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Forgive and Forget?: Examining the Influence of Blame and Intentionality on Forgiveness Following Hypothetical Same-Sex Infidelity in the Context of Heterosexual Romantic Relationships
The Journal of Sex Research
Abstract
The present study investigated responses to imagined same-sex infidelity committed by a partner in a heterosexual relationship. The motivational theory of infidelity and research on communicative infidelity were used as guiding frameworks for exploring differences in perceptions of blame and intentionality as a result of varying motivations for engaging in same-sex infidelity (i.e., cheating due to attraction, experimentation, sexual preoccupation, sexual depression, sociosexuality, jealousy, vengefulness, or not viewing the infidelity as cheating). It was predicted that greater perceptions of blame and intent would be associated with more negative transgression-related interpersonal motivations (i.e., more revenge and avoidance; less benevolence) and an increased expectation of terminating the relationship due to the partner’s same-sex infidelity. Whether these relationships would replicate or differ according to the partner’s motive for committing the hypothetical same-sex infidelity was also tested. Results revealed that, in general and across motives, attributions of blame were positively associated with revenge, avoidance, and relationship termination; perceived intentionality was positively associated with avoidance; and blame was negatively associated with benevolence. Furthermore, across most motives, blame was indirectly associated with relationship termination through avoidance and benevolence, and these associations were not moderated by biological sex. These findings and their implications for research on infidelity specifically, and relational functioning more broadly, are discussed.
... Based on the statistics, the rates of adultery in heterosexual and same-sex couples and families were similar. In other words, there is no obvious evidence to show that same-sex couples are more likely to cheat (Denes et al., 2020). More importantly, the biases and discriminations toward against the same-sex couples have covered some of the professional practices and behaviors of a small group of participants. ...
Same-sex marriage and family counselors usually do not have enough experience and training background to help same-sex couples with marriage and family issues. Some counselors may have a personal bias toward same-sex couples due to the absence of same-sex couples and families’ background. Marriage and family counselors provide counseling services to their clients with marriage and family problems and conflicts, resulting in a positive recovery negotiation. The purpose of this study was to understand and investigate the attitudes of marriage and family counselors regarding same-sex couples and families, an area ignored in mainstream marriage and family counseling. Based on 300 surveys and 38 interviews from marriage and family counselors in the United States, the researcher categorized that more than half of the participants expressed negative attitudes against same-sex couples and families, due to cheating, unsafe sexual activities, and domestic violence. Some counselors refused to provide counseling services to same-sex couples and families due to misunderstanding and prejudice. The results suggested that additional in-service professional developments and curriculum reforms are essential to promoting multicultural family structure. Received: 13 September 2021 / Accepted: 25 November 2021 / Published: 3 January 2022
This study explores the role of mindfulness in marriage as a potential mediator in the relationship between infidelity tendencies and divorce anxiety among married individuals. Employing a sample of 415 married individuals, the research utilized a correlational model to examine the predictive capacity of marital mindfulness. The assessment involved the Mindfulness in Marriage Scale, Infidelity Tendency Scale, and Divorce Anxiety Scale, supplemented by a demographic information form. We analyzed the data using SPSS, incorporating techniques such as Pearson correlation and mediation analysis for parametric distributions. The analysis identified a statistically significant, low, negative correlation between infidelity tendency and divorce anxiety. Additionally, there was a significant, low-positive correlation between infidelity tendency and marital mindfulness. The relationship between divorce anxiety and marital mindfulness also displayed a significant, low negative correlation. Furthermore, the study determined that marital mindfulness plays a significant role as a partial mediator in the relationship between infidelity tendency and divorce anxiety. The findings emphasize the importance of incorporating mindfulness practices in marital counseling and interventions aimed at reducing divorce anxiety and managing infidelity tendencies. We discuss the limitations and implications for future studies to improve our understanding and application of mindfulness in marital contexts.
Infidelity is a common experience within romantic relationships and is closely linked with relationship dissolution and well-being. Using an intersectionality theoretical framework, we undertook a systematic review of the infidelity literature in flagship journals associated with the disciplines of the International Association for Relationship Research. Our review includes findings from 162 published empirical articles. We identified several themes within the infidelity literature, including: individual, interpersonal, and contextual predictors; outcomes and reactions; beliefs and attitudes; prevalence; and conceptualization. We also found that the infidelity literature primarily utilizes participants who are White, heterosexual, cisgender individuals who reside in the United States or Canada. Moreover, researchers were limited in information they provided about participants’ identities so in most articles it was difficult to assess many dimensions of identity. Ultimately, these findings limit our ability to apply an intersectional framework. We argue that researchers should extend the research they cite, collect richer demographic data, expand their samples (especially beyond White heterosexual cisgender American college students), and consider the sociohistorical context of their participants (e.g., the particular social circumstances and historical forces which shape individuals’ lived experiences). For example, scholars using an intersectional framework would explain their participants’ relationship experiences through a lens which includes systems of sexism, racism, heterosexism, cissexism, classism, etc., in conjunction with individual and interpersonal factors.
Structural equation modeling with latent variables was used to test whether negative affectivity, or the cross-situational tendency to experience and express negative thoughts and feelings, correlates with spouses' attributions for relationship events and accounts for the association between attributions and satisfaction. Eighty married couples completed measures of marital satisfaction, attributions, and negative affectivity. Spouses high in negative affectivity tended to make maladaptive attributions, but spouses' attributions were unrelated to the level of negative affectivity reported by the partner. Attributions and marital satisfaction remained associated among husbands and wives after controlling for negative affectivity. These findings clarify the link between attributions and marital satisfaction and raise the possibility that negative affectivity contributes to the attributions that spouses make for negative events in marriage.
A considerable proportion of the population experiences varying degrees of same-sex attraction. It has been proposed that men exhibit high tolerance to their partner's same-sex infidelity, which allows such predispositions to exist in a relative high frequency in the population. On this basis, the hypothesis was tested that heterosexual men and women would differ in their tolerance level, with men exhibiting higher tolerance to same-sex infidelity than women. Evidence from an online sample of 590 heterosexual Greek-speaking participants provided strong support for this hypothesis. In particular, the vast majority of women exhibited low tolerance, while about one in two men exhibited high tolerance to same-sex infidelity. Furthermore, men and women exhibited higher tolerance to the same-sex infidelity of their long-term than of their short-term partners, with men exhibiting higher tolerance in the latter case. In addition, women exhibited low tolerance to opposite-sex and same-sex infidelity, but men exhibited low tolerance to opposite-sex infidelity, but much higher tolerance to same-sex infidelity. A considerable proportion of the population, currently estimated to be around 20% in women and 10% in men, experiences varying degrees of attraction toward same-sex individuals (LeVay, 2010). As same-sex attraction diverts mating effort toward relationships that cannot lead to procreation , the evolutionary origins of such attraction appear obscure. It has been recently proposed that the relatively high prevalence of this trait in women constitutes the outcome of weak negative selection on same-sex attraction in ancestral human societies (Apostolou, 2016b). The current paper attempts to contribute to this theoretical framework by demonstrating that men exhibit high tolerance to their partners' same-sex infidelity, which weakens the negative selection pressures exercised on same-sex attraction in women.
For individuals in exclusive romantic relationships, the dynamics of sexual experimentation are nuanced. Extradyadic behavior outside of a relationship may be perceived as cheating or infidelity, with much of those perceptions driven by the biological sex of the perceiver. This study significantly reframes seminal research on perceptions of cheating with third-party friends by Kruger et al. (2013), in order to further nuance an evolutionary threat-based model. In doing so, this furthers our understanding of the associated perceptions of individuals in heterosexual relationships when confronted by partners’ cheating with their same-sex cross-orientation friends. Results indicate that perceptions of same-sex infidelity vary widely depending on the nature of the behaviors, with decreasing attribution given to sexual and erotic behaviors, close relational behaviors, and casual social interaction behaviors, respectively. Implications are discussed for a variety of sexual communities, as well as the impact of gender and relational status on perceptions of infidelity.
The purpose of this study is to explore the effects of emotional support discrepancy (ESD), or the degree to which people feel their standards for emotional support are met, immediately after a supportive interaction and in the days following the interaction. One hundred thirteen dating couples discussed in the laboratory a topic that was stressful for one of the partners and then completed daily diary logs for seven days. Immediately following the laboratory interaction, a smaller ESD was indirectly associated with more positive affect, less negative affect, and greater relationship satisfaction through cognitive reappraisal. In the days following the laboratory interaction, ESD was not associated with future conversations about either the laboratory stressor or stressors that emerged during the week, but was marginally and positively associated with brooding rumination about the laboratory stressor and positively associated with brooding rumination about the partner's support in general. In addition, both types of rumination were associated with less positive affect, more negative affect, and less relationship satisfaction over the course of the week.
This study explores conceptualisations of same- versus different-sex infidelity in the context of a heterosexual marriage using story completion. A convenience sample of 57 female and male participants completed one of four versions of a story stem featuring a husband who is either emotionally or sexually unfaithful with a woman or a man. A social constructionist thematic analysis found that same-sex infidelity was conceptualised as the ‘worst case scenario’ and was underpinned by a heteronormative framing of repressed homosexuality. By contrast, heterosexual infidelity was understood in terms of relational deficits and the wife assuming responsibility for these. Overall, the analysis shows that in making sense of same-sex and heterosexual infidelity, the participants drew on familiar discourses of sexuality and gender, suggesting that despite social psychological theorising related to sexual fluidity, essentialist ideas remain firmly in place. Methodologically, the study demonstrates the usefulness of a rarely used tool—the story completion task—for accessing socio-cultural discourses and dominant meanings surrounding a particular topic. Copyright © 2014 John Wiley & Sons, Ltd.
The present study examines experiences of same-sex performativity among heterosexual women and men in relation to attitudes toward women, LGBQ individuals, and same-sex marriage. Participants were 219 women and men who completed an online survey consisting of open-ended questions about their experiences with same-sex performativity and a series of attitude scales. Results indicated that women and men differ in how they engage in, and interpret their experiences with, same-sex performativity. Women were significantly more likely than men to report having been asked to participate in same-sex sexual behavior. Men were more likely than women to report having asked or encouraged others to participate. In addition, men who requested same-sex behavior reported more sexist and homonegative attitudes than men who did not request this behavior from others. Women who complied with men's requests reported significantly more positive attitudes toward lesbian women, bisexual women, and same-sex marriage than women who did not.
Why is it that some hurtful messages have a greater impact on relationships than others? Theorists suggest that the way people interpret another individual's negative behavior can influence how close or distant they feel from that person, as well as the emotions they experience. The first study reported in this article was conducted to examine how judgments of intent affect individuals' tendency to distance themselves from someone who hurt them and how such judgments impact people's experience of hurt. Results indicated that people who judged something an individual said to them as intentionally hurtful felt the comment had more of a distancing effect on their relationship with the individual than did those who perceived the message as unintentionally hurtful. Furthermore, those who viewed the comment as intentionally hurtful tended to be less satisfied with the relationship they had with the person who hurt them and felt less close to the person than did those who saw it as unintentional. The findings also revealed that people's perceptions of messages they saw as unintentionally hurtful varied in theoretically important ways. To follow-up on the notion that there are qualities of messages viewed as unintentionally hurtful that contribute to relational distancing and hurt feelings, a second study was conducted. Findings indicated that the perception of messages as part of an ongoing pattern of hurtful communication - as relatively frequent and as part of a general tendency to hurt others was associated with relational distancing. Also, people's tendency to feel disregarded by the individual who hurt them was linked with relational distancing and hurt feelings.
A motivational/individual differences model of infidelity is proposed in the course of empirically evaluating the traditional dichotomy between emotional and sexual motives. A scale assessing motivations for infidelity was developed and administered to 432 college students, 120 of whom reported past dating infidelity. Four motivations were identified and were associated as predicted with Big Five and other trait constructs; Sex was predicted by male gender, lower age, and unrestricted sociosexual orientation (SO); Dissatisfaction was predicted by female gender and Extraversion; Neglect was predicted by Neuroticism; and Anger by Neuroticism and low Agreeableness. As predicted, a two-factor model provides a poorer fit with the data than a multi-factor model. Unrestricted SO partially mediates the gender difference in endorsement of a sex motive for infidelity.
Emerging adulthood is proposed as a new conception of development for the period from the late teens through the twenties, with a focus on ages 18–25. A theoretical background is presented. Then evidence is provided to support the idea that emerging adulthood is a distinct period demographically, subjectively, and in terms of identity explorations. How emerging adulthood differs from adolescence and young adulthood is explained. Finally, a cultural context for the idea of emerging adulthood is outlined, and it is specified that emerging adulthood exists only in cultures that allow young people a prolonged period of independent role exploration during the late teens and twenties.
The visibility of female –female kissing in the media and on college campuses has increased. Yet how female –female kissing influences perceptions of the women engaging in it has not been examined. College students’ (N = 164) understanding of female –female kissing and female –male kissing in an otherwise heterosexual context was examined. Men perceived female –female kissing as more atypical than did women. A woman who kissed a woman was viewed as more promiscuous than a woman who kissed a man. Yet a woman who kissed a woman was perceived as more likely heterosexual than bisexual or lesbian. Implications of these findings are discussed.
Past demonstrations of sex differences in jealousy have generally employed Buss et al.'s [Psychol. Sci. 3 (1992) 251] forced-choice methodology, a limitation criticized by DeSteno and Salovey [Psychol. Sci. 7 (1996) 367]. The present studies address this criticism by demonstrating the sex difference using both forced-choice and continuous measures of jealousy. In addition, the results distinguish two important moderators of the sex difference: infidelity experience, in which male victims and female perpetrators of infidelity reported greater distress in response to a sexual infidelity, and sexual orientation of the infidelity, in which the sex difference disappears completely when an infidelity carries no risk of conception because an opposite-sex partner has become involved with a same-sex lover.
The phenomenon of presumably straight girls kissing and making out with other girls at college parties and at bars is everywhere in contemporary popular culture, from Katy Perry's hit song, “I Kissed a Girl,” to a Tyra Banks online poll on attitudes toward girls who kiss girls in bars, to AskMen.com's “Top 10: Chick Kissing Scenes.” Why do girls who aren't lesbians kiss girls?
College student men (n = 299) and women (n = 392) reported their experiences with extradyadic (ED) dating and sexual activity. We also investigated the relationships between ED activity and religiosity, sex–love–marriage association beliefs, narcissism, sexual sensation seeking, a ‘ludic’ or game-playing orientation to romantic relationships, and self-perceived ability to deceive one’s dating partner. Despite normative disapproval for ED activity, a majority of respondents reported having had ED involvement while dating. There was no sex difference in the incidence of ED dating or ED kissing; however, men were more likely than women to experience ED fondling, oral sex, or vaginal intercourse. In general, ED dating and ED sexual activity were related to less adherence to sex–love–marriage association beliefs, increased sexual sensation seeking, a ‘ludic’ love style, and a self-perceived ability to deceive one’s dating partner. Findings are discussed with regard to possible implications and directions for future research.
Gender differences in sexual jealousy have been the focus of earlier research; however, potential effects due to gender of the interloper have not been examined. In Study 1, college men and women rated their upset in response to same‐gender versus other‐gender sexual infidelity by a dating partner. Men found male‐female sexual infidelity most upsetting whereas women found male‐male sexual infidelity most upsetting. This gender difference was replicated in Study 2 using a different hypothetical scenario with students from a different university. These men and women also completed measures of religiosity, sex‐love‐marriage association beliefs, erotophobia/erotophilia, eroticization of same‐gender sexual contact, and expressed their degree of agreement with three different attributions regarding the larger meaning of one's dating partner having same‐gender sexual contact. The gender difference in response to the jealousy‐evoking scenario persisted after controlling for these variables. In Study 3, men and women were randomly assigned to one of four experimental vignettes in which gender of the interloper and gender of the person committing sexual infidelity were manipulated. Participants also completed measures of homophobia and gender‐role attitudes. The scenario depicting female‐female sexual infidelity was rated the least likely to arouse jealousy, and this finding was not mediated by respondent gender, homophobia, or gender‐role attitudes. Findings are discussed with regard to possible explanations and directions for future research.
In the current study, data from a nationally representative sample of 884 men and 1,288 women (1994 General Social Survey, Davis & Smith, 1994) who have ever been married were analyzed with regard to incidence, prevalence, and correlates of extramarital sex (EMS). Men were more likely than women to report ever engaging in EMS (22.7% vs. 11.6%, p < .00001), yet, after correcting the probability value for multiple tests, the apparent gender difference regarding the proportion of respondents who had EMS during the past year was not statistically significant (4.1% vs. 1.7%, p < .008). Interestingly, there was no gender difference in lifetime incidence among respondents younger than 40 years of age. Except for the oldest cohort, lifetime incidence of EMS increased with age for men, whereas for women there was an apparently curvilinear relationship such that lifetime incidence of EMS was greatest among those 30–50 years of age. Those who have ever been divorced, and those with greater attitudinal acceptance of EMS, had higher incidence of EMS compared to those who have not been divorced and those reporting greater disapproval of EMS. With regard to possible gender differences, men and women who denied ever engaging in EMS did not differ in their attitudes about EMS, just as men and women who reported having experienced EMS did not differ in their attitudes. The results are discussed in relation to previous research and unanswered questions left for further investigation.
Infidelities--sexual, emotional, or both--afflict many long-term romantic relationships. When a person discovers a partner's betrayal, a major decision faced is to forgive the partner and remain together or to terminate the relationship. Because men and women have confronted different adaptive problems over evolutionary history associated with different forms of infidelity, we hypothesised the existence of sex differences in which aspects of infidelity would affect the likelihood of forgiveness or breakup. We tested this hypothesis using forced-choice dilemmas in which participants (N = 256) indicated how difficult it would be to forgive the partner and how likely they would be to break up with the partner, depending on the nature of the infidelity. Results support the hypothesis that men, relative to women: (a) find it more difficult to forgive a sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity; and (b) are more likely to terminate a current relationship following a partner's sexual infidelity than an emotional infidelity. The Discussion provides directions for future work on the determinants of breakup and the psychology of forgiveness.
In this paper we argue that an individual's activities, prior to and during an interpersonal influence attempt, may be explained by his or her goals. Two classes of goals are posited: (1) primary or influence goals which instigate the influence process, and (2) secondary goals which shape it. Three studies are reported whose purpose was to illuminate the substance of each of these goals, to examine their relationships to one another, and finally, to show how the goals shape the interpersonal influence process (for the source) in terms of planning, effort, directness, positivity, and logic. The results suggest the existence of five secondary goals: identity goals, interaction goals, personal resource goals, relational resource goals, and arousal management goals. With the exception of personal goals, each of the goals makes a unique contribution to shaping the source's actions.
Because forgiveness theory has tended to neglect the role of dispositional factors, the authors present novel theorizing about the nature of vengefulness (the disposition to seek revenge following interpersonal offenses) and its relationship to forgiveness and other variables. In Study 1, vengefulness was correlated cross-sectionally with (a) less forgiving, (b) greater rumination about the offense, (c) higher negative affectivity, and (d) lower life satisfaction. Vengefulness at baseline was negatively related to change in forgiving throughout an 8-week follow-up. In Study 2, vengefulness was negatively associated with Agreeableness and positively associated with Neuroticism. Measures of the Big Five personality factors explained 30% of the variance in vengefulness.
We investigated sex differences in post-copulatory mate guarding behaviors, jealous reactions to opposite- versus same-sex infidelity, and preferences for multiple concurrent sex partners. Results of a questionnaire administered to 448 college students showed that: (1) females were more likely to initiate the practice of sleeping with their partner after sexual intercourse; (2) males were more distressed by opposite-sex infidelity, whereas females were equally distressed by both opposite- and same-sex infidelity; and (3) males were more willing than females to engage in sex with multiple concurrent partners. Under hypothetical conditions, males preferred having concurrent sex with two female partners, while females showed a more varied preference for the sexes of the other participants. These findings are consistent with predictions derived from evolutionary theory based upon sex differences in genetic assurance, parental investment and reproductive potential.
This study experimentally investigated accounts and attributions following sexual infidelity. Hypotheses predicted that differences in the infidelity (i.e., intent and revenge) would influence attributions about, and accounts generated to explain, the infidelity. Specific predictions also linked account production to attribution patterns. Students read a scenario that described a sexual infidelity performed by either a male or female, either intentionally or unintentionally, and being either revenge‐driven or not driven by revenge. Results indicate that revenge had a strong impact on attributions and accounts, whereas intent only inversely influenced the production of guilt. Relationships between accounts and attributions were consistent with predictions; however, the account category of silence reflected strong levels of responsibility, blame, and guilt yet was interpreted as quite aggravating. Consistent with traditional and modern sexual double standards, findings indicated sex differences in both accounts and attributions.
This experimental investigation focused on attributions and verbal responses (either description of events or an account) presented to one's partner after a sexual infidelity. Motivation to maintain the relationship and the reproacher's knowledge of the transgression, were varied to investigate their impact on the type, honesty of, and attributional information in verbal responses. Ss included 133 undergraduates. Results indicated that accounts were much more prevalent, and much more, honest, as the partner's knowledge of the transgression increased. The moderate knowledge condition was consistently troubling for participants who wanted to be apologetic in case their partner knew of the transgression yet not to give away too much information in case they did not. Motivation to maintain the relationship influenced both accounts and attributions as participants interested in maintaining the relationship felt more guilty and more blameworthy for their actions and presented kinder verbal responses. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
Although heterosexual women and men consistently demonstrate sex differences in jealousy, these differences disappear among lesbians and gay men as well as among heterosexual women and men contemplating same-sex infidelities (infidelities in which the partner and rival are the same sex). Synthesizing these past findings, the present paper offers a reproductive threat-based model of evolved sex differences in jealousy that predicts that the sexes will differ only when the jealous perceivers' reproductive outcomes are differentially at risk. This model is supported by data from a web-based study in which lesbians, gay men, bisexual women and men, and heterosexual women and men responded to a hypothetical infidelity scenario with the sex of the rival randomly determined. After reading the scenario, participants indicated which type of infidelity (sexual versus emotional) would cause greater distress. Consistent with predictions, heterosexual women and men showed a sex difference when contemplating opposite-sex infidelities but not when contemplating same-sex infidelities, whereas lesbians and gay men showed no sex difference regardless of whether the infidelity was opposite-sex or same-sex.
While it is true that betrayal leads to the loss of reliance on an individual, this chapter asserts that distress from the breach of trust comes from a sense of being neither regarded nor accepted. The author utilizes the interpersonal script method in understanding the latest researches in the field. Psychologically speaking, betrayal seems to be a complex form of interpersonal relationship conflict. Various sorts of emotions can be felt upon experiencing this circumstance, including anger, fear, doubt, and repulsion. Mechanisms to counteract these potentially destructive feelings involve taking revenge or letting go of the mistakes. Although reconciliation is suggested, it depends on the hurt party to forgive and accept or to repress and retaliate. Likewise, the offender has the choice to apologize and maintain the bond, to create alibis and enjoy the relief from the guilt, or even to leave with no confrontation and destroy the ties with silence.
G*Power is a free power analysis program for a variety of statistical tests. We present extensions and improvements of the version introduced by Faul, Erdfelder, Lang, and Buchner (2007) in the domain of correlation and regression analyses. In the new version, we have added procedures to analyze the power of tests based on (1) single-sample tetrachoric correlations, (2) comparisons of dependent correlations, (3) bivariate linear regression, (4) multiple linear regression based on the random predictor model, (5) logistic regression, and (6) Poisson regression. We describe these new features and provide a brief introduction to their scope and handling.
Forgiving is a motivational transformation that inclines people to inhibit relationship-destructive responses and to behave constructively toward someone who has behaved destructively toward them. The authors describe a model of forgiveness based on the hypothesis that people forgive others to the extent that they experience empathy for them. Two studies investigated the empathy model of forgiveness. In Study 1, the authors developed measures of empathy and forgiveness. The authors found evidence consistent with the hypotheses that (a) the relationship between receiving an apology from and forgiving one's offender is a function of increased empathy for the offender and (b) that forgiving is uniquely related to conciliatory behavior and avoidance behavior toward the offending partner. In Study 2, the authors conducted an intervention in which empathy was manipulated to examine the empathy-forgiving relationship more closely. Results generally supported the conceptualization of forgiving as a motivational phenomenon and the empathy-forgiving link.
Interpersonal forgiving was conceptualized in the context of a 2-factor motivational system that governs people's responses to interpersonal offenses. Four studies were conducted to examine the extent to which forgiving could be predicted with relationship-level variables such as satisfaction, commitment, and closeness; offense-level variables such as apology and impact of the offense; and social-cognitive variables such as offender-focused empathy and rumination about the offense. Also described is the development of the transgression-related interpersonal motivations inventory--a self-report measure designed to assess the 2-component motivational system (Avoidance and Revenge) posited to underlie forgiving. The measure demonstrated a variety of desirable psychometric properties, commending its use for future research. As predicted, empathy, apology, rumination, and several indexes of relationship closeness were associated with self-reported forgiving.
The authors used a representative national sample (N = 777) to test the evolutionary hypothesis that men would be more bothered by sexual infidelity and women by emotional infidelity, the Jealousy as a Specific Innate Module (JSIM) effect. Our alternative conceptualization of jealousy suggests that there are distinct emotional components of jealousy that did not evolve differently by gender. The authors looked for effects of age, socioeconomic status (SES), and type of measure (continuous or dichotomous) on jealousy. The authors did not find age or SES effects. Forced-choice items provided support for our alternative view; both genders showed more anger and blame over sexual infidelity but more hurt feelings over emotional infidelity. Continuous measures indicated more emotional response to sexual than emotional infidelity among both genders.
The authors examined the effects of writing about the benefits of an interpersonal transgression on forgiveness. Participants (N = 304) were randomly assigned to one of three 20-min writing tasks in which they wrote about either (a) traumatic features of the most recent interpersonal transgression they had suffered, (b) personal benefits resulting from the transgression, or (c) a control topic that was unrelated to the transgression. Participants in the benefit-finding condition became more forgiving toward their transgressors than did those in the other 2 conditions, who did not differ from each other. In part, the benefit-finding condition appeared to facilitate forgiveness by encouraging participants to engage in cognitive processing as they wrote their essays. Results suggest that benefit finding may be a unique and useful addition to efforts to help people forgive interpersonal transgressions through structured interventions. The Transgression-Related Interpersonal Motivations Inventory--18-Item Version (TRIM-18) is appended.
Previous research demonstrates the health benefits of both intrapersonal and interpersonal forgiveness as indicated by various markers of physiological activity. Specifically, evidence suggests that forgiveness can help regulate the body’s stress response and increase an individual’s ability to relax after exposure to an acute stressor. This review identifies specific outcomes associated with the health benefits of forgiveness and its effects on cardiovascular functioning, as well as hyperarousal in the hypothalamic-pituitary-adrenal axis and sympathetic nervous systems. In addition to its health benefits, the findings suggest that activity in the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis may influence the types of forgiveness that individuals communicate.
About one in five women are not attracted exclusively to members of the opposite sex. This high prevalence of same-sex attractions constitutes an evolutionary puzzle as they appear to impair reproductive success. It has recently been proposed that, one reason behind such high prevalence is a male preference for same-sex attraction in women. The male choice hypothesis predicts that heterosexual women who experience same-sex attractions would be more willing than heterosexual women who do not experience such attractions to have sex with other women. It predicts further that heterosexual women who experience same-sex attractions would be more willing than heterosexual women to engaging in extra-pair copulations with a woman than with a man. Evidence from an online sample of 707 heterosexual women found strong support for both predictions. It was also found that about one in four heterosexual women would consider having sex with another woman in order to satisfy their long-term partner, and about one in two heterosexual women would react negatively to such a suggestion by their partner.
This study proposes and tests a model that applies the concept of restorative justice to the enactment of revenge and forgiveness in organizations. The model draws from theories of cognitive attribution and consistency, as well as more recent theories of revenge in organizations, to describe the process by which a personal offense triggers revenge and forgiveness cognitions and behavior. Attributions of blame were predicted to directly influence the contemplation of revenge and forgiveness strategies. In turn, these cognitions were hypothesized to be the immediate precursors of behavior. It was also predicted that the likableness of the offender would be positively associated with both revenge and forgiveness cognitions. Finally, blame attribution was expected to be influenced by offense severity. To test these predictions, a survey was administered to one hundred and eighty employees of a government agency. Structural equation modeling was used to assess the significance of the pathways in the model and compare its fit to theoretically plausible rivals. Although the theoretical model fit the data well, a less constrained alternative showed a superior fit. In both the theoretical model and less constrained alternative, all but two of the predicted pathways in the model were upheld. The implications of the findings for organizations are discussed and future research directions are offered.
The present study uses expectancy violations theory to investigate hurtful events, relational quality, and communication in dating relationships. Participants (N = 263) described a hurtful behavior performed by their dating partner and recalled their reaction to that behavior. When respondents evaluated the hurtful event as a highly negative expectancy violation and judged their partner as unrewarding, they were more likely to report breaking up, being less satisfied and committed, and using destructive rather than constructive communication. Individuals who were deeply hurt reported being slightly less likely to break up, more likely to be satisfied and committed, and more likely to use both constructive and destructive communication. Finally, victims who perceived their partners’ actions as intentional were more likely to report using destructive communicative responses.
Rules theory is the framework for this study's analysis of ordinary language contained in break-up accounts. It attempts to understand the relationship expectations which parties have for their opposite-sex romantic relationships. Break-up accounts from 157 respondents produced eight primary reasons/rules relevant to this relationship type: the obligation to grant autonomy beyond the relationship; the expectation of similarity; the obligations to be supportive, loyal and open; the expectation of shared time between relationship parties; the expectation of equity; and the expectation that a romantic relationship will be characterized by an inexplicable `magic' quality. Females were significantly more likely to mention autonomy, openness, and equity reasons in their break-up accounts than males were; males, in turn, more frequently mentioned the lack of the magical quality as a reason for break-up. Overall, females mentioned significantly more reasons/rules for break-up than did the male respondents in the sample.
Verbal accounts are the principal means by which individuals personally cope with spoiled relationships and socially manage relationship dissolution. The aims of this study are to illuminate the process of relational dissolution through analysis of personal accounts and to identify similarities and differences in the disengaging process for marriages versus dating relationships. Personal accounts of the dissolution of 50 marital and 50 pre‐marital relationships were analyzed in terms of four key features: (1) the problems and relational stresses that motivate one or both members to dissolve the relationship, (2) the attributions of responsibility for these problems, (3) the attempts to repair or manage the dissolving relationship, and (4) the factors that impede termination of the relationship. Findings indicate that the structural and affective enmeshment of marital couples lend to their disengagement accounts a characteristic complexity not paralleled in the accounts of couples who dissolved their relationship prior to marriage.
Given the multifaceted association between infidelity and relationship dissolution, it is crucial that researchers and clinicians not only explore the first-order effects of different variables on the likelihood of relationship termination, but also consider how such factors may interact to cause dissolution or reconciliation. In accordance with this important but admittedly lofty vision of contextualizing the decision to terminate a relationship following infidelity, in this chapter we explore the predictors of relationship dissolution following infidelity, as well as evidence of interdependence among these predictors. In this regard, we consider event-related factors, such as the type of infidelity and degree of involvement; cognitive factors, such as attributions and attitudes regarding extradyadic involvement and the other spouses' awareness of the infidelity; and individual or partner characteristics and relationship variables. After exploring the various determinants of relationship dissolution following infidelity, we consider the impact of extradyadic behavior on postmarital adjustment. In the penultimate section of the chapter, we examine the role of couple therapy and forgiveness in the aftermath of infidelity. Finally, we explore future directions for clinical work and research. However, we begin with a brief review of the infidelity literature to lay the foundation for later sections of the chapter. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
• As the title suggests, this book examines the psychology of interpersonal relations. In the context of this book, the term "interpersonal relations" denotes relations between a few, usually between two, people. How one person thinks and feels about another person, how he perceives him and what he does to him, what he expects him to do or think, how he reacts to the actions of the other--these are some of the phenomena that will be treated. Our concern will be with "surface" matters, the events that occur in everyday life on a conscious level, rather than with the unconscious processes studied by psychoanalysis in "depth" psychology. These intuitively understood and "obvious" human relations can, as we shall see, be just as challenging and psychologically significant as the deeper and stranger phenomena. The discussion will center on the person as the basic unit to be investigated. That is to say, the two-person group and its properties as a superindividual unit will not be the focus of attention. Of course, in dealing with the person as a member of a dyad, he cannot be described as a lone subject in an impersonal environment, but must be represented as standing in relation to and interacting with another person. The chapter topics included in this book include: Perceiving the Other Person; The Other Person as Perceiver; The Naive Analysis of Action; Desire and Pleasure; Environmental Effects; Sentiment; Ought and Value; Request and Command; Benefit and Harm; and Reaction to the Lot of the Other Person. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
• As the title suggests, this book examines the psychology of interpersonal relations. In the context of this book, the term "interpersonal relations" denotes relations between a few, usually between two, people. How one person thinks and feels about another person, how he perceives him and what he does to him, what he expects him to do or think, how he reacts to the actions of the other--these are some of the phenomena that will be treated. Our concern will be with "surface" matters, the events that occur in everyday life on a conscious level, rather than with the unconscious processes studied by psychoanalysis in "depth" psychology. These intuitively understood and "obvious" human relations can, as we shall see, be just as challenging and psychologically significant as the deeper and stranger phenomena. The discussion will center on the person as the basic unit to be investigated. That is to say, the two-person group and its properties as a superindividual unit will not be the focus of attention. Of course, in dealing with the person as a member of a dyad, he cannot be described as a lone subject in an impersonal environment, but must be represented as standing in relation to and interacting with another person. The chapter topics included in this book include: Perceiving the Other Person; The Other Person as Perceiver; The Naive Analysis of Action; Desire and Pleasure; Environmental Effects; Sentiment; Ought and Value; Request and Command; Benefit and Harm; and Reaction to the Lot of the Other Person. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
This study examined the effects of pretransgression relational characteristics and communicative infidelity (CI) motives on anticipated posttransgression relationship outcomes. Participants (N = 215) answered questions assessing investment, satisfaction, quality of alternatives, commitment, and perceived partner uniqueness (PPU) before responding to 1 of 5 CI scenarios, followed by assessments of forgiveness and dissolution or continuance decisions. Results revealed differences in posttransgression outcomes based on both sex and the pretransgression assessments, but not as a result of the partner's motive for committing CI. Additionally, one CI motive (i.e., sexual depression) moderated the relationship between pretransgression PPU and posttransgression discussion of the offense.
Because a relationship between jealousy expression and the experience of uncertainty has been consistently demonstrated, the current project proposes that general partner and relational uncertainty arise in one individual as a reaction to jealousy expression from that individual's partner. Specifically, the amount of uncertainty present after another person expresses jealousy is predicted to differ according to relational type and the way in which the jealousy is expressed. Hypothetical jealousy scenarios involving cross‐sex friends, siblings, dating partners, and negative, neutral, and positive jealousy expression are utilized to test these predictions. Findings reveal that cross‐sex friends are more uncertain than either siblings or daters after another person expresses jealousy. In addition, another person's use of negative affect expression (neutral jealousy expression) is related to greater uncertainty compared with another's use of integrative communication (positive jealousy expression). The importance of considering reactions to another person's jealousy expression is described. Further, implications for uncertainty research are discussed.
This study proposes an empirically based model with a strong theoretical foundation in higher education and social psychology to better understand how the college experience influences the development of attitudes of acceptance towards lesbian, gay, and bisexual (LGB) persons. Our results demonstrated that students develop more accepting attitudes toward LGB persons when they enroll in diversity courses, interact across race, or interact with LGB peers. In addition, we found that students' thoughts about their identity in college as well as their comfort around LGB persons are important influences on LGB attitude development.
A number of philosophers from Hume on have claimed that it does not make sense to blame people for acting badly unless their bad acts were rooted in their characters. In this paper, I distinguish a stronger and a weaker version of this claim. The claim is false, I argue, if it is taken to mean that agents can only be blamed for bad acts when those acts are manifestations of character paws. However, what is both true and important is the weaker claim that an act is not blameworthy unless it is rooted in some enduring aspect or aspects of the agent's character that may or may not be flaws, and that, if flaws, may or may not be bad in the same way that the act itself is.
Based on sexual strategies theory, we predicted that men would be less likely to continue an imagined long-term relationship following a partner’s heterosexual affair compared to homosexual affair. For women, it was expected that both affair types would result in a low willingness to continue the relationship, but especially so for homosexual affairs. We further predicted that the interaction would remain independent of the following moderator variables: number of affair partners, number of instances of infidelity, and real infidelity experience. Participants (N = 718) were randomly assigned to read one of eight infidelity scenarios and estimate the likelihood that they would continue the relationship. Results confirmed all three predictions. A separate analysis of relationship outcomes following real infidelity experiences provided additional corroboration. These results support the conclusion that threats to paternity and threats of abandonment differentially motivate men and women to terminate relationships in response to a partner’s infidelity.
This article, a follow-up on our methodological review of infidelity studies, provides a substantive review of the research findings on infidelity in committed relationships. The aim of this article is to present the most conclusive findings available to both researcher and practitioner on the subject of infidelity. We highlight attitudes toward infidelity; prevalence data; types of infidelity; gender dynamics and infidelity; issues in the primary relationship and their relationship to infidelity; race, culture, and infidelity; education, income, employment, and infidelity; justifications for infidelity; individual issues and their relationship to infidelity; same-sex couples and infidelity; attachment and infidelity; opportunity and infidelity; the aftermath and recovery process from infidelity; and clinical practices.
How to maintain relatedness in the context of being harmed by others, especially an intimate partner, is a fundamental human challenge. Forgiveness provides a way of meeting this challenge as it removes the barrier to relatedness caused by a transgression. But scientists know very little about forgiveness and its role in close relationships. This article therefore offers a conceptual analysis of forgiveness. The analysis then serves as the foundation for an organizational framework that can be used to study forgiveness in close relationships. Finally, preliminary data are presented that speak to some of the issues introduced in the article.
This study explored whether attributions for negative partner behavior mediate the association between insecure attachment and negative couple communication, using both self-report and observational data. A sample of 59 married and cohabiting Australian couples completed self-report measures of attachment, attributions, and communication; were videotaped participating in two ten-minute problem-solving discussions; and were assessed on their attributions during the discussions using video-mediated recall. Multi-level modeling found female attachment insecurity was the most consistent predictor of self-reported and observed couple communication, and negative attributions mediated the association between attachment and self-reported couple communication. These findings suggested attachment insecurity increased the likelihood that negative attributions were generated which, in some cases, then influenced the style of communication each partner reported.
Older adolescents were surveyed concerning three issues: behaviors which constitute infidelity in a dating relationship, reasons for a dating partner to be unfaithful, and reactions to a dating partner's infidelity. Responses from 247 participants indicated more similarities than differences between dating infidelity and extramarital affairs with regard to behaviors, causes, and consequences. Results are discussed in terms of similarities between dating and marital infidelity, and the rationale for professionals to interact with adolescents concerning the potential long-term consequences of dating infidelity.
Psychotherapy with same-sex couples does not differ markedly from standard couple therapies; this is also true for treating couples facing infidelity. However, same-sex couples often design their relationships differently, without tradition and formal marital contracts to prescribe behavior. Based on clinical experience and the empirical research, this article addresses the differing norms involved in affirmatively treating infidelity in gay and lesbian couples within the framework of integrative behavioral couple therapy (IBCT). Two cases illustrate the process and outcome of IBCT with same-sex couples.