Content uploaded by Amy Baker
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Amy Baker on Jan 27, 2016
Content may be subject to copyright.
A preview of the PDF is not available
Beyond the High Road: Responding to 17 Parental Alienation Strategies without Compromising Your Morals or Harming Your Child
Abstract
If you are concerned that you are being targeted for parental alienation by the other parent of your child, you may feel compelled to take what you believe to be is the "high road" when responding to parental alienation attitudes and behaviors. According to conversations with hundreds of targeted parents, this high road appears to be conceptualized as not confronting the alienating parent in front of the child and not saying anything that could be construed as critical about the alienating parent to the child. The rationale for this approach appears to be three-fold. First, targeted parents seem to believe that to respond with anything short of the high road would entail behaving like an alienating parent, which would be morally and ethically wrong. They believe that they would lose their moral authority with themselves and their child. This belief is summed up in the old adage "Two wrongs don't make a right." Targeted parents have asked, "How can I complain about the other parent badmouthing me and then respond by badmouthing that parent?" For some targeted parents, they identify themselves as the "good" parent, the one who does not engage in alienating behaviors. To succumb to the desire to respond in kind to the alienation is to become the very thing that they hate the most. The second reason for taking what is perceived to be the high road is the fear that should they try to point out to the child how the other parent is engaging in badmouthing and why this is wrong, they would be increasing the pressure on their child and placing him or her in an untenable position of having to explain, justify, or perhaps even defend the acts of their other parent. Targeted parents are highly attuned to what they believe to be the negative effects of the other parent's alienating strategies and are reluctant to do more of the same to the child.
... The Baker Strategy Questionnaire (BSQ) is based on research and theory with "adult children of parental alienation syndrome" as well as parents involved in custody disputes (Baker 2007;Baker & Chambers, 2011;Baker & Darnall, 2006;Baker & Fine, 2008) regarding the most common parental alienation strategies. The BSQ assesses the perception of the frequency of 17 alienation tactics while the subject was growing up (with a few being represented in more than one item). ...
... Mental health and legal professionals should also be provided with training in the specific forms of parental alienation so that they can be better informed when interacting with divorced families. Parents who believe that the other parent is engaged in these behaviors need concrete ideas and suggestions for how to respond, such as those offered by Baker and Fine (2008) and Warshak (2001). Simply taking the high road, as many targeted parents are counseled to do, might not be sufficient to counter the negative messages the children are receiving. ...
Direct and indirect effects of exposure to 19 parental alienation strategies in 118 adult children of divorce were examined via a confidential and anonymous computer survey. We investigated the nature and prevalence of alienation strategies to which this sample was exposed as well as associations between exposure and self-esteem and self-sufficiency. In turn, we examined and found associations between self-esteem and higher rates of depression and insecure attachment styles and a trend for an association with alcohol abuse. All effects were found even after controlling for histories of physical abuse, sexual abuse, and psychological maltreatment. These findings add to the growing body of evidence regarding the long-term consequences of experiencing parental alienation and indicate that in general, exposure to more alienation behaviors leads to more negative outcomes in children of divorce, which can be seen across the life span.
... Ebeveyn yabancılaştırma sürecinde, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveyn hedef ebeveyn ile çocuk arasındaki ilişkinin zarar görebilmesi, sonlanabilmesi için birçok davranış içerisine girebilmektedir. Baker ve Fine (2008) yapmış oldukları çalışmada yabancılaştırıcı ebeveynlerin bu davranışlarını on yedi farklı davranış şeklinde sergilediklerini belirtmişlerdir. Bu davranışlar; iletişimi engelleme ve/ya sınırlandırma, çocuğa ebeveynler arasında seçim yapmaya zorlama, hedef ebeveyn hakkında kötü sözler sarf etme, sevginin silah gibi kullanılması için geri çekilmesi, sembolik ilişkilerin (doğum günü, babalar günü, vb.) kurulmasını engelleme, çocukta hedef ebeveyne karşı kuşku uyandırma, çocuğun hedef ebeveyni reddetmesi için baskı kurulması, hedef ebeveynin çocuğa karşı sevgisinin olmadığını inandırma çabası, çocukta şüphe yaratma, hedef ebeveynin tehlikeli biri olduğu izlenimi yaratma, çocuğun kimlik bilgilerini değiştirme, çocuğun akademik, tıbbi ve diğer önemli bilgilerine hedef ebeveynin erişimini engelleme, çocuğun hedef ebeveyn hakkında bilgilerini aktarması için ajanlık teklif etme, çocuğun hedef ebeveyne baba/anne sıfatları yerine adı ile seslenmesi için baskı yapma, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveynin olası yeni eşini (partnerini) anne/baba olarak tanıtma, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveyne çocuğun bağımlı hale getirme ve çocuğun sırları saklamasını isteme şeklindedir. ...
... Ebeveyn yabancılaştırma sürecinde, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveyn hedef ebeveyn ile çocuk arasındaki ilişkinin zarar görebilmesi, sonlanabilmesi için birçok davranış içerisine girebilmektedir. Baker ve Fine (2008) yapmış oldukları çalışmada yabancılaştırıcı ebeveynlerin bu davranışlarını on yedi farklı davranış şeklinde sergilediklerini belirtmişlerdir. Bu davranışlar; iletişimi engelleme ve/ya sınırlandırma, çocuğa ebeveynler arasında seçim yapmaya zorlama, hedef ebeveyn hakkında kötü sözler sarf etme, sevginin silah gibi kullanılması için geri çekilmesi, sembolik ilişkilerin (doğum günü, babalar günü, vb.) kurulmasını engelleme, çocukta hedef ebeveyne karşı kuşku uyandırma, çocuğun hedef ebeveyni reddetmesi için baskı kurulması, hedef ebeveynin çocuğa karşı sevgisinin olmadığını inandırma çabası, çocukta şüphe yaratma, hedef ebeveynin tehlikeli biri olduğu izlenimi yaratma, çocuğun kimlik bilgilerini değiştirme, çocuğun akademik, tıbbi ve diğer önemli bilgilerine hedef ebeveynin erişimini engelleme, çocuğun hedef ebeveyn hakkında bilgilerini aktarması için ajanlık teklif etme, çocuğun hedef ebeveyne baba/anne sıfatları yerine adı ile seslenmesi için baskı yapma, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveynin olası yeni eşini (partnerini) anne/baba olarak tanıtma, yabancılaştırıcı ebeveyne çocuğun bağımlı hale getirme ve çocuğun sırları saklamasını isteme şeklindedir. ...
Bu çalışmanın amacı Baker ve Chambers (2011) tarafından geliştirilen Baker Strateji Soru Formu’nun (BSSF), Türkçe’ye uyarlanmasıdır. Bu doğrultuda soru formunun geçerlik ve güvenirlik analizleri için form ve çevrimiçi araçlarla bir devlet üniversitesinde eğitim almakta olan 1197 öğrenci çalışmaya gönüllülük esası ile katılım sağlamıştır. Örneklem grubu üzerinde yapılan çalışma sonucunda, 1010 öğrenci araştırma kriterine uymadığı için çalışmadan çıkartılmış ve 187 öğrenci ile çalışma gerçekleştirilmiştir. Özgün çalışmada BSSF tek bir form üzerinde uygulanmakta iken, Türk kültürüne uyarlama çalışmasında uzman görüşleri doğrultusunda anlaşılırlığın sağlanması için BSSF Anne Formu ve Baba Formu olarak iki farklı form halinde uygulanması kararı verilmiştir. Verilerin analizinde SPSS ve AMOS analiz programları kullanılmıştır. BSSF Anne ve Baba soru formları için yapılan iç tutarlılık katsayı (Cronbach’s Alpha) hesaplamasında ise Anne ve Baba Soru formu için .93 değeri elde edilerek güvenirlik ispatı gerçekleştirilmiştir.
... Yabancılaştırıcı ebeveynin, hedefteki ebeveyne karşı 17 temel strateji kullanarak çocuğu yabancılaştırdığı tespit edilmiştir: Bu stratejiler Tablo 1'de yer almaktadır. 38 ...
... 1. Is there evidence of a positive relationship between the child and the now rejected parent prior to the divorce? 2. Is there lack of a substantiated finding of abuse or other credible information about the abuse or neglectful behaviors of the now rejected parent? 3. Is there evidence that the favored parent employed many of the 17 primary parental alienation strategies as identified in Baker and Fine (2008)? 4. Does the child exhibit behavioral characteristics or report ideas and feelings characteristic of alienation (e.g., a score of 7 or above on the BAQ)? ...
The subjects of this study were 40 consecutive children in a child therapy and evaluation agency, half of whom were seen for reunification therapy and half for other reasons related to parent–child difficulties in the context of high-conflict divorce. Children completed a 28-item paper-and-pencil questionnaire regarding their thoughts and feelings about their parents to assess the degree to which their statements reflected unjustified alienation from one parent and alignment with the other. Responses to the questionnaires were coded by the first author as reflective of alienation or not. Case files were independently reviewed by agency staff for presence of indicated abuse, and clinicians independently rated the children's resistance to treatment services. Findings revealed that presence of alienation was found in all but one reunification therapy case and in only four of the nonreunification cases. In addition, the children who were coded as exhibiting alienation were rated by their clinicians as significantly more resistant to treatment. Only one alienated child had an indicated abuse or neglect finding in the file, as opposed to five in the not-alienated group. These data highlight the unique configuration of behaviors and attitudes of alienated children and contribute to the knowledge base about how to evaluate and identify them.
... On the other hand, if the parent is engaged in these efforts in an active and or obsessed manner (to use the terminology proposed by Darnall in 1998), then more forceful and directed efforts to have them stop may be warranted. In either case, documentation of exactly how the parent is interfering would probably be useful, along the lines suggested by Baker and Fine (2008). Working with the child to develop skills to resist the pressure to be turned against one parent by the other parent is also an appropriate avenue to explore for parents involved in parental conflicts that involve the children in this manner, an approach strongly endorsed by Fidler and Bala (2010). ...
In this retrospective study, we examined several long-term psychological correlates of experiencing parental alienation (PA) as a child, defined as reporting that one parent tried to undermine the child's relationship with the other parent. Differences between those who did and did not endorse having this experience were measured on self-sufficiency and four aspects of well-being: alcohol abuse, depression, attachment, and self-esteem. Results indicated significant associations between perceived exposure to parental alienation as a child and lower self-sufficiency, higher rates of major depressive disorder, lower self-esteem, and insecure attachment styles as adults. This research suggests that there are significant long-term psychological associations in the lives of adults who experienced parental alienation as children, which created observable vulnerabilities that differ from normative divorce situations.
In this study, the objective was to conduct an analysis of behaviors associated with Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) within the context of divorce, custody disputes, and personal relationship with children. The present inquiry employed the document/text analysis method, one of the qualitative research methodologies. The reports prepared by psychologists, social workers, and pedagogues (psychological counsellors), including the researcher, in the cases held by Ankara 10th Family Court were included in the study. 27 selected files were descriptively analyzed with respect to PAS behaviors and alienation strategies. Answers were sought to the questions about PAS behaviors toward mother, father and relatives, and what PAS behaviors are in court processes and relations with the child. Results showed that parental alienation behaviors toward parents and relatives are common in divorce, custody, and personal relationship with the child cases. It was found that divorce, custody, and personal relationship with the child cases negatively affect the relationship between the mother, the father, and the child. The research findings, PAS behaviors put all the parties in a difficult situation in the legal process. Therefore, providing psychosocial services to the families, raising the awareness of court experts about PAS, and conducting more research on this issue are important.
In this assessment of Noah Baumbach’s films, The Squid and the Whale and Marriage Story, the use of parental alienating behaviors is examined. Examples are organized according to Darnall’s (Darnall, D. (1998). Divorce casualties: Protecting your children from parental alienation. Taylor Trade Publishing.) types of alienators – naive, active, or obsessed – and across Baker and Fine’s (Baker, A. J. L., & Fine, P. R. (2014). Co-parenting with a toxic ex: What to do when your ex-spouse tries to turn the kids against you. New Harbinger Publications.) categories: (a) poisonous messages, (b) interfering with contact and communication, (c) erasing or replacing the targeted parent, (d) enlisting the child to betray the targeted parent, and (e) undermining the targeted parent’s authority and fostering dependence in the child. Implications of this review are two-fold - examples across categories and types of alienating behaviors can be utilized in mental health training programs to help identify and understand the dynamics of parental alienation. Early detection of alienating behaviors is imperative to safeguard children and foster the overall relational health of divorcing families. Secondly, mental health providers may find these films useful as cinematherapy to facilitate growth and healing in families affected by parental alienation.
Boşanma, kısaca, eşler arasında evliliğin hukuki açıdan sona erdirilmesi olarak tanımlanabilir. Çatışmalı ayrılık veya boşanma
davalarında, ebeveynlerden birinin öfke/kızgınlık hissiyle birlikte sözleri, davranışları ve tutumlarıyla diğer ebeveyni kötülemesi,
çocuklarının bu ebeveyniyle olan kişisel görüşme haklarını engellemesi sonucunda çocuklar, hedefteki ebeveyne karşı
yabancılaşma geliştirebilmektedir. Alanyazında ebeveyn yabancılaşması (ebeveyne yabancılaşma sendromu), özellikle yüksek
çatışmalı boşanma davalarında çocukların ebeveynlerinden biriyle (yabancılaştıran ebeveyn) güçlü bir şekilde ittifak kurması ve
herhangi bir meşru gerekçe olmaksızın diğer ebeveyniyle (hedefteki veya yabancılaşılan ebeveyn) ilişki kurmayı reddetmesiyle
sonuçlanan dinamik bir süreç olarak kavramsallaştırılmakta ve çocuklar açısından bu sürecin duygusal istismarın bir türü olduğu
belirtilmektedir. Bu derlemede ebeveyn yabancılaşması sürecinde etkili olabileceği düşünülen faktörlerin dinamik etkileşimlerinin
ekolojik sistem kuramı perspektifiyle gözden geçirilmesi amaçlanmıştır. Bu kapsamda çalışmada, ebeveyn yabancılaşması
kavramının genel özellikleri üzerinde durulmuş ve her bir sistem düzeyinde (mikrosistem, mezosistem, ekzosistem, makrosistem,
kronosistem) ebeveyne yabancılaşma sürecini etkileyebilecek risk faktörleri ile yabancılaşmanın çocuk üzerindeki genel etkileri
gözden geçirilmiştir.
Child alienation is manifested by significant resistance to parental contact that is disproportional to actual past experience. Individual interviews and questionnaires with all parties and structured family interactions are needed to assess presence and severity. In cases of moderate alienation, a family treatment model featuring psychoeducation, inclusive family goal setting, progressive desensitization, exposure, and development of a new family narrative is recommended
Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties that bind
- J L Amy
- Ph Baker
- Paul R Fine
- A J L Baker
Amy J.L. Baker, Ph.D and Paul R. Fine, LCSW
REFERENCES
Baker, A.J.L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties
that bind. New York: W.W Norton.
Divorce casualties: Protecting your children from parental alienation
- D Darnall
Darnall, D. (1998). Divorce casualties: Protecting your children from parental
alienation. Dallas: Taylor Publishing.
The parental alienation syndrome: A guide for mental health and legal professionals
- R A Gardner
Gardner, R.A., (1998). The parental alienation syndrome: A guide for mental health and
legal professionals. Cresskill, NJ: Creative Therapeutics.
Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties that bind
- A J L Baker
Baker, A.J.L. (2007). Adult children of parental alienation syndrome: Breaking the ties
that bind. New York: W.W Norton.
The boys and girls book about divorce
- R A Gardner
Gardner, R.A. (1984). The boys and girls book about divorce. Northvale, NJ: Jason
Aronson.