Content uploaded by Mika Turkia
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Mika Turkia on Sep 30, 2024
Content may be subject to copyright.
Content uploaded by Mika Turkia
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Mika Turkia on Sep 30, 2024
Content may be subject to copyright.
Content uploaded by Mika Turkia
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Mika Turkia on Mar 25, 2023
Content may be subject to copyright.
The treatment of abandonment anxiety with MDMA and LSD
Mika Turkia
mika.turkia@alumni.helsinki.fi, psychedelictherapy.fi, March 25, 2023
Abstract
This retrospective study presents the case of a young woman in her mid-twenties who suffered from insecurity and
abandonment-related anxiety, which intensified after a breakup of her relationship. Her parents’ alcoholism and
schizophrenia, as well as emotional and physical violence, had been a part of her childhood, but they had appeared
’normal’ to her. Her parents and relatives had not benefited from conventional therapies, which led her to conclude
that they would not benefit her either. A friend introduced her to psychedelics, which she initially found strange.
She participated in a few psilocybin mushroom ceremonies but felt that there was a lack of supportive structure
between ceremonies. Subsequently, she found a therapist who utilized Internal Family Systems (IFS) methodology,
MDMA, and LSD. In the course of 1.5 years, she attended thirteen sessions with a therapist, eighteen unsupervised
self-treatment sessions, and almost weekly additional IFS-only sessions. In the beginning, MDMA was utilized in the
sessions; later, it was replaced by LSD. The dosages were relatively high (120-400 mg of MDMA, or 400–600 µg of
LSD).
The most important experience was a reliving of her birth trauma. She described it as perfectly aligned with the
model presented by Stanislav Grof. Its essence was the experience of abandonment, which represented a core around
which her whole life had been organized. Becoming conscious of this core made her life history appear understandable
and explainable. Typical emotions to process had included deep sorrow and feelings of betrayal.
She considered that the process had benefited her enormously, especially because the therapist had extensive personal
experience of these medicines as well as the same psychedelic states and types of experience. The therapist had thus
been able to provide a clear ’route map’ within which her experiences fit. She had resolved her fear of abandonment,
ceased to blame herself for her past, and experienced ’grace’. She found that many of her experiences represented
allegories of events found in the Bible and religious art. The healing process was still ongoing, with each session
producing additional benefits. She considered the process so interesting that she intended to continue it for the rest
of her life. Her aim was to stop further transmission of transgenerational trauma. She stated that everyone should
go through a similar process.
Keywords: psychedelics, psychedelic therapy, MDMA, LSD, psilocybin, mystical experience, religion, COEX
Introduction
This case study belongs to a series of similar studies. Previous studies included a straightforward case of self-treatment
of depression with psilocybin (Turkia, 2023c), a more complicated case of self-treatment of depression with psilocybin
(Turkia, 2022b), the treatment of depression in small-group psilocybin ceremonies (Turkia, 2022d), the treatment
of family trauma with psilocybin and MDMA involving a ’mystical experience’ (Turkia, 2022a), the treatment of
alcohol and diazepam addictions with MDMA (Turkia, 2023b), and the treatment of bipolar disorder with psychotic
features with ayahuasca (Turkia, 2023a). Fundamentally, all cases involved complex post-traumatic stress disorder
(C-PTSD; ICD-11 6B41) (Maercker et al., 2022).
The case involved frequent high-dose self-treatment sessions with MDMA and LSD. The principles and the rationale
for self-treatment were discussed in the author’s previous article about the treatment of psychosis with LSD and
DMT (Turkia, 2022c). As also illustrated by the present case, the rationale for self-treatment is the optimization of
limited resources. Experienced psychedelic therapists are very rare. After a few guided sessions, faster progress of
treatment can be achieved with the addition of self-treatment sessions in between guided sessions. In the present
case, the combination appeared very functional and productive. Unsupervised high-dose LSD sessions have also been
described in a recent book written by a professor of religious studies, Christopher M. Bache, who underwent 73 solo
sessions with 500–600 µg of LSD between 1979 and 1999 (Bache, 2019). In the present case, the unsupervised sessions
utilized slightly lower doses of 250–400 µg.
The present case also involved the Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy approach (Schwartz, 2021; Schwartz and
Sweezy, 2020), which has recently become popular in the context of psychedelic therapy, has been utilized by several
psychedelic therapists, and is included in the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) training
for psychedelic therapists. IFS can also be utilized as self-therapy, as described by Earley (Earley, 2012, 2016a,b).
Preprint; doi: 10.13140/RG.2.2.24766.77124 or 10.31234/osf.io/pw2tf; link: https://doi.org/mmfw
Yugler discussed psychedelics in the context of IFS (Yugler, 2021), noting that ’parts’ (subpersonalities, alters) often
corresponded to ’entities’, ’beings’, or ’spirits’ in the psychedelic context (but they could also be unattached burdens
or guides). In addition to these, there was also an unchanging, boundless source of energy called ’the Self’ whose
energy was characterized by compassion, curiosity, calm, clarity, courage, connectedness, confidence, and creativity
(8 C’s). In addition, the Self possessed five qualities (5 P’s): presence, perspective, persistence, playfulness, and
patience. Together, the parts and the Self formed a ’system’. In the end, any therapeutic outcome was due to the
energy of the Self, not to a therapist or substance. Everyone, regardless of the severity of their past trauma, had the
ability to heal. Yugler also described the concepts of ’unburdening’, ’polarization’, and ’blending’. IFS was a method
or toolkit for navigating any experiences, including psychedelic ones.
In the IFS model, a child approached the world through Self. Parts were considered pre-existing in the system. In the
face of overwhelming experiences, they could take on burdens. This corresponded to traumatization. The burdened
parts became alienated from the Self, and lost trust in the Self’s leadership. The burdens kept the parts frozen in
time, thinking that they were still children stuck in the original, traumatizing environment. The burdened parts
were transformed into ’exiles’, which had to be concealed. Other parts called protectors were tasked with keeping
the exiles hidden. If the parts could be unburdened, the parts’ trust in the Self could be restored, and the mindsets
of the parts updated to correspond to the present day, the parts could release their burdens, and the corresponding
trauma could be healed.
Interestingly, the concept of birth trauma emerged as central in this case. The concept can be traced to Stanislav
Grof, who introduced it in his book about LSD psychotherapy, originally published in 1980 (Grof, 2001). The
concept was based on his experiences facilitating several thousand psychedelic sessions for patients. Later, Grof
invented Holotropic Breathwork, a substance-free method for achieving psychedelic states (Bray, 2018; Grof, 2010).
He also introduced the concept of ’systems of condensed experiences’ (COEX) (Grof, 2001, 2019a,b). In essence,
it meant that similar experiences formed clusters in the brain or mind. For example, all subsequent experiences of
abandonment would connect to the earliest such experience. Recently, in the biomedical context, Grof’s ideas have
often been overlooked or considered ’unscientific’. This is largely based on the assumption that it would not be
possible to remember such events, as the parts of the brain responsible for autobiographical memory would not yet
have developed at the time of birth.
In contrast to the previous cases, the dosing in this case was higher, and the guidance, facilitation and integration of
psychedelic experiences was more structured and consistent. Subsequently, it appeared that the patient’s progress
was significantly faster than in the previous cases. Adverse events appeared to be completely absent. On the other
hand, while this case is also a case of C-PTSD, the degree of traumatization was perhaps lower than in some cases
that involved, for example, early childhood sexual abuse. Also, there were no psychotic features or debilitating
depression; the interviewee had been functional in studies and working life. All in all, this case appeared perhaps
more similar to Bache’s mystical experiences than the cases that focused solely on the resolution of biographical
trauma.
The young woman was found online and invited to participate in this retrospective case study. The author’s approach
was ethnographic, with an intention to collect cases of self-treatment or small-group treatment of various mental
disorders with different psychedelics. The details of this case were acquired from a 1.5-hour semi-structured online
interview conducted in March 2023, and a follow-up review of the materials. Relevant medical records did not exist
due to her not having been involved with the psychiatric care system.
It should be taken into account that while high doses of LSD are considered safe (doses many times higher than the
doses used in this case; see, for example, the discussion in (Turkia, 2022c)), excessive doses of MDMA may be lethal
(for example, 500 mg taken by a small girl at once (Cockburn, 2013, 2019)). Furthermore, there may be uncertainty
as to whether substances obtained from the dark markets are truly what they are marketed as, or something else
that is potentially dangerous. In any case, this study is intended for research and training purposes, and is not to
be taken as a recommendation or a guideline.
Case description
At the time of the interview, the attractive, conventional-looking young woman was 25 years old, employed full-time,
and living a middle-class life. No apparent symptoms of any mental disorders could be perceived in her behavior. A
few years ago, after a breakup of her relationship, she experienced particularly intense insecurity and abandonment-
related anxiety, more intense than during previous breakups or other crises, feeling that ’nothing helped’ with her
symptoms. The breakup ’resembled a lot some childhood experiences and kind of made sense, but made no sense’.
She ’needed answers for why she was feeling so bad’. She had seen herself as hopeless, ’without future, without
value’, and that her only purpose in life was to work in some futile job and ’pay taxes’.
One of her parents suffered from schizophrenia and had been somewhat functional on antipsychotics, which, however,
’limited the emotional life’. Her parents’ alcohol use had been noticeable, and there had been emotional and physical
violence. She had considered these as ’common and normal features of children’s lives’ in her society at the time.
2
Her grandparents had been traumatized in the Second World War (1939-1945). These traumas were transmitted
to her parents and, to a lesser degree, to herself. In her childhood, the material living conditions were tolerable,
but ’emotional aspects were severely lacking’. Many types of experiences and many emotions were ’forbidden’. Her
parents’ drinking had often been heavy, and the schizophrenia also caused issues. She had experienced ’deep feelings
of insecurity and abandonment’. She had needed to repress such feelings, however. Regardless, such a life had
appeared relatively normal to her: she had not realized that it was not fully normal.
Some of her parents and relatives had attended conventional therapies but had not benefited from them. Years of
therapy had provided no changes; they had ’never helped any of them’. During her crisis, she therefore assumed
that such therapies represented a dead end. In the pursuit for other options, a friend introduced her to psychedelics
which she initially found odd because she lacked experience of any drugs. She described that it had taken half a year
’to understand what are psychiatrists, what are mushrooms, what is MDMA, and how they function’. Gradually,
observing others, she realized that substances such as psilocybin and MDMA could be used as therapeutics.
At the age of 22, she participated in a psilocybin mushroom ceremony. She was one of seven participants; there was
little individual guidance. After the ceremony, she lacked support and direction about what to do next. She felt
alone or ’abandoned’ (there could have been a clash between her type of trauma and the ceremonies’ organizational
style). While she had ’mystical experiences’, they remained somewhat indecipherable and had no long-term effects
on her life. Her mindset at the time was ’very dark’, and she blamed herself for everything that had happened to
her.
Eventually, she found a therapist who utilized Internal Family Systems (IFS) methodology, MDMA, and LSD. The
process began with a one-hour introduction to the theory of IFS. It had initially felt strange to her. Following the
introduction, there was a one-hour IFS session that ’felt natural’. Afterwards, she wondered why no one had told
her before about the existence of such a method, with which one could ’sit with oneself and find answers’.
Soon after the IFS session there was a short discussion, during which a MDMA session was planned. A bit before, she
had experimented with MDMA with a friend. However, the MDMA session guided by a therapist was ’much more
therapeutic and a great experience’. In the session, she had relived an event during which she had been eight years
old, alone in a hospital after surgery. This event was a part of a cluster of abandonment-related early experiences.
After this initial success, she understood how the substance could be utilized ’to help oneself ’. She could understand
how all her previous experiences ’were stored in the system’ and how that realization could cause fear or confusion.
She continued MDMA sessions once every three months. Most sessions utilized doses of 120 with a booster dose of
60 mg after two hours; the durations of these sessions were approximately three to four hours. One session utilized a
dose of 400 mg, divided into an initial dose of 120 mg and four booster doses of 70 mg every 1.5 hours. The duration
of this session was approximately seven hours. According to her, high dosing was necessary in order to gain access to
her childhood experiences. During the sessions, she was blindfolded and listening to music from a predefined playlist
compiled by the therapist.
In between sessions, once-weekly online IFS sessions ’resolved a lot of issues’. She had drawn maps of her ’parts’ found
during the sessions, with notes indicating which parts had been integrated back ’into the system’. The therapist was
also reachable online on a messaging system, and they were in contact almost daily. The predefined structure and
frequent contact had been essential for her: there was always a plan to follow, an idea of what would happen next,
and someone to ask if in doubt.
Mostly out of curiosity, she revisited a psilocybin mushroom ceremony. After the individual sessions, she knew what
to expect and was ’more open’ to the experience. Subsequently, the ceremony felt more consequential. Regardless,
post-session support for integration was still missing.
Perhaps halfway through the process, MDMA was switched for LSD, which was the main instrument of the therapist.
In this process, MDMA was used to prepare the patient to work with LSD. MDMA removed enough trauma from
the system of parts and instilled enough compassion in oneself to allow one to reap the full benefits of LSD without
feeling overwhelmed. MDMA was described as ’LSD with training wheels’, whereas LSD was ’like full-blast rocket
fuel’.
High-dose LSD produced ’mystical experiences’, the most important of which was the re-experiencing of her birth in
full detail in her first LSD session (400 µg). She had been born via Cesarean section. She had never believed that
such an experience was possible. After living it, however, she had no choice but to believe it. The essence of the
experience had been that all attachment wounds were linked to the birth experience, ’exactly as Grof said’. This
experience had provided ’richness’ in her life; she hoped that everyone could have a similar experience.
At the time of the first interview, a year after the birth experience, she was still ’integrating’ it, i.e., determining how
the consequences of the experience should be applied in her daily life. She described her experience as ’enormous,
opening and enabling a lot of new possibilities’. She said that she ’fully believed in Grof’s holotropic paradigm’. For
her, LSD was ’the most interesting’, due to being the most visual and the duration of the session being the longest.
In addition, she believed that the importance of an experienced therapist could not be overstated. Since the therapist
3
’had gone through heaven and hell’, including the rebirth experience, a post-session discussion about it with the
therapist had been ’the most wonderful experience’: she had felt fully supported by the therapist. She described the
therapist’s work as ’very systematic: there is always a path, a map to follow to go forward’. She also stressed the
importance of a trusting relationship with the therapist. Concerning substances, she considered MDMA and LSD
superior to psilocybin.
After a while, the therapy resulted in changes in her relationships with people. She became ’unable to close her
eyes to certain truths’. Some friendships ended, while others were transformed. Her relationship to her parents
also changed. The ’complete makeover of her existence’ had resulted in ’enormous improvements’. The sessions
consistently produced information that felt subjectively true to herself; finding more of these truths was her aim. She
found practical the idea that carriers of experiences were parts, not the Self. Even though parts could be blended
with the Self, they were ultimately distinct. The realization of this difference had been the key for her.
Her deepest wound was the experience of having been abandoned. She described that, fundamentally, it originated
from the experience of the birth itself, not even the experience of being insufficiently cared for after birth due to her
mother having suffered from postpartum depression. Instead, the core trauma was about leaving the safe environment
of the womb. The various other experiences of abandonment had then been organized around and connected to this
core, forming a cluster, or COEX.
Self-treatment session practices
The therapist had ’taught her how to trust herself’ to self-organize sessions for herself at home. This practice allowed
her to do 12 to 18 solo sessions a year. Recently, she had organized self-treatment sessions approximately once in
every two to four weeks, depending on self-set scheduling. Initial sessions utilized 120 mg of MDMA, occasionally
augmented with a booster dose of 60 mg. Current sessions utilized either 400 µg of LSD, or a so-called ’candyflip’ (400
µg of LSD combined with 120 mg of MDMA) (Liquidrome, 2016). She was also interested in trying a ’hippieflip’,
which was a combination of MDMA and psilocybin mushrooms; for some reason, she had recently developed an
interest in mushrooms.
For two to four hours before the session, in order to avoid nausea, she refrained from eating. After taking the
substance, she set a timer. After 30 to 40 minutes, she began to feel the effect, and retreated to her bedroom,
curtains closed. On her computer, she had prepared playlists partly according to the therapist’s guidance and partly
according to her own preferences. The list included, for example, certain kinds of classical music and songs typical
for ayahuasca ceremonies. The list was designed to guide the experience forward by, for example, utilizing variations
in intensity between songs. Variations gave a rhythm to the experience and prevented the experience from stalling
into a certain mood: when the song changed, the experience typically also changed.
For the next four to five hours, she was on the bed, blindfolded, listening to the music on headphones. This duration
was currently ’the most her system could take’ because the process involved a lot of physical release of trauma in the
style of Trauma Release Exercises (TRE) (Berceli, 2015; Lynning et al., 2021), as well as sweating. If needed, she
could take a break to drink or go to the toilet. She compared the experience to ’running a marathon’.
Doses between 250 and 400 µg allowed for working with trauma. The smaller dose of 250 µg resulted in the focus
and contents of the experience being more biographical. The larger dose of 400 µg ’went deeper’, resulting in the
processing of issues such as birth trauma. The precise contents were determined by ’which direction her system
wanted to take her’. Typically, the contents involved her experiences of having been alone or left alone in a hospital
as a child (she had undergone several surgeries as a child). Emotionally, feelings of betrayal were central to these
experiences. She described these as ’biblical’. As a child, she had been interested in religion and read the Bible a
lot. In the Bible, she could find experiences and events corresponding to her psychedelic experiences.
Although the effect of a high dose of LSD could be felt for up to 12 hours, after a four-to-five-hour session, she
regardless experienced no difficulties in returning to her normal tasks. In contrast, after a MDMA session, although
the duration of its pharmacological effect was much shorter (perhaps 3-5 hours), she often felt too exhausted to get
up from the bed.
After the session, she could message the therapist to discuss her experience. She could inform the therapist about
finding a new part, for example, or ask for guidance about some details. She described the post-session guidance as
’very wonderful’. Sometimes they did an IFS session to complement the LSD session.
’Mystical’ and religious experiences
Her highest doses of LSD had been 600 µg, taken in a session supervised by the therapist. Such a dose resulted
in the experience being predominantly mystical instead of trauma-oriented. These typically concerned the polarity
between the feminine and the masculine: the nature and essence of these archetypes, their respective strengths and
burdens, their positive and negative aspects, and what could happen if either utilized excessive power over the other.
Some issues were ’very primitive’: about the biological purpose of humans, and why people existed. She saw visions
about tribes, families, children, and the continuum of generations. She described also these as biblical and ’reaching
the root issues’.
4
She had ’found grace’ in her system for herself. It had felt like a divine christening or baptism: a baptism into
life. Visually, a beautiful, bright light granted amnesty to everything that she had experienced. She found the
experience ’very Christian’. Her mother had considered receiving a Christian upbringing important. As a child, she
frequently read the Bible as well as other books on religion and philosophy. Partly, this inquiry has been an attempt
to understand what was wrong with her. She knew that something was wrong, but could not figure out what it was.
Regardless, she had left the church at the age of eighteen, feeling that she did not need an external authority or
structure to support her beliefs. She ’did not need external validation’. She still considered that she only believed
in what she had personally experienced and learned. She saw herself as a creator of her own life. According to her,
the Bible was written as an allegory to guide people back to the ’core’ or ’root’ of their existence. Similarly, other
books were relevant to the extent that one could personally validate their information by finding the same structures
in their own system, or personally experiencing something described in those books.
The Bible had been able to answer some of her psychedelic-related questions that books about psychology, psychiatry,
and philosophy had failed to answer. These answers appeared to be universal and collective – things that everyone
experienced in their lives. This had led her to feel connected to humanity. To her, it seemed as if everyone had these
experiences, but only a select few were allowed to really look into them. She considered this ’collective mysticism’.
As an example, the experiences of Jesus, such as betrayal and crucifixion, represented archetypal experiences that
were present in everyone’s system of parts. Similarly, the religious art theme of the ’Immaculate Heart of Mary’
represented an archetypal experience of personal pain and love for one’s own child (Kupelwieser and Ringo, 2013).
She thought it likely that the artists who created such works had personally experienced these emotions.
Psychedelic experiences made her see the meanings hidden in the Bible and religious art. She had begun to read the
Bible again to find additional insights and connections. She stated that the same things could most likely be found
in the main works of other religions; it was just that Christianity was her background and thus the most familiar to
her.
She found the painting ’Immaculate Heart of Mary’ to be a fitting allegory for her healing process (Kupelwieser and
Ringo, 2013). The artwork depicts Mary’s heart burning, pierced by a dagger, and surrounded by a wreath of flowers.
The dagger symbolizes the pain that needs to be processed, but it is also surrounded by love, represented by the
heart and flowers. The love eventually sanctified one of the pain. The pain experienced in the sessions originated
from love and eventually dissolved into love.
Concerning negative aspects of the process, she mentioned that undergoing uncommon experiences had produced a
degree of isolation from the rest of society which lacked similar experience. Few people had an interest in emotional
or spiritual development. This made her feel lonely. The society appeared to be aimed at directing people in a certain
direction, very different from a religious or spiritual path. While she was deeply connected to herself, she had, to
a degree, also been alienated from others. On the other hand, connecting to herself had allowed her to function
autonomously, without unhealthy patterns of attachment, and to better understand the experiences of others. She
had overcome her anxious attachment style and undergone a process of individuation, becoming ’more adult’.
She felt that she was now able to ’live as a normal person, keep a job, find friends, and have a family’. She noted
that at this point, most people would discontinue the psychedelic therapy process and begin to live a normal life. Her
idea, however, was different. She considered the process too interesting to stop. Her quality of life was constantly
improving, and there did not appear to be a limit to what could be achieved. While she said the way of working
would likely change with time, she was going to continue the work in one form or another indefinitely, if not only in
the form of meditation without psychedelics. However, she wanted to continue using psychedelics ’for a few years, at
least’. One reason for this was that she wanted to transfer her newly acquired knowledge base to the next generation.
One aspect of this goal was to prevent further transmission of transgenerational war trauma and to heal her extended
family. Her work was also a preparation for future traumatic events: she considered that her new skills would allow
her to process future events without getting traumatized.
She was delighted about the fact that ’there existed people who had gone through the enormous trouble of having
learned how to use psychedelics in the proper way’. Connecting to this knowledge ’had enabled a lot’ for her. The
only issue was the attitudes of society: people did not know about or understand these methods. Therefore, a certain
degree of secrecy had to be maintained. This state of the world and society occasionally made her sad. It seemed that
there were parties that did not want people to see the true state of affairs: they did not want the secrets, abuses, and
violence to be revealed in full. It was a game about power in which people were the pawns. To address this, primary
education needed to be transformed, and children needed to be taught better emotional skills, such as understanding
and applying the IFS model. The greatest impediment to achieving societal progress was the widespread fear of the
unknown and change. The fear of change was fundamentally the fear of rejection, ’the core wound of everyone’, and
resulted in societal stagnation.
Regardless, for her, it was enough to know and abide by her own truth, despite a degree of isolation in a society
full of people who appeared withdrawn, fearful, and lacking an interest in personal development. As a result of her
process, she was able to ’offer herself a better future’ also in this environment: she could access her fundamental
5
experiences and needs, accept them, and let the acceptance guide her. Before the process, she had been guided by
her fears, especially her fear of abandonment, fear of losing people, and her fear of ending up alone. After facing
these fears in the psychedelic sessions, she realized that she was able to live independently, without seeking constant
validation. Previously, her mindset had been one of constant conflict; she then realized that her problems had been
merely illusory, products of her mind. She had found a new, harmonious relationship and was planning on having
children in the future.
Discussion
Recent psychedelic research has concentrated on meeting the demands of the evidence-based medicine paradigm in
order to obtain regulatory approval for these substances to be used in the medical context. In the present case,
the interviewee skipped participation in the medical context. Recently, another paradigm has been proposed: the
religious context (Cole-Turner, 2022). Traditionally, ayahuasca has been considered a sacrament (Groisman and
Dobkin de Rios, 2007). As illustrated above, high-dose LSD also falls into this category. While, to a degree, it may
be utilized as a ’tool’ in a medical context, in the end, such a reductionist approach may appear somewhat violent
to the true nature of the substance.
The term ’mystical’ has gained popularity in the field of current psychedelic research. However, it could be considered
problematic. Seeing an optical character recognition (OCR) system for the first time in the early 1990s felt mystical.
Similarly, seeing some features of ChatGPT 3.5 for the first time in 2023 seemed mystical; for example, it appeared
creative. At the moment, no-one considers OCR mystical, and everyone ’knows’ that ChatGPT is ’just a large
language model’. Only a few people consider that the human mind is a similar mechanism (Wolfram, 2023). While
the experience of birth trauma might appear mystical, in the end, it is just another experience like everything else.
One might, for example, also find it mystical that effective treatments for C-PTSD remain unadopted because of
adherence to ’evidence-based medicine’, while ineffective treatments remain adopted in the same paradigm despite
the lack of evidence for their efficacy.
In the Christian context, the Ligare association (ligare.org) represents an attempt to link or fusion the universe of
psychedelic experience and the Christian contemplative tradition (Lattin, 2022). Their stated intention is ’making
direct experience of the sacred available to all who desire it through the use of psychedelic medicine and within the
context of the Christian contemplative tradition’. In the present case, the experience of ’finding grace’ amounted to
such a direct experience of the divine.
Conclusions
In this case, the healing process could be considered swifter and deeper than usual, likely due to two main factors:
the therapist’s experience and the higher dosing. Additionally, the type and degree of traumatization were likely
somewhat milder than in some other cases (e.g., lack of early childhood sexual abuse and lack of psychotic features).
In the previous cases, the dosing of LSD typically varied in the range of 50–200 µg. In the present case, the range
was 250–600 µg, with 400 µg being the most common. This decision was likely primarily based on the therapist’s
personal experience of working with this range, as well as the expectation that the chosen dosing would produce the
optimal outcome. It appeared that this decision was reasonable. She reported no adverse events.
In the ayahuasca context, the competence required for the facilitation of psychedelic experiences has been said to
depend on two factors: knowledge and power. Knowledge, in this context, refers to knowledge about the properties
of substances and the structure and functioning of the mind. Power, respectively, refers primarily to confidence and
trust in one’s ability to facilitate the process successfully. Together, power and knowledge produce a single factor
that may be the primary determinant of treatment efficacy and successful outcomes: subjectively perceived safety.
Abbreviations: The following abbreviations are used in this manuscript:
C-PTSD complex post-traumatic stress disorder
COEX systems of condensed experience; a set of related experiences linked to a core experience (Grof, 2019a)
DMT N,N-dimethyltryptamine
IFS Internal Family Systems therapy (Schwartz and Sweezy, 2020)
LSD lysergic acid diethylamide
MDMA 3,4-methylenedioxymethamphetamine
TRE Trauma Release Exercises (Berceli, 2015)
6
Authors’ contributions: The author was responsible for all aspects of the manuscript.
Funding: This research did not receive any specific grant from funding agencies in the public, commercial, or not-
for-profit sectors.
Availability of data and materials: Data and materials are not available upon request, as they were deleted at the
interviewee’s request.
Ethics approval and consent to participate: A consent to participate from the patient was obtained. Ethics pre-approval
does not apply to retrospective ethnographic studies.
Consent for publication: A verbal informed consent from the interviewee was obtained. Due to the sensitive nature
of the subject, the interviewee requested a waiver of documentation of informed consent (45 CFR §46.117(c)(1)(i)).
Competing interests: The author declares that he has no competing interests.
Author details: Independent researcher, Helsinki, Finland. ORCID iD: 0000-0002-8575-9838
References
Bache, C.M., 2019. LSD and the Mind of the Universe: Diamonds from Heaven. Park Street Press, Rochester,
Vermont.
Berceli, D., 2015. Shake It Off Naturally: Reduce Stress, Anxiety, and Tension with TRE. CreateSpace, United
States.
Bray, P., 2018. Holotropic Breathwork as a therapeutic intervention for survivors of trauma: an autoethnographic
case study, in: McInnes, E., Schaub, D. (Eds.), What Happened? Re-presenting Traumas, Uncovering Recoveries.
Brill, pp. 187–218. https://doi.org/10.1163/9789004385931_011, doi:10.1163/9789004385931_011.
Cockburn, A.M., 2013. 5,742 days: A Mother’s Journey Through Loss. Infinite Ideas.
Cockburn, A.M., 2019. Why I want to legally regulate the drugs that killed my only child. https://youtu.be/
mlosX3MKGYo?t=749.
Cole-Turner, R., 2022. Psychedelic mystical experience: a new agenda for theology. Religions 13, 385. https:
//doi.org/10.3390/rel13050385, doi:10.3390/rel13050385.
Earley, J., 2012. Self-Therapy: A Step-By-Step Guide to Creating Wholeness and Healing Your Inner Child Using
IFS, A New, Cutting-Edge Psychotherapy. Pattern System Books, Larkspur, CA.
Earley, J., 2016a. Self-Therapy, Volume 2: A Step-by-Step Guide to Advanced IFS Techniques for Working with
Protectors. Pattern System Books, Larkspur, CA.
Earley, J., 2016b. Self-Therapy, Volume 3: A Step-by-Step Guide to Using IFS for Eating Issues, Procrastination,
the Inner Critic, Depression, Perfectionism, Anger, Communication, and More. Pattern System Books, Larkspur,
CA.
Grof, S., 2001. LSD Psychotherapy. Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies.
Grof, S., 2010. Holotropic Breathwork: A New Approach to Self-Exploration and Therapy. Excelsior Editions.
Grof, S., 2019a. The Way of the Psychonaut Volume One: Encyclopedia for Inner Journeys. Multidisciplinary
Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS).
Grof, S., 2019b. The Way of the Psychonaut Volume Two: Encyclopedia for Inner Journeys. Multidisciplinary
Association for Psychedelic Studies.
Groisman, A., Dobkin de Rios, M., 2007. Ayahuasca, religion and the U.S. Supreme Court: cultural context and
implications of a legal dispute. ResearchGate https://www.researchgate.net/publication/338194811.
Kupelwieser, L., Ringo, D., 2013. Immaculate Heart of Mary. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_
Heart_of_Mary#/media/File:Immaculate_Heart_of_Mary.jpg.
Lattin, D., 2022. Pioneering clergy of diverse religions embrace psychedelics. https://web.archive.org/web/
20220421034536/https://www.lucid.news/pioneering-clergy-of-diverse-religions-embrace- psychedelics/.
Liquidrome, 2016. MDMA self-therapy has almost totally cured me of the trauma from childhood sexual abuse
and other violence (post includes treatment plan). https://www.reddit.com/r/mdmatherapy/comments/4p9t31/
mdma_selftherapy_has_almost_totally_cured_me_of/.
7
Lynning, M., Svane, C., Westergaard, K., Bergien, S., Gunnersen, S., Skovgaard, L., 2021. Tension and trauma
releasing exercises for people with multiple sclerosis – an exploratory pilot study. Journal of Traditional and Com-
plementary Medicine 11, 383–389. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jtcme.2021.02.003, doi:10.1016/j.jtcme.
2021.02.003.
Maercker, A., Cloitre, M., Bachem, R., Schlumpf, Y.R., Khoury, B., Hitchcock, C., Bohus, M., 2022. Complex
post-traumatic stress disorder. Lancet 400, 60–72. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(22)00821-2, doi:10.
1016/S0140-6736(22)00821-2.
Schwartz, R.C., 2021. No Bad Parts: Healing Trauma & Restoring Wholeness with the Internal Family Systems
model. Sounds True, Boulder, Colorado.
Schwartz, R.C., Sweezy, M., 2020. Internal Family Systems Therapy. 2 ed., Guilford Press, New York.
Turkia, M., 2022a. Healing early neonatal death related family trauma with psilocybin—a retrospective case study.
ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.17919.69284, doi:10.13140/RG.2.2.17919.69284.
Turkia, M., 2022b. Self-treatment of depression and complex post-traumatic stress disorder (C-PTSD) with psilocybin
– a retrospective case study. ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.20075.41764, doi:10.13140/RG.
2.2.20075.41764.
Turkia, M., 2022c. Self-treatment of psychosis and complex post-traumatic stress disorder with LSD and DMT—A
retrospective case study. Psychiatry Research Case Reports 1, 100029. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psycr.
2022.100029, doi:10.1016/j.psycr.2022.100029.
Turkia, M., 2022d. Underground small-group therapy of treatment-resistant depression and complex post-traumatic
stress disorder (C-PTSD) with psilocybin – a retrospective case study. ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/
RG.2.2.24250.06089, doi:10.13140/RG.2.2.24250.06089.
Turkia, M., 2023a. Ayahuasca in the treatment of bipolar disorder with psychotic features – a retrospective case
study. ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.21294.18243, doi:10.13140/RG.2.2.21294.18243.
Turkia, M., 2023b. MDMA, Internal Family Systems therapy, and the Minnesota model in the resolution of C-PTSD-
induced alcohol and diazepam addiction – a retrospective case study. ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/
RG.2.2.31521.48480, doi:10.13140/RG.2.2.31521.48480.
Turkia, M., 2023c. Self-treatment of parental neglect-induced mixed anxiety and depressive disorder with psilocybin
– a retrospective case study. ResearchGate https://doi.org/10.13140/RG.2.2.21687.39848, doi:10.13140/
RG.2.2.21687.39848.
Wolfram, S., 2023. Will AIs take all our jobs and end human history—or not? Well, it’s compli-
cated. . . . https://web.archive.org/web/20230316014929/https://writings.stephenwolfram.com/2023/
03/will-ais-take-all-our-jobs- and-end-human-history-or-not-well- its-complicated/.
Yugler, S., 2021. Working with Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy and psychedelics: everything you
need to know. https://web.archive.org/web/20210407152231/https://psychedelicstoday.com/2021/04/
07/internal-family-systems-ifs-therapy-and- psychedelics-explainer/.
8
