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How to Flirt Best: The Perceived Effectiveness of Flirtation Techniques

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Four studies were implemented in order to ascertain how men and women flirt with potential partners and which flirtatious actions are considered most effective. Study 1 (n = 40) and Study 2 (n = 60) sought to discover the actions that men and women, respectively, engage in to indicate romantic interest to a partner. Study 3 (n = 110) sought to determine which flirtatious acts from women are perceived as most effective by men. Women's flirtations that suggest sexual access were expected to be rated as most effective. Study 4 (n = 222) sought to determine which flirtatious acts from men are perceived as most effective by women. Men's flirtations that suggest emotional commitment and exclusivity were expected to be rated as most effective by women. The results were consistent with the hypotheses and are discussed in terms of prior research.
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Articles
How to Flirt Best: The Perceived Effectiveness of Flirtation Techniques
T. Joel Wade*a, Jennifer Slemp a
[a] Department of Psychology, Bucknell University, Lewisburg, PA, USA.
Abstract
Four studies were implemented in order to ascertain how men and women flirt with potential partners and which flirtatious actions are considered
most effective. Study 1 (n = 40) and Study 2 (n = 60) sought to discover the actions that men and women, respectively, engage in to indicate
romantic interest to a partner. Study 3 (n = 110) sought to determine which flirtatious acts from women are perceived as most effective by
men. Women’s flirtations that suggest sexual access were expected to be rated as most effective. Study 4 (n = 222) sought to determine
which flirtatious acts from men are perceived as most effective by women. Men’s flirtations that suggest emotional commitment and exclusivity
were expected to be rated as most effective by women. The results were consistent with the hypotheses and are discussed in terms of prior
research.
Keywords: flirting, sexual access, commitment, exclusivity
Interpersona, 2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43, doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Received: 2014-11-03. Accepted: 2015-03-18. Published (VoR): 2015-06-30.
*Corresponding author at: Department of Psychology, Bucknell University, Lewisburg, PA, 17837, USA. E-mail: jwade@bucknell.edu
This is an open access article distributed under the terms of the Creative Commons Attribution License
(http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0), which permits unrestricted use, distribution, and reproduction in any medium, provided the
original work is properly cited.
One of the tasks men and women looking to form a relationship face is attracting mates. One way to accomplish
this task is by flirting. Flirting involves indicating to potential mates that one is interested in dating/spending time
with them (see Downey & Vitulli, 1987;Henningsen, 2004;Moore, 2002;Whitty, 2003). To date, no research has
examined which flirtation tactics are perceived as most effective for men and women. The current researchiseeks
to ascertain which flirtatious acts are perceived as most effective for men and women, using an evolutionary per-
spective.
Flirting is considered a universal and essential aspect of human interaction (Eibl-Eibesfeldt & Hass, 1967;Luscombe,
2008). Individuals, both married and single, flirt. Additionally, flirtation can be used for either courtship initiation
or quasi-courtship purposes. Quasi-courtship refers to instances where flirtatious behaviors are used when one
or both parties are not interested in sexual contact (Henningsen, 2004;Scheflen, 1965). One example of this is
for jealousy induction. Wade and Weinstein (2011) report that individuals can induce jealousy in a current partner
by using techniques that involve flirtation with an individual other than their partner. Flirtation can also be used as
a way to gauge how attractive one is to others and as a way to possibly gain resources (Henningsen, 2004). Flir-
tation can occur in multiple forms. Individuals can flirt non-verbally (Crook, 1972;Givens, 1978;Moore, 1985;
Renninger, Wade, & Grammer 2004), or verbally (Grammer, Kruck, Juette, & Fink, 2000;Whitty, 2004).
Interpersona |An International Journal on Personal Relationships
interpersona.psychopen.eu | 1981-6472
Both men and women use verbal interaction as a way to communicate interest in someone. Women, however,
having more at stake biologically than men do (Bailey, Gaulin, Agyei, & Gladue, 1994), also engage in such acts
as a way to elicit information from a man to see if he is potentially a good mate (Grammer et al., 2000). Thus, as
Moore (1985) reports, it is the women who initiate and control the situation.
Men and women alike use nonverbal signals, such as direct glancing, space-maximization movements, and
automanipulations, in relevant mate-selection contexts (Renninger et al., 2004). The nonverbal courtship signaling
involved in flirtation serves a useful purpose. Women use subtle indicators of male interest to help them pace the
course of any potential relationship while they assess a man’s willingness and ability to donate resources.
Therefore, the task for women is to express enough interest to elicit courtship behavior, but not to elicit a level of
interest that leads a man to skip courtship behavior, while men attempt to display their status, health, strength,
and intelligence in a desired, unintimidating way. From an evolutionary perspective flirting can be thought of as
a product of our evolved mate acquisition adaptations.
Evolutionary theory suggests that men and women have evolved adaptations to solve the problem of mate acquis-
ition. Buss and Schmitt (1993) report that men and women have different mate preferences due to their differences
in obligatory parental investment (Trivers, 1972). Men seek a parental investment from women that is primarily
physical. Specifically, reproductive fitness concerns for men center on future offspring production. Men were and
are faced with finding the best possible mates to bear their offspring (Buss, 1989,2006;Trivers, 1972). Thus,
Buss (1989,2006) reports that men choose mates based on fertility and reproductive potential cues, and sexual
access. Reproductive fitness concerns among women center around securing good genes and a strong parental
investment at the financial level (Buss, 1989;Trivers, 1972). Women were and are concerned with finding men
that are most willing and best able to genetically and financially invest in their offspring (Buss, 1989). Since men
can invest at two levels, genetic and financial (Trivers, 1972), women most often focus on cues indicative of a
strong future parental investment for long term mate selection (Buss, 1989,2006).
Since sexual access is crucial for male mate selection and securing a commitment is most important for women’s
mate selection, one might expect a woman’s actions that are suggestive of sexual accessibility to be the most
effective way to flirt with a man. Conversely, since women typically desire a long term commitment, a man’s actions
that are suggestive of a willingness to commit may be the most effective way for a man to flirt with a woman. Yet,
there is a void in the attraction literature. Recent research has not examined this. It is important to ascertain which
flirtatious actions are most effective as this knowledge will further enhance the knowledge base regarding flirtation,
and further strengthen the knowledge base regarding human attraction. Since evolutionary theory based research
can account for many aspects of mate attraction, yet has not examined the effectiveness of overt flirtation tactics,
it is important to determine if evolutionary theory can also account for the overt tactics that are most effective for
flirting with members of the opposite sex.
The present research sought to examine the aforementioned issue with 4 studies. Studies 1 and 2 ascertained
which flirtatious actions are performed by men and women, respectively. Studies 3 and 4 ascertained which flirtatious
acts are perceived as most effective for men and women, respectively.
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Wade & Slemp 33
Study 1
Methods
Participants — Participants were 40 men ranging in age from 18 to 22, M= 19.66, SD = 1.42, from a private
University in the Northeastern US. They were recruited from an introductory psychology course and on campus.
Participants from the introductory psychology class were recruited via posting a sign-up sheet indicating dates
and time when these individuals could take part in the research. Their involvement was in partial fulfillment of re-
search participation requirements associated with the introductory psychology course. Participants recruited from
the campus were approached and asked if they would agree to participate in the research and did not receive
any compensation for their involvement.
Procedure — Participants received a questionnaire that included demographic questions regarding: age, sex,
race, and whether or not they were in a relationship. Following standard act nomination methods used in prior
research that set out to determine which actions men and women engage in when such actions are not previously
known (Buss, 1988a,1988b;Buss & Craik, 1983;Wade, Auer, & Roth, 2009), the next two pages of the question-
naire contained the following act nomination instructions for a short-term or a long-term mate and 5 numbered
blanks on each page for individuals to write in their responses:
Please list below actions that you have done, or would do, to flirt with a woman for a potential long term
relationship (a long-term mate) (or a potential short term relationship (a short-term mate)). A long-term
mate is someone you would date more than a few times and would definitely consider marrying. A short-
term mate is someone you might date just once, have a one night stand with, or date a few times but
would not consider marrying. We are interested in specific behaviors. So you should be able to answer
the following questions about each thing you list below: Have you ever done this action or would you do
this action? If so, how often have you performed it or would you perform it?
The order for the long-term and short-term act nomination questions was varied for participants (some participants
received the long-term act nomination request first while others received the short-term act nomination first).
Results
The nominated acts were examined by one of the authors and one other individual. Consensus nominated acts
were kept. Twenty-six flirtatious acts were identified for men, see Table 1.Table 1 shows acts that range from
commitment/exclusivity related behavior to direct sexual behavior. Additionally, the acts nominated for short-term
and long-term mates did not differ.
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Effective Flirtation 34
Table 1
Flirtatious acts for men
14. He has sex with you1. He makes eye contact with you
15. He spends time with you2. He makes body contact with you
16. He asks for favors from you3. He asks you out
17. He asks for your help4. He converses with you
18. He calls you5. He smiles at you
19. He gives you gifts6. He dances with you
20. He holds hands with you7. He acts interested in you
21. He kisses you8. He compliments you
22. He goes to a movie with you9. He has dinner with you
23. He makes random comments to you10. He makes you laugh
24. He sends you valentines11. He buys you a drink
25. He tickles you12. He does favors for you
26. He gives you flowers13. He laughs at your jokes
Study 2
Method
Participants — Participants were 60 women ranging in age from 18 to 23, M= 19.45, SD = 1.48, from a private
University in the Northeastern United States. They were recruited from an introductory psychology course and
the campus. Participation from members of the introductory psychology class was in partial fulfillment of research
participation requirements associated with the course. Participants recruited from the campus did not receive any
compensation for their contribution. The sample was 92% Caucasian, .02% Black, .02% Hispanic, and .05%
Asian. Also, 48% of the participants were in a relationship and 52% were not in a relationship.
Procedure — As in Study 1, participants received a questionnaire that included demographic questions regarding:
age, sex, race, and whether or not they were in a relationship. Similarly, following standard act nomination methods
used in prior research that set out to determine which actions men and women engage in when such actions are
not previously known (Buss, 1988a,1988b;Buss & Craik, 1983;Wade et al., 2009), the next two pages of the
questionnaire contained the following act nomination instructions for a long-term or a short-term mate and 5
numbered blanks on each page for individuals to write in their responses:
Please list below actions that you have done, or would do, to flirt with a man for a potential long-term re-
lationship (a long-term mate) (or a potential short-term relationship (a short-term mate)). A long term mate
is someone you would date more than a few times and would definitely consider marrying. (A short-term
mate is someone you might date just once, have a one night stand with, or date a few times but would
not consider marrying.) We are interested in specific behaviors. So you should be able to answer the fol-
lowing questions about each thing you list below: Have you ever done this action or would you do this
action? If so, how often have you performed it or would you perform it?
Once again, the order for the long-term and short-term act nomination questions was varied for participants (some
participants received the long-term act nomination request first while others received the short-term act nomination
first).
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Wade & Slemp 35
Results
As in Study 1, the nominated acts were examined by one of the authors and one other individual. Once again
consensus nominated acts were kept. Fourteen flirtatious acts were identified for women, see Table 2.Table 2
shows acts that range from showing interest, i.e., “She makes eye contact with you”, to behaviors that are more
physical, and suggestive of sex such as “She rubs against you”. As in Study 1, the acts nominated for short-term
and long-term mates did not differ.
Table 2
Flirtatious Acts for Women.
8. She touches you in general1. She smiles at you
9. She engages in deep conversation with you2. She makes eye contact with you
10. She dresses revealingly3. She laughs at your jokes
11. She rubs against you4. She shows interest in you during a conversation (she asks about
your interests) 12. She dances with you
5. She teases and jokes around with you 13. She kisses you on the cheek
6. She engages in light conversation/chats with you 14. She moves closer to you
7. She touches your arm
Study 3
Hypothesis
Women’s actions that suggest sexual accessibility should be rated as most effective.
Methods
Participants — Participants were 110 men ranging in age from 18 to 79, M= 25.00, SD = 11.67. They were re-
cruited online via the campus electronic bulletin board at a private University in the Northeastern United States
and via national listservs. Participants did not receive any compensation for their contribution. Seventy-seven
percent of the participants were Caucasian, 6.4% were African American, 6.4% were Hispanic, 3.6% were Asian
and 4.5% classified their race as ‘other’. Additionally, 91% of the males considered themselves to be heterosexual
while 9% reported their sexual orientation as homosexual or other. Also, 49.6% of the men reported being currently
in a relationship while 50.4% reported not being in a relationship currently. Lastly, 80% of the men reported that
they have sexual relationship experience while 20% reported not having sexual relationship experience.
Procedure — Participants received an online questionnaire with: demographic questions (age, race, sexual ori-
entation, sexual relationship experience, current relationship status), a short form of the Marlowe Crowne Social
Desirability scale (Strahan & Gerbasi, 1972) to be able to rule out/control for socially biased responding, and the
14 flirtatious acts from Study 2. The following instructions preceded the flirtatious acts:
Below are listed acts that a woman might perform to flirt with a man (indicate to a man she is interested
in him). We are interested in how effective you think each act would be at achieving this goal. Please read
each action carefully and rate it in terms of how successful it would be in attracting you (indicating to you
that they are interested in you). Use the 7-point scale below each action to indicate the effectiveness of
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Effective Flirtation 36
the action. A 7 means it is highly effective. A 4 means it is moderately effective and a 1 means it is inef-
fective. Please answer truthfully and do not discuss your responses with others answering the questionnaire.
Results
Cronbach’s alpha (1951) revealed that the flirtatious acts for women were reliable, α = .90. The items for the social
desirability scale were summed to create a social desirability sumscore, and a series of Mixed Model Repeated
Measures ANOVAs with the social desirability score included as a covariate were computed. The 2(relationship
experience) × 14(flirtations) Mixed Model Repeated Measures ANOVA revealed a significant effect for flirtations,
F(13, 88) = 3.05, p< .001, η2= .31, see Table 3. Pairwise comparisons with Bonferroni corrections based on the
number of comparisons computed indicated that the items: “She kisses you on the cheek,” “She rubs against
you,” “She moves closer to you,” “She touches you, in general,” and “She touches your arm” were rated as most
effective. The social desirability covariate was not significant. Additionally, none of the other Mixed Model Repeated
Measures ANOVAs that were computed were significant.
Table 3
Mean Perceived Effectiveness of Female Flirtatious Actions
SDMFlirtatious Act
(a) She kisses you on the cheek .281.914
(b) She rubs against you .421.544
(c) She moves closer to you .271.464
(d) She touches you, in general .301.344
(e) She touches your arm .281.294
She teases and jokes around with you .291.274
She dances with you .361.244
She engages in deep conversation with you .481.01a
4
She shows interest in you during a conversation (asks about your interests) .551.72a
3
She laughs at your jokes .561.40ac
3
She smiles at you .301.28abcde
3
She makes eye contact with you .541.25acde
3
She dresses revealingly .721.84abcde
2
She engages in light conversation/chats with you .481.74abcde
2
Note. Higher numbers mean the particular love act was perceived as more effective. Superscripts denote significant dif-
ferences (p< .05), e.g. mean for row a, “She kisses you on the cheek”, is significantly different from means for rows that
have an ‘a’ in their superscript, etc. Comparisons were Bonferroni corrected based on the number of comparisons made.
Study 4
Hypothesis
Flirtatious actions by men that suggest commitment and exclusivity were expected to be rated higher in perceived
effectiveness.
Methods
Participants — Participants were 222 women ranging in age from 18 to 77, M= 25.00, SD = 13.19. They were
recruited online via the campus electronic bulletin board at a private University in the Northeastern United States
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Wade & Slemp 37
and via national listservs. Participants did not receive any compensation for their involvement. Eighty-one percent
of the women were Caucasian, 9.4% were Asian, 4.5% were Hispanic, 1.8% were African American and 2.7%
classified themselves as ‘other’. Additionally, 59.6% of the women were on birth control, while the 40.4% reported
not currently using birth control. Also, 94% of the women were heterosexual while 6% were homosexual. Regarding
sexual relationship experience 80% reported having sexual relationship experience while 20% reported no sexual
relationship experience. Lastly, 46.6% reported being currently in a relationship while 53.4% reported not currently
being in a relationship.
Procedure — Participants received an online questionnaire with: demographic questions (age, race, sexual ori-
entation, sexual relationship experience, current relationship status), a short form of the Marlowe Crowne SD
scale (Strahan & Gerbasi, 1972) to be able to rule out/control for socially biased responding, and the 26 flirtatious
acts from Study 1. The following instructions preceded the flirtatious acts:
Below are listed acts that a man might perform to flirt with a woman (indicate to a woman he is interested
in her). We are interested in how effective you think each act would be at achieving this goal. Please read
each action carefully and rate it in terms of how successful it would be in attracting you (indicating to you
that they are interested in you). Use the 7-point scale below each action to indicate the effectiveness of
the action. A 7 means it is highly effective. A 4 means it is moderately effective and a 1 means it is inef-
fective. Please answer truthfully and do not discuss your responses with others answering the questionnaire.
Results
Cronbach’s alpha (1951) revealed that the flirtatious acts for men were reliable, α= .90. As in Study 3, the items
for the social desirability scale were summed to create a social desirability sumscore, and a series of Mixed
Model Repeated Measures ANOVAs with the social desirability sumscore included as a covariate were computed.
The 2(current relationship status) × 26(flirtations) Mixed Model Repeated Measures ANOVA yielded one significant
interaction, F(25, 176) = 1.72, p< .023, η2= .98. Women in relationships rated “He tickles you” as a more effective
act of flirtation (M= 3.83, SD = 1.74) than single women (M= 3.28, SD = 1.87).
Additionally, there was a significant effect for flirtations, F(25, 176) = 9.60, p< .0001, η2= .58, see Table 4. Pairwise
comparisons with Bonferroni corrections based on the number of comparisons computed revealed that the items:
“He holds hands with you”, “He spends time with you,” “He asks you out,” “He makes you laugh,” “He kisses you,”
“He acts interested in you,” and “He has dinner with you” were rated as most effective.
Once again, the social desirability covariate was not significant. Similarly, no other Mixed Model Repeated
Measures ANOVAs that were computed were significant.
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
doi:10.5964/ijpr.v9i1.178
Effective Flirtation 38
Table 4
Mean Perceived Effectiveness of Male Flirtatious Actions.
SDMFlirtatious Act
(a) He holds hands with you .221.015
(b) He spends time with you .091.914
(c) He asks you out .251.914
(d) He kisses you .281.894
(e) He makes you laugh .581.59a
4
(f) He acts interested in you .121.56ab
4
(g) He has dinner with you .221.51abc
4
He calls you .201.46abcd
4
He compliments you .171.24abcd
4
He gives you flowers .481.38abcd
4
He goes to a movie with you .271.06abcdefg
4
He smiles at you .381.04abcdefg
4
He sends valentines .661.01abcdefg
4
He converses with you .541.94abcdefg
3
He laugh at your jokes .381.88abcdefg
3
He gives you gifts .491.88abcdefg
3
He makes body contact with you .451.84abcdefg
3
He makes eye contact with you .511.82abcdefg
3
He does favors for you .451.68abcdefg
3
He tickles you .841.56abcdefg
3
He dances with you .481.48abcdefg
3
He makes random comments to you .771.44abcdefg
3
He asks for your help .451.37abcdefg
3
He has sex with you .981.26abcdefg
3
He buys you a drink .491.12abcdefg
3
He asks for favors from you .451.56abcdefg
2
Note. Higher numbers mean the particular love act was perceived as more effective. Superscripts denote significant dif-
ferences (p< .05), e.g. mean for row a, “He holds hands with you”, is significantly different from means for rows that
have an ‘a’ in their superscript, etc. Comparisons were Bonferroni corrected based on the number of comparisons com-
puted.
Discussion
The results were consistent with the hypotheses. Flirtations from women that suggest sexual access and flirtations
from men that suggest exclusivity, commitment, and caring were perceived as the most effective flirtatious acts.
These actions were rated as most effective because they relate to the characteristics that men and women prefer
for their partners. Buss (1989,2006) reports that men prefer women who are sexually accessible and women
prefer men who suggest that they are willing to commit.
Across all men, the actions that were perceived to be most effective were the following: “She kisses you on the
cheek,” “She rubs against you,” “She moves closer to you,” “She touches you, in general,” and “She touches your
arm”. A kiss on the cheek may be an effective act of flirtation because men may view it as prelude to more pas-
sionate kissing which men view as an action that increases the likelihood of sex (Hughes, Harrison, & Gallup,
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Wade & Slemp 39
2007). This explanation is in line with error management theory (Haselton & Buss, 2000) which points out that
men, in order to not miss out on an opportunity to have sexual relations with a woman, tend to overestimate women’s
actions as indicators of sexual access being granted. Touching on the arm and touching in general may be effective
flirtation techniques because touching is interpreted by men as an indication of sexual interest (Guéguen, 2010).
Moving closer may be an effective flirtation act because intimate interactions occur at smaller distances (Baron
& Byrne, 1981;Hall 1963). Consequently, a man may interpret a woman’s moving closer to him as suggestive of
sexual access. Rubbing against a man may be an effective act of flirtation because it involves touching, and because
it may be similar to actions that take place during a sexual interlude.
Women perceived the following actions to be most effective: “He holds hands with you,” “He spends time with
you,” “He asks you out,” “He kisses you,” “He makes you laugh,” “He acts interested in you,” and “He has dinner
with you”. All of these items reflect a level of commitment/exclusivity, and interest on the part of the man. Additionally,
holding hands involves touching, and in a courtship compliance context women respond positively to a man
touching them (Guéguen, 2007). Guéguen (2007) reports that women view a man touching them in a courtship
context as a signal of dominance and dominance is related to status which is a characteristic that is important for
women’s mate choices (Buss, 1989,2006). Making a woman laugh may be a most effective act of flirtation for
men because humor ability reveals intelligence (Greengross & Miller, 2011;Howrigan & MacDonald, 2008) and
women prefer men who can produce humor (Bressler, Martin, & Balshine, 2006). Having dinner with a woman
may be an effective flirtation act because it conveys interest as well as a willingness on the part of the man to
share resources with a particular woman. Kissing a woman may be an effective flirtation act for men because it
allows a woman to assess the parental investment potential of the man. Hughes et al. (2007) report that via
chemosensory analysis of the saliva in a male’s kiss and via the wetness of a man’s kiss women are able to as-
certain a male’s genetic and parental investment potential.
Women in relationships may rate the flirtation “He tickles you” as a more effective flirtation act than single women
because women in relationships have more experience with tickling than single women do. However, this is
speculative. Thus, additional research is needed to substantiate this explanation.
Conclusion
Flirtations from women that suggest sexual access and flirtations from men that suggest exclusivity, commitment,
and caring were perceived as the most effective flirtatious acts. These findings suggest that individuals can attract
mates effectively via overt/verbal means and via overt actions. Furthermore, the findings show that overt flirtation
has an evolutionary basis just as nonverbal/covert or unconscious flirtation does. Additionally, these findings are
consistent with evolutionary theory based research showing that men and women’s selection of mates is rooted
in reproductive fitness and parental investment concerns. Thus, one can conclude that flirtation is a product of
our evolved mate acquisition adaptations. These findings add to the evolutionary theory based literature on mate
attraction and mate preferences. This does not mean that social learning may not play a role. But, social learning
only provides a proximate explanation rather than an ultimate explanation (Confer et al., 2010) for why such flirtatious
actions would be perceived as most important.
Limitations
The present research examined the perceived effectiveness of men and women’s flirtations rather than the actual
effectiveness. Therefore, additional research is warranted. Future research should examine, if possible, how ef-
Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
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Effective Flirtation 40
fective the actions actually are in attracting men and women. Additionally, the present research involved primarily
US participants. Therefore, additional research including participants from other countries is warranted.
Notes
i) A version of this paper was presented at the 5th Northeastern Evolutionary Psychology Society Conference, Binghamton,
NY.
Funding
The authors have no funding to report.
Competing Interests
The authors have declared that no competing interests exist.
Acknowledgments
The authors have no support to report.
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Interpersona
2015, Vol. 9(1), 32–43
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... Laughing at jokes, making another laugh, and having an intimate conversation are seen as effective flirtation tactics, especially when the goal is to form a longterm romantic relationship (Kennair et al., 2022). Moreover, Wade and Slemp (2015) found that direct flirtations, such as moving closer or touching, were most effective at conveying romantic interest. Similarly, people who report using more direct and physical flirtation tactics report having less difficulty in conveying their interest in others (Hall et al., 2010). ...
... Similarly, people who report using more direct and physical flirtation tactics report having less difficulty in conveying their interest in others (Hall et al., 2010). On the converse, less direct methods, such as starting an innocuous conversation, are seen as less effective flirtation tactics (Wade & Slemp, 2015). However, research on pick-up lines (i.e., opening verbal flirtations) suggests that people prefer indirect methods. ...
... A related yet distinct evolutionary account has also been used to understand gender differences in effective flirtation tactics. To men, women's most effective flirting behaviors are ones that signal sexual access (e.g., kissing on the cheek), whereas to women, men's most effective flirtations signal commitment and exclusivity (Wade & Slemp, 2015). However, the effectiveness of these gendered flirtation tactics depends on relationship goals: women's sexual access signaling is most effective in short-term mating contexts, whereas men's tactics to convey commitment and exclusivity are most effective in long-term mating contexts (Kennair et al., 2022). ...
... There were 399 actions or behaviors nominated by participants. These acts or behaviors were grouped according to similarity of content, and then acts nominated 5 times or more were considered consensus nominated acts consistent with prior research (see Buss, 2016;Wade et al., 2009;Wade & Slemp, 2015;Moran et al., 2020). Ultimately, the act nominations revealed 11 consensus behaviors or acts men would use to solicit hookups, and 18 consensus behaviors or acts that women would use. ...
... The male tactic "he flirts with her" is highly effective, possibly because it signals other characteristics, such as emotionality. For example, prior research shows that men who indicate a willingness to commit emotionally are most effective at flirting (Apostolou & Christoforou, 2020;Wade & Feldman, 2016;Wade & Slemp, 2015). ...
... The female tactic of "she flirts with him" may have been rated as very effective because prior research shows that the female flirtatious behaviors that are most effective involve actions that suggest sexual accessibility (see Apostolou & Christoforou, 2020;Wade & Feldman, 2016;Wade & Slemp, 2015), and sexual accessibility is very important for the selection of female short-term mates (Schmitt & Buss, 1996). ...
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While a great deal of psychological research has been conducted on sex-specific mate choice preferences, relatively little attention has been directed toward how heterosexual men and women solicit short-term sexual partners, and which acts are perceived to be the most effective. The present research relied on an act nomination methodology with the goal of determining which actions are used by men and women to solicit a short-term “hook-up” partner (study 1) and then determine which of these actions are perceived as most effective by men and women (study 2). Using sexual strategy theory, we hypothesized that actions that suggest sexual access would be nominated most often by women whereas actions that suggest a willingness to commit were expected to be nominated most often by men. Additionally, men and women were predicted to rate actions by men that suggest a willingness to commit as most effective and actions by women that suggest sexual access as most effective. The results were consistent with these hypotheses. These findings are discussed in the context of both short- and long-term mating strategies and mate solicitation. The relationship between motivation, sexual strategies, and sexual behavior are examined, along with the need for research on the hookup tactics and motivations of self-identifying gay, lesbian, and bisexual individuals.
... Flirting is considered one of the human interactions that may involve seeking dating partners and can also be the initial part of the courtship (Wade & Slemp, 2015). Shana (2016) argued that flirtation could be defined in two ways: to maintain or enhance the level of an existing intimate relationship or to deliver a message of interest or attraction. ...
... Through this analysis, they conceptualised the first process as energising or motivating individuals when encountering each other. Besides, the interactional process leads others' attention to gestures or movements used in communicating while interpreting others' and their interaction signals Furthermore, social interaction comprises verbal and non-verbal communication (Wade & Slemp, 2015). Users on Tinder use verbal communication to communicate while on the application. ...
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Staying on a social basis does not mean people must cancel their social plans. Instead, a person itself needs to adjust them a bit. Tinder is one of the online interaction platforms that has provided an alternative and effective way for social interaction among society members. Tinder has a minimum of 10 million active users and is a widely used mobile dating application that enables users to date online, especially during the Movement Control Order (MCO). Unfortunately, the pandemic has also snatched away the connections that feed passion, contentment, belonging and all other variations of physical love. This research explores the social interaction among Tinder users on sexual courting during the MCO. Since this is exploratory research, therefore a qualitative research paradigm is used in this research. The data was obtained by using purposive sampling through an in-depth interview. Most users were involved in sexual courting on Tinder during MCO since they are alone, and it is the only way for them to find someone to talk to fill the loneliness. In terms of social interaction style, male Tinder users are more likely to seek relationships and sexual relationships through sexual courting. However, female users tend to be reserved and involved in sexual courting. The research findings can serve as a guideline for society members, especially young adults, to prevent them from falling into the sexual trap. Abstrak Kajian ini bertujuan untuk meneroka interaksi sosial pengguna Tinder semasa Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan (PKP). Menggunakan pendekatan kualitatif, data diperoleh melalui temu bual mendalam dengan pengguna aktif Tinder semasa PKP. Hasil kajian menunjukkan bahawa banyak pengguna, yang merasakan kesunyian semasa PKP, terlibat dalam pergaulan seks sebagai cara untuk mengatasi kesunyian. Pengguna lelaki cenderung mencari hubungan dan hubungan seksual, sementara pengguna perempuan lebih berhati-hati dalam pergaulan seks dan lebih tertumpu kepada pembangunan hubungan sosial. Implikasi kajian ini adalah bahawa terdapat perbezaan dalam gaya interaksi antara pengguna lelaki dan perempuan di Tinder semasa PKP. Hasil kajian ini boleh menjadi panduan untuk masyarakat, terutamanya golongan muda, dalam menggunakan aplikasi seperti Tinder dengan lebih bijak dan bertanggungjawab, dan untuk menghindari risiko pergaulan seksual yang tidak diingini semasa PKP.
... Flirting is one of the first steps in signaling that a person is romantically and sexually interested in a potential partner, and to be successful during the flirting interaction one must leave the situation open for multiple possibilities (Tavory, 2009). For instance, one may begin to flirt with someone already in a relationship or single (Burch et al., 2021;Wade & Slemp, 2015), which can make the interaction a vulnerable experience. This vulnerability taps into the idea that flirting is an "open secret," where the two people involved have minimal knowledge of the other person, however, their shared knowledge is that the flirting event can have various outcomes (Tavory, 2009) and one outcome may be rejection or being told that the pursued is not interested. ...
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Here we investigated how a history of experiencing unwanted advances—both sexual and romantic—impact a person’s stress and strategies when rejecting future advances. In this study (N = 465; 71% women), women reported experiencing unwanted advances earlier in life compared to men, and these women were more likely to have greater worry over such advances. Additionally, women tended to worry more than men about the repercussions of rejecting these advances (e.g., being hit, being yelled at). Lastly, women were more likely to employ a myriad of strategies (e.g., run away, call a friend) to ensure their safety when rejecting an advance. In contrast, men were more likely to remain friends with the rejected person. Ultimately, women have to deal with rejecting advances at an early age and this early onset has consequences for future dating.
... Women rated the gentle approach as more effective, while men rated attractiveness as most effective. Likewise, Wade and Slemp (2015) documented that women whose flirtations advertised sexual access and men whose flirtations advertised emotional commitment were seen as the most effective. Women have also been found to engage in competitive flirting whereby they perform flirtations to out-perform potential rivals who are interested in the same mate (Wade et al., 2021). ...
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One way to initiate a conversation for the purposes of mate attraction is to use a pick-up line. While past research has addressed men’s use of pick-up lines, there has been far less research on those used by women. Here, we explored the perceived effectiveness of women’s pick-up lines, particularly with regard to one’s age but also as correlated with their Big Five personality factors. We hypothesized that both men and women would rate the same pick-up lines as effective and that older participants would rate pick-up lines as more effective than younger participants. Our results indicate that women’s use of direct pick-up lines, sharing things in common, asking for a phone number, indirectly hinting at a date, and asking if single were perceived as most effective by both sexes. We did not support our prediction about age. The results demonstrate that of the Big Five dimensions, extraversion in particular is important and was positively correlated with perceived effectiveness.
... Even so, those in relationships were surprisingly far more likely to flirt than were singles-across the range of flirting approaches. This may reflect how flirting constitutes a safe and typically indirect way to signal attraction and engage with an attractive other, but remain ambiguous about one's interest (Hall et al., 2015;Wade & Slemp, 2015). In line with this view, single participants were far less likely to report keeping their attraction hidden or to express their attraction indirectly through flirting, presumably as they were well-positioned and motivated to advance a new relationship with the attractive other-or at least open to this possibility. ...
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Crushes are uncommunicated, often unilateral, attractions to an individual, generally viewed as a state of unfulfilled longing. They are typically attributed to young people, but recent research suggests that these experiences might be common among adults as well, including among those in committed relationships. Combining findings from three studies across four datasets, this mixed-methods research explores crushes experienced by individuals in committed intimate relationships. Study 1 explored types of crushes, preferences and nature of exchanges among adults in committed relationships and compares their reports to a sample of single individuals. Study 2 examined perceived outcomes of crushes as a way to assess needs or goals served by crushes. Study 3 investigated expectations about whether and how the crush relationship might evolve into a more intimate relationship. A total of 3,585 participants (22–45 years, 53.1% women) completed anonymous online surveys addressing crush experiences and related dynamics. Those in committed relationships typically did not intend to communicate their attraction to the target, unlike single individuals. Associated outcomes were primarily positive, including excitement, increased esteem, and fantasy/escape. The vast majority reported no expectations that these crushes would evolve into more intimate relationships, replacing their current relationship. This work adds to our understanding of attraction outside of traditional human courtship processes, with implications for the study of intimate relationship development and maintenance.
... Relationship preference differences may not have occurred because prior research shows that flirtatious actions engaged in for short and long term mate attraction do not differ (Wade & Slemp, 2015;Wade & Feldman, 2016). Participants may have preferred long term relationships over short term relationships (68% versus 32%) due to their age and the environment they were in. ...
... The women nominated 187 total acts. These acts were examined by two of the authors, consistent with prior research (see Wade & Slemp, 2015). Acts that were similar in content were combined, and then acts nominated 5 times or more were considered consensus nominated acts and comprised the final list of 11 consensus actions that involve: capturing the man's attention, deterring the female competitor, doing both of those aforementioned things, and employing a tie-sign. ...
Article
Here we explored nonverbal actions women use to flirt competitively against each other for the purposes of accessing a mate. We also investigated the perceived effectiveness of these competitive flirting actions. Using act nomination, Study 1 (n = 91) yielded 11 actions (eye contact with the man, dancing in his line of sight, smiling at him, touching him, giggling at his jokes, butting in between the other woman and the man, showing distaste for her, brushing against him, hugging him, flirting with other men, waving to him) for competitive flirtation against other women. Actions that signal possession (e.g., tie-signs) were predicted to be perceived as the most effective. While other actions were included in Study 2 (n = 139), results showed the most effective actions were tie-signs: touching him, initiating eye contact, hugging him, giggling at his jokes, and butting in between him and the rival. These findings are discussed in terms of prior research.
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While there exists some research on offline flirting, there is currently little in the way of conceptual theory or empirical research on flirting in cyberspace. This paper attempts to help redress this balance. The paper initially presents a summary of the behaviour of offline flirting and particularly identifies what constitutes offline flirting signals. Given this background context, suggestions are made as to how we might better conceptualize online flirting. The prevailing wisdom has been that we should focus on the absence of the body in cyberspace. This view is challenged here. Instead, it is argued that researchers should re-orient their focus to how the body is reconstructed online. Winnicott's notions of `potential space' and `transitional objects' are drawn upon in this paper to advance an argument that online flirting should be considered as a form of play. In making this argument, it is contended that online flirting has unique aspects in comparison to offline flirting. In particular, while realistic elements are present in online flirting, there is a blurring between what is reality and fantasy when one engages in flirtatious behaviour on the Internet.
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There is a class of nonverbal facial expressions and gestures, exhibited by human females, that are commonly labeled “flirting behaviors.” I observed more than 200 randomly selected adult female subjects in order to construct a catalog of these nonverbal solicitation behaviors. Pertinent behaviors were operationally defined through the use of consequential data; these behaviors elicited male attention. Fifty-two behaviors were described using this method. Validation of the catalog was provided through the use of contextual data. Observations were conducted on 40 randomly selected female subjects in one of four contexts: a singles' bar, a university snack bar, a university library, and at university Women's Center meetings. The results indicated that women in “mate relevant” contexts exhibited higher average frequencies of nonverbal displays directed at males. Additionally, women who signaled often were also those who were most often approached by a man: and this relationship was not context specific.I suggest that the observation of women in field situations may provide clues to criteria used by females in the initial selection of male partners. As much of the work surrounding human attraction has involved laboratory studies or data collected from couples in established relationships, the observation of nonverbal behavior in field settings may provide a fruitful avenue for the exploration of human female choice in the preliminary stages of male-female interaction.
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While flirting is a relatively underresearched area within psychology, even less is known about how people cyber-flirt. This paper explores how often individuals flirt offline compared to online. Moreover, it attempts to examine how men and women flirt within these different spaces. Five thousand, six hundred and ninety-seven individuals, of which 3554 (62%) were women and 2143 (38%) were men, completed a survey about their flirting behaviour both in face-to-face interactions and in chatrooms. The first hypothesis, which stated that the body would be used to flirt with as frequently online as offline, was partly supported. However, it was found that individuals downplayed the importance of physical attractiveness online. Women flirted by displaying nonverbal signals (offline) or substitutes for nonverbal cues (online), to a greater extent than men. In chatrooms men were more likely than women to initiate contact. It is concluded that cyber-flirting is more than simply a meeting of minds and that future research needs to consider the role of the body in online interactions.
Article
The objective of this exploratory research was to quantify the attributional responses of a number of demographic groups of college students with respect to their perception of diverse flirting situations. 93 undergraduates were classified along 7 demographic variables including marital status, sex, age, college class, grade-point average, ethnic origin, and religious affiliation. A 32-item questionnaire pertaining to interpersonal flirting was constructed to represent a wide range of situations. The questionnaire was administered to students in classroom situations. A Kruskal-Wallis one-way analysis of variance by ranks applied to individual items across different demographic groups offered support for certain widely held beliefs such as the findings that men show more interest in returning a flirtation, and married people are less likely to want to follow up a flirtation. Other results were quite unexpected, such as women and single people being less optimistic about the number of people they could “seduce” if they chose to try. Attributions are discussed in terms of intentions or behaviors.