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Are gay/lesbian relationships really as short as they seem?

Authors:
  • Whitehead Associates, 54 Redvers Drive, Lower Hutt, New Zealand

Abstract

This review paper finds that the three best estimates (medians) of gay/lesbian (GL)(SSA) relationship-lengths are 3.6y/4.95y (male/female), (Lau, 2012, UK): 4.7y/3.3y(m/f), (Carpenter & Gates, 2008, US): and 2.7y/3.9y (m/f) (Gebhard & Johnston, 1979, US). The two US studies have an overall median of 3.7y/3.6y (m/f), meaning male/female results are similar length. These are compatible with the UK study, and much less than the heterosexual (OSA) median length of 27y with a marriage in the 1970’s, the period which had the highest subsequent divorce-rate. OSA median relationships (UK) are 7.7 times/5.6 times (m/f) the length of SSA ones. US data give respectively and similarly, 7.4x/7.2x and these are large ratios. Other supporting USA data, although consistent with the above medians, are potentially subject to more bias from “volunteer error”, hence may be maxima. Similar or lower results are found cross-culturally. There is no trend with time for combined data for GL since WWII in spite of increased societal acceptance. For bisexuals and overall relationships with either sex, the median lengths are indistinguishable from GL: i.e. 3.5y/3.2y (m/f). The lack of clear gender difference in medians confirms earlier suggestions that factors reducing relationship-length may be inherent to same-sex attraction rather than dependent on gender or experiences of homophobia, since bisexuals experience much less homophobia but have similar median relationship-lengths. The possibility of a 25 y SSA relationship-length is about 5% compared with about 50% for a 25y OSA one (i.e. Silver Wedding) and should not be presented to clients as a likely outcome of seeking same-sex relationships. Another implication is that there is high probability children involved will suffer the equivalent of a divorce. The probability of some degree of orientation change under therapy is at least ten times as great as reaching the 25y mark in a GL relationship.

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 !"#!$%&%
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From Journal of Human Sexuality 8: 99-125 (2017)
Summary
)!*+,-
+. ,+//,0123+-,
+ #(%&(45,6711+-,+89.(%%:4/,6
(713+-,+.9'&3734/,)!4/#
-1712+-,-#
)!45##
;#+</,-(7!&37%=
!#>#0</
+45,772+-,-//4/
7;7(;
<#4/#!
#?-@#A
;/!#-#0##)
!--. BB-
&
C;#!;
#-. 611(+-,)D-
E*#-
#00;
;-;#
;##0
)-(//0#F
!#%F-(</+/,
#D#-D0;

!#E>#-)-
-#
(D. 
Introduction
###-
+ 5#D(%%(1,@
-#A#
-;#+G#9
/!H&3:1,+.G9$D&332,+5#D&33:,+.9
'&373,@)-
#D >#
A+G#9/!H&3:11((,"*-
###)##-
!;#0
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1#%F-. ("
#D#!#-#
#!+ID&3:,#!
##(J+J&332,7%F-
1"!!#
-###
0#-#+ #
.J9J&33,D#-
4/#0>##;#
#;#)-
#-!-##
0#)
!!;#
-0*-#
)#-45!4/#-
>#!0
Requirements for good representative surveys
#!##
;#-D#<#
+ #(%&(,J#
##;#
1
;#/###!
*!!-
)#-+ #(%&(,D-!45
&3:&37%J(%%G
#>#B#
-! ##-!
!#
#-D#
C0#+@A,#!*
4-#-##?#!#
!!#
!0
)D!@#A#
#+G
#9J(%%%,B# ###
4-#-#//0
!
!-!##
#)##*#-
!!-##-#
;"!#-##

-#-#!
>#!#-#)
##-###
#--
###)#?##
##0
;#-)K#!#
-45&37%8(%%#
0--#
&)K#D-
#-!-&(1
;-##!-
#!G###
#&

Measures of typical length
K#!;#-
0--#)-
#-#+0#,
#-. 0!##
C#&+8(%%%,
C#&J//0-#+C#!
-+8(%%%,,
#C#&##
--!--!
;D##)-
*--#!C#(2C#
&!#-mean-B
!median!#+%FD,
#!#-
"!!#
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+;&,-!
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SSA Data from the literature
Lau (2012)
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#//J-
<///J<///C77;2;)
!<///0
)>#-##%:F-//J(2F-//C
!(<//#;
-:##-0;
##%-:)
!1F+4/#,-C#&#)
1F#//J//C#
!"!4/#!45#
###E
B</4/#%F"!
!;#!##P7%P:%
%F*#
!B-##!-
!+/9-(%%7,
!#
#-
-0-
45#!#4/-!
-!!4/#
+.9'&373)  (Carpenter & Gates, 2008)!
*#-!>###
3
Best USA studies
)#-5#.'+&373,
#-
!!!#;#
#>#!D#0"!D
#!-!
#5=!>#!#>#M
#--!"!##?
#-#?
#!#)#
###
>##-!5##-
#-#!###
-;##?#;!D!
#)!-(7
13-//J//C
)+89.(%%:,!!--#
. ##8--(%%#
-@A!*H(%%:)!
-#>##D#
##E0#
*##->#)!711
-//J//C
&%
)-!#+.9'&373,+89
.(%%:,!1712-//J//C
!##H-45#)
//J#45*##//C*#!
!#!--#
!45#
#E#(7-
)#4///J//C
#D#!#Q1%F
Other Supporting SSA Studies
#;#-#!
*-#;&)H
!C#1###!#
#--#!/
!#--
D!---#;#-C#1!
#;##
###
#"BR##!
!/-;#-

&&
C#1J//0+#,-
H#;&I6GD6
.6#)!!!
#;)H+1:,-;
!#4/#
)C#145)
#;*####
!;)*#!*-
-5+&31:0&37&,+S%%,#-
+. ,E-#0+L%&%,
-0;D*EM//J#
0//C#!#
#-!#@#!*
A
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US Heterosexual Data
C4/!</&37%0&376
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Survival Curve (US)
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Years
Percentage remaining
C#-</+8(%&%,+G##-8#4/
-8(%%,-//J+8(%%%,
!-#
C#!-4/!. !
!%F-
;#/(
#-(2745*#%-
(77#</#
)</E%F-!
)#*##
#-. 
##-!#(
&1
Homosexual/Heterosexual comparisons.
)#-!#-4/
#-45!#:
J// C// ";#
%
&%
&
(%
(
1%
US Relationship-length
Length in Years
C#R#--+4/,
)</7;7(;//J//C

Other ethnic groups
)##-GD++I#89J&337,
JT&CT&2,8++I9&332,JT&,#
++5;&337,JT(+/D&332,JUCT(,
!*#1#)
>#E-</#
&
Longest relationships
/#M#-;#
//!+8!9I#&3:,+I#ID9"&3:(,
-1(M+889I
&3:3,-#T&##-
--#+C//#!10
!#,+9I&33,
-#--;
#</#
Bisexual Data
)-!#;#+.9'&373,-#
0-(1&+-,)#
+D,!+&3311,!-
11(+-,!<;;#
!#!//
</B!E-//
+6S%%,+&33%,-#
;#-:2+-,!
;#!!0;
0;
Implications
Lesbians’ relationships longer?
&
)--!
#);!#
#-
#;#-G#
-!-!+ #(%&(,##=
=
4/;##-4/
Possible explanations for SSA relationship-lengths
8#E!<///D-!
#H--</"!;#
+"D9/(%&%,+(F3F-,//0

#E-;#//!
+:F&22F//J//C,+"D9/(%&%,
--//J//C
---#!
#D#E#
D!-
8#E//;</!D
#"!--!;##
;!//+J6%F(F//JG;#
C6F&7F//CG;#+G!DG"#9J8
(%&,,#-
&2
-//#C#1!
BB-
8#--D--//
-G#;#
;#+"D(%&%,+(3FF-,

B-. #@A!#-
#%F(+-,-
</#+D/90CD?(%%2,
+5#D&33:,##--
*)--
-
8#-C#
2!</#</
#!+C#(,
//J//C8-
+C#2-#
C#(,
&7
% (  2 : &% &( & &2
%
(%
%
2%
:%
&%%
&(%
Breakups of Marriage and Cohabitation (US)
J
8
Years
Percentage remaining
C#2GD#-C+88(%%(,<0;
*#D#-
-#-E-C#(
<;*E!-//J
//C##>#
E-"!E!//
</D-//J//C.
*-
)-!E
D##-!;
0;!0;
#E-0-!;
;#+G&332,+)?)9
&:
&333,+5#D&33&,)##-+&377,
-!#-//
OSA/SSA contrasts
)###--#E
!)>#E
!</</
0##!;;#;#+#
#&%F#--##+ID(%&%,,B
//+,;#;##
##-!#
+/#/H9/H(%&&,
);#-E
-//J//C-#*#(#
0##
)#@)
!##;-0;#
--#;#
0;#A+"#-G(%&1
(%3,!#E-!-
C-#
!#@V;#
!;##A
Counseling implications
&3
/#F-. G(D
!#%F-</
##//0
)!)##
D#--#
//0##+G9&37:,+8 
9$(%&,#!-D
8#0//#D
;#+/<8,-C#
+'9W#(%%7,+'9W#(%&&,/
+#,---;#
-##--!%F
#D!;#
##!*#
0;!(C&0(F-
-#+-,-
0;#//;#</X
-*0-*
(D
B+&33,--;#
;#//#-#20:10
!D-!
#!##7%F#!#*
;&%#!!
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--0-#;-0
-!0!</#+GD9&331,G#-
##-!#
K#-#!#?#
0-
)-!#-!
-##-###
"!#
-"BR##!#
#
Conclusions
)! #58#
-0!
-#1!-&3%=
(%%%=)#@A#@#A(7
-</-454/
B!#@A!#D
E!-
#J
#--00;
D##--
;##D
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;8'+&337,C8#)- 0)
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66;&%&%17%%((01&7:1(
GD 9+&331,B
6I;-)-
JLaw and Human Behavior17+,13X%
6&%&%%7GC%&%177
G5IB9I# +(%%(, 6
#Journal of Lesbian Studies6+&,1X
216&%&1%%'&%2%&Y%2
GI9J/+&37:,Homosexualities. A Study Of Diversity
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G'+&332,;6-;#
Psychological Review1031(%X11
((
G'9 #I+(%%(,);;-
?#[;[;
Communication Research Reports19+1,(:X(2:
6&%&%:%%::(%3%(%31::
G"#-+(%&1,Working Group on human sexuality 6
8#"#I#
G5 9"+(%%:,I!D#
!00;#;0;Journal
of Social and Personal Relationships25+,723X73&
6&%&&77%(2%7%:%3223
G5 9I#D8C+(%%,Can less be more? Comparing duration vs.
frequency of sexual encounters in same-sex and mixed-sex relationships
in “The Tortoise and the Hare”: Sexual Orientation & Gender Di@erences
in the Duration of Sexual Activity-
6!!!#(17772:Y)Y)YYY"Y/;#Y
<YY.YEYYY#Y-Y/;#YY
!Y/0/;YYJ;0/;Y
G#I9/!HI+&3:1,American Couples!WD6
J!
G!DGG8'"#) G)9J8/+(%&,
;#
#4/The American Journal of Orthopsychiatry
84+&,1X6&%&%17%%3::&
(1
G!'9)+(%&%,/BH"B
C/8/#
.JAmerican Journal of Mens Health4+1,(27X(72
6&%&&77&73::1%31(%%(
G/+&33,8-.
8#6Journal of Gay & Lesbian Social Services1+(,&%&X&&7
6&%&1%%'%&%&%(Y%2
G##-8#4/-8+(%%,/#-
BII+/BII,(%%IB8I/%&70&
J&((%&-
6!!!##!8J#&7
G##DGI9GDDG+&337,8
;;B/IGJournal of Applied Social
Psychology27+&,&(&X&(76&%&&&&?&30
&:&2&337%&:%;
8!J9I# +&3:,)-!
Sex Roles10+7:,(7X%
6&%&%&7/%%1::7&%3%%%&(
8I859I5+&3:3,E-;##
#Psychological Reports64&&27X&&73
85J+(%%%,Relationship characteristics, social support,
masculine ideologies and psychological functioning of gay men in
(
couples. Ph.D. Thesis, California School of Professional Psychology
8-/-I-I
889..'+(%%:,. 6
-8-Demography45+1,71X3%6&%&11%%%&
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/Vital and Health Statistics; Series 23, No. 22, Hyattsville,
Maryland&(%&-
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BMC Public Health15+&,&12X&1:6&%&&:2&(::30%&0&120:
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Personal Relationships9+&,:3X316&%&&&&&702:&&%%%%2
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#Archives of Sexual Behavior39+1,77X7:7
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Marital Therapy37+,%X(76&%&%:%%%3(2(1N(%&&2%7%(
5 9/.+(%%,./I/6.
B/#?[GIJournal of
Personality72+,327X336&%&&&&?%%((01%2(%%%%(:7;
5;/'I.8!-'J8G;9
8+&337,/;#B/6-
AIDS11+(,&3&X&37-
6?#!!&337%(%%%/;#Y
YYYB/YYY3;
5#D +&33&,)#-. 8#Journal of
Social and Personal Relationships8+(,(2X(7:
6&%&&77%(2%73&%:(%%2
5#D +&33:,#6#
-#;
#Journal of Marriage and the Family601X2:
6&%(1%711(:
5#D +(%%,!D!##
Current Directions in Psychological Science14+,(&X(
6&%&&&&?%32107(&(%%%%17;
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/J8+(%%%,.#6-#
#Journal of Homosexuality39+(,7X7&
6&%&1%%'%:(13%(Y%1
#8\+(%&(,)/-/0/;8E0/;
8JJournal of Marriage and Family74+,371X
3::6&%&&&&?&7&01717(%&(%&%%%;
#<.'"J)9J/+&33,The
Social Organization of Sexuality864-8I
D<98HH+(%&,E-/;/;#<B*
; /;#
B*Journal of Marital and Family Therapy40+&,2:X3&
6&%&&&&?&7(0%2%2(%&(%%11&;
J89C#+(%&&,8-=G/[/;
J6)8E. G;#
B#Journal of Social Issues67+(,((X(216&%&&&&?&%0
2%(%&&%&232;
J+&332,/0;@JAB.D'/<D9'
.+,Journal of Human Sexuality+X2,8);6
!/
JI9JJ+&3:,The Male Couple!8E
!'6I0"
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J''9C+(%%2,/;#
>#0;#Personality & Social Psychology
Bulletin32+:,&%:X336&%&&77%&2&27(%2(::(:&
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+(%&%,R-/;#B
/R-/;#B
/Journal of Sex Research47+&,(X17
6&%&%:%%%((3%3%(3&2%&7
<JD//9+(%%2,/
>#0;#Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
23+&,:&X336&%&&77%(2%7%2%2%&73
ID+(%&%,);-;##;#
Perspectives on Sex and Reproductive Health42+&,11X
(6&%&121(%11&%
I/9I+&332,J;##"BR
D8BI+,Bisexualities and AIDS+(:,
456)9C-
6DDL9L9L<<&\G'9L&
I# 98/+&3:&,R#B
-.JJournal of Homosexuality6+1,&X(%
6&%&1%%'%:(%2%1Y%&
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I# 8/9JRJ+&337,/#-
B-- .BG
.+,Ethnic and cultural diversity among lesbians and gay men
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&37&)8!!
#--!6J132C
&7:##-
(F2F--
I#6+I#8D9ID&37:,+4
,(Gebhard & Johnson, 1979)(13)(M2.7/F3.9y)+I#98
&3:&,(1)(M+F <1.25y), (Peplau et al., 1982)+ ,
11
(Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983)(2)(M<4.4,F<2.8), (Caldwell & Peplau, 1984)
+ ,(McWhirter & Mattison, 1984)(3)(M<5y), (Schneider, 1986)+/
,+9.&33%,+<(U,+G&33,+Weinberg et
al., 1994,(4)(M<4, F<4y), (Green et al., 1996)(5)(M<4, F<3.5y), (Pan &
Aggleton, 1996)+8,+/D&332,+#,, (Alexander, 1997)
+G##D9GDD&337,+5;&337,+#,+I#
&337,+GD,+5#D&33:,+<U,(Campbell, 2000)(6)(M<4.5y),
(LaSala, 2000)(7)(M<4.5y), (D’Augelli & Grossman, 2001)+<S2%,
+GB9I#(%%(,+<,+G9 #(%%(,
+ ,(Gaines & Henderson, 2002)(8)(M+F 4.7)+"(%%(,+/
, (King & Smith, 2004)(9)(M<2.6y), (Henderson et al., 2002)+G9
I#D(%%,(Mohr & Fassinger, 2006)(10)(M+F <4.2y), (Otis, Rostosky, &
Riggle, 2006)+/.I9I(%%2,+G9"
(%%:,(Carpenter & Gates, 2008)(11)(M 4.7y F 3.3y), (Roisman, Clausell,
Holland, Fortuna, & Elie@, 2008)+595(%%3,
+G"BR0,+G!9)(%&%,+"E9G#(%&%,+/
,(Neilands, Chakravarty, Darbes, Beougher, & Ho@, 2010)(12)
(M<4y), (Riggle, Rostosky, & Horne, 2010)+8#,+J9
C#(%&&,+I,+8D"E9
(%&(,+G"BR0,+8DG#9"E
(%&(,+G"BRU,+.(%&(,+ D98HH(%&,+)
G#9(%&(,+/#D#DG!JD9JD(%&1,
+4,
1
Article
Full-text available
There has been growing evidence of rejection and condemnation of homosexuality by the church and society in Ghana. Homosexuality is one of the critical challenges facing the church in Ghana. Some of the reasons assigned for the rejection of homosexuality are deeply embedded in religio-cultural world views of Ghanaian communities. The church’s response to homosexuality is conservative and rejection. The attempts to have a mission approach to homosexuals have not been seriously considered. This paper examines the spade of homosexuality in Ghana and proposes a researched-based transformational urban mission to homosexuals. Narrative historical analysis is engaged for the study. The results are that Ghanaians are increasingly aware of the homosexual phenomenon in some spots in urban cities. Economic challenges are drawing the unemployed youth into the phenomenon. The church in Ghana needs to have trained pastors and laypeople for urban missions since urbanization is a global phenomenon and many of Ghana’s population live in urban cities.
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