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Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/aptDOI:
2640-8031ISSN:
MEDICAL GROUP
Contents of the manuscript
Defi nition, differential diagnosis, and clinical context
The behavior of voluntarily and knowingly inducing one’s
partner to perform sexual acts with other people, to receive
emotional and sexual gratifi cation, is labeled with the English
term (but of French derivation) improper, derogatory and
incorrect of “cuckolding”, also if the correct terminology of
clinical matrix is “troilism” [1,2].
The terminological error, committed in almost all revisions
and published research, can be deduced from the same sexual
activity carried out by the couple in those contexts [1,3].
Abstract
Starting from the concept of “cuckold” and having placed the substantial differences with the “troilism”, despite the terminological error committed by almost all the
researchers who consider these two terms of synonyms, we proceeded to analyze the clinical, neurobiological and relational profi les, to then investigate the borderline
forms of troilism: Open couples, polygamy and polyamory. By analyzing the possible etiological causes, which are the basis of these manifestations, it was concluded
that probably the multifactorial is the most suitable answer, with a clear orientation towards the psychological causes deriving from a post-traumatic stress adaptation
(substantially in the fi eld of paraphilias or narcissism with adaptive forms, therefore self-destructive).
Mini Review
Cuckolding and Troilism:
defi nitions, relational and
clinical contexts, emotional
and sexual aspects, and
neurobiological profi les.
A complete review and
investigation into the
borderline forms of the
relationship: Open Couples,
Polygamy, Polyamory
Giulio Perrotta*
Psychologist sp.ed Strategic Psychotherapist, Forensic Criminologist, Jurist sp.ing SSPL, Lecturer,
Essayist, Italy
Received: 27 June, 2020
Accepted: 07 July, 2020
Published: 08 July, 2020
*Corresponding author: Giulio Perrotta Psychologist
sp.ed Strategic Psychotherapist, Forensic Crimi-
nologist, Jurist sp.ing SSPL, Lecturer, Essayist, Italy,
Tel:+393492108872;
E-mail:
ORCID: https://orcid.org/0000-0003-0229-5562
https://www.peertechz.com
038
https://www.peertechz.com/journals/annals-of-psychiatry-and-treatment
Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
In “troilism”
a) There is the conscience and will, between the two
components of the couple, to share the sexual
experience, in a more or less egalitarian way;
b) The sexual experience is lived as a couple of game and
for this reason shared in all its moments, from the
predation of the third component (bull, in the context
of threesome) or of a couple (in the context of foursome
or quadrilateral) to the realization specifi cally of sexual
acts, up to the emotional and emotional manifestation
experienced before, during and after. With the addition
of the fi fth component, the experience turns into an
orgy (if they both play) or gangbang (if the taxable
person is only a member of the couple);
c) The emotional and emotional manifestations
experienced before, during and after the sexual
experience are shared between the two partners of the
main couple, and enrich the experiential background
of the individual components and of the couple itself,
consolidating the relationship and love relationship;
d) Between the couple’s partners there is a precise code
of conduct, pre-established and organized in detail,
which makes the experience pleasant, consciously
desired and managed in such a way as not to deprive
the relationship bond of dignity, honesty, sincerity and
loyalty and loving existing;
e) Although the desire for triology is almost always stronger
in one of the two partners, understanding, listening and
respect for the other partner make this emotional and
sexual experience capable of strengthening the bonds
and satisfying the individual components of the couple,
as long as there is awareness of one’s emotions, needs
and expectations, and that they are compatible with
those of the partner, in a game of communion, altruism,
and completeness, without prejudice or preconceptions.
The lack of awareness or willingness or the purpose of
satisfying the partner without a real sharing of ends
will lead the couple to live the experience negatively,
causing irremediable emotional breakdowns.
f) The sexual act performed by one of the two partners
of the main couple is not experienced by the other as
a violence to his person or as a humiliation capable of
provoking denigration, as emotionally the couple is
placed on a relational level and emotionally different
from that of the subjects who interact with them and
therefore they are experienced as objects of pleasure, as
tools that have the purpose of provoking pleasure.
In “cuckolding”
There is no conscience and will, between the two
components of the couple, to share the sexual experience, and
one of the two subjects is totally or partially unaware of the
betrayal consumed or consumed (possibly, passively accepts it
or is part of a couple agreement where sexual practice is the
shared element and not the emotional experience itself);
The sexual experience is not experienced as a couple game
but as a violence to the person who betrays trust and relational
and loving bond (eventually, the conscious partner accepts
the situation because it is convenient for maintaining the
couple’s relationship but not it is experienced as an exploratory
moment of the emotions and sensations, needs and needs of
the individual parts);
The emotional and emotional manifestations experienced
before, during and after the sexual experience are not shared
between the two partners of the main couple (or at most the
object of discussion is the carnal act itself and the use of the
partner as means to achieve the realization of paraphilia),
and therefore do not enrich the experiential baggage of the
individual components or of the couple itself, disintegrating
the relationship bond from within and loving, often with
unawareness of the other partner. In this way, the lawyer
is weighed down by feelings of guilt and shame that can
irreparably infl uence the relationship and feelings;
Between the partners of the couple, there is no pre-
established code of conduct, organized in detail (or if there
is a code of conduct this is expressed - in the best of cases -
in the general and essential rules, sometimes modifi ed from
time to time in based on specifi c needs and almost always
by one of the two components of the main couple), since the
sexual experiences lived by one of the two partners (or both
separately) are characterized by being secret and hidden (or in
any case not open and shared). The borderline form between
cuckolding and troilism is precisely that of the “conscious
cuckold”: in this case, one of the two partners or both are
aware of the respective betrayals of the other (“open couple”)
but both decide not to share the experiences and not to speak
about it, if not occasionally and to organize the couple’s daily
life. However, this hypothesis falls fully into the category
of “cuckoldism” since the absence of secrecy (given by the
awareness of betrayal) still affects negatively (since there is
always a lack of sharing of experience and of a common code of
conduct, which continue to harm the couple from the inside);
although this solution may seem suitable to continue the
experience of the love relationship, perhaps in crisis, in reality,
these circumstances undermine the relationship from the
inside, making it implode slowly until one of the two or both
will fi nd the ideal partner for the fi nal decision of concluding
the relationship or marriage experience with the main partner;
In the couple, the sharing of experience and therefore
the constructive moments of listening and mutual respect of
emotional manifestations is missing in whole or in part;
The sexual act performed by one of the two partners of the
main couple is experienced by the other as a violence to the
person or as a humiliation capable of provoking denigration
since emotionally it is not the couple who plays or decides the
rules but it is only one of the two components and the other
is the victim of the game or the clandestine relationship. The
word used in this context, “cuckold” (masculine) or “reverse
cuckold or cuckquean” (feminine), which derives from the
medieval French “cucuault”, literally means “the bad cuckoo”,
about the female of the cuckoo who is said that often changes
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Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
the companions or the habit, scientifi cally observed, of the
cuckoo to leave the eggs in the nest of another bird.
Troilism, in particular, it can be of three types
a) “Relational”, when the search for pleasure from one
of the two partners or both is aimed exclusively at the
courtship and attraction phase, never moving on to
the sexual act, not even in a simple form (for example,
sexual foreplay).
b) “Sexual” (Polygamy), when the pursuit of the pleasure of
one of the two partners or both is aimed at carrying out
sexual acts, more or less complete, in simple or complex
form. Polygamy can manifest itself in several forms.
- Type A: is the exclusively sexual form, in which the
two partners of the couple seek and mature sexual
experiences without interacting with outsiders, except
marginally and minimally for the approach and never
after the completion of the sexual act. It happens
especially in the fi rst polygamous experiences and in
the threesome hypothesis, as the lack of experience or
the fear (for jealousy or possessiveness) that the third
party could interfere in the relationship life of the couple
pushes the partners to deny any possible relationship
except to the extent of play as a couple and in contexts
strictly you decide by the couple itself.
- Type B: is the attenuated sexual form, in which the two
partners open the sexual relationship also to profi les
of friendly acquaintance with the third party or the
couple, interacting in a unitary way, as if the couple
were a monad. It happens above all in the consolidated
polygamous experiences and in relationships with
other couples or after a long time that the third
component plays with the couple and has demonstrated
its seriousness and its ability to respect the rules, but
always within precise relational stakes imposed by the
couple.
- Type C: it is the pure sexual-relational form, in which
the two partners open themselves completely to the
third or the external couple, establishing friendly
relationships also independent of the good-natured
control of the partner of the main couple, in a regime
of mutual respect and trust. It happens when the
main couple has experience gained over time and the
outsiders are subjects of extreme trust, capable of
respecting the rules given over time, including those
implicitly imposed without formal sharing. However,
this form excludes any relationship of a sentimental
nature, contemplating only the friendly and affective
relational forms.
c) “Sentimental” (Polyamory), when the pursuit of the
pleasure of one of the two partners or both is aimed at
establishing with the third party or the couple or more
external partners a love relationship contemporary to
the main one, in agreement with the partner principal
who is aware of it and accepts its consequences.
Polyamory can manifest itself in different forms:
- Type A: it is the attenuated form, in which the two
partners open themselves to a love relationship with
a third external subject, in a subordinate condition
concerning the main couple. Although the lawyer
that is established is of a love type, this happens in a
unidirectional way towards only one of the two partners
and the main couple considers the lawyer subordinate
to the love relationship lived between the two main
partners.
- Type B: it is the simple form, in which the two partners
open up to a loving relationship with a couple who plays
the role of external subject, in a subordinate condition
concerning the main couple. Although the lawyer who
is established is of the amorous type, this happens
unidirectionally but towards and both partners: A + B
are the main couple, C + D are the external couple; A
lovingly relates to D and B relates to C, in a continuous
affective, sexual and sentimental relational exchange.
- Type C: it is the complex form, in which the two partners
open themselves to a love relationship with a third
party or a couple without subordination. Everyone is put
on the same level and everyone can relate to everyone,
where any one-way exclusivity (A-D / B-C) does not
affect the intensity of the feelings felt. Therefore, the
love relationship of the main couple is on the same
relational and sentimental level as the third or the
couple.
In the animal kingdom, this practice is rather studied about
fertilization possibilities and the increase in opportunities for
procreative purposes, especially in mammals and birds [4] and
less in the marine kingdom [5].
About human beings, the topic under examination has been
debated above all in humanistic and literary fi elds [6], while
clinical areas have begun to interest you recently, especially
in terms of relational areas, fl ows of consciousness, and
emotional material [7].
The etiology of the phenomenon and neural correlates
The etiology of Troilism is debated in the scientifi c
community, precisely because there are no statistically
signifi cant data or oriented research; the possible causes, on a
theoretical basis and the basis of some hypotheses, are mainly
two [3]:
1) A genetic predisposition (biological cause);
2) A post-traumatic stress adaptation that occurs in the
context of paraphilias or narcissism to adaptive forms,
therefore self-destructive (psychological cause).
Concerning the fi rst hypothesis (biological cause), the
scientifi c community agrees in considering these practices
a real form of paraphilia and therefore, in the absence of
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Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
targeted research, the hypothesis that these subjects have the
same neural correlates must be considered plausible of the
declaredly paraphilic subjects. However, the research does
not fully clarify the reasons why certain subjects suffer from
certain paraphilias and not all of them, thus hypothesizing a
contributing cause with personal episodes experienced by the
subject capable of orienting the person more towards one or
more types of paraphilia [8]. However, some research lays the
foundations for interesting intuitions that could prove to be
exact; in particular:
a) Galanine is a peptide that regulates the release of
pituitary hormones, nutrition, and reproductive and
parental care behaviors. In teleostal fi sh, a higher
expression of galanine is associated with reproductively
active territorial males. Previous transcriptome studies
of the lowland background (Porichthys notatus), a highly
vocal teleostal fi sh with two male morphs that follow
alternative reproductive tactics, show that galanine is
upregulated in the preoptic-anterior hypothalamus
(POA-AH) area of nesting, courtship type I males during
spawning compared to type II cuckolding males. Females
differ dramatically from both male morphs in the number
of somata that express galanine and in the distribution
of fi bers, especially in the vocal-acoustic nuclei of
the brain stem and in other sensory integration sites
which also differ, although less widely, among the male
morphs. Double-labeling shows that mainly separate
populations of POA-AH neurons express galanine and
arginine-vasotocin or isotocin non-peptides, homologs
of arginine vasopressin and mammalian oxytocin that
are widely implicated in the neural mechanisms of
vertebrate social behavior, including specifi c actions of
the morph on vocal neurophysiology in ensign. Also,
a small population of POA-AH neurons that coexpress
the neurotransmitter galanine and -aminobutyric acid
appear to be implicated in these cuckolding processes:
the results indicate that galanine neurons in mid-
vessel fi sh likely modulate activity large-scale cerebral,
including targeted effects on the vocal, sensory and
neuroendocrine motor systems; they are unique from
populations that do not express peptide and play a role
in specifi c behaviors for men [9].
b) reproductive success is based on the coordination of
social behavior, such as the defense of the territory,
courtship, and mating. Species with extreme variation
in reproductive tactics are useful models for identifying
the neural mechanisms underlying the plasticity of
social behavior. The lowland midshipman (Porichthys
notatus) is a teleostat fi sh with two male reproductive
morphs that follow widely divergent developmental
trajectories and show alternative reproductive tactics
(ART). Type I males defend territories, woo females
and provide paternal care, but resort to the horned
if they cannot maintain a territory. Type II males
reproduce only through the horned. Using RNA
sequencing, we proceeded to study the differential
expression of the transcription in the Preoptic-Anterior
Hypothalamus Area (POA-AH) of courting type I males,
type I cuckolding males, and type II cuckolding males.
Unexpectedly, the differential expression POA-AH was
more strongly coupled with behavioral tactics than with
morphs. This included a series of transcripts implicated
in the hormonal regulation of vertebrate social behavior
[10].
On the other hand, concerning the second hypothesis
(psychological cause), referring to a post-traumatic stress
adaptation [11] that takes place in the context of paraphilias
[8] or maladaptive narcissism, drawing on psychodynamics
and clinical psychology. On this theoretical basis, the causes
of Troilism seem to be more coherent and compatible with
the behavioral manifestations of the subjects who adhere
to this vision of couple’s life (compared to the advanced
neurobiological hypotheses in the absence of targeted clinical
studies) and therefore [12].
a) “Unconscious desire for fertility”, which would push the
woman (in search of motherhood) and the man (in search
of fatherhood, without taking on the responsibility
of being the biological father) to seek sexual activity
with third parties the satisfaction of this inner energy
[13]. This hypothesis ceases when relationships are
protected or there is no male ejaculation in the vagina.
The possible unprotected relationship in the presence
of the use of an oral contraceptive does not exclude this
hypothesis, as the unconscious desire could be that of
fertility but one of the two partners may not feel ready
to take on this responsibility.
b) “Unconscious desire to improve the genetics of one’s
family”, which would push the woman or man to seek
the satisfaction of this inner energy in sexual activity
with third parties, aware that their genetics could give
birth to a child with problems health, even serious
[14,15]. This hypothesis ceases when relationships are
protected or there is no male ejaculation in the vagina
or genetically there are no relevant clinical suspects.
The possible unprotected relationship in the presence
of the use of an oral contraceptive does not exclude this
hypothesis, as the unconscious desire could be to give
the unborn child the best possible health conditions.
c) “Unconscious desire to increase the couple’s chances of
fertility” [16,17]. From an evolutionary point of view,
some studies would connect, in a counter-intuitive way,
the cuckold with an increase in fertilization capacity
(a sort of battle for “genetic supremacy”). Although
according to some researchers, the fear of not being
able to sow one’s seed, or raising a child not really, is
the basis of possessive behavior and sometimes violent
jealousy, other studies would show how the sight of
one or more men who had sex with a single woman
increases sperm reactivity, making conception more
likely as a result. The decision to use the semen of a
donor without sexual intercourse (assisted fertilization)
or to proceed with consensual sexual relations aimed at
041
https://www.peertechz.com/journals/annals-of-psychiatry-and-treatment
Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
procreation are not in themselves hypotheses that fall
within the object of study of this work.
d) “Unconscious desire to receive parental care from several
males”, which would push the woman or man to seek
satisfaction of this inner energy in sexual activity with
third parties, for the unmotivated and irrational fear
of not being up to par of the parental role [18,19]. This
hypothesis ceases if the partners are already parents,
while signifi cant economic diffi culties or intra-family
relationship problems could play a dominant role.
e) “Unconscious desire to avoid betrayal or metabolize
the one suffered”, which would push the partner to
implement this relational modality to control and
manage the emotional load deriving from a potential
future betrayal or from post-traumatic adaptation
deriving from an already experienced betrayal ,
especially if the person already has a paraphyl profi le
or an eccentric personality disorder (cluster B). These
modalities are also manifested in adopting behaviors
aimed at implementing sexual couple practices with
a third or more people, to see one’s partner return to
him / her, according to a ritualistic modality of cyclic
and repeated choice [19]. This hypothesis is however
not contemplated if the partners do not have paraphilic
profi les, have not undergone traumatic stress deriving
from a love or sentimental disappointment or a physical
or mental betrayal, and still do not have an unstable or
insecure sentimental relationship.
f) “Unconscious desire to be a victim of pain and
psychological humiliation, according to a masochistic
scheme”, which would push one of the two partners
or both to undergo sexual relations with other people
for the realization of their pleasure, in particular by
requiring certain targeted behaviors to domination (“Do
what I say”) or submission and humiliation (“I enjoy
being considered a sexual object”), practices which in
themselves are already considered paraphilic [19].
g) “Unconscious desire to live bisexual or homosexual
drive experiences”, albeit in the larval state, for a
sense of shame or inability to accept these drives on a
conscious level [20].
Clinical contexts and relationship strategies
Both for cuckolding and troilism, including the hypotheses
of open couples, polyamory and polygamy, the results of
scientifi c research that examine a statistically signifi cant
sample are missing, about any psychopathologies related to
these relational and sexual activities [1]. However, the data in
our possession allow to make some substantial differences,
related to the perceptive-reactive system [21], of the patient
and his way of reacting concerning the environment around
him [22]; in particular, one will have to ask whether [3];
a) Does the patient perceive his behavior or that of his
partner as disturbing?
b) Does the patient experience the partner’s behavior or
feel the urge to satisfy them?
c) Does the patient fail to have a satisfying relationship
and sentimental life without the implementation of
these sexual behaviors?
d) Does the patient perceive an accentuation of these
behaviors?
e) The patient has suffered relational, working, emotional
or sentimental problems as a result of the realization or
ideation of these behaviors?
The positive affi rmation of even just one of these questions
should induce him to begin a targeted psychotherapy path,
possibly with a cognitive-behavioral or strategic approach [23],
to fi nd answers to his doubts and clarify any information gaps.
However, it should be borne in mind that certain pathological
forms, even if considered as such, do not always require
clinical intervention, as only the ego-dystonic forms (not in
harmony with the surrounding environment) cause suffering
and malaise, while the ego-syntonic forms, perhaps because
they are experienced with a partner and a favorable context,
they do not provoke those negative emotions and perceptions
that characterize the request for therapeutic intervention [3].
If therefore the relationship with the partner is stable
and this conduct does not cause problems, diffi culties or
discrepancies between the wishes of the individual members
of the couple, then it is still important to follow simple rules of
behavior, to positively continue these “particular” experiences
of waist [3].
a) To share sexual experience adequately, promoting good,
simple and linear communication, placing the emphasis
on emotions, feelings, expectations, desires and drives,
without fear of judgments or moral condemnations;
b) Focus attention on the playful aspects of sexual
experience, putting in place a series of rules aimed
at better managing the circumstances and situations
between the two partners, with third parties and any
couples;
c) Actively confront, before and during and after the sexual
experience, to share emotions and sensations;
d) Practice active listening and prevent third parties from
interfering with the couple’s relationship;
e) Limit in quantity the sexual game activities with
third parties, in such a way that they do not become
continuous or substitute experiences to the normal
routine life;
f) Take time, making sure that the desires, expectations
and drives of both are compatible, avoiding unwelcome
or diffi cult to understand activities for one of the two
partners (perhaps because the tastes are different);
g) Avoid impositions and obligations, unless agreed with
conscience and will by both;
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https://www.peertechz.com/journals/annals-of-psychiatry-and-treatment
Citation: Perrotta G (2020) Cuckolding and Troilism: definitions, relational and clinical contexts, emotional and sexual aspects, and neurobiological profiles. A
complete review and investigation into the borderline forms of the relationship: Open Couples, Polygamy, Polyamory. Ann Psychiatry Treatm 4(1): 037-042.
DOI: https://dx.doi.org/10.17352/apt.000019
h) Avoid using guilt to facilitate any unwanted activities;
i) Limit the interference of these activities with normal
daily personal and professional life;
j) Encourage any need for dialogue, even with a
professional, who can help the couple better understand
the real needs of both.
Conclusions
It is clear that the reasons that justify these behaviors
are mainly attributable to psychological components and
secondarily to neurobiological and hormonal components,
even if the research published on this topic is not conclusive
and is not conclusive. The subject of this work deserves further
study, also from a clinical point of view.
In the future, research should focus on the following
investigation points:
a. neurobiological studies able to determine the precise
direction of the neural circuits underlying sentimental
and sexual preferences, comparing the results with
non-paraphilic subjects;
b. neurobiological studies able to determine the exact
correlation between troilism and paraphilias;
c. neurobiological studies able to focus research on
neuroendocrine and genetic factors capable of
infl uencing sexual behavior.
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Copyright: © 2020 Perrotta G. This is an open-access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License, which permits unrestricted use,
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