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Spiritual awakening through the motherhood journey
Abstract
Motherhood is an opportunity for creative spiritualgrowth and transformation in women. This potential lies latent in the intense emotional experiences inherent in mothering which are designed to bej?ui+l and to accelerate spiritualdevelopment. We interviewedfirst-time mothers regarding the revelations they came t o via the challenging experiences of motherhood. Mothers describedthe lessons they learned as spurring a rebirth, as ifthey themselves were born, with new eyes, awakened t o a reality of life which they had not known before. They spoke in intense4 spiritual language even though at times they themselves did not acknowledge or realize it mirrored the basic spiritual tenants ofcompassion, patience, surrender, and Divine love. While listeningto their collective voices, we could not he^ but hear the universal story of the hero myth. In deciding to mother a child, women are in fact spiritual heroines called to the daunting adventure of motherhood, where through a series of trials they are brought forth into a richer, more mature condition. When occurring against a culturalbackdrop, however, that does not recognize nor honor mothering as a critical window for spiritual awakening, women navigate this journey unas-sistedandare at higher risk for dysfunction. It is time then to change the current myth of motherhood to a new conceptualization that recognizes spirituality as an essential and integralpart of the mothering experience for the betterment of all mothers, their children, and the ultimate renewal of society.
This essay describes how the struggle between God and Satan in Milton’s epic poem Paradise Lost is waged in and through the wombs of two virgins: Eve and Mary. My reading foregrounds the manner in which Milton sexualizes the serpent’s temptation of Eve, troping their discourse as an act of intercourse in which Satan seeks to impregnate Eve and appropriate for himself the maternal promise she embodies. In Milton’s account, the adversary inseminates Eve with his pregnant rhetoric, causing her to conceive sin and death. Hijacking Eve’s reproductive role as mother of the human race, Satan usurps the paternal role reserved for God the Father. But the epic repeatedly ties the Temptation to the Annunciation, foreshadowing the way in which God will undertake a superior act of insemination in order to overthrow the adversary and overcome the evil effects of the Fall. Availing himself of the womb of another virgin altogether, God causes another supernatural conception, one which eventually allows for the regeneration of all humankind. Literally impregnating Mary, God re-creates the human race and authors himself back into authority.
The Varieties of Religious Experience is an exploration of personal narratives about religious experience, but as one might gather from the epigraph to this article, James treats religion in an eccentric way. He takes religious experience to mean something close to the emotional experience of identity. His central question is how one might discover happiness within oneself and in one's relations with others, or if such happiness seems far distant, how one might achieve a change that will accomplish a new identity.
Unconditional love. Rumi, the great Sufipoet-mystic, wrote of this love: “I’ve heard it said, there’s a window that opens from one mind to another, / but if there’s no wall, there’s no need for fitting the window, or the latch” (Barks & Bly, 1981). Such beautiful words. Much of Rumi’s work directly illustrates the loving relationship that he shared with his spiritual teacher, Shams of Tabriz. Indeed, spiritual traditions from all around the world proclaim unconditional love to be among the highest forms of human expression. These traditions have gone on to describe this expression in the form of the affection a spiritual teacher holds for students or disciples. Buddhist (Rinpoche, 1992; Wangyal, 1978) and Hindu (Muktananda, 1980; Venkatesananda, 1989) sources, the words of the Old and New Testament, tales from indigenous or shamanic cultures (Castaneda, 1968, 1972) all show us that the love given us by spiritual guides is of utmost importance. Experiencing a spiritual teacher’s unconditional love can teach us how to love and accept ourselves. This self-acceptance and self-love can then find expression in love for our families, friends, colleagues, and even our enemies. These expressions of love help us to live a rich and meaningful life.
Questions about how women integrate maternity into their sense of self have generated a quest for an heuristic model. We suggest that mothers struggle to balance themselves amid a set of polarities/tensions and that mothering can be situated within a phenomenological matrix of such tensions. We propose a model that includes the following developmental issues: loss of self/expansion of self; omnipotence/liability; life-destroying/life-promoting behavior; maternal isolation/maternal community; cognitive strategies/intuitive responses; maternal desexualization/ maternal sexualization. Investigation and understanding of how mothers cope with these tensions could yield insights into both universal and particular aspects of mothering.
I held him so and rocked him. I cradled him. I closed my eyes and leaned on his dark head. But the sun in its course emerged from among the water towers of down-town office buildings and suddenly shone white and bright on me. Then through the short fat fingers of my son, interred forever, like a black and white barred king in Alcatraz, my heart lit up in stripes.
— Grace Paley, The Little Disturbances of Man
Pain has been shown to be invested with a multiplicity of meanings. This applies to labour pain as much as to any other. The meanings of pain in general and of labour pain in particular are examined in terms of religion, philosophy, spirituality, biology and culture. The possibility of the existence of political meanings is considered. An attempt is made to distinguish the meaning of labour pain for the carers and for the woman. The possibility that searching for meaning serves as a coping mechanism is explored. The argument is advanced that an understanding of the meaning of labour pain to the woman in labour is a fundamental prerequisite if the midwife is to facilitate the woman's achievement of a satisfying birth experience.
Used grounded theory to investigate women's experience of mothering. Conducted unstructured interviews with 11 mothers who had one or more children under 12 years old. Results focus on the psychological experience of mothering by considering the challenges and opportunities that childbirth and child rearing offer. Implications for marital counseling are given. (RJM)