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doi:10.7592/FEJF2013.53.gustavsson
DEATH AND BEREAVEMENT ON THE
INTERNET IN SWEDEN AND NORWAY
Anders Gustavsson
Abstract: Memorial websites on the Internet constitute a new form for express-
ing grief and for remembering deceased relatives and friends. In my sample of
memorial websites, I have studied those that are open to the public. Such memo-
rial sites have had an explosive development during the 2000s. The messages
become a virtual, social meeting place by giving mourners an opportunity to
express themselves and avoid remaining alone with their grief. In this study the
all-inclusive issue has been how mourners express their emotions and concepts
of belief regarding the deceased person. The question focused upon is the belief in
something posthumously supernatural. Memorial sites on the Internet are also set
up for dead pets. The boundary between humans and animals as spiritual beings
is discussed in the study. In Norway the vision is primarily directed backwards,
relating to traditions, and in Sweden forwards, in the direction of changes. In
Sweden there is a greater tendency to adopt innovations and to leave the long-
standing. This study can, in addition, play a part in the contemporary discussion
about greater outspokenness concerning death, compared to the prevalent silence
and taboos of the 1900s.
Keywords: grief, innovation, memorial websites, national comparison, tradition
INTRODUCTION
As a cultural historian and folklorist, I have carried out research on varying
themes and perspectives concerning death and dying in Sweden and Norway.
My rst studies were done in the 1960s and the 1970s about social distinctions
in old cemeteries and about older burial customs and their survival, as well as
their respective disappearance. One study concerned the disappearance of a
very ancient funerary ritual in which guests drank a glass of wine or, in Nor-
way, beer, in memory of the deceased and as a gesture of farewell just before
the cofn was taken to the burial (Gustavsson 1973). This study was part of a
bigger project at the University of Lund, which concentrated on life cycle from
birth until death in Sweden (Bringéus 1987).
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After the 1970s, I left the research eld concerning death and dying for
a long time. This theme was not any longer topical within cultural research
discussions in Scandinavia – on the contrary, it was practically a taboo to
study such a theme. I noted, however, that an observable change occurred
in the 2000s. This is in line with what the Danish sociologist Michael Hviid
Jacobsen has found within social science after the 1980s. Then themes around
death and dying could be brought to the fore instead of the earlier tabooing
(Hviid Jacobsen 2009). In this new research situation I returned to study death
and dying in earlier times but with an emphasis on the 1990s and the 2000s
(Döden 2009). The research perspectives have been concentrated on individual
symbols, collective rituals and messages and beliefs expressed on the Internet.
The rst study dealt with symbols of gravestones in cemeteries in Norway and
Sweden in the 1990s and onwards and was performed within the research
project Symbols of Death, started in 2000. I was especially interested in the
new expressions of individualism in cemeteries. Questions about the growing
individualism instead of earlier collectivism became obvious in ethnological
discussions (Gustavsson 2003).
The second study discussed collective rituals around sudden death in recent
times and was worked out within a collaboration project by cultural historians at
the University of Oslo, and was concerned with different perspectives on rituals
(Ritualer 2006). The third and latest study deals with bereavement expressed
on the memorial sites for dead humans and pets on the Internet. Emphasis
is placed on the analysis of the contents of the messages which stress a per-
spective of faith. This study has been worked out within the interdisciplinary
research network named Nordic Network of Thanatology (NNT), founded in
2010, and Belief Narrative Network within the global International Society for
Folk Narrative Research (ISFNR) (www.isfnr.org). I summarised many of my
studies on death, burials and bereavement from earlier times until recently
in a publication in English, entitled Cultural Studies on Death and Dying in
Scandinavia (Gustavsson 2011).
It became important to compare the situations and developments in Norway
and Sweden, as beginning from 1997 I worked as a professor at the University
of Oslo, Norway, instead of my earlier academic positions in Sweden, in the
old universities in Lund and Uppsala. In the 1980s and 1990s I met renewed
discussions about national characters both in Norway (Hodne 1994) and in
Sweden (Arnstberg 1989; Daun 1989), but no national comparisons were made
within ethnology and cultural history. However, I became interested in such
comparisons, through which it may be easier to observe the characteristic traits
between cultures and in this case national characters. From the end of the
1990s I worked within a Swedish-Norwegian border project under the title
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
Cultural Encounters of the Borders (Danielsson & Gustavsson 1999) and was
able, through eldworks with interviews and photographs from both sides of the
border, to observe many differences between these two neighbouring countries,
which I had not imagined earlier.
During the 2000s, research on the material obtained from the Internet began
to attract attention in the cultural sciences. This is seen, inter alia, in the articles
in the annual Ethnologia Scandinavica 2009, which is devoted to critical ques-
tions about the Internet as a research source. Also of interest is the anthology
Digital Storytelling edited by Norwegian sociologist Knut Lundby in 2008. The
term ‘netnography’ has been taken into use. Robert V. Kozinets has provided
the following denition: “Netnography is participant-observational research
based on online eldwork. It uses computer-mediated communications as a
source of data to arrive at the ethnographic understanding and representation
of a cultural or communal phenomenon” (Kozinets 2010: 60). The International
Society for Ethnology and Folklore (SIEF) published an anthology Shaping
Virtual Lives in 2012 (Shaping 2012).
In this new research situation I decided to study memorial sites that I had
observed on the Internet. This new medium affords undreamt of and hitherto
quite unexploited opportunities for conducting cultural research by allowing
access to the emotions, beliefs and experiences of present-day people. The me-
morial websites constitute a new form for expressing grief and for remembering
deceased relatives and friends. The messages are expressed by individuals on
their own PCs in the privacy of their homes.
Because the messages and the imaginary conversations are published on the
Internet, they are also accessible to outsiders, both acquaintances and stran-
gers, including scholars. In my sample of memorial websites, I have studied
those that are open to the public. Because of ethical reasons, I have avoided the
ones that are available only to a limited circle or for which the guest must log
on. The new Internet media, including memorial websites, have led to wholly
new perspectives on ethical questions about private and public spheres when
compared to previously held opinions (Hannemyr 2009). The scholar would act
unethically as a spy if he or she logged on and became a member of such closed
sites merely to observe and record, not to contribute a personal message.
Respect for anonymity is vital, as I study persons who write messages with-
out their being aware of being followed. Anonymity in this study is achieved by
omitting the surnames of message writers in my text. Messages on memorial
websites usually include a photograph of the deceased, often a whole series of
photos taken during the life of the deceased. These I have chosen not to pub-
lish because this would make identication easier. What is essential is that
the scholar consciously tries to avoid inicting mental harm upon those who
are being studied.
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Anders Gustavsson
As a cultural scholar, one cannot escape being affected psychologically when
reading all the extremely sorrowful and emotional messages on memorial web-
sites. The scholar’s insight power and feelings of empathy are vital in familiar-
ising them with and interpreting the experiences of those persons who share
their often despairing emotions.
Conducting the study on a regional basis in Norway and Sweden has not
been possible, because the residences of the deceased and the writers are sel-
dom noted; nor has it been possible to gain any knowledge of the writers’ social
statuses.
Memorial sites have undergone an explosive development during the 2000s.
In 2008 there were about 600 memorial websites in Sweden (Dagens Nyheter,
October 6, 2008). My research deals with memorial websites that became avail-
able in Norway and Sweden during 2009 and 2010, with the most extensive
material being found in Sweden. My aim is to compare the situation in these
two countries. What differences and/or similarities can be noted on memorial
sites? What can be the causes for these differences? Innovation acceptance is
contrasted with the preservation of traditions.
The memorial websites were set up by people who had recently suffered
extreme grief in their immediate relationships.1 Messages about one and the
same deceased person can continue over several years in connection with, for
example, birthdays, name days and anniversaries of the dead ones. Although
I have read messages posted on a great number of memorial sites, this study
is by no means quantitative. As the memorial websites are so new, it is not yet
possible to study changes over time, but it may be possible through renewed
studies later on in the future.
Those who post messages on memorial websites are for the most part women,
often mothers or widows and sometimes sisters. What can be the cause of this
gender difference? It may be that at times of crisis men have more difculty
in expressing their deep emotions in words, and instead they move away and
take shelter behind their wives’ or partners’ backs.
These websites become a virtual, social meeting place, giving mourners an
opportunity to express themselves and avoid remaining alone in their grief. A
new social fellowship arises, which is neither restricted in terms of space nor
related to previous contacts in one’s life. This was not possible before the In-
ternet time. Memorial websites help to keep the memory of the deceased alive
and not to be easily forgotten. Close relatives in the state of mourning are thus
clearly gratied when other people post messages and when they light symbolic
candles without words in memory of the deceased. A number of newspaper
stories mainly in Sweden but also in Norway are based on interviews about
the value of memorial websites and blogs for the closest grieving relatives in
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
their prolonged process of mourning. This is an obvious example of the media’s
increasing frankness about reporting on the very real and intimate aspects of
death that strike individuals.
In my present study the all-inclusive issue is how mourners on the memorial
websites express their emotions and concepts of belief regarding the deceased
person. The question focused upon is the belief in something posthumously super-
natural, and not primarily the rational expression of grief such as remembrance,
loss and love. Do concepts of life after death exist and how are they expressed?
What is the status of the deceased considered to be on the other side and is he
or she accessible in any way for the mourners? Can the dead be aware of and
perceive the messages that the living send to them? Is any form of dialogue
possible with them? Can the living at a certain point in the future, after their
own deaths, be reunited with their dead loved ones and friends?
Memorial sites on the Internet are also set up for dead pets (in my research
cats), for their former owners to express beliefs about what happens to pets
after they die. The xing of the boundary between humans and animals as
spiritual beings is discussed.
This study can, in addition, play a part in the contemporary discussion about
greater outspokenness concerning death, compared to the prevalent silence
and taboos of the 1900s. The general trend, remarked upon by Michael Hviid
Jacobsen (2009), can have aided people in the extreme, without the need to
confront other people in person.
BEREAVEMENT EXPRESSED ON MEMORIAL WEBSITES FOR
DECEASED PERSONS
The concept that the deceased are somewhere in heaven is very common in the
messages. There they can meet with others who have died and live together with
them. In their messages in guest books, other mourners can express hopes that
their various relatives will be able to meet one another even if they were not
acquainted during their earthly lives. A new fellowship that is comprehended
to be real and similar to earthly life is assumed to occur after death. The de-
ceased are believed to be able to continue practising their activities in heaven.
Doubt or absolute denial of any form of existence after death is extremely rare
in the messages.
It is often thought that the deceased can be contacted by the living and that
the latter can even communicate their messages to the deceased on a computer.
The technical possibilities of this life are, in other words, transferable to the
existence on the far side of death. When the deceased are in heaven, they both
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Anders Gustavsson
watch over and protect their friends and relatives. The conception of a reunion
with the deceased sometime in the future often appears in the messages. A new
existence and fellowship can begin that will never end. Finiteness is replaced
by the everlasting, and joy is restored supremely. This is something to look
forward to as a consolation in one’s state of grief.
Belief in angels occurs in the messages very often. In order to enter their
world, the deceased must climb an endless stairway that is depicted in some
of the messages. The meeting with angels is described in a clearly positive
context for the deceased. They can also speak in poetic form about how happy
they are among angels. When Marcus suddenly died in 2002 at 20 years of age,
his mother Mari-Anne wrote poems in which her son spoke to her from heaven.
Because it is so good to be “where angels dwell”, Marcus’s mother believes that
her son “will have a wonderful birthday party up there with the angels. I can
see how you smile and laugh on your special day”. This was written on Marcus’s
twenty-fth birthday in 2007 (www.tillminneavmarcus.dinstudio.se).
It is in keeping with neo-religious New Age conceptions (Alver 1999) that
angels are the beings mainly discussed as having a supernatural or divine
Figure 1. Angels guard the stairs that the dead use to climb up to heaven (www.
tillminneav.se/showPage.php?id=.344, no longer available).
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
character. Neither darkness nor punishment occurs after death, which is fully
in line with present-day neo-religious movements.
A conception that is also used is that the deceased is a gift or a loan from
God. God and Jesus are mentioned more often in Norwegian than in Swedish
messages. This is especially noticeable in messages written by teenagers. When
a Norwegian boy Trond was killed in a trafc accident at the age of 15, three
girls from his class wrote: “God loves to pick owers, and now he has picked
the nest one, that’s you, Trond”. Several other school friends mentioned God
in their memorial messages about Trond.
A common concept is that children and young people become angels after
death. This is in striking contrast to earlier beliefs in which the deceased were
supposed to be souls, not angels. British sociologist Tony Walter has also found
a similar change concerning beliefs in England (Walter 2011). The mothers of
the dead ones call themselves ‘Mothers of angels’. In addition, we can see the
glorication of the deceased that is expressed by calling them the very best,
nest or prettiest angels in heaven. The deceased can continue to spread joy and
humour in heaven just as they had done on earth. For example, when Anders
died suddenly at 45 years of age, his wife wrote:
All the angels are going to experience your good humour; the winds will
spread the sound of angels laughing at your jokes.
(www.tillminneav.se/showPage.php?id=683)
Figure 2. The mother of a deceased daughter has written: “Hugs from your beloved
mother”. The angel has both the halo and wings and may probably represent the
daughter (www.tillminneav.se/showPage.php?id=34, no longer available).
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Anders Gustavsson
Memorial websites dedicated to the deceased generally contain far more tradi-
tional Christian conceptions in Norway than in Sweden. This concerns refer-
ences to God and Jesus. In Sweden, we can observe more of a diffuse, general
religiosity that reminds us of New Age modes of thought in which individuals
and the brightness of a coming existence have a prominent position.
It can be difcult to give an explicit answer as to why former traditions asso-
ciated with the deceased in general have a stronger position in Norway. A more
obvious degree of secularisation clearly plays a certain role in Sweden. Another
factor is individualism that is more evident in Sweden than in Norway. This is
also visible in the choice of symbols on gravestones in Sweden and Norway in
recent times (Gustavsson 2003). In Sweden there is often a tendency to regard
what is new as being positive, to focus on the cheerful events emphasised by
the media. The result can be that one covers over anything that is sorrowful.
When a child dies in the womb, it is quite usual for a mother in Sweden,
but not in Norway, to write one or more messages on memorial websites. This
usually results in several guest book messages from other mothers who have
lost children in the same way. We often meet the declaration about the stillborn
infant being an angel. This angel was in a hurry to return to heaven where
the other angels dwelled. Angels are most often mentioned without God being
named. A picture of a child with angel’s wings is sometimes attached. These
mothers call themselves ‘Angel-mommies’. The infant’s existence on the far
side of death is seen as being a very real life. This is especially noticeable in
messages that are written on delivery anniversaries. Parents can then imagine
a birthday party in heaven and even send up a balloon. The mother of a girl
called Adelsoe, who died in 2006, wrote:
Play with your angel friends and meet Mummy on the day when I come
up to you! I’m looking forward to embracing you! [...] I do so hope that I
will come to you in angel-land where time does not exist.
(www.adelsoe.webs.com/mammastankertiliver.htm, no longer available)
In some cases parents state that they believe or in other cases know that after
their own deaths they will see their children again in some vague future.
It can be said that a nal characteristic of the memorial websites for still-
born infants is that they really do not differ in any way from the ones relating
to living children who have died. In their reactions of grief, parents do not dif-
ferentiate between a living and a stillborn child. Children are seen as coming
to a different and supernatural existence. They have been borrowed, whether
they were born alive or died in the womb. The sorrow does not begin only after
the death of a child born alive but concerns also a stillborn child.
I have conducted a special study of memorial websites relating to suicidal
acts. Such sites contain numerous distinctive elements compared to websites
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
dedicated to other dead persons; also, clear differences between Norway and
Sweden can be observed. These distinctive elements include criticism of the
deceased, self-reproach among close relatives and friends, criticism of psychi-
atric treatment and repudiation of existing suicide guides. There are also some
similarities between websites relating to suicides and those set up for other
dead persons.
Despite their sorrow, sense of loss and shock, some Swedish statements and
guest book messages show that close relatives nd comfort in believing that
the person who died through suicide could have come to a different existence
after death. It is believed to be better than the life the deceased once had and
consciously chose to leave. This new existence is, however, conceived of as being
diffuse. These are not traditional religious conceptions. No thoughts of punish-
ment after death are expressed. This corresponds fully with the neo-religious
conceptions of ‘the regained paradise’ (Kraft 2011). In Sweden, the surviving
relatives are also believed to be able to make contact with the deceased in the
latter’s new existence. Numerous messages mention the probability of a reun-
ion between the surviving relatives and the deceased in some vague future.
So, the sister of a young man called Pierre, who took his life in 2005 when 20
years of age, wrote:
I hope you will meet all of us, one after the other, with wide-open arms
when it’s our turn to come to the other side, because I know you are there
somewhere and are waiting for us. (www.tillminneav.se)
Figure 3. This picture was published on a memorial website for Ehline,
who committed suicide in 2007, at the age of 31. The text reads: ‘May
angels watch over you’ (www.minneavehline.blogg.se).
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Anders Gustavsson
The deceased can also meet angels in the afterlife who care for them. They can
as well be conceived of as being angels. This is more frequently spoken of than
are conceptions of angels helping the deceased. A glorication of the deceased
often occurs, in which the latter is seen as being the best angel that can be found.
In Sweden, the differences between suicides and other deaths have largely
been wiped out. A certain standardisation has taken place, comparable to what
has occurred in many other areas of social life. Equality, not differentiation,
concerns all, according to the dominant political and media norms that have
become increasingly strong. In order to achieve equality, former boundaries
separating people must be broken down. As ideas of equal worth for all people
have become the great ideal, this is also expressed on the memorial websites
for the deceased. The belief in some diffuse existence after death, conceptions of
angels and a conviction about the surviving relatives’ reunion in some distant
future with the person they have lost through suicide is consistent with what
is expressed on the memorial websites set up for deceased persons in general.
This same consistency is valid with regard to questions of glorication and
honouring of the deceased.
Figure 4. “Light a candle for my angel child,” wrote Ehline’s
mother on October 31, 2009 (www.minneavehline.blogg.se).
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
Norway is more restrained when it comes to expressing oneself about suicide,
and the boundary between suicide and other deaths is marked in an entirely
different manner. One does not encounter conceptions of an existence after death
for those who have committed suicide. Glorication or expressions of honour are
unthinkable, since this could lead to others being tempted to commit suicides.
A so-called emotional contagion (sometimes known as “spillover effect”) is to be
hindered in every possible way. In Sweden, however, there is a clearly expressed
conception about how messages on memorial websites can prevent suicide in
that they show the unfortunate effects this has on the closest relatives. There
are a number of visitors on Swedish guest books relating to suicide, who write
that what they have read about suicides on the memorial websites encourages
them not to take their own lives. They have gained a clear understanding of
how much suffering a suicide causes to the closest relatives and friends.
The Norwegian material consisting of memorial websites about suicide is
quantitatively scanty as compared to what exists in Sweden. This indicates
that the former tabooing of suicide containing elements of shame is obviously
greater in Norway. There also appears to be more keeping to former negative
beliefs about those who commit suicide with reference to a coming afterlife. The
stability of tradition is clearly more evident in Norway. Reticence concerned with
speaking and writing about suicide is also noticeable in media presentations. In
Sweden, too, the media was long restrained about mentioning personal names
and writing articles about suicide. The death of the wrestler Mikael Ljungberg
in 2004 resulted in a clearly observable change. It is after this period of time
that more and more memorial websites have been established for persons who
have committed suicide.
Even if equality and standardisation have become the ideal in Sweden,
there are also certain differences between the websites set up for those who
have committed suicide and those who have died in other ways. This is shown
by the criticism, and not only glorication, that can be expressed about those
who have taken their lives. The deceased cause extreme sorrow among their
closest relatives and friends. For example, a young man named Janne took his
own life when he and his girlfriend were 19 years of age. They had met in the
evening, and had hugged and kissed each other. That same night he gassed
himself to death, despite having said to his girlfriend, ‘see you tomorrow’. She
expressed her anger in the following way:
Oh, how mad I was at him. How could he do this to me? We had planned
to sit together in a nursing home, drinking beer and smoking Marlboros.
(www.metrobloggen.se/jsp/public/permalink.jsp?article=19.6367435)
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Anders Gustavsson
Criticism of this kind is even stronger in Norway than in Sweden. The words
‘egoism’ and ‘cowardice’ related to the deceased are conceptions that I have
encountered on Internet websites only in Norway.
BEREAVEMENT ON MEMORIAL WEBSITES FOR PETS
Around 2000, scholarly interest arose among especially Norwegian ethnolo-
gists in studying the cultural connections between Man and animals, and a
big research project was conceived on this topic in Oslo (Thorsen 2001). In that
connection I chose to study memorial sites for dead pets, particularly cats. Us-
ing specic examples from animal graveyards, I found expressions of emotional
intimacy between humans and their pets. Swedish memorial websites on the
Internet for deceased pets began to appear at about the turn of the millennium,
in 2000, with discussion forums and guest books.2 The number of such web-
sites has increased noticeably since 2005. During the 2000s they also began to
appear in Norway but not to the same extent as in Sweden.3 The people who
contribute to these guest books are for the most part those who have had simi-
lar experiences of losing their cats. The guest books thus become a form of a
meeting place where emotions and faith can be expressed and shared without
the participants having had any previous familiarity with one another.
The issues considered in my study focus on the way in which pet owners
express their emotions and their faith when confronted with the reality of the
death of their animals. Have the memories and emotions regarding pets as-
sumed forms that resemble the way in which close relatives mourn a person
who has died? Can conceptions about the existence after death also be perceived
in the case of animals and how are they expressed?
There are many cases in Sweden, and some also in Norway, of long descrip-
tions of what the cat has meant to its owner in many different situations over
the years. A photo or a drawing of the deceased cat is usually found in online
messages. In Sweden there are some examples of such photos that have been
replaced by a black cross exactly like those found in some obituary notices for
humans. This never occurs in Norway. The glorication of the cat is evident
in most cases. The cat has provided psychological support for the owners. The
Swedish contributions describe such a degree of intimacy between the human
and the cat that the latter assumes completely human characteristics.
Detailed descriptions of how the cat died are commonly included in the texts
in both the Swedish and the Norwegian material. These descriptions obvi-
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
ously constitute a way of adjusting to grief by allowing the owners to express
their experiences of what has taken place. Intense and severe emotions are
usually expressed especially in connection with the gruelling decision to have
the veterinarian put the animal down. The psychological pain caused by the
cat’s sufferings has been very difcult to endure. In their grief, the owners in
Sweden in some cases direct their accusations towards God. Such statements
about God in relation to pets cannot be found in the Norwegian material. Here
religion is kept separate from the death of an animal.
Generally speaking, it appears that pets are clearly integrated members in
the families of those persons who choose to publish messages on the Internet.
This applies to those who have the greatest need for expressing their grief and
for sharing it with others. Grief and its accompanying emotions concerning the
deceased pet have been provided with an opportunity to be expressed in the
public sphere by making use of the Internet. In a developing modern society
no need is felt for concealing grief from the others. It may even be less painful
to write down one’s experiences than to express them among one’s nearest and
dearest. The discussion forums on the Internet can in this way be of genuine
assistance for surviving the lengthy process of mourning and for sharing it with
others. In the midst of a difcult situation of grief, it may be of great help to
realise that other people can publish contributions that will offer consolation
and in which they can share their own previous experiences of endured grief.
Traumatic emotions can be relieved when they surface through weeping or by
written messages instead of being concealed. Answers may be received that
can aid in the release of feelings in a grief-stricken situation.
A frequently recurring motif in Swedish statements is the concept of a future
transcendent existence for the cat. The cat is thus believed to have acquired
a new life in this feline heaven, which has a strong resemblance to its former
living conditions on earth. Earthly life is in this way projected onto an assumed
existence after death. Not only humans but also pets can be regarded as angels.
The angel status can sometimes begin already during lifetime but manifests
itself especially after death. The belief is very similar concerning dead humans
and pets in Sweden. One expression that is used is that the deceased cat has
passed on over the so-called ‘rainbow bridge’ to another world, called the Rain-
bow Country, where there are only positive emotions. In some cases a rainbow
is depicted in the Internet contributions, as well as the ‘rainbow bridge’ that
winds up towards the clouds.
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Anders Gustavsson
Belief in a future reunion between the cat and its owner on the far side of death
can often be expressed. A belief of this kind can be linked to a Christian faith
in some cases and not merely to a diffuse and general religiousness. There are
also some instances in Sweden, as well as a few in Norway, of a cat having
been ascribed an angelic character. The cat Mitzi is characterised as being an
angel in the feline heaven. This demonstrates an obvious similarity to what
has become common on memorial sites dedicated to human beings. In this re-
gard, a clearly religious element has appeared in recent years, something that
reminds one of the manifestations of angels related to neo-religious conceptions
that have been linked to the recent deaths of young people in Sweden and, to
some extent, also in Norway. A belief of this kind about deceased cats living on
after death, experiencing continued contacts with their surviving owners and
meeting them again after they themselves die, seems to be a new phenomenon
that has manifested itself on the Internet. Norwegian Internet sites contain
some examples concerning a fairly diffuse existence of the deceased cats after
their death, but far from as many as in Sweden. The two Norwegian exam-
ples of cats as angels do not mention a possible future existence in heaven. In
Norway, such expressions of faith are reserved solely for deceased people. The
xing of the boundary between humans and animals as spiritual beings is more
pronounced in Norway than in Sweden. Norwegian contributions sometimes
indicate a direct criticism towards ‘humanlike characterisation’. Again, Norway
has saved considerably more of the earlier tradition than Sweden. The concept
of the ‘rainbow bridge’ does, however, occasionally surface in Norway.
Figure 5. A place called Rainbow Bridge (www.acreswaycats.com/rainbowbridge.htm).
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Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
Swedish texts on the Internet consist of longer and more emotional mes-
sages than those I discovered in Norway. Conceptions of a feline heaven and
angelic forms after death were in the focus in Sweden. This constitutes a mani-
fest difference as compared to Norway. There the spiritual dimension in the
form of pictorial symbols and texts is more pronounced on human graves than
in Sweden (Gustavsson 2003). The situation between these two countries is
entirely reversed regarding animal graves or animal memorial websites. In
Sweden, the spiritual dimension after death is actually more pronounced with
reference to animals than to humans. Changes in Sweden correspond with
the preservation of traditions in Norway. Openness as regards death and the
concept that one can converse with the deceased animal clearly appears to be
on the increase in Sweden. Evidence has been found in Sweden, but not in
Norway, that grief-stricken owners have conducted conversations with their
dead cats on the Internet in the hope that the cats will be able to hear them
communicate. The cat Isa that died in 2001, at the age of fteen, received the
following message from her owner:
I want you to know that I keep a picture of you on my bedside table and
that I chat with you every evening and say good night; have you heard
me? (www.katt.nu/kyrko-minnes5.htm)
One might actually speak of an anthropomorphic process. As a main result,
I have found that the previously strict boundaries between humans and pets
are increasingly in a state of ux in Sweden. Norwegian contributions, on the
contrary, can sometimes indicate a direct criticism towards ‘humanlike char-
acterisation’.
SOME CONCLUDING REMARKS
In the present time, memorials on the Internet have given the scholars quite
new possibilities to investigate the processes of bereavement concerning both
deceased humans and pets. The changes can be very different in varying cul-
tural but also national contexts. This is clearly visible in the comparison be-
tween Norway and Sweden. Tradition is the opposite of changes and this must
be analysed in the light of different historical presumptions. In Norway the
vision is primarily directed backwards, relating to traditions, and in Sweden
forwards, in the direction of changes. Sweden features a marked tendency to
adopt innovations and to leave the long-standing. One factor behind this is the
stress on individuals in Sweden. The messages posted on the websites are both
shorter and less emotional in Norway than in the case of their counterparts
in Sweden, who observe more a diffuse, general religiosity that reminds us of
114 www.folklore.ee/folklore
Anders Gustavsson
New Age modes of thought, in which individuals and the brightness of a coming
existence have a prominent position. In Sweden people tend to regard what is
new as being positive, to focus on cheerful events. Life’s darkest moments can
be given a brighter shape. In this respect, Norway can be seen as being more
realistic in its preservation of older traditions and in not merely rejecting life’s
darker sides without further discussion.
The Internet contributions studied here provide opportunities for establish-
ing a number of fundamental ideas about contemporary humans. It is obvious
that intense emotions need to nd their expression in words and must not be sup-
pressed within the thoughts of separate individuals. The process of grief must
be allowed to be shared with others even if this is not done verbally within one’s
immediate circle of friends and relatives. It is not unproblematic to converse
with just anyone about one’s innermost feelings and traumatic experiences.
Here the Internet can serve as a public sphere providing welcome relief when
struggling to endure the difculties of the grief process. Mourners can sit at
their PCs in the privacy of their homes and express their innermost feelings and
beliefs, and communicate them to a large number of mostly unknown people.
The writers do not need to meet them physically, but can still receive responses
and sympathy from those who have experienced similar difcult situations.
The mourner of a deceased pet maintains anonymity. This constitutes a dif-
ference compared to the memorial sites devoted to humans, in which the name
of the deceased as well as the years of birth and death are stated. Despite the
fact that anonymity is thus set aside, the mourners express themselves very
openly. It may be easier to show grief openly for a close relative or friend than
for a pet. In the social context, showing grief for the latter’s death may be con-
sidered as less acceptable.
NOTES
1 The following are the homepages for mourners which I have studied in Sweden: www.
bloggtoppen.se/tema/sorg/ (theme/sorrow); www.efterlevande.se/aktuell.html (the na-
tional league of widows and widowers), www.evigaminnen.se/minnessida/ (eternal
memory); www.hem.passagen.se/anglaforum (angel forum); www.hem.passagen.se/an-
glaringen/ (angel ring); www.kanalen.org/barn-i-minne/sidor.html (children in memo-
riam); www.livetefterdoden, www.bloggagratis.se (life after death); www.metrobloggen.
se (metro blog); www.minnesljus.se (memorial light); www.minneslunden.se (memorial
grove); www.minnessidan.se (memorial site); www.mista.se (loss – begun in 2007);
www.samsorg.se (SAMS cooperation for people in sorrow); www.smaanglar.org/ (little
angels – organised by the parent association Little Angels); www.sorginfo.se (grief
information – begun in 2005); www.tillminneav.se/showpage.phd?id (in memoriam,
begun in 2006 and visited by more than one million people by 2010); www.vimil.se
Folklore 53 115
Death and Bereavement on the Internet in Sweden and Norway
(those who have lost a loved one in the midst of life – begun in 2005); www.vsfb.se/
main/page (a non-prot parents’ association for those who have lost a child).
The Norwegian memorial sites that I have studied are: www.englesiden.com (angels’
site); www.etbarnforlite.no/Menysider/nyheter.htm (a child too few, set up by the as-
sociation We Who Have a Child Too Few); www.forum.smartmamma.com/showthread.
php (smart mama); www.hvilifred.no/index.php?id (rest in peace); www.minnelunden.
no (the memorial grove).
2 Http://hem.fyristorg.com/djurens_himmel (access restricted); www.katt.nu/kyrko-
minnes.htm.
3 Examples of Norwegian websites are www.hakrilas.no/tilminne, www.dyresonen.no
(access restricted) and www.turtlecats-birma.net.
INTERNET SOURCES
www.acreswaycats.com/rainbowbridge.htm, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.bloggtoppen.se/tema/sorg/, no longer available
www.dyresonen.no, access restricted
www.efterlevande.se/aktuell.html, no longer available
www.englesiden.com, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.etbarnforlite.no/Menysider/nyheter.htm, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.evigaminnen.se/minnessida/, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.forum.smartmamma.com/showthread.php, no longer available
www.hakrilas.no, last accessed on April 9, 2013.
www.hem.fyristorg.com/djurens_himmel, no longer available
www.hem.passagen.se/anglaforum, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.hem.passagen.se/anglaringen/, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.hvilifred.no/index.php?id, last accessed on April 9, 2013.
www.isfnr.org, last accessed on April 9, 2013.
www.kanalen.org/barn-i-minne/sidor.html, no longer available
www.katt.nu/kyrko-minnes.htm, last accessed on April 9, 2013.
www.livetefterdoden.com, no longer available
www.bloggagratis.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.metrobloggen.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.minnelunden.no, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.minnesljus.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.minneslunden.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.minnessidan.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.mista.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.samsorg.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.smaanglar.org/, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.sorginfo.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.tillminneav.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.turtlecats-birma.net, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.vimil.se, last accessed on April 9, 2013
www.vsfb.se/main/page, last accessed on April 9, 2013
Anders Gustavsson
www.folklore.ee/folklore
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