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91
Introduction
As the culture surrounding donor insemination
evolves, the issues of whether donors are open to
being identied to, and having contact with, donor-
conceived (DC) offspring have become central.
Anonymity, once an unquestioned aspect of gamete
donation, is no longer presumed, as several countries
now require that donors be willing to be identied
when offspring come of age (Blyth and Landau,
2004; Blyth and Frith, 2009; Allan, 2012).
Until recently the movement to end anonymity
has primarily rested on arguments concerning the
interests of DC offspring and their parents although
it has also been argued that donors should be granted
a right to at least some information about the
offspring conceived as a result of their donations
(Raes et al., 2013). Aside from abstract arguments
about rights, the voices of gamete donors have
rarely been heard (Daniels et al., 2012). In general,
research shows that donors are less interested than
are DC offspring and recipients of donor gametes in
knowing the identity of, providing information to,
and making contact with the other (Purewal and van
den Akker, 2009; Rodino et al., 2011; Van den
Broeck et al., 2013). Not surprisingly, then, studies
suggest that gamete donors are neither uniformly in
favor of recipients having access to information
about them (Broderick and Walker, 2001;
Hammarberg et al., 2014) nor uniformly interested
in meeting DC offspring (Daniels et al., 2005; Riggs
and Russell, 2011). There also appear to be
differences between oocyte and sperm donors with
the latter demonstrating a higher level of interest in,
and potential sense of responsibility for DC
offspring (Lampic et al., 2014).
Sperm donors describe the experience of contact with their
donor-conceived offspring
R. HeRtz1, M.K. NelsoN2, W. KRaMeR3
1Department of Sociology and Women’s and Gender Studies, Wellesley College, Wellesley, MA 02481, USA.
2Department of Sociology, Middlebury College, Middlebury, VT 05753, USA.
3Donor Sibling Registry, Box 1571, Nederland, CO 80466, USA.
Correspondence at: mnelson@middlebury.edu
Abstract
This study explores the attitudes and experiences of 57 sperm donors who responded to a survey posted online in
the United States and indicated that they had had contact with their donor-conceived offspring or the parents of
their donor-conceived offspring. On average, 18 years had elapsed since the respondents donated sperm.
In the interim between donating and having contact with offspring, most had become curious about their offspring.
Most made contact through a bank or online registry. Most respondents had communicated with at least one
offspring at least once and most had exchanged photos with offspring. Approximately two-thirds had met in
person once; the same proportion had communicated over email or text. Other forms of communication were less
common. Almost half of the respondents now considered their donor-conceived offspring to be like a family
member. At the same time, donors are respectful of the integrity of the family in which their offspring were raised.
Donors with contact are open to having their partners and children know their donor-conceived offspring.
Although contact is generally positive, donors report that establishing boundaries and defining the relationship can
be very difficult. Some donors also urge those who are thinking of donating to consider the consequences and some
suggest avoiding anonymity. There were no significant differences in attitudes and experiences between those who
donated anonymously and those who had been identity-release for their offspring when they turned 18.
Key words: Anonymity, assisted reproduction, donor-conceived offspring, offspring, sperm donors.
Facts VieWs Vis obgyN, 2015, 7 (2): 91-100 Original paper
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92 Facts VieWs Vis obgyN
not all occasions of contact are sought after, or
mutually desired, by both sides.
Methods
Data Collection
The survey from which these data come was online,
hosted by WorldApp’s KeySurvey, from May 12,
2014 to August 15, 2014. Invitations to the survey
for gamete donors were sent via email to all
members of the Donor Sibling Registry as well as to
a variety of other organizations and details of the
study were available on the DSR website on an
open-access Webpage. Information about the survey
was also posted on Craigslist in four large urban
areas as well as on several other websites and
several Facebook groups asked people to participate.
Ethical approval for this study was obtained from
the Institutional Review Boards at both Middlebury
College and Wellesley College.
It is impossible to calculate a response rate for
this survey because it was made available at so
many different locations. The DSR recorded how
many of those who received the email invitation
actually opened it; the “open” rate was approximately
36%. Among all gamete donors, 96% of those who
opened the email clicked on to the survey and of
those 91% actually completed the survey. Web
surveys generally have relatively low response rates
(Couper, 2000; Monroe and Adams, 2012; Wright,
2005) and concerns about response rates have to be
weighed against the advantages of trying to reach a
generally hard to reach population such as gamete
donors (Freeman et al., 2009).
Participants
This study draws initially on the 145 sperm donors
who responded to the survey and who indicated that
they had an interest in contact with their donor-
conceived offspring or had already had that contact.
Eighty-three percent of these donors received the
survey through the DSR. There were no statistically
signicant differences between the respondents
who came through the DSR and those who came
through some other route in key demographic
variables such as current age, percent living with a
partner of the other sex, and percent who were
Caucasian. Nor were there any statistically
signicant differences between these two groups of
respondents in terms of variables related to donating
such as number of years they donated, percent
offered a choice about what kind of donor to be, and
percent who were anonymous donors at the time of
donation.
Research by van den Akker et al. (2014) indicates
that sperm donors may search out DC offspring
for a variety of reasons. Only a very few studies
have examined the actual experience of contact
between donors and offspring. Drawing on a small
sample recruited through the Donor Sibling Registry
(DSR), a U.S.-based world-wide registry that helps
DC individuals search for and establish mutual
consent contact with their donor and donor siblings
(i.e. half-siblings), Jadva et al. (2011) reported
positive and regular contact among donors who had
contact with their offspring. Subsequently Daniels
et al. (2012) reported on data collected from
164 semen donors also recruited through the DSR.
Although initially anonymous donors, almost all
were now open to, or had already had contact with
offspring. At the time of the study the 33 donors
with contact reported that they felt “close” to the
offspring and especially so if they had met them.
They also reported that what had been most
challenging was “the adjustment to the relationship
and issues within the donor’s own family”
(Daniels et al., 2012). More recently, Kirkman et al.
(2014) found that among 10 formerly anonymous
donors in Australia the experience of contact ranged
widely from no relationship to a close personal
relationship.
This study expands on these prior studies by
exploring more fully the experience of contact
among semen donors who have had some form of
contact with DC offspring. In the United States,
where this study was conducted, contact happens in
a variety of different ways. Most sperm banks now
offer identity-release sperm. The Sperm Bank of
California (TSBC) started this practice in 1983
(Scheib, 2003). Donors at TSBC (and at other banks
with similar programs) can sign a contract that
authorizes the bank to reveal their identity only to a
DC individual who is at least 18 year old and has
requested the donor’s identifying information in
writing. Even then, the information is not
automatically released: the donor is requested to ll
out an updated prole and to specify his preferred
form of contact. If donors cannot be found, no
contact will be initiated. Donors and offspring (or
their parents) may also sign up voluntarily on
matching websites such as the DSR; neither the
donors nor the offspring can be assured that the
other party will respond to their offer of contact.
Finally, stakeholders may engage in a variety of
sleuthing practices through DNA testing relying on
ancestry companies such as Family Tree DNA
(https://www.familytreedna.com/) and 23andMe
(https://www.23andme.com). These growing
opportunities make it more important to understand
what happens when there is contact, especially since
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DoNoR-coNceiVeD oFFsPRiNg – HeRtz et al. 93
anonymous. Overall there were 5 “known” donors,
35 originally anonymous donors, and 17 originally
identity-release donors. Because there are so few
“known” donors and their situation is so different
from the other two groups of donors, with the
exception of the demographic data we report next,
throughout the analysis we report on the entire
group of donors and, when making comparisons
within the group, compare only the anonymous and
identity-release donors.
As shown in Table I, the donors who had contact
with offspring had donated for an average of almost
six years, starting when they were approximately 27
and stopping when they were approximately 33. On
average, 18 years had elapsed since the respondents
with contact had last donated sperm. The three
groups of donors differ on these variables: the
known donors are the youngest and the shortest
interval has elapsed since their last donation. The
anonymous donors are the oldest and they donated
for the most years.
Curiosity During the Interim
Two-thirds (65%) of the respondents wondered
whether their donations led to conceptions. Fifty-
nine percent of the anonymous donors and 73% of
the identity-release donors contacted the clinic to
nd out how many children had been born from
their donations at some point in the interim between
donating and responding to the survey. During that
same period, the vast majority of donors (97% of
those who were anonymous and 100% of those who
were identity-release) indicated that they had
thought about the offspring who might have resulted
from their donations. Among the 45 respondents
who chose to elaborate on that response, 52% indi-
cated that they had “always” or “often” wondered
about those children. Another 18% did not really
explain whether they had wondered in the past but
indicated that being in contact meant that they
thought about them now. Nine respondents indicated
that they had not really wondered until some event
Thirty-nine percent (n = 47) of the respondents
from the DSR invitation had had contact with
offspring or their parents as had 38% (n = 10) of the
other respondents. These 57 respondents are the
focus of the analysis that follows. Just over half
(51%) were married and living with a partner of the
other sex; 56% had their own children; and 81%
reported their sexual identity as heterosexual.
Overall, the donors are well educated with over half
(53%) having more than a B.A. The vast majority
(93%) is Caucasian.
Measures
The questionnaire was pretested to ensure face and
content validity; several questions had been used by
the third author already in two previous studies of
sperm donors undertaken by the DSR (Jadva et al.,
2011; Daniels et al., 2012). This new study asked
for more information than had previous studies
about attitudes toward the experience of contact
with donor offspring. It was also made available in
more places. Both multiple choice questions and
open-ended questions were used, as appropriate.
With the help of research assistants, the rst two
authors developed codes for open-ended responses.
Each item was coded by two people; when there
were disagreements, responses were coded as
“other.” SPSS was used for all data analyses.
Results
Characteristics at the Time of Donation
Five of the donors had been known to the recipients
from conception either because they were family
members or friends, or because they donated
through a website that allowed for contact at the
time of donation. Among the remaining respondents,
only a quarter (23%) said that they had been given a
choice of what type of donor to be. Among those
given a choice, 67% chose to be identity-release.
Among those not given a choice, 78% were
Table I. — Characteristics of donors.
Known Donor Anonymous
Donor
Identity-Release
Donor
All Donors
Mean N Mean N Mean N Mean N
Number of Years donated 6.3 3 7.1 34 4.3 16 6.2 53
Number of Years since last donating 2.1 3 20.5 34 15.9 16 17.9 53
Current Age 39.6 4 52.5 35 50.6 16 50.6 55
Age when started donating 28.5 4 25.0 35 30.4 16 26.8 55
Age when stopped donating 35.7 3 32.1 34 34.7 16 33.1 53
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offspring respondents had connected with was 25,
the average was 4.3. Among those who had
connected with at least one donor offspring, 16%
did not stay in touch with any of them. Among the
37 respondents who stayed in touch with at least
one donor offspring, 62% stayed in touch with all
their donor offspring.
Table II shows more detail about the kinds
of contact respondents had with their offspring.
In some cases, contact is entirely mediated by
the parents, but most respondents (86%) have
communicated with at least one offspring at least
once and most have exchanged photos with
offspring. The six respondents who explicitly
indicated that they had been found by offspring
appear to have less intense contact than do those
who initiated contact (with the exception of helping
with nances).
Table II additionally shows levels of contact
separately for those who were originally anonymous
and those who were identity-release. Although in
general the latter group has higher levels of contact
than do the former, none of these differences rise to
statistical signicance at the .05 level.
Finally, Table II indicates what kind of contact
was desired by the 88 respondents who had wanted
to have contact with offspring but did not achieve
that contact. Although it is impossible to know what
level of contact the respondents with contact had
wanted before they had achieved contact, the data
show that more of those without contact wanted
each type of interaction than those with contact
actually achieved.
Respondents were asked to discuss more fully
the relationship they had with the donor offspring
to whom they felt closest (Table III). A fth
responded that that person was like a son or daughter
and 16% said that the person was like some other
close relative. The donors who gave other answers
said that the donor-conceived offspring was like a
friend (11%), acquaintance (9%), distant relative
(7%) or stranger (4%). A third of the respondents
added other comments or simply said that the
relationship was too hard to describe. Identity
release donors were most likely to say that the
offspring were like a son or daughter; anonymous
donors had the most difculty responding to the
xed categories.
Forty-three respondents expanded on the meaning
of these responses. Some respondents described
more fully how they thought of their offspring as
their children:
I am very close with a couple of the children who I
have met, and they really do seem like a son and a
daughter.
created awareness. For four of these respondents,
that event was hearing about the possibility of
contact through the media. For three respondents
that event was the birth of their own children:
After I had my own child at the age of 35, I started
thinking about all the potential children that I
might have conceived. When I saw how much of
myself was in my daughter, I began to think that
any donor children of mine would want to know
about me.
For two respondents that event was a notication of
a child’s existence:
I’ve thought a lot about them since being notied
[by the DSR] about their existence.
After I was contacted I did think about the resulting
child off and on….And now I know that there are
many children … so I do think about them regularly.
The vast majority of respondents (80% of those who
were anonymous and 94% of those who were
identity-release) had also wondered if their donor-
conceived offspring thought about them. Among
the 44 respondents who elaborated on this issue, the
most common response (44%) was some version of
a statement that the respondent assumed anyone
would be curious about the donor: “Any child who
knew they were donor conceived would think about
who their biological parent was”. Four respondents
added that they wondered if their offspring even
knew that they were donor conceived:
Who wouldn’t be curious about where they came
from? But it was another time, and it’s likely that
kids born in the 1970s might not know there was a
donor involved.
Making Contact
Eighty-four percent of the respondents who were
not already known to the families of their offspring
found those offspring through a bank, the DSR, or
some other registry. Twelve percent (n = 6) were
found by the offspring themselves. One respondent,
without indicating how he felt about having been
found did note that there had been a breach of
contract and that he had not sought contact: “[The]
clinic revealed what was supposed to be condential
info[rmation]”. One respondent engaged in his own
independent sleuthing when the DSR did not
produce contact:
I used the user name of one offspring/parent and
searched for the user name on the internet and
found a match on eBay.
Half (52%) of the respondents had connected with
only one or two offspring; the highest number of
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which he had met his offspring mattered in the
relationship:
I met four offspring when they were very young
(ages 4 to 7). Those four call me dad and we are
very close. The others I met when they were
teenagers – we enjoy each other’s company and
there is a deep, not-easy-to-describe connection,
but it feels more like “the favorite uncle”.
Whether or not donors come to view their offspring
as family, after contact most come to have a greater
sense of responsibility for them (Table IV). Among
those who were identity-release donors the growth
in the sense of responsibility is especially great in
the category of “some” responsibility (from 28% to
59%); among those who were anonymous the
growth in the sense of responsibility is greatest in
the “a lot” category (from 6% to 23%).
Family Issues
As Table V shows, the vast majority of sperm
donors who had contact with offspring responded
that they did not feel displaced by the male parent of
their offspring. These data suggest that the donors
I met [my donor daughter] a couple of years ago at
her home in Maine along with [her sister], her
Mother, and Grandmother.… I feel she is my
daughter and am sorry I didn’t get to watch her
grow up.
Four respondents explained that although they felt
the child was important to them, they distinguished
between their role in the child’s life and that of a
“real” parent:
I liken our relationship like an Uncle to a Niece, or
like a Godfather to a Godchild.. I’ll never really be
their parent because I didn’t raise them.
[She is] like a daughter but I am aware that I
showed up late in her life, and she has her own
family, and I would not be much of a parent if real
parenting were needed. I get along well with them
all, and love the grandkids born since I have known
her. But her own family comes rst.
Six respondents explained that their relationships
with their offspring varied. One respondent simply
said, “Some I like. Some I don’t connect with”.
Other respondents provided more detail about the
variation. One of these suggested that the age at
Table II. — Percent of respondents who has and who want various forms of contact with donor-conceived offspring.
Form of Contact Donors with
Contact
Who Sought
Contact
(N = 51)
Donors with
Contact
found by
Offspring
(N = 6)
Donors
who were
originally
anonymous
(N = 35)
Donors who
were originally
identity-release
(N = 17)
Donors
without
Contact
(N = 88)
Offspring has looked/would look at prole 65% 67% 63% 77% 93%
Offspring has communicated/would
communicate at least once
86% 83% 89% 82% 97%
Offspring has sent/would send photo 82% 67% 77% 94% 94%
Donor has sent/would send photo 80% 50% 80% 77% 94%
Donor and offspring have communicated/
would communicate over email or text
71% 50% 67% 82% 94%
Donor and offspring have communicated/
would communicate through the DSR
53% 17% 54% 53% 88%
Donor and offspring have phoned/would
phone or Skype
53% 17% 46% 59% 91%
Donor and offspring have met/would meet
in person once
71% 33% 63% 77% 94%
Donor and offspring have spent time/would
continue to spend time together
47% 33% 40% 59% 88%
Donor has been/would be part of offspring's
daily life
20% 0% 14% 24% 38%
Donor has helped/would help offspring
make decisions
12% 17% 11% 18% 37%
Donor has helped/would help offspring
with nances
14% 50% 14% 24% 28%
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Introducing DC Offspring to their Own Families
Donors believe that DC offspring should not be
concealed from their own families (Table V). The
vast majority of those with contact have told a
partner (if they have them) about their donation.
The majority of the donors with contact report that
their partners are open to the donor having contact
with offspring and three-quarters suggest that their
partners themselves are open to connecting with the
offspring. There is some indication that the partners
of respondents who were originally anonymous
might be more reluctant than the partners of identity-
release donors to have contact with the DC offspring
of their partners. Among those donors with children,
almost three-quarters of those who have had contact
with offspring say that the children they are raising
know about their donations and almost all indicate
that those children have already met or are interested
in meeting at least one of their donor-conceived
offspring.
Additional questions assessed how donors felt
about the integration of donor-conceived offspring
into their lives. One set of questions asked whether
believe in the integrity of the social family of their
offspring. This is consistent with the responses
discussed above that described relationships with
donor offspring in language of respect for the
families that raised their offspring (e.g., “her own
family comes rst”; “I’ll never really be their parent
because I didn’t raise them”). Careful as these
donors appear to be, over half believe that they
might be thought of as posing a threat to the male
parents of their offspring. In their open-ended
comments on this issue, some respondents indicated
that they had concrete experiences of being viewed
as a threat: “I know for a fact that male parents have
trouble, since I’ve met with many”. Another
indicated that although he had contact with some of
his offspring, in at least one family the father
prevented contact by concealing the donor
conception: “I know of one situation where the male
parent of my genetic progeny has wanted to prevent
his children from ever knowing that he’s not their
biological father”. Other kinds of difculties might
also ensue: 14% of the respondents said that contact
had caused conict with the parent(s) of their DC
offspring.
Table III. — Relationship to donor offspring.
Relationship: Known Anonymous Identity-Release All Donors
Like a son or daughter 25% 17% 31% 22%
Like a close relative 25% 11% 25% 16%
Like a distant relative 0% 6% 13% 7%
Like a friend 25% 11% 6% 11%
Like and acquaintance 0% 9% 13% 9%
Like a stranger 0% 6% 0% 4%
Hard to Describe/Other 25% 40% 13% 31%
Total 100% 100% 100% 100%
N = 4 35 16 55
Table IV. — Feeling of responsibility for donor offspring among donors with contact.
Feeling of
responsibility
At the Time of
Donation
At the Time of
Responding
Anonymous Identity
release
Anonymous Identity
release
At the time of
donation
At the Time of
Responding
None 68% 33% 70% 59% 40% 24%
Some 25% 35% 23% 28% 29% 59%
A lot 5% 23% 6% 12% 23% 12%
Don’t Know 2% 1% 1% 1% 1% 1%
Total 100% 100% 100% 100% 100% 100%
N = 57 57 35 17 35 17
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DoNoR-coNceiVeD oFFsPRiNg – HeRtz et al. 97
event (such as a wedding) (Table V). Donors with
contact were more likely to respond inclusively
with respect to DC offspring than they are to the
parents of their offspring. Donors who were identity
release respond more inclusively to DC offspring
and (especially) their parents than do those who
were originally anonymous.
General Attitudes toward Contact
Respondents were asked about the best part of
contact with offspring. Among the 44 respondents
who offered a response to this open-ended question,
30% indicated simply that what was best was
connecting with their offspring and even the children
of their offspring: “I went from zero to grandfather
donors considered their offspring and the parents of
their offspring to be members of their nuclear and
extended families (Table V). Not surprisingly, given
other responses already reported, the majority does
not consider either their donor offspring or the
parents of those offspring to be members of their
nuclear families. However, a full two-thirds view
donor offspring as part of their extended family and
almost half feel the same way about the parents of
their donor offspring. These sentiments of inclusion
are stronger among those who were identity release
at the time they donated.
Another set of questions asked respondents
whether they would share a piece of good news with
donor offspring or the parents of donor offspring
and whether they would invite them to a special
Table V. — Family issues.
A. Attitudes toward Offspring Family All Donors with
Contact
Anonymous
Donors
Identity-Release
Donors
Percent who feel displaced by male parent 6% (52) 9% (34) 0% (17)
Percent who believe male parent might be threatened by
them
54% (54) 53% (34) 44% (16)
B. Integration with own family
Percent whose partner knows about donation (among
those with a partner)
95% (41) 96% (25) 91% (11)
Percent with partners open to his contact with offspring 84% (38) 83% (23) 90% (10)
Percent with partners open to their own contact with
offspring
75% (36) 65% (23) 88% (8)
Percent whose children know parent was a donor
(among those with children)
72% (32) 84% (19) 57% (7)
Percent of children who met who have met or want to
meet donor siblings
95% (23) 100% (16) 75% (4)
C. Inclusion in Own Family
Percent who say offspring are part of their nuclear
family
25% (44) 24% (25) 31% (16)
Percent who say the parents of their offspring are part of
their nuclear family
12% (42) 16% (25) 7% (14)
Percent who say offspring are part of their extended
family
66% (47) 55% (29) 79% (11)
Percent who say the parents of their offspring are part of
their extended family
46% (44) 32% (28) 62% (13)
D. Measures of Inclusion
Percent who would share good news with donor
offspring
42% (57) 40% (35) 47% (17)
Percent who would share good news with parents of
donor offspring
26% (57) 26% (35) 29% (17)
Percent who would invite donor offspring to a special
occasion
46% (57) 40% (35) 53% (17)
Percent who would invite parents of donor offspring to a
special occasion
26% (57) 17% (35) 41% (17)
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98 Facts VieWs Vis obgyN
experience: “Clinics have revealed condential
information and that despite what the clinic told you
about remaining anonymous and protecting your
privacy, do not be surprised if you are contacted by
a sperm recipient”. Only one respondent was
entirely negative.
Discussion
The data reported here come from a small group of
sperm donors. We have no way of knowing whether
donors who were unaware of the survey, or those
who were aware of it but chose not to respond,
would have the same attitudes or experiences of
contact with offspring. The conclusions of this
study must be evaluated with these concerns about
the size and representativeness of the sample in
mind.
Most sperm donors who have contact with their
donor-conceived offspring indicate that prior to that
contact they were curious about their offspring. In
all likelihood, that curiosity provided the incentive
to make efforts to achieve contact with donor-
conceived offspring (e.g., by signing up on a
registry). Among the respondents who had not
initiated contact, only one appeared to be quite
angry about the violation of his anonymity. The
other ve all gave responses throughout the survey
that indicated that they derived great pleasure from
the contact. Indeed, one commented that the only
thing tough about the experience was “that it took
so long to happen”.
Although most respondents have been in some
form of direct contact with their offspring and half
of them spend time with their offspring, very few
are part of the daily lives of their offspring. Without
further research it is impossible to know if these
ndings are the result of choice or some other factor
(e.g., distance). The content of the relationships
between donors and offspring range from that of
being like strangers to being like close family;
almost half place their offspring somewhere within
the category of “like” family.
Over half the sperm donors in this study were
aware that their presence in the life of their offspring
could be seen as a threat to the parents (especially
the social fathers) of those offspring. In addition,
even as they are concerned about respecting the
integrity of the family into which their offspring
were born, as others have shown, they are open to
enlarging the boundaries of their own families to
include offspring and their parents. In contrast to
what Daniels et al. (2012) found, integrating donor
offspring into their ongoing families was not a
major problem or even, for most respondents, an
issue of concern. A question that had not been asked
faster than anyone ever, and I really enjoy the grand
kids. I feel like I hit the jackpot and didn’t earn it”.
Another 18% said that the best part was knowing
that their offspring were in good situations: “[The
best part is] knowing that I have another child, and
that she seems to be happy and well adjusted. Made
me feel much better about donating in the rst
place”. Thirteen percent spoke about their feeling of
accomplishment and pleasure in “knowing that they
existed” or “just seeing what [their] donations did to
bring happiness to folks”. Eleven percent indicated
that what was best for them was observing genetic
similarities. Twenty-three percent of these
respondents gave a broad range of other responses.
Thirty-eight respondents also gave responses to a
question asking what was hardest about meeting
donor offspring. Among these, 34% responded that
it was difcult to judge the appropriate way to
develop the relationship: “Becoming more curious
about them, but not wanting to intrude into their
lives by asking too much”; “Didn’t want to appear
overly enthusiastic”. Fear of not being liked or of
disappointing offspring was the second most
common response offered by 24%: “Having them
see that I’m just an ordinary, plain person with aws
and defects”. Some respondents (11%) said that it
was hard not to be able to see their offspring enough
or to control the relationship and 8% said that they
did not like their offspring. A quarter of these
respondents gave a broad range of responses about
what was most difcult about meeting DC offspring.
At the end of the survey all respondents were
asked if there were anything they would want to add
that they would like potential donors to know. Three
quarters of those with contact responded. Thirty-
eight percent were positive about donating. As one
said, “Do it.” Some respondents are positive because
they can now reect on how being a donor has
changed their life for the better. For example, one
respondent said, “My having been a donor has led to
my having a fuller, richer, happier life”. A fth
(20%) of respondents were reective about the
importance of what they have done and they urged
that people think through the consequences of their
action before donating. One respondent phrased this
sentiment very clearly: “I think potential donors
should know that many of the children that result
will be interested in knowing some of the details of
their life, and should have contact with them”.
Another signicant group (13%) coming entirely
from the respondents who had been anonymous
originally urged donors to avoid anonymity. A
substantial proportion of the responses (28%) did
not t neatly into any single category. The one
respondent whose identity had been revealed by
mistake wrote a response that reected his
hertz-.indd 98 30/06/15 10:21
DoNoR-coNceiVeD oFFsPRiNg – HeRtz et al. 99
and sense of responsibility to DC offspring. Because
of the small sample size, none of these differences
rose to the level of statistical signicance. Future
research should look at comparisons among all
three kinds of donors in order to understand more
about early motivations and the experience of
contact with DC offspring. In addition, because this
phenomenon is likely to become more frequent,
future research might delve into the experiences of
donors who are found by offspring when the donors
have not indicated that they are open to that contact.
Findings about all of these issues could help in the
creation of policy that would better support parents,
offspring, and donors.
Acknowledgements
We would like to thank Jacqueline McGrath, Gabby
Hartman and Toby Israel for assistance in coding the
data. Data analysis was supported by NSF SES-1355726
(Margaret K. Nelson) and by NSF SES-1355740
(Rosanna Hertz).
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