Buying the Girlfriend Experience: An Exploration of the Consumption Experiences of Male Customers of Escorts

Abstract

Purpose – The purpose of this research is to explore the experiences of male customers of escorts who provide a sexual service known as the “girlfriend experience” or GFE.
Methodology/approach – A combination of depth interviews and netnography is used to study how men experience the GFE.
Findings – Unlike most customer-prostitute encounters, the GFE involves more than the exchange of money for sex; to derive the full value of the experience, the consumer must not only pay the escort but must also provide her with sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy. The resulting encounter is more romantic and intimate than purely sexual in nature. Findings are organized around three central themes: consumption of covert (i.e., secretive) pleasure, consumer fantasies, and the ways in which consumers cocreate value in the consumption experience.
Originality/value of the chapter – This research explores how consumers engage in a form of consumption that has been largely overlooked by consumer researchers, and how consumers experience the blurring of boundaries between purely transactional service encounters and those that entail a deeper connection between provider and consumer. In addition to shedding light on this consumption context in the form of description, this research illuminates some aspects of GFE consumption that are theoretically interesting (beyond the context itself) to consumer researchers.

Full text

BUYING THE GIRLFRIEND
EXPERIENCE: AN EXPLORATION
OF THE CONSUMPTION
EXPERIENCES OF MALE
CUSTOMERS OF ESCORTS
Aimee Dinnin Huff
ABSTRACT
Purpose – The purpose of this research is to explore the experiences of
male customers of escorts who provide a sexual service known as the
‘‘girlfriend experience’’ or GFE.
Methodology/approach – A combination of depth interviews and
netnography is used to study how men experience the GFE.
Findings – Unlike most customer-prostitute encounters, the GFE involves
more than the exchange of money for sex; to derive the full value of the
experience, the consumer must not only pay the escort but must also
provide her with sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy. The resulting
encounter is more romantic and intimate than purely sexual in nature.
Findings are organized around three central themes: consumption of
covert (i.e., secretive) pleasure, consumer fantasies, and the ways in
which consumers cocreate value in the consumption experience.
Research in Consumer Behavior, Volume 13, 111–126
Copyright r2011 by Emerald Group Publishing Limited
All rights of reproduction in any form reserved
ISSN: 0885-2111/doi:10.1108/S0885-2111(2011)0000013010
111

Originality/value of the chapter – This research explores how consumers
engage in a form of consumption that has been largely overlooked by
consumer researchers, and how consumers experience the blurring of
boundaries between purely transactional service encounters and those that
entail a deeper connection between provider and consumer. In addition to
shedding light on this consumption context in the form of description, this
research illuminates some aspects of GFE consumption that are
theoretically interesting (beyond the context itself) to consumer
researchers.
Keywords: Consumer cocreation; fantasies; pleasure; value; sex work;
experiential consumption
Cuddling and talking – we shared interests, but most importantly, she made me feel like
there was no other place she would rather be in that moment in time. (Lub, Montreal)
The informant who posted this comment is not referring to his wife or
girlfriend, but to an encounter with a female sex worker – an escort – with
whom he shared a particular type of commercial sex encounter known as the
girlfriend experience (GFE). As the focus of this chapter, the GFE differs
from other types of commercial sex encounters in that it involves more than
the exchange of money for sex; to derive the true value of the GFE, the male
customer must not only pay the sex worker but must also provide her with
sexual pleasure and emotional intimacy. The result is that the encounter
feels, to him, more like a romantic encounter with a girlfriend than straight-
up sex. For an hour or two, or perhaps an entire evening, the customer
indulges in his fantasies of a romantic encounter with a legitimate girlfriend
and seeks to be perceived as a nice guy by the escort. This context provides
the basis for an examination of the ways in which consumers engage in a
form of consumption that has been largely overlooked by consumer
researchers and how consumers experience the blurring of boundaries
between purely transactional service encounters and those that entail a
deeper connection between provider and consumer. In addition to shedding
light on this consumption context in the form of description, I seek to
illuminate some aspects of GFE consumption that are theoretically
interesting (beyond the context itself) to consumer researchers in general
and to Consumer Culture Theory researchers in particular.
The purpose of this chapter is to explore the experiences of male
customers of escorts who provide GFE. In doing so, I offer a deeper
understanding of the consumption of covert pleasure, consumer fantasies,
AIMEE DINNIN HUFF112

and the ways in which consumers cocreate value in the consumption
experience. Although different forms of prostitution exist, I am explicitly
concerned with indoor prostitution, which encompasses call girls, escort
services, and massage parlor workers. The motivation for this focus is two-
fold. First, there is substantially less research on indoor prostitution, in
comparison with street prostitution. Second, and more important for this
consumer research, ‘‘indoor [commercial sex] interactions are typically
longer, multifaceted, and more reciprocal’’ than interactions between street
prostitutes and their customers (Weitzer, 2009, p. 220). Therefore, the
experiences of male customers of indoor prostitutes are more likely to be
characteristic of a romantic, intimate encounter with a partner (Malarek,
2009;Sanders, 2008) and therefore be of greater curiosity to consumer
researchers interested in the blurring of boundaries between commercial
transactions and social relationships. Furthermore, I take a rather narrow
perspective on sex work. I am explicitly concerned with consumption of
prostitution services in a context where use of such services is legal, and I
choose to focus on a context where sex workers are more likely to be
employed of their own free will (Weitzer, 2009). Accordingly, I study johns
in Canada, where the exchange of money for sex is not prohibited by law,
and I study prostitution services provided by independently employed
women who are less likely to have been forced into the industry by a third
party. I acknowledge, however, that the sex industry is plagued by a host of
legal, moral, and social issues and that this study does not attempt to
explore these aspects of the sex industry in any depth.
PROSTITUTION AND THE GIRLFRIEND
EXPERIENCE
The sex industry in North America is, no doubt, large. However, due to the
illicit or secretive nature of producing or consuming within this industry, it
is not possible to accurately estimate the figures related to revenues,
frequency and type of interactions, or number and type of people involved.
Monto (2004), in his review of sex research, suggests that approximately
15–20% of American men have visited a prostitute in their lifetime, and
payments can range from a few dollars for a brief interaction with a street
prostitute to several hundred or thousands of dollars for an evening with a
reputable call girl (Malarek, 2009). Research on prostitution has primarily
focused on the supply side (i.e., the prostitutes themselves) and devoted
Buying the Girlfriend Experience 113

substantially less attention to the customers (i.e., the johns) (Holt & Blevins,
2007;Weitzer, 2000). In this section, I review literature on indoor
prostitution, johns, and the GFE.
Indoor Prostitution
Indoor prostitutes, in comparison with their streetwalking counterparts,
generally operate in private premises or in hotels rather than in cars, parks,
or alleys; charge higher prices; are less likely to be exploited by third parties;
are less likely to be victims of violence; have little or no public visibility in
their course of work; and report higher levels of job satisfaction and self-
esteem – assuming that they have not been forced into prostitution (Weitzer,
2009). Indoor prostitutes are typically independently employed, and
customers contact them directly through their web pages and advertisements
or through a referral system, agency, or madam.
Broadly speaking, interactions between customers and indoor prostitutes
are more likely to involve conversation, affection, and reciprocal sexual
pleasure than are interactions between customers and street prostitutes
(Lever & Dolnick, 2000). This is reflective of the broad trends in late modern
society, where emotional intimacy has become a critical component of the
exchange in commercial sex work (Frank, 2002). This emotional intimacy,
however, is temporally bound by the duration of the service encounter,
creating a form of bounded authenticity; indoor sex workers seek to provide
an ‘‘authentic emotional and physical connection’’ with customers, but this
connection is necessarily contained within the short-term transaction
(Bernstein, 2007, p. 193). With the exception of some ethnographic work
(Frank, 2002), and mainstream media reports (McLaren, 2010), there
remains a lack of understanding of the ways that indoor sex work evokes
and involves the fantasies and pleasure of male customers, particularly as
these fantasies relate to emotional intimacy and romance as opposed to
specific sexual acts.
The Johns
Research on johns often does not discriminate between customers of street
prostitutes and of indoor prostitutes (e.g., Holt & Blevins, 2007; Malarek,
2009). Johns are typically male and employed (Monto, 2004), but there is
otherwise considerable variation among them. They can be young or old,
AIMEE DINNIN HUFF114

married or single, professional or blue-collar, outgoing or shy, liberal or
conservative, and so on (Lowman & Atchison, 2009;Macleod, Farley,
Anderson, & Golding, 2008;Sawyer, Metz, Hinds, & Brucker, 2001).
However, while the typical john does not exist in terms of personal profile,
(Holzman & Pines, 1990;Malarek, 2009), Monto (2004) cautions that
characterizing johns as normal can reinforce the cultural myths that paying
for sex is a normal part of masculine sexuality. In fact, only a minority of
men ever seek the services of a prostitute (Monto, 2004), and those who do
are generally very concerned with keeping their ‘‘dirty little secret’’ from the
‘‘real world’’ (Malarek, 2009, p. 184).
Prior research has shown that johns’ motivations include the desire for
specific types of sexual experiences (e.g., acts/behaviors and physical
characteristics of a partner), the thrill of an illicit behavior, the desire to
avoid the commitment or attachment required in conventional intimate
relationships, or the desire to overcome personal difficulties in meeting new
partners (Monto, 2000;Weitzer, 2005). In fact, many johns place a high
value on commercial sexual encounters that are infused with romance and
intimacy – such as the GFE, which entails affection, conversation, and more
generous amounts of time than sex alone (Malarek, 2009).
Use of indoor prostitution involves an interesting overlap between
economic exchange and interpersonal relationships in a consumption
context. Sanders (2008, p. 401) found that the traditional male sexual
script – a ‘‘set of shared conventions based on mutual dependency’’ – was
evident in the relationships between regular clients and escort workers. In
many ways, the commercial sexual relationship was qualitatively similar to
conventional intimate relationships in terms of emotions, behavior, and
commitment (Sanders, 2008). This is consistent with prior research on johns,
which revealed johns’ propensities to consciously foster a good rapport with
escorts during sexual encounters (Holzman & Pines, 1990), and supports the
notion that commercial sexual relations can be characterized by physical and
emotional intimacy (Zelizer, 2005). Recent research on escort workers has
shown that customers actively seek emotional connection; physical intimacy
is no longer sufficient, and customers desire elements of emotional intimacy
that are traditionally characteristic of socially legitimate relationships such
as dating and courtship (Bernstein, 2007;McLaren, 2010). However, this
exchange is a short-term phenomenon, and ‘‘one of the chief virtues of
commercial sexual exchange is that the encounter is clear and bounded’’
(Bernstein, 2007, p. 193). That is, the emotional and physical connection fills
an intermediate space between physical pleasure and authentic, romantic
relationships (Frank, 2002).
Buying the Girlfriend Experience 115

The Girlfriend Experience
The GFE has emerged as a commercial experience that blurs the boundaries
between a financial transaction and a romantic relationship (Bernstein,
2007). Within the sex industry, ‘‘GFE’’ is a common term for a type of
sexual encounter in which both the escort and the john are willing to engage
in reciprocal sexual pleasure and some degree of emotional intimacy. Not all
escorts provide GFE, and not all johns want GFE. Escorts that do offer
GFE explicitly advertise GFE on their web pages and advertisements,
although the nuances of what constitutes GFE are debated by escorts and
johns alike. In this research, I have chosen to focus my inquiry on GFE
because it necessarily involves more than a simple exchange of money for
sex; johns who seek GFE are looking for a sexual experience where they
must provide emotional intimacy and pleasure in addition to monetary
payment for service.
METHOD
The research question guiding this study is: what are the consumers’
experiences in this context? I began by attempting to describe how johns
experience, think about, and reflect on the GFE. I then sought to advance
this descriptive account by making linkages to extant consumer research.
To address the research question, I gathered data from personal
interviews and from a purely observational netnography. I sought Canadian
informants for both stages of data collection, because prostitution – in and
of itself – is legal in Canada. (There are illegal related aspects, as in
‘‘communicating for the purposes of prostitution’’ and ‘‘operating a
common bawdy house,’’ but paying money for sex is not illegal). Informants
for interviews were recruited using ads on Craigslist and a weekly
entertainment newspaper that is published online and in print, both of
which are based in Toronto. These sites were used because they both
commonly advertise escort services. Interviews took place over Skype and
typically lasted about two hours.
The netnographic stage of data collection was conducted at the same time
as the interviews. Using the approaches for data collection and analysis
prescribed by Kozinets (2010), I explored online discussion forums wherein
men discussed the experiences they had had with escorts, and I viewed ads
for escort services. The web sites were operated by informal escort review
boards in Montreal, Toronto, Calgary, and Vancouver. One American
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escort review site was also used. I selected discussion boards where the term
‘‘GFE’’ was used, reviewed hundreds of postings, and catalogued those
postings that were particularly insightful and illuminating. Data analysis
involved iterative processes of coding, comparison, and tacking back and
forth between theory and data.
I elected to supplement the interview data with netnographic data because
the online conversations between johns were particularly revealing of the
experiential aspects of GFE consumption. As a female researcher, I found
that the interview data lacked the same degree of richness; johns were very
open about their experiences, but did not speak at length or unprompted
about GFE. The netnographic data provided much more vivid insight into
johns’ experiences with GFE by allowing for an understanding of this
consumption experience within its appropriate social context (Goulding,
2003), and, as the project has developed, I used interviews to refine and
enhance the netnographic findings. Additional data collection, analysis, and
peer debriefing are ongoing.
FINDINGS
The findings are organized around three central consumption themes: covert
pleasure, cocreation of value, and consumer fantasies. Before presenting
these findings, I more explicitly address what constitutes GFE to better
contextualize the data.
As noted earlier, there is considerable debate among escorts and johns as
to what constitutes GFE. The details are important to both parties because
escorts’ web pages and advertisements are very explicit in regard to the acts
and services that the individual escort will provide. These details are
provided in the form of acronyms, and they function to manage
expectations of the customers. For example, an escort may indicate that
her services include light French kissing (‘‘LFK’’), deep French kissing
(‘‘DFK’’), or no kissing at all (no acronym would appear).
Specific acts that involve sexual pleasure for the escort, as well as
unprotected sexual acts, are characteristically associated with GFE.
However, the data analysis indicated that most johns believe that these
services, alone, are not sufficient to constitute a GFE. For example, one
john notes that GFE is not defined by the ‘‘physical things [e.g., specific
services provided by the escort, as indicated by acronyms] but rather the
connection, the emotional side we call the illusion of passion’’ (Das, USA).
Another john states, ‘‘to me, GFE isn’t just about the activities. It is about
Buying the Girlfriend Experience 117

the feeling/emotional part of the session – real or not’’ (Bub, USA). The
debate over what constitutes GFE hinges on the ideal combination of
specific acts and the intangible nature of the emotional connection between
the two parties – even if both parties are cognizant that the emotional
connection is not legitimate in the same way that it is between conventional
sexual partners. Furthermore, these debates clearly indicate that johns
typically have more difficulty describing exactly what comprises the
emotional component of the GFE and even more difficulty discerning from
an escort’s web page whether she is able to provide an acceptable degree of
emotional connection. As a result, many johns’ discussion forums are
devoted to evaluating specific escorts’ abilities or inclinations to provide this
intangible component of GFE.
Covert Pleasure
GFE is defined by covert pleasure – a combination of emotional and
physical intimacy in a context where consumption is socially contentious
and often kept secret. In consumer research, pleasure has been conceptua-
lized as hedonic and involving intensely emotional experiences (Holbrook &
Hirschman, 1982). Prior consumer research on pleasure has generally
focused on the social nature of pleasure and revealed how pleasure is
intensified when it is experienced collectively (Belk & Costa, 1998;Goulding,
Shankar, Elliott, & Canniford, 2009). In contrast, in this study, I explore
how consumers experience pleasure when it is consumed alone and in a
decidedly non-collective context, and I focus on the ways in which the
pleasurable and secretive aspects of the GFE interact to create a satisfying
consumption experience.
My informants describe their experiences with GFE with an emphasis on
the emotional and hedonic aspects of the encounters, rather than on the
explicitly sexual nature of the encounter. For example, Zed (Toronto) spoke
at length about his desire to form an ‘‘ongoing connection’’ with an escort,
because ‘‘sex is better with feelings; otherwise I might as well be doing a
couch!’’ He seeks GFEs that are ‘‘less mechanical’’ and feel more like dating.
Thus, the hedonic appeal of the GFE involves more than sexual release for
the john; it necessarily entails a significant degree of emotional pleasure,
which is derived as the john forms an emotional connection with the escort
and is able to provide her with physical pleasure.
As it relates to consumption experiences, pleasure can become cyclical –
the consumer can derive pleasure from anticipating, experiencing, and
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reflecting on the encounter (Le Bel & Dube, 1998). This is also clear in the
data. For example, one informant presented his list of criteria for a GFE:
1. You await her arrival with slightly nervous anticipation.
2. When she arrives, you can feel almost immediately that you’ve made the right choice.
3. She seems to enjoy it as much as you do.
4. You lose track of time and never look at the clock.
5. The session is over far too soon.
6. You’re sorry to see her leave. (I know some guys joke that we pay them to leave, but I
don’t feel that way at all with a GFE escort.)
7. It didn’t feel at all like you paid for it.
8. You can’t wait to see her again.
Having said all that, to me, it’s never a GFE without [French kissing and other
reciprocal physical pleasure]. (Rev, Montreal)
Rev reveals that he derives pleasure before, during, and after the GFE and
that this form of pleasure is intertwined with the more physical pleasure
associated with sexual activities. Another informant notes that it is the
combination of physical and emotional connection that makes a GFE so
appealing and confesses that the emotional intimacy is addictive – so much
so that he wonders if he should focus instead on sexual release:
I see the almost constant refrain of GFE being about a list of acronyms, a series of
physical activities. That is not what the GFE experience is about. [GFE] is an experience
one walks away from momentarily physically satisfied but almost immediately mentally
disappointed. It is an experience after which one truly asks himself if masturbation is not
a more efficient means to an end. (Jag, USA)
GFE is pleasurable for the john, but it is also a covert form of
consumption. By this I mean that the consumption of prostitution services is
typically a secretive endeavor because it is socially contentious and carries
some degree of physical risk. I refrain from using the term ‘‘dark side’’ of
consumption to avoid value judgments, but I do acknowledge that the use of
prostitution services certainly constitutes a cultural taboo. The covert nature
of the consumption is not unimportant, because it adds to the overall
hedonic appeal. This is consistent with prior research on strip club patrons,
who experienced a hedonic rush from engaging in behavior that was
considered taboo, even though not illegal (Frank, 2002).
I find that there are two dimensions to the secretive nature of GFE
consumption: cultural taboo and physical risk. The vast majority of johns
do not make their behavior known to their family or friends and are fully
aware of the socially contentious nature of prostitution, regardless of
whether they are in countries where it is legal or illegal (Malarek, 2009). For
Buying the Girlfriend Experience 119

example, Zed’s friends do not know that he sees escorts: ‘‘I keep it REALLY
discreet;’’ he is not prepared for his peers to judge him for his choices.
Similarly, many johns acknowledge that the online discussion forums are
the only places they feel comfortable sharing their views and experiences
with escorts. Indeed, discretion is a hallmark of the industry, for johns and
escorts alike (McLaren, 2010).
In addition to the taboo of prostitution, GFE consumption involves
secrecy related to risk-taking in a physical sense. Many GFE activities
involve risk to the escort and the john in the form of kissing and other
unprotected sexual activities, and many johns express concerns with taking
risks with their physical health:
Worry about yourself and decide your own level of risk. A condom can break during
[sex]. That could be the one time you get screwed. All promiscuous behaviour has a
high level of risk. The average [escort] sees between 2–5 guys a day. If you’re that
worried about an STI, get a girlfriend or get married. This is a high risk hobby. (Geo,
Vancouver)
Other johns acknowledge the risk, but also reveal that the risk is an essential
component of the pleasure associated with GFE:
Man it’s the truth. We are all living on the edge, myself included with my selfish [desire to
receive unprotected oral sex]. But it’s like Travolta in Pulp Fiction when he says
‘‘Yeah ybut steak tastes good!’’ (Nyl, Montreal)
Thus, the social taboo and physical risks play a large role in GFE
consumption and are closely intertwined with the pleasurable aspects (Celsi,
Rose, & Leigh, 1993). These findings are consistent with prior research on
illicit pleasure, which found that service providers can still effectively
provide pleasure within legally prohibited consumption spheres (Goulding
et al., 2009). I expand on this by revealing that the pleasurable and covert
dimensions of GFE are key components of consumption. The thrill of GFE
is a flow experience; the john’s total immersion in the high-risk context
provides a cathartic and highly satisfying end state, which he seeks to
experience again and which he seeks to master (Celsi et al., 1993).
Cocreating the Experience
Deriving value – in the form of emotional and physical pleasure – from
the GFE requires the john to give more than money. He is compelled to give
a short-term commitment of emotional and physical intimacy, and he
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becomes accountable for his own level of pleasure in the consumption
experience. That is, he derives pleasure from ensuring that the escort has a
pleasurable experience and from adequately performing his role in the GFE
such that he can form a temporary emotional connection with her. I explore
this phenomenon from the perspective of service-dominant logic and value
cocreation (Vargo & Lusch, 2004).
In this context, value is experientially determined and has a phenomen-
ological nature; it can be conceptualized as the consumer’s perceptions or
higher-level needs that are met when he establishes a connection between
himself and the service provider (Vargo & Lusch, 2008). The escort, as a
service provider, mobilizes a set of knowledge and skills in the service
encounter. The john, then, interacts with her in such a way that he derives
value-in-use; he functions as an active participant in the value creation
process (Vargo & Lusch, 2004). In this way, GFE differs from most other
types of commercial sex encounters, which tend to focus on male sexual
release in exchange for money.
Zed makes a primitive contrast between these more commercial
transactions and cocreated value in the GFE. In his experiences, escorts
who do not provide true GFE are not capable of providing him with the
experience he is looking for: ‘‘you’re nothing but a client to them, so it’s
more like business as opposed to intimacy.’’ In an intimate GFE, Zed
looks for clues that the escort is comfortable: ‘‘you notice little things like
she’s enjoying herself, not really watching the clock or anything like that, is
pretty open in terms of what she is and isn’t comfortable with.’’ It is
important to him that she enjoys herself, both physically and emotionally,
‘‘otherwise there’s really no fun in it. I might as well take matters into my
own hand!’’
Thus, the consumer takes an active role in cocreating value during the
consumption experience (Payne, Storbacka, & Frow, 2008). He is obliged to
take responsibility for his own overall pleasure by striving to perform his
role in the encounter. Many informants stress the importance of reciprocal
pleasure in GFE, because the value of the experience is contingent upon the
john being able to help the escort enjoy herself.
In the GFE I seek, I especially enjoy caring, high-touch intimacy, stroking, massaging,
holding her, caressing her, trying to relate to her inner spirit via tender touch, not a body
to have sex with. (Dev, Calgary)
GFE requires emotional and physical effort on the part of the john. Some
johns explicitly state that ‘‘GFE to me is only when a girl [reaches orgasm]’’
Buying the Girlfriend Experience 121

(Per, Toronto). Others are more vague, but clearly indicate their concern for
the escort to enjoy herself:
If there aren’t certain activities [where the john provides physical pleasure to the escort]
and a sincere connection between the two of us, the feeling won’t be there and the session
won’t be a GFE. (Blu, USA)
Johns are acutely aware that the pleasure from GFE is a function of their
own efforts and those of the escort. That is, the cocreation of value hinges
on the consumer functioning as a coproducer of the service (Vargo & Lusch,
2004). It is not surprising, then, that the words ‘‘sensuality’’ and ‘‘intimacy’’
are used frequently as johns talk about GFE, because these qualities of the
consumption experience cannot be achieved based on the efforts of one
party alone. One informant elaborates on these terms and reveals his desire
to be an active participant in the encounter. He contrasts GFE with PSE
(porn star experience), which is defined as focusing solely on male sexual
pleasure: ‘‘I love the sensuality [of the GFE] – kissing, touching,
exploration, mutual arousal, mental stimulation, a bit wild sex – but not
PSE!’’ (Xap, Montreal). Another informant is more explicit about his own
role in the GFE: ‘‘I believe having GFE is as dependent on the [john] as the
girl. If you’re not as presentable and thoughtful as she is, then your mileage
may vary even with girls who truly [offer] GFE’’ (Mak, Montreal).
The escort and the john have roles that both require and enable them to
create value together (Payne et al., 2008). Consistent with the concept of
value-in-use, the escort proposes value through her marketplace offerings,
and the john perpetuates the value creation during the consumption
experience (Vargo & Lusch, 2004). Following from this, I use the context of
GFE consumption to dig deeper into consumers’ reflexive accounts of their
roles in the value creation process.
Consumer Fantasies
Immersion in the fantasy of the girlfriend is critical to the GFE. As he works to
perform and cocreate value from the experience, the consumer engages in a
temporary escape from reality, wherein the norms of everyday life are
suspended (Goulding et al., 2009). The fantasy revolves around a romanti-
cized notion of what a girlfriend is, not the reality (Belk & Costa, 1998). Many
johns note – often humorously – that ‘‘real’’ girlfriends are nothing like GFE.
Rather, the GFE allows the john to experience the benefits of having a
romantic girlfriend without ‘‘all the drama:’’ an escort offering GFE merely:
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has to capture the fantasy of the girlfriend. If the reality was so great, the demand for
GFE services would decline dramatically. Half the men using escorts are married and
looking for what isn’t happening at home. (Sem, Montreal)
The pleasurable and hedonic aspects of consumption have been linked to
mastery of a leisure pursuit, meaning that good performance begets good
performance (Holbrook, Chestnut, Oliva, & Greenleaf, 1984). In this
context, the more adept the john becomes at immersing himself in the
fantasy and performing his role in the GFE, the more value he derives from
the experience, and the better he performs in subsequent GFEs. Many johns
report actively striving to separate fantasy from reality to fully immerse
themselves in pleasure. For example, Jay readily acknowledges that GFE
can allow him to temporarily escape reality:
Attitude is the most important thing. If the woman is skilled and caring enough about what
she does, and can make me think that I am the centre of her universe even for a very brief
time, then to me that is the GFE. It’s all about the fantasy. I can pretend for a short time
that this hot and responsive woman really cares about me, but at no time do I lose sight of
the reality. (Jay, Toronto; italics original)
Similarly, Zed is fully aware that his GFEs are an indulgence in fantasy:
‘‘at the end of the day you know what both parties are in it for, so
exchanging cash (or, more like me handing over the cash) isn’t a big deal.’’
His temporary escapes from reality are ‘‘mostly a mental thing,’’ where he
can immerse himself in a fantasy world. Johns are aware that the encounter
is structured by a commercial transaction, but seek escorts who can help
them to immerse in a short-term fantasy.
Other johns note, repeatedly, that much of the appeal of the GFE is that
‘‘we pay them to leave.’’ Thus, the GFE is a necessarily short-term fantasy
relationship:
No, it’s not reality, it’s fantasy. She’s not your real girlfriend and you are not her real
boyfriend but you both should be able to have the basic human emotions to play out the
fantasy that you are boyfriend/girlfriend. If you treat her as your girlfriend she should in
kind return that. If you treat her like a grocery list of sexual items, then don’t be pissed
when she treats you as a walking ATM machine and vice versa! Just remember that when
the time is up, it was just a grand orgasmic fantasy! (Nic, USA)
Gus (Toronto) stresses that the real GFE providers can provide an
‘‘illusion of passion and are a delight to be with.’’ He seeks GFE encounters
that are believably passionate and where he can immerse himself in the
fantasy during the encounter. The alternative is the encounter where the
escort is obviously acting: ‘‘there is a huge difference between being with a
GFE ‘illusion of passion’ versus being with a ‘mattress actress.’ The former
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is to be treasured while the latter is to be avoided at all costs’’ (Gus,
Toronto). Prior research has shown that leisure and fantasy are intertwined
in consumption contexts that are characterized as artificial and that have
explicit roles for actors (Fitchett, 2004). However, even though johns are
conscious that GFE is a performance on the part of both parties, they are
generally intolerant of substandard performances on the part of the escort.
If the escort is perceived to be unwilling or unable to adequately perform her
role, the john’s pleasure becomes compromised.
In this realm of fantasy, consumers derive pleasure from mastering the
challenges associated with the consumption itself (Belk & Costa, 1998). Johns
become more skilled at performing their own roles and at choosing escorts
who are able to perform the role of girlfriend. If and as the johns become more
skilled in these regards, they can maximize their pleasure by fully immersing
themselves in the consumption experience (Celsi et al., 1993).
DISCUSSION
In this study of GFE consumption, I seek to establish some preliminary
connections between a rather novel context and three existing streams of
consumer research. These connections provide the basis for further
development of this project and for future research in related areas. It will
be imperative for additional research to move beyond supporting these
existing research streams to presenting more refined theoretical develop-
ments. In this section, I discuss how this study might be further developed in
ways that would be interesting to consumer researchers.
A descriptive analysis of the data allows for a broader understanding of
experiential consumption in general, with a focus on how consumers
engage in play and fantasy to derive pleasure (Holbrook & Hirschman,
1982; Holbrook et al., 1984). I also establish a link between the secretive
dimension of GFE consumption and the pleasure derived from the
experience. The covert nature of some forms of consumption has been
largely overlooked in the literature, and a deeper understanding of how
johns manage and experience consumption in a secretive context might
shed light on other forms of consumption that are marked by strong social
norms, stigma, and regulation. Furthermore, there are developments to be
made in regard to high-risk leisure consumption, including how consumers
negotiate, normalize, and justify risk-taking.
In this study, I am also able to explore context effects in value creation. I
explore how resources and contextual elements that are not under control of
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the service provider or the consumer can play a role in how value is derived
(Vargo, Maglio, & Akaka, 2008) and develop some connections between
value cocreation, consumer fantasies, and pleasure. However, while a CCT
approach is useful for understanding ‘‘how consumers perform service with
firm-provided offerings’’ (Arnould, 2006, p. 294), additional work is
required to establish an innovative contribution to the cocreation literature.
An additional avenue for development is the blurring of boundaries
between socially legitimate intimate relationships and economic exchange.
The study of johns’ use of GFE is particularly well suited to an exploration
of how and why consumers turn to the marketplace to purchase relation-
ships that are traditionally associated with interpersonal rather than
transactional distinctions.
On a more practical note, it would be informative to focus on the ways in
which GFE consumption differs in accordance with the legal status of
prostitution. A cross-cultural examination of johns’ experiences might
reveal some interesting dimensions of consumption as it relates to regulatory
issues, and there may be some commonalities between this context and
others that are also more contemporary social issues (e.g., gun ownership
and recreational drug use).
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