Reduce conflicts in traditional merariq traditions through the long tradition of the tribal people of sasak lombok

Abstract

Marriage is a container for framing the inner-to-heart relationship, the bond of love and affection between a man and woman to nurture a joy of happiness. This study aims to find out how the process and stages in traditional merariq traditions in the Sasak people, conflicts arising from merariq traditions, and reduce conflict through the tradition of selabar. The method used in this research is qualitative analysis method. In the process, merariq tradition is done by kidnapping the bride without the knowledge of the parents or the family of the women. There are several stages that must be passed by the bride and groom in the tradition merariq, namely: besejati, nyelabar, bait wali, sorong serah dan nyongkolang. Conflict that often arises, for internal family, merariq often become a place of coercion against the female family. For society, merariq impact on disruption of harmony of social life. In order to reduce the conflicts done selabar tradition, the tragedy is regarded as an alternative problem solving in the form of negotiations between the bride and groom's family and the bride-to-be relating to ajikrame and pisuke transactions.

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Reduce conflicts in traditional merariq traditions through the long
tradition of the tribal people of sasak lombok
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The 2nd International Joint Conference on Science and Technology (IJCST) 2017 IOP Publishing
IOP Conf. Series: Journal of Physics: Conf. Series 953 (2017) 012186 doi :10.1088/1742-6596/953/1/012186
Reduce conflicts in traditional merariq traditions through the
long tradition of the tribal people of sasak lombok
Sarmini1*, Ulin Nadiroh2 and Muhammad Saeun Fahmi3
1 Department of Pancasila and Citizenship Education, Faculty of Social Sciences and
Law, Universitas Negeri Surabaya, Ketintang, Surabaya 60231, Indonesia
2 Departement of Social Studies, Universitas Negeri Surabaya, Ketintang, Surabaya
60231, Indonesia
3 SMP Negeri 1 Praya Timur, Kab. Lombok Tengah, 83581, Indonesia
*E-mail: sarmini@unesa.ac.id
Abstract. Marriage is a container for framing the inner-to-heart relationship, the bond of love
and affection between a man and woman to nurture a joy of happiness. This study aims to find
out how the process and stages in traditional merariq traditions in the Sasak people, conflicts
arising from merariq traditions, and reduce conflict through the tradition of selabar. The
method used in this research is qualitative analysis method. In the process, merariq tradition is
done by kidnapping the bride without the knowledge of the parents or the family of the women.
There are several stages that must be passed by the bride and groom in the tradition merariq,
namely: besejati, nyelabar, bait wali, sorong serah dan nyongkolang. Conflict that often arises,
for internal family, merariq often become a place of coercion against the female family. For
society, merariq impact on disruption of harmony of social life. In order to reduce the conflicts
done selabar tradition, the tragedy is regarded as an alternative problem solving in the form of
negotiations between the bride and groom's family and the bride-to-be relating to ajikrame and
pisuke transactions.
1. Introduction
Indonesia consists of many islands and tribes that have various forms of culture. Many rituals and
traditions are carried out as a form of cultural preservation. One is culture in terms of marriage rituals.
Every society in the world has a marriage tradition in accordance with the context of the community.
In Java for example who started marriage by applying or kinanthi. Marriage is a sacred ceremony
performed by a man from generation to generation to continue the life and continue the offspring.
Marriage is closely related to cultural values. Every tribe and nation has different ways and
processions in terms of marriage. Different from the Javanese people, the Sasak Lombok people
started marriage by kidnapping the woman from her house (mirariq). Sasak tribe society is ethnic
native of Lombok island. The area of Lombok is like a "social laboratory" that provides many stories,
evokes intellectual curiosity of many observers, and is endless to explore and to be educated.
Langko Village, Janapria District, Central Lombok Regency is one of the villages in Lombok
Island, which until now still maintain the culture and customs of Sasak people. The whole community
of Langko village still apply a unique tradition in terms of a still-strong marriage that is merariq or
eloping. This tradition is one of the most popular cultures for the sasak people who need local wisdom
for local people.

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Various studies have been conducted related to marriage in communities in various places, among
others: studies that examine the migration of marriage [1–4]. From the transition aspect of marriage
there is research about choosing between marriage and school [5]. Similar research on the transition to
marriage in Jakarta is greater the influence of parents or their own choice [6]. Another study on
marriage is seen from a Gender perspective, namely the existence of an interactive effect research of
female ideology [7], marriage effect for noble women in tudor era [8], goodness in marriage from the
aspect of gender [9], Male power over women [10]. From the aspect of Characteristics and satisfaction
of marriage [11]. Heterogeneity in contemporary marriage [12].
Other researchers focused their writing in terms of marriage age, namely: early marriage
experience [13], married proportions and marriage age [14], early marriage is ngetrend in turki [15],
wedding age preference [16], prussia and sex differences between marital quality and risk [17]. The
concept of a happy marriage in the early nineteenth century [18]. Privatization of marriage in an era of
socialist post [19]. The history of demography in people who are late married [20].
Research on marriage as a culture has been widely practiced, among other things, the
transformation of the dowry from the bride to the man [21], forced marriage: whether a religious,
cultural, economic or criminal crime [22], new cross-cultural views on marriage transactions [23],
forms of marriage cultural feminism [24], sociological and historical culture of marriage [25], the
social consequences of marriage [26], tradition of religious marriage and law [27], changes in the
culture of marriage [28].
There are two prominent views related to the history of the emergence of merariq, namely: First,
the originality of elopement. Merariq is considered a culture of local products and is a genuine custom
of the ancestors of the Sasak community that had been practiced by the people before the arrival of
colonial Bali and the Dutch colonial. This view is reinforced by Nieuwenhuyzen's opinion that many
Sasak customs have similarities with Balinese customs, but merariq tradition is a true Sasak custom.
Second, merariq tradition is considered as acculturation of Balinese culture. According to
Bartholomew [29] the practice of eloping is borrowed from Balinese culture. Furthermore,
Bartholomew explains the historical anthropological analysis by Clifford Geertz in his book Internal
Convention in Bali (1973), Hildred Geertz in An Anthropology of Religion and Magic (1975), and
James Boon in his book The Anthropological Romance of Bali (1977) acculturation of Balinese and
Lombok cultures in the merariq tradition [29].
Based on the two arguments about the history of merariq above, in this case the authors hold that
the acculturation of merariq tradition has a higher level of accuracy. In the Sasak tribe is known the
existence of a social strata called triwangsa. This social stratum is clearly the same as the Hindu-
Balinese pattern. This merariq tradition is part of the culture. Culture and social life of Lombok people
can not be separated from the cultural dichotomy of the archipelago [30]. Merariq as a tradition
commonly applied to the Sasak tribe in Lombok has its own unique logic. For the Sasak community,
merariq means maintaining self-esteem and describing the virility of a Sasak man, for he succeeded in
taking (escaping) a woman of her heart.
Therefore, merariq traditions practiced by these people often lead to conflict between families. The
disapproval of one of the family because her daughter was taken away could lead to an open conflict
between them. To prevent the occurrence of conflicts over such events, custom is provided by
alternative means of problem solving through the implementation of negotiations or selabar between
the family of the bridegroom with the family of the bride with respect to their wishes and wishes to
marry. Selabar has the intention to inform the family of the bride who is followed up with the talk of
her custom in the form of Pisuke amount of money or goods which is given voluntarily from the side
of the man to the female family for the cost of doing the fun on the bride's side, even sometimes this
event is coupled with a guardian request at once.
The acceptance of the tradition of pulling as a way of marriage of this society is inseparable from
the kinship system adopted by the people of this nation who embrace patriarchal system. According to
Parsons, the male patriarchal system acts as the Chairman of The Board (instrumental leader)
responsible for the maintenance of his family and because the woman considers the man as the leader

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in his family, so that in the male- male (husband) has a higher honor and is very decisive in taking a
family decision.
In this study the authors want to discuss marriage from the point of view of local culture that
occurred in the village of Langko, Central Lombok regency, Indonesia is merariq tradition. This
research is focused on three things, namely: first stage and process of merariq tradition in tribal
society sasak, both function or philosophical meaning what is contained in practice merariq at society
of tribe sasak, third process of regeneration of ritual merariq society of sasak.
2. Method
This research uses qualitative method with case study approach [31]. Case study as the approach used
to study, explain and interpret a case in its natural context without any outside intervention. Yin
further said, as a research effort, case studies can add value to the unique knowledge about various
phenomena [31]. This paper will be focused in Langko Village, Kec. Janapria, Kab. Central Lombok.
The data collection technique is done by mengiventarisasi various materials related to research studies
through journals, articles, books, sources from the internet and interviews. Primary data were obtained
directly from religious leaders and community leaders, while secondary data from documents and
records related to this study. Data analysis method used is qualitative analysis method with the
following stages: data reduction, data presentation, and draw conclusions [32].
3. Results and discussions
In the past, drawing refers to the early process of marriage that is by bringing a running bride to be
married. Today the word drawing is more often understood as the marriage itself. To distinguish
between the two, in this paper it will be interpreted to mean the extent of the whole system of
traditional marriage Sasak, while elopement will be used to show the meaning of carrying a run or
kidnap girl to marry.
3.1. The process and stages are fascinating according to Lombok's cultural outlook
The process of merariq is done by kidnapping a woman from her home without the
knowledge of her parents or her family. One or two days later one of the men's family will be
sent to inform the family of the woman that her child has been rushed by the groom to marry.
The stage or series of customs that must be carried out by both the bride and his family in the
tradition of merariq are as follows. 1) Midang, is a visit of male to female house at step process
approach (ngapel). 2) merariq, the process of abducting the woman from the power of her parents.
After being kidnapped, the woman is entrusted or hidden, usually at the man's relative's home. 3)
Besejati, interpreted as the party of men sent some local community leaders or traditional leaders to
report to kliang (head of the hamlet) to inform about the marriage about the identity of the bridegroom
and then to report to the female family. 4) Nyelabar, containing the intention to notify the family of
the bride followed by the conversation of custom in the form of pisuke in the form of money or goods
given voluntarily by the groom to the family of the bride. Pisuke is a sum of money or goods that is
voluntarily given from the side of the men to the female family for the cost of implementing the
gratitude on the bride's side. Usually this selabar event drangkaikan with bait wali (Take Guardian). 5)
Bait Wali is taking the guardian of the bride family can be directly at the time nyelabar or can a few
days after nyelabar, this depends on the agreement kedau sides. Furthermore, the marriage contract
between the bride and groom is determined by the ability of the guardian. 6) Srong Serah, the core of
the implementation of this srong deliver is the official announcement of the wedding ceremony
between the bridegroom and the bride. 6) Nyongkolan, the bridegroom and the bride and his family
visited the home of parents and families of the bride by using traditional clothing accompanied by
drum beleq (gendang beleq), kecimol or gamelan.

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3.2. The function or meaning embodied in the Merariq tradition
There is a philosophical meaning embodied in the tradition of merariq practiced by this society, ie
from the perspective of men, women, parents and society.
3.2.1. Men’s Perspective
One thing that can not be avoided from the practice merariq is a man will look very strong, mastered
and able to tame the psychological social of his future wife. merariq provides a strong legitimacy of
male superiority regardless of whether the marriage has been planned before or on the basis of likes or
unplanned.
Most sasak tribesmen have drawn to women he likes. In many cases, the men who marry when
they want to kidnap women do not immediately express their intentions but by persuading him to go
somewhere with a variety of reasons. Kidnapping of women is sometimes not done directly by the
prospective bridegroom but by sending some messengers, so the woman does not know who will
marry her.
In addition, some are married due to circumstances. There is a rule in the sasak society that when
unmarried men and women travel then back up at 10 pm, usually the man does not dare to take the
woman to his home. In this case men should be responsible for the woman by marrying her though
there is no feeling of love between them. Because it will be a disgrace among the people.
3.2.2. Women's perspective
If in a male perspective, merariq describes the superiority of men, then in the perspective of women
abducting marriage practices illustrate otherwise. In this position, women will appear very inferiority,
ie the powerlessness of women over all the actions they undergo. Merariq's glow contributes greatly to
the attitudes that arise from women in the form of a sense of resignation and even looks like enjoying
the atmosphere of inferiority.
Connecting with many men at the same time is commonplace for some unmarried sasak women.
This can happen because during the phase of midang, they will accept anyone who comes to visit their
home. The problem of who is closest to the heart of the woman is a very personal thing, so as long as
the woman is not married, every man may come to visit or ngapel.
Such circumstances eventually lead to competition among men who crave the same woman.
Because the feelings of fear the woman will be taken away by another man first, then secretly they
race to take the woman run. When the woman has been rushed and marriage has been executed, then
the opportunity for other men to expect the woman. In many cases, women who like men who have
married are willing to wait and no resistance has even been prepared to get their clothes taken during
the process of memaling (running).
But the pull also occurs in women who do not like the men who kidnapped him. There is a difficult
thing to be released from the practice of elopement, namely the use of magic or supernatural powers
when doing the escape action. Before the rush, the woman has been used first to facilitate the escape.
The woman in a certain period of time will be so in love with the man who kidnapped and eventually
married her. As the strength of the witchcraft begins to diminish, it begins to cause discrepancies and
disharmony in the home. This is what eventually became one of the causes of high divorce rates on the
island of Lombok.
3.2.3. Parent’s Perspective
There are two views that arise about merariq when viewed from the perspective of parents are: first,
the prestige of female families. merariq is believed to be a form of honor upon the dignity and dignity
of the female family. On the basis of this belief, a woman taken by a man is not regarded as a one-
sided violation, but this is regarded as the achievement of a female family. Parents feel that their
daughters have a certain privilege to attract men. There is an assumption that is deeply rooted in the
mental and mental structure of this society that by running means its daughter has a high economic
value, otherwise the female family will feel insulted if the marriage of her daughter is done by way of

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application. Second, the emergence of a sense of togetherness (egalitarian) in family of women. Not
only the father, mother, sister and sister of the woman, but all the relatives have a sense of sentiment to
join the merariq sustainability. Even togetherness involves a large community of people in the
neighborhood of the woman living. Concrete proof of the strongness of togetherness between family
and society component is by doing ritual menserah, bait wali and srongserah.
3.2.4. People's perspective
The occurrence of merariq almost always continues into the process of bargaining pisuke. Negotiable
process related to the magnitude of pisuke usually done in the bait wali event is very thick with the
nuances of business. Whatever the reason, considerations of the most powerful and dominant aspects
of the economy are in the ritual bait wali procession. There are strong indications that parents have
raised their daughters from childhood to adulthood. For all these businesses have spent a lot of money.
As a result the attitude of parents who want to expect the cost of raising the daughter is getting a
change from the prospective daughter-in-law. The higher the education level of the woman and the
higher the social level of the parents, the higher the bargaining power of the woman. Conversely, the
lower the educational and social levels of children and parents, the lower the economic value offered.
Commercialization of merariq rituals appears to be very strong and is always required to be
implemented if men and women are both from sasak tribe. If one of the prospective husbands or wives
comes from outside my sushi there is a tendency that the demands for commercialization are
somewhat weakened. This happens because there is a dialogue of civilization between customs,
culture and values held by this community with the values held by people outside this tribe.
3.3. Regeneration merariq
One of the normative doctrines contained in merariq rituals is the pride felt by the indivudu and the
female family which is marked by the desire that the daughter married by a man must go through the
process of diverting (memaling). Pride has a contribution to the existence of family in the community.
Regardless whether the turn will end with marriage or not, but the process of turning itself (memaling)
is already an important stage that is quite monumental in the order of the procession of marriage.
It is this social pride that then raises the image and social legitimacy that merariq is not a criminal
act in the cultural view of this society. Whereas in positive law there is a provision that fleeing other
people's children included in the category of major criminals who are in the criminal family abduction
and forcing one's will to another party and the elimination of independence that must be owned by
citizens.
Heroic or heroic attitudes is one of the reasons why this tradition of merariq is maintained as a
marriage culture in this society. According to this society, heroic attitude is absolutely necessary if you
want to foster a household with a prospective bride who has been in idam-idamkan. Today, the
growing view in the community is that elopement even though without the consent of parents is a
hereditary tradition that must be preserved.
4. Conclusion
In the process, merariq tradition is done by kidnapping the bride without the knowledge of the parents
or the family of the women. There are several stages that must be passed by the bride and groom in the
tradition merariq, namely: besejati, nyelabar, bait wali, sorong serah and nyongkolang. Conflict that
often arises, for internal family, merariq often become a place of coercion against the female family.
For society, merariq impact on disruption of harmony of social life. In order to reduce the conflicts,
the selabar is regarded as an alternative problem solving in the form of negotiations between the bride
and groom's family and the bride-to-be relating to ajikrame and pisuke transactions.

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Ucknowledgment
I thank many people of Langko Village, Janapria Sub-district, Central Lombok Regency who have
been willing to provide information and data needed in this research and my friends Unesa class
graduate Social Studies P2TK 2015 for its cooperation, moral assistance, suggestions and criticisms
that build.
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