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What are the Marital Problems of Happy Couples?
A Multimethod, Two-Sample Investigation
AMY RAUER*
ALLEN K. SABEY
†
CHRISTINE M. PROULX
‡
BRENDA L. VOLLING
§
How couples handle marital conflict may depend on what issues they are facing, as some
issues may be more difficult to resolve than others. What is unclear, however, is what issues
happy couples face and how these issues may be different for couples depending on their
developmental stage. To explore this possibility, the current study used both self-reports and
observations drawn from two separate samples of happily married couples—one early in
middle adulthood (N=57 couples; average marital duration =9 years) and one in older
adulthood (N=64 couples; average marital duration =42 years). Results indicated that all
issues were relatively minor, but early middle-aged couples reported more significant prob-
lems than did older couples. As to determining the most salient topic for happy couples, it
depended on the spouses’ gender, developmental stage, and how salience was assessed (i.e.,
highest rated issue vs. most discussed issue). Only moderate links were found between what
happy couples said was their most serious concern and what they actually tried to resolve
during observations of marital problem-solving, but there were differences in how spouses
behaved based on the proportion of their time discussing certain topics. Findings suggest
that more attention should be devoted to understanding what marital issues happy couples
discuss and why, as doing so may reveal how couples maintain their marital happiness.
Keywords: Conflict Topics; Marriage; Happy Couples; Middle Adulthood; Older
Adulthood; Observations
Fam Proc 59:1275–1292, 2020
When problems arise in a marriage, the long-term success of that relationship
depends, in part, on how spouses handle the issue (Fincham & Beach, 1999; Mark-
man, Rhoades, Stanley, Ragan, & Whitton, 2010). Recent work, however, suggests that
what couples discuss may play a large role in how they discuss it, as some issues may be
more difficult to resolve than others (e.g., conflicts about money, sex, personality; Papp,
Cummings, & Goeke-Morey, 2009; Rehman, Rellini, & Fallis, 2011; Williamson, Hanna,
*Department of Child and Family Studies, University of Tennessee, Knoxville, TN.
†
The Family Institute, Northwestern University, Evanston, IL.
‡
Department of Human Development and Family Science, University of Missouri, Columbia, MO.
§
Department of Psychology, University of Michigan, Ann Arbor, MI.
Correspondence concerning this article should be addressed to Amy Rauer, Department of Child and
Family Studies, University of Tennessee, 1215 West Cumberland Avenue, Knoxville, TN, 37996 E-mail:
arauer@utk.edu.
The research reported was funded by grants from the John E. Fetzer Institute and the Alabama Agricul-
tural Experiment Station. We are grateful to the families of the Marriage and Child Development Study
and the Marriage and Retirement Study for their participation.
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Family Process, Vol. 59, No. 3, 2020 ©2019 Family Process Institute
doi: 10.1111/famp.12483