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Social benefits of humility: Initiating and maintaining romantic relationships
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Previous research has highlighted the social nature of humility. In three studies, we provide evidence that humility facilitates the initiation and maintenance of romantic relationships. In Study 1, very humble potential dating partners, relative to less humble partners, were rated more favorably and were more likely to elicit intentions to initiate a romantic relationship. Study 2 was a conceptual replication of Study 1 that provided evidence that participants find humble potential dating partners more attractive than arrogant dating partners. In Study 3, we examined perceptions of humility in participants in proximal or long-distance relationships. We found that humility buffers against unforgiveness in long-distant relationships. Although long-distance relationships were associated with greater unforgiveness, this effect was only present when partners were viewed as having low humility. Together, these findings highlight the social benefits of humility in initiating and maintaining romantic relationships.
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... One line of work posits humility as a character strength that is associate with positive outcomes. For example, humility has been found to be positively related to better physical and mental health (Krause 2010;Jankowski and Sandage 2014;Rowatt et al. 2006), academic performance (Owens 2009), job performance (Johnson et al. 2011;Lee, Berry, and Gonzalez-Mule 2019), more effective organizational leadership Keleman et al. 2022;Howard and Van Zandt 2020), and initiating and maintaining social relationships (Davis, Worthington, Hook, and Hill 2013; Van Tongeren, Davis, and Hook 2014). ...
... Humility lies at the heart of religion, as Christian scholars St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas have advocated, and has also been linked to several favorable outcomes, including health (Krause 2010;Jankowski and Sandage 2014), better social relationships (Davis et al. 2013;Van Tongeren et al. 2014) and more effective job performance and organizational leadership (Johnson et al. 2011;Lee et al. 2019;Howard and Van Zandt 2020). Given both theological and social scientific interest in humility, we sought to expand on a growing base of empirical evidence linking religion/spirituality and humility (see Davis et al. 2014Davis et al. , 2017Jankowski et al. 2021Jankowski et al. , 2022Rowatt et al. 2014;Van Tongeren et al. 2016). ...
Background
In contrast to the vibrant interdisciplinary literature on other virtues, such as forgiveness and gratitude, the study of humility has developed more slowly. Over the 2 decades, there has been a proliferation of research on humility. In this study, we assess the interrelationship between a core feature of religious life, God-mediated control, and humility.PurposeWe assess the interrelationship between God-mediated control (the belief that God is a collaborative partner working together with humans) and humility. We also assess how the relationship between God-mediated control and humility may be conditional on two sociodemographic characteristics among middle-aged and older adults, education and race.Methods
Data for this study come from Wave 5 of the Religion, Aging, and Health Study (2013), a nationwide survey of Whites and African Americans (N = 1152). We test our hypotheses with a series of OLS regression models.ResultsWe find that stronger perceptions of God-mediated control were associated with greater humility among older adults. Results from our moderation analyses also show that the relationship between God-mediated control and greater humility was stronger for low status groups, namely, the less educated and Black older adults.Conclusion and ImplicationsThe cognitive belief that God can be trusted as an intimate collaborator in the chaos of human life appears to predict humility among older adults, perhaps by acknowledging one’s dependence on a superior being and appreciating the limits of human finitude and acknowledging God’s greatness outside one’s self. Devoid of secular resources, the less educated and Black Americans might find greater meaning and significance in their association with God and may feel no need to establish their own worth through the attainment of worldly accomplishments or knowledge. Given the centrality of humility to religious/spiritual life, we suggest how future interdisciplinary research can build on the findings of our study.
... Moreover, in the relational context, it seems that both the individual's humility is important as well as the partner's perceived humility. Previous research suggested that individuals are more likely to forgive if they consider their partner to be humble (Goddart et al., 2016;Van Tongeren et al., 2014). Humility is also positively related to happiness and satisfaction in relationships (Peters et al., 2011). ...
... Therefore, it seems it is easier for us to compassionately respond to our partner's flaws and mistakes if they are more humble. This is similar to the previous finding that partner's perceived humility is linked to higher forgiveness (Goddart et al., 2016;Van Tongeren et al., 2014). Another explanation for this finding may be that our participants found it easier to assess their partner's humility than their own, and that may have influenced the results. ...
The study examines whether empathy and humility (both as individual characteristics and partner's perceived characteristics) are predictors of forgiveness towards one's partner and relationship satisfaction in young adults. The sample consisted of 226 young adults (M = 23.3; SD = 2.38). Participants completed the following battery: Empathic Concern and Perspective Taking Scale from the IRI, subscales Global Humility and Superiority from the RHS, the TRIM-18, Required Conditions for Forgiveness, and the RAS. The open-ended question concerned the conditions under which participants forgive their partner. Hierarchical regression analysis showed that conditions for forgiveness explained 7.6% of the variance in forgiveness toward one's partner, while empathy and humility explained an additional 13.8% of that variance. The individual's perspective-taking and their partner's perceived empathy positively predicted forgiveness towards one's partner, and perceived partner's superiority predicted negatively. The multiple regression analysis showed that empathy, humility, and forgiveness towards one's partner explain 43.4% of the variance in relationship satisfaction, (F(9, 216) = 20.13, p < .001). The strongest negative predictor of relationship satisfaction was partner's superiority and the strongest positive predictor was forgiveness towards one's partner. Forgiveness towards one's partner and partner's perceived empathy and humility seem to play an important role in relationship satisfaction.
... The high investment into the offspring by mothers and by fathers is rare among mammals and is considered to favor long-term mating (Geary, 2000;Kenrick et al., 1990;Symons, 1980). One trait favored in partners to initiate and maintain long-term, romantic relationships is humility, which was also favored against arrogance in dating partners and beneficial in long-distance relationships (Van Tongeren et al., 2014). Individuals with a loving and beneficent orientation toward othersconsisting of the facets Kantianism (treating others as ends unto themselves, not as mere means to an end), Humanism (valuing everyone's dignity and worth), and Faith in Humanity (believing humans are fundamentally good)were associated with low levels of sociosexuality and its facets (Kaufman et al., 2019). ...
... It appeared, however, that a more favourable situation occurred when the subjects showed flexibility in the pursuit of goals, which, moreover, were not very specific. According to Van Tongeren et al. (2014), in long-term relationships, awareness of one's own limitations and respect for the opinions of others are protective factors against unforgiveness. Humility makes it possible to reduce both the impact of negative life events on life satisfaction and the severity of negative emotions (Krause et al., 2016). ...
Marital infidelity, of whatever kind, causes serious conflicts in the relationship between spouses. Forgiveness is recognised as an important element in improving the relationship between spouses. It aids the conflict resolution process and increases commitment to the relationship. The aim of this study was to determine the determinants of forgiveness of infidelity in married people. A total of 373 people (339 women, 34 men), aged between 22 and 64 years, were studied. The study was conducted electronically using: Marital Forgiveness Scale (MOFS, Paleari, Regalia, Fincham, 2009; Polish adaptation Brudek, Steuden, 2015), Positivity Orientation Scale (Positivity Scale, Caprara et al., 2012; Polish adaptation Laguna, Oleś, Filipiuk, 2011), TIPI-PL (Ten Item Personality Inventory, Polish adaptation Sorokowska, Słotwińska, Zbieg, Sorokowski, 2014) and a personal questionnaire. The correlational analyses conducted showed a positive relationship between relationship commitment, relationship fulfilment, positive orientation and emotional stability and forgiveness in the subjects. The higher the level of forgiveness, the higher the positive orientation. The relationship between personality traits and forgiveness in people experiencing betrayal was partially confirmed. A positive relationship was shown at a weak level between benevolence and agreeableness and a negative one with conscientiousness. Fulfilment and commitment were shown to be significant predictors of forgiveness. The relationship between commitment and forgiveness is moderated by the trait conscientiousness. The adopted pattern of variables explains respectively 17% of the variation in the results of the forgiveness variable.
... To put it simply, an individual's focus on themselves is changed to a focus on others. It is precisely this shift of focus that can bring great interpersonal benefits to individuals [50,51]. After further research on humility, the scholars found that humility is a variable trait with certain plasticity, "which can be developed and determined subjectively by individuals based on their life experience" [10]. ...
This study examines how paternalistic leadership in new ventures influences employee innovation behavior and new venture performance. Three dimensions of paternalistic leadership in leader humility have a positive moderating effect on employee innovation behavior. To this end, we proposed and tested the supporting roles of the social cognition theory, social exchange theory, social learning theory, and interpersonal attraction theory. A total of 248 valid questionnaires were collected through a professional survey company for analysis, which revealed that among the three dimensions of paternalistic leadership, benevolent leadership and moral leadership both have a positive impact on employee innovation behavior and new venture performance, while authoritarian leadership has a negative impact. We also discovered that leader humility plays a significantly positive role in moderating the influence of authoritarian leadership, benevolent leadership, and moral leadership on employee innovation behavior. The results demonstrate that paternalistic leaders increase their effectiveness by maintaining humility as a management strategy, creating a superior, innovative atmosphere, and contributing to the progress of employee innovation behavior.
... Modesty refers to the ability to acknowledge personal characteristics, abilities, and limitations but also being humble (Tangney, 2000). Modesty has been found to positively predict the quality and satisfaction in social relationships (Peters et al., 2011;Tov et al., 2016) and especially in romantic relationships, where it also predicts forgiveness and revenge levels (Farrell et al., 2015;Van Tongeren et al., 2014). These findings are based on the finding that modest and humble individuals cope better with interpersonal tension and conflict (Webster et al., 2018). ...
Since the birth of positive psychology, character strengths-based interventions aiming at promoting wellbeing have become very popular. However, there are only a few previous studies focusing on the associations of character strengths with social wellbeing, e.g., positive outcomes in close relationships. The aim of the present study was to investigate the associations between character strengths and positive adult friendship outcomes (i.e., friendship quality, satisfaction, and number of friends). The effects of age and gender were also examined. A total of 3051 adults aged from 18 to 65 years participated in the study. The Values-InAction Inventory of Strengths-120 and the McGill Friendship Questionnaires (measuring friendship quality and satisfaction) were used. The results indicated that all character strengths positively correlated with friendship variables, while specific strengths predicted adult friendship quality (love, kindness, honesty, and curiosity), satisfaction (kindness, honesty, modesty, spirituality, love, and bravery), and number of friends (curiosity and persistence). Age, gender, and gender of the friend dyad (same and opposite-sex friendships) moderated only three of these effects. Practical implications for designing and implementing strengths-based positive friendship interventions in several contexts, such as university, workplace, and counselling are discussed.
Relationship science is a dynamic, flourishing enterprise, with numerous discoveries and new lines of inquiry evident in recent changes in its textbooks and the teaching activities invented by its instructors. To survey changes and challenges in the teaching of courses that introduce students to relationship science—and to pursue “news instructors can use”—we surveyed 135 instructors of relationships courses regarding their teaching tactics and experiences. Guided by their responses and suggestions for further inquiry, we also examined the changes in textbooks on which they rely and reviewed teaching activities created to assist them with their teaching over the last 20 years. At present, some topics are nearly universal components of relationships courses but idiosyncrasy exists, particularly with regard to new topics—such as coverage of technology, intersectionality, or consensual nonmonogamy—that instructors plan to include in revisions of their courses. Suggestions for both new and experienced instructors are provided.
In order to maintain a satisfying committed relationship, individuals have to cope successfully with stressors,
especially those that concern both partners (i.e., dyadic stress). The aim of our study is to investigate
automatic up-regulation of interpersonal trust as an adaptive response to relationship challenges. In three
experiments, we manipulated relationship stress by instructing half of the participants to imagine a
relationship threat (Experiments 1 and 2: a longer period of physical separation, Experiment 3: any possible
stressor that could challenge their relationship). Participants subsequently played an anonymous, one-shot
trust game (Experiments 1 and 2) or rated the trustworthiness of unknown faces (Experiment 3) to assess
automatic up-regulation of interpersonal trust. Results revealed that participants in the relationship stress
condition displayed higher trusting behavior in the trust game, and rated the trustworthiness of unknown
faces as higher compared to participants in the control condition. These findings suggest that interpersonal
trust is situationally and automatically attuned to relationship demands and challenges.
© 2011 Elsevier Inc.
In the past decade, interest has flourished in the empirical study of forgiveness in the wake of intergroup conflicts. In the current paper, we sought to empirically integrate the diverse predictors of intergroup forgiveness building on a tripartite model that incorporates affective, cognitive, and constraining features. Using a random effects approach, we meta-analyzed (N=13,371; k=43) correlates of intergroup forgiveness across diverse conflicts (e.g. 65% intrastate, 35% interstate) and populations (20 different nationalities; 60% female). We tested the effect of nine distinct predictors and investigated study characteristics as moderators of these effects (i.e. sex of victim and conflict type). Collective guilt [r=0.49] and trust [r=0.42] emerged as the strongest facilitators, whereas negative emotions [r=-0.33] and in-group identity [r=-0.32] emerged as the strongest barriers to intergroup forgiveness. We discuss practical applications of these findings.
In four studies, the authors examined the correlates of the disposition toward gratitude. Study 1 revealed that self-ratings and observer ratings of the grateful disposition are associated with positive affect and well-being prosocial behaviors and traits, and religiousness/spirituality. Study 2 replicated these findings in a large nonstudent sample. Study 3 yielded similar results to Studies 1 and 2 and provided evidence that gratitude is negatively associated with envy and materialistic attitudes. Study 4 yielded evidence that these associations persist after controlling for Extraversion/positive affectivity, Neuroticism/negative affectivity, and Agreeableness. The development of the Gratitude Questionnaire, a unidimensional measure with good psychometric properties, is also described.
The uncertainty of relationship transitions should elicit more elaborate cognitive processing about one's relationship. As a result, reports of a type of relationship commitment distinctive from satisfaction—moral commitment—might be obtained from those about to begin long distance relationships. Students assessed prior to the academic year reported 2 types of commitment: moral and enthusiastic. Moral commitment was highly correlated with the meaning of the relationship and investment in the relationship, whereas enthusiastic commitment was highly correlated with satisfaction. Moral (but not enthusiastic) commitment predicted the subsequent survival of the relationship. Moral commitment also predicted appraisals of increased investment in and meaning of the relationship by the end of the term. Finally, moral commitment predicted negative affect and illness symptoms for those whose relationships ended. For people remaining in relationships, a new construct of moral burden emerged at Time 2. Burden was related to relationship dissatisfaction and stress and predicted the initiation of a subsequent breakup.
Forgiveness has received widespread attention among psychologists from social, personality, clinical, developmental and organizational perspectives alike. Despite great progress, the forgiveness literature has witnessed few attempts at empirical integration. Toward this end, we meta-analyze results from 175 studies and 26,006 participants to examine the correlates of interpersonal forgiveness (i.e. forgiveness of a single offender by a single victim). A tripartite forgiveness typology is proposed, encompassing victims’ cognitions, affect, and constraints following offense. Hypotheses are tested with respect to 22 unique constructs that have been measured across different fields within psychology. Key sample and study characteristics including gender, age, time, and methodology are also assessed as main effects and moderators. Results highlight the multifaceted nature of forgiveness, which is related to each factor within the proposed tripartite typology and 20 of the 22 modeled constructs. Sample and study characteristics yielded negligible effects on forgiveness, despite previous theorizing to the contrary. Preliminary evidence suggests that methodology may exhibit some moderating effects. Scenario methodologies strengthened the role of cognitions while recall methodologies strengthened the role of affect.
The present phenomenological, qualitative research study involved in-depth interviews of all 16 female, sophomore students involved in respective distance relationships at a private, selective, comprehensive, Midwest university. Among other results found in the study, the present article focuses on communication dynamics involved with the relationships. Results showed key communication constructs to involve learning to communicate in a distance milieu, interpreting the tone of their boyfriends voice, compensating for their lack of contexts, working harder at communication, and committing themselves to the extra efforts involved with good communication. Generally, the women were content with their relationships. We interpret the findings to infer that it likely takes special individuals to make the communication in distance relationships work effectively. Further, we conclude that potential distance relationship couples should discuss the dynamics involved in the present findings prior to initiating distance relationships in order to best enhance the chances for distance relationship success.
Three multimethod studies (total N = 348) probed the hypothesis that women's attraction to men would be influenced by male prosocial orientation. In Study 1, prosocial men were rated as more physically and sexually attractive, socially desirable, and desirable as dates than were nonprosocial men. Dominant men were no more attractive than low-dominance men, and male dominance did not interact with male prosocial orientation in eliciting attraction from women. In Study 2, prosocial orientation was manipulated to avoid ''personalism,'' but still affected attraction. Across all measures attraction was an interactive function of dominance and prosocial tendencies. Dominance alone did not increase any form of attraction measured. In Study 3, male prosocial tendencies and dominance interacted to affect women's attraction to men. Results are discussed in terms of the place of altruism and dominance in evolutionary approaches to human interpersonal attraction.
This article examines the antecedents and outcomes of forgiveness. The interpersonal forgiveness literature is qualitatively reviewed. Antecedents to forgiveness are classified by their proximity to forgiveness based on M. E. McCullough and colleagues, (1998) framework. From most distal to most proximal these antecedents are personality, relationship factors, offense‐specific factors, and social‐cognitive factors including empathy. The association of these antecedents and several consequences of forgiveness are quantitatively examined in meta‐analyses. All investigated variables were significantly related to forgiveness. Empathy was a stronger correlate of forgiveness than any other non‐social‐cognitive antecedent except for trait agreeableness. Methodological factors and the average age of subjects moderated the relationship between forgiveness and some of its correlates. Implications and future directions are considered.
The literature on behavior during dissatisfying incidents consistently demonstrates that one key to effective interaction involves the willingness to accommodate, or the tendency-when an interaction partner engages in a potentially destructive act-to inhibit impulses to respond in kind, instead reacting in a constructive manner. It has been argued that the cognitive underpinnings of accommodation involve transformation of motivation, or the tendency to pause and "take account of broader considerations" such as the long-term consequences of one′s actions for a relationship. Two experiments provided evidence relevant to this key assumption. In Experiment 1 subjects described two incidents when their romantic partners behaved badly, reporting on both the responses they considered enacting and the responses they actually enacted. Consistent with predictions, the responses subjects considered enacting were significantly more destructive than the responses they actually enacted. Experiment 2 examined cognitive processes using a manipulation of reaction time-subjects were given either limited or plentiful time to indicate how they would react to interpersonal scenarios in which interaction partners enacted either constructive or destructive behaviors. As predicted, subjects were more likely to respond destructively to another′s destructive act when given limited reaction time than when given plentiful reaction time.