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Abstract

Humans maintain romantic relationships for sexual gratification, childcare assistance, intimate friendship, and a host of other interpersonal benefits. In monogamous relationships (i.e., exclusive courtship between two people) individuals agree that certain benefits of the relationship (i.e., sexual contact, material resources, emotional support) may only be shared within the pair-bond. That is, each partner is expected to maintain the relationship by provisioning sufficient benefits to satisfy the needs and desires of their partner. By comparison, consensual non-monogamy (CNM) is a collection of relationship practices and structures whereby partners agree that it is permissible to have sexual contact or form intimate attachments with other people to satisfy these interpersonal needs and desires. In this chapter, we review literature examining who pursues CNM, how people who practice CNM derive and maintain satisfaction within their relationship(s), and when and how these relationships persist. We consider the role of CNM relationship maintenance practices, personality features that predispose people to CNM, and psychological and social barriers (e.g., jealousy, interpersonal conflict, sexual health anxiety, condemnation) that prevent people from pursuing or maintaining CNM. Throughout, we consider how CNM compares to infidelity as an alternative strategy for pursuing multiple, concurrent romantic or sexual relationships. We close by discussing current directions in the scientific study of CNM and highlight which gaps in the literature are most pressing to address.
Maintaining Multi-partner Relationships:
Evolution, Sexual Ethics, and Consensual Non-monogamy
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Abstract
,%!":"%%%%
"!"!."1!=
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9.$!!.:%%"%
9!!"$!1%!99
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"%9!=?99!!-
%"(!%!%%!$"!!
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::$%?!!!"!(
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!%%%:!-%.$%%%
%"%$"(9%!!

Keywords: %2$"$!%!
E$!!$
2!"%:9..9
9%%!!$=..9
$9!!?%%C$"%!99.2
!.$9%$=,%$<%*A'%%
<*0?2!.%"%"$$
%%.%%%!%""!%
!!%"9:!=9?=7
0+A**?$9!.!%
%.%:!=!?$!7$
%%."%.$:9!"!-
.%%""
".""9!!9$
9$!2!"%!
%.!=9%A*+?!%""!9
=<'%00AF<'!***?%"
!%=,$008?7"9%%
%"%9!G!":2!%:!
9!G!%=:%"%A(!
A*+?4:!"G"!.%:$
9%%$=9%$""!?
1"9G!.%99!
%%9%$9
.?!2!=."""??%
!"
Infidelity
H":%"%%.$2
!=(2%0)0A'068A'%**)?."$"
92=,*0A'*0?1"$9:2!
%!%%9:%$2!=?!1
!!$="!%$A%%
* ?"":2!:%7..%!
!%%.$2!='%"<00+?%
%%$=/**6A'%*AI%**)?%%=
<*0?:%!=%A$<-**?
:=**AF</%***?1".
!""$%%%%!$
."%!1"$9!"%"%%%=
":2!!?9%!.9
'%$%!!%9.!G:2!
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%%:%!$?9%"!
=%%$A%?
7.%"!G"%$"""$1"
99.2!!G%!:2!!=?9
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E$4:!99!:%%9
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 ""%9.$!!."!%
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!:%$%%$"9..
L.$!G%%
1"$:%"%L.$>%
"%:!".!2.
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*0?.$"%=0)0A#</** A'!<
0)?"%!=(%<%*6?"$!=
**8A<*6?%"$":!%.$
M%C$N=-%<!*0?9.$!$.!
.E$!!!%.9$"1"$$!!
""!$%!!$."$=O**+?
:."E%%%%!%
%=#%**?1"$$.$!"%$%"%!
%C$.9!=</.**0?%
!%"!!!=!2.?9
."
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9%%%"%!!"$%.
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%$.$.$2!%=/.<4*)AF$
***?."""%=9!
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%%%!="$?=%$<%*A<
*6?
Consensual non-monogamy: An alternative to infidelity
(2$=(?$"%
"2!(%%"%!!%%%
=!$$!!9M!$N!%$?9.$
!!.:%%"%9
!!=**6?$%!G:2!.
!!"9"!%E%"
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.2+P"&'((!!8P
(!"=4.,<4.*0A
*)A.* A'Q*+A,!*+A*+.?'
"!%""%.9!!(
!9"$!!&',!
=*+?=*)?"(!9$
!!"$$..:=* A.
* ?9!%!%$=P?!!9"$.:=,!
*+.?
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<*8?'9!%!9:2!:
%$::!%$!%$%%9%
":2!!=**8A%* ?H!!
:2!:99%!G!%!=/**6A
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!$!%$%"!$!
=<**A%* ?/(""%
%!$!!!!9%%
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=,<,*0AI:*?-
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="%?J99
!9!.$!$!"%$2
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%:!%"!9!$$
%9="9?!!=$
!!$"%$?$.
!""%2!$!%=%<#!!
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!G"%=M%N2$?7:2
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%!%%"(%%%$.:2!%
C$=%** AI<%**+?:!%%=($
*A*8A!<($*0A#<!
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"!%E%"2!=**?4
:!(=*6?"!%%(%$9
".%""$:2!%.
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!%=,**A%** A
*+?!"!%C$=I<%**+?$
!!!"%".%"!=
#!*)?=*?9"!!!%%(!
%!!%"%"
!7.$".!G%!!!%%
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.!"$
>:%!!9!%%(%%
!J!%"%%.$2!4
:!!!!%%(!":!%%
%!""=($*A*8A
:%!:#H<4%*+?".
9!"%%"9:2!!=-%2(**?
!E."=:!%9?""!
!=*+A<*0.A
$*8A*0A!$*0?4!!9!%%
(!!%%!..!9
!=($*A*8A.<*8?
,9E$"!!99!
(.""E%""%%
!!=*+?"$!""9
""!=*0A*0.A%9<(..* A
*0?"E%%9$=*+?
:!9::!=$*8?1(!!!
!"%$"!!=*)A.<
*8?#!9!%%(9%"$%
!2!!.(!!!%!!
%,9.!%""$%
!E$=%%$A!.?9(!
..
/!!!%%(!%:2!"$2"
!."!2$!!
9!.!
=*+?"""%.9(!!
"%"E%$"=$"!!!%%(!.
!$!?7$!.!9!$!"
!"9!.2%!
2!$!=*0?"(!
9%"!$=%!%$?!9
"$=:2!.."!?9
9.!.$!
"H%99!$!!!!
!E$=%.%%?9!$!
$!:%$9%$!=
*+A*0.A<**?792
.!!=!$!?"$
!,9!!!!
!%%"$(!.$"""%9"
!!!!%%!2.7""%.9"$
("%B!!9!%%(%!=?G%
"!9L9%!%!%%C"!%
":2!!2!!E$L99%"$

Factors that Impact CNM Relationship Maintenance
/"(G%!%%9%!!%%!
!%.$"$=.""%%
!%%$.?2!"%
%9!!G:!%"($:!99!%%
(!%"$!!!
Individual Differences
/!!!%%$(!!
!$$!!G9"!:%$#!%
!:!%9%%!
"(=*+.?=*8?"(!!
9$!!%$/%
"9!%%"%!
:!%%="9%<'**+A'<
,0)+0))?7:!!9%$%
"!=%**?"(
!!$.:!%$"%!!%%!
%%9=<**0A><'** A#
**?
9!!99(!!
9(='<H*)?.9!
%9%:$=%$
%:A'!<F00?!%:""%
%:$9!%%:$9=!!**0A
'%**8?99!92$9
92$%=**A(<
-*+A'<H*+.?(!!!9
!%%($%:.2
%!=**?!:
!:='%<(!.**?1
!!!9%%:$
:!%!=-.*8?!:$%.=
<*6A*+A<!*+?
!=4%*0?4:!#/!"=**)?"
!!9%%:$9$
!$99%%:$9$
%%!7%$%
%:$9!$L!9
!G%:$%4:!$$=*?
%%$%$"!9%%:9
%"9.$!9%%:,99
!%9!.$!9%%:$7
!9%:...%%%G
.%$!"$"9($%
!"%"99%":2!:$7
!!.$9(!9%!%
%:$!""%!=
*6A!<'*+?.E$""=
*0?4:!99:9!!
($!!"%=!<'*+A
*0?7!!9"(!$
"""$.$%!%.%=
!G?!
/$"%9%%"$!!(>
!!9%$:!$:!9:$
=/*8?!!%!9$!!
!%:!%92$=7!*)**?$
C%2$.!!$1
'H=*)?"P"99!2
.!.$"(:!%'!>2'=*0?
" )P"!9%$!$
!.9$!"(!(
2=*)?,=**?
9$2!!!9"%
%"%%:!%!9
7$!!$.%!.!%"%%
.$2!!.$.%$$9
:!%
':$$%9!%$%!%$!%%
((!:F7ST!9
(=(*6?$!.(!=
* A.* A,!*+.?!"":!%9C$
=C**AI**A,**AI**?!
%!:!%%=(!)0
?H"%$:!""%9%9
:$!=9:!%
2:%?%!.:2$!%!!"%=
'*?7:%"%$.%"!G:J
%4:!'%=*?".:
!999%%.!G:"$
999!#9:$.
"G:2$!%!"%:7F7ST
$.$%:2!!.C$
:!%:2!:%!!=**?"
&'!= + + 9?2:9!
$:%%:$:!!F
!=99!"$
:!%.2:J?$9""
:=?%.9!"9:%"%
!%%=/U*)A*0?7:%!%%
$$"!$2:%!""%!
"%=#%**A'$**A<C**?
9%!%%".F7ST(%"
:!:$!!!%"!
9"%=(!)?
Social Stigma
'.9""%E$!%%"('(
.962 P"!!!$!!:!%"
%1G!($=*?"
9!$!$!2
!24:!!!9!%$.
9$!.$!$:"
9=*)?!%!"
C.%!!!$9
!!%!!9%%"(
!!%!%$:$
"%7:!!9.9(!%!
!9"""9%2
!"=E00)?1(!!G!%!%"9
!!!%""(!4:!F2C
(!.=*6?!!%!9%.!
!$!9%!!
.#%!!%!"
!%.(!V99
!.""$!%9
"9V%!!1$!%!
!$!!$!9!!.$
.%!$!!.%%9
!!"$%:=%* ?!%.$
'71=*)?9%$:!9$$
:=.'Q*+?
/%%$.$MN"%
!9!.::%$=($
*+AR*8?($.%.$
!%!($=>** ?1(%
$.$""!!!$:%!
".%!!1"(9!$%%$
%!G!".1.."
9!9".9(
7!!.$!.=9?9!"
$""$9(=9
(!9(!W
:%AX.!%!?!!"
9%!.=9
%!9!$%!9
%!?7$"!%!9".
9(!%":%!=
9%92:%%?7
!.$(!".$992%!9
"%%%J:!99!!.%$
"%$%:%!
%:%!.,":
%!$!.%!%"$
%=$<-**A**?.%=,
*+?!J%%=I%<'*?
!.%.9=**?$%!%=..
$<9*+?19%($.!%
%.$$92!$=**?9
!!9!%%(
%!!.%%!1$"!!
(%!!!%%2
9%%%"M""$N=!.
!2W2X
!?(94**6AF%*8?7"
!!$!.%$:$"$.9!%
=%9?"":%!
,9:%!%!92.#!9%!"
!$!%.$"2."$=-
**?:%=**+?9!E
!".=%.$%%?=***?1"
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!%$"$$!%"19!%"2
%%:.9!"""%"%=
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%$!!$!
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"(!%%.%!%!!%
%!!%!%$
!%:"%"%%!
(!!"!$%%!$%%
%4:!:!%"$""%9(!!%
$%=I**?%$!%"%
=%:%AI*0?
!%!"!$%%!='%%*)?
'$.$!99(7"
"""$$!!92!
"!%$4:!!!!
%$J$!%%$"(!$!
=*+A*0?#!!9!E$"%9
%!=4<(!.**8?!!(!!
%%$"%9%$%!!$!
=*+A*0?1!.%%$:!.""%
.9!$2!$!#!$"%2!$
!"!.%%$9!%$#$
"!!9!9":
!.%%"%%="$9
%?'%%$$%.9!.$%9
%!"=**0A9?'$"
999(7%"!%$%%
9!!%!=!!?"9!
-:!%9"!=%?%!%.
%%=!"%!%?9$
"!9:!%9
7.(9!!.%
9"!%%=*+?""%%%%9
2$=!%$!$$!!?*2$!
&'%%$!9.$9%%9
%!%.""!!9!=/!08 A#%
*0A#9<7!!**6?%9"(!
."",=*6?":!"!!99:!$
!".!$!%%!!9
"9!$$9!$"'$=*?"
(!9:.$!%!9!=
?92$1"(
$!"%2!
Future Directions
7%($"$"
"$2!-G9G%%
.%!"$.9!%%!9
!%.B?9%2!!%
!%%=C$%":2!!%?!
!?9G!"2
!%=%:$%"??9:!
=%?!9!!%%.:2!!
:!%!%!!%=%!G
%?,9.:(!
!%1%99""%
%"(
42$!%"2%
2$="$%?9(="9<
'!?7"!%"9%""%
.!!!%"%""2$4:!
%!%%$!$%%!M"$N
:%$9!G!=/%<%.
**?&".!"%""%"
!%""$(.1"9
""2$9""$9%!%%!%9
!"%J%=*+?
9:!"%!%%2%2
$9%$""'9
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"$9:"%".!%%(=
**?7!.$9!!%!$!"
!!$.E
'%%(%%$"
.9"!%%!$$9!
!M%%N="9!9%
!9%9!:9!A$<
'*)?7%9%$!"(%
1%9""%!%%%%"
!!%""$!"(!%
%""%"%!%"%$!"(
7!:!.%%$""%9%
$!"(%%%%"!%%"4
:!$"!!%!99!
"E%$99%$".$!"(6)P!
"..!!8)P"..
!$8+P".98P".%%
!=**?79"2.$9$
!".""(%!9"9A
9!!9"(C$"!%!V
":$V!".
.%$!""%2$4""
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%$!"(""!"!!$9%
7"(..!"
!G!!%"!1%$%!
%"$.!"%2""%
9%!G!%!%.E%%!%=
<'* ?1%9:%""%%%!
9!7!.%99!!!%%(
""!%!"MN%"!9%
%.$.:!%""%%4:!,""
G=**?$":2:!8P
!%!"=!.
!9!9?1(9C9
%"!.9!..$"H"
%"%!V!"
9%.9%%!%"
9$"$%%=-,$</9*?
4%(9.%2
%9%""%9(!%
99!!9!!!%!
!!$=*0?%%"!!%
$"!!99%!!9$
!%!=6+P?9."%!!."
92"92!7%"$%!
"%"!2!A99!!!
%:"%92!:!%%7
$"$(%9!!
!%$":"%,9"
$9E=9?%%%9
:!%!%!$%9""
$!"(""C%%".
%!:%"9!!%%
"!"($V""!%
%%!%$!"9%MN.$$
"%7%"%!9%!(
""%%!9$.%A9%.
"%"E$%"!!!(
%C%"!!.%2
$.=,""<**A#**6?
4:!!(!$=%
E9!.J%$.""2
9%!?."..$7E"
9M"$N(!F$!"
E"!A9%:!9
!%%(%""$!%""$(9
$!!(!9%
4"%2!:=""!
:?$.!"%(%($
"!:=7!(!.$-<**?A9
!%"!9(%9=,.C<F
*6?!!=,* ?!$$=-%2(**?9
%$":2=F7?92=68P?"9"
.(!!:!%F7!$=7!
**?/"2!:%!"!
%$2="%$!%%(
:!%9!:?4%99:!
9%2!:!9(99!:%$""%
(!$%4:!!:.9$.$9%!
:$$..$!
.9$99%%!!
!%V.$%!%!E$.$
.E""!!%$"$E$2
!%"!!"""
':"%!!!
$9.4:!.G=0)*?1
"(!"$"%!%!%
!%!".%19
"!.:$%$!!!
%G:!F$!%=!$.
!?"!%!".%$
9%=.</900)?A9$"
!$!E$"9%!%
!%%!$!E$"
%$!%more%%$!=*+?7
!$%%!"!$.!%""$(
%:B922!%"!$
$.!%!7$!"$!!
"!$!!$(!!"%
C$%"!":!$"!%!9$
..%%%"$!$."9.%$.
!"$
$%9::%(.$
.%%%(->1V->%
1%%%V%%$
%%!9%$%"9MN!.
!$!!!%%($.!:9
!:!=($*.A
*)?$.!%$"9J!%$$
%H.!!"!!!%%(
!"%"%A9"
.$".$"%/$!9
%%$!C:%"(.
E!!""%$%E$"(
!%%%%%
Conclusion
-$.""9(%%"M
N=(2%0)0A'068A'%**)?"%%
%"%"=<'%*0?':.%(
!!%!%%"%"
2!7%!:9""
"(=!$$9!!?!9!%%(
%$%%:2!%99!9
%%7!9%!!%.
"9"!G%!:2!:J!
7$!!%"%%.$2!.%
!""%%"%G%%!
!#%9.$%$2
!%L!$%!$%!
"$.!G%$9!2!1""%
!%!!$%.9!=
%:$A%AA:?"%=
!!"!A2!$%?!!
$!!%"9!2.$(
"$
1"(."%$!%"!!
$.".!!."$1
%!%$.:."%!%"%%
.$"$:%!%2!/
!!%""%!.!%
%!!.99!!7$!!
"&'1"2!!.%$%!!!
9!2$%$91%%%!%
$%9:!%!!%=%%
!.?:!%!!.$"
9!=?1%2!":!
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TherapyZ38=?0)2*0
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sociobiologyZ35=?2
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$ZScienceZ290=8 0 ?6)2+*
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Psychology
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Journal of Personality and Social Psychology90=8?+8L+)
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#.'%"7<R2,I=*+?#2
"!%"!!G"!"%ZPersonality and
Social Psychology BulletinZ43=? *+2 +
#!'#%>F<#F=*)?
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%9ZInternational journal of environmental research and public
healthZ17=6?86)
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%!%$%%!BJournal of
Social and Personal Relationships27= ?88L88
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-%!Frontiers in Psychology10
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... Even though these individuals tend to have similar experiences to those of their monogamous counterparts, they are heavily stigmatized by others (Mogilski et al., 2021). Such experiences seem to originate in the perception that consensual nonmonogamy departs from mononormativity (i.e., the premise that monogamy is the only valid relationship configuration; Conley et al., 2013;Hutzler et al., 2016), undermines monogamy (Mogilski et al., 2021), and is practiced by "inferior" people . ...
... Even though these individuals tend to have similar experiences to those of their monogamous counterparts, they are heavily stigmatized by others (Mogilski et al., 2021). Such experiences seem to originate in the perception that consensual nonmonogamy departs from mononormativity (i.e., the premise that monogamy is the only valid relationship configuration; Conley et al., 2013;Hutzler et al., 2016), undermines monogamy (Mogilski et al., 2021), and is practiced by "inferior" people . For example, individuals tend to hold more negative beliefs about CNM partners (e.g., Burleigh et al., 2017;Grunt-Mejer & Campbell, 2016;Moors et al., 2013), are less willing to accept a CNM person in their close network (Balzarini et al., 2018), and are more likely to dehumanize CNM partners (Rodrigues et al., 2018). ...
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Studies have shown that romantic partners in consensual non-monogamous (CNM) relationships are targets of stigmatization. However, little is known about the underlying mechanisms and the conditions under which such stigmatization occurs. In two experimental studies (combined N = 772), we asked participants to read the description of two partners in a relationship (monogamous vs. open relationship vs. polyamorous) and make a series of judgments about those partners. Overall results showed that CNM (vs. monogamous) partners were perceived as less trustworthy and as having more sexual health concerns (Studies 1 and 2), and as being less committed and less sexually satisfied (Study 2). Results from a conditional mediation analysis (Study 2) further showed that participants with negative attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having less conservation and more openness to change values, which was then associated with more stigmatization. In contrast, participants with positive attitudes toward consensual non-monogamy perceived CNM (vs. monogamous) partners as having more openness to change values, which was then associated with less stigmatization. Taken together, these results extended the literature focused on prejudice, discrimination, and stigmatization of minority groups and highlighted key elements that can be used to buffer stigmatization.
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