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The International Journal of Indian Psychology
ISSN 2348-5396 (e) | ISSN: 2349-3429 (p)
Volume 3, Issue 1, No.6, DIP: C03101V3I12015
http://www.ijip.in | October – December, 2015
© 2015 I R Kochar, D Sharma; licensee IJIP. This is an Open Access Research distributed under the terms of the
Creative Commons Attribution License (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0), which permits unrestricted
use, distribution, and reproduction in any Medium, provided the original work is properly cited.
Role of Love in Relationship Satisfaction
Rahmat Kaur Kochar1, Dr. Daisy Sharma2*
ABSTRACT
Adolescent romantic relationships are marked by feelings, thoughts, or behaviors within a
relationship and have been found to be associated with intimacy, passion, commitment, sexual
attitudes, trust, dependence and communication. The present research is based on studying the
relationship between love and relationship satisfaction of adolescents. For this purpose,
Sternberg's Triangular Love Scale and Relationship Assessment Scale were administered on a
sample of 100 adolescents (age=18-22 years). Correlation was applied which showed that a
significant positive correlation exists between the types of love and relationship satisfaction. The
t-test revealed that no gender differences were found in their types of love and in their
relationship satisfaction. The thematic analysis done using a semi-structured interview revealed
that gender differences exist between intimacy and passion of adolescents.
Keywords: Romantic Relationships, Intimacy, Passion, Commitment, Relationship Satisfaction.
The presence of love is an imperative element of a successful relationship. Love is a
combination of emotions, cognitions, and behaviors that often plays a crucial role in intimate
romantic relationships. Researchers have always been interested in this topic and have widely
worked upon almost every aspect of an intimate love relationship. Various researchers have
defined love like Freud defined love as "the frustrated desire" (1922/1951), where as in 1924
Watson defined love as erogenous stimulation.
Theories of love:
Lee color wheel: In 1973, Lee proposed the Typology Love Theory which consists of six such
love styles, divided into the category of primary and secondary love styles. The primary love
style consists of: i) Eros (the passionate love); ii) Ludus (the game playing love); iii) Storage (the
friendship love). The secondary love style consists of: i) Mania (the possessive love),
combination of Eros and Ludus; ii) Agape (the selfless love), combination of Eros and Storge
(Lee, 1988); iii) Pragma (the realistic and practical love), is the combination of Storge and Ludus
(Lee, 1988).
Sternberg Triangular model of love: Robert J. Sternberg (1986) proposed the triangular model
of love which is composed of three elements i.e. Intimacy (top vertex of the triangle), Passion
1 Student, Panjab University
2 Assistant Professor, Keshav Mahavidyalaya, University of Delhi
*Corresponding Author
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(left vertex of the triangle) and Commitment (right vertex of the triangle). Two or more than two
of these components should be present in a relationship for it to last.
Figure a: Sternberg Triangular model of love
Relationship satisfaction is the best predictor of stability in the relationship (Horn et al., 1997).
Many psychologists have defined relationship satisfaction, Locke & Wallace, 1959 defined it as
‘‘adjustment’’, Honeycutt (1986) defined it as “functioning” and “well-being” (Acitelli, 1992)
and Rusbult et al., (1998, p.359) described relationship satisfaction as the “positive versus
negative affect experienced in a relationship and is influenced by the extent to which a partner
fulfils the individual’s most important needs” and it produces well being (Baumeister & Leary,
1995).
What factor leads to satisfaction is a relationship is a) one's commitment to the relationship; b)
ability to resolve the conflicts; c) positivity in the relationship. The criteria of satisfaction can
also be met when an individual's ideal state of relationships are in accordance to his/her actual
experiences. This expectation for an ideal state of relationship may be formed on the basis of the
past experiences and by observing the relationships of others (Guerrero, Anderson, & Afifi,
2011).Viewing the partner positively, according to Murray et al., (1996), possibly can be
accounted as a vital feature for gratifying close relationships.
All components of love were found to positively relate to satisfaction of adolescents' with their
romantic relationships (Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996) and also the time-span of the
relationship (Overbeek et al., 2007). A multiple regression statistical analysis was run which
found that the three components of love strongly predicted relationship satisfaction (Doreen,
2011).
1. Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction:
Sternberg (1986) described Intimacy as “feelings of closeness, connectedness, and bondedness in
loving relationships” (p. 119). According to Sternberg, intimacy is an “emotional investment in
the relationship” (Sternberg, 1986; p. 119). Sternberg & Grajek, (1984) found that intimacy
Role of Love in Relationship Satisfaction
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essentially refers to feelings of a) promoting the welfare of the other person; b) having high
consideration of the other person; c) experiencing joy; d) receiving and giving emotional
support; e) counting on the other person in times of requirement; f) having reciprocated
understanding with each other; g) value him/her; h) sharing deep personal information and
belongings; and i) able to communicate with each other.
Emotional intimacy was found to best predict relationship satisfaction out of physical, emotional
and verbal intimacy in gay relationships (Deenen, Gijs, & Naerssen, 1994). Similar results were
found in a study conducted on online relationships which found that trust, communication
satisfaction and intimacy to be the strongest predictors of Relationship Satisfaction. (Anderson et
al. 2006). Even in the married couples, it was found that tracking down of intimacy goals of the
individual and the spouse, was found to be associated with marital satisfaction (Sanderson &
Cantor, 2001). In married couples, support from the spouse and intimacy were found to be strong
predictors of marital satisfaction (Patrick, Sells, Giordano, & Tollerud, 2007).
2. Passion and Relationship Satisfaction:
The second component is Passion, by Sternberg (1986) was referred to as "romantic, and
physical components of a relationship". According to Sternberg (1997), p. 315, Passion may
include “self-esteem, succorance, nurturance, affiliation, dominance, submission, and self-
actualization”. It constitutes the motivational as well as other sources of excitement which lead
to the occurrence of Passion (Sternberg, 1986). The Passionate component is dominated by the
'sexual needs' as in a romantic relationship, and expression of needs is through psychological and
physiological arousal.
Sprecher (2002), found both males and females sexual satisfaction to positively correlate with
Relationship Satisfaction, Commitment and love . Sexual satisfaction was found to be associated
with Relationship Satisfaction in both men and women of 33-43 years of age (Santtila et al.,
2007). Passion declined in time only for females and intimacy was not found to display the
predicted decline in long relationships (Acker & Davis, 1992).
3. Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction:
The third component of the triangle is the Commitment or the decision, which was defined by
Sternberg (1986, p. 315) as “in the short-term, to the decision that one loves a certain other, and
in the long-term, to one’s Commitment to maintain that love”. By and large, it refers to one's
cognitive preference to be involved in a relationship and continue that relationship (Sternberg,
1986). Decision is the short-term aspect, which refers to one's decision or choice to love
someone, where as Commitment, the long term aspect refers to one's vow to uphold that love and
it slowly increase with time. These components are independent of each other.
Commitment is a crucial element in the development and maintain firmness of romantic
relationships (Adams & Jones, 1999) and affects ones level of evaluating his/her relationship as
Role of Love in Relationship Satisfaction
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positive, in happy spirits and being more contended with it, as found by researchers like Acker &
Davis, 1992. It promotes behaviors that help in the maintenance of the relationship like
sacrificing for the relationship, being extra involved in the relationship (Rusbult & Buunk, 1993).
Multiple triangles of love, which varies in terms of their size and shape, according to Sternberg
(1986, 1997) can exist in a relationship which could represent the present state of love in the
existing relationship, while another triangle could signify the preferred and idealized state of
love. These three components interact and form the building blocks of other kinds of
relationships which are : a) Non love (absence of Intimacy, Passion and Commitment); b) Liking
(presence of Intimacy only); c) Infatuated love (Passion without Commitment) i.e. "Love at first
sight"; d) Empty love (decision/Commitment and absence of Intimacy and Passion); e) Romantic
love (Intimacy and Passion without decision/Commitment); f) Companionate love (Intimacy and
decision/Commitment without Passion); g) Fatuous love (Passion and decision/Commitment
without Intimacy) and; h) Consummate love (balance of Intimacy, Passion and Commitment).
Gender differences:
Conception of love differs not only across different age groups, but also among males and
females. Before getting involved in the romantic relationships, adolescents time is spent with the
same-sex peers (Rose & Rudolph, 2006) which further reinforces differing perceptions and roles
of boys and girls in their romantic relationships (Maccoby, 1998). As a result, girls focus more
on the intimacy where as boys focused on sexuality and nonverbal and indirect expressions of
intimacy and less on self-disclosure (Underwood & Rosen, 2009; Connolly et al., 1999).
The gender roles have shifted which is in line with studies of researchers like Connolly et al.,
(1999); Ha et al., (2010); Levesque, (1993); Shulman & Scharf, (2000) which reported absence
of gender differences in passion among adolescents and adults (Falconi & Mullet, 2003; Gao,
2001; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986). Further, Connolly et al., (1999); Gao, (2001); Ha et al., (2010)
found no gender differences in intimacy and commitment (Duffy & Rusbult, 1986; Gao, 2001).
OBJECTIVES
Limited review of literature was found on gender differences between the types of love i.e.
Intimacy, Passion and Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction especially on the adolescents.
Relationship Satisfaction was generally assessed in the married couples. To find whether the
gender stereotypes still exist and because of the dearth of the review of literature in these areas,
this topic was chosen for the study.
For the present study, three objectives were formulated which are as follows:
1. To study the relationship between components of love and relationship satisfaction of
adolescent males and females.
2. To examine the difference in boys and girls regarding their types of love.
3. To examine the difference in boys and girls regarding their relationship satisfaction.
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Hypotheses
For the present study, seven hypotheses were formulated which are as follows:
1. There will be a relationship between Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent
males and females.
2. There will be a relationship between Passion and Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent
males and females.
3. There will be a relationship between Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction of
adolescent males and females.
4. There will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their Intimacy.
5. There will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their Passion.
6. There will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their Commitment.
7. There will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their Relationship Satisfaction.
METHOD
Sample:
100 participants who were currently involved in a romantic relationship for at least 3 months
were taken from various colleges in Delhi. Age of the participants ranged from 18-22 years. The
sample included 50 males and 50 females. The sampling techniques employed were Snowball
sampling and Convenience sampling.
Demographic form:
The demographic form was developed to include information relevant to this study. The
demographic form is a 6-item questionnaire that asks for the participants' gender (male / female),
age, duration of their relationship, whether the relationship is with a person of the same sex,
contact number and if they agree for an interview.
Variables:
Independent Variable: Intimacy, Passion, Commitment
Dependent Variables: Relationship Satisfaction
Control Variables: Age, duration of the relationship
For a systematic and accurate analysis, the frequency of the ages and duration of the relationship
were calculated.
Design of the study:
The present research follows an Ex-post facto research design. It is a systematic empirical
inquiry where the researcher has no direct control of independent variables because possible
antecedents of events have happened and therefore, cannot be controlled or manipulated. Ex-post
facto research is a research design that attempts to discover the pre existing causal conditions
between groups.
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Procedure:
The informed consent was taken from the participants. They were ensured about the
confidentiality of the information and results. The rapport was formed with each participant after
taking the written informed consent . Both the questionnaires were administered in the same
way. Also, after each administration the participant was thanked for their participation. For
further in depth study, an interview schedule was created and 10 participants, 5 males and 5
females were interviewed and the results were compiled.
Psychological tools:
The psychological instruments used in the study are:
1. Triangular Love Scale (TLS) by Sternberg R.J. (1997)
The questionnaire used in the present research is Sternberg’s Triangular love scale (1997) which
consists of 45 questions with 9-point Likert scales. The first 15 items in the scale reflect
intimacy, the second 15 measure passion, and the final 15 reflect commitment. The scoring was
done by adding the 15 items of each group.
The overall coefficient alpha was 0.97, while the coefficient alphas for intimacy, passion, and
commitment were 0.91, 0.94, and 0.94 respectively. The inter-scale correlations between the
subscales were 0.71 between passion and intimacy; 0.73 between passion and commitment; and
0.73 between intimacy and commitment. The correlations between the Sternberg Triangular
Love Scale and the Rubin Love Scale were found to be higher i.e. 0.70 for intimacy, 0.82 for
passion, and 0.71 for commitment.
2. Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS) by Hendrick, S. S. (1988)
Relationship Assessment Scale (RAS), is used to determine the participant's level of satisfaction
with their romantic partners. It is a self reported measure, that consists of seven questions with 5-
point Likert scales (1 = Low, 5 = High). The Relationship Assessment Scale has demonstrated
reliability with an alpha of 0.86, a mean inter-item correlation of 0.49, and a test-retest reliability
of 0.85 (Hendrick, 1988).
Men and women whose average score is above 4.0 tend to be satisfied with their romantic
relationship; whereas, men who score closer to 3.5 and women who score below 3.5 tend to have
greater relationship dissatisfaction (Hendrick, Dicke, & Hendrick, 1998).
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RESULTS
Quantitative data analysis:
a. Correlation:
Table 1 - Pearson Correlation of Males
Variables
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Relationship
Satisfaction
Relationship
Satisfaction
.627**
.561**
.679**
1
** significant at 0.01 level * significant at the 0.05 level
The perusal of table 1 reveals that a significant positive correlation exists between intimacy and
relationship satisfaction (r = 0.627); passion and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.561); and
commitment and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.679).
Table 2 - Pearson Correlation of Females
Variables
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Relationship
Satisfaction
Relationship
Satisfaction
.605**
.534**
.363**
1
** significant at the 0.01 level * significant at the 0.05 level
The perusal of table 2 reveals that a significant positive correlation exists between intimacy and
relationship satisfaction (r = 0.605); passion and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.534); and
commitment and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.363).
Table 3: Pearson Correlation for total sample
Variables
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Relationship
Satisfaction
Relationship
Satisfaction
.621**
.543**
.567**
1
** significant at the 0.01 level * significant at the 0.05 level
As can be seen from the table 3, the correlation results showed that a significant positive
correlation exists between intimacy and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.621); passion and
relationship satisfaction (r = 0.543) ; and commitment and relationship satisfaction (r = 0.567).
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b. t- ratio :
Table 4 - Means, Standard Deviation and t- ratios for all the variables
Variables
Means
Standard Deviation
(SD)
t -
ratio
Degree of
Freedom
(df)
Males
Females
Males
Females
Intimacy
111.32
115.64
18.57
17.08
-1.211
98
Passion
105.98
106.96
20.23
19.06
-.249
98
Commitment
111.74
116.98
24.00
19.79
-1.191
98
Relationship
Satisfaction
26.78
28.42
5.94
4.37
-1.573
98
** Significant at the 0.01 level * significant at the 0.05 level
Graph I: Means of all the four variables i.e. Intimacy, Passion, Commitment and Relationship
Satisfaction
As can be seen from the table above (Table 4), t=1.21, p<0.05 level indicating that males and
females do not differ with respect to their intimacy in a romantic relationship. For the passion
component t = .25, p<0.05 level indicating that males and females do not differ with respect to
their passion in a romantic relationship. Also, no gender differences were found in the
commitment of males and females towards their relationship as t = 1.91, p<0.05 level. Further,
males and females do not differ in their level of satisfaction level as t = 1.57, p<0.05 level.
Therefore, the data reveals that males and females do not differ either in their types of love or the
level of their relationship satisfaction i.e. they are equal in their levels of intimacy, passion,
commitment and relationship satisfaction. Even the graphical representation of the mean scores
of males and females suggest no difference in males and females for the variables for love and
relationship satisfaction (Graph I)
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Qualitative data analysis:
Thematic analysis was done to get an in-depth understanding of the responses of the subjects.
The table given in appendix-I depicts the themes for males which were found after the semi -
structured interview which includes : a) Contentment; b) Reliance; c) Self Disclosure; d) Care
and Concern; e) Emotional support; f) Physiological/Emotional arousal; g) Separation Anxiety;
h) Trust; i) Personal Space; j) Insecurity; and k) Commitment.
The table in appendix-II depicts the themes for females which were found after the semi -
structured interview which includes : a) Communication ; b) Adjustment ; c) Contentment; d)
Future of the relation; e) Preoccupation with the thought of the partner ; f) Understanding; g)
Reliance; h) Self Disclosure; i) Care and Concern; j) Emotional support; k)
Physiological/Emotional arousal; l) Separation Anxiety; m) Trust; and n) Personal Space.
Also important characteristics required in a relationship for both males and females were also
found out.
Figure b: Venn diagram for the significant themes.
The above figure represents the significant themes that emerged for males and females.
Insecurity and Commitment were found only in males. Communication, Adjustment, Future of
the relations, Preoccupation with the thought of the partner and Understanding were found only
in females. The themes that emerged both in males and females i.e. the overlapping themes are a)
Contentment; b) Self Disclosure; c) Care and Concern; d) Emotional Support; e)
COMMUNICATION
ADJUSTMENT
FUTURE OF THE
RELATION
PREOCCUPATION
WITH THE
THOUGHT OF THE
PARTNER
UNDERSTANDING
CONTENTMENT
SELF DISCLOSURE
CARE AND
CONCERN
EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT
PHYSIOLOGICAL /
EMOTIONAL
AROUSAL
SEPARATION
ANXIETY
RELIANCE
TRUST
PERSONAL SPACE
INSECURITY
COMMITMENT
MALES
FEMALES
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© The International Journal of Indian Psychology | 90
Physiological/Emotional Arousal; f) Separation Anxiety; g) Reliance; h) Trust; and i) Personal
Space.
INTERPRETATION AND DISCUSSION
The first hypothesis states that there will be a relationship between Intimacy and
Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent’s males and females.
The results show that for males i.e. r = .627 (Table 1) and for females i.e. r =. 605 (Table 2), a
significant positive correlation exists between the variable intimacy and relationship satisfaction
which is found to be significant at 0.01 level of significance. For the total sample, the correlation
results indicated that a significant positive correlation exists between intimacy and relationship
satisfaction i.e. r = 0.621 (Table 3).
This hypothesis is further supported by the qualitative data that was collected using the semi -
structured interview (Appendix-I and Appendix-II). Significant themes that emerged in both
males and females are self - disclosure, care and concern, emotional support, reliance, trust,
personal space and separation anxiety (Figure b). These are important aspects of intimacy. All
the components of intimacy experienced and keeping a record of intimacy goals were found to
strongly correlate with marital satisfaction (Greeff, Hildegarde, & Malherbe, 2001; Sanderson &
Cantor 2001). Even in lesbian couples, it was found that intimacy; life satisfaction and self-
esteem were found to positively correlate with relationship satisfaction (Eldridge & Gilbert,
1990). These results show that both males and females are satisfied with their relationship
because of the presence of intimacy between them.
From this it can be said that a considerable amount of relationship satisfaction is achieved when
individuals focus strongly on intimacy regardless of the time spent together (Sanderson &
Cantor, 1997). When male and female adolescents are involved in longer relationships, they
receive more social support (Connolly & Johnson, 1996) and are high on self disclosure
(Sprecher & Hendrick, 2004). The need of privacy is also respected by both males and females
because of confidence they have in each other. Other significant themes such as communication,
understanding and adjustment emerged only in females whereas, insecurity was found only in
males. Even in the online relationships, trust, communication satisfaction and intimacy were
found to be the strongest predictors of relationship satisfaction (Anderson, & Emmers - Sommer,
2006).
From the results above it can be said that the first hypothesis is held to be true i.e. a significant
positive relationship exists between Intimacy and Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent’s males
and females.
The second hypothesis states that there will be a relationship between Passion and
Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent’s males and females.
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For males (r = .561, Table 1) and for females (r = .534, Table 2), a significant positive
correlation (0.01 level of significance) was found to exist between passion and relationship. For
adolescents, the relationship between passion and relationship satisfaction is found to be
significant as can be seen from the correlation coefficient i.e. r =.543 (Table 3).
This hypothesis is further supported by the qualitative data that was collected using the semi -
structured interview. The theme that emerged in both males and females is
Physiological/Emotional arousal (Figure b). Physiological arousal includes increase in heart rate,
rapid breathing, "butterflies" feeling, red or pale face, blushing, etc. Emotional arousal, on the
other hand refers to the feelings on happiness/sadness, joy, love, etc. Both males and females
reported feelings of happiness, joy, blushing, heart pounding, butterfly feeling, etc (Appendix-I
and Appendix-II) when they saw they partners which leads them to experience contentment in
their relationship. Therefore, sexual satisfaction and relationship satisfaction have a link between
them (Santtila et al., 2007) even in married couples (Brezsnyak & Whisman, 2004) and confirms
to the previous findings where greater relationship satisfaction was found in college going males
and females who were sexually satisfied (Byers, Demmons, & Lawrance, 1998).
In both dating and married couples, individuals who are more satisfied with their sexual lives
report a high level of relationship satisfaction and stability (Brezsnyak & Whisman, 2004;
Regan, 2000; Sprecher, 2002). Further, transformations in the sexual satisfaction was found to
positively associate with satisfaction level over 4 years (Sprecher, 2002) in university going
dating students.
From the results it can be said that the second hypothesis has been proved i.e. there is a
significant positive relationship between passion and relationship satisfaction of adolescent
males and females.
The third hypothesis states that there will be a relationship between Commitment and
Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent males and females.
A significant positive correlation was found to exist between commitment and relationship
satisfaction for males i.e. r = .679 (Table 1) and females i.e. r = .363 (Table 2) which is
significant at 0.01 level of significance. For the total sample, results showed the existence of a
significant positive correlation commitment and relationship satisfaction i.e. r = .567 (Table 3)
which is significant at 0.01 level of significance.
This hypothesis is further supported by the qualitative data that was collected using the semi -
structured interview (Appendix-I and Appendix-II). Significant themes that emerged from the
responses of both males and females are trust, reliance and emotional support. These factors are
indicators of commitment. Both males and females have confidence in each other and have a
firm belief in their partner and they can blindly depend on each other. Commitment along with
self - esteem and self - disclosure were found to be significant correlates of relationship
satisfaction (Hendrick, Hendrick, & Adler, 1988). Qualitative analysis also revealed that males
Role of Love in Relationship Satisfaction
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high commitment to their relationship (Figure b). On the other hand, females were preoccupied
with the thought of future of the relationship with their partner, which also is a sign of
commitment and thus are more likely to alter their behaviors for the maintenance of the
relationship.
According to Rusublut & Bunnk (1993), making sacrifices for the relationship and being
occupied with the relationship thoughts, is promoted by commitment behavior. Commitment
and relationship satisfaction positively affect each other and also encourage behaviors like
making adjustments or sacrificing for the relationship, concerned about the relationship (Rusbult
& Buunk, 1993). Also, adjustment in the relationship was more likely to occur when an equal i.e.
a mutual commitment existed by the both the individuals in the relationship (Drigotas, Rusbult,
& Verette, 1999). Making efforts for regular communication, creating a relational future,
working together on relationship problems, maintaining integrity, providing affection, sharing
companionship, providing support, showing respect, creating a positive relationship atmosphere,
and reassuring one's commitment, are the ten categories that were found to be the indicators of
commitment (Weigel & Ballard-Reisch, 2002).
Hence, dedicated couples are more likely to view their relationship in a high sprit are more
cheerful and optimistic about their relationship which helps in the continued existence of the
relationship as also found by researchers like Weigel, Brown, & O'Riordan, (2011). Therefore,
the third hypothesis has been proved i.e. there is a significant positive relationship between
Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction of adolescent males and females.
In conclusion, it can be said that the components of love namely Intimacy, Passion and
Commitment strongly relate to Relationship Satisfaction, as hypothesized by Sternberg (1986). A
strong support was provided that Intimacy, Passion and Commitment correlate with Relationship
Satisfaction (Tang, 2007).
The fourth hypothesis states that there will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their
Intimacy.
The results showed that for the variable Intimacy, mean for boys was found out to be
� = 111.32
and for females
� = 115.64 (Table 4). An insignificant mean difference was found between the
mean of males (
� = 111.32) and females (
� = 115.64) for the variable Intimacy (Graph I). The t-
ratio for the variable Intimacy was found to be -1.211, p < 0.05 level (Table 4) i.e. the t- ratio for
the variable Intimacy was not found to be significant at any level of significance. The mean
scores and t- ratio signifies that adolescent males and females are equal in respect to their
intimacy in the relationship. Both boys and girls have an equal level of understanding in their
relationship, consider caring for the partner as important, provide support to the partner and
value them, share their thoughts and communicate with each other as also found by researchers
like Connolly et al., 1999; Gao, 2001; Ha et al., 2010.
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This hypothesis is further enriched by the qualitative data that was collected using the semi -
structured interview (Appendix-I and Appendix-II). The love component intimacy constitutes
many feelings and it is not a necessity that an individual displays all the feelings. The common
themes that emerged in both male and female adolescents are care and concern; reliance;
personal space; self - disclosure; emotional support; trust, and separation anxiety which are
discussed earlier. Themes such as communication, understanding and adjustment emerged only
in females indicating that females are more able to communicate their thoughts or requirements
in a relationship and as they are well able to communicate, they are also able to understand their
partner well (Figure b).
As the males lack these qualities, they tend to be insecure. Females are more expressive and
sensitive to the needs of their partner; understand their partners well and are more likely to adjust
in the relation and make more compromises as compared to males, in contrast to males. The
females are found to be more intimate than their male’s partners in adolescence as also found by
many researchers like Shulman, Walsh, Weisman, & Schelyer, (2009) and also in adulthood
(Ahmetoglu et al., 2010). According to a meta analysis, this difference between boys and girls is
a minute one (Dindia & Allen, 1992).
Hence, the fourth hypothesis has been proved quantitatively i.e. no gender differences exist in
adolescents regarding their Intimacy. On the other hand, qualitatively the hypothesis is disproved
as some gender differences do exist regarding their Intimacy.
The fifth hypothesis states that there will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their
Passion.
The results showed that for the variable Passion, mean for males was
� = 105.98 and for females
� = 106.96 (Table 4). A difference was observed between the means of boys and girls in their
Passion as illustrated in Graph I. The mean scores indicate that an insignificant difference exists
between the means of boys and girls regarding their passion. The t - ratio for the Passion
component was found to be t = .25, p < 0.05 level (Table 4) i.e. the t- ratio for the passion
component was not found to be significant at any level of significance which indicates that males
and females equally desire to be close to their partner physically in their adolescence (Connolly
et al., 1999; Ha et al., 2010; Levesque, 1993; Shulman & Scharf, 2000) and adulthood (Falconi
& Mullet, 2003; Gao, 2001; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986). In contrast to these are findings by
researchers like Ahmetoglu et al., 2010; Feiring, (1996) who found men to be more passionate
than women.
Qualitative analysis was also done to study this hypothesis using a semi-structured interview
(Appendix-I and Appendix-II). Physiological/Emotional arousal is the emergent theme in both
the males and females. The sight of the partner caused excitement in the partner, some even
reported of the butterflies feeling and an adrenaline rush was also felt after seeing the partner
while others were found to blush in front of their partners. Happiness was found to be the most
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common response. Further, females were found to be preoccupied with the thought of the partner
i.e. they are more future oriented while males focused in the present (Figure b). This could be
backed by the quantitative analysis, where mean for the females was higher than of males on
passion which may be a reason for the slight difference between the qualitative and quantitative
data analysis (Table 1).
Hence, the fifth hypothesis has been proved quantitatively i.e. no gender differences exist in
adolescent’s passion but is disproved according to the qualitative analysis suggesting that gender
differences do exist in adolescents regarding their passion.
The sixth hypothesis states that there will be no difference in boys and girls regarding their
Commitment.
For the variable Intimacy, mean for boys was found out to be
� = 111.74 and for females
� =
116.98 (Table 4). Difference in the mean scores was observed between boys and girls regarding
their Commitment as illustrated in Graph I. The mean scores point towards the insignificant
difference that was observed between the means of boys and girls regarding their level of
Commitment. The t- ratio for commitment was t = 1.91, p < 0.05 level (Table 4) i.e. t - ratio was
not found to be significant at any level of significance. The mean scores and the t-ratio suggest
that both boys and girls do not vary in their level of commitment i.e. both regard commitment as
crucial; have feelings of togetherness, work together for solutions to the problems, provide
affection to each other and create a positive atmosphere are equally committed towards their
partner and the relationship as found by researchers like Duffy & Rusbult ,(1986) ; Gao , (2001)
while some researchers suggest otherwise. Ahmetoglu et al., (2010); Reedy, Birren, & Schaie,
(1981) found males to be more committed where as researchers like Lemieux & Hale, (1999);
Duffy & Rusbult, (1986) have found that women were more committed to their relationship.
Thematic analysis was also done using the semi - structured interview (Appendix-I and
Appendix-II). Significant themes that indicated commitment of both males and females are trust,
reliance and emotional support, as discussed earlier. Males were found to be more committed to
their present relationship (Figure b). Females, on the other hand, were found to have a long term
commitment as they are more future oriented than men in the current relationship (Sakalli-
Ugurlu, 2003).
Hence, from the above results it can be said that both males and females are committed to the
relationship, but gender differences exist in their way of being committed or expressing their
commitment. Therefore, the sixth hypothesis has been proved quantitatively i.e. no gender
differences exists in adolescents commitment to the relationship, but quantitatively the results
suggest otherwise i.e. gender differences exist in adolescents in their way of expressing
commitment.
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Confirmation for the gender differences in adolescent males and females for the three
components of love i.e. Intimacy, Passion and Commitment is assorted. Mostly the studies have
found modest support for the existence of gender differences (Connolly et al., 1999; Ha et al.,
2010; Levesque, 1993; Seiffge-Krenke, 2003). But, in the recent studies gender differences are
becoming less apparent than in the earlier studies (Gao, 2001; Ha et al., 2010) are no longer
concrete. Oliver & Hyde (1993), attribute the decrease in gender differences due to the
decreasing differences in the society where equality is being promoted, but this supposition is not
verified.
The seventh hypothesis states that there will be no difference in boys and girls regarding
their Relationship Satisfaction.
The results showed that for Relationship Satisfaction, mean for boys was found out to be
� =
26.78 and for females
� = 28.42 (Table 4). Difference in the mean scores was observed between
boys and girls regarding their level of Relationship Satisfaction (illustrated in Graph I). The
mean scores suggest that an insignificant difference was observed regarding the relationship
satisfaction level of both boys and girls. The t- ratio was found to be = 1.57, p < 0.05 level
(Table 4). The t - ratio was not found to be significant at any level of significant. The mean
scores and the t-ratio indicates that the expectations from the partner and the relationship have
been fulfilled resulting in the balanced/ similar level of gratification and closeness for both males
and females as found by researchers like Crane et al., 2000; Cochran & Peplau, in press; Risman,
Hill, Rubin, & Peplau, 1981. Expectations of the relationship and the actual experiences were
found to be associated with relationship satisfaction and accounted for variance if more than 50
percent in both men and women (Frazier & Esterly, 1990).
Thematic analysis was also done using the semi - structured interview (Appendix-I and
Appendix-II). The theme that emerged in both males and females is Contentment i.e. both males
and females are satisfied with their relationship. Both the partners are positive about their
relationship and because the expectation regarding their relationships were fulfilled (as can be
seen from the responses of the subjects, Appendix-I and Appendix-II), both are equally devoted
to maintain the relationship. Well being of the partner is a concern for them and also provide
emotional support to the partner. An equal effort is maintained by both the partners to fulfill the
expectations of the other, and also be calm, polite and avoid criticism. It's because of the
openness they have, they easily convey their thoughts and needs.
While some researchers like Cunningham et al., (1982); Fowers, (1991), found women to be less
satisfied with their relationships, Acitelli & Antonucci, (1994) found women to be more satisfied
with their relationship and higher the women are satisfied, higher is the support, understanding
and emotional closeness received. In married couples, males were found to report high marital
satisfaction than the females (Burr, 1970; Komarovsky, 1967; Renne, 1970), while some studies
found women to report higher marital satisfaction ( Spanier, Lewis, & Cole, 1975). Interestingly,
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sometimes no gender differences were also found in terms of relationship satisfaction (Gilford &
Bengtson, 1979; Rollins & Cannon, 1974).
From the above results it can be said that both quantitatively and qualitatively the seventh
hypothesis has been proved i.e. no gender differences exist in the adolescents regarding their
satisfaction from the relationship.
CONCLUSION
The present research found that a significant positive relationship exists between the components
of love i.e. Intimacy, Passion, Commitment and Relationship Satisfaction. In other words the
components of love positively correlate with Relationship Satisfaction. Further, while assessing
the gender differences in the components of love it was found that quantitatively no gender
differences were found in intimacy, passion and commitment. On the other hand, qualitatively
gender differences were found in intimacy, passion and commitment. The reason could be that
such differences may be present implicitly which can only be know by taking the interviews.
Hence, the interviews should have been conducted on a larger number of people to obtain a clear
picture. Also it was found that both males and females were equally satisfied with their
relationship.
Implications:
1. In the present research it was found that gender stereotypes do not exist. Therefore just
adapting to the gender roles will not help on solving the problems. Other aspects of a relationship
like closeness, understanding, concern for the partner, avoiding criticism, building a positive
atmosphere are also important and need to be focused upon.
2. Self disclosure is very essential for a relationship as it helps to increase the understanding and
commitment in a relationship. Self disclosure can only be there if there is trust between both the
partners, which is the most important requirement in a relationship according to the respondents.
Therefore, the couples should foremost work on building trust on each other.
3. It is helpful for the counselors to assist the adolescents deal with the relationship problem as
many intervention techniques can also be provided like:
• Counselor can also help the adolescents to strengthen their relationship. The individuals
with short-lived relationships can be provided with intervention techniques can be
provided as the strong and the weak points of a relationship will be known.
• Making them aware of the characteristics of their relationship will help them change their
view of the relationship.
• Adolescents can focus more on resolving the conflicts and on relationship maintenance
strategies so as to avoid criticism and accept their companion the way they are.
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SUGGESTIONS FOR FURTHER RESEARCH:
1. Differences in adolescent males and females in respects to their Intimacy, Passion,
Commitment and also Relationship Satisfaction, will be steadier if developmental stages
are taken into account. Therefore, interaction between age and gender should be studied.
2. Future research can be done on how to increase intimacy, commitment and relationship
satisfaction.
3. Romantic relationships play an important role in ones' life. Therefore, research can be
done on how to increase their level of satisfaction.
4. More researches should be done on adolescents regarding the gender differences in
components of love especially on adolescents.
5. Tools can be developed based on the themes like support, reliance, trust, etc which
emerged through the thematic analysis.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
Without the help and kind support of advisors, my peers and my family, this project would not
have been possible. I would like to extend my sincere thanks for all those who have helped me in
completion of this project. I would like to thank Almighty God for his blessings and for all my
accomplishments. Foremost, I would also like to thank Dr. Daisy Sharma for her supervision,
assistance and patience. I would like to thank her for believing in my capabilities. She was a
constant support to me. I would also like to express my sincere gratitude to my teacher Dr.
Harpreet Bhatia for her support and guidance. This work would not have been possible without
support of my friends especially Tanveer Singh who provided me with their constant help. A
special thanks to my mother for her unconditional support throughout. Her selfless support was
an inspiration that helped me believe in my abilities. My special thanks and appreciations also
go to the participants of the research for their voluntary participation. Without their cooperation
the data would not have been compiled.
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APPENDIX-I
Themes for males based on semi - structured interview
THEMES FOR MALES
RESPONSES OF THE SUBJECTS
IMPORTANT
CHARACTERISTICS IN A
RELATION
Subject 1: Respect of privacy and need of others.
Subject 2 : Being uniform in the sense of having the same nature everywhere, no
matter what it is.
Subject 3 : Understanding; caring and compatibility and how well your partner
predict your mind
Subject 4 : Be in your truest form and have selfless love.
Subject 5: Equal time
CONTENMENT
Subject 1: It is a bright phase of my life and this is a serious relation. I am happier,
more satisfied.
Subject 2 : Experience has been really good. I got a really nice partner, who
understands me very well, she ‘s not demanding and always wanting things from
me; my expectations have been met.
Subject 3:. She is the perfect girl for me, exactly what I wanted. I am really happy
(emphasizing); I am totally loving this seriousness.
Subject 4 : It's been wonderful , we have shared memories; we both are happy
about the relationship.
Subject 5 : Everything is smooth, fine and I am happy with my current status and
I'm lucky to have her. Everything is perfect (smiling).
RELIANCE
Subject 2 : Jaisse raat ke ek baje bhi jese kuch aisa kaam hai ya koi problem hai, so
if I tell her then she’ll definitely support me.
Subject 3 : I can count on her totally , I do not count on myself but I count her on
more , she’s my best friend from heart.
Subject 4 : Jab bhi hota hai ki mjhe support chaiye hota hai, then she’s always with
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me.
Subject 5 : I know for a fact that whatever the situation is I can rely on her without
thinking for a second and that too more than anyone else.
SELF DISCLOSURE
Subject 1 : I'm glad I could manage to open up to a person;
to a large extent I share my thoughts.
Subject 2 : I’m very open in telling anything to her
because it increase
understanding.
Subject 3 : I am comfortable sharing things with her especially because I like
transparency in my relationship. Not sharing things will create confusion and I do
not want to lose her at any cost.
Subject 4 : When we want
to talk about anything we do that openly and share
things and I understand her.
Subject 5 : We both are totally open to each other.
CARE AND CONCERN
Subject 1 : I always love her to be safe and understand where she is coming from. ;
I am not the stockery kind. I am concerned about her safety.
Subject 2 : If she tells me that she’s not well or she requires something, toh mai
obviously I do that much; I mean meri bhi kaafi female friends hai and mai usko
nhi rokunga kisi ke sath bhi jaane ke liye until and unless I feel ki who uske sath
safe hai ya nhi.
Subject 3 : Agar woh theek hai toh mai teek hu aur who khush hai toh mai khush
hu, I continuously keep calling her to know is she is alright or not.
Subject 4 : If she is in physical pain then I do stuffs to make her better and if she is
in mental pain then I act stupidly to make her happy, in short I want ki woh khush
rahe.
Subject 5 : In her periods I cannot feel her but I understand the pain so I do not
overburden her with things during those days.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Subject 1 : She has broken that boundary which I build around me. She is the only
person I feel emotionally close to.
Subject 3 : In my difficult and happy times she’s with me, she supports me, she
advises me, she will listen to my all bakwass that I do, she’s not irritated with me,
that’s why I’m emotionally attached to her.
Subject 4 : Mai kabhi bhi emotional hota hu ya mjhe rona aata h toh she’s always
next to me.
Subject 5 : She supports me emotionally a lot and when I'm low she is there with
me and I feel much better (emphasizing).
PHYSIOLOGICAL /
EMOTIONAL AROUSAL
Subject 1 : I get very much excited after seeing her. I get that shivery feeling,
sense of blushing.
Subject 2 : Bohot acha lagta hai and aapne aap he face pe smile aa jaati h usse dekh
ke.
Subject 3 : I saw her after month , then jab usse dekha toh mai bhaag ke gaya and I
hugged her, jab usse dekhta huin toh bari si smile aa jati hai.
Subject 4 : We give tight hug to each other and that feeling is amazing , still after
1.5 years we hug each other and get that feeling.
Subject 5 : (excitingly ) Bahut zyda hoti hai. It's like lights chalti hai and a kind of
fairy tale scene. It's very exciting to see her after a long time.
SEPARATION ANXIETY
Subject 1 : It troubles me to accept separation. but it would make difficult for me
to enter in a relation. So I will be afraid of committing myself again. She is one of
them who have entered the boundary
Subject 2 : Understanding level and compatibility itni ho chuki hai 2 saal mai ki
agar who 2 din ke liye bhi nahi ho toh ajeeb lagta h matlab kuch kum lagta h; bura
lagega obviously, han upset hounga mai.
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Subject 3 : Uss time mai roo padta hu, and mai usse bolta hu ki agar mai tere se
alag hogaya toh mai mar jaunga infact aaj subah he usse bol rha tha ki agar kuch
hogaya toh agra jaan padega pagal kahane.
Subject 4 : I would be broken , because it's been a long time and we have shared a
lot of feelings so when you invest a lot in somebody it beaks you and I do not want
us to separate.
Subject 5 : Agar aaisa hua toh I will commit suicide because I cannot and never
will imagine my life without her. I will be completely shattered, this is totally
unexpected won't be able to cope with my life.
TRUST
Subject 2 : Pakka meri help karegi ; even if she is talking to some guy I know she
is mine only.
Subject 3 : I know that she’ll be with me in all my happy times and also my
difficult times.
Subject 4 : Ab hume ye pata lag gaya hai ki jo feeling hum ek doosre ke liye
develop kar chuke hai, ab who kisi aur ke liye nhi hoga. We’ve seen lots and lots
of things together and bohot involved ho chuke hai.
Subject 5 : Hume pata hai ki agar woh kisi ke sath hai ya kuch bhi woh ake mujhe
bataegi and I know that; I have blind faith on her.
PERSONAL SPACE
Subject 1 : We respect that we both have our personal lives, it's her life after all and
she has her freedom. We do not enter in each other's personal lives. It is voluntary
if one wants to share.
Subject 3 : Personal space poori hai, apna relax raho. Trust pura hai and iss baat pe
bhi hai.
Subject 4 : Password share karna and all that , but ye sab hamare beech mai nhi hai,
hum ek dusri ki privacy ko hamper ni karte.
Subject 5 : We have our personal space and we respect that. We do not share
passwords and stuff. We do not have a problem with sharing but we feel that is not
required.
INSECURITY
Subject 1 : It troubles me to accept separation. But it would make difficult for me
to enter in a relation. So I will be afraid of committing myself. She is one of them
who have entered the boundary.
Subject 2 : Kabhi kabhi at a certain point of time agar jese ek do din baat nhi hui ya
kisi aur ko zyada time de rhi h toh kabhi kabhi uss situation mai aisa lagta hai.
Subject 3 : Agar zyada cheezein kharab ho jaye, toh mai ye sochta hu ki who door
na hojaye kahi, mai uske bina nhi reh paunga, and woh bhi mere bina nhi reh paegi.
Subject 5 : I do not get jealous but yes definitely insecure when I feel that she
neglected me when she was with her other friends.
COMMITMENT
Subject 1 : There is no such thing as guarantee. I am committed to an extent that it
is going on well.
Subject 2 : Ups and downs hote rehte hai. After investing so much of time, you
want to stay with her only.
Subject 4 : If you have entered in the relationship you should make it work. Ups
and down hote hai but the thing is you get back together chahe kaisse bhi ho and
we do that.
Subject 5: Pehle lagta tha ki woh aaise ban ke aaye but ab ni hota. Ab hai ki if I am
with her , I am completely with her.
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© The International Journal of Indian Psychology | 104
APPENDIX-II
Themes for females based on semi - structured interview
THEMES FOR FEMALES
RESPONSES OF THE SUBJECTS
IMPORTANT
CHARACTERISTICS IN A
RELATION
Subject 1 : Trust each other and we should respect each other.
Subject 2 : Trust
Subject 3 : Trust and time
Subject 4 : People have double standards. People should be in their truest form.
Subject 5 : Trust and loyalty
COMMUNICATION
Subject 1 : I get to know how he’s feeling or when he’s in a foul mood over
something (and what that something is) even when he doesn’t utter a word about it.
Subject 2 : jab hum baat kar rhe hote hai toh woh after 7-8 minutes apne aap samjh
jata hai and pooch leta hai ki kuch hua hai na, kuch chal rha hai na tere dimaag mai
and mera bhi yahi hota hai.
Subject 3 : Even when I do not to convey my thoughts, he can figure out, we have
such a strong bond in so less time.
Subject 4 :. We find out on our own what the problem is .I do not have to tell him
anything . He just knows it.
Subject 5 : Ek toh bina bole we understand the pain one is going through. I do not
know how that is.
ADJUSTMENT
Subject 1 : For this relationship to work we both will have to compromise over
certain things.
Subject 2 : Hume samjh mai agaya hai ki how to adjust, bas chodna is not an option
and chodna bhi nhi , so we compromise..
Subject 4 : Both of us are open to criticism and do an equal amount of adjustment
to make it work.
Subject 5 : I am very authoritative and he always compromises for this (laughing);
I wanted someone to be very open which he is not, but that is okay with me now.
CONTENMENT
Subject 1 : There hasn’t been much of a trouble till now. No quarrels-no fights etc.
So, yeah, we’re in accord with each other and we talk good.
Subject 2 : I am satisfied on 2-3 grounds like loyalty, trust and understanding. He
has all these qualities and this makes me happy.
Subject 3 : Pretty good. I feel like he’s the one that I really want to be with. I
wanted a guy who wants to be with me, spend time with me, caring, loving. I have
got this.
Subject 4 : My real expectations have been met actually more than that. I wanted
someone who would understand and invest a lot of time which I am happy with it
as I have got that.
Subject 5 : I never got anyone like him. I am just like a free bird . I never knew
relationships can be so full of happiness and life. To be with him is like living a
positive dream.
FUTURE OF THE
RELATION
Subject 2 : Hamari shadi hojaye toh hum aise curtains lagwaenge; I want our
babies to look like him (laughing).
Subject 3 : Till now he is more than me interested in future plan, I can judge that he
is more than me excited about the future and I too want it to last.
Subject 4 : I hope it to last forever.
Subject 5 : We belong to the same community. I am more sure of us getting
together and tie the knot.
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PREOCCUPATION WITH
THE THOUGHT OF THE
PARTNER
Subject 2 : Han aise hota hai jese jab mai padh rhi hoti hu toh mjhe ussi ke
thoughts aate rehte hai and mai apna sarr bang karti hu ki bas aur thoughts nhi lane.
Subject 3 : I think only about him continuously. I try to deviate my mind, but it is
not possible. Because of attachment or maybe I’m concerned.
Subject 4 : Yeh toh bahut baar hota hai especially because he is not there with me
every time . I think about the time we were together or when he will be back and
we can meet.
Subject 5 : The time when we meet is so special. It's unforgettable. When we do
not meet I all keep is thinking about him,
the way he cares for me, the way he
cuddles me especially during my exams.
UNDERSTANDING
Subject 1 : Yeah, because it’s been a long time. Now I know that if he’s busy then
he is busy and he has to work.
Subject 2 : It was good, but as we spent more and more time we came to know
about each other pretty well. The duration of the fights has also reduced.
Subject 3 : There are minor fights and arguments, which are healthy actually, since
there is understanding between, we can understand others feeling and emotion and
through what the other person is going.
Subject 4 : We differ on some things but that is totally okay, everyone does. He is
working and I know he is doing it for us (emphasizing ) to stabilize his economic
conditions and it is for me to understand this.
Subject 5 : We are opposite people but the fact that binds us together is that we
accept each other the way we are.
RELIANCE
Subject 1 : I don’t think I can rely on anyone else but him. He’s my best friend first
and boyfriend later.
Subject 2 : !! I count more on him rather than my friends and parents . Woh hota hi
hai chahe koi aur ho na ho.
Subject 3 : Whenever I need his support, be it day or night, if he is busy or not, he
always gives me time and help me through. And even when I urge him to come and
meet me, he comes down.
Subject 4 : He has been there for me always for good or bad. He knows how to
handle what issue.
Subject 5 : I rely on him for each and every thing it being my work, my issues or
my good times. Koi bhi baat hoti hai he is there for me I do not need to think about
that.
SELF DISCLOSURE
Subject 1 : I discuss my daily routine with him, I tell him the tiniest bit of
everything that happened in my day even if he’s not interested in listening.
Subject 2 : Agar usko sab kuch pata hoga toh hamari understanding zyada badegi.
And he is like my personal diary where I can write anything about myself.
Subject 3 : I want trust and openness in my relationship. I don't want any hidden
things in between us and if he knows me he would understand me. I do not want to
fake out things.
Subject 4 : We share almost everything possible. If I don't do it it's like uneasy for
me ki nahi share kia and I like transparency.
Subject 5 : Being open to your partner is essential as it increases trust and you
know how to deal with things for your partner and understand things and be able to
support to your partner.
CARE AND CONCERN
Subject 1 : He pampers me a lot especially when I am not well. He sets an alarm
for my med and calls me up at the same time. even I do the same; I’ll try to contact
his friends to know if he’s okay and then I’ll look on to it later.
Subject 2 : Usse stone hai and bohot pain hota hai every week toh mai darr jaati hu
ki usse itne pain ho rha hai and I don't want him to bear the pain. I feel pained .
Subject 3 : I become concerned for him, and try to cheer him up, make him feel
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good, because I love him.
Subject 4 : I feel it's my responsibility to take care of him and he cares for me like
he is my second dad or mom part too (laughing).
Subject 5 : He has the problem of asthma. I make sure that he is carrying his pump;
I scold him for his drinking habit and he has reduced for me but I scold him a lot ki
its not good.
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Subject 1 : Whenever I was in a trouble of an emotionally tough situation he was
always there to counsel me and to support me and to sort my problems out. Also,
he never left me in seclusion saying “It’s your problem. Solve it yourself”.
Subject 2 : Sabse zyda emotionally (emphasizing and repeating). Emotionally aise
ki he’s my everything, day agar start hona h toh uspe he aur day agar khatam hona
hai toh uspe hi aur emotional support toh hai hi.
Subject 3 : When he is sad and low, I become concerned for him, and try to cheer
him up, make him feel good, because I love him, and shares a really definitely deep
and strong bond.
Subject 5 : It is only him with whom I feel I am actually secure emotionally as he
will definitely not play with my emotions and he never has. When I feel like
crying I only want his hug, which is so soothing and I feel so attached and relaxed
emotionally.
PHYSIOLOGICAL /
EMOTIONAL AROUSAL
Subject 1 : I feel exceptionally good. When I look at him always brings a smile on
my face undoubtedly.
Subject 2 : I feel it's a new starting. I feel my emotions are so fresh. I want to sing
like yeeeh we are back and I smile continuously.
Subject 3 : Adrenaline rush, (laughing aloud) I feel so excited. It’s so good when
he come to me, greet me nicely and sweetly.
Subject 4 : I still get that butterflies feeling (laughing). Yeh restlessness maine
bhut dekhi hai usme bhi. This bond is mutual.
Subject 5 : A tickling sensation is there in my stomach whenever I meet him. In
fact, I am blushing most of the times. My heart starts pounding.
SEPARATION ANXIETY
Subject 1 : I’ll feel really grave if I get separated from him.
Subject 2 : Itni restlessness, itni anxiety, hum ek doosre mai bohot zyada indulge
ho chuke hai ab and I think ki I will not able to get over it our separation.
Subject 3 : I’m an emotional person, and to break a relation will be hard on me, I
don’t want to move away from him.
Subject 4 : I cannot think of him not being around and that happens probably due
to the fear of losing him.
Subject 5 : I do not want to lose him ever in my life. He is best I could ever get and
even thinking about losing him, be the worst nightmare. I surely will never enter
into a relationship. I get insecure.
TRUST
Subject 1 : If we do have a fallout again I don’t think I’ll need to worry or fuss over
it. It won’t last long and we’ll patch up again soon.
Subject 2: At the end of the day these problems do not matter nhi karta kyuki woh
loyal hai because he is completely mine and he is there for me.
Subject 3: I don’t feel jealous as I trust him very much, and I know he loves me
more than I do.
Subject 4 : It's all about trust and I trust him completely and I guess that is very
important too; I cannot express sometimes things but ill mail them across and I
know then definitely things will get sorted out.
Subject 5 : I trust him a lot. I know he is mine only ; Even if things are upside
down I know for a fact that we will still always be by each other's side.
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© The International Journal of Indian Psychology | 107
PERSONAL SPACE
Subject 1 : Space isn’t an issue at all. He knows me in and out both of us respect
each other’s space and agree over each other’s personal life.
Subject 2 : Usne mujhe kabhi ni roka. Mai kitne hi contacts banayu ya kisi ke sath
jayu but usne kabhi ni bola kuch.
Subject 3 : I am allowed going out with my friends and talking to anyone, and
same goes for him, because I trust him and so do he chahe woh kisi larki ke sath hi
jaye. So I do not feel binded.
Subject 4 : He has never asked me for my passwords and I am pretty fine with it .
We have this thing for privacy and jitna share karna hota hai wahi karte hai.
Subject 5 : We trust each other and hume ek dusre ke password ya phone check
karne mei interest nahi hai. Agar hum kisi se baat bhi kar rhe hai so we know our
limits and we trust each other that we will not cross that.