  • Jan 2018
  • 76-77
  • R A Hadley
  • J Tetley
  • N Cox
  • K Jack
  • G Witham
Hadley RA. Ageing without children. In: Tetley J, Cox N, Jack K, Witham G, editors. Nursing Older People at a Glance. Chichester, UK: John Wiley & Sons; 2018. p. 76-7.
London: British Society of Gerontology
  • Jan 2023
  • R A Hadley
Hadley RA. Ageing Issues [Internet]. London: British Society of Gerontology. 2023. Available from: https://ageingissues.wordpress.com/2023/02/24/the-reflective-call-ofcarers-ageing-without-children-and-or-family-who-will-be-there-for-me-when-i-need-it/.
We All Know how this Ends: Lessons about Life and Living from Working with Death and Dying. London: GREEN TREE
  • Jan 2021
  • A Lyons
  • L Winter
Lyons A, Winter L. We All Know how this Ends: Lessons about Life and Living from Working with Death and Dying. London: GREEN TREE, Bloomsbury Publishing Plc; 2021. 304 p.