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Can You Get the Magic Back? The Moderating Effect of Passion Decay Beliefs on Relationship Commitment
Abstract
The present research introduces the construct of a decay theory of passion—a lay belief that romantic passion decline is irreversible—and investigates how this construct interacts with existing levels of passion for one’s romantic partner to predict lower relationship commitment and greater pursuit of romantic alternatives. Across three studies employing experimental and nonexperimental procedures—and a set of meta-analytic syntheses including additional studies—results generally supported the hypotheses that, although low passion is linked to lower commitment and greater pursuit of romantic alternatives, such effects are stronger when adherence to decay beliefs is high rather than low. These effects tended to be independent of effects of destiny and growth theories (Knee, 1998), a related set of lay theories in the domain of relationships. Mediated moderation analyses revealed that the moderating effect of decay theories on relationship commitment mediates the moderating effect of decay theories on the link between low passion and the pursuit of romantic alternatives. Discussion addresses the possibility that changing one’s beliefs surrounding the nature of romantic passion may be an important, but previously overlooked, means for preventing one from prematurely abandoning an otherwise satisfying relationship.
... For example, people might differ in the extent to which they believe that relationships can grow and change (Canevello & Crocker, 2011;Cobb et al., 2013), that passion decay is inevitable in relationships (Carswell & Finkel, 2018), that soulmates exist (Franiuk et al., 2012), that disagreement between partners is an indication that there is something wrong in the relationship (Cramer, 2004;Zagefka & Bahul, 2021), and people might also differ in their marriage ideals (Lam et al., 2016). ...
This paper tested mechanisms that explain why and how relationship quality between parents might impact on later romantic relationship quality of adult children. In both the pilot (N = 119) and the main (N = 684) study, a model fit the data well whereby perceived “parental relationship quality” predicted “positive lay theories” about romantic love. This, in turn, predicted “secure attachment” to the romantic partner, which in turn predicted “relationship satisfaction” with the romantic relationship. Findings suggest that lay theories about finding enduring love are an important mediator of effects of parental relationships on later adult relationships.
... A number of lay beliefs about romantic relationships have previously been studied. These romance-relevant beliefs include ideas such as disagreement in relationships is destructive, mindreading is expected, the couple should be sexually perfect, sexes are different, partners cannot change (Eidelson & Epstein, 1982), partners are either meant for each other or not (Knee, 1998), and love finds a way (Sprecher & Metts, 1989; for further lay beliefs, see Carswell & Finkel, 2018;Cramer, 2004;Crocker et al., 2017;Franiuk et al., 2012). ...
This paper tested why people differ with regard to whether they believe it is possible to find enduring love. Variations were assumed to be due to differences in people's experiences. Those who experienced dysfunction in their family of origin and who did not have positive relationships role-modelled to them were expected to be less likely to have positive lay beliefs about romantic relationships. Positive lay beliefs, in turn, were hypothesised to impact on dysfunction in own romantic relationships later on in life, which were in turn expected to affect relationship satisfaction. In other words, positive lay beliefs were tested as one potential mechanism through which family dysfunction whilst growing up impacts on relationship dysfunc-tion in later adult life. This paper presents a pilot study (N = 176) which introduces a measure for 'positive lay beliefs about romantic relationships', and finds this measure to be associated, as expected, with dysfunction in the family of origin. The main study (N = 435) then tested the full hypothesised model (family-of-origin dysfunction → positive lay beliefs → romantic relationship dysfunction → relationship satisfaction) with structural equation modelling, and found that the model fitted the data very well, confirming the hypotheses. It was concluded that lay beliefs about whether or not it is possible to find enduring love are an important mediator of the effects of family-of-origin dysfunction on later romantic relationship satisfaction.
... Consistent with research on general relationship outcomes, if people high in sexual destiny beliefs experience a sexual disagreement with their partner, they will be more inclined to disengage from their relationship and report more frustrating, disappointing sex as a result (Carswell & Finkel, 2018;Knee, 1998;Maxwell et al., 2017). As such, endorsing sexual destiny beliefs might be particularly detrimental in the context of couples coping with women's distressing low desire (compared to other couples coping with natural declines or brief bouts of low desire): these beliefs might exacerbate the couple's sexual incompatibilities (and low sexual satisfaction) and ultimately lead them to end their relationship (Witting et al., 2008). ...
People's beliefs about how to maintain sexual satisfaction have been associated with how they navigate sexual differences, but research has yet to explore the consequences of these beliefs for couples facing a distressing sexual issue. The current research extends past work on sexual growth beliefs (i.e., the view that sexual satisfaction requires continuous effort to maintain) and sexual destiny beliefs (i.e., the view that sexual satisfaction is the result of natural sexual compatibility with a partner) to couples for whom these beliefs might be especially consequential - those coping with sexual dysfunction. In a dyadic longitudinal study of 97 couples coping with women's clinically significant low desire and arousal, we tested how sexual growth and destiny beliefs are associated with sexual, relationship, and personal well-being. We found that endorsing greater sexual growth beliefs was associated with higher sexual desire for both partners, whereas, with some exceptions, endorsing greater sexual destiny beliefs was linked to lower sexual desire and relationship satisfaction, more conflict, and more depressive and anxious symptoms. However, these effects did not persist one year later. Our findings highlight the implications of sexual growth and destiny beliefs for both couple members when navigating a chronic sexual difficulty.
... 1.2 | Sexual beliefs 1.2.1 | Sexual destiny and growth beliefs Sexual destiny and growth beliefs were conceptualized by Maxwell et al. (2017) to explain implicit beliefs for maintaining sexual relationships. It is important to note that, in contrast to other implicit theories related to sexuality (e.g., passion, attraction, and desire; Bohns et al., 2015;B} othe et al., 2017;Carswell & Finkel, 2018;Sutherland & Rehman, 2018), sexual destiny and growth beliefs are viewed as two separate dimensions, and not as opposite ends of a singular dimension (Maxwell et al., 2017). Sexual destiny beliefs are characterized by individuals believing that sexual relationships are easy and satisfying if they are with the "right" person; sexual growth beliefs are when individuals believe that sexual relationships require diligence and effort to maintain (Maxwell et al., 2017). ...
Beliefs that individuals bring into their relationships about sexuality can influence sexual passion. In the first study to comprehensively analyze this association, we assessed how sexual destiny and growth beliefs and sexual sanctification influenced harmonious, obsessive, and inhibited passion. Data were collected from a national sample of couples (N = 482 dyads). Utilizing actor/partner interdependence model, we found that men and women's sexual growth beliefs and sexual sanctification predicted their own and their partner's harmonious sexual passion. Men and women's sexual sanctification had a strong association with their own levels of obsessive passion. Sexual destiny beliefs of men and women predicted their own levels of obsessive passion.
... It has been claimed that partners do not invest in a relationship which is not treated as stable (Owen, Rhoades, Stanley, & Markman, 2011). Furthermore, individuals who hold decay theories of passion may be less likely to put effort into maintaining a passionate relationship, leading to lower commitment (Carswell & Finkel, 2018). ...
Background
Western studies indicate the significance of commitment in close emotional relationships. Interpersonal com-mitment is regarded as a process which is indispensable for building and strengthening close relationships, and is associated with the continuation of relationships between happy or unhappy partners. With this in mind, interpersonal commitment is an important topic for analysis. A theory by Stanley and Markman served as the inspiration for conducting studies on the commitment of partners in permanent relationships in Poland.
Participants and procedure
The results for 260 couples (160 marriages and 100 cohabiting couples) were finally submitted for analysis. All the participants (N = 520) were aged from 19 to 68 (M = 33.01, SD = 11.16). The mean ages of the participants were 31.98 years (SD = 10.95) for women and 34.03 years (SD = 11.30) for men. The Interpersonal Commit-ment Questionnaire (KZI) was used to analyse the perception of the relationships; this is the Polish version of the Commitment Inventory by Stanley and Markman.
Results
The present findings indicate that marriages tend to portend better than cohabitations. The permanence of mar-riage is based on dedication, reflecting the significance of the relationship, and constraint commitment, which regards concern for the partner’s well-being. The latter may hinder partners, especially men, from leaving the relationship.
Conclusions
Studies conducted in Poland tend to produce very similar results to those performed in the US concerning the level of commitment by partners in cohabiting relationships. It may be concluded that the type of commitment is specified more closely by the form of the relationship rather than the socio-cultural conditions in which the cou-ples live.
Objective
The objective of the study is to examine the efficacy of relationship investment tactics in improving relationship satisfaction.
Background
Physical and mental health are affected by the quality of the couple relationship. Accordingly, bolstering the couple relationship and enhancing relationship satisfaction is of crucial importance for both partners' well‐being. Using relationship investment tactics may represent a behavioral solution for elevating the quality of the couple bond as well as their satisfaction from their relationship.
Method
A cross‐sectional research design was adopted. The associations between demographic characteristics, relationship investment tactics, and relationship satisfaction were tested using a path analysis.
Results
Employing tactics of emotional gestures, material and instrumental gestures, giving space, and shared activities were found to be positively associated with relationship satisfaction. Using tactics of sex and self‐beautification and helping the partner's family and friends did not entail heightened satisfaction.
Conclusion
Relationships can be improved and transformed by employing relationship investment tactics described in this research report.
Implications
The results indicate that behavioral tactics and patterns, which are easy, simple, and usually free, may be employed to enhance relationship satisfaction. Couple therapists may consider advising clients as to how to prevent relationship decline and helping clients when encountering relationship difficulties by employing these relationship investment tactics.
Two types of sexual beliefs, growth and destiny, have been found in past research to be differentially associated with sexual and relationship outcomes; however, past research has not explored these beliefs with dyadic data nor considered common intervening variables that might be pathways through which beliefs influence outcomes. Consequently, using the sexual wholeness model, we analyzed how couples' specific sexual beliefs (growth and destiny) influenced their sexual mindfulness, communication, and functioning within their couple relationships and how each of these variables influenced sexual satisfaction and harmonious sexual passion. Using a national sample of dyadic data from 964 sexually active individuals (482 heterosexual couples) who had been in a committed relationship for at least 2 years, we evaluated an actor/partner structural equation model with distinguishable dyads. We found that while sexual growth and destiny beliefs had a significant association with sexual mindfulness, communication, and functioning for both partners, sexual beliefs had no direct association with sexual satisfaction and harmonious sexual passion. Because growth beliefs had strong associations with sexual communication, it may be beneficial to help couples identify their implicit beliefs and encourage the development of sexual growth beliefs.
Long-distance romantic relationships (LDRRs) have grown increasingly common due to career-related necessity and the proliferation of digital technologies. We sought to understand how LDRRs differed from individuals in cohabitating romantic relationships (CRRs) during the COVID-19 pandemic. Using a multinational, six-wave dataset collected during the beginning of the pandemic (Nobservations = 2,954), we hypothesized an interaction whereby spending more time with one’s partner than was typical would lead to increased passion and decreased conflict for LDRRs, but decreased passion and increased conflict for CRRs. However, we found, regardless of relationship type, spending more time with one’s partner led to better outcomes. Nevertheless, LDRRs reported less conflict and more passion than those in CRRs. These associations remained consistent across case-control matched models and models adjusting for theoretically-relevant covariates. While LDRRs navigate periods of uncertainty better than CRRs, spending more time with one’s partner, irrespective of the arrangement, is ultimately beneficial.
There are massive literatures on initial attraction and established relationships. But few studies capture early relationship development: the interstitial period in which people experience rising and falling romantic interest for partners who could—but often do not—become sexual or dating partners. In this study, 208 single participants reported on 1,065 potential romantic partners across 7,179 data points over 7 months. In stage 1, we used random forests (a type of machine learning) to estimate how well different classes of variables (e.g., individual differences vs. target-specific constructs) predicted participants’ romantic interest in these potential partners. We also tested (and found only modest support for) the perceiver × target moderation account of compatibility: the meta-theoretical perspective that some types of perceivers experience greater romantic interest for some types of targets. In stage 2, we used multilevel modeling to depict predictors retained by the random-forests models; robust (positive) main effects emerged for many variables, including sociosexuality, sex drive, perceptions of the partner’s positive attributes (e.g., attractive and exciting), attachment features (e.g., proximity seeking), and perceived interest. Finally, we found no support for ideal partner preference-matching effects on romantic interest. The discussion highlights the need for new models to explain the origin of romantic compatibility.
The growing trend of introducing robots into employees’ work lives has become increasingly salient during the global COVID‐19 pandemic. In light of this pandemic, it is likely that organizational decision‐makers are seeing value in coupling employees with robots for both efficiency‐ and health‐related reasons. An unintended consequence of this coupling, however, may be an increased level of work routinization and standardization. We draw primarily from the model of passion decay from the relationship and clinical psychology literature to develop theory and test a model arguing that passion decays as employees increasingly interact with robots for their work activities. We demonstrate that this passion decay leads to an increase of withdrawal behavior from both the domains of work and family. Drawing further from the model of passion decay, we reveal that employees higher in openness to experience are less likely to suffer from passion decay upon more frequent interactions with robots in the course of work. Across a multi‐source, multi‐wave field study conducted in Hong Kong (Study 1) and a simulation‐based experiment conducted in the United States (Study 2), our hypotheses received support. Theoretical and practical implications are discussed.
When my husband and I were dating, I told him that love was like a watercolor painting. “Once it's ruined,” I said, “you can't fix it.” I explained that one wrong stroke in a watercolor was tragic because, when applying pigment to white paper, you can't lighten what's already dark. “And that's how relationships work,” I said. But Jason was skeptical. Why wasn't love, he wondered, more like an oil painting? Why can't you rework a section of your relationship that isn't turning out so well, layering on the paint as thickly as needed, to make it more beautiful?
In an integrative review, we examine four theories and models of romantic passion to determine what causes feelings of romantic passion. Although a growing consensus has emerged for the definition of romantic passion, we suggest that this is largely not the case for the source of romantic passion. We outline how four different perspectives—Limerence Theory, the Rate of Change in Intimacy Model, the Self‐Expansion Model, and the Triangular Theory of Love—propose four different potential sources of romantic passion and review empirical support in favor and against each. For each of these perspectives, we additionally outline the predicted trajectory of passion that follows from each theorized source of passion, as well as each perspective's view on the ability for passion to be controlled and up‐regulated. In identifying ways in which these theories and models offer conflicting predictions about the source of romantic passion, this review points to ways in which a more comprehensive model may be developed that integrates across these four perspectives.
Romantic passion represents one of the most fragile and elusive elements of relationship quality but one that is increasingly valued and tied to relationship and individual well-being. We provide the first examination of whether experiencing personal self-expansion-positive self-change and personal growth without a romantic partner-is a critical predictor of passion. Previous research has almost exclusively examined the consequences of couples' sharing novel experiences (i.e., relational self-expansion) on romantic relationships. Instead, the consequences of personal self-expansion for romantic relationships remain largely unexamined even though most positive self-growth may occur without a romantic partner (e.g., at work). We investigated the consequences of personal self-expansion for passion in three studies including two 21-day experience sampling studies of community couples and a study in a context likely to elicit heightened personal self-expansion: during job relocation. Within-person increases in daily personal self-expansion were associated with greater passion through greater positive emotions (Studies 1 and 2). In contrast, high between-person levels of personal self-expansion were associated with lower passion through lower levels of intimacy, suggesting that individuals may drift apart from their partners with more chronic personal self-expansion (Studies 1, 2, and 3). That is, consistently growing outside of the relationship in ways that are not shared with a romantic partner may reduce feelings of closeness and connection, and ultimately passion. Results also suggest that chronic personal self-expansion may be a double-edged sword for individual well-being, simultaneously associated with lower passion, but greater fulfillment of competence needs. Results controlled for relational self-expansion and time together. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2021 APA, all rights reserved).
This research introduces the construct of couple identity clarity—the extent to which an individual, as one of two partners in a romantic relationship, believes that the two of them know who they are as a couple. Cross-sectional (Studies 1–2), experimental (Study 3), and longitudinal (Study 4) studies supported the hypothesis that couple identity clarity is associated with higher commitment. Moreover, higher couple identity clarity, although related to actual agreement between partners on their identity as a couple, predicted commitment above and beyond agreement (Study 2)—as well as predicted reduced likelihood of relationship dissolution over a 9-month period (Study 4). Exploratory analyses revealed that successful conflict resolution may enhance couple identity clarity, in turn predicting commitment (Study 4). These studies highlight the importance of people’s understanding of who they are as a couple and how this understanding shapes relationship persistence.
An ordered assessment is important in couple therapy where tensions may be high as each partner ensures that the couple therapist understands his or her point of view. Drawing on the literature related to couple therapy, a six-level assessment pyramid is proposed consisting of behavior, emotion, meaning, beliefs, affect, and self. The pyramid has four faces, each of which is linked to the literature on reasons for couple dissatisfaction and divorce. These four faces or themes around which the process is focused are love, intimacy, sex, and power. The pyramid relates to basic common couple complaints but may require additional expert knowledge for complex multiproblem cases. Although the pyramid may be used for an integrative couple therapy approach, therapists do not need to integrate all six levels in their assessment. The pyramid is useful for individual therapists who would like to work with couples, as well as therapists who also have some familiarity with one or more couple therapy approaches who wish to incorporate other models. A case study is presented to illustrate a couple assessment.
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