Who we are and become is influenced by our relationships in different times and spaces. In this paper, I tell stories about my professional education work with others in the Middle East and elsewhere that shows this process in action. However, this view of the evolutionary nature of identity requires a different epistemology from the dominant either-or epistemology of conventional higher education. Through stories about interactions with others in higher education, I explain how such a divisive epistemological form encourages divisive social practices. Further, given current misappropriations of action research by a traditionalist academy, this form now infiltrates action research discourses. Finding ways to create pluralist identities therefore becomes the responsibility of academics who thereby legitimize a dynamic epistemological form through their own action enquiries.