Living in the Moment: From Isolation to Spiritual Connectedness

Abstract

Clients entering recovery find themselves disconnected from family, friends and society. This article discusses how a clinician guides a client into a sense of connection.

Full text

BRIAN LUKE SEAWARD, PH.D.
STAND LIKE MOUNTAIN,
FLOW LIKE WATER:
REFLECTIONS ON STRESS
AND HUMAN SPIRITUALITY
PAUL D. ALLEVA, MSW
CHOOSE TO BE IN
THE LIGHT MORE OFTEN!

16 www.thesoberworld.com
Through my years of working with people suffering from the
disease of addiction, I have found a common experience expressed
by most, namely, as the disease progressed, they became isolated
not only from their family and friends, but also from themselves.
The consequences of their actions while in active addiction
convinced them of their isolation as they lost family, friends, and
employment. These types of losses can ultimately take away a
person’s self-worth, morals, and sense of feeling connected to
society. In recovery, it is important to bring our loved ones back to
a feeling of connectedness within themselves, their family, friends,
and to once again believe in their spiritual views.
Our way of thinking inuences how we perceive ourselves, others,
and the world around us. This perception, true or not, becomes
our truth and our personal reality. So when a person suffering from
addiction enters recovery they begin the process of reconnecting
as they are guided in ways to perceive themselves differently. This
quote from the Talmud explains this well: “We do not see things
as they are, we see things are we are.” In other words, if I feel
disconnected and isolated then my view of reality will be negative. As
the negative consequences of active addiction progress and worsen,
the sense of isolation deepens. The personal recognition of guilt and
shame, although not always expressed to their loved ones, becomes
more apparent and they perceive themselves as unworthy of love. It
is at this low point when the depth of the isolation becomes apparent
and they perceive that they are not lovable. Therefore, the solution
is to change one’s view of themselves so that they will begin to
positively view the world around them.
“… People with addiction tend to be concerned with spirituality,
forgiveness, and guilt, each relating to the human conscience as
the person struggles with who they are, who they ought to be and
the meaning of life. These are the existential aspects of living with
addiction.” By using the term “spirituality” I am not referring to a
particular religion, but rather as a way of understanding a power
greater than myself at work in my life. I am not alone. How can
we help someone heal and reconnect from their isolation? In my
clinical practice I teach about living in the present moment as a way
to reconnect. As we focus our thoughts on either our past mistakes
or our future concerns, we tend to feel a loss of control for there is
nothing we can do about either the past or the future. This feeling of
a loss of control triggers our stress response. Focusing our thoughts
on the present moment will reduce our stress since the present
moment is where we can control our situation by changing our
thoughts and our actions. As we reduce our stress and feel a sense
of control in our life, we begin to perceive ourselves in a positive way,
thus viewing the world around us in a similar positive manner.
This new positive outlook on the world, and reconnecting with
others, opens the possibility for a reconnection with their inner
self, with who they truly are. The rst step in this process is to help
them understand that they are not an addict or alcoholic rather that
they are a person who happens to have the disease of addiction.
For example, people suffering from the disease of cancer do not
perceive themselves as cancer, nor tell people “I am cancer”. If
asked about themselves they reply by stating their name and that
they suffer from cancer. This is not merely semantics since words
possess power and meaning, so the use of words inuences how we
feel about ourselves. Helping the person in recovery to understand
that while in active addiction their core being remained the same with
the same values, morals and sense of self. This knowledge provides
a feeling of hope and even relief in their knowing they have not lost
who they are. The disease of addiction is a part of who they are, but
it is also separate from who they are. They are not their disease;
they are a person who happens to have a disease of addiction.
This shift in perspective is the beginning of a reconnecting with
self as well as a reconnecting with a higher power. Helen Mallicoat
LIVING IN THE MOMENT: FROM ISOLATION
TO SPIRITUAL CONNECTEDNESS
By Christopher Shea, MA, CRAT, CAC-AD
states it well: “I was regretting the past and fearing the future.
Suddenly my Lord was speaking: ‘My name is I AM.’ He paused. I
waited. He continued, `When you live in the past with its mistakes
and regrets, it is hard. I am not there. My name is not I WAS. When
you live in the future with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not
there. My name is not I WILL BE. When you live in this moment it is
not hard. My name is I AM.’”
“In the scriptures, God does not say, ‘do not fear, I will take away
all the pain and struggle.’ Rather, we hear, ‘You have no need to
fear, since I am with you’ and together we will make it.” (Franciscan
Voices on 9/11) Reconnecting with oneself and others enables
the person in recovery to nd a sense of belonging and peace. Be
patient, and great things will happen!
Christopher Shea is a certied addiction counselor who has worked
as a clinician, clinical director and administrator. He is the founder of
Lifesjourney: www.lifesjourneyblog.com. Shea is a published author
who presents at seminars and conferences across the country. He
is currently the Director of Campus Ministry at St. Mary’s Ryken high
school and an adjunct professor at Towson University.
THE COMPLEXITY OF
ADOLESCENCE
By Robert C. Ciampi, LCSW
Continued from page 14
• Use “tough love” if necessary
As outlined in the article above, it may seem like a daunting task
for parents, teachers, law enforcement, and counselors to prevent
adolescent substance abuse in teens of every age. However,
through education, communication between the adolescent and their
parents or caregivers, and community law enforcement projects,
teen substance abuse is not a given; many adolescents have made
a decision to not get into drugs of any kind and to focus on their
education and future instead. If an adolescent does begin to abuse
drugs, it is important to be able to spot the signs and to employ some
of the interventions mentioned above. Parents and caregivers should
have a “zero tolerance” policy in the home and elsewhere and not
seek out the title of being a “cool” parent. To help your adolescent
grow to be a healthy adult in body and mind, BE THE PARENT. Yo u r
teen will thank you later for your “tough love” now.
Robert C. Ciampi earned a BA in Psychology from Montclair
State University and his MSW at Rutgers University. He worked in
community mental health centers and hospitals as a clinician working
with individuals with serious and persistent mental illness as well as
patients who were dually diagnosed with mental illness and substance
abuse. He went on to work for a behavioral healthcare consulting rm
which helped healthcare facilities reestablish themselves as well as
coordinating a program that provided employee assistance help for
problems in and out of the workplace. In 2010 he went into private
practice. He is also the Director of inpatient social work services at
Bergen Regional Medical Center – the largest hospital in the State of
New Jersey. www.rciampi.com