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The Relationship, If Any, Between Marriage and Infidelity
Abstract
Infidelity has been hypothesized to be caused by any number of factors, including unhappy marriages. The current article explores the myths about infidelity and its treatment. Advice is offered to those treating affairs, and to those interested in successful marriages.
... For instance, Bernard (1974) proposed that when individuals fail to love, honor, and support their partners, they are violating the vows of a committed romantic relationship, and thus are engaging in infidelity. By contrast, Pittman and Wagers (2005) argued that the hallmark of infidelity is the secrecy and concealment of extradyadic behaviors, rather than any one specific extradyadic behavior. Thompson (1983) postulated a broad three-pronged definition of infidelity that required the following: (a) that extradyadic behavior is not permitted by romantic partners, (b) that behavior occurs outside the primary relationship, and (c) a description of the actual extradyadic behavior (intercourse, flirting, etc.). ...
... Second, participants indicated dishonest, lying, sneaking around, deceive, and secretive are central components of the infidelity concept. Such features are consistent with researchers' definitions of infidelity that have emphasized concealment of behaviors, lying, deceit, and secretiveness (i.e., Glass, 2002;Pittman & Wagers, 2005). Third, participants overwhelmingly used moral language to describe infidelity, including wrong, betrayal, disrespectful, selfish, bad, and immoral, indicating that most individuals hold unfavorable views of infidelity. ...
The current research tested whether the concept of infidelity is prototypically organized and whether laypeople's conceptualizations of infidelity are consistent with how researchers have operationalized this construct. Across 4 studies, results indicated that infidelity is indeed prototypically organized as individuals are able to list and rate how central certain features are to the infidelity construct. Furthermore, there was evidence that the centrality ratings influenced how individuals processed information in a series of memory tasks and narratives about infidelity experiences. Laypeople are less likely than researchers to consider the presence of particular behaviors (i.e., flirting, kissing, and sexual intercourse) as defining qualities of infidelity. Instead, laypeople focus more on the concealment of behaviors and the resulting emotional fallout from infidelity.
... La infidelidad ciberné-tica se define como el acto de tener un encuentro de tipo afectivo/emocional o físico con otra persona que no es su pareja romántica primaria a través de las redes sociales. Pittman y Wagers (2005) explicaron que el signo primordial de la infidelidad es la secretividad y el encubrimiento de la conducta extradiádica. Es importante aclarar que el espectro de la infidelidad, incluyendo la cibernéti-ca, conglomera tres distintas dimensiones de conductas catalogadas como infidelidad: explícitas, ambiguas y engañosas (Wilson, Mattingly, Clark, Weidler, & Bequette, 2011). ...
This study analyzes the psychometric properties of the Brief Inventory of Behaviors related to infidelity in social networks in a sample of Puerto Rican adults. A total of 350 Puerto Ricans participated in this exploratory and psychometric study. The results confirmed that the scale has a one-dimensional structure. The eight items on the scale met the discrimination criteria. The Cronbach alpha reliability index of the scale was .93. These results suggest that the instrument has the potential to measure this construct in Puerto Rican adults. In addition, the scale will allow the advance of new research on cybernetic unfaithfulness in Puerto Rican and Latin American couples.
... La infidelidad ciberné-tica se define como el acto de tener un encuentro de tipo afectivo/emocional o físico con otra persona que no es su pareja romántica primaria a través de las redes sociales. Pittman y Wagers (2005) explicaron que el signo primordial de la infidelidad es la secretividad y el encubrimiento de la conducta extradiádica. Es importante aclarar que el espectro de la infidelidad, incluyendo la cibernéti-ca, conglomera tres distintas dimensiones de conductas catalogadas como infidelidad: explícitas, ambiguas y engañosas (Wilson, Mattingly, Clark, Weidler, & Bequette, 2011). ...
This is a narrative review addressing the topic of romantic infidelity, its causes and its consequences. Love is commonly a source of much pleasure and fulfillment. However, as this review points out, it can also cause stress, heartache and may even be traumatic in some circumstances. Infidelity, which is relatively common in Western culture, can damage a loving, romantic relationship to the point of its demise. However, by highlighting this phenomenon, its causes and its consequences, we hope to provide useful insight for both researchers and clinicians who may be assisting couples facing these issues. We begin by defining infidelity and illustrating the various ways in which one may become unfaithful to their partner. We explore the personal and relational factors that enhance an individual’s tendency to betray their partner, the various reactions related to a discovered affair and the challenges related to the nosological categorization of infidelity-based trauma, and conclude by reviewing the effects of COVID-19 on unfaithful behavior, as well as clinical implications related to infidelity-based treatment. Ultimately, we hope to provide a road map, for academicians and clinicians alike, of what some couples may experience in their relationships and how can they be helped.
Con el propósito de circunscribir teórica y empíricamente el fenómeno de la infidelidad en internet, en este artículo se presenta una revisión de la literatura sobre su investigación empírica enmarcada en una discusión sociológica relacional sobre las parejas y la regulación de la sexualidad occidental. Este marco sociológico se usará para relacionar lo estructural y lo personal, así como para reconocer lógicas de valorización/desvalorización de las parejas. También se exponen algunas implicaciones de la socialidad digital (ampliación de canales de interacción, presencia a distancia, conexión permanente, desinhibición, imaginación, etc.), para relacionarse afectivamente con otros u otras. De esta manera se explica el potencial de esta forma de socialidad en la vida amorosa y sexual. Finalmente, se expone una revisión cualitativa de estudios empíricos que muestra que la infidelidad a través de mediaciones tecnológicas es un fenómeno creciente, que transforma las regulaciones normativas (con nuevos límites de lo permitido y lo prohibido), y que suele incitar comportamientos que-probablemente-no se realizarían en la copresencia. Como conclusión, se realiza una discusión crítica de los presupuestos éticos y morales en los que descansa la investigación sobre infidelidad en internet. Al respecto, se advierten tendencias a sancionar negativamente los actos infieles, a estigmatizar los secretos en la pareja, a aprobar acríticamente los ideales románticos y monogámicos, y a dramatizar la experiencia. No obstante, también emergen estudios en los que se constatan consecuencias positivas, o se pone en cuestión en alguna medida la institución de la monogamia. Estas ponderaciones tienden a hacer visibles la necesidad de una perspectiva sociológica en la investigación en este campo.
Sección especial: "Sentidos, emociones y artefactos: enfoques relacionales"
Con el propósito de circunscribir teórica y empíricamente el fenómeno de la infidelidad en internet, en este artículo se presenta una revisión de la literatura sobre su investigación empírica enmarcada en una discusión sociológica relacional sobre las parejas y la regulación de la sexualidad occidental. Este marco sociológico se usará para relacionar lo estructural y lo personal, así como para reconocer lógicas de valorización/desvalorización de las parejas. También se exponen algunas implicaciones de la socialidad digital (ampliación de canales de interacción, presencia a distancia, conexión permanente, desinhibición, imaginación, etc.), para relacionarse afectivamente con otros u otras. De esta manera se explica el potencial de esta forma de socialidad en la vida amorosa y sexual. Finalmente, se expone una revisión cualitativa de estudios empíricos que muestra que la infidelidad a través de mediaciones tecnológicas es un fenómeno creciente, que transforma las regulaciones normativas (con nuevos límites de lo permitido y lo prohibido), y que suele incitar comportamientos que –probablemente– no se realizarían en la copresencia. Como conclusión, se realiza una discusión crítica de los presupuestos éticos y morales en los que descansa la investigación sobre infidelidad en internet. Al respecto, se advierten tendencias a sancionar negativamente los actos infieles, a estigmatizar los secretos en la pareja, a aprobar acríticamente los ideales románticos y monogámicos, y a dramatizar la experiencia. No obstante, también emergen estudios en los que se constatan consecuencias positivas, o se pone en cuestión en alguna medida la institución de la monogamia. Estas ponderaciones tienden a hacer visibles la necesidad de una perspectiva sociológica en la investigación en este campo.
Untreue ist in partnerschaftlichen Beziehungen ein relativ weitverbreitetes Phänomen.
Prävalenzen hierfür liegen je nach Studie, Stichprobe und Operationalisierung bei 2-58%, in
der vorliegenden Stichprobe (N= 520) bei 42%. Sie wird als eine sexuelle Handlung, die
außerhalb einer Beziehung stattfindet, in der sich beide Partner/-innen darauf geeinigt
haben, sich sexuell exklusiv zu verhalten, definiert. Nachdem ein Treuebruch der am
häufigsten genannte Grund für eine Trennung ist, ist es von unerlässlicher Notwendigkeit,
dieses Phänomen besser zu verstehen. Auf Basis des Umstandes, dass es bisher noch keinen
Fragebogen zu den Einstellungen zu sexueller Untreue in partnerschaftlichen Beziehungen
gibt, der psychometrischen Kriterien gerecht wird, lag das Ziel der vorliegenden Arbeit
darin, einen Fragebogen hierzu zu konstruieren und zu validieren. Schlussendlich besteht
das Treue-Einstellungs-Inventar (TEI) in der Trait-Version aus 28 Items, die sich den fünf
Skalen "Wichtigkeit von Treue", "Legitimität von Untreue", "Interesse an Alternativen",
"Offenheit im Umgang mit Treubrüchen" und "Reaktion auf Treuebruch" zuordnen lassen.
Die Reliabilitäten der einzelnen Skalen des TEI-Trait liegen zwischen Cronbach's α = .79 und
.94. Der TEI-Trait weist insgesamt eine sehr hohe Reliabilität von Cronbach's α = .94 auf. Die
State-Version des TEI besteht aus 21 Items, die sich auf vier Skalen aufteilen, die mit
Ausnahme der Skala "Legitimität", äquivalent zur Trait-Version sind. Der TEI-State weist ebenfalls eine sehr hohe Reliabilität von Cronbach's α = .93 auf. Weiterhin wurden einige
Hypothesen zu Unterschieden in den Einstellungen nach Geschlecht, sexueller Orientierung,
normativer Geschlechterrollenorientierung und bisherigen Erfahrungen, sowie
Zusammenhänge mit Beziehungsvariablen, Gelegenheit zu außerpartnerschaftlicher
Intimität und Attraktivität aufgestellt und untersucht.
Sociocontextual factors such as gender and power play an important role in the etiology of affairs and in recovery from them, yet it is unclear how current treatment models address these issues. Drawing on feminist epistemology, this study utilized a grounded theory analysis of 29 scholarly articles and books on infidelity treatment published between 2000 and 2010 to identify the circumstances under which gender and power issues were or were not part of treatment. We found five conditions that limit attention to gender and power: (a) speaking (or assuming) as though partners are equal, (b) reframing infidelity as a relationship problem, (c) limiting discussion of societal context to background, (d) not considering how societal gender and power patterns impact relationship dynamics, and (e) limiting discussion of ethics on how to position around infidelity. Analysis explored how each occurred across three phases of couple therapy. The findings provide a useful foundation for a sociocontextual framework for infidelity treatment.
Infidelity is a common presenting problem in marriage and family therapy, and infidelity secrets are its common companion issue. When confronted with infidelity secrets, therapists encounter tension between the offending spouse's privacy and confidentiality rights and the non-offending spouse's right to relationship choice, which entails access to all relationship-relevant information. Professional ethical codes for relational therapy affirm both confidentiality considerations and equal advocacy for all persons in therapy. A relational therapy practice policy about disclosure of infidelity secrets is both critical and simultaneously fraught with tensions among competing accountabilities. A survey design was employed to investigate therapists’ attitudes concerning the relational impact of infidelity secrets and their judgments concerning how they should be handled in relational therapy. Findings reveal that relational therapists’ clinical judgment is that healing and attachment security are best promoted by disclosure, and that therapists support facilitated disclosure of infidelity in a context of informed, voluntary consent.
A critical and potentially polarizing decision in treating infidelity is whether facilitating partner disclosure or accommodating nondisclosure is most beneficial following private disclosure of infidelity to the therapist. Given couple distress and volatility following disclosure, understandably some therapists judge accommodating an infidelity secret both efficient and compassionate. Employing Western ethics and an attachment/intimacy lens, we consider ethical, pragmatic, and attachment intimacy implications of accommodating infidelity secrets. Issues bearing on the decision to facilitate disclosure or accommodate nondisclosure include (a) relationship ethics and pragmatics; (b) attachment and intimacy consequences; and (c) prospects for healing. We conclude that facilitating voluntary disclosure of infidelity, although difficult and demanding, represents the most ethical action with the best prospects for renewed and vital attachment intimacy.
[states] that infidelity is a matter deserving of attention and treatment in couples therapy, rather than, as has been previously believed in mental health circles, a moral issue and not a mental health one, or, as believed in psychoanalytic circles, less important than sexual fantasies and best handled with secrecy
myths about infidelity / honesty / jealousy / gender issues / patterns of infidelity [accidental infidelity, philandering, romantic affairs, marital arrangements] / intervention with infidelity / case examples (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
The purpose of this study was to compare cognitive-behavioral therapy (CT; n = 20), behavioral marital therapy (BMT; n = 19), and a treatment combining BMT and CT (CO; n = 21) in the alleviation of wives' depression and the enhancement of marital satisfaction. BMT was less effective than CT for depression in maritally nondistressed couples, whereas for maritally distressed couples the two treatments were equally effective. BMT was the only treatment to have a significant positive impact on relationship satisfaction in distressed couples, whereas CO was the only treatment to enhance the marital satisfaction of nondistressed couples. On marital interaction measures CO was the only treatment to significantly reduce both husband and wife aversive behavior and to significantly increase wife facilitative behavior.
Randomly selected samples of practicing couple therapists who were members of the American Psychological Association's Division 43 or the Association for Marriage and Family Therapy completed a survey of couple problem areas and therapeutic issues encountered in couple therapy. Therapists rated problem areas in terms of occurrence, treatment difficulty, and damaging impact. A composite of these 3 dimensions suggested that the most important problems were lack of loving feelings, power struggles, communication, extramarital affairs, and unrealistic: expectations. Comparison of the findings with therapist ratings obtained by S. K. Geiss and K. D. O'Leary (1981) suggests considerable stability in presenting problems in couple therapy over the past 15 years. Therapist-generated characteris tics associated with negative outcome were also identified, the most common being partners' inability or unwillingness to change and lack of commitment.
This study investigated the extent to which reports of marital problems in 1980 predicted divorce between 1980 and 1992, the extent to which these problems mediated the impact of demographic and life course variables on divorce, and gender differences in reports of particular marital problems and in the extent to which these reports predicted divorce. Wives reported more marital problems than husbands did, although this was due to husbands' tendency to report relatively few problems caused by their spouses. A variety of marital problems predicted divorce up to 12 years in the future. A parsimonious set of marital problems involving infidelity, spending money foolishly, drinking or drug use or both, jealousy, moodiness, and irritating habits mediated moderate proportions of the associations between demographic and life course variables and divorce.
The factors related to the occurrence of extramarital coitus (EMC) among persons whose marriages terminate in separation or divorce and the impact of participation in EMC on postmarital adjustment were examined. It was hypothesized that premarital coital experience, quality of marital sex, length of marriage, religiosity, and physical attractiveness would affect the occurrence of EMC. Additionally, tests were performed to assess whether participation in EMC increased, decreased, or had no effect on postmarital adjustment. The data are from a study of 205 individuals, separated no longer than 26 months, who completed in‐depth, face‐to‐face interviews about their marriage, its failure, and its aftermath. Most respondents who experienced EMC report that it was an effect, rather than a cause, of marital problems. Yet respondents tend to report that their spouse's infidelity was a cause of marital problems. Guilt is a significant by‐product of EMC for men and women, but men experience somewhat less guilt. Guilt is inversely related to satisfaction with EMC. Women report a significantly greater emotional involvement with their extramarital partners than men. Females who blamed their spouse or another person for the breakup of their marriage were significantly less likely to have had EMC, but no such relationship was found among males. Religiosity does not predict EMC, but among those who have had EMC, religiosity is positively related to how long after marriage EMC first occurred. There is no relationship between the presence or absence of EMC and marital quality at time of separation. Furthermore, EMC does not appear to be related to postmarital adjustment. Other variables such as marital quality, lifestyle attitudes, perceived consequences of EMC, perceived responsibility for family members, and perception of opportunity to engage in EMC need to be studied to further elucidate the occurrence of extramarital relationships.
Married persons completed anonymous questionnaires rating the extent to which they would feel justified having an extramarital relationship for 17 reasons derived from the clinical and research literatures. Men and women clustered these justifications similarly into four factors: sexual, romantic love, emotional intimacy, and extrinsic. Women approved less of sexual justifications and more of love justifications. Attitude-behavior congruence was demonstrated in the link between sexual justification and sexual involvement for both sexes and in the link between love justifications and emotional involvement for men. The data supported the observation that men separate sex and love; women appear to believe that love and sex go together and that falling in love justifies sexual involvement. Clinical implications include the importance of understanding the extramarital attitudes as cognitions and thresholds related to extramarital behavior. Research implications include the importance of assessing specific reasons including emotional justifications, assessing emotional involvement and sexual involvement, and analyzing for gender differences.
Randomly selected samples of practicing couple therapists who were members of the American Psychological Association's Division 43 or the Association for Marriage and Family Therapy completed a survey of couple problem areas and therapeutic issues encountered in couple therapy. Therapists rated problem areas in terms of occurrence, treatment difficulty, and damaging impact. A composite of these 3 dimensions suggested that the most important problems were lack of loving feelings, power struggles, communication, extramarital affairs, and unrealistic expectations. Comparison of the findings with therapist ratings obtained by S. K Geiss and K. D. O'Leary (1981) suggests considerable stability in presenting problems in couple therapy over the past 15 years. Therapist-generated characteristics associated with negative outcome were also identified, the most common being partners' inability or unwillingness to change and lack of commitment. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
Two surveys and a laboratory experiment examined the role of secrecy in attraction to relationships. In the 1st survey, respondents reported that past relationships they currently continued to think about were more likely to have been secret than ones they no longer pondered. In the 2nd survey, those respondents who indicated that a past relationship had been secret also reported that it continued to be a target of their obsessive preoccupation. The laboratory experiment explored attraction between mixed-sex couples who were induced to play footsie under a table in the presence of another couple. When this was secret, greater attraction for the partner was reported than when it was not. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
One of family therapy's wittiest and most sensible writers uses the family crisis as a launching point for discussing the entire range of events that can disrupt marriage and family life. . . . After laying out his basic ideas about theory and technique, Pittman embarks on a journey through the family life-cycle, starting with the "brittle institution of marriage." . . . His perceptive discussion of that most common crisis, the extramarital affair, will be of special interest to both beginning and experienced therapists. As the couple has children and moves with them through all the transition of childhood, adolescence and emancipation from the family, all kinds of crises may occur. Pittman shows how these can be seen to fall into four categories—bolts from the blue, developmental crises, structural crises, and caretaker crises—and how they can be treated with his seven-step model. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
Virtually all American couples, married or cohabiting, expect sexual exclusivity of one another. This article asks why some people are sexually exclusive while others have sex with someone besides their mate. Previous research has linked personal values, sexual opportunities, and quality of the marital relationship to extramartial sex. This paper integrates these findings in a multivariate model that incorporates factors informing sexual decision making as well as demographic “risk factors.” Nationally representative survey data show higher likelihood of sexual infidelity among those with stronger sexual interests, more permissive sexual values, lower subjective satisfaction with their union, weaker network ties to partner, and greater sexual opportunities. With these factors controlled, gender differences are substantially reduced or eliminated, although racial effects persist.
This is a study of the process of divorce. Unstructured interviews were conducted with divorced individuals by both the male and female authors. It was found that problems such as adultery, alcohol abuse, or financial difficulties were aspects of nearly all the broken marriages. However, these problems could not be viewed as thecauses for the divorce. Instead, problems were used as a basis for escalating a crisis in order to dissolve long-standing, deep emotional bonds. Specific problems became tools in the process of creating an unlivable situation culminating in divorce. The crisis created by the divorcing couple became a reality for their acquaintances. Divorcees used a variety of strategies in the struggle for allegiances following divorce. These strategies and the reactions of friends and relatives are discussed.
Typescript. Thesis (Ph. D.--Psychology)--Catholic University of America, 1980. Includes bibliographical references (leaves 127-136).
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