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The specific importance of communicating about sex to couples’ sexual and overall relationship satisfaction
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
Abstract and Figures
This study examined the impact of general and sexual communication on couples’ overall and sexual satisfaction. Data were collected from 116 heterosexual, monogamous couples in relationships of at least three months’ duration. Open sexual communication accounted for unique variance in both sexual and overall relationship satisfaction; general communication effectiveness did so only for overall satisfaction. The relationship between open sexual communication and overall satisfaction was stronger for males, and the relationship between open sexual communication and sexual satisfaction was stronger for couples who had been together longer. The three-way interaction of open sexual communication, relationship length, and gender significantly predicted overall relationship satisfaction but not sexual satisfaction. Sexual satisfaction mediated the relationship between open sexual communication and overall satisfaction.
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... Communication about sensitive and vulnerable topics, such as money or sex, may be particularly influential in building trust across time. Learning how to communicate about sex can be a difficult process as partners bring up their desires, needs, or fears in their sexual relationship (Montesi et al., 2011). These conversations involve risk as partners reveal private, intimate information that is often perceived as threatening to oneself (Rehman et al., 2019). ...
... These conversations involve risk as partners reveal private, intimate information that is often perceived as threatening to oneself (Rehman et al., 2019). However, if handled well, these conversations provide an opportunity for partners to learn how to work through differences (Theiss & Solomon, 2007) and ultimately could benefit couples' relationships (Mallory, 2022;Montesi et al., 2011). Additionally, as couples undergo changes in their sexual needs and desires, communicating about these preferences in a validating, respectful way could help partners feel better about their relationship as a whole (Roels et al., 2022). ...
... As outlined in the Money and Sex Model (Leavitt & LeBaron-Black, 2025), quality communication about sex could build trust as partners facilitate openness and honesty about a vulnerable topic. Although no known studies have examined the associations between communication about sex and trust, sex communication has been linked with relationship and sexual satisfaction (Mallory, 2022;Montesi et al., 2011;Roels et al., 2022), which suggests that quality sexual communication could lead to greater trust as well. Constructive communication about sex is an essential part of learning to be responsive to a partner's sexual needs (Vowels et al., 2022), which could ultimately help to facilitate a greater sense of trust as partners create a stronger emotional connection and understanding of each other (Gottman, 2011). ...
Trust and communication are both vital elements of successful couple relationships. Despite scholars positing that a sense of trust and quality communication could influence each other over time, few studies have sought to test these assumptions. The current study used a nationally representative sample of 2,168 couples to examine the bidirectional associations between trust and different communication topics across several years during the newlywed period. Specifically, three separate actor-partner interdependence (APIM) cross-lagged panel models were conducted to test the bidirectional effects between trust and general relationship communication, sexual communication, and financial communication. The results revealed bidirectional effects between trust and general relationship communication and financial communication across seven years. Different patterns emerged between trust and sexual communication, as it appeared that trust primarily predicted greater quality sexual communication across the first several years of marriage. This pattern then changed around Wave 5, where sexual communication started to predict trust more consistently. These findings emphasize the importance of both effective communication and a sense of trust across the first several years of marriage and especially underscore the salient nature of trust for quality sexual communication to take place.
... Separate models for all these analyses were also run with relationship length, gender identity, and sexual orientation added as control variables to identify the unique associations between the hypothesized variables. Relationship length was controlled for given the possible moderating role of relationship length previously detected between sexual communication and sexual satisfaction (Montesi et al., 2011). Gender identity and sexual orientation were also controlled for given the disproportionate representation of LGBTQ+ identities in CNM communities and the desire to determine the unique associations for relationship structure. ...
Despite the growing body of literature examining sexual communication in romantic relationships, diverse relationship structures have been severely underrepresented. This study examined differences in sexual communication and multiple sexual and relational outcome variables between people in monogamous and consensually nonmonogamous relationships. Participants included 576 young adults (ages 18–35 years old) in monogamous or consensually nonmonogamous relationships with at least one committed partner. Participants were asked to complete sexual communication as well as various commonly used sexual/relational outcome measures regarding a partner. Results of t tests and linear regression analyses suggested people in consensually nonmonogamous relationships had greater sexual communication quality compared with people in monogamous relationships. There were no additional differences detected in any of the other study variables. Significant associations between sexual communication and sexual and relational outcome variables were replicated and no differences in these associations based on relationship structure emerged. Implications and directions for future research are addressed.
... As humans, we are not the same, and we cannot assume that "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". Montesi, Fauber, Gordon & Heimberg (2010) Aside from communication, trying to understand and study their partners was a factor that aids sexual satisfaction. Couples should be acquainted with each other's body and be conscious in taking note of acts that their spouse enjoy. ...
Sexual satisfaction is a core component of marital satisfaction, and lack of it has resulted in marriage collapse. Understanding of this critical aspect of marital life can provide insights that can help couples have more fulfilling marital relationships, resilient unions and thus avoiding divorce. Therefore, this study explored the role of sexual intimacy in marriage, focusing on the factors that contributes to sexual satisfaction and dissatisfaction among married couples. The study employed interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction as its theoretical underpinning. To achieve the purpose of the study, 12 married women and 5 marriage counsellors (a total of 17 respondents) were selected for in-depth interview conducted in Alimosho and Ikeja Local Government Areas of Lagos state, Nigeria. Sample were selected using a combination of purposive and snowball sampling method. Sex was reported to be important as it strengthened bond and helped to bridge gap between couples. Newlyweds were reported to be the most common of married couples who had sexual problems in marriage. Most respondents claimed to be sexually satisfied but they all shared sexually dissatisfied experiences. Lack of foreplay, timing of sex, religious restrictions, sexual incompatibility and differences in sexual appeal and lack of communication were identified to be causes of sexual dissatisfaction. Communication, understanding and studying one's partner and being open to sexual exploration, were factors identified to influence sexual satisfaction. The study recommends that couples should choose partners that shares his/her sexual fantasy to avoid frustration and sexual dissatisfaction overtime.
... As humans, we are not the same, and we cannot assume that "what is good for the goose is good for the gander". Montesi, Fauber, Gordon & Heimberg (2010) Aside from communication, trying to understand and study their partners was a factor that aids sexual satisfaction. Couples should be acquainted with each other's body and be conscious in taking note of acts that their spouse enjoy. ...
Sexual satisfaction is a core component of marital satisfaction, and lack of it has resulted in marriage collapse. Understanding of this critical aspect of marital life can provide insights that can help couples have more fulfilling marital relationships, resilient unions and thus avoiding divorce. Therefore, this study explored the role of sexual intimacy in marriage, focusing on the factors that contributes to sexual satisfaction and dissatisfaction among married couples. The study employed interpersonal Exchange Model of Sexual Satisfaction as its theoretical underpinning. To achieve the purpose of the study, 12 married women and 5 marriage counsellors (a total of 17 respondents) were selected for in-depth interview conducted in Alimosho and Ikeja Local Government Areas of Lagos state, Nigeria. Sample were selected using a combination of purposive and snowball sampling method. Sex was reported to be important as it strengthened bond and helped to bridge gap between couples. Newlyweds were reported to be the most common of married couples who had sexual problems in marriage. Most respondents claimed to be sexually satisfied but they all shared sexually dissatisfied experiences. Lack of foreplay, timing of sex, religious restrictions, sexual incompatibility and differences in sexual appeal and lack of communication were identified to be causes of sexual dissatisfaction. Communication, understanding and studying one's partner and being open to sexual exploration, were factors identified to influence sexual satisfaction. The study recommends that couples should choose partners that shares his/her sexual fantasy to avoid frustration and sexual dissatisfaction overtime.
... Attachment anxiety played a significant role in explaining the association between one person's experience of childhood trauma and their report of more negative emotions post-discussion. Although partners might be aware of the importance of communicating about sexual disagreements for their relationship satisfaction (Sprecher et al., 2006), a certain degree of willingness and tolerance are required to self-disclose private information and take the risk to feel threatened and potentially embarrassed when doing so (Montesi et al., 2011). Therefore, knowing that difficulties in emotion regulation are frequent in the aftermath of childhood trauma (Bigras et al., 2017a), negative emotions might have predominated for people reporting greater childhood trauma and attachment anxiety, especially because childhood trauma heightens the salience of negative emotional stimuli (McLaughlin et al., 2015). ...
Childhood trauma alters both emotional and relational processes, and thus could make it more difficult for couples to navigate relationship challenges such as sexual disagreements. Given the potential threat they involve, sexual conflicts may elicit more negative emotions for both partners. They can also trigger attachment insecurities—relational vulnerabilities that are particularly heightened during periods of stress, especially following childhood trauma. Hence, attachment anxiety and avoidance might be mechanisms through which childhood trauma influences couples’ emotion dynamics during sexual conflicts. However, we know very little concerning how emotions unfold moment to moment in the context of couples’ sexual disagreements, and the roles of childhood trauma and attachment insecurities therein. Same- and mixed-gender/sex couples (N = 151) completed online surveys and took part in a laboratory-based filmed discussion about their most important sexual problem. Following the discussion, participants completed self-reported measures of their positive and negative emotions. Then, partners independently viewed their filmed discussion to continuously report on their emotional experience during the conflict and, lastly, trained raters coded the valence of participants’ expression of emotions during the task. Actor–partner interdependence models showed that a person’s greater childhood trauma was associated with fewer positive emotions post-discussion and shorter experienced and expressed positive emotions during the conflict, as well as more negative emotions post-discussion and longer experienced and expressed negative emotions, both directly and indirectly via attachment anxiety (but not attachment avoidance). Results underscore the need to better understand sexuality-related positive and negative emotions in couple interactions, and the role of distal factors such as childhood trauma and attachment.
... Specifically, open selfdisclosure of sexual information between partners fosters intimacy and relationship satisfaction (Byers, 2005;Cupach & Comstock, 1990;, facilitates novel sexual activities that contribute to ongoing well-being (Kohut et al., 2023;Raposo et al., 2020), and can mitigate or resolve sexual problems (Merwin et al., 2017;Rehman et al., 2011). On the other hand, people should feel particularly hurt if rejected by a close partner because of their sexuality -a facet of the self that feels vulnerable, important, and is difficult or impossible to change (Montesi et al., 2011;Rehman et al., 2017Rehman et al., , 2019. Thus, people commonly avoid self-disclosing their sexual history (e.g., Anderson et al., 2011;Lucchetti, 1999), sexual difficulties (e.g., Kelly et al., 2004Kelly et al., , 2006, and sexual likes and dislikes (MacNeil & Byers, 2009) to partners. ...
People disclose many aspects of their sexuality to close partners, such as their sexual attitudes, history, and behaviors, which is established to be beneficial for their own and their relationship well-being. However, evidence on the extent to which people engage in sexual self-disclosure and the predictors (i.e., facilitators or barriers) of sexual self-disclosure is currently inconsistent and inconclusive. A meta-analysis (k = 30, N = 9,239) on sexual self-disclosure, identified a moderate-to-high level of disclosure of sexual attitudes and values, sexual difficulties, sexual history, sexual preferences, and solo-sexual behaviors. We identified 17 significant correlates of greater sexual self-disclosure, the strongest being greater sexual communication satisfaction, sexual assertiveness, and general self-disclosure. Our findings offer novel support for the theoretical claim that people seek to share important facets of their sexuality while retaining some privacy over their sexual information and suggest that people weigh the benefits against the costs of disclosing facets of their sexuality to their partners.
Background
Communication is critical to sexuality and sexual health. It is therefore reasonable to assume that acquired communication impairments would impact sexuality, but research is sparse. The research that does discuss these impacts can be difficult to find, as studies are spread across a wide variety of literature bases, and sexual topics are often combined with other concerns. Coupled with clinicians’ discomfort in addressing sexual issues, this leads to a lack of clinical support for patients’ sexual concerns.
Aims
This scoping review aimed to map and summarize the existing literature on sexuality and acquired communication impairments.
Methods & Procedures
Six databases were searched: CINAHL, PubMed, MEDLINE, PsycINFO, Web of Science and Scopus. To find studies from the literature on acquired communication impairments and their aetiologies that addressed sexuality and communication, a combination of sexuality and communication impairment terms was used. A total of 97 articles met inclusion criteria.
Main Contribution
Across aetiologies and literature bases, acquired communication impairments have been found to negatively affect sexuality. However, researchers rarely evaluate the nature of the communication impairment or its effects on sexuality directly. People with communication impairments are more often systematically excluded from acquired disability research on sexuality. Using the reviewed literature, we present recommendations for including sexuality‐related topics in communication disorder research and including people with communication impairments in sexuality‐related research. We also present recommendations for speech–language pathologists to begin incorporating sexuality‐related topics in their clinical practice.
Conclusions & Implications
The effects of communication impairments on sexuality are insufficiently researched. The literature that does exist points to substantial impacts. This area of research deserves more concerted attention so that clinicians may have guidance and support in addressing the issue with their clients.
WHAT THIS PAPER ADDS
What is already known on the subject
Though researchers have long posited reasons why acquired communication impairments would logically affect sexuality and intimacy, the literature on the topic has been difficult to find. Such research is spread across disorder areas. Sexuality effects are often hidden amid multiple quality‐of‐life indicators, or communication impairment impacts are described as one of many independent variables.
What this paper adds to the existing knowledge
This scoping review is the first of its kind to provide an overview of the research into communication impairments’ effects on sexuality. It describes the effects that communication impairments can have on sexuality.
What are the potential or actual clinical implications of this work?
This scoping review will help clinicians to find relevant research for their clients’ needs and help researchers conduct more thorough research in this area. It also provides clinical recommendations for helping clients with communication impairments access this important part of life.
Background
The International Index of Erectile Function (IIEF) stands out for its utility and widespread use to measure sexual function in men. However, it lacks consistency in its internal latent structure across studies, has not been evaluated for measurement invariance, and has not undergone psychometric validation for its 15-item form in Spanish among South American countries.
Aim
To examine the IIEF’s psychometric evidence (ie, structural/criterion validity and reliability) in a sample of adult men and determine its measurement invariance across relationship status (single vs in a relationship) and age generations (generations Z, Y/millennials, and X).
Methods
A sample of 650 sexually active males was derived from a broader Chilean study (Chilean Sex and Sexuality Study). We used a confirmatory factor analysis to determine the IIEF’s structural validity, sexual satisfaction dimensions to establish its criterion-related validity, and Cronbach alpha and McDonald omega to assess the reliability of its scores.
Outcomes
Measures of goodness of fit.
Results
The evidence supported the 5-factor latent solution. Meanwhile, criterion-related validity revealed subtle yet significant differences in sexual satisfaction, with younger men displaying higher satisfaction in various sexual domains. In contrast, middle-aged men and those in a relationship showed better sexual function. Finally, the IIEF was invariant across age groups and relationship status at the factor covariance level.
Clinical Translation
This study provides evidence that the IIEF is a valid, reliable, and invariant tool for the clinical practice in men’s sexual health, particularly that associated with their sexual function and dysfunction.
Strengths and Limitations
The study included a comprehensive validity analysis of the IIEF’s psychometric properties, demonstrating its reliability and validity across diverse Chilean male subpopulations. The study also offered the IIEF’s first assessment of measurement invariance and confirmed its suitability for clinical and research use in the Chilean population. Meanwhile, the study’s limitations include a lack of clinical population and a sample predominantly younger, cisgender, and heterosexual.
Conclusion
Our study provides evidence of the IIEF’s 5-factor structure and measurement invariance across age generations and relationship status in Chilean men, supporting its validity for clinical use and research and broadening its applicability in global sexual health studies, particularly in the Spanish-speaking South American male population.
We examined two proposed pathways between sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction. According to the proposed expressive pathway, reciprocal sexual self-disclosure contributes to relationship satisfaction, which in turn leads to greater sexual satisfaction. According to the instrumental pathway, own sexual self-disclosure leads to greater partner understanding of sexual likes and dislikes, which in turn leads to a more favorable balance of sexual rewards and costs and thus to higher sexual satisfaction. Seventy-four heterosexual dating couples completed questionnaires assessing self-disclosure, sexual and relationship satisfaction, as well as own and partner positive and negative sexual exchanges. Support was found for the instrumental pathway for both women and men and for the expressive pathway for women. For men, the expressive pathway was between own nonsexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction. These results are interpreted in light of the more instrumental role for men in sexual relationships.
The present research explored the importance of several communication-related variables, including perspective-taking, self-disclosure, conflict tactics and relational competence, as well as love attitudes, in the prediction of relationship satisfaction. Some 140 dating couples completed several measures, including assessments of self as well as the romantic partner. Findings revealed that self and partner communication variables, and love orientations were significant predictors of relationship satisfaction. Implications for the importance of communication in relationships are discussed.
The Cambridge Handbook of Personal Relationships serves as a benchmark of the current state of scholarship in this dynamic field synthesizing the extant theoretical and empirical literature, tracing its historical roots, and making recommendations for future directions. The volume addresses a broad range of established and emerging topics including: theoretical and methodological issues that influence the study of personal relationships; research and theory on relationship development, the nature and functions of personal relationships across the lifespan; individual differences and their influences on relationships; relationship processes such as cognition, emotion, and communication; relational qualities such as satisfaction and commitment; environmental influences on personal relationships; and maintenance and repair of relationships. The authors are experts from a variety of disciplines including several subfields of psychology, communication, family studies and sociology who have made major contributions to the understanding of relationships.
When is it timely to publish a synthesis of previously published and original materials from a specific discipline? I believe it to be timely when one has a sufficient amount of high-quality material covering the critical areas of that topic, when the previously published material is scattered over a wide range of journals and books, and when there is no single book that synthesizes the discipline. The treatment of sexual dysfunction emerged to the front lines of health delivery only during the past decade with the pioneering work of William Masters and Virginia Johnson. In spite of the rash of sex clinics and sex therapists that followed, preciously little solid research has been conducted on the various strategies of therapy, the means of assessing complex interpersonal sexual relation ships, and the manner by which clinical change is objectively assessed. No one reader can keep pace with the multitude of jounials that publish key material by sophisticated investigators. And no one investigator can cover these salient areas alone with his or her original work in a single volume. The critical papers have now been written. Ten were written specifically for this volume and thirty-three have previously appeared. This volume laces them together into a coherent pattern. Thus, the time for a synthesis in sexual dysfunction.
The present study has a threefold purpose. First, it addresses the issue of measuring sexual satisfaction (i.e., single- versus multiple-item scales), as well as response bias (i.e., social desirability and sexual defensiveness) in ratings of sexual satisfaction. Second, it examines sexual satisfaction in married and cohabiting males (N = 57) and females (N = 91). Finally, it examines the relationship between sexual satisfaction and nine theoretically and nine theoretically relevant variables drawn from Kaplan's multicausal model of sexual functioning.
This study examined the relationships between sexual problems, sexual self-disclosure and sexual satisfaction in a community sample. Fifty-three women and 34 men in long-term, heterosexual relationships returned completed questionnaires. A majority of the men and women reported that they had experienced one or more sexual concerns or problems in the past 18 months. For both men and women, an increasing number of sexual concerns and problems for self and for partner was associated with decreased sexual satisfaction. Both better communication in general, and disclosure of specific sexual likes and dislikes in particular, were associated with increased sexual satisfaction. However, the quality of communication did not alter the relationship between sexual problems and concerns and sexual satisfaction. Implications for sex therapy and future research are discussed.
