In contemporary design research and practice, food is often seen as a problem to be fixed. Designers in the corporate startup realm as well as in academic HFI (Human-Food Interaction) have proposed various techno-solutions to curb complex food system issues such as malnutrition and environmental unsustainability. Quantified diet trackers, 'smart' kitchenware, food sharing apps and similar digital food technologies present opportunities for efficient food practices but also challenges to human-food relationship and social food traditions. The Parlour of Futures project reflects on these contradictions and addresses the growing trend of food-technology innovation through the lens of Speculative and Critical Design (SCD). The project takes the form of a traditional Tarot parlour where participants explore possible food-tech futures as prophecies. Through a bespoke Food Tarot cards deck presenting speculative food practices such as Monsanta[n]ism, Gut Gardening, or Turing Foodism, the project provokes playful food-tech imaginaries and future food scenarios. We discuss the opportunities of SCD in nurturing reflective food design and research, and invite OzCHI attendees to contribute their future food ideas during the Parlour demo session.