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Ajan ja huomion saaminen vanhemmilta: tutkimus lasten aloitteista yhdessä olemiseen ja vanhempien vastauksista keskustelunanalyysin ja kiintymyssuhdeteorian näkökulmista

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Tutkielmani on osa Suomen Akatemian rahoittamaa ja Anja Riitta Lahikaisen johtamaa Media, perheen vuorovaikutus ja lasten hyvinvointi -hanketta. Analysoin lasten vanhemmilleen tekemiä aloitteita vapaa-ajan yhdessä viettämiseen sekä niihin annettuja vastauksia. Aineistonani oli 24:n tamperelaisen perheen kodeissa nauhoitettu videomateriaali. Kahdessatoista perheessä oli vähintään yksi esikouluikäinen lapsi ja kahdessatoista taas vähintään yksi 12-vuotias lapsi. Koteihin asennettiin neljä videokameraa yhden tavallisen arkipäivän ajaksi. Lasten aloitteiden ja vanhempien vastausten kirjoa kuvasin teemoittelulla esikoululaisten perheissä. Huomasin, että lasten pelaamiseen liittyvät aloitteet eivät olleet sen tyyppisiä, jotka olisivat johtaneet vanhemman ja lapsen kestävään ja molemminpuoliseen yhdessäoloon, mutta muihin asioihin liittyen lapset esimerkiksi kysyivät sellaisia yleisiä maailman ymmärtämisen kysymyksiä, jotka olivat omiaan aloittamaan yhteisen oppimistuokion. Koko aineistosta valitsin kolme pidempää vuorovaikutustilannetta keskustelunanalyyttiseen tarkasteluun ja toin esille, kuinka moninaisilla keinoilla lapsi voi hakea vanhemman aikaa ja huomiota ja miten vanhempi voi kieltäytyessään tasapainotella häneen kohdistuvien odotusten ja omien intressiensä välillä. Lapsi voi esimerkiksi luovasti kierrättää vanhemman aiemmin käyttämiä sanoja ja keinoja saadakseen vanhemman leikkimään kanssaan. Lisäksi esittelin tahmean medialaitteen käsitteen jolla kuvaan siitä, kuinka matkapuhelinta käyttävän vanhemman kanssa vuorovaikuttaminen voi olla takkuista ja epäselvää. Vanhempi voi käyttää matkapuhelinta myös takaovena pois vuorovaikutustilanteesta aloittamalla soittaa puhelua silloin, kun lapsi yrittää saada hänen huomiotaan. Tutkielman toisessa osassa tarkastelin ajan ja huomion pyytämistä kiintymyssuhdeteorian näkökulmasta ja pohdin, miltä keskustelunanalyysillä tunnistamani eri vuorovaikutuskeinot näyttävät kiintymyssuhdeteorian valossa. Huomioni kiinnittivät se, kun lapsi pyytää vanhemman apua keinona saada vanhemman huomiota ja se, kun vanhempi vetoaa jaksamattomuuteen kieltäytyessään pyynnöstä yhdessäoloon. Esitin hypoteesin siitä, miten lapselle muodostuu toistuvan avun tarvitsijan diskurssi-identiteetin ottamisen kautta avuttomuutta sisältävä minäkuva. Toisena hypoteesina esitin, kuinka lapsi voi mallioppia jaksamattomuudella selittämisen ja sisäistää kyvyttömyyden osaksi persoonaansa. Halusin molemmilla hypoteeseilla avata uusia tapoja ymmärtää takertuvan kiintymyssuhdetyylin negatiivisen minäkuvan synnyttäviä mekanismeja.
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... Children try to interrupt their parents using media devices because they want their parents' attention (see Chapter 9). These attempts often fail (Mantere & Raudaskoski, 2015;Mantere, 2014). ...
... Children were dissatisfied with their parents, and tried to get them to change their activities. Sometimes children desperately sought their parents' attention and tried to interrupt their actions, especially when the parent was concentrating on online activities (Mantere, 2014;Mantere & Raudaskoski, 2015). ...
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