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Journal of LGBTQ Issues in Counseling
ISSN: (Print) (Online) Journal homepage: https://www.tandfonline.com/loi/wlco21
Discovering gender and coming out: The gender
identity journeys and coming out stories of
transgender and gender expansive youth
Michelle N. Saltis, Claire Critchlow & Jennifer A. Fulling-Smith
To cite this article: Michelle N. Saltis, Claire Critchlow & Jennifer A. Fulling-Smith (2022)
Discovering gender and coming out: The gender identity journeys and coming out stories of
transgender and gender expansive youth, Journal of LGBTQ Issues in Counseling, 16:3, 226-245,
DOI: 10.1080/26924951.2022.2054491
To link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1080/26924951.2022.2054491
Published online: 01 Aug 2022.
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Discovering gender and coming out: The gender
identity journeys and coming out stories of
transgender and gender expansive youth
Michelle N. Saltis
a
, Claire Critchlow
b
, and Jennifer A. Fulling-Smith
b
a
Naropa University, Boulder, CO, USA;
b
University of Northern Colorado, Greeley, CO, USA
ABSTRACT
This manuscript is a part of a four-part series that presents
findings from the first known Interpretative Phenomenological
Analysis study of how nine transgender and/or gender expan-
sive youth, aged 13–17, experienced their genders and add-
itional intersecting identities. This manuscript presents the
superordinate theme and various sub-themes around the par-
ticipants’gender identity journeys and coming out processes,
including various contextual factors. This collection of themes
provides a nuanced look into the complex lives of transgender
and gender expansive youth not before explored within the
literature through this methodology.
KEYWORDS
Coming out; gender
expansive; gender identity;
interpretative phenomeno-
logical analysis;
transgender; youth
Due to the increase in acceptance of transgender and/or gender expansive
people in the United States, young adults, adolescents, and children are iden-
tifying within the transgender umbrella at higher rates than any generation
previously (Boyon, 2021; Flores et al., 2016; GLAAD, 2017). Currently, it is
estimated that about one percent of children and adolescents are transgender
and/or gender expansive with an even larger percent exploring their gender
identity (Clark et al., 2014; Shields et al., 2013; Turban & Ehrensaft, 2018).
Yet, in spite of this increased acceptance, transgender and/or gender expan-
sive youth (TGEY) struggle more with their mental health than their cisgen-
der peers and peers with historically oppressed sexual, affectional, and
romantic identities (The Trevor Project, 2021). This includes increased rates
of suicide attempts, anxiety, and depression (The Trevor Project, 2021).
Lastly, LGBTQ youth overall have wanted to receive mental health services,
with half of those unable to do so based on lack of access, competencies of
the mental health professional, fears of being outed, and other factors such as
the persistence of conversion therapy in the United States (The Trevor
Project, 2020;2021).
As such, it is important for counselors to understand how TGEY experi-
ences their gender identities, as well as how they navigate various systems
CONTACT Michelle N. Saltis michelle.saltis@naropa.edu Naropa University, 2130 Arapahoe Avenue,
Boulder, CO 80302, USA
ß2022 Taylor & Francis Group, LLC
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING
2022, VOL. 16, NO. 3, 226–245
https://doi.org/10.1080/26924951.2022.2054491
of privilege and oppression within their lives to best meet their mental
health needs. There has been a dearth of literature on how TGEY experi-
ence their genders and lives within their own words, with few studies shar-
ing the voices of TGEY in the literature (Singh et al., 2014). Additionally,
there are no studies specifically using a qualitative methodology designed
to look at the contextual factors in the lives of TGEY: Interpretative
Phenomenological Analysis (IPA).
Review of the literature
Gender identity development of transgender and gender expansive youth
Literature on TGEY has been bourgeoning within the last few decades, pro-
viding some insight into the lives of TGEY. Much of the counseling and
psychology literature has reached a consensus in understanding that gender
identities are a complex constellation of factors such as biological (hor-
mones, chromosomes, etc.), mind, brain, cultural, and socialization factors
(Ehrensaft, 2017). Additionally, gender identity development is a fluid,
complex, socially constructed process that exists on a continuum (Carrera
et al., 2012; Nagoshi & Brzuzy, 2010). It is also important to note that
while the United States has become more accepting of transgender and/or
gender expansive identities, these identities have existed for thousands of
years and vary significantly by culture (Turban & Ehrensaft, 2018).
What is known
The literature that does exist can provide insight into the gender identity
development of children and adolescents. Unlike cisgender children who
are naturally exploring gender roles and identities, children who continue
to assert that they are not the gender they were assigned at birth (through
“persistence”through adolescence, “insistence”in asserting their true gen-
der, and “consistence”in asserting their gender across time) are more likely
to grow up as transgender and/or gender expansive (Ehrensaft, 2011). They
may also find a mismatch between their gender identities and the gender
roles and expectations of their specific culture (Ehrensaft, 2011). Recent lit-
erature on the gender identity development of TGEY has found that TGEY
follow three “trajectories”which are influenced by personal and social fac-
tors in a nonlinear way: early dissonance with their assigned gender and
early transition, early dissonance with their assigned gender and delayed
transition, and late experience of gender dysphoria which usually occurs
around the onset of puberty (Pullen Sansfac¸on et al., 2020). Studies com-
paring the gender identities of TGEY with their cisgender peers have found
that their gender identities are “just as real”—that is, when the brains of
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 227
TGEY and cisgender youth are compared, there are no noticeable differen-
ces (Olson et al., 2015). Lastly, the literature has consistently shown that
when TGEY are supported in their gender identities, they have much
stronger mental health outcomes (Durwood et al., 2017; Olson et al., 2016;
The Trevor Project, 2020,2021).
Gaps in the literature
While the aforementioned literature explores what is known about the gen-
der identity development of TGEY, the foray into understanding the gender
identity development of TGEY is “still in its infancy”(Katz-Wise et al.,
2017; Pullen Sansfac¸on et al., 2020). As such there has been a call for more
information about the gender identity development of TGEY (Pullen
Sansfac¸on et al., 2020; Turban & Ehrensaft, 2018) so that mental health
professionals can best meet their needs. Therefore, continued study on the
gender identity development of TGEY that captures their experiences in
their own words is needed.
Current study and purpose
The purpose of this current study was to use IPA to understand the gen-
ders of TGEY, how they navigated the world with their gender identities
and additional intersecting identities, and how they made meaning from
these experiences. A secondary purpose was to explore the participants’
experiences as they were located within historical, political, social, and cul-
tural factors to further contextualize their experiences from a multicultural
and social justice framework. The researchers hoped to increase the know-
ledge and awareness of TGEY within the counseling field, in hopes of
increasing the multicultural and social justice counseling competencies
(Ratts et al., 2016) of counselors and counselor educators in this area. By
contributing to the literature, it is hoped that counselors can best meet the
mental health needs of TGEY by understanding their stories, their gender
identity development, and moving away from perpetuating, intentionally or
unintentionally, harmful counseling practices with this population.
The guiding research question and two subquestions for this study were:
How do transgender and gender expansive youth experience their gen-
der identity?
SQ1 How do transgender and gender expansive youth experience their gender
identity in relation to their intersecting identities?
SQ2 How do youth who identify within transgender and gender expansive identities
make meaning of their experiences, their identities, and their experiences within
their identities?
228 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
Methods
Interpretative phenomenological analysis
IPA follows an idiographic and double-hermeneutic approach (Smith et al.,
2009). This allows for the converging and diverging themes of the partici-
pants to be shared, as well as how participants’made meaning from their
experiences and how the researchers interpret and contextualize those
meanings. This approach was chosen over other qualitative approaches due
to its natural fit within the LGBTQ community (Chan & Farmer, 2017),
since it celebrates the complexities of experiences instead of converging
experiences into an ‘essence’of a phenomenon (like traditional phenomen-
ology), which can further contribute to the oppression and invisibility of
transgender and/or gender expansive identities. This approach was also
chosen to position the voices of the participants above the researchers’so
that they could define their experiences in their own words (Singh et al.,
2014; Smith et al., 2009). Lastly, IPA was chosen to provide a rich context-
ualization of the participants’experiences as they were located within his-
torical, cultural, political and social constructs through the lenses of
interpretivism, critical theory, and intersectionality theory (Chan & Farmer,
2017; Crenshaw, 1989; Miller et al., 2018).
Role of the researchers: positionality and researcher bias
Due to the subjective nature of IPA, it is near impossible to separate the
researchers from the process, nor is this the typical intention (Creswell &
Poth, 2018; Miller et al., 2018; Smith et al., 2009). The primary researcher
identifies as nonbinary, queer, white, upper-class, mostly-able-bodied, athe-
ist, educated, neurodivergent, and as an adult. It is highly likely that their
privileged and oppressed identities created implications for the research
process and intersected with the privileged and historically oppressed iden-
tities of the participants. While their historically oppressed identities may
have been helpful in reducing systems of power and hierarchy present in
the research process, they also hold numerous privileged identities that
may have counteracted any attempts made at mitigating power and privil-
ege. The secondary researcher identifies as a queer, white, middle-class,
able-bodied, pagan, and a cis-woman. While the secondary researcher did
not meet with participants directly, the experience of her privileged identi-
ties, particularly as a cis-woman, could have potentially impacted the cod-
ing process through possible implicit and explicit biases throughout the
coding process. However, both researchers felt that the second researcher’s
locations within the LGBTQ community as a whole, while being cisgender,
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 229
would help to balance any potential biases the first researcher had as an in-
group member with the participants.
Participants
Nine TGEY between the ages of 13–17 were recruited using purposeful and
snowball sampling methods (Creswell & Poth, 2018) in order to create a
homogenous sample (Miller et al., 2018; Pietkiewicz & Smith, 2014). Flyers
about the study were sent to schools, organizations, and agencies that
worked with TGEY across the state to post about the study as a part of
purposeful sampling methods. Participants were also asked if they knew
other TGEY, especially those with additional historically oppressed identi-
ties (race, ethnicity, disability, etc.) who might want to participate as a part
of snowball sampling methods. The participants will be referred to by their
pseudonyms to protect their anonymity: John Joe, Lynn, Mx. Peacock,
Mason, Debbie Reynolds, Zinniah, Valdin, Henry, and Pringles. Their
demographic information is presented in Table 1.
Data collection
The participants engaged in two 60–90 minute semi-structured interviews
(Miller et al., 2018; Smith et al., 2009) throughout August-November 2020
over Zoom due to the COVID-19 pandemic. The participants filled out an
open-response demographics questionnaire within their own words as a
part of the first interview (Smith et al., 2009). The interviews were recorded
and transcribed through a digital transcription service which was then veri-
fied and edited for accuracy by the first author. Lastly, participants
attended a member-checking meeting after data analysis was complete
where they co-constructed the final data and emerging themes with the pri-
mary researcher.
Data analysis
Data analysis and data collection occurred simultaneously in an iterative
and immersive process involving numerous steps and iterations of code-
books (Smith et al., 2009). The researcher and second coder closely fol-
lowed the data analysis steps provided by Smith et al. (2009). The specific
data analysis steps followed by Smith et al. (2009) were: (a) reading and re-
reading, (b) initial noting, (c) developing emergent themes, (d) searching
for connections across emergent themes, (e) moving to the next case, and
(f) looking for patterns across cases. This complex process is outlined in
Figure 1. These steps were also followed with a second coder, to increase
the trustworthiness and rigor of the data analysis, through reaching a 100%
230 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
Table 1. Participant Demographics
Pseudonym John Joe Lynn Mx. Peacock Mason
Debbie
Reynolds Zinniah Valdin Henry Pringles
Age 16 17 15 13 17 15 16 17 16
Gender identity Male Male Genderfluid Agender Female Female Genderfluid Genderfluid Trans Female
Pronouns He/him/his He/him They/them They/them She/her She/her/it He/they They/them She/her
Racial and Ethnic Identity Caucasian and
Native American
Caucasian White Caucasian White White, European Caucasian
and Chicano
Caucasian/
Finnish
Bi-Racial
Mexican,
Caucasian
Sexual, Affectional and
Romantic Identities
–Pan Bisexual/
poly(romantic)
Queer Bisexual Abrosexual,
lesbian, pansexual,
polysexual, and
homoflexible
Panromantic
and demisexual
Ace/Aro Asexual
and lesbian
Religion and Spirituality -–Unknown Pagan Agnostic Non-religious,
agnostic,
atheist, pagan
Wiccan Wiccan Christian
Socioeconomic status -–Middle class
(I think)
Upper
middle
class
Lower
middle
class
Average Lower middle
class and
middle class
Middle class Middle class
Disabilities and Abilities -–Physically able,
mental illness
–Chronic
depression,
ADHD
Asperger’s
syndrome,
linguistically
talented,
insomnia, OCD,
ADHD, Mild
synesthesia
Creativity and
strong
conversation skills
–Poland
syndrome,
ADHD, major
depressive
disorder, PTSD
Additional identities -–– –Musician,
politician
Language-learner,
visual-learner
Musician, artist ––
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 231
agreement on the consensus of emergent themes. This final codebook
became the basis for the results section in the study.
Trustworthiness within interpretative phenomenological analysis
The researchers followed general trustworthiness procedures within qualita-
tive literature (Guba & Lincoln, 1989; Hays et al., 2016; Lincoln & Guba,
1985; Morrow, 2005), such as negative case analysis, thick description,
reflexivity, and a bridling journal (Vagle, 2009). Participants also engaged
in a member-checking meeting with the final codebook where they gave
feedback on the themes and quotes used, providing them an opportunity
for their stories and themes to appear exactly as intended. The researchers
also followed Smith’s(2011) guidelines for trustworthiness in IPA, which
are: (1) the research clearly follows the theoretical principles underlying
IPA of phenomenology, idiography, and hermeneutics, (2) it is sufficiently
transparent for the reader to understand what was done in the study, (3) it
has a ‘coherent, plausible, and interesting’analysis of the data, and (4) it
has done sufficient sampling of the participants’experiences to provide a
density ‘of evidence for each theme’.
Step One: Each transcript
was read and re-read to
immerse into the data;
thoughts were bracketed.
Step Two: Initial noting of
transcripts highlighting the
linguistic, conceptual, and
descipritve pieces of text; saved as
own document.
Step Three: A new document where
emerging themes were noted within
the margins; emerging themes were
placed in chronlogical order in new
document, becoming codebook one.
Step Four: A second codebook
was created from codeboook
one, organizing the emerging
themes through the processes
of abstraction, subsumation,
and organizing into
superordinate themes.
This process was then repeated for
the second transcript for each
participant, leading to two codebooks
for each participant in step four.
Both of these codebooks went
through step four again, leading to a
third and final codebook for that
participant where emerging themes
were organized.
First and second researcher met
together to review both of these
codebooks to reach consensus coding
of codebook three, leading to a final
codebook three for each participant.
Primary researcher met with the
participant to membercheck this final
codebook which aggregated their
experiences; edits were made to the
codebook based on participants'
wishes.
Step Five: The entire
previous process was
repeated for each of the
nine participants, resulting
in nine codebook threes.
Step Six: All of the
participants' third codebooks
were put into one document,
with each paticipants'
codebooks color-coded.
The process of abstraction, subsumation,
and superordinate themes occured to
look for patterns of similarities and
differences across cases. This resulted in
the final codebook
First and second researcher
reached consensus coding on
this final codebook; which
then became the basis for
reporting the findings.
Figure 1 Visual Representation of Data Analysis
232 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
Findings
Six superordinate themes highlighted the participants’narratives and expe-
riences in the primary study: (1) Gender Identity Journey and Coming
Out; (2) Identities and Experiences of Oppression; (3) Navigating Mental
Health and Physical Health; (4) Interpersonal Relationships; (5) Navigating
Contextual Factors; (6) Making Sense of Experiences and Resiliency. In
order to do justice to the participants’stories, this manuscript provides an
in-depth look into the first superordinate theme: Gender Identity Journey
and Coming Out. Table 2 provides a list of this superordinate theme, sub-
themes and sub-topics. This superordinate theme focused on the partici-
pants’journey to understanding their genders, how they expressed and
described their genders, how they navigated their genders within cultural
contexts, and they’re coming out stories. The following sections will pro-
vide an in-depth look at each of these sub-themes and topics, primarily
through the participants’own words.
Superordinate theme: gender identity journey and coming out
Sub-theme one: gender identity journey
Sub-topic one: realizing trans “was a thing”
Most participants described a moment when they realized that being trans-
gender and/or gender expansive “was a thing.”Participants learned about
transgender and/or gender expansive genders from friends, family, and the
media. An example by Henry highlights this experience:
They said:
In eighth grade, my one of my best friends came out as trans. Like he came out as a
trans guy. And I think I was one of, if not the first person he came out to when he
first came out …I knew for a while, that that was a thing. Like, before he came out,
I knew it was a thing. And then like when he came out, I was like, ‘Oh, this is really
a thing’…because when he came out, that kind of sparked me going into like, well,
am I a guy or girl or what? …At some point before my freshman year, I figured out
like ‘oh, nonbinary is a thing’and went with that.
Table 2 Superordinate Theme: Gender Identity and Coming Out.
Sub-themes Sub-topics
Gender identity journey Realizing trans “was a thing”
Discovering gender
Gender expression and descriptions Relationship to the label transgender
Navigating my gender within cultural contexts Learning and unlearning gender roles
Personal experiences with gender role enforcement
Reconstructing gender
Coming out Fears and anxieties
Deciding to come out
Navigating selectively coming out
Reactions to coming out
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 233
This story elucidates the process of how many participants learned about
transgender and/or gender expansive identities and how it was a moment
of realization that sparked them to recognize how those labels might fit
for them.
Sub-topic two: discovering gender
After learning that being transgender and/or gender expansive “existed,”
many participants shared how they connected those labels to their own
experience. Part of this process involved exploring, expressing, and
“googling”different gender identities.
This quote from Valdin highlights this process:
I started questioning my gender about in sixth-fifth- grade. And then I was like I
think I might be more male than female. And then, as I started to grow up, I was
like, I’m not either, and I’m both at the same time (laughs). I played around with
several labels, but like, ended up finding gender fluid to be the best one.
What this process demonstrates is a complex iteration of learning about
different gender identities, exploring what those labels mean, and then con-
textualizing those labels within the participants’own experiences.
Sub-theme two: gender expression and descriptions
Participants had many ways of describing and expressing their genders. An
example of describing and expressing gender comes from Mx. Peacock,
who shared that their gender “is complicated and …hard to determine a
lot of the time.”“I know I’m not a girl, does that count?,”they asked.
Elaborating further, Mx. Peacock explained:
Generally, if I can’t quite tell that generally means I’m both [a boy/girl]. But then
again like sometimes if I don’t really care, that probably means neither [boy nor
girl]. And then, for the one where I literally just like think to myself, ‘like do I want
a skirt or a dress or a shirt?’,I’ll visualize that in which one I’m drawn to if I
can’t tell.
This process highlights the complexity of gender identity development,
understanding one’s own gender, and the ways participants navigated
describing their gender identities. Part of this process involved being con-
nected to different types of gender expression, a “feeling,”and/or a felt
sense of knowing.
Sub-topic one: relationship to the label transgender
Lastly, numerous participants explored their relationship to the word trans-
gender itself. While some participants identified strongly with the label of
transgender for their identities, a third of participants felt differently: John
234 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
Joe, Zinniah, and Pringles. The main distinction these participants made
was that the label of transgender was either a societal label they felt forced
to identify with or it was a word that meant their transition process and
not their gender itself. Pringles described this for herself in-depth: “my gen-
der identity is just female straight up …trans is just an extra part.”She also
elaborated: “a lot of people see trans is actually part of their gender iden-
tity. When I, I mean, this is completely personal, but I view it more as like
just a process to get to your real identity.”Additionally, she explained: “I,
honestly, I just think it should be a …more widespread view. Because, I
mean, it is entirely separate. Because you could make the case that I was
assigned female at birth, and just with some extra spiciness to it.”Overall,
participants had unique and personal relationships to how they described
their gender identities, the labels they chose, and their relationship to the
word transgender itself. This highlights the complexity of gender and the
importance of understanding each individuals’experience.
Sub-theme three: navigating my gender within cultural contexts
Within this sub-theme, participants shared their gender identities as they
were located within various contextual factors, such as being within a cishe-
teronormative society. Relating their experiences and gender identity devel-
opment to these contextual factors was an important part of
their processes.
Sub-topic one: learning and unlearning gender roles
Participants shared how they navigated the traditional gender roles and
expectations in society with their own understanding of gender. This theme
will be contextualized by quotes from John Joe and Lynn. For John Joe, he
felt that: “breaking down toxic masculinity is really cool.”He also con-
nected his experience as a trans person to the societal messages that trans-
gender people struggle and are unhappy. As a happy trans person, he
stated: “a big fuck you to societal expectations that I am tans and happy.”
These quotes highlight the experiences John Joe had in re-defining his own
gender in the context of traditional and harmful messages; for him, finding
his own definitions offered a sense of freedom, pride, and resiliency. In
breaking away from traditional masculine gender roles, Lynn felt like he
was: “not enough of a jerk to be a guy.”Instead, he shared that he was
“quiet, and I care really a lot about like other people and making sure I’m
nice.”He celebrated his masculinity by going to orchestras with his dad.
These examples from Lynn also show how he was re-defining what it
meant to be a “guy,”often in stark contrast to traditional portrayals of
masculinity in United States culture.
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 235
Sub-topic two: personal experiences with gender role enforcements
While the participants were exploring and redefining how they understood
gender role expectations in society, they had to contend with the rigid
enforcement of the gender binary and gender role expectations from dom-
inant social and cultural factors. Many of these experiences were negative
and included stigma, discrimination, and forceful displays of “traditional”
gender roles. As an example, Mason shared: “there’s always like the stigma
around being feminine in any way if you were born male, and I was always
pretty feminine.”Although their parents did not follow traditional gender
roles, they were not immune to general societal and cultural messages.
Mason shared that they: “remember always wanting to like, it sounds so
clich
e, but I always wanted to like buy a Barbie doll. But I never asked for
it because I thought my parents would think it was weird.”When asked
where they thought this message came from, they shared: “it’s so prevalent
in media. I’m not shocked that I knew, and I just had that there, because
my parents never even enforced like any fucking gender roles on me.”This
experience highlighted how entrenched gender role expectations were in
society, even if one’s own household was accepting. This example highlights
the ubiquitous messaging in cultural, social, historical, and political con-
structions of gender.
Sub-topic three: reconstructing gender
In spite of having to navigate a cisheteronormative society, participants
continued to examine cultural, social, historical, and political messages by
deconstructing them and reconstructing how they understood their own
genders within these contextual factors. This included finding traditional
gender roles to be affirming at times, as well as claiming and celebrating
parts of themselves and their genders that society would deem inappropri-
ate for how to express their genders.
As examples, Zinniah and Debbie Reynolds both shared how they viewed
any traditional ‘male’qualities they embodied as them being “a badass girl,”
or “a strong woman,”respectively. Zinniah shared: “I do what I like, I
don’t care that woodworking is ‘manly’, I love it, so what, I’m a badass
girl.”Additionally, Zinniah described how she/it navigated the traditional
societal expectation that a person’s gender identity and gender expression
“align.”To this end, she/it stated: “my gender is separate from what I like,
I just do what I like,”and “I don’t really choose my interest anymore in
the female area, I just choose my interest with what I like. And I like
Woodworking.”Debbie Reynolds stated: “yes, I have a lot of ’male’qual-
ities. I, I don’t see that as me being androgynous I just see it as me being a
strong woman.”Both of these examples show how these participants had a
strong understanding of their gender identities and expression, and how
236 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
they differed from traditional social, cultural, historical, and political
expectations.
Sub-theme four: coming out
The third major subtheme of the participants’gender identity journeys was
the coming out process. Their experiences of coming out and the reactions
to their coming out varied widely. Participants shared how they decided to
come out, fears and anxieties they had, and fears of rejection and dehu-
manization that kept some participants closeted with certain people.
Sub-topic one: fears and anxieties
Many participants shared their fears and anxieties about the coming out
process, even if they assumed their parents would be supportive. An
example of this was Mason. Mason, who had been “out as non-binary
for …maybe half a year,”stated that coming out as non-binary was still a
scary experience even though they knew their parents would be supportive.
“I mean, it was still scary for me to like, come out, which is weird because
like, I knew they were going to be supportive, but it was still such as a
scary experience. They were just like (thumbs up),”they explained. When
asked where they thought this fear originated, they replied: “I think it’s
mostly just social in a way, because it’s just like, you spent so long trying
to figure it out for yourself. It’s hard to like tell other people. It feels very
personal.”This quote highlights the complexity of being vulnerable sharing
one’s gender identity journey process with others as well as internalized
messages from society about it being an anxious and scary process.
While Mason had a supportive experience when they came out, other
participants experienced intense fear and anxiety. For Debbie Reynolds, the
fears and anxieties about coming outlead to suicidal ideation. Debbie
Reynolds stated that she was afraid she was “gonna lose everybody,”if she
came out. Sharing her story, she said:
everything was going so bad that when I was in New York, it was literally when I
performed in Carnegie Hall. Um. (pause) I had (pause) planned to jump in front of
the subway on our way back from Carnegie Hall to the hotel. That was my plan. I’m
going to perform at Carnegie Hall, sweet, and I’ll kill myself. And I’ll, I would have
died after doing something that I was proud of myself for …they put me on hold,
and I came out. And was just like this too much. I can’t do it.
The fear of rejection and of losing others was overwhelming for Debbie
Reynolds. When she was able to seek help for her depression and suicidal
ideation, she was eventually able to come out as bisexual and as
transgender.
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 237
Sub-topic two: deciding to come out
Many participants knew they were transgender and/or gender expansive
long before they decided to come out. For many, there was a specific
inspiration and motivation to come out, usually involving planning around
timing. Lynn, who had two transgender siblings expressed this as his com-
ing-out inspiration: “every trans person in the house came out before me.
I’m like (sibling) came out and I’m like, come on, now I gotta.”Further
explaining, he stated: “I was planning on waiting to December and then
starting a new decade and now everybody else is out, so what the hell.”
While he had carefully crafted a plan on when to come out to his family,
seeing his other siblings come out and be accepted helped motivate him to
come out sooner. This was a common theme for other participants,
whether personally seeing family members be accepted for their trans-
gender and/or gender expansive identity, or seeing transgender and/or gen-
der expansive people living their truth, they felt inspired to also come out.
Sub-topic three: navigating selectively coming out
Coming out occurs numerous times throughout a person’s life. While most
participants were out in all spaces and people that they knew, two partici-
pants, Pringles and Zinniah were intentional and selective about their com-
ing out process. Participants came out to people where there was already
perceived safety, due to them having their own queer and/or transgender
identities or due to words and actions of allyship. At the time of data col-
lection, Pringles had not come out to her dad due to fear of rejection.
“That whole afraid of [not] being accepted by someone, you know, love,
that definitely applies to my dad,”she shared. She explained that her dad
“isn’t very open viewed”and “still a very traditional Christian at heart,”
which were perceived indicators of rejection. These experiences kept
Pringles from coming out to her father. Pringles’experiences navigating
perceived safety are important indicators as they were common undercur-
rents to many of the participants’experiences with deciding whether or not
to come out.
Zinniah was out to her/its family and some friends and was selective about
which people she/it came out to. Zinniah stated: “the reason why I don’tcome
out as trans to my friends or at school is not that I don’t feel safe. It’s because it
would change the way [people see me]. It’s really personal for me.”
Additionally, Zinniah did not want the label as trans to define her/it. “Idon’t
want people to be like, ’Oh, she’s a trans girl, by the way’,”she/it stated. While
Zinniah felt physically safe, the context of deciding who to come out to hinged
on fears of dehumanization and navigating difficult emotional situations.
These factors, coupled with Pringles’fears of negative comments and rejection,
238 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
provide important insight into the complex decision-making process TGEY go
through when deciding to come out and to whom.
Sub-topic four: reactions to coming out
Participants experienced a spectrum of responses to coming out as trans-
gender and/or gender expansive, which included unsupportive reactions to
supportive(ish) reactions. John Joe shared that while his dad was somewhat
supportive, his mom and brother did not acknowledge his transgender
identity. He stated that his family did not use his name and pronouns.
Outside of his family, he reported that his trusted adult was very supportive
of his transgender identity; she also consistently used his name and pro-
nouns. He felt very supported and celebrated by his trusted adult.
Mx. Peacock also experienced different reactions from different members
of their family. They stated: “both times I came out [my parents] bought
me like a cake to celebrate. The second time they bought me a cookie
from …this bakery [with the genderfluid flag on it].”While their parents
were supportive, there were also some growing pains. “My mom com-
plained about like the ‘they/them’thing for a while [because of the gram-
mar], but then she realized it was kind of making me sad so she stopped,”
they explained. As for extended family, Mx. Peacock shared that one set of
grandparents ‘loves everyone’and were supportive although did not under-
stand what it meant to be genderfluid. The other grandparents and Mx.
Peacock had a “balanced truce,”where there are some struggles, but they
mostly did not talk about Mx. Peacock’s gender identity.
Although many people in Henry’s life were supportive[ish], they stated
that their “grandpa on my dad’s side, um, is he had some issues with it.”
Further sharing about this experience, they described:
Oh, my God, he sent me this letter while I was here, I think, I think I threw it away.
I don’t know. I don’t remember. So, um, he sent me this letter. He was like: ’oh,
you’re too beautiful to be a boy.’’I’ll always remember you as my granddaughter’
and like, (sighs), what else did he say, like, (pause) ’if you’re confused, just have a
long, long think about it, because nature doesn’t make mistakes’. So I sent him back,
like three pages worth of explanation about what being transgender is. (laughs). He’s
actually better about it now …He still doesn’t want to call me Henry. But now all of
the concerns have been more on. He’s like really concerned about the fact that this is
going to like make my life harder, I guess. Like, he sent me a letter that was like, like
telling me like, you should get like a non, a non, non-gendered, like, nickname cute
nickname, and you should smile more and be nice to people. And I’m like (laughs)
(pause) I guess thanks? I don’t know …And now he’s been sending me a bunch of
letters about my future job prospects. So I guess we’re just ignoring it. Um. Which is
fine with me. (laughs).
This quote highlights the nuances and intricacies of how Henry navi-
gated coming out with their grandfather, and the responses their
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 239
grandfather gave. Entrenched in this quote are numerous societal myths
and harmful messages that many TGEY can experience when they
come out.
Valdin shared that he/they experienced a lot of struggles, including bully-
ing when he/they came out. “When I started getting bullied for it, I went
back into the closet right away, because people were not nice about it in
fifth grade,”he/they shared about the first time that he/they officially came
out. Continuing, he/they said: “so since sixth grade, I was on and off, but I
would wear skirts still.”While Valdin tried hard to protect himself/them-
selves by going back into the closet, he/they also fought hard to continue
to live as authentically as possible.
These experiences highlight the complex reactions participants faced
when coming out in various spaces in their lives. Only one participant,
Lynn, described experiences where he felt truly supported, accepted, and
validated in his identities since coming out. All other participants had vary-
ing responses, often ranging from supportive to unsupportive within their
own circles.
Discussion
Findings in the context of gender identity development and coming out
The findings present a nuanced and complex look into the gender identity
journeys and coming out stories of participants, including their gender
identity development, how they expressed their genders, and how they
navigated a cisheteronormative society. The participants’narratives provide
further evidence that gender identity development is a complex process
involving personal and social factors that challenge the traditional notions
of a binaried view of gender identity (Carrera et al., 2012; Nagoshi &
Brzuzy, 2010; Pullen Sansfac¸on et al., 2020). These stories also align with
work by Ehrensaft (2014,2017), who has found that as children grow up,
they construct and reconstruct how they understand their gender identities
and their gender expressions. Part of this process for participants was
learning about different types of gender identities, like transgender and/or
gender expansive ones, and then engaging in a reflexive an iterative process
as they deconstructed their own genders and reconstructed their new
understandings of self. Many of the participants first learned about trans-
gender identities within the binary and then about gender expansive identi-
ties, which has also been shown to be the case in the literature due to
increased societal and cultural awareness of gender expansive identities
(Factor & Rothblum, 2008; Pullen Sansfac¸on et al., 2020; The Trevor
Project, 2021).
240 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
Additionally, their stories of coming out are consistent with some of the lit-
erature. According to literature, many TGEY can experience rejection, mock-
ery, taunting, ignoring, abusee or harassment by their families and peers after
coming out (Grant et al., 2011; Grossman et al., 2005; Human Rights
Campaign Foundation, 2018). While most of the participants had relatively
supportive reactions by families when coming out, some experienced bullying
at school, rejection from certain family members, and harassment and discrim-
ination from peers.
Findings in the content of counseling
Gender affirmative care that allows for the authentic exploration of gender
identity outside of rigid, linear understandings of gender has been noted in
the literature as important process for supporting TGEY (Ehrensaft, 2017;
Pullen Sansfac¸on et al., 2020). Authentic gender expression in TGEY is a
protective factor against serious mental health concerns, such as suicidal
ideation and attempts (The Trevor Project, 2020). Counselors can use the
stories and information in this study to further inform their clinical work
with all youth; by creating a supportive and affirming environment for
youth to explore their gender identities, counselors can work toward ameli-
orating mental health concerns for this population and their fears of being
outed or that their counselors will not understand them (The Trevor
Project, 2020). Additionally, counselors can use this study in conjunction
with similar research to continue to advocate for the support of their
TGEY clients at home and in schools, where a majority of TGEY still
encounter harassment, discrimination, and non-affirmative environments
(The Trevor Project, 2021). Lastly, these findings contribute a nuanced col-
lection of the gender identity development processes and coming out proc-
esses of TGEY to the counseling literature by addressing the dearth of
literature exploring these topics in-depth with TGEY specifically.
Implications and directions for future research
There has been a continued call for increased research on the gender iden-
tity development of TGEY under the age of 18 in their own words since
the literature on this population is “in its infancy”(Pullen Sansfac¸on et al.,
2020; Singh et al., 2014; Turban & Ehrensaft, 2018). Since this study is the
first known IPA study that emphasizes the gender identity and coming out
experiences of TGEY in their own words, the results address the dearth in
the literature about these experiences by providing counselors with import-
ant stories to guide their work with this population. Future IPA research
could explore the experiences of Black, African American, Asian American,
JOURNAL OF LGBTQ ISSUES IN COUNSELING 241
and Pacific Islander TGEY, due to the dearth of those identities within this
study. Since data collection occurred during COVID-19, future studies
could explore similar research questions post-pandemic. Lastly, an import-
ant direction for future research would be to determine the impact learning
about TGEY has on the competencies of counselors.
Limitations
Although purposeful sampling was used to gain a wide representation of
TGEY and their intersecting identities, the study still lacks an inclusive rep-
resentation of persons of color. Three participants identified as bi-racial.
Therefore, the results of this study may not be transferable to TGEY with
additional intersecting racial and ethnic identities. Additionally, the partici-
pants were recruited from one state, and due to the social, geographic, and
political locations of the participants being limited to one state, the results
may not be transferrable to geographic locations with vastly different com-
positions. Lastly, due to COVID-19, data collection was moved to a virtual
platform, Zoom, instead of the planned in-person interview which likely
had an effect on the data collection process. Although it is impossible to
know to what effect, it is possible Zoom created increased or decreased
feelings of safety and trust with the researcher as opposed to the in-person
interviews that had been planned. One reason for this could have been that
participants were in their homes, where they might not have felt as safe to
share their stories with the researcher as they would have been in a confi-
dential location.
Conclusion
The purpose of this manuscript was to explore in-depth how TGEY experi-
ence their gender identities and coming out processes, as a part of a series
of manuscripts presenting themes on how TGEY experience their gender
identities and additional intersecting identities within current political,
social, cultural, and historical contexts. Many of the participants’experien-
ces strengthened and expanded upon findings in the literature. Results
from this study have a profound impact on counselors by increasing the
knowledge in the field around gender identity development and coming
out processes of TGEY. As such, counselors can use this information to be
supportive and affirming of the experiences of TGEY to best meet their
mental health concerns. Future studies can further these topics using IPA,
in the hopes to continue to strengthen the knowledge and awareness of
TGEY. The results paint an in-depth picture of how TGEY experience their
242 M. N. SALTIS ET AL.
gender identities and coming out processes framed within current context-
ual factors.
Disclosure statement
The authors have no conflict of interest to report.
ORCID
Michelle N. Saltis http://orcid.org/0000-0003-1902-9340
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