Available via license: CC BY 4.0
Content may be subject to copyright.
Review
Parental Triangulation in Separated and Divorced
Families: Causes and Impact on the Intergenerational
Parent-Child Conflict
Alessandra Salerno *a, Iolanda Raciti a, Monica Tosto a and Aluette Merenda a
a Department of Psychology, Educational Science and Human Movement, University of Palermo, Italy;
* Correspondence: Author: Alessandra Salerno, University of Palermo, Department of Psychology,
Educational Science and Human Movement, Viale delle Scienze - edificio 15, 90128 Palermo – ITALY e-
mail: alessandra.salerno@unipa.it;
Abstract: The triangulation process represents a violation of the boundary between parental and
child relational subsystems which, in turn, affects family dynamics and relationships. The paper,
with distinct reference to marital conflict and divorced couples, describes the main causes of the
triangulation process and its impact on children (and adolescents) as significant third participants
within the parental conflict. Besides, it focuses on long-term consequences associated with
triangulation process to parental conflict exposure, that can adversely affect the well-being of
children during their life-cycle, and even into adulthood. A data-search was carried out for articles
to be included in the review and articles were retrieved from different electronic databases (first:
Scopus and Web of Science, then: PsychINFO, Google Scholar, EBSCO and ScienceDirect,). After
having initially considered 152 articles, 58 studies were selected for this research. A qualitative
analysis was conducted on selected studies, focusing on: (1) different types of triangulation
commonly used in intergenerational family relationships; (2) an updated summary of the research
around the impact of triangulation on the well-being of children and the parent-child conflict; and
(3) the main characteristics of successful intervention of preventative and psychotherapeutic
treatments. In conclusion, the results, examining the long-term effects of the triangulation process,
highlight the developmental paths of children that are more exposed and at risk, and focuses on the
importance of preventing the intergenerational transmission of marital conflict, as a way to reduce
mental health costs and to improve the well-being of children and families who are all involved in
these conflicting and destructive dynamics.
Keywords: parental triangulation; marital conflict; coparenting; adolescent; intergenerational
family bond; divorced couples
1. Introduction
The ability to dissolve the marital relationship at any time, on a legislative and non-legislative
level, has profoundly changed the perception and value of the family today. Consequently, the idea
of parental responsibility as well as the actual act of parenting itself has evolved too [1]. Frequent
marital breakups have led, over time, to an increase in conflict between partners, regarding not only
the period of the couple’s union and separation, but above all the phases following it. In other words,
separation and divorce are not just about moving away from each other as partners, but rather
involving and disrupting a much wider “community of subjects”, including children and family
members [2].
It is significant considering how the physical and psychological environment of the family
system, even the extended one, is deeply modified in terms of emotions, feelings, habits, lifestyle and
routine, as well as personal and financial well-being [3]. Particularly for children, a parental
separation represents a moment of significant desperation, because it involves an inevitable change
in the relationship with their primary reference figures; as well as a re-organisation of the mental
representation of these same figures, linked to the new relational dynamics that are created within
Disclaimer/Publisher’s Note: The statements, opinions, and data contained in all publications are solely those of the individual author(s) and
contributor(s) and not of MDPI and/or the editor(s). MDPI and/or the editor(s) disclaim responsibility for any injury to people or property resulting
from any ideas, methods, instructions, or products referred to in the content.
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
© 2023 by the author(s). Distributed under a Creative Commons CC BY license.
the family. However, research and longitudinal studies have led several Authors to agree that the
most destructive consequences for children are not so much related to the separation itself, but rather
to the incessant conflict that involves an increase in psychological and behavioural problems, somatic
and psychosomatic symptoms, poor academic performance and low self-esteem [4; 5; 6].
Predominantly, adequate support and constant reassurance allow children of separated couples
to return to an adequate development model. Specifically, there are two factors that appear to have a
crucial influence on children’s adaptation to their parents’ separation: firstly, continuous and positive
contact with the non-custodial parent and, secondly, a good level of communication between the
child and both his parents [7]. In the event that these two factors are not present, it is easy and
recurrent that one or both of the ex partners, failing to use adequate maturity and awareness of their
marital dynamics, put the children against each other parent, thus allowing “male versus female”
pathological alliances to be created, or “a mother versus her son, against the father and her daughter”
[8]. These pathological alliances can accentuate the suffering and discomfort of children who,
sometimes, tend to feed a pathological vicious circle of aggression, anger and instability within the
family and social environment. In the long term, this vicious circle could become increasingly
destructive and uncontrollable [8].
By virtue of this, this literature review also aims to identify what links the dysfunctional
configurations of triangulation in the context of conflict between spouses and hostile separations, and
with the conflict between parents and children as a direct effect of the first [9].
From a longitudinal perspective that is based on what has just been stated, it is plausible,
therefore, to think that generations born of hostile separations and divorces, whose sense of innate
stability with respect to the marriage has been deeply damaged by family experience, will be
influenced by all this conflict in the creation of their future relationships to the point of making them
fragile and evanescent [10].
In conclusion, we can say that hostile separations represent a potentially pathogenic factor for
the life of families, which could affect the mental health of their members. The well-being of families
appears to be influenced by separations and/or divorces in relation to three factors: the level of
conflict, the triangulation of children and the individual vulnerability of all family members [11].
Prevention programs to reduce conflict, divorce education, mediation and family therapy are
identified as successful interventions, able to stimulate the bringing into play of important protective
factors which enable families to go through painful and conflicting separation processes, without
irreparably damaging the life cycle of the families themselves and, above all, the developmental paths
that await the children of separated couples.
2. Method
2.1. Sources and Search Procedure
A data-search was carried out in different electronic databases (Scopus and Web of Science, plus:
PsychINFO, Google Scholar, EBSCO and ScienceDirect,) for articles to be included in the review.
The search terms were «parental triangulation» in the title, or in the abstract or in the keywords;
«marital conflict», «parenting and coparenting in adolescence», «divorced couples»,
«intergenerational family bond» in the keywords. Search terms were linked with the Boolean
operators “AND, OR” to properly identify articles.
We did not use publishing date limiters, so the search results ranged from the earliest relevant
papers; more specifically the first article was published in 1973 and the last one that we revised was
published in 2021, so that the publication dates of the articles ranged from 1973 to 2021. The searches
began 10th June 2021 and finish 16th December 2021.
The search produced a total of 152 articles, of which 134 items were returned by Scopus and 18
by Web of Science.
2.2. Eligibility Criteria and Selection Process
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
To be eligible for inclusion in this review, the articles had to be: (1) published in peer-reviewed
journals; (2) published in the English language; (3) studies that analysed the phenomenon of parental
triangulation and different variables involved in marital conflict; (4) studies with a focus on children
and early adolescents’ well being in divorced families and the impact of marital conflict; (5) studies
with focus on prevention programs to reduce conflict, improving divorce mediation and family
therapy as successful interventions. In particular, these last two criteria have been chosen because
there is a wide agreement on a higher tendency to examine the impact of parental triangulation in
children and especially during adolescence (and young adulthood), than during adult life; as a
consequence, children and adolescents are more vulnerable to parental conflict exposure and may
show higher risk for negative outcomes. Moreover, since children and adolescents are still developing
they may be considered as having less protective factors than adults, especially toward relational
behaviours and to self-representation; the long-term effects of the triangulation process, besides,
highlight the developmental paths of children as they are more exposed and at risk, and focuses on
the importance of preventing the intergenerational transmission of conflict, as a way to reduce mental
health costs and to improve the well-being of children and families who are all involved in these
conflicting dynamics.
All the articles were exported to the bibliographic manager – we relied on the Mendeley tool –
and duplicates were eliminated. The data were then gathered in an Excel file, reporting for each
publication the following: authors, year of publication, title, journal, and DOIs; we also performed an
initial screening. After the elimination of duplicates, 152 abstracts were screened. We excluded
records if the main topic was not in line with the aims of this review.
The first selection was carried out by reading the titles and abstracts and then choosing the
studies that seemed potentially interesting. On the basis of these criteria, articles not in English (26)
and articles published in peer-reviewed journals (34) were excluded. From the remaining 92 articles,
theoretical work, reviews and meta-analytical studies have been eliminated (24), reducing to 68
empirical research articles. These excluded the methodological and intervention proposals (10),
which nevertheless served as a basis for drawing up the conclusions of this review, which refer to the
intervention programmes considered most effective. Subsequently, 58 research articles were retained
for full-text screening. The review of the full texts, applying our exclusion and inclusion criteria,
supported the decision to retain 26 articles, included in the first part of the review, in order to
investigate the relationship between marital conflict and the adaptation of children, also on the basis
of emotional distress symptoms (19) and defer the data according to the age of the children and the
specific type of marital conflict (7). Moreover, for the second part of the review, 32 articles were
evaluated, 10 of which were included to analyse the relationship between the combined effects of
triangulation and attachment and the presence of internalizing problems, during child development.
3. Results
3.1. Styles of Conflict: Constructive and Destructive Marital Conflict
When we talk about conflict and its implications and consequences, within family systems and
relationships and especially between couples and between parents and children, it is useful to
distinguish first of all between constructive conflict and destructive conflict. In the first case, we refer to
a process of negotiation, almost of collaboration, in which the two partners verbalise and define their
position on something, with the mutual aim of opposing the other; in most cases, a constructive
conflict, especially in its resolution, turns out to be satisfactory to both sides. What differentiates this
type of conflict from the destructive one pertains to the level of attitudes and feelings: the process of
destructive conflict is in fact often characterised by coercion and physical and/or verbal threats that
can degenerate to the point of going beyond the problem of the here and now, and accentuate or
generalise other issues for the couple; in this case, and for the most part, not only is a resolution not
reached, but at the end the result will be unsatisfactory for both partners [12; See Fig.1].
As already mentioned, the exposure to marital conflict has significant implications especially for
children who can more often show developmental difficulties and a high risk of adaptation problems,
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
including impulsivity and anger, behaviour disorders, and anxiety and depressive symptoms [13; 14;
15]. Traditionally, researchers have focused on the relationship between the frequency of marital
conflict and the adaptation of children [16].
More recently, however, several studies started to highlight how the parental conflict also plays
a key role in determining the emotional and behavioural reactions of children, considering that
previous research has been unable to determine how parental marital conflict, divorce, and children's
long-term outcomes are related and in particular that the consequences of parental divorce depend
on parental marital conflict prior to divorce. [4; 5; 6; 8; 12; 17]. In line with these results, inside high-
conflict families, children have higher levels of well-being as young adults if their parents divorced
than if they stayed together. But in low-conflict families, children have higher levels of well-being if
their parents stayed together than if they divorced. In marriages that do not end in divorce, parental
marital conflict is negatively associated with the well-being of offspring. Specifically, the constructive
conflict arouses positive emotional reactions in children; on the contrary, destructive conflict brings
out dysregulated emotions and behaviours, such as: anger and sadness [18]. In addition, the
observation of a constructive marital conflict on the part of children enables them to learn adequate
problem-solving skills, effective ways of communicating and greater positivity in social relationships
[19; 20].
Constructive and Destructive Marital Conflict
Figure 1. Relationship between Costructive and Desstructive Marital Conflict and Children's
Adaptation.
Figure 1. Relationship between Constructive and Destructive Marital Conflict and Children’s
Adaptation
3.2. Relationship between Constructive and Destructive Marital Conflict and Children and Adolescents’
Adaptation
In line with these results, Buehler and Welsh [21] also pointed out that passively witnessing
marital conflict poses a high risk for adolescents and children in the development of dysfunctional
and psychologically destructive beliefs, such as defining themselves as the cause of the conflict itself,
with serious consequences for guilt. It seems that taking a direct part in the parental conflict has a
positive meaning for adolescent children, as when they participate they act as mediators which in
turn helps with the reduction of externalising symptoms. Moreover, those partners who appear to be
satisfied with the couple’s relationship and who, despite the conflict, feel they are receiving support
from the partner, tend to be more available and sensitive to their children [22; see Fig. 1]. On the
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
contrary, those couples who are unhappy and suffering from destructive conflict tend to lack
emotional availability and are less sensitive to their children’s needs [23].
In a study by Davies, Myes and Cummings [24] based on the conflicting interactions between
marital parties and the emotional tone characterising the latter, we wanted to investigate how much
and what had changed, specifically with respect to the perception and emotional activation of
children. A sample of 48 children, divided into two different age groups (7-9 years and 13-15 years)
and equally distributed according to sex, were shown several scenarios and resolutions of marital
conflict. The results of their study allowed us to understand how, regardless of age, an adult’s ability
to resolve conflict and to make peace is reflected in the most positive behaviours in children, and
based on emotional security. A failure to resolve the conflict, on the other hand, produced more
negative responses in terms of insecurity, fear, anger and sadness. Moreover, if in this second case
the general tendency of the children was to want to intervene in the conflict to help the adult to
resolve it, in the first case this tendency to get involved or to propose solutions turned out to be almost
completely curbed. Particularly noteworthy is also an implication regarding the adolescent subgroup
of this study: during adolescence, a more sophisticated understanding of the psychological causes
and consequences of conflict is observed, compared to younger children, as adolescents have
reported slightly greater impulses to intervene in adult problems, making intergenerational
coalitions with and against one parent. Finally, with regard to gender differences, it emerged that
boys are generally more likely than girls to propose instrumental strategies aimed at repairing conflict
[24].
A further difference between the emotional reactions to marital conflict by younger children and
adolescents is their assessment and interpretation of the conflict itself. In this regard, Grych and
Fincham [25] have highlighted how younger children tend to make an initial conflict assessment from
what they see when witnessing the parental conflict, focusing on how dangerous or threatening this
may be to them. When, at this assessment, the conflict turns out to be “harmless” to them, they turn
their attention elsewhere; conversely, a second evaluation process starts to determine the causes and
responsibilities of the conflict, trying to deal with it personally. The tendency of younger children is,
in fact, also to consider themselves responsible for the conflict between parents, and this
interpretation can undermine their self-esteem. The case of the adolescent is different, as adolescents
are better able to understand the causal role of their parents and the effects of conflict between them.
In this regard, Franke’s study [26] highlights the significant sense of guilt experienced by school-
age children towards “less successful parent”, within the dynamic of conflict. In this case, in fact, the
child held himself responsible for the possible separation of parents and attributed the causes of this
separation in particular to his filial and childish qualities. At a later stage of development, the same
Author [26] refers instead to reactions of sadness, anger, false maturity and denial. Finally, from the
age of 12 and above, preteens and adolescents would tend to take on adult roles or reach a premature
level of empowerment that would lead to an early departure from home. Furthermore, at this stage
of development, children would be loyal to one or both parents, offering them emotional support or
striving to protect younger siblings [26].
3.3. Relationship between 5 different processes of Conflict and Children and Adolescents’ Adaptation
In addition to the distinction between the two types of constructive and destructive conflict, the
literature analyses five styles or processes of conflict: explicit or overt, hidden, cooperative, avoidant
and withdrawn [27; 28]. Considering the aims of this paper, it’s important to give particular
consideration to the first two processes. The explicit or overt conflict is characterised by behaviour of
contempt, screams, insults, threats and sometimes even physical violence. The hidden conflict, on the
other hand, has to do with a level of emotionality and hostile behaviour that is reflected in a passive-
aggressive manner, and in the implementation of triangulation mechanisms towards children. A
study by Bradford, LaToya and Barber [9], which starts with the hypothesis of the existence of a direct
relationship between the overt or hidden marital conflict, and with the conflict between parents and
children and the appearance of a symptomatology in the latter, especially in adolescence, has
highlighted a correlation between overt marital conflict and the presence of externalising behaviours
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
both in adolescents and children. This association can be justified by the fact that young people, when
observing the conflict between parents, can imitate their maladaptive and aggressive behaviours,
exposing themselves to the risk of antisocial behaviour. These findings are already confirmed in
another study [28] that shows a strong link between interparental conflict, substance use and
adolescent academic performance. It has been shown that the perception of feeling constantly
threatened and unsafe within the home, due to conflict between parents, exposes adolescent children
to a high risk of alcohol and cigarette consumption from 12 years of age and, given the precocity, this
can turn into substance abuse in the following years. McCauley’s study [28] showed that high levels
of marital conflict put adolescents at risk of declining academic achievement and poorer overall
academic adaptation. In this regard, numerous research projects [29; 30; 31] have already focused on
the correlation between marital conflict and low levels of student achievement. The sense of
perceived threat by the adolescent can undermine the functioning of these domains: maintaining
attention and commitment to schoolwork, the sense of social belonging with teachers and peers, and
academic performance in general [31; 32; 33]. Furthermore, when explicit conflict becomes the
recurrent and normative process, adolescents can become aggressive with their peers or younger
siblings [34] or, consistent with the authors’ assumptions [9], also with their parents. Similarly,
children who witness hidden conflict between their parents are more likely to develop internalised
behaviours, mainly linked to depressive symptoms [21]. The latter suggests how much emotional
tension within the home is reflected in high levels of guilt and emotional distress in adolescents [35].
Hidden conflict between two partners, in turn, is also a symptom of high levels of marital
dissatisfaction and, consequently, depressive symptoms in adolescents or children [36]. The study [9]
also highlighted that antisocial behaviour was more common in adolescent males, while depressive
symptoms were more common in female adolescents. In other words, the significant correlation
between the marital conflict and the parent-child conflict highlights how the conflict between the two
partners compromises their ability to be sensitive to the needs of their children, and easily triggers
more frequent disputes with them [9].
Another recent study [37] has clarified and demonstrated the relationship between triangulation
as a consequence of marital conflict and depressive symptoms during early adolescence, although
this is mediated by certain protective factors that reduce their occurrence, such as [37]: self-acceptance
or positive self-evaluation; satisfaction in relationships with peers or with other significant adults
beyond parents; personal growth, or a continuity in the development of one’s identity as a person.
Even the DSM-5 [38] introduced, in the section on “Other conditions that may be the subject of
clinical attention”, the Child affected by Parental Relationship Distress" (CAPRD), with the aim of
considering the possibility of children developing behavioural, cognitive, affective and physical
symptoms in relation to the distress experienced in observing high levels of parental conflict [39].
Consistent with the above, several studies [40] dedicated to the development of mental health
problems in children and adolescents have confirmed how these are influenced by the so-called
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE), that include exposure to interparental conflict and parental
divorce.
Canevelli and Lucardi [41] focused their attention on the connection between the different types
of marital conflict, regarding the antecedent, contemporary and consequent period of separation, and
the behaviours and roles that children are “forced” to assume. In these different situations, the
parents, who are unaware and focusing on dealing with their own pain, anger and suffering, are
unable to provide support, empathy and appropriately respond to the needs of their children.
Consequently, the children tend to experience a sense of abandonment and loss of a “safe base”,
whilst trying to protect themselves and their parents, assuming particular behaviours as the only way
to express the needs they are not able to translate into words [42; 43]. Among the roles that children
tend to play, we can find: the messenger, or intermediary in communications between parents; the
peacemaker, who reports to each of the parents what the other one wants to hear; the active decision-
maker, who takes the place of the parents in assuming responsibility for difficult decisions; the
substitute partner or substitute parent, even towards younger siblings; and the judge, especially
when he is encouraged to accuse one of the two parents [39]. These roles, within triangular-relational
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
dynamics that involve the mother, father and children, if prolonged over time, tend to trigger
dysfunctional processes like those Haley and Hoffman [44] called “perverted triangle” and Minuchin
[45] called the “rigid triad”. In the first configuration of the coalition, one of the parents allies with
the child against the other parent; in the triangulation, the child is in between two parents who are
both trying to force the child to side with each of them; and, finally, in the deviation, children can
express their discomfort related to the parental conflict through symptomatic manifestations. The
common denominator of these dysfunctional relational dynamics is none other than the violation of
confinement and interparental subsystems, which, consequently leads to a confusion of roles in
which the characteristics of the child and his psychological differentiation from the parent are denied.
These dynamics trigger not only conditions of entanglement but also reversal, when the expected
parenting roles break down and the child is elevated into an adult-like role and charged with meeting
the parent’s needs [46].
In the context of separations and/or hostile divorces, therefore, a dynamic is frequently observed,
according to which the child establishes a more intense connection with one parent, at the expense of
the other, who feels the relationship with his son is hindered. They, thus, develop real coalitions
between a favourite parent and the child, as an union between two individuals at the expense of a
third [47]. By increasing the conflict, intense conflicts of loyalty are generated in the child, who feels
the weight of the parental dispute feeling responsible: while perceiving a sort of symbiotic bond with
one of the two parents, at the same time, it fears that approaching the latter may result in the betrayal
of the other [48]. A triangulated child is, therefore, a child placed at the centre of a parental conflict
in which he finds himself swinging like a pendulum, now towards one, now towards the other parent
[45]. On the parent’s side, triangulation represents a form of "instrumentalisation" in which the child
is used as an "instrument" or form of extension, replacing the needs of the parent with those of the
child [48].
The case of infantilisation is different: when an adult is being treated like a child, even though
nothing about their mental, physical, social or intellectual wellbeing warrants such treatment. This
third dynamic can be created within the alienated parent-child dyad, characterised by the inability of
the parent to tolerate the growth of the child, who is striving for healthy and functional independence.
In the context of marital conflict, children will feel in charge of their parents well-being, using
infantilisation to meet the needs of their parents [46].
Cigoli, Galimberti and Mombelli [49] spoke of a desperate bond with regard to the maintenance
of the relationship between partners who cannot process their separation when in conflict with each
other. In such cases, parental functions are compromised and cause conflict between the two partners,
with disastrous consequences for the children [50; 51]. In the eighties, Gardner [52] introduced
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS). Today, however, at the centre of scientific debates that
challenge the problematic nature of the definition, leading scholars prefer to exclude the term
“syndrome” and simply call this “Parental Alienation.” PAS is based on the setting of a dysfunctional
relational system that brings into play manipulative dynamics by an alienating parent against an
alienated child, to the detriment of the “target parent”. The more the relationship with the alienating
parent is consolidated, the more the child will risk becoming trapped in a role that will lead him to
internalise parental manipulation, as a result of his own autonomous thinking, and develop a False
Self based on the satisfaction of the desires of others [53; 54]. All this has an impact on the conflicts of
loyalty with parents and, therefore, on the fear of disappointing their expectations or betraying them
[55; 56]. Such dysfunctional relational experiences teach children, especially adolescents, problematic
ways of interacting with significant people that can potentially compromise their relationships with
peers [57]. A longitudinal study [58], which observed 416 families during the adolescence phase of
the children, showed how children tend first of all to report aspects of the parental conflict to their
peers and, at the same time, how much they perceive a sense of rejection or total avoidance on their
part.
3.4. Relationship between Marital Conflict, Triangulation and Attachment
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
A substantial part of literature and research links marital conflict and triangulation dynamics to
attachment theory [58; 59; 60; 61]. It is also assumed that the representation of attachment in the child
and adolescent is formed on the basis of the relationship with each parent and the relationship
between the parents that the child observes and experiences. Specifically, since the processes of
attachment and triangulation begin in the early years of life, the Authors [61] believe that the
combined effects of both processes continue throughout the life cycle and that these unfold
particularly during adolescence. In this period, indeed, a specific personality structure is formed that
remains relatively stable throughout life and that determines not only the level of differentiation of
the teenager from the parent, but also the process of intergenerational transmission of the conflict, of
triangulation and attachment. Of particular note is the observation that high levels of triangulation
within the family of origin reinforce an insecure attachment style and preach the same style in
adulthood. High levels of triangulation and an anxious-ambivalent attachment style also positively
correlate with symptoms of anxiety, emotional dysregulation, instability of self, guilt and/or shame
[61; See Fig.2].
Relationship between Marital Conflict, Triangulation and Attachment
Figure 2. Marital Conflict is a cause of Triangulation. The combinated effects of Triangulation and
Attachment during Childhood compromise the relationship with peer and cause Internalizing
Problems in Adolescence and Adulthood.
4. Discussion
With regard to the parental conflict, it is possible to make some considerations about the risk
that intergenerational transmission of the conflict entails for the adaptation of children.
The impact of conflict on the adaptation of adolescents and, later, of those who have become
adults, is mediated by three variables or different types of assessment that children make whilst
witnessing the conflict between parents: perceived risk, ability to do something for the parents or to
do something to stop any conflict and guilt [62]. These variables, as already mentioned, are also
linked to the externalising and internalising of problems in children [63]. Moreover, where
interparental conflict involves triangulation dynamics, this could damage the adolescent’s
relationships with peers and other significant adults [62]. But, a fundamental aspect is that conflict
can be the cause, in turn, of high levels of conflict between parents and children [64; 65; 66]. In this
regard, the research reports quite divergent results, as well as presenting a basic limitation: in fact, in
most cases, the connection between the parental conflict and the quality of the parent-child
relationship has been examined, taking into account young adults from divorced families, without
including those from intact families [67; 68; 69]. Moreover, while some studies have found significant
adverse effects of conflict on the relationship between children and both parents [70; 71; 72], others
have identified adverse effects only in relation to the father-child relationship [73; 74; 75; 65].
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
Finally, looking at the specifics of intergenerational transmission, a longitudinal study by Amato
and Booth [76] highlighted the following: high levels of conflict between the two parents predict
hostile relationships and marital discord for offspring that have become adults. Therefore, exposure
to conflict between parents and the subsequent psychological processing of this, lead children to
replicate the same behaviour in their marriages. It appears there is no connection between the hostile
parent-child relationship and the intergenerational transmission of marital quality.
5. Conclusions
Research on parental conflict has several implications for the development of prevention
programmes for children of separated or divorced couples [77]. With regard to these programmes, it
appears that exposure to parental conflict does not necessarily put children at risk of developing
adaptation problems, but rather we need to give due consideration to the ways in which conflict is
managed in the family. Therefore, the effectiveness of preventive programs that aim to teach parents
how to properly manage their conflict is evaluated, so as to reduce stress factors for children and to
support a good parent-child relationship. Moreover, since parenting is an important mediator of the
impact of parental conflict on divorced families, improving the parent-child relationship can reduce
the negative effects of the conflict itself. Since triangulation and conflict experienced by children are
a source of concern in this area, these programs are aimed at supporting couples to find a way to put
the needs of their children first, whilst improving the relationship between parents and children, and
with the other parent [77].
Goodman and coll. [78] examined and assessed the effectiveness of these programmes by
analysing the results of many studies that met methodological quality standards. Among these,
worthy of note are the Children in the Middle and the Parenting Together programmes. Both these
intervention programmes seek to reduce the exposure of children to destructive conflict, preventing
them from being triangulated in parental disputes, with a view of collaborating and coparenting.
Those who took part in this programme reported better communication with their former spouse and
confirmed that they kept their children out of marital disagreements to a greater extent [79; 80].
Another well-known programme is New Beginnings, which is based on the adaptation of children to
parental divorce and focuses on improving the parent-child relationship [81]. The results of these
intervention programmes show a reduction in externalising behaviours in adolescents [82].
Finally, it is believed that a therapeutic support based on the systemic-relational perspective can
be considered the treatment of choice to support families facing separation and/or divorce. In this
regard, Lebow [83] uncovers Multilevel Integrative Family Therapy. This model was created to deal with
disputes concerning the custody of children, and visits in divorce rulings, but then it has most
certainly been used to help deal with parental conflict, the triangulation of children and the
relationship between parents and children in these cases. The working model suggests, first of all,
the need to have a therapeutic contract with the family, also in written form, as a way to avoid
bringing any chaos and any family conflict into the therapeutic process. It is important that the
therapist chooses the correct formats for the therapeutic sessions, deciding to dedicate a specific and
particular time to the various subsystems, also seen separately, in order to build alliances with all
parts of the family system. Realistic objectives should be set, such as: reducing disputes and creating
respectful disengagement between parents; establishing new methods of communication based on
specific rules and coordination; anger management interventions; psycho-education, mediation and
negotiation and finally, the re-activation technique to create new narratives that describe events
without them becoming full of guilt or destructive [83].
The authors report there are no competing interest to declare, also confirm that no external funding sources were
used for this study. Data sharing is not applicable to this article as no new data were created or analysed in this
study.
Funding: This research received no external funding.
Conflicts of Interest: The authors declare there are no conflicts of interest
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
Reference
1. Gambini, P. Psicologia della famiglia: La prospettiva sistemico-relazionale; Franco Angeli: Milano, Italia,
2007.
2. Scabini, E.; Cigoli, V. Il famigliare: Legami, simboli e transizioni; Raffaello Cortina: Milano, Italia, 2000.
3. Volpi, R. La fine della famiglia; Mondadori: Milano, Italia, 2007.
4. Wallerstein, J.S.; Kelly J.B. Effects of divorce on the visiting father–child relationship. Am J Psyc 1980,
137(12), pp. 1534-1539. DOI:10.1176/ajp.137.12.1534
5. Wallerstein, J.S. Children of Divorce: Preliminary Report of a Ten-Year Follow-up of Older Children and
Adolescents. JAACAP 1985, 24(5), pp. 545-553. DOI: 10.1016/s0002-7138(09)60055-8.
6. Malagoli Togliatti, M.; Lubrano Lavadera, A. I figli che affrontano la separazione dei genitori. Psicol Clin
Sv 2009, 1, pp. 3-39. DOI: 10.1449/29217.
7. Dunn, J.; Deater-Deckard, K. Children’s views of their changing families; York Publishing Services: York, UK,
2009.
8. Ackerman, N.W. Psicodinamica della vita familiare; Bollati Boringhieri: Torino, Italia, 1968.
9. Bradford, K.; LaToya, B.V.; Barber, B.K. When there is conflict. Interparental conflict, parent-child conflict,
and youth problem behaviors. J Fam Iss 2008, 29(6), pp. 780-805. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X0730804.
10. Harding, E. La strada della donna; Astrolabio: Roma, 1951.
11. Lebow, J.L. Integrative family therapy for families experiencing high-conflict divorce. In Handbook of
Clinical Family Therapy, 1st ed.; Lebow, J.L., ed.; John Wiley & Sons: New Jersey, US, 2005; pp. 516-542.
12. Deutsch, M. The Resolution of Conflict: Constructive and Destructive Processes; Yale University Press:
New Haven, CT, 1973.
13. El-Sheikh, M.; Buckhalt, J.; Mize, J.; Acebo, C. Marital conflict and disruption of children’s sleep. Child Dev
2006, 77, pp. 31-43. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2006.00854.x
14. Buehler, C.; Lange, G.; Franck, K.L. Adolescents’ cognitive and emotional responses to marital hostility.
Child Dev 2007, 78, pp. 775-789. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2007.01032.x
15. McCauley, D.M.; Fosco, G.M. Family and individual risk factors for triangulation: Evaluating evidence for
emotion coaching buffering effects. Fam Process 2021, 61(2), pp. 1-17. DOI: 10.1111/famp.12703.
16. Emery, R.E. Interparental conflict and the children of discord and divorce. Psychol Bull 1982, 92, pp. 310-
330. DOI:10.1037/0033-2909.92.2.310.
17. Goeke-Morey, M.C.; Cummings, E.M.; Harold, G.T.; Shelton, K.H. Categories and continua of destructive
and constructive marital conflict tactics from the perspective of U.S. and Welsh children. J Fam Psychol 2003,
17, pp. 327-338. DOI: 10.1037/08933200.17.3.327
18. Cummings, E.M.; Goeke-Morey, M.; Papp, L. Children’s responses to everyday marital conflict tactics in
the home. Child Dev 2003, 74, pp. 1918-1929. DOI: 10.1046/j.1467-8624.2003.00646.x.
19. Goodman, S.H.; Barfoot, B.; Frye, A.A.; Belli, A.M. Dimensions of marital conflict and children’s social
problem-solving skills. J Fam Psychol 1999, 13, pp. 33-45. DOI:10.1037/0893-3200.13.1.33
20. McCoy, K.; Cummings, E.M.; Davies PT. Constructive and destructive marital conflict, emotional security,
and children’s prosocial behavior. J Child Psychol Psychiatr 2009, 50, pp. 270-279. DOI: 10.1111/j.1469-
7610.2008.01945.x.
21. Buehler, C.; Welsh, D.P. A Process Model of Adolescents’ Triangulation into Parents’ Marital Conflict: The
Role of Emotional Reactivity. J Fam Psychol 2009, 23(2), pp. 167-180. DOI: 10.1037/a0014976.
22. Easterbrooks, M.A.; Emde, R.N. Marital and parent-child relationships: The role of affect in the family
system. In Relationships within families: Mutual influences, 2nd ed.; Hinde, R.A., Hinde, J.S., Eds.; Oxford
University Press: New York; NW, 1988, pp. 83-103.
23. Sturge-Apple, M.L.; Davies, P.T.; Cummings, E.M. Impact of hostility and withdrawal in interparental
conflict on parental emotional unavailability and children’s adjustment difficulties. Child Dev 2006, 77, pp.
1623–1641. DOI: 10.1111/j.14678624.2006.00963
24. Davies, P.T.; Myers, R.L.; Cummings, E.M. Responses of Children and Adolescents to Marital Conflict
Scenarios as a Function of the Emotionally of Conflict Endings. MPQUA5 1996, 42(1), pp 1-21.
25. Grych, J.H.; Fincham, F.D. Marital conflict and children’s adjustment: A cognitive contextual framework.
Psychol Bull 1990, 108, pp. 267-290. DOI: 10.1037/0033-2909.108.2.267
26. Franke, L. Growing in divorced; Linden Press, 1983.
27. Buehler, C.; Anthony, C.; Krishnakumar, A.; Stone, G.; Gerard, J.; Pemberton, S. Interparental conflict and
youth problem behaviors: A meta-analysis. J Child Fam Stud 1997, 6, pp. 233-247.
https://doi.org/10.1023/A:1025006909538.
28. McCauley, D.M. Interparental conflict and threat appraisal during adolescence: identifying sensitive
periods of risk for psychological maladjustment, substance use, and diminished school adjustment. M. Sc.
Thesis, The Pennsylvania State University. 2021. Available from:
https://etda.libraries.psu.edu/files/final_submissions/24945.
29. Annunziata, D.; Hogue, A.; Faw, L.; Liddle, H.A. Family functioning and school success in at-risk, inner-
city adolescents. J Youth Adolesc 2006, 35, pp. 100-108. DOI: 10.1007/s10964-005-9016-3.
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
30. Dotterer, A.M.; Hoffman, L.; Crouter, A.C.; McHale, S.M. A longitudinal examination of the bidirectional
links between academic achievement and parent–adolescent conflict. J. Fam. Issues 2008, 29(6), pp. 762-779.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X07309454.
31. Timmons, A.C.; Margolin, G. Family conflict, mood, and adolescents' daily school problems: Moderating
roles of internalizing and externalizing symptoms. Child Dev 2015; 86: 241-258. DOI: 10.1111/cdev.12300.
32. Eccles, J.S., Roeser, R.W. Schools as developmental contexts during adolescence. J. Adolesc. Res. 2011, 21,
pp. 225-241. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1532-7795.2010.00725.x.
33. Allen, K.; Kern, M.L.; Vella-Brodrick, D., Hattie, J.; Waters L. What schools need to know about fostering
school belonging: A meta-analysis. Educ Psychol Rev 2018, 30(1), pp. 1-34. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10648-
016-9389-8.
34. Cummings, E.M.; Davies, P. Children and marital conflict. The impact of family dispute and resolution.
Guilford: New York, NW, 1994.
35. Pryor, J. The quiet face of parental conflict: Is silence really golden? A preliminary examination of emotional
conflict and adolescent well-being. Proceeding of the National Council on Family Relations Annual
Conference, Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada, 2003, November.
36. Wang, L.; Crane, D.R. The Relationship Between Marital Satisfaction, Marital Stability, Nuclear Family
Triangulation, and Childhood Depression. Am J Fam Ther 2001, 29, pp. 337-347.
https://doi.org/10.1080/01926180152588743.
37. Kwok, S.Y.C.L.; Gu, M.; Synchaisuksawat, P.; Wong, W.W.K. The relationship between parent-child
triangulation and early adolescent depression in Hong Kong: The mediating roles of self-acceptance,
positive relations and personal growth. Child Youth Serv Rev 2020, 109, pp. 1-8.
https://doi.org/10.1016/j.childyouth.2019.104676.
38. APA. Manuale diagnostico e statistico dei disturbi mentali. Raffaello Cortina: Milano, 2013.
39. Bernet, W.; Wamboldt, M.Z.; Narrow, W.E. Child Affected by Parental Relationship Distress. J Am Acad
Child Adolesc Psychiatry 2016, 55(7), pp. 571-579. DOI: 10.1016/j.jaac.2016.04.018.
40. Felitti, V.J.; Anda, R.F.; Nordenberg, D.; Williamson, D.F. Relationship of Childhood Abuse and Household
Dysfunction to Many of the Leading Causes of Death in Adults: The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE)
Study. AJPM, 1998, 14(4), pp. 245-58. DOI:https://doi.org/10.1016/S0749-3797(98)00017-8.
41. Canevelli, F.; Lucardi M. La mediazione familiare. Dalla rottura del legame al riconoscimento dell’altro;
Bollati Boringhieri: Torino, Italia, 2008.
42. Andolfi, M. Il bambino nella terapia familiare; Franco Angeli: Milano, Italia, 2010.
43. Andolfi, M. La terapia familiare multigenerazionale: Strumenti e risorse del terapeuta; Raffaello Cortina:
Milano, Italia, 2015.
44. Haley, J.; Hoffman, L. Tecniche di terapia della famiglia; Astrolabio: Roma, Italia, 1967.
45. Minuchin, S. Famiglie e terapia della famiglia; Astrolabio: Roma, Italia, 1974.
46. Garber, B.D. Parental alienation and the dynamics of the enmeshed parent-child dyad: adultification,
parentification, and infantilization. Fam Court Rev 2011, 49(2), pp. 322-335. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-
1617.2011.01374.x.
47. Loriedo, C.; Picardi, A. Dalla teoria generale dei sistemi alla teoria dell’attaccamento. Percorsi e modelli
della psicoterapia sistemico-relazionale. Franco Angeli: Milano, Italia, 2000.
48. Pingitore, M., Ed. Nodi e snodi dell’alienazione parentale. Nuovi strumenti psicoforensi per la tutela dei
diritti dei figli. Franco Angeli: Milano, Italia, 2019.
49. Cigoli, V.; Galimberti, C.; Mombelli M. Il legame disperante. Il divorzio come dramma di genitori e figli; Raffaello
Cortina: Milano, Italia, 1988.
50. Cigoli, V. Il patto infranto: Tipologie di divorzio e ritualità del passaggio. In La crisi di coppia: Una prospettiva
sistemicco-relazionale; Andolfi, M., Ed.; Raffaello Cortina: Milano, Italia, 1999, pp. 397-429.
51. Malagoli Togliatti, M.; Lubrano Lavadera A., Eds. Bambini in tribunale: l’ascolto dei figli contesi. Raffaello
Cortina: Milano, Italia, 2011.
52. Gardner, R.A. Recent trends in divorce and custody litigation. Academy Forum 1985, 29(2) pp. 3-7.
53. Boszormenyi-Nagi, I.; Spark, G. M. Lealtà invisibili: La reciprocità nella terapia familiare
intergenerazionale; Astrolabio: Roma, Italia, 1988.
54. Boni, S. Separazioni conflittuali e minori. Profiling 2016, 7(2).
55. Della Giustina, L.; De Renoche, I. Bambini dentro il contesto di separazione genitoriale: particolari risvolti
del conflitto di lealtà. Minori e Giustizia 2015, 3, pp. 156-160. DOI: 10.3280/MG2015-003013
56. Markiewicz, D.; Doyle, A.B.; Brengdon, M. The quality of adolescents’ friendships: Associations with
mothers’ interpersonal relationships, attachment to parents and friends, and prosocial behavior. J Adolesc.
2001, 24, pp. 429-445. DOI:0.1006/jado.2001.0374.
57. Buehler, C.; Frank, K.L.; Cook, E.C. Adolescents’ Triangulation in Marital Conflict and Peer Relations. J.
Adolesc. Res. 2009, 19(4), pp. 669-689. http://dx.doi.org/10.1111/j.1532- 7795.2009.00616.x.
58. Crittenden, P.M. A dynamic-maturational model of attachment. Aust N Z J Fam Ther 2006, 27, pp. 105-115.
https://doi.org/10.1002/j.1467-8438.2006.tb00704.x.
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
59. Crittenden, P.M. Raising Parents: Attachment, Parenting and Child Safety. Willan: Cullompton, UK, 2008.
60. Dallos, R.; Vetere, A. System Theory Family Attachments and Processes of Triangulation: Does the Concept
of Triangulation Offer a Usful Bridge? J Fam Ther 2012, 34, pp. 117-137. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-
6427.2011.00554.x.
61. Ross, A.S.; Hinshaw, A.B.; Murdock, N.L. Integrating the Relational Matrix: Attachment Style,
Differentiation of Self, Triangulation, and Experiential Avoidance. Contemp. Fam. Ther. 2016, 38, pp. 400-
411. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10591-016-9395-5.
62. Fosco, G.M.; Grych, J.H. Adolescent Triangulation Into Parental Conflicts: Logitudinal Implications for
Appraisals and Adolescent-Parent Relations. J Marriage Fam 2010, 72, pp. 254-266.
https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2010.00697.x.
63. Rhoades, K.A. Children’s responses to interparental conflict: A meta-analysis of their associations with
adjustment. Child Dev 2008 6, pp. 1942-1956. DOI: 10.1111/j.1467-8624.2008.01235.x.
64. Davies, P.T.; Cummings, E.M. Marital conflict and child adjustment: An emotional security hypothesis.
Psychol Bull 1994, 116, pp. 387-411. DOI:10.1037/0033-2909.116.3.387.
65. Riggio, H.R. Parental marital conflict and divorce, parent-child relationships, social support, and
relationship anxiety in young adulthood. Pers Relat. 2004 11, pp. 99-114. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-
6811.2004.00073.x.
66. Bradford, K.; Vaughn, L.B.; Barber, B.K. When there is conflict: Interparental conflict, parent-child conflict,
and youth problem behaviors. J Fam Issues 2008; 29: 780-805. https://doi.org/10.1177/0192513X07308043.
67. Aquilino, W.S. Impact of childhood family disruption on young adults’ relationships with parents. J
Marriage Fam 1994, 56, pp. 295-313. https://doi.org/10.2307/353101.
68. Arditti, J.A. Rethinking relationships between divorced mothers and their children: Capitalizing on family
strengths. Fam Relat 1999, 48, pp. 109-119. https://doi.org/10.2307/585074.
69. Cooney, T.M.; Hutchinson, M.K.; Leather, D.M. Surviving the breakup? Predictors of parent-adult child
relations after parental divorce. Fam Relat 1995, 44, pp. 153-161. https://doi.org/10.2307/584802.
70. Amato, P.R.; Booth, A. Consequences of parental divorce and marital unhappiness for adult well-being.
Soc Forces 1991, 69. pp. 895-914. https://doi.org/10.2307/2579480.
71. Booth, A.; Amato, P.R. Parental marital quality, parental divorce, and relations with parents. J Marriage Fam
1994, 56, pp. 21-34. https://doi.org/10.2307/352698.
72. Kaufman, G.; Uhlenberg, P. Effects of life course transitions on the quality of relationships be2ween adult
children and their parents. J Marriage Fam 1998, 60, pp. 924-938. https://doi.org/10.2307/353635.
73. Cooney, T.M.; Uhlenberg, P. The role of divorce in men’s relations with their adult children after mid-life.
J Marriage Fam 1990, 52, pp. 677-688. http://dx.doi.org/10.2307/352933.
74. Cooney, T.M.; Hutchinson, M.K; Leather, D.M. Surviving the breakup? Predictors of parent-adult child
relations after parental divorce. Fam Relat 1995, 44, pp. 153-161. https://doi.org/10.2307/584802.
75. Burns, A.; Dunlop, R. Parental divorce, parent-child relations, and early adult relationships: A longitudinal
Australian study. Pers Relat 1998, 5, pp. 393-407. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.1998.tb00178.x.
76. Amato, P.R.; Booth, A. The Legacy of Parents’ Marital Discord: Conseguences for Children’s Marital
Quality. J Pers Soc Psychol 2001, 81(4), pp. 627-638. DOI:10.1037/0022-3514.81.4.627.
77. Grych, J.H. Interparental Conflict as a risk farctor for child maladjustment: Implications for Development
of Prevention Programs. Fam Court Rev 2005, 43(1), pp. 97-108. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1744-
1617.2005.00010.x.
78. Goodman, M.; Bonds, D.; Sandler, I.; Braver, S. Parent psychoeducational programs and reducing the
negative effects of interparental conflict following divorce. Fam Court Rev 2004, 42, pp. 263-278.
DOI:10.1111/j.174-1617.2004.tb00648.x.
79. Arbuthnot, J.; Gordon, D.A. Does mandatory divorce education for parents work? Fam Concil Courts Rev
1996, 34, pp. 60-81. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.174-1617.1996.tb00400.x.
80. Stolz, H.E.; Sizemore, K.M.; Shideler, M.J.; LaGraff, M.R.; Moran, H.B. Parenting Together: Evaluation of a
Parenting Program for Never-Married Parents. J Divorce Remarriage 2017, 58(5), pp. 358-370.
https://doi.org/10.1080/10502556.2017.1322855.
81. Wolchik, S.A.; West, S.G.; Westover, S.; Sandler, I.N.; Martin, A.; Lustig, J. The children of divorce parenting
intervention: Outcome evaluation of an empirically-based program. Am J Community Psychol 1993, 21, pp.
293-331. DOI: 10.1007/BF00941505.
82. Dawson-McClure, S.R.; Sandler, I.N.; Wolchik, S.A.; Millsap, R.E. Risk as a moderator of the effects of
prevention programs for children from divorced families: A six-year longitudinal study. J Abnorm Child
Psychol 2004, 32, pp. 175-190. DOI: 10.1023/b:jacp.0000019769.75578.79.
83. Lebow, J. Integrative Family Therapy for Disputes Involving Child Custody and Visitation. JFP 2003, 17(2),
pp. 181-192. DOI: 10.1037/0893-3200.17.2.181.
Preprints (www.preprints.org) | NOT PEER-REVIEWED | Posted: 22 May 2023 doi:10.20944/preprints202305.1463.v1
