The Wounded Healer or Under the Spell of a Covert Narcissist A Case Study

Abstract

I N T R O D U C T I O N
The following case study describes interaction
between a pathological narcissist (Z) and
his target (K) in the context of a romantic relationship
as well as K’s recovery process following
narcissistic abuse. It is based on real-life
events; however, confidentiality and privacy of
all involved are protected for legal reasons. The
case study is presented in a form of a dialogue
between K and the author (MK). K has agreed
to be interviewed by MK on a pro-bono basis in
recognition of the Narcissism Abuse phenomena.
The theoretical context around these issues
is described in detail in January 2020 issue of
The Science of Psychotherapy (Kostyanaya, 2020).
The case was chosen by the author due to
the following main reasons:
• Based on most recent research investigating
impacts of pathological narcissism
on others (Day, Bourke, Townsend,
& Grenyer, 2019), the highest level of
distress was identified being in the context
of romantic relationships;
• People involved in the case study hold
professional occupations in behaviour
sciences which importantly did not
prevent them from being vulnerable to
narcissistic psychopathology (both as a
holder and target);
• The pathological narcissist in this case
exhibits predominantly vulnerable traits
which means he would not necessarily
qualify the diagnostic criteria for
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD)
of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manu-
…I could not understand what was happening and
whether I wanted to cry or laugh…
The Wounded Healer
or
Under the Spell of a Covert Narcissist
A Case Study
by Maria Kostyanaya
-012
February 2020
al of Mental Disorders (5th ed.; DSM–5;
American Psychiatric Association, 2013)
Hence, this is the case of pathological
narcissism which is highly likely to have
fallen between the cracks in terms of a
timely diagnosis and treatment;
• The relationship did not involve any
physical abuse and was predominantly
based on emotional abuse which is typically
very hard to prove/detect and reprimand
due to its covert nature (until it
becomes unbearable). It should also be
noted that the relationship ended soon
after first signs of physical abuse started
emerging.
Disclaimer: This case does not represent the scope
of physical and emotional abuse as well as complexity
of decision making narcissism survivors frequently
face, particularly if leaving the relationship
is not straight forward (due to financial dealings,
having mutual children, being in one professional
circle, etc.). It is also extremely important to note a
high number of cases in which people engage in selfharm
or suicidal behaviour particularly when appropriate
supports are not available or non-existent.

Spelling errors:

Page 8

"In terms of even more subtle ways of self-esteem corrosion, he would continue reading and discussing Hitler’s Mein Kampf with his friends in my presence, under the pretext of being interested in his psychopathology."

Page 8

"I mean, his reasoning was very convoluted and of course based on shifting the blame onto me and then acting out self-victimisation."

Page 10

"After a bizarre evening, when he introduced me to his brother and their friends, but behaved as if I was not invited, he then decided to part with me, by leaving me alone at night in the middle of the street."

Page 11

"Then I started having massive allergic reactions, to the point when my face got fully covered
with eczema. I have never had it to that degree in my entire life and all the tests showed that I had a severe immune response to something that
my doctor was not able to identify."

Page 11

"Yes, sure. During very early stages following the break-up, I shared what was happening with one of my best friends. She very quickly convinced me that I was not at fault."

Page 13

"Of course, we need much more research in this area, particularly on treatment strategies."