ThesisPDF Available

Seeking Solitude: the positive effects of being alone

Authors:

Abstract

Solitude creates, among other things, time for reflection, self-discovery and spiritual elevation. It is a time for thinking and relaxation. Still, solitude is often described as something negative and bad. In this essay, I want to highlight the positive aspects it can have. Solitude is something I and many others enjoy. But there are also people, who can't handle being on their own for long periods of time. Is being alone something we can learn or are some just better at it than others? How does being in solitude affect our personality and interaction with others? I hypothesize that solitude improves our understanding of ourselves and that we are therefore better at understanding others.
Seeking Solitude
The positive effects of being alone
Samantha Vosse
Introduction
Solitude creates, among other things, time for reflection, self-discovery and spiritual
elevation. It is a time for thinking and relaxation. Still, solitude is often described as
something negative and bad. In this essay, I want to highlight the positive aspects it can
have. Solitude is something I and many others enjoy. But there are also people, who can’t
handle being on their own for long periods of time. Is being alone something we can learn or
are some just better at it than others? How does being in solitude affect our personality and
interaction with others? I hypothesize that solitude improves our understanding of ourselves
and that we are therefore better at understanding others.
Solitude isn't the same as loneliness
When you translate the word “solitude” into Dutch it says “eenzaamheid”. When translating
this back to English you get the word “loneliness”. We have to start by understanding that
solitude
and loneliness
are two very different things, even though they both revolve around
the term ‘alone’.
Choosing to be alone, and enjoying that experience is called solitude. Here we are talking
about literally being by yourself, with no one else around.
When you don't choose to be alone, but you are alone, and this is making you miserable, we
are talking about loneliness. The big difference is that you can also feel lonely even when
there are other people around.1 Loneliness is, therefore, more a mental state. Loneliness
increases stress, depression, it even increases the risk of dementia.2
Solitude, on the other hand, is the conscious choice to spent time in isolation. It is a physical
state of being that enhances good feelings.3
Solitude is misunderstood
In many written texts, academic and philosophical, solitude is referred to as a bad thing.
They use words as; sadness, despair, loneliness and depression to describe solitude.4 Here
they are often talking about imposed solitude, not chosen solitude.
Solitude is the chosen state of being alone without feeling lonely. I would like to address that
you can still feel lonely when you are in solitude. This isn’t a direct consequence of being
alone, but rather the way you deal with this alone time. When spending time in solitude you
are constantly confronted with yourself. With your own thoughts and doubts and emotions.5
Especially if you are not used to this, it can be a very overwhelming experience that isn’t
pleasant and can increase negative feelings. You start to long for the things you miss and
the unfamiliarity of the situation can make you feel alienated from your surroundings and
yourself.6
Having no distractions gives you time to do all kinds of tasks that need deep concentration.
When you don’t know how to fill your time, you can start to feel bored, increasing feelings of
anxiety.7 We have to ignore the pressure of the constant need we feel to be doing something
productive so that we can enjoy our time unplugged.
Solitude is a silent storm that breaks down all our dead branches, yet it sends our living roots
deeper into the living heart of the living earth.
- Khalil Gibran
Solitude isn't just for introverts
Solitude is often enjoyed in silence, away from people. Being social and enjoying time alone
go together better than one might expect. We need to give our minds some peace and rest
in between social moments. To reflect on situations and understand ourselves and others.
Being in solitude gives us time to recharge and prepare for another wave of daily life. These
moments of solitude, short or long, create balance.
Though introverts tend to spend more time on their own, extroverts can be just as good at
being on their own. The trait that really determines if you will get the most out of your alone
time is called dispositional autonomy
, which is having a deep interest in your own thoughts.
There are two main types of solitude that people seek: ‘reactive solitude’ and ‘constructive
solitude’. Reactive solitude means someone desires solitude over interacting with others.
Constructive solitude is the pursuit of solitude for its mental values and benefits.8
Solitude is a good thing
Spending time with yourself can have many benefits.9 It may increase your creativity, partly
because you are more focused. This uninterrupted focus also enhances your ability to solve
problems and concentrate on difficult tasks.10 By giving yourself the time to simply be, you
will start to remember events from the past and reflect on them in a more clear way than
before.
The more you are on your own the easier it gets, you learn to deal with the vast amount of
thoughts and develop ways to sort out your emotions. Over time this will create space for
new thoughts and emotions.11 Patience is key in this process. Meditation can help to ease
this transition from always being connected to being in solitude. When anchoring your
attention to a single focus, such as breathing, your body starts to calm down and relax,
giving it space to deal with the new situation.9
The deeper understanding of yourself, that you get from spending time alone, enriches your
life and can help you de-stress. You will feel more confident and in harmony with the world
around you. By building up your sense of self you get to know that you don’t need constant
validation of others, on- and offline. You can feel good about yourself by your own
validation.12
Solitude is being in control
Our sense of self has changed over the years. In a world that is connected 24/7, it might
seem impossible to be in solitude unless we go to the outskirts of the world and hide in the
forest or stay on a plane of ice. The need we feel to constantly be connected is something
we have to learn to let go. Solitude isn’t a set of rules you have to follow to experience all the
beneficial effects and avoid all the negative effects. There is not a set timeframe after which
you will start to feel different, no one tells you to turn off your phone (though it will benefit the
feeling of solitude), there is no certain distance you have to be away from other people. You
can experience solitude in nature as well as in the city. Everyone experiences solitude
differently and in his or her own time and space.
Being on your own means there are no other people to take into account when making
decisions or doing activities. It gives a certain sense of freedom that is otherwise absolute.
The inner peace and relaxation that occurs can create heightened sensory awareness which
provides a more accurate memory and a better understanding of our surroundings.6
Isolation is a way to know ourselves.
- Franz Kafka
Solitude is about connecting
There are no literal connections while being in solitude, but there is a form of cause and
effect related to the self-revelation that is experienced through solitude. It might feel like a
strange thing to become friends with yourself. But if you know yourself very well, and learn to
like that person, it is easier to communicate with other people.13 When we are in true
solitude we can experience enlightenment. We discover things about ourselves that are
otherwise suppressed by the drag of everyday life.
When we start to understand, really deeply understand, why we do things, react in certain
ways and feel the way we feel, only then we can start to understand why other people do,
react and feel the way they do. It increases our empathy towards others. If we show others
we understand their situation they will feel more secure around us and ultimately will feel
happier and more at ease.9
Solitude is being together (conclusion)
Solitude and loneliness are two very different things, though the two terms are often used
interchangeably. For some, it is easy to be on their own and fill their time with valuable
activities. For others, it is more difficult to be on their own and to be confronted with all of
their thoughts and emotions that were previously numbed by the rush of life. But the benefits
of solitude apply to everyone. These include; an increase in creativity, deep relaxation and
you become better at solving problems.
Being in uninterrupted silence gets you involved in your own emotions and thoughts. You get
to really understanding them, creating an inward awareness that helps you improve your
outward awareness. Because by understanding your own feelings and actions, you can
better step into someone else's shoes and understand what they are experiencing.
Solitude isn’t made up by a set of rules and a precise outcome. All that is needed is a place
where you can disconnect from the world. Everyone will experience solitude in a different
way. There is no right or wrong.
Sources
1. Maitland, S. (21-6-2018) Seven life lessons from a modern-day hermit, BBC Radio 3 Free Thinking
Festival, The One and the Many, London. Are we Afraid of Being Alone?
2. Angelina R Sutin et al. Loneliness and Risk of Dementia, The Journals of Gerontology: Series B
(2018). DOI: 10.1093/geronb/gby112
3. Estroff Marano, H. (2003b, July 1). What Is Solitude? Retrieved from
https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/articles/200307/what-is-solitude
4. Stavros, B. J. (2015). The philosophy of solitude. ENCEPHALOS, 52, 14–24.
4. Kwapil, T. R., Silvia, P. J., Myin-Germeys, I., Anderson, A., Coates, S. A., & Brown, L. H. (2009).
The social world of the socially anhedonic: Exploring the daily ecology of asociality. Journal of
Research in Personality, 43(1), 103–106. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2008.10.008
5. Christopher R. Long and James R. Averill, Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits of Being Alone, pp.
21–44
6. Coplan, R. J., & Bowker, J. C. (2014). The Handbook of Solitude: Psychological Perspectives on
Social Isolation, Social Withdrawal, and Being Alone. Chichester, England: John Wiley & Sons.
7. Merrifield, C., & Danckert, J. (2013). Characterizing the psychophysiological signature of boredom.
Experimental Brain Research, 232(2), 481–491. https://doi.org/10.1007/s00221-013-3755-2
8. Nguyen, T. T., Weinstein, N., & Ryan, R. M. (2018). Identifying Personality Characteristics
associated with the Capacity to be Alone using Big-Five Theory, Attachment Theory, and
Self-Determination Theory. Unpublished manuscript
9. Smookler, E. (2017, June). The Power of Solitude. MIndfull, 2017(6).
https://www.mindful.org/the-power-of-solitude/
10. Bowker, J. C., Stotsky, M. T., & Etkin, R. G. (2017). How BIS/BAS and psycho-behavioral
variables distinguish between social withdrawal subtypes during emerging adulthood. Personality and
Individual Differences, 119, 283–288. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.07.043
11. Figurski, L. (2012). The Courage to Think for Yourself: The Search for Truth and the Meaning of
Human Life. Washington DC, United States of America: UPA. pp. 24-26
12. Venzin, E. (2017, February 16). Self Worth and Solitude. Retrieved from
https://medium.com/thrive-global/self-worth-and-solitude-65b926b3783f
13. Herrmann, L., Böckler, A., Trautwein, F. M., Holmes, T., & Singer, T. (2017). Know Thy Selves:
Learning to Understand Oneself Increases the Ability to Understand Others. Journal of Cognitive
Enhancement, 1(2), 197–207. Retrieved from https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s41465-017-
0023-6
... Samantha Vosse in her Masters Dissertation, titled Seeking Solitude: The Positive Effects of Being Alone, discusses that loneliness empties the self, whereas solitude charges up the self. Of course, no man can live as an island but a little time alone for that self-pampering won't do any harm (18). ...
Article
Pablo Picasso’s words, "Without great solitude, no serious work is possible” rightly points to the gravity of Solitude. The glory of Solitude finds a place in the receptacle of literature. In American Literature, Solitude has been the bedrock for the movement of Transcendentalism and the ideology of Individualism. Solitude, rather than an essentially distraction free peaceful environment, is a serene disposition of the mind, where a person separates himself/ herself from his/her usual community attachment to discover the self. It is real powerful that it can give a person his/ her predicament in this universe. Mental Detox is moving past trauma caused by thoughts, emotions and the external world to a brand-new reshaped identity. These ideas have been well supported in the selected poetry of Sylvia Plath, Emily Dickinson and Robert Frost with the application of Thoreauvian Philosophy and Roger’s Self-theory of Personality. This study elaborates how Solitude can function as an avenue for Mental Detox to Reconfigure the Self by applying Thoreauvian Philosophy, Roger’s Self-theory of Personality and the concept of Mental Detoxification to the analysis of selected American Poetry.
... O ile poczucie osamotnienia, alienacji, odrzucenia, marginalizacji, niedopasowania do otoczenia społecznego, braku spostrzeganego wsparcia społecznego pozostaje w niekorzystnych związkach ze zdrowiem psychicznym i somatycznym (Smith, Victor, 2018, Heinrich, Gullone, 2006, a także śmiertelnością (Steptoe, Shankar, Demakakos, Wardle, 2013), co wskazuje na negatywne jego aspekty, o tyle samotność w sensie fizycznym czy społecznym nie jest jednoznacznie zła, a bywa wręcz pożądana. Dotyczy to sytuacji, kiedy człowiek potrzebuje wyciszenia, spokoju, pobycia z samym sobą, czasu na autorefleksję, zrelaksowania się, ale również w sytuacji samorozwoju, kreatywności i pracy twórczej (Vosse, 2019). Samotność z wyboru jest zatem pozytywna, natomiast samotność narzucona, niechciana i nieakceptowana ma -podobnie jak osamotnienie -wartość negatywną. ...
Chapter
Wprowadzenie: Jakość życia stanowi interdyscyplinarny obszar badawczy, a jej wielowymiarowe i wieloaspektowe ujmowanie wskazuje na liczne zmienne (zarówno obiektywne, jak i subiektywne) pozostające z nią w ścisłych relacjach. Jednym z ta-kich czynników jest samotność, która wiąże się z subiektywną jakością życia rozumianą jako harmonia życia.Cel badań: W badaniach skoncentrowano się na poszukiwaniu związków samotności z jakością życia osób starszych rozumianą jako harmonia życia.Materiał i metody badawcze: Praca ma charakter empiryczny. W badaniu wzięło udział 210 seniorów w wieku 60+. Do zbierania danych wykorzystano Skalę do ba-dania samotności SBS-AD Z. Dołęgi i Skalę do badania poczucia samotności De Jong Gierveld oraz Kwestionariusz do badania harmonii życia A.Gałuszki.Wyniki: Analiza statystyczna wykazała ujemną zależność pomiędzy harmonią życia a różnymi rodzajami samotności (samotnością emocjonalną ρ= -0,413, p< 0,001,społeczną ρ= -0,465, p< 0,001 i egzystencjalną ρ= -0,461, p< 0,001) oraz globalnym wskaźnikiem samotności ρ= -0,468, p< 0,001 (SBS-AD) i ρ= -0,469, p< 0,001 (De Jong Gierveld). Ponadto wyższe poczucie harmonii życiowej wykazały kobiety (t = 2,27; p = 0,025), osoby zamieszkujące z innymi (t = 2,97; p = 0,003) oraz pozytyw-nie oceniające swój stan zdrowia ((t = 2,34; p < 0,05, F = 5,46, β=0,17, R2skor.=0,02). Wnioski: Samotność wykazuje negatywne związki z harmonią życia osób w wieku senioralnym.
Article
Full-text available
Understanding others’ feelings, intentions, and beliefs is a crucial social skill both for our personal lives and for meeting the challenges of a globalized world. Recent evidence suggests that the ability to represent and infer others’ mental states (Theory of Mind, ToM) can be enhanced by mental training in healthy adults. The present study investigated the role of training-induced understanding of oneself for the enhanced understanding of others. In a large-scale longitudinal study, two independent participant samples (N = 80 and N = 81) received a 3-month contemplative training. This training focused on perspective taking and was inspired by the Internal Family Systems model that conceives the self as being composed of a complex system of inner personality aspects. Specifically, participants practiced perspective taking on their own inner states by learning to identify and classify different inner personality parts. Results revealed that the degree to which participants improved their understanding of themselves—reflected in the number of different inner parts they could identify—predicted their improvements in high-level ToM performance over training. Especially the number of identified parts that were negatively valenced showed a strong relation with enhanced ToM capacities. This finding suggests a close link between getting better in understanding oneself and improvement in social intelligence.
Article
Full-text available
Research on the experience and expression of boredom is underdeveloped. The purpose of the present study was to explore the psychophysiological signature of the subjective experience of boredom. Healthy undergraduates (n = 72) viewed previously validated and standardized video clips to induce boredom, sadness, and a neutral affective state, while their heart rate (HR), skin conductance levels (SCL), and cortisol levels were measured. Boredom yielded dynamic psychophysiological responses that differed from the other emotional states. Of particular interest, the physiological signature of boredom relative to sadness was characterized by rising HR, decreased SCL, and increased cortisol levels. This pattern of results suggests that boredom may be associated with both increased arousal and difficulties with sustained attention. These findings may help to resolve divergent conceptualizations of boredom in the extant literature and, ultimately, to enhance our understanding and treatment of clinical syndromes in which self-reported boredom is a prominent symptom.
Article
Objective: The present study tests whether loneliness is associated with risk of dementia in the largest sample to date and further examines whether the association is independent of social isolation, a related but independent component of social integration, and whether it varies by demographic factors and genetic vulnerability. Method: Participants from the Health and Retirement Study (N = 12,030) reported on their loneliness, social isolation, and had information on clinical, behavioral, and genetic risk factors. Cognitive status was assessed at baseline and every 2 years over a 10-year follow-up with the modified Telephone Interview for Cognitive Status (TICSm). A TICSm score of 6 or less was indicative of dementia. Results: Cox proportional hazards regression indicated that loneliness was associated with a 40% increased risk of dementia. This association held controlling for social isolation, and clinical, behavioral, and genetic risk factors. The association was similar across gender, race, ethnicity, education, and genetic risk. Discussion: Loneliness is associated with increased risk of dementia. It is one modifiable factor that can be intervened on to reduce dementia risk.
Article
Informed by past theory and research on social withdrawal, the aims of this study were to investigate whether three subtypes of social withdrawal (shyness, avoidance, unsociability) are related with BIS and BAS, as hypothesized by leading theories. Also of interest was whether these three withdrawal subtypes are related uniquely to different theoretically-indicated outcomes during emerging adulthood, a developmental period that has received very little empirical attention in this area of research. Participants were 295 (Mage = 19.31 years) emerging adults who completed self-report measures assessing different motivations for social withdrawal, aggression, anxiety sensitivity, creativity, social anhedonia, and BIS/BAS. Structural equation modeling revealed findings that challenge theoretical models that assume that specific and varying combinations of BIS and BAS underlie different withdrawal subtypes. The models also revealed new evidence of specific and non-specific associations, including the first evidence of a potential benefit (creativity) associated with unsociability.
Article
The need to belong is fundamental to human motivation. The significance of needs for relatedness and intimacy can be highlighted by examining aberrations in these needs. Social anhedonia, a component of the schizophrenia spectrum, represents a lack of reward from social interaction. The present research examined the everyday social worlds of the socially anhedonic. A week-long experience-sampling study found that people high in social anhedonia were more likely to be alone. When alone, they were likely to prefer solitude and to be alone by choice, not because they felt excluded. When with other people, they were likely to be in bigger, less intimate groups and to feel asocial. Socially anhedonic people felt more positive affect and less negative affect when alone, indicating a genuine preference for solitude. Because social anhedonia is a liability for psychopathology, it is the exception to the need to belong that proves the rule.
Article
Christopher R. Long and James R. Averill, Solitude: An Exploration of Benefits of Being Alone, pp. 21–44. Historically, philosophers, artists, and spiritual leaders have extolled the benefits of solitude; currently, advice on how to achieve solitude is the subject of many popular books and articles. Seldom, however, has solitude been studied by psychologists, who have focused instead on the negative experiences associated with being alone, particularly loneliness. Solitude, in contrast to loneliness, is often a positive state—one that may be sought rather than avoided. In this article, we examine some of the benefits that have been attributed to solitude—namely, freedom, creativity, intimacy, and spirituality. In subsequent sections, we consider the environmental settings and personality characteristics conducive to solitude, how time spent alone is experienced differently across the life span, and the potential dangers related to the attractiveness of solitude. We conclude with a brief discussion of the theoretical and practical implications of solitude.
21-6-2018) Seven life lessons from a modern-day hermit, BBC Radio 3 Free Thinking Festival, The One and the Many, London. Are we Afraid of Being Alone?
  • S Maitland
Maitland, S. (21-6-2018) Seven life lessons from a modern-day hermit, BBC Radio 3 Free Thinking Festival, The One and the Many, London. Are we Afraid of Being Alone?
The philosophy of solitude
  • B J Stavros
Stavros, B. J. (2015). The philosophy of solitude. ENCEPHALOS, 52, 14-24.
Identifying Personality Characteristics associated with the Capacity to be Alone using Big-Five Theory, Attachment Theory, and Self-Determination Theory
  • T T Nguyen
  • N Weinstein
  • R M Ryan
Nguyen, T. T., Weinstein, N., & Ryan, R. M. (2018). Identifying Personality Characteristics associated with the Capacity to be Alone using Big-Five Theory, Attachment Theory, and Self-Determination Theory. Unpublished manuscript