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Walking the walk, talking the talk: Love languages, self-regulation, and relationship satisfaction: Love languages, self-regulation, and satisfaction

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Abstract

Much clinical work has utilized G. Chapman's (1995) “love languages” model to promote relationship satisfaction, yet the model remains untested. This study addressed this issue by testing the hypothesis that couples with aligned love languages would report higher relationship satisfaction; we also explored the role that self-regulation played in promoting satisfaction. A total of 67 heterosexual couples were assessed on love language preference, self-regulation, and relationship satisfaction. Results provided limited evidence that love language alignment promotes satisfaction; self-regulation contributed greater variance in satisfaction. Dyadic analyses identified that female self-regulation positively impacted both male and female relationship satisfaction when couples had dissimilar primary love languages, although significant actor effects were also important predictors for both genders. The outcomes of this study suggest that the effectiveness of Chapman's model may be dependent on both spouses exhibiting appropriate self-regulatory behaviors and that female self-regulation plays an important role in predicting relationship satisfaction for both partners when they have different preferred love languages.

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... The book written by the author were sold by the millions and being translated into 50 languages (Chapman, 2010). The Five Love Languages also became a foundation for a government-based program in Australia to enhance the relationship functioning (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). These examples give evidence that Five Love Languages is extremely popular despite the original author has not conducted empirical research to support the love languages model. ...
... For example, previous studies attempted to support and validate the five factors structure of Five Love Languages (Cook et al., 2013;Egbert & Polk, 2006;Polk & Egbert, 2013). Another example explored the relationship between love languages and self-regulatory behavior toward relationship satisfaction (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). Specifically, this current study is a part of a continuous endeavor to validate love languages especially in Indonesia (Surijah et al., 2017;Surijah & Septiarly, 2016), as Chapman (2010) said love languages could be applied in a multitude of contexts. ...
... Results suggested marital satisfaction was not influenced by the compatibility of the love languages. As Bunt and Hazelwood (2017) found in their study, love languages' effectiveness was dependent on self-regulatory behavior. Marital satisfaction for couples with matched love languages did not differ with partially matched or mismatched couples in this current study. ...
Article
Love is an essential part of human experience and love languages have been studied to validate its factors’ structures to explain what makes people feel loved. The current study addresses the gap that love research shall not rely on student samples and it needs to measure the actual outcome of love languages. This study aims to gather empirical evidence for love languages’ factor structure and its relation to the outcome variable. The method for this study is a quantitative survey with 250 couples reported their love languages using a rating-scale and forced-choice scale. The data analysis examined the factor structure of the love languages model and estimated the association between love languages compatibility and marital satisfaction. The factorial analysis showed that the five factors solution was not supported and love languages compatibility did not affect couples’ marital satisfaction. This result brought discussions on how popular psychology concepts need to be under the scrutiny of scientific investigation and that different contexts may have different factors on what makes people feel loved.
... As of 2018, Chapman's LL model has become embraced by laypeople (Egbert & Polk, 2006), regularly employed and endorsed by helping professionals (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017;Eckstein & Morrison, 1999), and internationally, included in government-subsidized programs to improve relationships (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). Its magnitude is evident by sales of Chapman's (2015a) original volume exceeding "10 million copies in English" (p. ...
... As of 2018, Chapman's LL model has become embraced by laypeople (Egbert & Polk, 2006), regularly employed and endorsed by helping professionals (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017;Eckstein & Morrison, 1999), and internationally, included in government-subsidized programs to improve relationships (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). Its magnitude is evident by sales of Chapman's (2015a) original volume exceeding "10 million copies in English" (p. ...
... Other researchers have sought to determine whether relational satisfaction was affected by the presence or absence of alignment between primary LL preferences reported by one partner and the LL reported by the other partner (Thatcher, 2004) or by their sharing the same primary LL (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017). Although the results were not found to be significant in either study, it is worth noting that (a) in the former study, there was insufficient variability across the five LLs, (b) the analyses in both studies may have been affected by the choice of measures used (see the Measurement of LLs and Measurement of Relational Satisfaction subsections below), and (c) the latter researchers erroneously cited Chapman as saying that "couples with aligned primary LLs, where both partners have a preference for the same language [emphasis added], should be the most apt at expressing and receiving love between one another" (Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017, p. 282). ...
Article
Full-text available
Chapman identified and described Five Love Languages (LLs), principal value systems by which individuals communicate and anticipate expression of affection: Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Receiving Gifts, Acts of Service, and Physical Touch. Although Chapman’s model has become embraced by laypeople and helping professionals, it remains relatively underresearched. In this exploratory study, multivariate clustering procedures were used to identify profiles of combinations of LLs (as measured by Chapman’s Love Languages Personal Profile for Couples) in 100 couples. Emphasis was given not only to men’s and women’s primary LLs but also to differences between men and women within each couple as quantified by mean differences and Cohen’s d effect sizes thereof across the combination of all five LLs. In comparing the clustering variable means of the final cluster solution, it was found that the four profiles matched well and varied in a statistically significant manner. The relationship between the four-cluster solution and couples’ reported levels of global relational satisfaction (as measured by the Revised Kansas Marital Satisfaction Scale) also was assessed. Although no significant differences were found in the distress profiles across the four clusters (likely due to insufficient variability based on a majority nondistressed sample), results did suggest a trend whereby couples were less likely to report distress the more their combination of LL preferences was congruent. This study makes several methodological contributions to an emerging literature on the LLs, and the results provide a foundation for further research, particularly on how Chapman’s model contributes to understanding the relationships between intimate relationships, self-development, and self-expansion.
... Although there were some attempts to examine the factors that may moderate the relationship satisfaction when partners are misaligned in their LLs [e.g. 28], to our knowledge, none of the previous studies have examined the potential mediators that may drive LL matching, leading to elevated satisfaction. An empathic individual may be both more effective in giving the form of love desired by the partner, and in guiding the partner towards understanding their own needs. ...
... They were grouped into three categories including matched, mismatched and partially matched; however, no significant effect of matching on relationship quality was found. According to later research [28] sharing the same primary (expressed) LL again did not result in relationship satisfaction. However, the researchers found that female participants' self-regulation significantly improved partners' satisfaction when their LLs were misaligned. ...
Article
Full-text available
Chapman's Love Languages hypothesis claims that (1) people vary in the ways they prefer to receive and express affection and (2) romantic partners who communicate their feelings congruent with their partner's preferences experience greater relationship quality. The author proposes five distinct preferences and tendencies for expressing love, including: Acts of Service, Physical Touch, Words of Affirmation, Quality Time and Gifts. In the present study partners (N = 100 heterosexual couples) completed measures assessing their preferences and behavioral tendencies for a) expressions of love and b) reception of signs of affection, for each of the five proposed "love languages". Relationship satisfaction, sexual satisfaction and empathy were also assessed. The degree of the within-couple mismatch was calculated separately for each individual based on the discrepancies between the person's felt (preferred) and their partner's expressed love language. The joint mismatch indicator was a sum of discrepancies across the five love languages. Matching on love languages was associated with both relationship and sexual satisfaction. In particular, people who expressed their affection in the way their partners preferred to receive it, experienced greater satisfaction with their relationships and were more sexually satisfied compared to those who met their partner's needs to lesser extent. Empathy was expected to be a critical factor for better understanding of and responding to the partner's needs. Results provided some support for this hypothesis among male but not female participants.
... Regarding family cohesion more generally, we observed a nonsignificant but positive correlation between fathers' and mothers' reports of interparental relationship satisfaction ( r = 0.21, P = 0.08). The magnitude of this correlation is smaller than what is typically seen in studies of romantic relationship satisfaction (e.g., Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017 ;Williamson & Johnston, 2018 ). While this may have been an artifact of our relatively small sample, it may also be that for the parents in this study there was less alignment in their perceptions of their relationship, which is consistent with research suggesting that parents of young children, particularly women, are less satisfied with their romantic relationships as compared to non-parents or parents of older children ( Kamp Dush, Taylor, & Kroeger, 2008 ;Nelson, Kushlev & Lyubomirsky, 2014 ). ...
Article
This study used a family systems framework to examine associations between parent-child synchrony, interparental relationship satisfaction, and children's emotion regulation. The sample included 75 families from socioeconomically and ethnically diverse backgrounds who had a child between 18 and 27 months (Mage = 20.9 months). Mothers and fathers from the same families completed separate visits with their child. Mother-child and father-child synchrony (i.e., the extent to which dyads displayed a contingent pattern of communication) were coded from observations of parent-child teaching tasks completed individually with their child. Children's emotion regulation was coded from observations of a brief frustration task and included codes for children's emotional distress and adaptive coping (i.e., task-focused coping strategies). Results from dyadic path models demonstrated that father-child, but not mother-child, synchrony was associated with less distress in toddlers, and that fathers’ self-reported interparental relationship satisfaction was negatively associated with toddlers’ coping. The final model revealed that mothers’ relationship satisfaction moderated associations between both mother-child and father-child synchrony and toddlers’ adaptive coping. Further, fathers’ relationship satisfaction moderated the association between father-child synchrony and toddlers’ distress. These results suggest that the quality of father-child interactions play a unique and important role in supporting children's emotion regulation in challenging situations, and that interparental relationship satisfaction is a key factor to consider. Further, this work highlights the importance of considering the entire family system, such as how interactions between parents indirectly influence children's development.
... studies conducted on the subject give suggestions that various variables related to 5 love languages should be examined, and thus a contribution should be made to the psychology literature (Bland & McQueen, 2018;Bunt & Hazelwood, 2017;Egbert & Polk, 2006). ...
Article
The aim of this study was to investigate the mediating role of the components of love language on differentiation of self and marital satisfaction. The sample comprised of 161 Turkish married heterosexual couples. The Common Fate Model (CFM) analysis revealed that four of the five components of love language had a mediating role. Differentiation of self positively predicted marital satisfaction and indirectly affected marital satisfaction through physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, and receiving gifts. The findings were discussed for family therapists and cross-cultural researchers aiming to promote better marital satisfaction based on differentiation of self and love language.
... Benlik düzenleme becerisi gelişmiş insanların, sigara içme, yeme problemleri, aile içi şiddet, suça karışma gibi istenmeyen davranışları gösterme olasılıkları düşüktür (Baumeister, 2018). Ayrıca, benlik düzenleme romantik ilişkilerde gerekli olan fedakârlık gösterebilme becerisinde de etkilidir (Bunt ve Hazelwood, 2017). Yüksek benlik düzenleme becerisine sahip kişiler romantik ilişkilerinde kişisel çıkarlarına göre hareket etme eğiliminde olmadıklarından benlik düzenleme becerisi sağlıklı ve uzun vadeli ilişkilere sahip olmada önemli bir rol oynar (Hofmann, Finkel ve Fitzsimons, 2015). ...
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Introduction to Family Processes: Diverse Families, Common Ties serves to provide an explanation of the complex workings of inner family life. The text primarily focuses on family processes and dynamics (the "inside" of families) as opposed to sociological trends, political topics, or the individual psychological approach. The text further presents the research underlying these processes and effectively presents ways to increase the positive aspects of family life. Great book for introduction to family classes, as well as overview for graduates/professionals working with families. https://www.routledge.com/Introduction-to-Family-Processes-Diverse-Families-Common-Ties/Bodman-Van-Vleet-Day/p/book/9781138312876
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