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Adult attachment and romantic partner preference: A review

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Journal of Social and Personal Relationships
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Bjarne M. Holmes
Bjarne M. Holmes
Bjarne M. Holmes
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Kimberly R. Johnson
Kimberly R. Johnson
Kimberly R. Johnson
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Abstract

In this literature review we explore inconsistencies in studies relating self-reported adult attachment to romantic partner preference. Such studies have tested one of three hypotheses: that individuals prefer partners with a similar attachment style, a complementary attachment style, or the attachment style most likely to offer attachment security. Consistent with all hypotheses, secure individuals prefer similarly secure partners. Discrepancies are found, however, regarding insecure individuals’ preferences. Evidence supporting similarity and attachment—security hypotheses is primarily reported in research on attraction to hypothetical partners. Evidence supporting the complementarity hypothesis comes from research on matching between partners in long-term relationships. We suggest that individuals’ working model of other may be more salient during initial attraction, whereas individuals’ working model of self may be more salient during relationship maintenance. We discuss these findings, focusing on individuals’ needs for self-enhancement and self-consistency in relation to partner preference and attachment style.
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Adult attachment and romantic
partner preference: A review
Bjarne M. Holmes & Kimberly R. Johnson
Heriot-Watt University, Edinburgh, UK
ABSTRACT
In this literature review we explore inconsistencies in studies
relating self-reported adult attachment to romantic partner
preference. Such studies have tested one of three hypotheses:
that individuals prefer partners with a
similar
attachment style,
a
complementary
attachment style, or the attachment style
most likely to offer
attachment security
. Consistent with all
hypotheses, secure individuals prefer similarly secure partners.
Discrepancies are found, however, regarding insecure individ-
uals’ preferences. Evidence supporting similarity and attach-
ment–security hypotheses is primarily reported in research
on attraction to hypothetical partners. Evidence supporting
the complementarity hypothesis comes from research on
matching between partners in long-term relationships. We
suggest that individuals’ working model of other may be more
salient during initial attraction, whereas individuals’ working
model of self may be more salient during relationship main-
tenance. We discuss these findings, focusing on individuals’
needs for self-enhancement and self-consistency in relation to
partner preference and attachment style.
KEY WORDS: adult attachment • partner preference • review
“. . . healthy personality functioning at every age reflects, first,an individual’s
ability to recognize suitable figures willing and able to provide him [sic]
with a secure base and, second, his ability to collaborate with such figures
in mutually rewarding relationships” (Bowlby, 1979, p. 104).
Journal of Social and Personal Relationships © The Author(s), 2009. Reprints and permissions:
http://www.sagepub.co.uk/journalsPermissions.nav,Vol. 26(6–7): 833–852.
DOI: 10.1177/0265407509345653
We wish to thank Kelly Faughnan, James Averill, Paula Pietromonco, Paul Mongeau, and the
anonymous reviewers for comments on earlier versions of this paper. All correspondence
regarding this article should be addressed to Dr Bjarne M. Holmes, Psychology, School of Life
Sciences, Heriot-Watt University, Edinburgh EH14 4AS, UK [e-mail: b.m.holmes@hw.ac.uk].
Paul Mongeau was the Action Editor on this article.
... Acknowledging the interdependence of romantic relationships, recent research focuses on dyad-level characteristics and their link to relationship quality (Weidmann et al., 2017). While partner preferences are known to be tied to similarities in characteristics, Holmes and Johnson (2009) suggest these similarities can significantly determine the success or failure of a relationship. The present study, conducted with a community sample from northeast India, examines the role of varying degrees of attachment similarity on marital satisfaction. ...
... This research aims to provide insights into relationship dynamics in diverse populations. By focusing on attachment and addressing conflicting findings in the literature (Holmes & Johnson, 2009;Luo & Klohnen, 2005), we seek to clarify the direct role of attachment similarity on relationship satisfaction. ...
... This is because excessive demanding behaviors from one partner, eliciting increased autonomy needs in the less anxious partner, are avoided. The same principle applies when partners share similar levels of avoidance or preferences for autonomy, preventing conflict over autonomy versus closeness (Holmes & Johnson, 2009). ...
Surface of Marital Harmony: Insights into Attachment Similarity Using Dyadic Response Surface Analysis
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  • Aug 2024
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This study examined the association between attachment styles (avoidance and anxiety) and marital satisfaction in 202 couples from Northeast India. Dyadic Response Surface Analysis (DRSA) tested for nonlinear effects of similarity in attachment on marital satisfaction. The Actor-Partner Interdependence Model (APIM) examined linear actor and partner effects. Results revealed a positive association between moderate avoidance similarity and husbands’ marital satisfaction, with no significant effect for similarity in anxiety. Interestingly, husbands’ anxious attachment positively predicted wives’ marital satisfaction, challenging traditional attachment theory. These findings highlight the importance of considering cultural context and gender differences when examining attachment and marital satisfaction. The clinical implications for married couples are discussed.
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... The present study also revealed that mothers who reported higher initial levels of avoidance tended to be coupled with fathers who were also higher in avoidance. The similarity-attraction hypothesis offers one possible explanation for this finding: People with similar levels of avoidance may be more likely to be attracted to one another and, therefore, more likely to have children together (see Holmes & Johnson, 2009, for a review). Interestingly, research by Klohnen and Luo (2003) found that attachment avoidance was a stronger predictor of attraction to romantic partners than attachment anxiety (i.e., people seem to prioritize their preferences for intimacy and independence when selecting a partner; see also Holmes & Johnson, 2009). ...
... The similarity-attraction hypothesis offers one possible explanation for this finding: People with similar levels of avoidance may be more likely to be attracted to one another and, therefore, more likely to have children together (see Holmes & Johnson, 2009, for a review). Interestingly, research by Klohnen and Luo (2003) found that attachment avoidance was a stronger predictor of attraction to romantic partners than attachment anxiety (i.e., people seem to prioritize their preferences for intimacy and independence when selecting a partner; see also Holmes & Johnson, 2009). Nonetheless, it is also possible that parents who are coupled may have become more similar in their levels of avoidance over the course of their relationship. ...
Coordination of Parent and Adolescent Attachment Across Time
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  • Oct 2024
Adolescence is a period of rapid social changes that may have important implications for the ways adolescents think, feel, and behave in their close relationships. According to family systems theory, adolescents’ attachment-related changes have the potential to spread throughout their family system, leading to coordinated changes in parents’ and adolescents’ attachment styles over time. The present study analyzed data from 205 adolescents (MageT1 = 14.0, SD = 0.9; 44% female, 56% male; 51% White, 33% African American, 3% Hispanic/Latino, 1% Asian American, 12% another race/ethnicity) and their parents (196 mothers, 105 fathers; median household incomeT1 = $100,000) who completed self-report measures of their general attachment styles annually for 5 years. Using a latent growth curve framework, we examined the extent of coordination among adolescents’ and parents’ long-term trajectories and shorter term fluctuations in attachment security. The results revealed a push-and-pull dynamic between mothers’ and adolescents’ long-term trajectories of attachment security. Mothers who reported higher initial levels of attachment anxiety tended to have adolescent children who reported higher initial levels of avoidance. Additionally, adolescents who increased in attachment avoidance over time tended to have mothers who increased in attachment anxiety. Mothers and fathers mirrored each other’s patterns of attachment security as their children navigated their teenage years, reporting similar initial levels of attachment avoidance and synchronized shorter term fluctuations in attachment anxiety and avoidance across time.
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... Finally, high NFC individuals tend to prefer familiar options in an effort to avoid ambiguity and uncertainty, and experience considerable regret after choosing unfamiliar options (Mannetti et al., 2007). In the romantic realm, one's current relationship provides a sense of familiarity and safety (Holmes & Johnson, 2009;Klohnen & Luo, 2003). Therefore, familiarity seeking of high NFC individuals might be translated into wanting to stay in the same relationship for a long while and being averse to initiating a breakup. ...
Sealed with certainty: The role of need for closure in relationship commitment
Article
Full-text available
Decision making is a fundamental aspect of relationships, as romantic partners often evaluate costs and benefits of their relationship and contemplate whether to maintain it. A key factor that has repeatedly been shown to influence decision-making processes is need for closure, that is, the desire to quickly obtain a definitive answer or solution. Individuals who strongly desire closure prefer the status quo, seek familiarity, and dislike uncertainty, which might strengthen their intention to maintain an enduring relationship. Across five studies recruiting university students and community samples, we explored, for the first time, the role of need for closure in relationship commitment. In Study 1, individuals with a higher need for closure reported greater commitment to their romantic relationships. Studies 2a and 2b replicated these findings and showed that relationship satisfaction and investment, but not alternative quality, may explain the link between need for closure and commitment. Study 3 revealed that need for closure was linked with willingness to sacrifice-a downstream consequence of commitment. Using a three-wave longitudinal design, Study 4 found that within-person variation in need for closure was small, and need for closure explained mainly between-(but not within-) person differences in commitment. This study failed to replicate the mediating role of relationship satisfaction and investment observed in Studies 2a and 2b, thereby indicating caution in interpreting mechanisms suggested by our prior studies. Overall, the findings demonstrated a consistent between-person association of need for closure with relationship commitment, and revealed important research avenues to further understand how individual differences in decision making predict commitment.
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... Attachment similarity particularly is suggested to promote an increased understanding of the partner's emotion regulation and attachment needs (Conradi et al., 2021). People assorting based on similar attachment orientations might also be functional for this reason-that sharing attachment-related thoughts, feelings, and behaviors might facilitate relationship functioning and understanding (Holmes & Johnson, 2009). ...
Actor, partner, and similarity effects of attachment anxiety and avoidance on well-being and health in romantic couples
Article
Romantic attachment orientations are important predictors of individuals’ and their partners’ well-being and health. However, less is known about whether similarity in attachment between partners predicts better well-being and health outcomes. In two studies (total N couples = 1,602), we tested with actor-partner interdependence and dyadic polynomial regression models if partners’ attachment and their similarity were linked to their well-being and health (i.e., life satisfaction, depressive symptoms, self-rated health, medical conditions). Results revealed significant actor effects between anxiety and life satisfaction (Study 1, male partners Study 2), depressive symptoms (both studies), self-rated health (both studies), and medical conditions (Study 2 only). For avoidance, significant actor effects were found for life satisfaction (Study 1, female partners Study 2), depressive symptoms (both studies), and self-rated health (both studies). Partner effects emerged for anxiety and life satisfaction (Study 1, male partners Study 2) and depressive symptoms (Study 1 only) and for avoidance and life satisfaction (Study 1, male partners Study 2), depressive symptoms (both studies), and self-rated health (both studies). The results of dyadic polynomial regression and response surface analyses, however, provided no evidence for any similarity effects of romantic attachment on well-being and health in both studies. In sum, the findings suggest that lower anxiety and avoidance in both partners is generally associated with higher well-being and health. However, similarity in partners’ attachment seem unimportant for concurrent well-being and health. Implications of the findings are discussed considering attachment theories and relationship processes.
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... For example, individuals with genetically conditioned tendencies to be avoidant in close relationships might tend to be attracted to romantic partners who are also higher in avoidance (B. M. Holmes & Johnson, 2009;Klohnen & Luo, 2003), who reinforce their own tendencies by being emotionally unavailable. Evocative rGE occurs when people evoke environmental exposures from others who are responding to their genetically influenced characteristics. ...
Genetic and Environmental Contributions to Adult Attachment Styles: Evidence From the Minnesota Twin Registry
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Full-text available
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Attachment theory, as originally outlined by Bowlby (1973, 1980, 1969/1982), suggests that the ways people think, feel, and behave in close relationships are shaped by the dynamic interplay between their genes and their social environment. Research on adult attachment, however, has largely focused on the latter, providing only a partial picture of how attachment styles emerge and develop throughout life. The present research leveraged data from the Minnesota Twin Registry, a large sample of older adult twins (N = 1,377 twins; 678 pairs; Mage = 70.40 years, SD = 5.42), to examine the relative contributions of genetic and environmental factors to adult attachment styles. Participants reported on both their general attachment styles and relationship-specific attachments to their mothers, fathers, partners, and best friends. The results suggest that attachment styles are partly heritable (∼36%) and partly attributable to environmental factors that are not shared between twins (∼64%). Heritability estimates were somewhat higher for parent-specific attachment styles (∼51%), whereas nonshared environmental factors accounted for larger proportions of the variance in partner- and best friend-specific attachment styles. Using multivariate biometric models, we also examined the genetic and environmental factors underlying the covariation among people’s relationship-specific attachment styles. The findings indicate that the similarities among people’s avoidant tendencies in different relationships can be explained by a single, higher order latent factor (e.g., global avoidance). In contrast, the genetic and environmental factors underlying attachment anxiety appear to be more differentiated across specific close relationships.
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... Specifically, individuals with secure and preoccupied attachment styles are trustworthy and reliable; thus, they can build healthy relationships with others. However, dismissive and fearful individuals are highly avoidant, thus manifesting discomfort in relationship building, because they have a negative disposition toward others (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991;Holmes & Johnson, 2009). However, our results do not support the hypothesis that a subordinate's fearful attachment is negatively associated with emotional expressivity and LMX relationship. ...
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... Specifically, individuals with secure and preoccupied attachment styles are trustworthy and reliable; thus, they can build healthy relationships with others. However, dismissive and fearful individuals are highly avoidant, thus manifesting discomfort in relationship building, because they have a negative disposition toward others (Bartholomew & Horowitz, 1991;Holmes & Johnson, 2009). However, our results do not support the hypothesis that a subordinate's fearful attachment is negatively associated with emotional expressivity and LMX relationship. ...
IMPACT OF SUBORDINATE ATTACHMENT STYLE ON LEADER-MEMBER EXCHANGE: THE MEDIATING EFFECT OF EMOTIONAL EXPRESSIVITY
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Although individuals possess different behaviors, they have coherent and stable patterns of emotion and behavior in close relationships, which can significantly impact their relationships. We extend the theoretical understanding of leader-member exchange (LMX) relationships by offering new insights into why leaders develop different types of relationships with their subordinates. Specifically, we propose how subordinates' attachment styles influence LMX relationships through emotional expressivity. This study is based upon positivism research philosophy, and we followed the deductive research approach. Moreover, we used the survey method as the research strategy. Results from surveying 258 employees revealed that secure and preoccupied attachments are positively related and dismissive attachments are negatively related to emotional expressivity. Furthermore, the results of our study indicate a strong positive association between emotional expressivity and the LMX relationship. In addition, except for the fearful attachment, the mediation analysis results showed that emotional expressivity mediates the association between attachment style and LMX. Furthermore, our results show that individuals with secure and preoccupation attachment styles develop strong positive LMX relationships (in-group relationships), and dismissive individuals are poor in relationship building. Contributions to the literature on LMX and attachment theory are discussed.
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In the transition to parenthood, couples will face many changes until the child is two years old. Therefore, it is important for couples to apply common dyadic coping. However, common dyadic coping is influenced by individual attachment styles. This study aimed to determine the role of common dyadic coping during the transition to parenthood as a mediator between attachment style and marital satisfaction. This study uses a type of correlational research because correlational research is used to see the predictive relationship between variables. The measures used in this study are Experiences in Close Relationships - Revised (ECR-R), Couple Satisfaction Index (CSI), and Dyadic Coping Inventory (DCI). Data were obtained through an online survey of Indonesian citizens aged ≥ 21 years, married, and having an only child aged zero to two years (N mothers = 90%, M age = 27.9, SD age = 2.8). The results of the mediation model analysis on Hayes' PROCESS macro showed that problem-focused common dyadic coping partially mediated the relationships between anxious attachment and marital satisfaction, and avoidant attachment and marital satisfaction. Similarly, emotion-focused dyadic coping partially mediated the relationships between anxious attachment and marital satisfaction, and avoidant attachment and marital satisfaction.
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Attachment Style, Gender, and Relationship Stability: A Longitudinal Analysis
Article
Full-text available
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Adult attachment styles in 354 heterosexual couples in serious dating relationships were examined. Principal findings included the following: (a) male and female attachment styles were nonrandomly paired, for example, no anxious-anxious or avoidant-avoidant pairs were found; (b) male and female styles related to concurrent relationship ratings of both partners in different but theoretically meaningful ways; (c) male and female styles contributed significantly to longitudinal prediction of relationship stability and status, even when prior duration and commitment to the relationship were statistically controlled; (d) specifically, relationships of avoidant men and of anxious women were surprisingly stable over 3 years, particularly in light of the relatively poor ratings of these relationships by both partners at Time 1. Discussion focuses on the need to integrate gender role considerations and relationship dynamics and processes into theorizing on adult attachment.
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Attachment and kinship selection among Uruguayan twins (monozygotic and dizygotic)
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A new 4-group model of attachment styles in adulthood is proposed. Four prototypic attachment patterns are defined using combinations of a person's self-image (positive or negative) and image of others (positive or negative). In Study 1, an interview was developed to yield continuous and categorical ratings of the 4 attachment styles. Intercorrelations of the attachment ratings were consistent with the proposed model. Attachment ratings were validated by self-report measures of self-concept and interpersonal functioning. Each style was associated with a distinct profile of interpersonal problems, according to both self- and friend-reports. In Study 2, attachment styles within the family of origin and with peers were assessed independently. Results of Study 1 were replicated. The proposed model was shown to be applicable to representations of family relations; Ss' attachment styles with peers were correlated with family attachment ratings.
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