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Gaslighting and the knot theory of mind

September 2018

DOI:10.13140/RG.2.2.30838.86082

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CC BY-ND 4.0

Authors:

Domina Petric

Independent researcher

Preprints and early-stage research may not have been peer reviewed yet.

Aim is to discuss gaslighting and to provide advices how to recognize the abuser and how to defend oneself from the gaslighting.

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Gaslighting and the knot theory of mind

Domina Petric, MD

ABSTRACT

Aim is to discuss gaslighting and to

provide advices how to recognize the

abuser and how to defend oneself from the

gaslighting.

INTRODUCTION TO GASLIGHTING

Gaslighting is a form of psychological

manipulation that seeks to sow seeds of

doubt in a targeted individual or in

members of a targeted group, making them

question their own memory, perception

and sanity. Using persistent denial,

misdirection, contradiction and lying, it

attempts to destabilize the victim and

delegitimize the victim´s belief (1, 2).

Sociopaths and narcissists use gaslighting

tactics. Sociopaths consistently transgress

social mores, break laws and exploit

others, but typically also are convincing

liars, sometimes charming ones, who

consistently deny wrongdoing. Thus, some

who have been victimized by sociopaths

may doubt their own perception (3).

The abuser wants full control of feelings,

thoughts or actions of the victim. The

abuser discreetly emotionally abuses the

victim in hostile, abusive or coercive ways

(4). Signs of gaslighting are witholding

information from the victim, countering

information to fit the abuser´s perspective,

discounting information, verbal abuse

(usually in the form of offensive jokes),

blocking and diverting the victim´s

attention from outside sources, trivializing

the victim´s worth and undermining victim

by gradually weakening them and their

thought process (5).

Three most common methods of

gaslighting are hiding, changing and

control. The abuser wants to hide things

and informations from the victim, change

something about the victim so that the

victim molds into abuser´s fantasy and

fully control the victim (6).

Gaslighting can occur in private

relationships, in school as a form of

bullying, on the work as a form of

mobbing, or can be institutional and

systematic.

Gaslighting in the workplace can occur

when individuals perform actions that

cause colleagues to question themselves

and their actions in a way that is

detrimental to their careers (7). The victim

may be deliberately excluded, made the

subject of gossip, or persistently

discredited or questioned in an attempt to

destroy the victim´s confidence. The

perpetrator may reroute conversations to

perceived faults or wrongs (8). Gaslighting

can be committed by any colleague and

can be especially detrimental when the

perpetrator is someone in a position of

power (9).

Systematic and institutional gaslighting

occurs in totalitarian and corrupted regimes

(communism, nazism, fascism, organized

crime) when the group of abusers that

serve the totalitarian regime and organized

crime abuse a targeted group of honest

individuals that oppose to totalitarianism

and crime.

GASLIGHTING AND THE KNOT

THEORY OF MIND

Gaslighting is a powerful weapon of the

abuser and can be very detrimental for the

victim. Gaslighting, especially when it is

long lasting, can cause anxiety, depression

and even psychosis. Mental and emotional

abuse causes the formation of many knots

of negative thoughts and emotions with

cognitive and emotional damage. This type

of abusers (the gaslighters) like to break

the victim´s introspective mirror so that the

victim starts to doubt in oneself. Very

powerful weapon of the gaslighters is

gossip. Abusers often slander their victims

and are often very persistent in lying.

Gaslighters like to question the victim´s

sanity so that the victim loses credibility.

Gaslighters often have double standards so

that the targeted individual feels isolated

and marginalized. Very popular tactic is

the warm-cold behavior. The perpetrator

is sometimes throwing the victim in the

positive reinforcement to confuse the

victim (10) and the rest of the time is being

very abusive and cold. Gaslighters also like

to project their flaws on the victim and

steal creative ideas and merits from the

victim. For example, incompetent abusive

boss will try to present the victim as

incompetent and steal the victim´s merits.

HOW TO DEFEND ONESELF FROM

THE GASLIGHTING

Gaslighters use toxic emotions

(pathological negative emotions) such as

hatred and envy to damage the victim´s

emotional and cognitive health. The victim

should never internalize the abuser´s

negative emotions and thoughts about

oneself. It is very important to use only

healthy negative emotions (for example,

healthy anger) when defending and to

avoid developing pathological negative

emotions (hatred, rage, depression,

pathological shame, pathological anxiety).

It is very important not to feel hatred

towards the abuser because hatred is

always toxic for emotional health. The

victim should always look for the positive

stimuli so that the balance between

positive and negative emotions and

thoughts is maintained. After the conflict

with the abuser is finished, it is very

important to restore the homeostasis of the

mind and to feel positive emotions (love,

joy, gratitude) and think positive about

oneself.

It is very important to raise awareness in

the society about gaslighting and to use

social measures to prevent gaslighting in

the school, at workplace, in the institutions

and private relationships. High quality

legislative measures that protect victims

from gaslighting (bullying, mobbing,

institutional gaslighting, discrimination,

private gaslighting) are mandatory.

CONCLUSION

Gaslighting is very dangerous form of

psychological manipulation and abuse that

can occur in private relationships, in the

school, at workplace and systematically.

The consequences of the gaslighting can be

devastating. It is very important to raise

awareness in the society about gaslighting

and to provide high quality legislative

measures that will protect all the victims of

the gaslighting. The knot psychotherapy

(disentanglement of the knots) might be

helpful for the victims of gaslighting.

REFERENCES:

1. Oxford Dictionaries (April 20, 2016).

Retrieved from

https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definitio

n/gaslight

2. Dorpat TL. On the double whammy and

gaslighting. Psychoanalysis &

Psychotherapy, 1994;11(1):91-96.

3. Stout M. The Sociopath Next Door.

Random House Digital, 2014:94-95.

4. Dorpat TL. Crimes of Punishment:

America´s Culture of Violence. Algora

Publishing, 2007:118-130.

5. Evans P. The Verbally Abusive

Relationship: How to Recognize it and

How to Respond. Holbrook, Mass: Adams

Media Corporation, 1996.

6. Greenberg E. Are You Being Gaslighted

By the Narcissist in Your Life?

Psychology Today. Sussex Publisher

(September 17, 2017). Retrieved from

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog

/understanding-narcissism/201709/are-

you-being-gaslighted-the-narcissist-in-

your-life

7. Portnow KE. Dialogues of doubt: The

psychology of self-doubt and emotional

gaslighting in adult women and men

(1997). Retrieved from

https://elibrary.ru/item.asp?id=5572602

8. Young S. Gaslighting at work-when you

think you are going crazy (July 22, 2016).

Retrieved from

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/gaslightin

g-work-when-you-think-going-crazy-

samantha-young/

9. Simon G. Gaslighting as a Manipulation

Tactic: What It Is. Who Does It, And Why

(November 8, 2011).

https://counsellingresource.com/features/2

011/11/08/gaslighting/

10. Sarkis SA. 11 Warning Signs of

Gaslighting (January 22, 2017). Retrieved

from

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog

/here-there-and-everywhere/201701/11-

warning-signs-gaslighting

Full Texts Book 582 10.03.2022

Conference Paper

Full-text available

May 2022

Arshi Naim

Psychometric development and validation of victim gaslighting questionnaire (VGQ): across female sample from Pakistan

Article

Full-text available

Dec 2021

Purpose Gaslighting a form of abusive manipulation both emotional and psychological is a growing phenomenon in recent times. However, as of yet, there is a scarcity of a valid and reliable instrument which can measure the severity of gaslighting in victims of interpersonal relationships abuse. The purpose of this study is the development of an instrument which can effectively measure gaslighting in victims and is psychometrically reliable and valid. Design/methodology/approach Since the aim of the study was the development of a scale first a sample of eight women who were victims of domestic abuse was taken for the focus group. Afterwards using purposive sampling a sample of 20 women for the pilot study and a sample of 150 women for the main study was taken with age range 18–40 (M = 23.38, S.D = 4.03). For the development of scale theoretical basis along with a focus group was conducted to establish an item pool. Afterwards, subject matter experts helped in establishing contend validity followed by Velicer’s minimum average partial (MAP) method and maximum likelihood factor analysis (FA) was performed for the establishment of the factorial structure of the instrument. Findings Velicer’s MAP method and Maximum Likelihood FA suggested two factor structures including peer disagreement and loss of self-trust. Instrument displayed high alpha reliability of α = 0.934, with α = 0.927 and α = 0.854, for the subscale, respectively. Research limitations/implications Though all necessary steps were taken to minimize the limitations of the present study, however, some limitations do exist which needs to be addressed. The foremost limitation of the present scale is that it is being developed with only a female sample, however, the inclusion of a male sample in future studies can help in identifying whether men also are victims of gaslighting from peers and other family members or not. The second limitation is of validity though necessary validities have been established future studies should study on establishing further validities to further refine the instrument. Additionally, the scale has only been validated and tested on female samples future studies should be conducted on other specific groups or samples to develop norms. Moreover, testing the scale on other cultures could also help in establishing cross cultural validation of the instrument. Finally, though the scale assumes a higher level of scores suggests a higher level of victimization, a proper cutoff score can help in further identifying proper victims from the normal level of gaslighting. Practical implications The present instrument has its applicability in several domains the most important being in the criminal justice system as gaslighting comes under gaslighting and even in the UK is considered as a criminal offense. This instrument can help in determining the severity of gaslighting in victims. Likewise, it can be used in clinical settings for psychologists to identify possible cases of gaslighting victims which can enable them to provide specific help and treatment for them. Moreover, researchers can also benefit from the instrument as it can enable them to explore gaslighting with other possible variables which can help them explore the concept of gaslighting even further. Originality/value This paper is a novel study and has been completed with the purpose of evaluating the effects of gaslighting in victims of interpersonal relationships abuse as the earlier measures are either not psychometrically valid or cannot be generalized to a wider population. The present established scale is an effort to construct an instrument that can be used worldwide.

Unwritten Scars: Gaslighting in Relationships

Article

Oct 2021

Licia Kurniawan

Gaslighting is a modern term that describes a type of toxic relationship that psychologically abuses the victim. Gaslighting is understood as manipulating the victim into questioning his sanity and the gaslighter has a goal to create a ‘surreal’ environment that will cause the victim to feel like he is in the wrong and is crazy. Since gaslighting is all about manipulation, it can cause mental disorders. In the theoretical framework, we will apply the concept of gaslighting and self-actualization to show the effects of gaslighting and the ways to cope with it. In this work, we explore how gaslighting can cause anxiety, depression and low self-esteem in the victims. We show that the victims of gaslighting can deal with it by fulfilling physiological needs and building herself up again by the help of friends and families.Keywords: gaslighting, toxic relationship, poetry, lyrical poem

Identifikasi korban kekerasan gaslighting pada remaja putri

Article

Full-text available

Oct 2022

Tujuan dari penelitian ini adalah untuk mengetahui pola perilaku awal dalam gaslighting dan dampak yang terjadi pada korban gaslighting pada individu dalam masa perkembangan mereka. Pedekatan penelitian ini menggunakan metode studi kasus. Pengumpulan data yang dilakukan adalah wawancara, observasi dan studi dokumentasi. Hasil penelitian ada 5 pola gaslighting yaitu a) pelaku memberi respon yang berlebihan dan berani memberikan pengorbanan kepada pasangannya diawal menjalin hubungan, b) pelaku sering memuji secara berlebihan dan berusaha menampakkan kesempurnaan di depan orang lain, c) sifat dominan, pelaku akan mendominasi dalam hubungan seperti mengoreksi penampilan pasangan, perkataan atau perilaku pasangan yang dirasa kurang cocok bagi dirinya d) apabila gaslightee melawan, gaslighter akan melakukan playing victim kepada gaslightee, e)besar kemungkinan berlanjut pada kekerasan lainnya seperti kekerasan fisik, kekerasan verbal, bahkan kekerasan seksual.

On the double whammy and gaslighting

Article

Jan 1994

Theo. L. Dorpat

Uses illustrations taken from everyday life and the psychotherapy situation to describe the double whammy (DW), a type of gaslighting. In gaslighting, 1 individual by projective identification attempts to cause another individual to doubt his/her own judgments and perceptions. The basic pattern of the DW includes a verbal attack on the victim; the victim's response; and a gaslighting intervention in which the victimizer attacks the victim's judgments, perception, or reality-testing. A major and probably universal motive for the DW is the victimizer's need to regulate his/her feeling states by controlling interactions with other individuals. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)

The Sociopath Next Door

Jan 2014
94-95

M Stout

Stout M. The Sociopath Next Door. Random House Digital, 2014:94-95.

Crimes of Punishment: America´s Culture of Violence

Jan 2007
118-130

T L Dorpat

Dorpat TL. Crimes of Punishment: America´s Culture of Violence. Algora Publishing, 2007:118-130.

The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond

Jan 1996

P Evans

Evans P. The Verbally Abusive Relationship: How to Recognize it and How to Respond. Holbrook, Mass: Adams Media Corporation, 1996.

Are You Being Gaslighted By the Narcissist in Your Life? Psychology Today

Sep 2017

E Greenberg

Greenberg E. Are You Being Gaslighted By the Narcissist in Your Life? Psychology Today. Sussex Publisher (September 17, 2017). Retrieved from https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog /understanding-narcissism/201709/areyou-being-gaslighted-the-narcissist-in-

Dialogues of doubt: The psychology of self-doubt and emotional gaslighting in adult women and men

Jan 1997

K E Portnow

Portnow KE. Dialogues of doubt: The psychology of self-doubt and emotional gaslighting in adult women and men (1997). Retrieved from https://elibrary.ru/item.asp?id=5572602

Gaslighting at work-when you think you are going crazy

Jul 2016

S Young

Young S. Gaslighting at work-when you think you are going crazy (July 22, 2016).

Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is. Who Does It, And Why

Nov 2011

G Simon

Simon G. Gaslighting as a Manipulation Tactic: What It Is. Who Does It, And Why (November 8, 2011).

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