Content uploaded by Emma Katz
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Emma Katz on Mar 25, 2016
Content may be subject to copyright.
Children and
coercive control
Dr Emma Katz
Lecturer in Childhood and Youth Studies
Liverpool Hope University
katze@hope.ac.uk #DrEmmaKatz
This talk will answer the following questions:
1. How are children harmed by coercive control in contexts where
their father/father figure is perpetrating domestic abuse against
their mother?
2. How do children act to resist coercive control in their daily
lives?
3. How can we support children to recover from coercive control?
katze@hope.ac.uk
Key arguments
katze@hope.ac.uk
Children must not be invisible or left on the margins in work on coercive control – their
experiences are central
As we continue to recognise coercive control against women/mothers and seek to tackle it
more effectively, we must also account for the impacts it has on children
In DA contexts, perpetrators/fathers not only harm children by exposing them to physical
violence, they harm them by pervading children’s family lives with coercive control –
perpetrators/fathers must be held accountable for this
Perpetrators’/fathers’ coercive control places children in isolated, disempowering and
constrained worlds which can hamper children’s resilience and healthy development and
contribute to emotional and behavioural problems
Published work on this topic
katze@hope.ac.uk
Katz’s research on this topic has been published in:
Katz, E. 2016. Beyond the Physical Incident Model: How Children Living with Domestic
Violence are Harmed by and Resist Regimes of Coercive Control, Child Abuse Review,
vol. 25 (1): 46-59. Available from: http://
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1002/car.2422/abstract
Anyone who cannot access this for free is welcome to contact Emma for a copy
What is coercive control-based domestic abuse?
katze@hope.ac.uk
Two main types of domestic abuse: ‘situational couple violence’ (Johnson,
2008) and ‘coercive control’ (Stark, 2007)
SCV is triggered by factors such as poor conflict resolution skills or stress
Coercive control is caused by one partner striving to control and subordinate the
other
Coercive control is a particularly harmful form of domestic abuse, it is the type
of DA that people tend to seek help for, and is usually perpetrated by males
(Myhill, 2015; Lehmann et al, 2012; Hester, 2009)
What is coercive control-based domestic abuse?
katze@hope.ac.uk
Coercive control can involve:
verbal, emotional and psychological abuse
control of time, space and movement
continual monitoring, including by stalking
rape, sexual coerciveness and control of pregnancy
financial abuse and the denial of resources
isolation from sources of support
physical violence, intimidation and threats of violence against the
victim/survivor, their loved ones and property
(Matheson et al, 2015; Sanders, 2015; Thomas et al, 2014; Stark, 2007, 2009, 2012; Lehmann et al, 2012; Miller et al, 2010)
Gender and coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
Stark (2007) argues that coercive control is rooted in gender inequalities
It is women’s traditional roles that are chiefly targeted for coercive control. Male perpetrators seek to control how their
female partners clean, cook, mother, dress and perform sexually
The expectation that males be should in charge is deeply embedded in Western culture. This provides a supportive context
for males to coercively control and a hostile context for any females attempting such behaviour
For example, Bordo (2003) observes that the theme of control in Western advertising manifests very differently for men and
women: adverts encourage men to control others and women to control themselves
Masculinity and control in Western culture
katze@hope.ac.uk
5 facts about coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
1. Rather than arising from conflict or stress, coercive control is used to suppress
potential conflicts or challenges to perpetrators’ authority (Stark, 2007)
2. Although some perpetrators use physical violence frequently, others use little or
none; instead preferring to maintain dominance over their partner through
psychological abuse and the control of time, movement and activities
(Westmarland and Kelly, 2013; Johnson, 2008)
5 facts about coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
3. Victims/survivors tend to experience coercive control-based domestic abuse as ongoing and
cumulative, not as episodic (Morris, 2009; Stark, 2007, 2009)
4. Perpetrators of coercive control engage in minimising, denying and blaming others for their abusive
behaviours (Lehmann et al., 2012)
5. Perpetrators often claim to be the real victim in the relationship (Bancroft et al., 2012; Morris,
2009) and can present themselves as charming and heroic (Morris, 2009; Stark, 2007)
Impacts of coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
Well known impacts on physical and mental health (see Dillon et al, 2013)
Westmarland and Kelly (2013) highlight that coercive control also limits adult
victims’/survivors’ ‘space for action’ - that is their freedom to say and do things
and to meet their own needs without worry or fear
As perpetrators microregulate their everyday behaviours, adult victims’/survivors’
options, choices and ability to decide for themselves diminish further and further
(Stark, 2007)
Children in these families also frequently suffer from limited opportunities to
choose, to feel free, and to develop a sense of independence and competence (Katz,
2016)
Impacts of coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
Constraints on their freedom, autonomy and voice contribute to
disempowerment, loss of self and loss of confidence in adult victims/survivors
(Matheson et al, 2015; Westmarland and Kelly, 2013)
Empowering and rebuilding confidence are therefore important strands of
work with victims/survivors
Katz’s research suggests that this is the case for children as well as adult
victims/survivors – children need to be empowered too (Katz, 2016)
(Lack of) research into children and coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
Vast majority of research into children and domestic abuse has focused on their exposure to ‘incidents’ or
‘episodes’ of physical violence (Holden, 2003; Buckley et al, 2007; Overlien and Hyden, 2009; Stanley, 2011;
Jaffe et al, 2012; Clarke and Wydall, 2015, Overlien, 2016)
This is limiting because physical violence is only one element of coercive control
and is sometimes not used by perpetrators/fathers at all
Katz’s (2016) research considered the non-physical forms of coercive control that children live with when
their father/father figure perpetrates domestic abuse against their mother
Mothers
katze@hope.ac.uk
Mothers are often wrongly held accountable (and hold themselves accountable) for the impacts of
domestic abuse on their children
It is vital to remember that mothers are victims of coercive control too
Perpetrators trap mothers and children in ‘un-realities’ shaped by manipulations, distortions, excuses,
minimisations and denials designed to keep them confused
There is also very little wider social awareness of coercive control – instead British society is
generally pro-father, pro-‘in-tact’ families, and pro-gender roles that normalise male power
In these circumstances, mothers living with men’s/fathers’ coercive control cannot be expected to
recognise the impacts that it is having on children – mothers require multi-layered supports to enable
this recognition
Introducing Katz’s study
Interviewed 15 mothers and 15 children (total: 30)
Children’s ages ranged from 10 to 20
Interviewed 9 girls, 6 boys
12/15 perpetrators were the children’s father
Interviewees contacted through organisations such as Women’s Aid
All interviewees were living in the community
For the full study see: http://eprints.nottingham.ac.uk/28456/1/FINAL%20Katz%20Thesis%2010.02.2015.pdf
katze@hope.ac.uk
Findings
Children were effected by many forms of coercive
control beyond the physical violence against their
mother, including:
Control of time and movement within the home
Deprivation of resources and imprisonment
Isolation from the outside world
katze@hope.ac.uk
Control of time and movement
Perpetrators/fathers demanded high levels of attention from mothers at the
expense of children:
‘[My daughter] Leah used to want me to sit and brush her hair – that wasn’t
allowed because he’d be jealous. He’d say things like: ‘You’ve spent enough
attention on her, what about my attention?’ (Marie, mother)
‘When Mum was giving me attention he’d tell her to go over to him so she’d have
to leave me to play by myself.’ (Shannon, aged 10)
katze@hope.ac.uk
Control of time and movement
katze@hope.ac.uk
Perpetrators’/fathers’ coercive control limited the amount of
maternal attention children could enjoy and reduced the
opportunities for fun and affection in their homes
Children described feeling sad, annoyed and angry at these
ongoing situations
This contributed to the withdrawn or aggressive behaviours that
most of the children in Katz’s study displayed during the domestic
abuse
Isolation from the outside world
When perpetrators/fathers controlled mothers’ movements outside the home this
severely restricted children’s social lives. It prevented them from engaging with
wider family, peers and extra-curricular activities:
‘They [the kids] couldn’t have any friends round because he’d kick off or something.
Kids’ parties were another problem because he’d be accusing me of trying to ‘get off’
with one of the dads, so parties were out the question. We couldn’t do any after school
clubs because I had to be back by a certain time. Me and the kids weren’t allowed to go
round to see their grandparents.’ (Isobel, mother)
katze@hope.ac.uk
Isolation from the outside world
‘I got to the stage where I didn’t go out apart from to the supermarket. I’d panic and
I’ve have to come home or I’d be scared of missing a [housework] job. I just didn’t go
out at the end so then the children didn’t go out. It was just school and home, school
and home.
When he was at home at the weekend if I suggested us going out to the park he would
moan that he’d been at work all week.
So they missed out on days out, family trips, just day to day going out and socialising
with people. And they’ve missed out on knowing what healthy relationships are about
in other families because children don’t make as many friendships if you don’t mix
with other mums, so they’ve missed out on all that.’ (Marie, mother)
katze@hope.ac.uk
Isolation from the outside world
katze@hope.ac.uk
The isolation that children lived with as a result of perpetrators’/fathers’ controlling tactics severely limited their
opportunities to create resilience-building relationships with non-abusive people outside their immediate family
The multiple benefits that positive experiences with grandparents, friends or in after-school clubs can have on
children’s social skills, confidence and development were denied to these children
To help to repair this, building the skills, confidence and opportunities to socialise and explore the wider world
should be incorporated into recovery work with children who have lived with coercive control-based DA
Deprivation of resources and imprisonment
Extreme tactics for depriving the family of freedom, independence and resources impacted
on children as well as mothers:
‘Eloise (mother): He’d tell us we couldn’t touch the food in the fridge, that we weren’t allowed to eat,
he’d lock us in the house a lot of the time so we couldn’t get out, he’d unplug the phone…
John (aged 20): …He’d take out the power because in the hall we’ve got an old electrical box where you
can take things out and that’s it - you’ve got no power…
Eloise (mother): …He used to take an element out the central heating so we’d have no heating. He’d lock
us in the house and go out. He’d take the modem so John couldn’t do his homework and I couldn’t do my
banking on the computer. So we were prisoners in a way.’
katze@hope.ac.uk
Deprivation of resources and imprisonment
katze@hope.ac.uk
These tactics highlight how some perpetrators/fathers directly and purposefully extend
their coercive controlling abuse over their children as well as their girlfriend/wife
Experiencing this abuse is likely to contribute to poor physical and mental health in
children and poor achievement in school
Rather than seeing the perpetrator’s/father’s treatment of the adult victim as domestic
abuse and their treatment of the child victim as child abuse, both adults and children
could be seen as victims of his regime of coercive control. Coercive control could be
usefully seen as a form of child abuse.
Resistance to coercive control
Both children and mothers engaged in acts of resistance to the coercive
control they experienced
Possibilities for resistance depended on the opportunities that children
and mothers had under the particular regimes of coercive control that
fathers/father figures imposed
Resistance often took the form of finding ways to maintain elements of
‘normal life’ and close mother-child relationships when possible
katze@hope.ac.uk
Resisting deprivation of resources
‘Eloise (mother): We did things together. When we went to the pictures or we went
shopping we could just ‘let our hair down’ and do what we wanted to do. We were
going to the cinema 2-3 times a week to get out of the house.
John (aged 20): When we would come back with shopping bags, sometimes we had
to hide them…
E: …because he would go mad that I’d spent money on John. We used to throw the
bags over the hedge…
J: …into the garden, so he wouldn’t see them.’
katze@hope.ac.uk
Resisting control of time and movement
‘Well, some days he would be out, and me and Mum would watch a movie and have some time
together [which he wouldn’t let us do when he was at home]. I used to help cook tea with my mum
because I enjoy cooking so we’d, like, help each other.’ (Katie, aged 12)
‘On those days when we were alone we would snuggle up on the
sofa and watch films together, and we always
emotionally supported each other then.’ (Ruby, mother)
katze@hope.ac.uk
Resisting emotional distress
‘He always made her [daughter] sleep on her own you see, but she
wouldn’t go to sleep without me being next to her, so I’d wait for him to
go to sleep and then I’d get in next to her or she’d get in next to me.’
(Ellie, mother)
‘When he had a tantrum and went off to the pub then I’d just comfort
Mum and hug her and she’d hug me as well.’ (Shannon, aged 10)
‘When we were locked in the house and Mum was upset I would hug her
and tell her it was going to be okay.’ (Roxie, aged 11)
katze@hope.ac.uk
Resisting coercive control
katze@hope.ac.uk
Mothers and children found opportunities to promote each other’s well-being and reduce the
negative impacts of the domestic abuse - this was the case even when much of their lives were
being overrun by perpetrators’/fathers’ coercive control
By defying perpetrators’/fathers’ control when possible, children and mothers maintained some
sense of autonomy and prevented perpetrators/fathers from gaining total control over them
Highlighting the ways that they resisted can help mothers and children to recognise their
strengths and see that they were not passive victims
Recovery happens
‘Now we just have a laugh and they’re being kids and I’m being a mum so they’ve got boundaries and
stuff…Now we can just sit together and spend time together…I’d say we’re considerate of each other,
we’re sensitive to each other’s feelings and emotions and I’d say we have fun.’ (Isobel, mother)
‘[My daughter] Shannon always says she thinks I’m brave, which is really good, and she’s so proud of
me for going to court, and she’s so proud of my volunteer work, and she obviously thinks I’m a very
important person. I am [important] in her world; it’s just lovely.’ (Ellie, mother)
‘We just love life at the moment. It’s brought us all closer and we’re all much happier that we were then,
because then we were all dull and didn’t like life much, and now we’re all happy. We feel we can do
anything we want.’ (Katie, aged 12)
‘My relationship with mum is loving, caring, I wouldn’t change it for anything.’ (Joe, aged 14)
Conclusions
katze@hope.ac.uk
Children are victims/survivors of coercive control – they are harmed by it and can also
act to resist it
In addition to safety, victims of coercive control need support to gain/regain their
confidence and sense of empowerment – this applies to children as well as adult
victims
As coercive control is increasingly recognised, children’s experiences of it must not be
left invisible
Like adult victims/survivors, children need safety from coercive control, help to
recover from it, and justice for the crimes that have been committed against them
References
katze@hope.ac.uk
Bancroft L, Silverman JG, Ritchie D. 2012. The batterer as parent: addressing the impact of domestic violence on family dynamics. 2nd edn. Sage: London.
Bordo, S. 2003. Unbearable Weight: Feminism, Western Culture and the Body. London: University of California Press.
Buckley H, Holt S, Whelan S. 2007. Listen to me! children’s experiences of domestic violence. Child Abuse Review 16(5): 296–310.
Clarke P, Wydall S. 2015. From ‘rights to action’: practitioners’ perceptions of the needs of children experiencing domestic violence. Child and Family Social Work 20: 181–190.
Hester M. 2009. Who does what to whom?: gender and domestic violence perpetrators. University of Bristol in association with the Northern Rock Foundation: Bristol.
Holden GW. 2003. Children exposed to domestic violence and child abuse: terminology and taxonomy. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review 6: 151–160.
Jaffe P, Wolfe DA, Campbell M. 2012. Growing up with domestic violence: assessment, intervention, and prevention strategies for children and adolescents. Hogrefe: Gottingen.
Johnson M. 2008. A typology of domestic violence: intimate terrorism, violent resistance, and situational couple violence. Northeastern University Press: Boston.
Katz, E. 2016. Beyond the physical incident model: how children living with domestic violence are harmed by and resist regimes of coercive control, Child Abuse Review, vol. 25 (1): 46-
59.
Lehmann P, Simmons CA, Pillai VK. 2012. The validation of the checklist of controlling behaviors (CCB): assessing coercive control in abusive relationships. Violence Against Women
18: 913–933.
Matheson FI, Daoud N, Hamilton-Wright S, Borenstein H, Pedersen C, O’Campo P. 2015. Where did she go? The transformation of self-esteem, self-identity, and mental well-being
among women who have experienced intimate partner violence. Women’s Health Issues 25(5): 561–569.
References
katze@hope.ac.uk
Miller E, Decker MR, McCauley HL, Tancredi DJ, Levenson RR, Waldman J, Schoenwal P, Silverman JG. 2010. Pregnancy coercion, intimate
partner violence, and unintended pregnancy. Contraception 81: 316–322.
Morris A. 2009. Gendered dynamics of abuse and violence in families: considering the abusive household gendered regime. Child Abuse
Review 18(6): 414–487.
Myhill A. 2015. Measuring coercive control: what can we learn from national population Surveys? Violence Against Women 21: 355–375.
Overlien C, Hyden M. 2009. Children’s actions when experiencing domestic violence. Childhood 16: 479–496.
Overlien, C. 2016. ‘Do you want to do some arm wrestling?’: children’s strategies when experiencing domestic violence and the meaning of
age. Child and Family Social Work Early View
Sanders CK. 2015. Economic abuse in the lives of women abused by an intimate partner: a qualitative study. Violence Against Women 21: 3–29.
Stanley N. 2011. Children experiencing domestic violence: a research review. Research in Practice: Dartington.
Stark E. 2007. Coercive control: how men entrap women in personal life. Oxford University Press: Oxford.
Stark E. 2009. Rethinking custody evaluation in cases involving domestic violence. Journal of Child Custody 6: 287–321.
Stark E. 2012. Looking beyond domestic violence: policing coercive control. Journal of Police Crisis Negotiations 12: 199–217.
Thomas KA, Joshi M, Sorenson SB. 2014. ‘Do you know what it feels like to drown?’: strangulation as coercive control in intimate
relationships. Psychology of Women Quarterly 38: 124–137.
Westmarland N, Kelly L. 2013. Why extending measurements of ‘success’ in domestic violence perpetrator programmes matters for social
work. British Journal of Social Work 43: 1092–1110.
Thank you
Dr Emma Katz
katze@hope.ac.uk
#DrEmmaKatz
katze@hope.ac.uk