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Health Care for Women International
ISSN: 0739-9332 (Print) 1096-4665 (Online) Journal homepage: https://www.tandfonline.com/loi/uhcw20
Identification of abuse experiences of South Asian
women in the US and women in Mumbai, India
Shreya Bhandari
To cite this article: Shreya Bhandari (2020): Identification of abuse experiences of South Asian
women in the US and women in Mumbai, India, Health Care for Women International
To link to this article: https://doi.org/10.1080/07399332.2020.1725765
Published online: 30 Mar 2020.
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Identification of abuse experiences of South Asian
women in the US and women in Mumbai, India
Shreya Bhandari
Department of Social Work, Wright State University, Dayton, Ohio, USA
ABSTRACT
The authors describe the experiences of abuse drawn from in-
depth interviews conducted with 20 South Asian women in
the United States and a sample of 21 abused women in
Mumbai, India. We describe five major themes that identify
the nature of domestic violence experienced in these two
contexts, barriers to help-seeking and exiting abuse, and the
process of ending the abusive relationship. The research sheds
light on the similarities and differences in the two contexts.
We outlined the similarities in the following themes (a) type
of abuse, (b) treatment of children (c) abandonment. We
found differences in the following themes (d) joint meeting,
(e) back and forth between natal and marital home.
ARTICLE HISTORY
Received 25 April 2019
Accepted 31 January 2020
We set out to examine and identify the experiences of 20 South Asian
women in the United States and 21 women from Mumbai (India) in an
abusive relationship. The rationale for the current study was that there is
dearth of identification of similarities and differences in these two contexts
and an insight into the abuse experiences will aid in informing social work-
ers, advocates and other helping professionals working with abused women
globally. The authors identified the experiences of South Asian women in
the United States in the context of cultural, language and immigration bar-
riers along with rigid patriarchal and gender norms. On the other hand,
the experiences of Indian women are identified in the context of poverty,
lack of resources and the rigid patriarchal and gender norms. South Asians
are those who trace their lineage to one or more of the following countries:
India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, Nepal, Sri Lanka, Bhutan, and Maldives
(SAALT, 2019). India is the second populous country in the world with a
population of 1.2 billion (Census of India, 2011) and about 5.4 million
South Asians live in the United States. Among the 5.4 million South Asians
in the US, more than 80% trace their lineage to India (SAALT, 2019).
There is a growing South Asian immigration not just to the United States,
CONTACT Shreya Bhandari shreya.bhandari@wright.edu Department of Social Work, Wright State
University, 271 Millett Hall, 3640 Colonel Glenn Hwy, Dayton, OH 45435-0001, USA.
ß2020 Taylor & Francis Group, LLC
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL
https://doi.org/10.1080/07399332.2020.1725765
but also to other western countries of the world. Hence, the identification
of abuse experiences between women from India and South Asian women
in the United States will aid in the understanding of policy makers, advo-
cates and clinicians working with this population anywhere in the world.
South Asians in the US and domestic violence
Tjaden and Thoennes (1998) estimate that one in four women experience
abuse in their life time, however, the rates of domestic violence (DV)
among immigrant women in the United States is estimated to be as high as
60% (Brownridge & Halli, 2002; Field & Caetano, 2003; Hassouneh-Philips,
2001; Kim & Sung, 2000; Loun & Vega, 2001; Raj & Silverman, 2003; Tran
& Des Jardins, 2000; Yick, 2000; Yoshihama, 2002; Yoshioka & Dang,
2000). Specifically in the South Asian community, inspite of being termed
as ‘model minority’, the rates of DV are as high as 40–60% (Mahapatra,
2012; Raj & Silverman, 2002). Along with high rates of DV among South
Asian immigrant groups, they face a number of barriers including but not
limited to language, culture, and immigration among others (Jordan &
Bhandari, 2016).
Domestic violence in India
The rates of domestic violence in India are varied with some studies
reporting it as low as 6% in the state of Himachal Pradesh and some as
high as 59% in the state of Bihar (Charlette, Nongkynrih, & Gupta, 2012;
Garcia-Moreno, Jansen, Ellsberg, Heise, & Watts, 2005). The rates vary due
to the differences in methodology of conducting such studies. Sabri,
Renner, Stockman, Mittal, and Decker (2014) found a number of risk fac-
tors for victimization of women in India with DV, which included, but was
not limited to low or no education, poverty, and rural residence for both
severe physical abuse and injuries (Jeyaseelan et al., 2007; Kyriacou et al.,
1999; Martin et al., 2002). The risk of DV victimization also increased with
more number of children and with every additional child in the family,
there was an 11–12% increase in women’s exposure to severe physical
abuse and domestic violence related injuries (Sabri et al., 2014).
South Asian/Indian culture
In recent decades, there has been a substantial growth in the number of
Indian immigrants in the United States; 2,918,807 to roughly 4,094,539.
Indians also comprise the largest segment of the South Asian community,
making up over 80% of the total population, followed by Pakistanis,
Bangladeshis, Nepali, Sri Lankans, and Bhutanese (SAALT, 2019). Since
2 S. BHANDARI
India is the largest country in the Indian sub-continent and also makes up
majority of the South Asian immigrant population, there is immense
Indian influence on South Asia as a whole; hence the culture described
below applies to both groups (South Asian women in the US and women
in India). Most marriages in South Asia are arranged by families and the
focus is more so on caste (for Hindu marriages) and denomination (for
other religions) rather than love between two individuals (Ahmad, Driver,
McNally, & Stewart, 2009; Guruge & Humphreys, 2009). Marriages are
considered to be a union between two families and the bride’s family pro-
vides dowry to the groom and his side of the family (Anitha, 2011;
Kallivayalil, 2010; Mason et al., 2008; Shirwadkar, 2004). The bride then
becomes a member of the groom’s side of the family and is at the lowest
rung of the ladder in the family hierarchy. South Asians believe in values
like family before self, Karma (destiny), honor, harmony, collectivism,
among others. Men are considered to be the dominant members while
women are socialized to be subordinate members of the family. Women
gain social status by keeping their marriage intact and bearing sons to take
the family name forward (Bhandari, 2018; Finfgeld-Connett & Johnson,
2013). Abuse in the South Asian culture is not just perpetrated by the
intimate partner but also by members of in-laws side of the family (Jordan
& Bhandari, 2016). When abuse occurs, South Asian women tend to min-
imize it as they do not want to hamper family harmony, and/or fear losing
the custody of their children. The onus of keeping the marriage together is
generally on women and divorces are highly stigmatized. There is an
incredible amount of shame and blame involved and divorce brings bad
reputation to both the bride and groom’s side of the family (Ahmad et al.,
2009; Anitha, 2010,2011; Grewal, 2004; Hyman et al., 2006; Kanukollu &
Mahalingam, 2011; Lee & Hadeed, 2009; Naved, Azim, Bhuiya, & Persson,
2006; Tonsing & Barn, 2017). The above description of culture can be
applied in the South Asian as well as the Indian context.
In case of South Asian population in the United States, there is an extra
layer of barrier that the women encounter due to relocation to a foreign
country. Since in most cases men immigrate and women follow them, the
women are dependent on their husbands financially as well as to maintain
their legal immigration status (Midlarsky, Venkataramani-Kothari, & Plante,
2006). Further, ignorance of laws and rules in the United States, lack of infor-
mation about the functioning of immigration and legal systems and finally
fear of deportation make South Asian women more reluctant to report abuse.
It is within this social context that South Asian women in the United States
are hesitant to report domestic violence (Finfgeld-Connett & Johnson, 2013).
With the two groups being so distinct, we have utilized intersectionality
to examine the experiences of women in different contexts; to see how
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 3
gender, class and immigration status/location come together to shape their
experiences. Abused women in both settings have different social member-
ships and though their experience with abuse, their gender identification
being female and to some extent the South Asian ethnic context may be
similar, there are several areas in which these two groups of women are
different. They are different in social class, immigrant status, and mainly
the location of residence being India, a developing county as compared to
being in the United States which is a developed country. Intersectionality
states that membership in a certain group can create privilege or oppres-
sion and because the memberships cut across individuals, and are not
mutually exclusive, the women may experience both advantage and disad-
vantage simultaneously. Hence, the intersectionality approach can be uti-
lized in this analyses (O’Neal & Beckman, 2016).
Current study
While there is documentation of abuse experiences of South Asian women
in the US (Bhandari, 2018; Jordan & Bhandari, 2016; Mahapatra &
DiNitto, 2013; Raj & Silverman, 2002) and Indian women (Bhandari &
Hughes, 2017; Kalokhe et al., 2015), there is no study, to our knowledge
where the authors have identified the experiences of two groups. According
to the Pew Research Center (2012), Asian Indians is the largest subgroup
of South Asians in the US and hence the identification of similarities and
differences of experiences of South Asian women with women from India
is pertinent. The authors reflect on the data collected from in-depth inter-
views conducted with abused South Asian women in the United States and
women from India and draw on similarities and differences in their
experiences.
Theoretical framework
The current study used the Duluth model (Pence & Paymar, 1993) that
was developed based on the experiences of 200 abused women in a battered
women’s shelter in Duluth, Minnesota. The wheel is a diagram of the tac-
tics that the abusive partner uses to keep the victim in the relationship.
While the inside of the wheel is comprised of subtle, continual behaviors,
the outer ring represents physical, visible violence (see Figure 1). The eight
tactics presented in the Power and Control Wheel include: (1) using coer-
cion & threats, (2) using intimidation, (3) using emotional abuse, (4) using
isolation, (5) minimizing, denying and blaming, (6) using children, and (7)
using male privilege, (8) using economic abuse. The outermost circle of the
wheel illustrates the function of physical violence in supporting the power
and control tactics. The examples of physical abuse include acts such as
4 S. BHANDARI
pushing, shoving, beating, choking, etc., that fortify the various tactics of
control within the wheel (see Figure 1). The types of DV stated in the inner
and the outer circle of the wheel are universal in nature and applicable glo-
bally (Bhandari & Hughes, 2017; Pence & Paymar, 1993).
Method
Data collection procedure
South Asian
Participants for the South Asian study were recruited through the agency staff
of five South Asian women’s organizations (SAWOs) in the U.S after receiv-
ing permission from the University Institutional Review Board. The agency
staff at the SAWO contacted women who were in an emotional state to par-
ticipate in the study and sought their oral consent. The contact information
was then shared with the author who contacted the woman and sought an
Figure 1. Duluth power and control wheel. Reproduced with permission.
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 5
oral consent over the telephone at a safe time. A copy of the informed con-
sent was mailed to the participant at a safe address. The eligibility criterion
for the woman to participate was if she was of South Asian origin and had
sought help at the SAWO for DV. Women were not excluded from the study
if they did not speak English. All in-depth interviews except one (which was
conducted in Hindi and later translated into English), were conducted in
English. One interview was conducted in a public library while all others
were conducted over the telephone. The in-depth interviews lasted for an
average of 2 h. All the participants agreed for their interviews to be taped
except one where the author took elaborate notes which were included in the
analysis. All the other taped interviews were transcribed verbatim and ana-
lyzed. The information gathered was kept confidential and pseudonyms are
used to protect participants’identification. The participants were provided
with a $15 e-gift card after the completion of a one-time in-depth interview.
Indian
Participants for the India study were recruited through the assistance of staff of
four social service agencies providing services to women facing domestic vio-
lence after receiving permission from the University’s Institutional Review
Board. The staff at the four agencies reviewed the case files and assessed the
women who were emotionally prepared to participate in the study. The staff
then requested the women to meet the author at the agency to participate in a
one-time in-depth interview. After the informed consent was obtained, the
interviews were conducted in Hindi and Marathi, audio-taped and later tran-
scribed and translated into English. The author conducted the in-depth inter-
views that lasted from 1 to 3 h behind closed doors in the social service agency.
Sample
South Asian
For the participants in the South Asian study, the countries of origin were
India, n¼13; Pakistan, n¼4; Bangladesh, n¼1; United Kingdom, n¼1;
Canada, n¼1. The average number of years of stay in the US was
12.5 years. The mean age of the participants was 38.8 years, (ranging from
26 to 66 years). Most women (n¼18) were separated or divorced while
some (n¼2) were still married to their abusive partners at the time of the
interview. Among the participants, the highest annual family income was
$3,00,000 and the lowest was $40,000. The main issue with reporting the
family income was that few women did not know the correct family
income as it was either hidden from them or never disclosed accurately to
them. Additional demographic details are described in Table 1.
6 S. BHANDARI
Table 1. Socio-demographic details per participant (South Asian) socio-demographics.
Participant Country Age Religion Visa status
Number of
children
Type of
marriage
Employment
status
Highest level
of education
1 India 35 Sikh L2/Will file for
U Visa
2 Arranged Unemployed College graduate
2 India 43 Hindu Permanent resident 1 Arranged Employed PT Postgraduate
3 India 35 Hindu U.S. citizen 1 Arranged Unemployed Postgraduate
4 India 41 Jain Permanent resident 0 Arranged Unemployed College graduate
5 Pakistan 26 Muslim B2 Visa,
VAWA filed
0 Arranged Unemployed College graduate
6 India 27 Hindu F1 0 Arranged Student College graduate
7 India 41 Hindu U.S. Citizen 1 Arranged Unemployed Postgraduate
8 India 31 Hindu Permanent resident 1 Arranged Unemployed College graduate
9 Pakistan 39 Muslim U.S. citizen 1 Arranged Employed FT College graduate
10 India 33 Jain Permanent resident 0 Arranged Student Postgraduate
11 India 33 Hindu Permanent resident 1 Arranged Employed FT Postgraduate
12 Pakistan 31 Muslim F1 0 Arranged Unemployed Postgraduate
13 India 42 Muslim EAD, Pending I-360 0 Arranged Employed FT Postgraduate
14 Canada 34 Muslim U.S. citizen 1 Love Employed FT Technical school
15 Pakistan 45 Muslim U.S. citizen 2 Arranged 1 FT & 1 PT College graduate
16 India 45 Muslim U.S. citizen 0 Arranged Employed PT Postgraduate
17 India 66 No religion U.S. citizen 1 Love Retired PT Postgraduate
18 United
Kingdom
35 Hindu Permanent resident 1 Arranged/
Love
PT Associate’s degree
19 India 57 Hindu U.S. citizen 3 Arranged Unemployed Postgraduate
20 Bangladesh 37 Muslim U.S. citizen 0 Arranged Unemployed College graduate
PT ¼Part-time.
FT ¼Full-time.
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 7
Indian
For the participants in the Indian study, the mean age of the participants
was 31 years. Participants’marital statues included married (n¼14), sepa-
rated (n¼5), and widowed (n¼2). Fourteen participants (two thirds)
reported not living with the abuser; the other seven were still living with
the abuser at the time of the interview. The average annual income level of
participants who worked was 50,000 rupees ($714), whereas the average
annual family income was 129,000 rupees ($1842). Additional demographic
details are described in Table 2.
Data analysis
The authors thoroughly reviewed the transcript of every participant in the
South Asian and Indian study to get clarity of thought as well as to gain
familiarity with each woman’s story. The next step in the analysis involved
open coding of data whereby data were broken down and examined, and
then a process of categorizing and labeling took place according to emerging
themes or concepts. The author applied open coding strategy defined by
Saldana (2012) to identify similarities and differences between the experiences
of South Asian women and women from India with domestic violence. In
practice, this meant that the author generated a label/code that summarized
an attribute in the transcripts. These codes were used to make comparisons
and to identify patterns in the transcribed interviews of the participants. The
codes were then reconciled to create the following themes explained below.
Findings
The similarities and differences between the two groups are described through
the following themes. The similarities are (a) type of abuse, (b) treatment of
children, (c) abandonment; the differences are (d) joint meetings (e) back and
forth between natal and marital home. All the names associated with the com-
ments are pseudonyms. The abuse experiences of South Asian women in the
United States and women in India were in line with the power and control
wheel. Constant abuse and control by the abuser and active resistance by the
women were the central themes (Pence & Paymar, 1993).
Similarities
Type of abuse
South Asian women in the United States and women from India experi-
enced various types of violence; such as, physical, financial, emotional and
sexual. In several situations, there was more than one type of abuse
8 S. BHANDARI
intertwined with each other. The women from both groups also described
several instances of abuse and insensitive behavior from husbands and their
families during pregnancy. The purpose of the descriptions of abuse below
is not to determine which group experienced more severe abuse than the
other, but to account for the various ways in which these women were
abused. The following is an example of how this South Asian participant
was treated when she refused to have sex with her husband on
their honeymoon.
So …then we got married and then we went for our honeymoon in Malaysia and
uhh …Singapore and, umm, we actually went to Singapore and then we went to
Malaysia and then I was tired at 2 am, in the morning he wanted to have sex with
me and I refused. Refused in the sense, I was tired so I just, you know? And then he
started pounding on the bed and he told me that: you are refusing me for sex; you
can’t even do this for me! And I was like, what am I going to do? I am sitting in an
alien country. I’ve stepped out of my country for the first time. So I didn’t say
anything, but I …he asked me to sleep on the floor. He slept on the bed and I slept
on the floor (South Asian, participant 1)
The following is an example of a participant from India who experi-
enced violence.
When he becomes angry he uses foul language, he would hit me with anything. His
language becomes so foul and utters obscenities that I couldn’t tolerate that. He
would also hit me hard, he would break anything when he hits me with that. When
he is hitting me with something he doesn’t think that I would bleed or pain or
something, he just keeps hitting. After that he doesn’t even bothers about my
wounds, he doesn’t see that I am in pain because of those wounds and blood. He
doesn’t care at all. (Indian, participant 2)
Table 2. Socio-demographic details per participant (India).
Participant Age Religion
Length of
marriage
Employment
status
Highest level
of education
1 33 Christian 13 Employed 7th–9th
2 35 Muslim 19 Employed 7th
3 30 Buddhist 10 Unemployed 10th–12th
4 23 Hindu 4 Unemployed 10th–12th
5 20 Buddhist 5 Unemployed 7th–9th
6 33 Hindu 2 Unemployed 8th
7 24 Hindu 7 Employed 8th
8 28 Hindu 3 Employed High school
9 23 Hindu 2 Unemployed 8th
10 25 Hindu 10 Employed 8th
11 29 Hindu 1 Employed In high school
12 30 Hindu 12 Employed 7th
13 61 Hindu 40 Unemployed Sophomore
14 23 Hindu 0.75 Employed Graduate
15 34 Hindu 20 Unemployed 9th
16 24 Hindu 4 Employed 7th
17 48 Hindu 35 Employed No formal education
18 40 Buddhist 0 Employed 3rd grade
19 31 Buddhist 15 Employed 7th grade
20 30 Muslim 5 Employed In postgraduate course
21 26 Hindu 2 Unemployed College graduate
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 9
Abuse during pregnancy was prevalent in both the groups. The following
comment by a South Asian women emphasizes that,
They had done a pregnancy test at home to confirm that I am pregnant. My mother-
in-law warned me to not to disclose my pregnancy to my mother and nobody should
come to know about it. Then my condition started worsening. I became very weak
that I was not able to stand, but I had to do all the house chores. Then I started
getting bleeding with that pregnancy. I used to vomit after every minute with blood
in there. They would not take me to a doctor. They [in-laws side of the family] used
to say that it happens with everybody. I told them that I am dying, my condition is
getting worse. They said, it is happening here, but in Pakistan women give birth even
in …. Then I kept crying and I felt that I would die. My husband used to follow her
mother’s instructions blindly and used to say that I was acting such. (South Asian,
participant 5)
The following comment from a participant in India displays abuse dur-
ing pregnancy.
After that I got pregnant, the doctor advised not to lift heavy things, otherwise there
would be trouble to my legs and embryo in my womb. Then, I would not lift big
pots, then still she [mother-in-law] would say, “In our times, we would fill the pots
and carry them on our head, what problem you have now, nothing doing, you have
to fill water”. Then I would do it, if she asked me to do it, he also would not get up
in the morning at that time (Indian, participant 4).
Thus, both groups of women experienced severe violence in many forms,
the in-laws side of the family was involved and even pregnancy was not a
peaceful period in their lives.
Treatment of children
Women in both groups strived to be best mothers and protect their chil-
dren from their abusive fathers. In most cases in both groups, the abusers
did not care for their children at all; it was either in terms of uncaring,
insensitive attitude toward the child and/or being blatantly abusive toward
them. In some cases, the women reconciled with their abusive husband if
they found that he could be a better provider for the welfare of the chil-
dren. Women made difficult choices, in some cases when they decided to
reconcile with their abusive husbands and in some others in spite of not
having adequate resources, decided to leave if living with the abusive hus-
band would have harmed their children. This was true especially among
women from India when they feared that their daughters could be sexually
abused by the abusive father. The following comment from a South Asian
participant is an example of how the abuser did not care about the com-
forts of her daughter at all.
Because you know, he even cut off the electricity knowing living in Texas 100, 110,
104 degree temperature. You know that your daughter lives there. It’s not me alone.
10 S. BHANDARI
So he doesn’t even care about her. She was fainted so many times because she was
getting depressed, crying for her daddy, you know missing my daddy and this and
that with all the situation but that poor child get up by herself since the age of 7.
(South Asian, participant 9)
The following comment shows how this participant from India feared
that their daughters would be sexually abused by her abusive husband.
He was trying to misbehave with her sister’s daughter and then again with his
brother’s daughter. He again got a beating for that. He would try to be sexual with
any and all women. How much can I hit him for the same thing. When I saw that
he was trying to do the same thing with his own daughter from the first wife, I
raised my voice. He hit me very badly. How much can I tolerate? In a few days my
daughter will become young and I can’t let her be subject of his immorality. Then
my life is a waste, then there’s no point living with you. It’d be better if I take my
daughter away from such a wolf and work and feed her. I can marry her off to a
poor’s house, it’s okay with me. (Indian, participant 2)
Uncaring and insensitive attitude toward children was a common theme
among both groups too. The following comment from a woman from
India emphasized that:
I was sleeping on the streets with children but he never cared, that I was sleeping on
the street with a young daughter and there are bad people all around. I and my
daughter had to go on the streets to pee but he never cared that we may be harmed
or raped or something. (Indian, participant 2)
Another woman from India shared how she would not be able to pro-
vide for her children and hence was pressurized to reconcile with her abu-
sive husband
Tomorrow he shall go to college, I’d face financial problem, then he will get married
and needs a house. All that is not possible on my part. If he has father I can pass
that responsibility to him, my life is over. I am ready to do what you say. My
parents also said that husband is husband, you’re young now what will you do
alone? What else can you do in future? Can you provide a house to your son or
paternal love? If they want let your son live with them, at least he will get a house
and a secured future. So I accepted him. (Indian, participant 1)
Women in both groups tried to provide the best lives for their children,
in some cases by reconciling with their abusive husband or in some others
by leaving the abusive home. Protection of children became the impetus
for the women to take decisions about their abusive relationships.
Abandonment
Abandonment by the husband was another common theme that emerged
in both groups. If the husband or his side of the family did not feel that
the woman was a ‘good wife’or a ‘good daughter-in-law’, they made plans
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 11
to replace her. In case of women from India, abandonment took place by
sending her back to the natal family and not letting her in the matrimonial
home. In the case of South Asian women, abandonment took different
forms; sending her to the home country, and then leaving her there by not
booking her tickets back to the United States. The other form was on
arrival to the United States move her to a new city, or the abuser himself
leave the house and abscond.
His [her husband’s] grandfather passed away and umm, uhh, after that, uhh, he,
uhh …he [abusive husband] left us all [the participant and their two sons] in India.
We were all supposed to come back on the 21st January, and 20th January he came
here and he got our tickets cancelled. And there was no money in the Indian
accounts. I had to come back here [United States] because he had uprooted me, you
know? …. So, basically, umm, I got my tickets reinstated, I borrowed money and I
came back here on the 26th and I found out that he had hacked into my email
account, and wrote himself a threatening email and he, he had left a house and there
was no food in the house, the, the bathroom was dirty, it had all semen and urine
on the floor. And there was, there were no car keys, no telephone in the house. He
left the house. (South Asian, participant 1)
Another South Asian participant who was sent to India, actually was
brought back to a new city and kept in a hotel with her newborn.
And then I came to xx city, his father and his sister, both of them came to pick me
upandbothofthemtheydroppedmeinasuite.Ididn’tknowwhatwas
happening. I thought even he was also there in that suite …. Then his sister and
all one day came and said, my visa expired and then they all came and said, ‘we all
are illegal’. If cops know that you are living in a hotel, this is booked on your
name and all that, they will come and get you.”I was so scared, I called 911 then.
Then I was like “no,thisisnotworkingup.”I remember the yy city number that I
had, the women’s organization number, I called them and I said “can you please
take me from there? I don’t know anything in xx city. I don’t have anything with
me, but I’m staying back,”but then I think they are from last, the she referred me
to one of the organizations here in xx city, that is zz [SAWO] (South Asian,
participant 12)
In desperation, she finally called 911 that connected her to the South
Asian women’s organization (SAWO). A participant from India explains
that in her 13 years of marriage, she has lived for 8 years with her mother.
She explains, “Iamatmymom’s place for the last 8 years and I’m married
for 13 years. So we started fighting and started staying with my mom for
3 months, 6 months …(Indian, participant 1). In situations where women
have tried to reenter into the homes, they have been not allowed to. The
following comment from an Indian participant explains,
I had gone with him twice, but neither my mother-in-law nor my husband took me
in the house, my brother had also come to drop me here, but those people did not
take me in the house, also the room in which I was living on rent, they directly
vacated it and took the luggage to their house (Indian, participant 11).
12 S. BHANDARI
Another participant from India shares how she was coaxed by her matri-
monial family to go to her natal family and never allowed back in the
matrimonial family. She explains in the following comment,
I didn’t want to leave them [marital family], didn’t want to stay at my father’s house.
Not at all. But I don’t know how. My husband said I’d drop you at your father’s
place and I would come to the marriage after two days with our daughter, you don’t
worry I am there with you. Saying this, I thought okay if they are persisting I should
trust them. They [Husband and his parents] came to attend the marriage with my
child but I couldn’t get to know when they went back because the hall where the
ceremonies were taking place was too far. I just didn’t realize when they went back.
Later they called me and asked, ‘how was I?’I said, ‘You didn’t wait for me, I was
ready with packed bags. I went to fetch my bags and by the time I came back you’re
gone’. They didn’t talk to anyone, nor to my father. My father said okay, ‘I will bring
my daughter to your house and you can talk to me whatever issues you have?’They
said, ‘No, you don’t bring her now, we shall come to pick her up. You don’t stress’.
They did the same thing 2–3 times. My father said if they are coming to take you
well and good, you can go with them only. So this went on and on and I stayed here
only [father’s house]. (Indian, participant 9).
A participant from India who did not want to leave her abusive husband
and actually continue to stay with him explains,
That’s up to me whether I would live with him or not. I want to live with him even
if I have to give my life but I would live only with him, come what may. My
relatives are not backing off or I am not backing off. I haven’t done anything wrong,
why should I divorce him. I told everybody that I would live only with you. When I
kept in touch with you over the phone only for three years why would I leave you
now? Why would I marry again? I won’t marry again nor will I let him remarry. I
would live with him come what may. (Indian, participant 10).
Women in both groups were abandoned by the husband and/or his side
of the family. It was just that abandonment was slightly different in nature
among South Asian women as compared to women from India.
Differences
The following themes: (d) joint meetings and (e) back and forth between
natal and matrimonial home highlight the differences between the
two groups.
Joint meetings
Family was involved in the lives of women in both groups to help resolve
conflicts between the couple. The joint meetings were a common occur-
rence between the family members on natal and in-laws side in both
groups, and at times involving the person who helped fix the marriage.
However, especially in case of women from India, the joint meetings
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 13
between the two sides occurred in the office of women’s organization
where family members from both sides were invited. Joint meetings
between family members occurred with the South Asian women in the
United States too, but the nature of meetings and the frequency was differ-
ent. South Asian women talked about such meetings occurring over video
and telephonic conference calls. In the current sample, the SAWOs were
not involved in the joint meetings as in most cases when women contacted
the SAWO, she had already made the decision to leave the abusive hus-
band. The following comment from a woman from India highlights how
difficult it was to get the abusive husband in the office of the community
organization.
We had it [joint meeting] today only. We told him how things are, when we called
him [the abusive husband], first he said, ‘I will not come, second time when we
called, he said, I will come’, then again when I said, ‘On 28th’, he said, ‘I will not be
able to come on 28th, I have some work’, then again he said, ‘I will come on 3rd,’he
said, ‘I have work, third time what these people said, ‘if you don’t come, we will file
a case, then he came immediately with a family friend, that person asked him, are
you ready to let her live with you.’(Indian, participant 6)
A South Asian participant shared how they were all on a phone call with
family members from both sides.
The next morning, there was an conference [phone] in which me, ABC [abusive
husband], XYZ [husband’s sister-in-law], my parents in Bhopal and his elder brother
is from Mumbai, ABC’s [husband’s] elder brother, and all were asking us to …. they
are having some problems, what problems are there? ….but I never said you those
kind of words and …(South Asian, participant 6)
The joint meetings were used as a complaint session where women were
accused of not being ideal home makers. Unfortunately abuse toward the
woman was rarely the focus of the meeting. If face-to face joint meetings
with both sides of the family occurred among South Asian women, it was
usually when they went back home to visit their family. The following
comment shows:
After one-and-half years we went back to India for family visit and that [was] our
first visit after our marriage …. They took one meeting, literally meeting like they
called my parents and my parents live like almost 200 kilometers or 250 kilometers
away from his home so they called my parents, my sister, my brother-in-law, to his
uncle’s place and literally it was one meeting. So his uncle’s family, his family, my
family and the middle person who were in between during the marriage, so that
middle man, and literally it was till morning 3 o’clock. It was like they were all
telling, they were blaming me especially his father and mother that she doesn’t cook.
She makes his son to clean the things, to wash the pan, I don’t know when I told
him, but they were blaming all that in that meeting and that was really shock for me.
I went to India to visit his family. I was totally blank and I was like, I didn’t know
that they are planning these things behind me.
14 S. BHANDARI
Back and forth between marital and natal home
The South Asian women in the United States did not constantly go back
and forth between the marital and natal home mainly due to the geograph-
ical distance with their marital home being in the US and natal home in
the home country. The South Asian women also did not want to go back
to the home country, but preferred instead to lead their lives independently
in the US, after leaving their abusive husbands. They feared the stigma of
broken marriage and loss of control over their own lives if they went back
to the home country. The women from India, on the other hand, saw going
back to the natal family temporarily as a method of coping from the abuse
and also as a means to pressurize the marital family to treat them better.
Natal family in the beginning may not have been supportive toward abu-
sive women, but seemed to be the default system of support and was geo-
graphically feasible to rely upon for women in India.
South Asian
In spite of being abandoned or coaxed and/or forced to go back to the
home country by the abuser, the South Asian women resisted it. Women
feared being stigmatized and blamed for not keeping their marriage intact.
However, if they continued to stay in the United States, they could live
under anonymity and did not have to deal with people from their own
community pointing fingers at them for being unable to keep their mar-
riage intact. The following comment by the South Asian participant who
feared being stigmatized, wanted to live with her children in the United
States, rather than going back to India.
If there is a way, I would prefer to stay here (US) …. Because, at least—see for the
past one year, nobody has pointed fingers at me (South Asian, participant 1)
Indian
For most women from India, going to the natal family was a form of res-
cue from severe violence that the women experienced at the hands of their
husbands or in-laws. At times, women left at the spur of the moment or
called their natal family members to come and take them away. This con-
stant back and forth between the two homes continued for some time, in
many cases for several years. A participant from India explains it, “When
my husband beat me last time and my mother had gone there to know the
reason, he said bad words to her also and then my mother brought to her
home”(Indian, participant 17). Another participant from India in 2 years
of her marriage who had a quarrel with her mother-in-law and husband
immediately came to her mother’s house.
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 15
Yes, yes, I immediately came to my mother’shouse…It’s been twice so far I have come
[mothers’shouse]…Now, the condition which is there in the house, should I not tell it
to my mother? To whom I would tell my pains, I would tell it to my mother only, I tell
ittomotheronly.(Indian,participant7).
About going back to the matrimonial home, she said that she involved
the women’s organization and said that, “No, now I have done Mahila
Mandal [women’s organization], hence they [in-laws family] have to come
[for joint meeting]”
Discussion
With over a billion people in India and about 5.4 million South Asian
immigrants in the United States (SAALT, 2019), and higher prevalence
rates of DV in both populations, the authors aim to reach out to agencies
and social service providers working with abused women in India as well
as with South Asians in the US. The unique responses to abuse and their
comparison draws light on how domestic violence is dealt differently when
the South Asians move to a different country, but is also very similar to
what women in India go through. The authors find it important for profes-
sionals and social service providers all over the world working with South
Asian survivors of DV to have the knowledge of what abused women go
through in their home country before immigrating to a foreign country.
The authors have identified the experiences of abuse of women from India
and South Asian women in the United States. Abusive husbands isolated
the women in both groups, but more so for the South Asian women, and
in several instances prevented them from contacting their natal family back
in the home country. With isolation and limited social support, the condi-
tion of South Asian women was very dire in the United States. This has
been reported in other similar studies conducted with South Asian women
(Abraham, 2000; Finfgeld-Connett & Johnson, 2013).
The urge to protect their children was similar in both groups which has
been found in other studies conducted in the US with nonimmigrant popu-
lation as well (Bhandari, Bullock, Anderson, Danis, & Sharps, 2011). The
authors found that women with whatever limited resources, took steps to
protect their children from abusive fathers. India does not have a formal
child welfare system like the United States and hence cases where women
feared their children would be abused, fled the abusive homes with their
children rather than reporting to the law enforcement. This also could be
due to ignorance about the existence of formal services in dealing with
abuse. It could also be due to the general perception that formal services
like police and court systems to not aid much in reducing DV (Ahmad
et al., 2009; Decker et al., 2013).
16 S. BHANDARI
Abandonment by the husband or his side of the family occurred in both
the groups. In spite of the two groups belonging to different income levels,
there were more similarities between the groups than there were differences.
The difference was mainly as the South Asian women in the United States
were by themselves and had left their social support back in the home coun-
try. Transnational and domestic abandonment has become an emerging prob-
lem and needs to be viewed as DV on a continuum where women are
deprived of their rights and further victimized (Anitha, Yalamarty, & Roy,
2018;Bajpai,2013). Women on the other hand in both groups sought to
restore their marriage in spite of facing violence and abandonment. They
were willing to compromise and live with the abusive husband since divorce
is highly stigmatized in the South Asian culture (Jordan & Bhandari, 2016).
South Asian women’s organizations (SAWOs) catered to the needs of abused
women who contacted them rather than holding joint meetings with the couple
or the extended family. It is not known if joint meetings conducted in commu-
nity organizations in India helped in reducing or even halting the women’s
abuse. This could be an area for further investigation. Joint meetings were
occasions where the husband’s side of the family had a list of complaints in
instances where the woman did not abide by the gender norms, for example,
cooking, cleaning and other household duties. In other words, not performing
the household duties to meet the expectations of the husband or in-laws side
of the family seemed to be an immediate pretext to get abused in the first
place. Thus, women in low-income Indian or high income South Asian families
still need to prove themselves in light of stricter gender roles by portraying
good housekeeping skills. This also highlights on how gender roles are enforced
across class boundaries, and coercion and control constrains and exploits wom-
en’s performance of domestic labor in a similar manner across groups.
Other researchers have shown evidence that supports South Asian women
delaying help-seeking for reasons of shame and stigma with abuse (Ahmad
et al., 2009; Mahapatra & DiNitto, 2013).Ourfindingsechoprevious
researchers that the first line of help is sought with the natal family and then
women resort to community based women’s organizations and other formal
sources (Decker et al., 2013). When women were in the United States, the
geographical distance prevented them from constant back and forth between
the matrimonial and natal homes, and hence the involvement with the natal
family was limited and not to the extent it was with Indian women. In spite
of the geographical distance, it is important to understand that both South
Asian and Indian women did not want to take steps against the wishes of
their families since most marriages are arranged by families. Moreover mar-
riages are considered to be union between two families (Natarajan, 2002).
Hence the natal families are the support system that the women rely on and
may want to stay loyal to them (Finfgeld-Connett & Johnson, 2013). Though
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 17
most women in both groups mentioned that the first response of the natal
family was usually negative, eventually when the abuse increased, they started
helping them. Klein (2012) states that when a victim impacted by trauma dis-
closes abuse to an individual in the informal network, their negative response
adds to the trauma. Hence, ridiculing, or blaming the victim increases barriers
to seek help and further recover from abuse. The informal network, in this
case, the natal family has immense power to actually create an entire defin-
ition of the situation for some women of their experience (Klein, 2012). This
reliance on informal sources of support is not unique to South Asian women
and hence it is important to reflect on how this might take different forms or
have different implications for the sample of women interviewed in Mumbai
and among the South Asian diaspora in the US.
Abuse by in-laws side of the family and family involvement as was reported
in the current study has also been reported in other studies (Ragavan, Fikre,
Millner, & Bair-Merritt, 2018; Raj, Livramento, Santana, Gupta, & Silverman,
2006). After marriage, it is typical for the woman to move either with or close
to the in-laws side of the family since partilocality is preferred over matrilocal-
ity and the new bride has a subordinate status (Bhandari, 2018;Rajetal.,2006;
Natarajan, 2002). Abuse by the female members of the in-laws side of the fam-
ily needs to be analyzed from a feminist angle. It serves the patriarchal interest
of dividing the women and the older women controlling the younger ones so
that male interests are served. The abuse from mother-in-law, sister-in-law and
other females needs to be viewed in light of the larger oppressive patriarchal
structure or more so as a substitute of men’s violence toward women to ensure
that the patriarchal power is intact (Fernandez, 1997;Kandiyoti,1988).
From an intersectionality perspective, this analysis gives voice to the
experiences of abused women from India and South Asian women in the
United States. There is dearth of documentation of experiences of these
two groups in the mainstream literature. Even though the two groups
belong to different social class; women from Mumbai being low-income
and South Asian survivors in the US belonging to the middle class; the
middle class position of the South Asian survivors may be complicated by
gender. Many women may experience intra household poverty due to eco-
nomic and other forms of abuse despite being in a middle class family.
They may not have access to any resources, income or family wealth due
to the abuse they are experiencing. Hence in spite of two different contexts,
there are similarities in the experiences of abuse of the two groups.
Implications for practice
Identifying the similarities and differences in the two groups highlighted a
number of ways in which social workers can work with abused women in
18 S. BHANDARI
India as well as in United States. In the United States, there is a need for
mainstream organizations to use culturally competent interventions when
working with ethnically diverse groups like South Asians. Rorie, Paine, and
Barger (1996) has proposed a model that conceptualizes cultural compe-
tence as ‘acceptance of, and respect for cultural norms, patterns, beliefs,
and differences …(with) self-assessment …and interplay between policy
and practice’(Rorie et al., 1996, pp. 95). It is important to understand that
cultural competence is a life-long process that agencies need to continu-
ously strive to achieve to cater to the needs of the individual and commu-
nity (Lum, 2010). SAWOs are doing excellent work with South Asian
survivors but depend on limited funding and volunteer staff. Lack of know-
ledge about the existence of SAWOs is another hurdle that women encoun-
ter. South Asian women in the US need to be equipped with resources like
SAWOs in various cities, be educated about their basic rights and get con-
nected with free legal help. Internet is an important resource and tool that
can be optimized to inform the women about these resources.
Abandonment of women in both groups domestically as well as trans-
nationally has become a huge problem (Anitha et al., 2018). In most cases
women whether in a foreign country or in India do not get the financial
share like stridhan (gifts, cash, jewelry given voluntarily to the bride by her
parents and relatives recognized in law as a married woman’s personal
property over which she has indisputable rights), back when abandoned
and are further stigmatized for breaking the marriage. Men on the other
hand, are let scot free due to jurisdictional issues or the insensitive, corrupt
and lackadaisical attitude of the legal system especially in India. It is high
time that transnational policies are put in place where women get their fair
financial share and men who abandon their wives are brought to justice. It
has been almost 13 years since the passage of the comprehensive Protection
of Women from Domestic Violence Act (PWDVA) in India which entails
state recognition of domestic violence. Women through PWDVA can
access criminal or civil redress to abuse in the domestic space (Anitha
et al., 2018). However, none of the women in the current study talked
about utilizing PWDA in their lives. Social workers can spread awareness
about PWDVA and advocate for women-friendly policies put in place espe-
cially when domestic abandonment is the case.
Stigmatization of abuse and reliance on informal methods was common
in both groups. It is very important to pay attention and focus on interven-
tions that are a culmination of informal and formal systems. First of all,
women need to be feel safe and secure to disclose abuse, and then rely on
both informal and formal systems where they can get recourse. A multi-
pronged approach with public awareness of abuse needs to be spread in the
community, screening for abuse needs to occur routinely in healthcare
HEALTH CARE FOR WOMEN INTERNATIONAL 19
settings, and both formal and informal sources of support need to offer
help in a non-stigmatized way (Decker et al., 2013).
Limitations
Several limitations should be noted. First, the interviews in India were con-
ducted in two regional languages (Hindi and Marathi) and later transcribed
and translated into English. This may have left some room for phrases and
meanings of words lost in translation. Second, both studies utilized non-
probability purposive sampling limiting the generalization and transferabil-
ity of results without similar context (South Asian immigrant women in
the United States and low-income, urban women in India). Third, the two
groups in comparison were very different with regard to their income lev-
els. The South Asian women were from middle to high income group and
the women from India were all low-income.
Conclusion
With the difference in income levels, there was a high possibility that the
two groups would be more different than similar. But the findings showed
more similarities between the experiences of two groups of abused women.
The common culture was the theme that tied the two groups together and
women relied on their natal family and then community organizations to
seek help in their abusive situations. A combination of informal and formal
help seems like an adept form of intervention to help South Asian and
Indian women in abusive situations.
Funding
This Research is supported and funded through Leader (Launching Equity
in the Academy across Dayton Entrepreneurial Region) Consortium
-National Science Foundation Advance Program and College of Liberal
Arts Faculty Research Activity Grant (Wright State University).
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