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261 - 292Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
Mobile dating applications have become self-presentation spaces and stages among the youth. In the
search for romance and sexual relationships, young Filipinos create and act out pre and co-constructed
selves that enable them to nd dating partners. Using the musings and experiences of 50 Filipino young
adults who have been using dating apps to search for love or lust, the study found that created mobile/
online selves or faces reect presentation strategies that include the show of sincerity, dramatic execu-
tion of the role, use of personal front, maintenance of control over the information, mystication, ideal-
ization, and misrepresentation. The study concludes that self-presentations range from the authentic to
the inauthentic portrayal of the self to advance motives and intents in the use of dating apps.
Keywords: self presentation, mobile communication, young adults, online behaviors, Filipino communication
experience
Mobile Sexuality: Presentations of Young
Filipinos in Dating Apps
Jonalou S. Labor1, 2Introduction
Introduction
e Philippines has seen a growth of the use of mobile phone communication
for dating as evidenced by the rise of choices (e.g., Tinder, Bumble, Grindr,
Her, OkCupid) in the local scene (Rivera, 2019). What used to be a computer-
dependent dating process has now become an app-based experience with the
Philippines becoming a growing market for such an algorithm-driven practice
(Salvosa, 2018). Dating app users in the country are part of the 1.6 billion who
swipe daily, which, then, results to at least 1 million dates per week (Iqbal,
2020). e Philippines currently has 72 million active social media users that
access content via mobile devices, with 4 hours spent in using social media
(DataReportal, 2019).
e spread of the use of mobile phones for dating has led to discussions
that question the morals of the users, especially young adults who use it to
find sexual partners. Critics find the intent, motives, and performed roles in
such spaces as inherently “wrong” with some sectors of the Filipino society
connecting mobile dating to the demise of the seemingly conservative Filipino
way of life (Dulay, 2018).
Presenting the self in a mobile platform such as the dating apps is perceived
as an act that threatens the moral fiber of the Filipino society (Atienza, 2018).
262 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
ere is an impression that the Filipino youth who indulge in mobile dates
create a distorted and displeasing online “face.” e impression aligns with
the corrupted sexual and sensual intents and motives of the users (Samonte,
Reyes, & Labor, 2016). Furthermore, because it is the millennial generation,
considered highly emotional and needy of affection, by others, then the
platform may be used as venues to unleash the users’ false sense of selves that
result from over-attribution and exaggeration (Joinson, Reips, Buchanan, &
Paine, 2010; Walther, 1996). Moreover, old-fashioned thinking assumes that
users of dating apps sacrifice honesty and truthfulness in the apps.
ere is an on-going debate on the role of mobile telephony in dating
practices. On the one hand, some claim that mobile phones encounter
for dating purposes has expanded and maintained romantic and sexual
relationships in cosmopolitan societies (Aricat, Karnowski, & Chib, 2015).
Traditionally used for individual-specific purposes, mobile phones of today
have provided the agency to enable personal and professional connections.
Jonathan Donner (2009) claimed that the use of mobile phones had cut the
distance, and optimistically changed the interactions of people. Fernando
Paragas and Trisha Lin (2016) acknowledged the decisive role of technology
in enhancing interpersonal relationships, claiming that technology use led
to “a shift that has since resulted into a re-understanding of the nature of
the audience” (p. 152), where technological innovations become a part of
and not as a determinant of actions and interactions. Further, researchers
like Joseph Walther (1996) see online platforms like dating apps as venues
where users reflect and manage their presented selves, allowing users to
attain successful relationships. Individuals have also attained a sense of
empowerment because of the high level of relational identities formed in
mediated dyadic encounters (Joinson et al., 2010).
On the other hand, some have cautioned users of the negative
consequences of the public use of mobile telephony, particularly in the use
of mobile dating apps (Cabañes & Collantes, 2020; Zervoulis, Smith, Reed,
& Dinos, 2020). e use of dating apps’ location data system is deemed
a privacy risk as chat data, user profile, shared pictures, e-mail addresses,
epoch value (time), and location can be retrieved by just about anyone who
knows data base storage. Seemingly, it feels that technological innovations
such as computer and mobile apps have adverse effects on human
engagements, particularly on how they develop and nurture relationships.
Some even worry that dating apps drive the HIV epidemic, especially in the
Asia Pacific region (Clark, 2015).
e Filipino millennials are in the center of the issue as their technology
practices, particularly on the use of dating apps, are questioned. Being digital
natives, they feel that they can navigate online social networks (Ronquillo,
263Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
2016). ey describe themselves as empowered yet are perceived as self-
entitled and narcissistic by some because of their “me first” attitude. In
2018, one of the discussants, Michael Labayandoy, in a CNN Life tech
feature, claimed that 71% of the Filipino millennials know a couple who
have met via online dating (Rivera, 2019). Such involvement in online
dating is changing the experience of traditional dating, which makes many
individuals from older generations worried (Finkel, Eastwick, Karney, Reis,
& Sprecher, 2012). e millennials’ mobile dating behaviors are criticized
as acts of narcissism since these include presenting, editing, and curating
their appearances (Garcia, Reiber, Massey, & Merriwether, 2012; Twenge &
Campbell, 2009).
e rise of mobile dating app use equates to the growth of the multi-
million business of apps in the country. A recent report claims that dating
app use has increased to 71% among Filipinos (Rivera, 2019). On the one
hand, the rise in the use of the mobile apps made Tinder, Bumble, Grindr,
Her, and OkCupid household names. Such rise led to the easing of the taboo
on the act of dating someone with the aid of technology (Keating, 2013;
Finkel et al., 2012).
On the other hand, for conservative cultures like the Philippines where
religion is a decisive factor in dating and relationships, having this wide
array of choices of dating apps may be an indication of a less morally
upright approach to dating. ere exists an impression that adapting to new
practices and technologies of dating and self-presentation is veering away
from core values and tradition (Dumdum, 2010). As these apps pave the
way for more casual dating and sex, young Filipinos and their ‘Westernized’
take on dating are somehow regarded as conflicting with the religious ideals
of intimate relationships—one that is leading towards marriage sanctified
by the Church. ough not considered a taboo, especially in urban
communities, “in public discourse, however, there is still a strong censure
for being liberal about sexuality” (Cabañes, 2019, p. 1655).
Mobile technologies changed the nature of intimacies. e use of
synchronous and asynchronous mobile apps have paved the way for newly
formed relationships that challenge traditional notions of courtships and
dating. Mobile technologies changed the nature of intimacies. e use of
synchronous and asynchronous mobile apps have paved the way for newly
formed relationships that challenge traditional notions of courtships and
dating. e formation and progression of relationships in the context of
digital dating are greatly influenced by the features and tools of dating apps,
and the kind and extent of interactions the technology afford to offer its users
(Bucher & Helmond, 2018). ese apps offer both synchronous interactions
in the form of calls and video calls and asynchronous communication
264 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
through chats and messaging. A study on Digital Intimacy noted how users
of dating apps deliberately share more intimate content with others through
photos, videos, posts, updates, and chats as a means of establishing rapport
and relationship (Turkle as cited in Sadowski, 2016). is sharing of intimate
content during the early stage of relationships challenges the limitations
of traditional face-to-face dating in terms of physical distance and time
constraints. Users of dating apps get to engage in personal and intimate
conversations even before personally meeting each other. According to
Gill Valentine (2006), “online exchanges are characterized by higher levels
of self-disclosure or hyperpersonal communication” (p. 367). Another
aspect of online communication and its asynchronous nature is the user’s
advantage of having more time to think about how to respond or present
one’s self which is crucial in the initial stages of establishing relationships.
Moreover, Al Cooper, Irene McLoughlin, and Kevin Campbell (as cited in
Valentine, 2006) pointed out that the accessibility and availability of mobile
dating apps give users more chances of meeting more people at any given
time with just a couple of clicks or swipes.
Research Problem and Aims
ese trends and issues in the use of mobile phones as sexual and romantic
dating platforms led to the question: “How do young Filipinos present
themselves in mobile dating apps?” is paper looks into the narratives of
self-presentation among Tinder and Grindr dating app users during their
online dating performances. In this paper, I argue that dating app users
perform a self in a situated action that used embodied knowledge. In this
paper, I would like to describe the self-presentation strategies of mobile
dating app users. I also contend that the co-created presented selves are
enacted on the moment of interaction while, at the same time, informed by
rules of engagement that govern dating as a social practice. is paper would
like to contribute to the growing interest to provide empirical observational
data on mobile intimacies as practiced in phone-based dating. In analyzing
the practices of posting presentations in Tinder and Grinder, the paper
adds to the dearth of literature on mediated presentations of identity. is
paper adds to the discussion on how new media provide platforms for
presentations and recognitions of new symbolic powers.
Literature Review
Several studies have explored concepts and theories on self-presentation in
general and in the context of digital space. Erving Goffman (as cited in Van
Dijck, 2013) positioned the concept of self-presentation as a performance.
He emphasized that in social media platforms, “users have various socio-
265Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
discursive needs—expressive, communicative or promotional—reflecting
the need for different personas and necessitating different addressees” (p.
211). Different social media platforms and dating apps call for different
presentations of the self. e presentations depend on user intention and
the audience. Goffman (as cited in Van Dijck, 2013) also discussed the
concepts of self-expression and self-promotion with the latter deemed as a
more conscious and purposive attempt to build one’s self-image. In the lens
of self-presentation as a performance, a highly relevant framework is Judith
Butler’s (as cited in Salih, 2002) eory of Performativity which argues that
gender is a “doing” rather than a “being.” Performativity is “a set of repeated
acts within a highly rigid regulator y frame” (p. 56). Nevertheless, even though
there are conventional ways of performing genders, gender conventions still
get redefined given new contexts (Butler as cited in Sadowski, 2016). ese
new settings include digital spaces and online interactions. Helga Sadowski
(2016) noted that technology and gender identities are complexly correlated
and seen as “shaped together and shaping each other” (p. 150).
Nancy umim (2012) highlighted the complicated relationship
between self-representation and digital culture and described digital
culture as an interplay of cultural, social, and political factors. As individuals
have heightened involvement in the process of self-representation, their
standpoints and contexts—social, cultural, political, economic, and
technological—become more apparent and prominent in the creation
of their self-image. Furthermore, umim discussed media literacy as a
factor in individuals’ control over their digital image and representation.
Meanwhile, Gill Valentine (2006) elaborated on the role of Information and
Communication Technologies (ICT) in maintaining familial relationships
and creating intimate sexual relationships. In the context of “doing sexual
intimacy” (p. 368), ICT provides more possibilities and opportunities in
establishing intimate relationships with someone who shares the same
interests, beliefs, or lifestyle with an individual through sites or groups
created for people with common interests. Moreover, it opens the platform
for online dating and public discourse to people from minority groups. ICT
is deemed a helpful and empowering tool for people who seek to express
themselves, explore their sexuality, build networks with others who share
the same situations or sentiments, and establish romantic relationships
(Dumdum, 2010; Valentine 2006).
Individuals have varied self-presentation strategies. Males and females
show themselves differently (Bowman & Compton, 2014; Felmlee, Sweet,
& Sinclair, 2012). Moreover, trans and lesbians perform their identities
and sexual orientations in a manner that enhances their being (Mandal
& Hillman, 2013; Mandal & Jakubowski, 2015; Rosario, Schrimshaw, &
266 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
Hunter, 2008; Tortajada, Arauna, & Martinez, 2013). No definitive study has
found the gender demarcation stable. Recently, William Hart, John Adams,
Alex Burton, and Gregory Tortoriello (2017) found out that narcissism is
related to self-presentation. Grandiose narcissism is associated with one’s
assertiveness to self-present positive information about oneself.
In the realm of online encounters, the features and affordances
of computer-mediated communication, specifically its reduced
communication cues and asynchronous communication, lend much
leeway for self-presentation that is optimized and selective (Walther, 1996).
ese two features allow users more control on the construction of their
self-presentations (Gibbs, Ellison, & Chih-Hui, 2015), one that has been
given attention in online dating literature (Ramirez, Sumner, Fleuriet, &
Cole, 2015). Andrew Fiore (2008) noted the self-presentation motivations
of online dating users in creating profiles, namely: “to present themselves
as attractively as possible, in order to draw attention from potential dates,
and to present themselves accurately, so that people who would find them
attractive partners in real life can identify them as such online” (p. 2).
Online daters employ different strategies such as enhancing positive
personality qualities (Ellison, Heino, & Gibbs, 2006; Ellison, Heino, &
Toma, 2011) while deemphasizing or altogether leaving out negative ones
(Toma & Carlson, 2012). Such deviations or misrepresentations were
“ubiquitous but small in magnitude” (Toma, Hancock, & Ellison, 2008, p. 1)
so that they would not be easily detectable in offline encounters. To account
for deviations in self-presentations, Nicole Ellison, Jeffrey Hancock, and
Catalina Toma (2011) conceptualized online dating profiles as a “promise”
of users to others, a combination of their actual and desired qualities.
Meanwhile, Rebecca Heino, Nicole Ellison, and Jennifer Gibbs (2010) used
a marketing metaphor to describe users’ propensity to create optimized
presentations in order to market themselves to others.
Several studies found differences between men and women in terms of
the accuracy of their self-presentation in online dating sites. Men tended to
focus on their personalities and socioeconomic status (Hall, Park, Song, &
Cody, 2010; McWilliams & Barrett, 2014), while women focused on their
sexuality and attractiveness (McWilliams & Barrett, 2014), specifically their
weight (Hall et al., 2010). Men were also more likely to engage in selective
self-presentation when faced with the possibility of future interaction,
whether online or face-to-face (Guadagno, Okdie, & Kruse, 2012). In
terms of photographic enhancement, women’s photographs contain more
deviations compared to men’s photographs (Hancock & Toma, 2009).
However, regardless of sex, less attractive users were more likely to commit
267Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
photographic misrepresentations than more attractive users (Toma &
Hancock, 2010a, 2010b).
Misrepresentations and deviations in online profiles are associated
with deception. Misrepresentation means that there is a consciousness to
transmit messages to a receiver with the intent to foster a false belief or
conclusion (Goffman, 1956). Self-reports show that users do not engage
in online deception or misrepresentation (Gibbs et al., 2006). However,
researchers noted the unreliability of self-report methods in detecting
deception (Toma et al., 2008). erefore, this phenomenon led to the
creation of novel methods.
Individuals control their self-presentation in online erotic encounters
(Ellison et al., 2006; Fullick, 2013; Toma, 2016; Toma & Hancock, 2010b;
Toma et al., 2008; Whitty, 2008), which are not usually available in traditional
or offline dating. ese services include creating a profile using text,
photographs or videos; searching other people’s profiles; and messaging
other people (Fiore, 2008; Gibbs, Ellison, & Heino, 2006; Rosen, Cheever,
Cummings, & Felt, 2008; Whitty & Buchanan, 2009), with some of these
services requiring users to pay in order to access the full functionality (Rosen
et al., 2008; Whitty & Buchanan, 2009). e information provided in profile
creation typically includes age, height, weight, relationship status, location,
and self-description (Toma, 2016; Rosen et al., 2008). Apart from increased
control of self-presentation, users of online dating sites also have access
to a considerable number of potential dating partners (Finkel et al., 2012;
Heino et al., 2010), regardless of their proximity to each other (Valkenburg
& Peter, 2007). Users have the benefits of both asynchronous and real-time
communication (Gibbs et al., 2006). It seems that presentations in the online
world have produced artefacts that come from the performances during the
synchronous online situations (Hogan, 2010).
Despite the focus given on rendering attractive and likeable self-
presentations online, dating app users are still concerned with identity
authenticity. Gina Hernez-Broome, Cindy McLaughlin, and Stephanie
Trovas (as cited in Van Dijck, 2013) noted that users strive to balance
“authentic” and “idealized” self-presentation in different social media
platforms. More than being an attempt to express themselves better and
personalize their profiles, this is to prevent other users from thinking that
their accounts and identities are fake and deceptive. Social anxieties and
security concerns still surround the idea of online dating because of the
absence of face-to-face interaction (Donath as cited in Marwick, 2013).
e concerns are rooted in the notion that face-to-face communication is
still more “real” and organic compared to online interactions. Goffman (in
Southerton, 2017) argued that nonverbal cues, especially facial movements,
268 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
are critical factors in assessing a person’s honesty and sincerity. Mediated
forms of interaction, therefore, are viewed as more susceptible to deception
and dishonesty (Souza e Silva and Frith in Southerton, 2017).
ere are different lenses in the study of technological affordances.
Coined by Gibson (in Bulcher & Helmond, 2018) in 1966, affordance refers
to the set of action possibilities in a given environment. In the technological
sense, an affordance is more than just a component of individual action
but also that of social action interaction. More than what technology offers
people in terms of social interaction, the concept also seeks to examine
affordances as a “useful tool for user-centered analyses of technologies”
(Gaver 1991 in Bulcher & Helmond, 2018, p. 97). Wellman (2001) pointed
out that technological changes do not only affect and pave the way for social
interactions per se but also influence social relations and structures on a
broader sense. Schrock (in Bulcher & Helmond, 2018) also noted how the
process and practice of communication continuously change and evolve
with the presence and use of mobile phones. Meanwhile, affordances in
social media focus not only specific platforms or technological features
but also on social and communicative changes that transpire through and
because of social media (Ellison & Vitak as cited in Bulcher & Helmond,
2018).
In the Philippines, Quennie Arguelles and Charisse Ann Basa
(2011) mentioned that individual perception and attitude towards social
comparison fuel self-presentation among young professionals. e study
suggested that because there is a need for inclusion and control of how others
perceive one, young Filipino professionals self-present based on how they
have experienced self-presenting and how they see their current and future
co-communicators. Leah Gustilo (2006) also found that in personal home
pages of Filipinos, “multi-modal elements like favorite links, guest books,
background music, linguistic descriptions, graphics, and emails” (Abstract)
are presented with the intent to self-promote one’s qualification to assert
one’s useful life. More recently, Mary Joyce Cedillo and Rodelando Ocampo
(2016) argued that Filipinos self-monitor their presentations online. Using
selfies as units of analysis, the researchers claimed that a correlation exists
between self-monitoring behavior and selfie behavior among Filipinos
young adults. Still, the research agreed with past findings that Filipinos
highlight belongingness and appropriateness concerning self-expressions.
Jayson Vincent Cabañes (2019) looked into the migrant intimacies of
Punjabi youth in Manila. e research found out that as Punjabi and Filipino
youths interact through Information and Communication Technologies
(ICTs), they negotiate their culture’s tradition of arranged marriage and
culture of idealistic love and marriage, respectively. ey maintain a public
269Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
image of conservatism while practicing sexual liberalism in private. e
researcher noted that though young Punjabis engage in online dating, their
decisive factor in settling down is still security and stability offered by their
migrant communities. Jozon Lorenzana (2016) explored the concept of
mediated recognition in the case of Filipino transnationals in Indian cities.
e study confirmed the influence of social media, particularly Facebook,
in transnationals’ self-esteem and sense of identity. Positive remarks
and positive comments meet the need for recognition and validation of
Filipinos who are away from their families and home country. In 2010,
Omar Dumdum researched Filipino gays in amateur pornographic sites.
e study emphasized on the shift of the Filipino definition and essence
of “bakla” which transformed from a sense of inner self or “kalooban” to
a Westernized concept of transitive sexual actions. Upon exploring the
sexualization XTube users in the light of globalization, Dumdum (2010)
concluded that capitalism affects even the perceived freedom to express
one’s identity and to gratify from sexual desires on such online platform.
is finding is somehow parallel to claims by Christian Groes and Nadine
Fernandez (2018) asserting that relationships between people from different
social, cultural, and socioeconomic structures, classes, and backgrounds
are now made possible by migration and mobile technology. Online dating
and the online sex industry are prevalent in the current technological
setting. Such prevalence opens more opportunities for people to establish
relationships with others whom they hope will secure their futures and
help them attain social mobility. ese relationships, however, are strongly
subject to the complexities of power relations.
Methods and Procedures
e study used a descriptive-interpretive case study research design. e
approach was constructivist with a slant on how individuals perform in
technology (Jansen & Vellema, 2011). e researchers asked for volunteer
informants who were active users of Tinder and Grindr for at least six
months. Activeness in this study meant that the informants should use the
apps for online and even offline interactions. e researcher used in-depth
interviews. e informants’ musings, insights, and perspectives were the
data of the study.
I used the inductive thematic analysis to see how users were able to
construct and enunciate the narratives and discourses of their technographic
mindsets. I examined the transcripts using open and context coding. e
derived codes served as the initial categorization. Open coding allowed
the themes to emerge from the data (Kandiko & Mawer, 2013). I matched
the coded themes with the existing conceptual constructs of the study. e
270 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
initial context codes were arranged in matrices using a dendrogram (Drout
& Smith, 2012) to know the most meaningful content and the significant
statements mentioned by the informants. Moreover, significant statements
were used in identifying categories of codes and valuable themes (Aronson,
1994). Time series analysis was conducted to continually check the value of
the data (Yin, 2003). Participants were informed about the research before
they signed consent forms as research participants.
Results
I have interviewed 52 young Filipino mobile dating app users. e average
age of all the informants is 25. irteen of the informants are in a relationship
while 39 are single. Almost all of the informants are either graduates or are
college students. e informants have an average of 26 months or at least
two years of mobile app use. ey spend an average of three hours on the
app per day.
Table 1: Informants’ gender and type of mobile app used.
Gender Tinder Grindr
Straight Male 11
Straight Female 11
Gay 10 10
Lesbian 10
e presentation process allowed individuals to create an online self
that contained information that they thought reflected their online intents.
e mobile dating app users underwent a series of strategic routes for
them to present their mobile selves in the dating app. I found out that the
mobile dating app users utilized tactical routes or courses in order for
them to convince their dating matches of their value. ese routes could be
subsumed into four categories: displaying the ideal self, showing an active
lifestyle, self-censoring oneself, and negotiating online spaces through
altered selves.
Displaying the ideal self
Mobile dating app users dramatically executed their presented selves
to others. e informants revealed that they performed their presentations
well to others by dramatically “acting out” their parts. Acting out here
meant that they were trying to project an idealized version of themselves,
with the motive to display a flawless and faultless persona. e users were
able to project likeable images by consciously constructing posts, pictures,
and performances that represented their best sides. e dramatic execution
of the online self includes the following: posted copies of their dynamic
271Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
lifestyles in their photos to match their lifestyle claims, written dramatic
pickup and conversation scripts, and played the role that they were “a good
c a t c h .”
Eight out of the ten male Tinder users uploaded photos that showed
their ideal lives to catch the attention of their potential matches. ey
showed their matches that they looked better than the other potential
matches. Ivan (personal communication, September 18, 2017), 28 years old,
a research assistant in a multinational company, represents such idealization
among the straight male informants. He has always projected that he is both
the formal and the sporty guy, so he uploads photos that aided the “flawless
guy” narrative. He explained:
I presented myself as someone who can be both the prim
and the rugged guy through four photos. I have four photos.
e first one is a picture of me riding a bike. e next one
is showing my skill in surfing. I am wearing a tuxedo in
the third photo and the last one is a photo that shows me
wearing a polo.
He posted these photos to establish a good impression that he had both
a professional/formal side and a sporty side.
Eight out of ten women informants added drama to their posts by
creating a cohesive story in their profile pictures. Some women provided
coherent narratives to their photos. Louise (personal communication,
July 14, 2017), a 22-year-old freelance writer, has always liked to make her
Tinder profile pictures as conversation pieces. “I have a picture of the beach,
then a book, my dog, then a picture of me with an elephant when I went to
ailand,” she shared. She had the habit of asking her matches to identify
the reasons why she posted these photos correctly. “If my match could guess
what these posts mean; then I will spend time with him. I want people to
recognize what I want to tell them without actually saying it,” she added.
Seventeen out of twenty gay informants projected that they were ideal
sexual and professional matches. Nico (personal communication, July 24,
2017), a 21-year-old property specialist in one of the financial districts in
Manila, for instance, displays the ideal gay image because the best ones
always get to take home the best hookups. He also mentioned that if he
puts out a profile picture that makes him appear handsome and, at the same
time, writes a bio that declares his work for a good company, then he is
considered a good catch. He also noted that there is an unwritten rule in the
use of dating apps among gays. “If I want to be seen as an intelligent person,
then I would go to Tinder. If I want to hook up with someone, I have a very
lewd Grindr account,” he explained. In both dating apps, Nico would always
272 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
have the habit of curating his profile in order for him to project the ideal gay
guy- good-looking and affluent.
In order to present their idealized selves, seven out of ten lesbians added
drama to their presentations in the profile section of their dating app. Anya
(personal communication, August 5, 2017), a 25-year-old technical support
employee in the financial capital of Manila, chose pictures that showed her
passion for sports. She believed that if she creates a sporty persona, then
this would enable the curiosity of other lesbian users of the dating apps.
She has uploaded pictures that show her playing table tennis, jogging, and
running. She also projects that she is intelligent by posting pictures that
showed her either reading a book or watching a YouTube video. e same
tactic that was used by Dee, a 23-year-old training and development officer,
who stated that she shared many pictures about her music gigs so she could
project an image of a rock star. “I am part of a rock band. I want others to
see that I am an outgoing person who likes to listen to bands,” she revealed.
She also posted pictures of her favorite books to tell other app users that she
is more than a musician.
Showing an oine life
Some informants had the habit of projecting a mobile self that is
synchronous to their offline identities. e use of this tactic means that a
majority of the informants narrated that their Tinder and Grindr profiles were
identical to their offline information. e informants shared to me that they
used real photos and declared correct details in their bio sketches. I noticed
that there is a need to bind the narratives of the off and online selves because
the user has to project an offline image that is non-imaginary. A cohesive
narrative is necessary in order for the user to feel that the user is honest and
accurate to life. Ash (personal communication, August 27, 2017), a twenty-
one-year-old administrative officer and one of the male informants, claimed
that he never edits his pictures nor his declared information because he
believes that being genuine would help him attract women. John (personal
communication, August 10, 2017), a 22-year-old university student, also
uploads many pictures in Tinder so that his matches could verify that he has
an authentic account. He even uploaded pictures from his Facebook profile
so that his matches could cross-check his genuineness.
e women informants have stated that they presented themselves
truthfully in their Tinder accounts by showing a lot of their active lifestyles
outside the dating app. ey wanted their dates to realize that they have a
life outside Tinder. Seven out of the eleven women informants mentioned
that they uploaded at least three photos in Tinder so their male matches
would know that they are real women and, at the same time, that they
273Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
do have interesting and real stories and activities, too. Julia (personal
communication, August 1, 2017), a 26-year-old recruitment analyst, said
that she uploads pictures that would project her varied interests in her
offline life. “I use my pictures which show who I am. I even uploaded a not
so glamorous picture of myself so that my matches would know who I am
daily,” she explained.
Seven of the lesbian informants mentioned that they connected
their dating app profiles to other social networking sites (SNS) to allow
their matches to verify their shared Tinder information. Anya (personal
communication, August 5, 2017) said that she used a consistent set of
bios in all her dating apps and SNS because such consistent set of profiles
would assure her matches that she was not hiding anything from them. Lia
( personal communication, September 27, 2017), a 23-year-old research
analyst, made similar profiles in both Tinder and Facebook to project
consistency in both her online and offline selves. She shared:
I know of some queers who hide because they are closeted
and I agree with that because it is their preference but, as
for me, I put out al my information because if I want to be
taken seriously, I need to be coherent in all those apps.
Fourteen of the gay men that I interviewed stated that they uploaded
authentic photos. Austin (personal communication, September 1, 2017), a
21-year-old university student, uploaded at least six photos of himself. He
did this to validate that he is the owner of the Tinder account and, at the
same time, project what he does with his life. “I have the habit of updating
my photos and posts for me not to be taken as a poser in Tinder… so to
validate the claim that I am a legitimate owner of my account, I update
it regularly,” he shared. JJ (personal communication, August 3, 2017), a
26-year-old government employee, mentioned that, as much as possible,
he uploads blunt photos of himself to show his matches that he is a real
person. “I post wacky and candid photos because I need others to see the
real me. I also link my account to other social networks to project a unified
personality,” he mentioned.
Self-censoring one’s prole
In contrast to the earlier result, I found it interesting that a majority
of the informants in this study practice self-censorship. Forty informants
mentioned that they edited their photos and bios, as well as curated a
specific look for their mobile dating app profile. ey did this because they
wanted to appear appealing to others. ey uploaded pleasing primary and
274 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
secondary photos and mentioned attractive information about themselves
to positively build their presented selves.
Seventeen out of the twenty gay men had the habit of uploading close
up shots of their faces. Some of them claimed that they spend time taking
pictures of their faces through headshots because because good looks easily
attract some gay men. Gian (personal communication, August 7, 2017),
a 25-year-old writer from Manila, explained that he takes many selfies so
he would have many choices for his primary picture in the dating app. He
claimed that he spends time pondering on what to upload because he has
to sustain his appealing image to his matches. “I mostly post headshots
because those whom I have met told me that I look like a movie actor. I
do this because I only want to be matched with men who are also good
looking,” he shared.
Some mentioned that they have the habit of posting their pictures
wearing their fancy clothes. Wearing signature or fashionable clothes makes
them appear sophisticated and stylish. Some female informants reasoned
that posting branded clothing make them look pleasant. Self-censoring
is essential in creating the narrative of pleasantness here as the app user
has the upper hand in constructing what is to be included in the packaged
profile. Selena (personal communication, August 2, 2017), a 21-year-
old media planner, mentioned that she uploads photos that show her in
beautiful and branded clothing so she would appear sophisticated. “I do
not wear just any clothes. I wear branded clothing in order for me to show
that I am not just any girl. I do not also wear clothes that reveal too much
of my skin either. It makes girls cheap,” she explained. She added that she
frequently changes her primary photos in the app to show her ever-evolving
fashion sense. “You could always see me in my OOTD.3 I often change my
pictures because I want to show my clothes for them to know my worth,”
she furthered.
In my interviews, I noticed that my gay user-informants were picky
with the photos and information that they shared with others in the
dating apps. ey said that when they uploaded photos, they made sure
that their would-be matches pleasantly perceived them. Ariana (personal
communication, August 14, 2017), for one, stated that she, being a runway
model, only uploaded photos from her photoshoots to make sure that her
matches perceived her as attractive. Another gay user who used his front
wisely was Marko. He shared that he put a robust set of pictures in his
profile. “My main picture was shot by Shaira Luna. I tell them that she did
it. e other photos are artsy” (Marko, personal communication, July 27,
2017), he stated. He also mentioned that he indicated in his profile that he
worked on-set for various film outfits.
275Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
Eight out of the ten male Tinder users mentioned that in order to appear
attractive, they chose pictures and bio declarations that would present them
as funny and well-travelled. ose who wanted their wit to be the center of
attention said that they uploaded wacky photos and humorous statements
in their profiles. ey claimed that these made them more funny and casual.
ey believed that projecting themselves as such made them more appealing
to their audience. Hex (personal communication, August 28, 2017) stated
that he uploaded pictures of himself as a funny man. “I choose photos that
are funny and are considered the best ones. ere is one where I am dressed
in formal attire while wearing shorts, then another one is a picture of me in
the beach wearing Barong,” he mentioned.
Some presented their funny sides in their bio descriptions. Mark
(personal communication, September 6, 2017) shared that he indicated in his
bio a tagline: “insert pretentious crap here.” Rani (personal communication,
August 28, 2017), another male Tinder user, also suggested that he used his
humor and happy-go-lucky self when he posted his tagline “more than just a
beautiful face” in his profile. Mond (personal communication, September 7,
2017) disclosed that his tagline “I am so ugly I could be a modern art piece”
was an attention-getter.
Seven of the lesbian informants also showed their real and plea sant selves
by posting their personal information and their current preoccupations and
concerns. e lesbians seemed to have shown pleasantness in their photos
by appearing presentable in their clothes. “It is not because one is blue
therefore she must wear polo shirt or shorts,” C (personal communication,
September 20, 2017) explained. She revealed that even if she is “blue” or
butch, she did not wear clothing that typified her as such. “I look like femme
because I present myself as someone who is attractive and wearing skirt or
blouse is my notion of attractive but I do want femmes. If a butch approaches
me, I tell them ‘di tayo talo’ (we are not compatible),” she explained.
Six straight female informants also had the habit of uploading their
pleasing pictures to gratify other Tinder users. Some females uploaded
travel photos. For them, telling others that they were into travelling made
them eye-catching. Silver ( personal communication, July 24, 2017) stated
that she uploaded travel and sports photos. “I have scuba diving pictures and
wakeboarding and hiking,” she revealed. Scarlet ( personal communication,
August 2, 2017) also highlighted her travel shots by posting her pictures
in Tagaytay City in the Philippines and in Guam. She uploaded these to
connote that she was fun and adventurous.
Only a few informants in this study mentioned that they updated
their bio and pictures from time to time in order to address the desires
276 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
of their potential matches. ere were a few who corrected errors in the
performance of their presented selves.
Only three out of the twenty interviewed gay men mentioned that they
maintained control of their accounts by changing profile details and photos
almost every day. ese three stated that they corrected what they saw as
problems in their self-presentations. Ariana (personal communication,
August 15, 2017), one of these gays, stated that because she was transitioning
to becoming a transwoman, she felt that she monitored the changes that
came with her physical and psychological journey. She, therefore, reviewed,
updated, and changed the content of her Tinder profile. Kel (personal
communication, July 27, 2017) also monitored his profile activity because he
shared that he used both fake Facebook and Tinder accounts. He maintained
control of his account primarily because he did not want anyone to find out
who he was. “Nobody knows that I have an alter account so I am always
uncertain and critical of the people I interact. No one in my family knows
that I am gay. My boyfriend does not know that I have an alter account,” he
disclosed. Kel (personal communication, July 27, 2017) also shared to me
that even if he has a boyfriend, he was still active in doing casual sex.
Kurt (personal communication, July 17, 2017) maintained control of his
profile details such as his photos and posts to check if he was perceived
as someone who was too effeminate. He reasoned that in Grindr, there
was bias against those who were effeminate and bottom for tops. Such a
sentiment validated Kurt’s tendency to control what is shared in Tinder. He
did not want to be labelled as effeminate because that meant that he would
not get any sexual partner in the app. It seemed that he wanted to appear
mysterious because this meant that he could portray a role that would be
advantageous to him. On the one hand, he admitted that pretending to be
manlier was the norm in Grindr, so keeping a profile that can pass for such
a role is much desired. On the other hand, if a top gay man had wanted him
to be a bottom, he could also adjust to such a request. at was the reason
why Kurt maintained a vague presentation on the app. He found comfort
in such a performed role.
Four lesbian informants mentioned that they maintain control of the
information that they post in the dating app. ey control information
because they feel that there will always be scrutiny to their persona
once they let out too much information about themselves. Lia (personal
communication, September 27, 2017), out of curiosity, asked her matches
to comment on both her profile and posts. “I would like to know if my way
of presenting myself is consistent with that of other lesbians. I am curious
to know if my brand of lesbian is seen in my posts. Do people know that I
am a lesbian?” she shared.
277Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
Only one male Tinder user said that he was conscious of maintaining
the character that he portrayed in the app. John (personal communication,
August 10, 2017) mentioned that in Tinder, he was “god of his content.” “I
play god in my content. I edit what I want to present. I know what makes
me attractive sa app so I highlight it. So, people say na ‘ang gwapo’ (you look
handsome) so I use that as an advantage,” he shared.
Only one woman mentioned that she controlled the content of her posts
in Tinder. As a way to maintain the relevance of her profile, she checked
how other users perceived her in the app. Louise (personal communication,
July 14, 2017) asked her current matches and past dates to comment on her
profile.
Negotiating online spaces through altered selves
By mystifying the presentation
Some informants agreed that they highlighted some aspects of their
online selves and concealed their defects. e use of this altering process
meant that in order for these users to become striking in the eyes of their
potential matches, they focused on desirable characteristics and left out
undesirable ones. Desirability was contextual among the users because
some used this as a way to attract or distract their matches. Mystifying one’s
desirability was a reason for highlighting and side lighting their physical
appeal, skills, and personality.
ree male users opened up that they mystified their self-presentations
by concealing their physical and professional attributes. Two of them
mentioned that they hid their height while one of them concealed his
profession. Rille (personal communication, August 8, 2017) said that he
knew that he was not tall, so he mystified this by uploading photos that
would flatter him. “I only upload mid-shot pictures so that other users
would not find me short,” he shared. Ash (personal communication, August
27, 2017) shared that he was not comfortable in discussing his height
especially because he felt that, in the dating app, it was one of the factors
that made a man a standout. Hex (personal communication, August 28,
2017) said that he concealed his profession because he felt that some might
see it inappropriate for a teacher to be in Tinder.
Two of the lesbian user-informants mystified their identities in mobile
dating apps. Carrot Cake (personal communication, August 9, 2017) said
that because she had a family to protect, she could not reveal herself in the
app. She also added that because she was closeted, she could not afford
to show her real identity. “I do not declare anything about myself in the
app. I also do not post pictures,” she stated. She revealed that she was not
comfortable using Tinder because there might be leaks on who she was.
278 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
She furthered that she was in the app because she had desires and wants
but she had to remain anonymous. “I do not have a persona in the app. I
cannot have a persona. I will hurt many people if they find out who I am,”
she narrated.
Another way to mystify was through the practice of hiding one’s face in
the profile photo. MJ (personal communication, August 5, 2017) said that
she did this to create some form of enigmatic effect. “I just do not like the
idea that everything is given already. I have another picture that does not
reveal my face, too. It shows that I play the drums,” she mentioned.
Only one of the female informants mentioned that she deliberately did
not mention one crucial detail about herself. Julia (personal communication,
August 1, 2017) explained that because she was a teacher, she also did not
openly tell others what her job was. She was conscious of the fact that if ever
she would be asked about her profession, she would tell the match that it
could be discussed during the actual face-to-face meet up.
Only one gay informant revealed that he practiced mystification. Kurt
(personal communication, July 17, 2017), a gay Grindr user, uploaded
a silhouette of his face as his primary photo just to make the exchange
exciting. “I would want to be perceived as someone mysterious because
there are times when effeminate men like me get to be discriminated against
even in the app. I use a shadow in the profile picture to hide my feminine
side,” he explained.
By idealizing the online face
Some Tinder and Grindr users also idealized themselves in their created
profiles and during their conversations with their matches. e idealization
happened when they projected a seemingly perfect version of themselves
during the initial encounters. e users, who idealized coherently, told their
match that they were a perfect choice.
Fifteen out of twenty gay men user-informants idealized themselves by
selling their best versions to their audiences in Tinder and Grindr. Mr. R
(personal communication, July 26, 2017) said that because he wanted to date
those who were sporty and artsy in Tinder, he uploaded pictures and stories
that would lead his target match to his profile. JJ (personal communication,
August 3, 2017) mentioned that he idealized himself by declaring that he
studied in a prestigious university. He mentioned that the recall factor of
the university was a plus for Grindr users like him. “ere are times when
I would use the name of my university as a way to create a bang. It is an
additional factor. It is also a topic of conversation,” he stated.
Five of the ten male informants in this study admitted to this kind of
self-presentation. ey stated that they either presented themselves as a
279Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
sexually active person or the ideal nice guy. Rille (personal communication,
August 8, 2017) stated that he used the “sexual chick boy” persona so he could
catch the attention of women in Tinder. He claimed that he was a different
person in Tinder. He acted out a different role in this platform compared to
his other social networking accounts. “In Facebook, I post about my core
values. I even post Bible verses, but in Tinder I am different. I assume the
role of a naughty chick boy,” he stressed. Mond (personal communication,
September 15, 2017) also used the nice guy tactic. He said that he wanted to
be perceived as a kind-hearted guy in Tinder. He mentioned that when he
conversed with his matches, he wanted to discuss his match’s relationship
problems.
Five of the women user-informants also used the “ideal nice girl”
idealization tactic to avoid being labelled as sexual objects. Mon (personal
communication, July 25, 2017) stated that even if she posted sexy and
revealing pictures, she still wanted to be perceived as a decent individual.
“I want to be seen as a model because there might be potential clients in
the app, but I do not want to be seen as slutty,” she revealed. Seraphina
(personal communication, August 2, 2017) also refused to be sexualized so
she consistently portrayed herself as an intelligent woman. “I would always
engage in conversations and I am vocal about my opinions. I also forward
the idea that I have brains so do not belittle me,” she said. She, however, had
to adjust to the level of her potential matches, especially if she found them
attractive.
Idealization was also an essential element in the self-presentation of the
informants. In this study, this was seen in their portrayal as better choices
than their Tinder or Grindr competitors. ey employed tactics that made
them appear as the best choice among the matches of their target date.
Interestingly, no lesbian user mentioned that he or she idealizes herself
in the dating app. Rajah (personal communication, September 13, 2017)
mentioned that she never understood the idea of idealizing oneself because
the end goal of the online dating is to meet the other person in a real-life
setting. “Why should people do it? Is it because they just wanted to do
online meetups forever? I find it silly and weird. I guess I aim to be truthful
so that when we meet, we can identify with each other,” she said.
By misrepresenting the oine self
Six gay men misrepresented themselves in mobile dating apps. One
of the informants who told me that there was blatant misrepresentation
in his account was Kel (personal communication, September 5, 2017). He
revealed that he had a Facebook account that he exclusively used for Tinder
purposes. “I do not know if there is sincerity. I use a different Facebook
280 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
account for my alter account. I used to access it for my awareness advocacy
but now I use it to find hookups,” Kel stated. He added that he created fake
Facebook and Tinder accounts so that there would be no hint about what
his online life, especially because he had a boyfriend. “I use fake accounts so
that no one can trace my real identity. Even if I meet or have sex with people
in the app, they would never know my real identity,” he narrated.
e interviews with the straight male, straight female, and lesbian
informants point out that no misrepresentation happened when they were
in Tinder and Grindr. ey were one in saying that no changes should be
made in presenting the self or editing their online personas. Rani (personal
communication, August 28, 2017), one of the male informants, said that
he was real in Tinder but admitted to checking other profiles so he could
compete with them. “I feel that I have to constantly check out other male
users just to see if I am still in the competition. I also feel that I need to
shape up because some men are so buff,” he explained.
Straight women informants told me that they did not spend time,
money, and effort in the app just to be accused of falsifying their identities.
Silver, a straight woman informant, said that she also did not see sense in
faking information and “screen grabbing”4 pictures. She pointed out that
the value of connecting Facebook to Tinder was to serve as a validation to
the claims of the Tinder user. Such a sentiment was common among women
who unfailingly narrated to me that faking personal details was not a norm
in the use of dating apps.
No lesbian informant mentioned that they faked their photos,
information, and bio declarations in Tinder. Pur ple (personal communication,
September 18, 2017) said that the dating apps were created in order to serve
as an initial step in the dating process. “e role of the app is for people
to find real people so why do we have to change anything,” she mentioned.
She, however, added that there would be enhancements to one’s already
positive details and features but defended that such actions should not be
considered as blatant lying. “Are the filters part of one’s misrepresentations?
I do not think so. Enhancements are used to make the features better but
the people who use them are not posers,” she asserted.
Discussion
e findings of this study revealed that mobile dating app users did show
sincerity by posting real and verifiable information about them. Majority of
the informants who belonged to the four gender groups also dramatically
executed their roles by mentioning, framing, and continually repeating
information that they thought needed emphasis during the “getting-to-
know” process. Most user-informants from the four gender groups also
281Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
used personal fronts that were pleasant and pleasing to other users through
their photos and information.
A few users maintained control of their information by regularly updated
their bio in order to meet the desires of their potential matches. ese user-
informants edited their profile information in order to please other users
and their potential matches. Only a few of the informants mystified their
presentations by concealing information that was deemed necessary to
establish their identities. Seven out of the 52 user-informants said that they
highlighted information that would allow them to be chosen by other users
and concealed their defects so they could appear desirable to their matches.
Most gay informants and some straight men and women informants said
that projected a seemingly faultless version of their selves in order to create
the illusion that they were the perfect choices for their matches. Only a
few gay men deliberately misrepresented themselves in the dating apps by
blatantly lying or deceiving other users. ey used fake accounts with fake
details so that they would be chosen as hook-up partners of other users.
e informants were also aware that they had to use a well-liked personal
front when they uploaded a pleasant primary picture, used pleasing and
well-curated photos, and mentioned exciting information about themselves.
ere was also drama in the way they communicated their selves when they
projected a likeable image, presented catchy information about themselves
and portrayed themselves as good catches. I also noticed that an idealization
of the self existed among the informants when they projected a fanciful self
that catered to their target audiences. is conscious effort to positively
present one’s self reflects Goffman’s (as cited in Van Dijck, 2013) concepts of
self-expression or signs that are “given unconsciously” and self-promotion
or signs that are “given off consciously” (p. 201). While dating app users
might get to express themselves naively in private conversations, the way
they promote themselves through their public profiles is a more deliberate
act. In line with Butler’s (in Sadowski, 2016) principle that performativity
entails “reiterative acting”(p.106), online dating app users eventually craft
their patterns and styles in self-presentation over time (Goffman as cited in
Van Djick, 2013).
Some informants used deceptive self- presentations. Deception is defined
as an idealization of the user’s profile to fit one’s preferred identity in order
to be liked by other individuals. Such a finding runs parallel with previous
works where the self was manipulated and has become different because
of too much enhancement (Gibbs et al., 2011; Hart et al., 2017; Levine &
Feldman, 1997). ere was, therefore, some form of misrepresentation when
the users falsified the content of their performed self. Some informants also
mystified themselves when they concealed some information that they felt
282 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
would be in contrast with their projected selves in the dating apps (Ellison
et al., 2006; Goffman, 1956; Toma & Carlson, 2012; Toma, et al., 2008). is
tactic can be reconciled with Madianou and Miller’s concept of “polymedia”
which argues that users, being aware of the affordances of each platform,
deliberately choose a platform with particular ends in mind (Lorenzana,
2016). In the case of dating apps where attractiveness is a crucial factor,
users strategically market themselves for higher chances of romantic
opportunities.
Self-presentation in online spaces like the mobile dating app was about
self-promotion (Goffman as cited in Van Djick, 2013) and enhancement.
As evidenced by the stories of the user-informants, there was a tendency
to package one’s self as likeable and interesting. Past findings revealed that
individuals would enhance (Carey & Paulhus, 2008; Ellis, West, Ryan, &
DeShon, 2002; Kacmar & Carlson, 1999) by highlighting what they perceived
as physical and professional achievements. Sharing one’s accomplishments
and achievements online is also a facet of building one’s self-worth and self-
esteem and eliciting validation from other online users (Lorenzana, 2016).
e highlighted and presented selves, however, were sincerely performed,
as these were real information. e informants even provided the matches
with links to their Facebook, Instagram, or Spotify to enhance their
believability and establish a consistent public image across different social
media platforms (Goffman in Van Djick, 2013). Users’ willingness to share
or link other social media accounts is a measure of identity authenticity
for some given the reality that dishonesty, fraud, and security concerns are
still associated with online dating (Southerton, 2017; Donath in Marwick,
2013).
According to Valentine (2006), online dating is anchored in sparking
connection and making striking first impressions through communicating
self-narratives. is mode of dating explains why users forwarded well-
liked personal fronts such as a pleasing set of photos and attractive bio
declaration and information. ey revealed that they curated their photos
well, presented catchy information about themselves, and consistently
performed themselves as good catches to other users. ey were conscious
of creating a cohesive story, from pictures to words, in order to match their
projected selves and render their identity on social media (Lorenzana,
2016). is finding agreed with past researches that noted how individuals
would present idealized versions of themselves during initial interactions
(Fiore, 2008; Fiore, Taylor, Mendelsohn, & Hearst, 2008; Kacmar & Carlson,
1999). It has also been observed that online dating conversations tend to be
more “hyperpersonal” even in the initial stages as compared to traditional
dating (Valentine, 2006). is hyper personality can be a manifestation of
283Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
a constant effort to catch and sustain the other party’s attention through
conversations, given the pool of other dating app users who are competitors.
ere was also the presence of manipulation of content and this was
only evident among gay men who misrepresented themselves by creating
fake or alternate accounts. Alice Marwick (2013) noted how some users
create multiple accounts to cater to their different networks and audiences.
Such a result is similar to a previous finding that argued that deception
in communicative encounters resorts to manipulation of appearance,
likeability, and competence (Feldman, Forrest, & Happ, 2002). Some also
mystified their selves by enhancing some qualities and deemphasizing
the ones they felt were negative traits (Ellison et al., 2006; Gibbs et al.,
2006; Toma et al., 2008; Toma & Carlson, 2012). However, as observed in
Valentine’s study (2006), the choice to not disclose one’s perceived negative
traits may change when trust and acceptance are established through more
intimate and consistent communication.
e findings of this study agreed with the literature that men tended
to focus on their personalities and socioeconomic status (Hall et al., 2010;
McWilliams & Barrett, 2014) but so did all the other gender groups. While
dating app users generally seek to portray interesting personalities or
feature personal achievements (Lorenzana, 2016), Tinder and Grindr users
specifically used their sexuality and attractiveness as “come-ons” for their
potential matches (Hall et al., 2010; McWilliams & Barrett, 2014). e use
of physical attractiveness further validates the claim that despite apparent
similarities, social media platforms constitute their respective setting and
affordances. New cultures and practices of communication and sociality are
afforded by social media and their various and respective features. Even
though dating apps have the same general idea, each platform offers users a
different kind of experience and set of possibilities while users purposively
choose specific platforms and maximize its affordances (Bucher & Helmond,
2018; Madianou & Miller in Lorenzana, 2016). A study reveals that some
social media users have a clear notion of “wholesome” apps and in fear of
being criticized as sexually liberated, they only maintain an online presence
in these wholesome social media platforms (Cabañes, 2019). ese “idioms
of practice” are the sets of and normative practices in the context of a
specific technology (Gershon in Marwick, 2013).
Contrary to what the literature said about photographic enhancement
(Hancock & Toma, 2009), a majority of the user-informants claimed that this
was no longer blatantly practiced, as the photographic deviations caused
their potential matches to see them negatively. is study, however, found
that those who saw themselves as less attractive in terms of facial features,
height, and even sexual positions (i.e. being bottom and effeminate among
284 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
gays) practiced photographic misrepresentations either by concealing their
height, blurring their faces, or darkening the silhouettes of their photos. I
observed, however, that the accounts of deception were less emphasized
during the course of the interviews. I expected such a scenario as previous
findings revealed that individuals who misrepresented themselves online
would not reveal their deceptive ways that easily (DePaulo, Kashy, Kirkendol,
Wyer, & Epstein, 1996, as cited in Toma, Hancock, & Ellison, 2008; Gibbs
et al., 2006).
It is crucial to consider that technological affordances are both enabling
and constraining (Hutchby & Barnett, as cited in Bucher & Helmond, 2017).
e features (or the lack thereof) of dating apps give rise to new patterns
in communication and interaction and idioms of practice (Bucher &
Helmond, 2017); Gershon in Marwick, 2013). Even if there were limitations
in the features of the mobile app that hindered the interactions of users,
the setting did not impede the users from being creative (Walther, 1996).
e minimal cues that were present in the platform created adaptable users
(Gibbs et al., 2006; Ramirez et al., 2015). Nicole Ellison and colleagues
(2006) labelled this adjustment as “creative workarounds” wherein users
adapted to the features of the platform during the dating process. One of
these workarounds in Tinder, for instance, was the use of various photos
to represent one’s speckled interests. Users who wanted to highlight their
physique would upload many pictures that show their well-toned bodies.
To show that there is a variety in the user’s interest, the person will upload
a favorite book, or any place that the person frequents. For Grindr users,
uploading pictures of one’s body meant that the person was not only
portraying himself as good-looking but also projecting his sexual side.
Overall, self-presentations in mobile dating apps were communication
texts that were combinations of actualized and desired qualities that the
users saw as fitting marketing strategies so that other users could choose
them from the hundreds of others. Ellison and colleagues (2011) claimed
that self-presentations served as promises so that they could become
marketable to others. Over time, online dating app users develop their
own strategies of self-presentation that meet their needs to express and
promote themselves (Goffman in Van Dijck, 2013). I argue that the Filipino
millennials managed to adapt and use this marketing metaphor in creating
their optimized presentations. ey delicately balanced truthfulness and
overemphasis as ways to sell their profiles (Hernez-Broome et al. in Van
Dijck, 2013). ey knew how to gauge which features they had to highlight
and which ones they had to leave behind. ese optimized self-presentation
strategies were used as starting points in allowing the informants’ matches
to choose them among the matches. e use of self-presentation was also
285Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
used as crumbs that led the users to disclose information to their matches.
It became cues that allowed the matches to think about the users’ intent
and plans. Self-presentation calibrated the starting points of the intimate
conversations as it provided a backdrop to the disclosures of the intentions
of the mobile app users.
e findings of this study also revealed that the Filipino millennial
Tinder and Grindr users had control over their self-presentation (Ellison
et al., 2006; Toma, 2016; Fullick, 2013; Toma & Hancock, 2010; Toma et al.,
2008; Whitty, 2008), which is not usually the case in traditional or offline
dating. Tinder and Grindr users were given the power to define their profile
using text and photographs. ey were able to search and stalk other people’s
profiles in various social networking sites and connect with their matches,
too. I agree with the warnings that were written by scholars who advised
users about the threats that the openness that online dating entails (Fiore,
2008; Gibbs et al., 2006) as this causes improper, unethical, and illegal online
acts such as bullying, stalking, and identity theft. Economically speaking,
the apps require monetary investment as users needed to log on to a Wi-Fi
connection or even pay in order to access the app’s extra or full functionality
(Rosen et al., 2008; Whitty & Buchanan, 2009). It is, however, critical to
take into account that any technology has its structure and limits. e same
features that enable users also constrain them (Hutchby & Barnett as cited
in Bucher & Helmond, 2018) and prompt new dynamics in communication
and human relations (Bucher & Helmond, 2018). While there is an
illusion of freedom and choice, these are not absolute. José Van Dijck
(2013) contended that the digital architectures of social media platforms
predetermine the form and content of self-expression and presentation
users can perform. e features, updates, and even advertisements in these
apps elicit a particular type of response and data from users. e platforms
regulate the texts, photographs, and other forms of content shared by users
to networks allowed by the apps. Looking into the broader context, critical
players in online dating also involve developers and businesses who operate
on data analytics while negotiating and meeting user needs. While it can be
said that online apps provide agency to users in their struggle to express and
promote themselves, user performance is still subtly orchestrated by digital
technology and capitalism (Dumdum, 2010). More than being an avenue
dating and relationships, online dating apps facilitate a new culture.
Conclusion
ere is an impact of online dating apps in human relationships. is study
focused on how young Filipinos presented themselves in mobile dating
apps and confirmed that self-presentation allowed users to create an online
286 Labor • Mobile Romantic and Sexual Selves
identity that reflected their intentions and actual engagements with other
dating app users.
e users’ projection of an ideal self-image, whereas they highlight
positive traits and achievements in order to attract and connect with
prospective partners is among the strategies of self-presentation. Creating
consistent narratives of online and offline identities was also deemed essential
by users in order to guarantee other users of their identity authenticity.
Self-censorship is another observed theme as users regulate the type and
amount of information they share on their profiles. ey also deliberate
on what content to share online in order to uphold their positive image.
It was also determined in the findings that users negotiate their identities
online. Some users mystify or deliberately misrepresent themselves in order
to conceal negative traits that might disappoint other users or prevent them
from getting matches. Others opt not to use their real names because of fear
that people who know them will judge them or their sexuality. Meanwhile,
some users frame their details accordingly to idealize themselves and their
characteristics.
e different self-presentation strategies were products of co-created
realities that gave birth to new communication processes and idioms of
practices. e technological affordances of each platform and the entire
online dating scheme was also proven to be enabling and constraining at the
same time. Although dating apps are viewed as a means of self-expression
and self-promotion, banking on the notion that the Internet is a free space,
it was also noted that user performance of identity is regulated and shaped
by the features and architecture of online dating apps and digital technology
as a whole.
287Plaridel • Vol. 17 No. 1 • January - June 2020
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Endnotes
1 Funding for this research was made possible through the Oce of the Chancellor of the
University of the Philippines Diliman through the Oce of the Vice-Chancellor for Academic Aairs and
the Oce of the Vice-Chancellor for Research and Development through the UP PhD Incentive Award.
2 A dissertation grant was also provided by the Commission on Higher Education of the Republic
of the Philippines
JONALOU SAN JUAN LABOR is a communication researcher and an Associate Professor at the UP
College of Mass Communication. He obtained his PhD Communication degree from the University of the
Philippines. His research interests include on and oine communication experiences (corresponding
author: jslabor@up.edu.ph).
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