Content uploaded by Steve Killick
Author content
All content in this area was uploaded by Steve Killick on Mar 10, 2017
Content may be subject to copyright.
This article was downloaded by: [Neil Frude]
On: 30 December 2011, At: 11:46
Publisher: Routledge
Informa Ltd Registered in England and Wales Registered Number: 1072954
Registered office: Mortimer House, 37-41 Mortimer Street, London W1T 3JH,
UK
Psychodynamic Practice
Publication details, including instructions for authors
and subscription information:
http://www.tandfonline.com/loi/rpco20
Family storytelling and the
attachment relationship
Neil Frude a & Steve Killick b
a Cardiff and Vale University Health Board and
Glamorgan University, Glamorgan, UK
b Cwm Taf Local Health Board, Cardiff University,
Cardiff, UK
Available online: 18 Nov 2011
To cite this article: Neil Frude & Steve Killick (2011): Family storytelling and the
attachment relationship, Psychodynamic Practice, 17:4, 441-455
To link to this article: http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14753634.2011.609025
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN FOR ARTICLE
Full terms and conditions of use: http://www.tandfonline.com/page/terms-
and-conditions
This article may be used for research, teaching, and private study purposes.
Any substantial or systematic reproduction, redistribution, reselling, loan, sub-
licensing, systematic supply, or distribution in any form to anyone is expressly
forbidden.
The publisher does not give any warranty express or implied or make any
representation that the contents will be complete or accurate or up to
date. The accuracy of any instructions, formulae, and drug doses should be
independently verified with primary sources. The publisher shall not be liable
for any loss, actions, claims, proceedings, demand, or costs or damages
whatsoever or howsoever caused arising directly or indirectly in connection
with or arising out of the use of this material.
Family storytelling and the attachment relationship
Neil Frude
a
* and Steve Killick
b
a
Cardiff and Vale University Health Board and Glamorgan University, Glamorgan,
UK;
b
Cwm Taf Local Health Board, Cardiff University, Cardiff, UK
(Received 1 November 2010; final version received 1 March 2011)
Family storytelling can have a number of profound and long-lasting
beneficial effects on children, on parents and caregivers, and on the
relationships between them. Stories broaden the child’s experience of the
world and, in particular, provide an education in human psychology. By
showing how the thoughts, feelings and actions of the characters are
inter-related, stories increase children’s emotional literacy. The story-
teller’s own emotional responses to characters and plot developments,
and her comments on the story, guide the child’s emotional responses.
Storytelling by a parent in the security of the home can provide an ideal
situation for the child to confront such demons as the threat of
abandonment. Attachment theory suggests that storytelling by a key
attachment figure is especially powerful, and that storytelling may
strengthen attachment relationships in important ways.
Keywords: attachment; storytelling; children; family; stories; emotion;
development
Introduction
Parents who regularly tell stories to their children may think of this activity
as simply a pleasant way of amusing the child and spending some quality
time with them. Such a view, however, hugely underestimates the
importance and the beneficial effects of storytelling by parents and
caregivers. In this article, we argue that the positive effects of family
storytelling can be profound and long-lasting. We will discuss many aspects
of this positive impact including the effects that family storytelling can have
on the attachment bond between the parent or caregiver who tells the story
and the child who listens and responds. We will emphasise the fact that
children are not just passive listeners but actively collaborate with the
storyteller in this special form of social interaction. Our evaluation of the
positive power of storytelling will then be discussed in light of recent
*Corresponding author. Email: neil.frude@ntlworld.com
Psychodynamic Practice
Vol. 17, No. 4, November 2011, 441–455
ISSN 1475-3634 print/ISSN 1475-3626 online
Ó2011 Taylor & Francis
http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/14753634.2011.609025
http://www.tandfonline.com
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
evidence suggesting that the prevalence of family storytelling has declined
significantly in recent years.
Storytelling has a long and distinguished history which predates written
language by several millennia. Storytellers passed on oral traditions in the form
of myths and folk tales. With increasing levels of literacy, storytelling as a
pastime declined in importance and popularity, but in recent years there has
been a considerable resurgence of interest. Meanwhile, the tradition of parents
telling (or, more often, reading) stories to their children has continued, albeit
with a recent decline. Elsewhere we have presented a broad discussion of the
psychology of storytelling (Killick & Frude, 2009). In this article, we focus
particularly on ‘family storytelling’ by which we mean parents or caregivers
(grandparents, foster carers, etc.) telling or reading stories to children.
Stories broaden children’s experience of the world
Stories are entertaining, of course, but they are much more than that. They
introduce the child to a wider world, and by introducing new words, new
concepts, new ideas, a vast array of characters and a broad spectrum of
scenarios, they broaden the child’s experience. Because they introduce children
to aspects of the world that they would not encounter directly, it could be said
that stories, like travel, ‘broaden the mind’. Another way of conceptualising
this is to think of stories as adding to the child’s ‘stock of knowledge’. By
describing things as they are and as they might be, stories help children to
develop cognitively and emotionally. Stories can be thought of as play
materials, and the storytelling situation can be thought of as a playroom or a
laboratory in which substantial psychological development can take place.
Thus a child who has never directly experienced the sea may learn from
stories that in order to cross the ocean a person needs to take a boat unless
they have magical powers of flying. A child will learn from a familiar fairy
tale that houses made of straw are vulnerable to attack, whereas houses
made of bricks are strong enough to exclude predatory wolves. Children can
learn from stories that it is easy to get lost in a forest and that a cow is
generally worth much more than a handful of beans.
Stories broaden children’s social experience
One particularly important aspect of the educative function of stories is that
they introduce children to a vast social world populated by a range of
memorable characters who engage in the full range of human activity.
Through stories, we encounter the powerful and the weak, the virtuous and
the vicious, the old and the young, the pretty and the ugly, the brave and the
cowardly. Characters in stories enter into relationships, endure struggles and
respond to incidents with fear, disappointment, delight and joy. Characters
behave ‘in character’, engaging in all manner of social actions – they fall in
442 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
love, they torture, they kill, they maim, they cast spells, they abandon
hapless children and they rescue those in peril.
Storytelling reveals the motives, intentions and emotions of the characters
by providing access to their internal speech. We hear what characters are
saying to themselves, and we learn that such self-talk often contrasts sharply
with what is said to other people. By granting the listener special access to the
hidden psyche of the characters, stories provide knowledge of human
psychology. The listener can follow the characters’ motives, intentions and
reactions and gain many insights into ‘what makes people tick’. Thus children
learn about the inner world of other people and also, by implication, they learn
about their own thought processes and their own feelings. By demonstrating
the relationships between thoughts, feelings and behaviour, stories help to
increase children’s emotional literacy (Thomas & Killick, 2007). It may also
develop two of the developmental pathways of a secure attachment; that of
mentalisation (Fonagy & Target, 2006), the ability to be aware of the mental
life of self and others, and also of autobiographical (or narrative) competence,
the ability to tell one’s story in an emotionally congruent way (Holmes, 1993).
Of course, many stories are set in a world of make believe, in which houses
are made of gingerbread and evil witches can change princes into frogs. So in
what sense do these stories tell children about the real world? The answer is that
make believe settings, scenarios and characters ensure that the story is
fascinating, exciting and entertaining but that although the landscape may be
colourful, exotic and surrealistic, the thoughts, feelings and actions of the
characters may nevertheless be thoroughly realistic. Thus against a background
of sorcery, talking animals, and beans that grow overnight into huge giant-
supporting plants, the characters act realistically in terms of their motives,
intentions and emotional reactions so that even the most fantastic stories
provide children with opportunities to learn about real psychological responses.
This also facilitates the child’s understanding of their own internal reality.
Stories stimulate emotional responses
Many stories are designed to rouse the passions of the listener and they do
indeed make a strong emotional impact. Thus a story may amuse a child,
frighten her or move her to tears of compassion. Some stories stimulate a
roller-coaster of emotions, as when a hero faces more and more dangers
until, in a tantalising climax, he finally emerges as victorious. The giant is
slain, the wolf tumbles into a cauldron of boiling water, or the princess is
rescued from her dank prison. And the listener can breathe again.
As various emotions are stimulated by stories, the child has many
opportunities to note the connections between the events in the story and
how these make them feel. The storyteller may annotate the story
developments by labelling the likely emotional responses (‘Snow White
has died – isn’t that sad?’). She may also help the child to cope with negative
Psychodynamic Practice 443
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
emotions such as anger and sadness in various ways, for example by looking
forward optimistically (‘Do you think that a Prince might come and kiss her
back to life again? Shall we see?’). All of this adds to the child’s experience of
emotions and capacity to deal with difficult emotions. The parent can
convey many complex messages about emotions through storytelling.
Many familiar children’s stories are rather menacing, and several of the
classic stories include horrific scenes. Some of these are likely to stimulate
anxiety because the child will identify with characters who are victimised in
various ways, for example by being abandoned. Although children can be
distressed by ‘scary stories’, they are often attracted by stories with some
horrific content, for example those that include wicked deeds committed by
ogres, giants, witches and genies. Children appear to have an inbuilt
attraction towards portrayals of menace. Several explanations have been
offered for this phenomenon, but a common explanatory theme is that of the
child’s wish to confront menacing situations and then mastering their fears.
Threats may be relatively easy to confront when they are confronted in an
indirect way (as in a story) and when the situation of the confrontation is
secure and protective. Storytelling by a parent, in the child’s bedroom,
perhaps with a favourite toy to hand, would seem to be an ideal situation in
which to confront demons. We will return to the issue of ‘scary stories’ later,
when we consider the phenomenon in light of the highly influential theory of
child development – attachment theory.
Storytelling as a social activity
Because live storytelling always involves a storyteller and a listener, it is
essentially a social activity. Any storyteller is conscious of how the story is
being received by the audience and they may adjust the speed, the style and
sometimes even the content of their delivery in order to maximise the impact
(in terms of amusement or dramatic effect). Thus live storytelling is not
simply a one-way transmission of information but is reactive and interactive.
It is a social activity involving two or more people who are, at least for the
duration of the storytelling, involved together in a special type of social
relationship. Clearly, storytelling delivered via radio, film or television is not
interactive in this way, and this is one reason why stories transmitted by
these media may be less powerful than stories told live.
Storytelling is a special kind of social interaction and this activity is
especially powerful when the person telling a story to a child is the child’s
parent or caregiver. A number of particularly significant aspects of the
parent–child storytelling situation will be described briefly before introdu-
cing attachment theory to shed additional light on the special characteristics
of parent–child storytelling.
Parent–child storytelling encourages synchrony between the storytelling
parent and the listening child. Whenever people interact, there is a tendency
444 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
for their movements, gestures and verbal behaviour to synchronise. Detailed
analyses of videotapes of interactions between young infants and their
caregivers showed that infants and mothers synchronise their movements
even in the first weeks of the infant’s life (Stern, 1985,1995). In addition to
the automatic and unconscious ‘choreography’ involved in this synchronised
dance, adults also deliberately encourage such synchrony, for example by
exaggerating their own gestures and sounds, by consciously imitating the
infant’s movements and by repeating the same movements again and again.
Storytelling and the reciting of nursery rhymes provide many opportu-
nities for the exercise and development of non-verbal and verbal synchrony.
Parents’ attempts to encourage synchronised actions by young children are
particularly apparent when they engage with the child in reciting nursery
rhymes. In this situation, the caregiver first entertains the child, who is
primarily the listener; they then invite the child to collaborate with them and
eventually they hand over the main speaking part so that the child becomes
the principal performer. Nursery rhymes lend themselves readily to this
process, even in children who are very young, because these rhymes have a
very simple structure and pronounced rhythm.
The parent’s efforts to involve the child as an active participant may be
less apparent in narrative storytelling, but a parent who is telling a story will
often encourage the child to ‘join in’ in various ways so that the event
becomes more of a dialogue than a monologue. Thus the child may be
invited to engage in conversation about one of the characters or about some
aspects of the unfolding story.
Parent–child storytelling interaction involves the two sharing an
experience. Together they become familiar with the characters, follow the
plot and react emotionally to events as they are revealed. Furthermore, the
parent and the child are each aware that the other is sharing similar
experiences. There is something different about, for example, watching a
film alone or with other people. Part of what makes theatre and live concerts
so powerful is the fact that other people are sharing the experience at the
same time and in the same place. Thus experiencing the same story together
is likely to make that story more enjoyable and also likely to enhance the
relationship. The story is an object of shared attention. It may also echo
Winnicott’s concept of transitional space, the shared illusion of an
intermediate area of experience between internal and external reality.
Storytelling allows the child to witness parental responses
There are several ways in which storytelling can increase children’s
emotional literacy. Stories depict characters reacting emotionally to a
wide range of situations, so that children learn what excites, delights,
disappoints, angers and frightens people. Stories also show characters
displaying their emotions in various ways and, in some cases, hiding their
Psychodynamic Practice 445
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
true feelings and their true motives. Live storytelling also provides the child
with many opportunities to witness the emotional impact of the story on the
storyteller. The storyteller will sometimes be genuinely ‘moved’ by a story,
but even if the story does not make such an impact, the storyteller will often
demonstrate the ‘appropriate’ reaction to a story development by
performing exaggerated emotional behaviours. When a wicked witch
appears, the parent’s fear and anger will be apparent from her tone and
facial expression; when Snow White dies after eating the poisoned apple, the
storyteller shows grief and when Rapunzel is rescued from the tower, the
storyteller shows joy. When, at the Royal ball, the clock starts chiming
towards midnight, the parent’s responses are likely to mirror Cinderella’s
panic and this sense of urgency and anxiety is likely to invigorate the child.
Feelings of emergency are contagious, as are feelings of amusement, anger,
sadness and fear; and when the shoe fits comfortably on Cinderella’s foot,
the storyteller demonstrates her relief and her delight that Cinderella will
marry the Prince and live happily ever after.
Thus family storytelling exposes the child to the parent’s emotional
responses to a wide variety of provocative situations. The storyteller, in
effect, guides the child to experience culturally appropriate responses to
situations. The parent may also annotate the reading with comments that
highlight and label the appropriate judgements and responses (‘the man who
hurts the dog is not very nice, is he?’).
The storytelling parent will monitor the child’s responses to make sure
that the child is moved emotionally in appropriate ways and will encourage
appropriate responses. Thus stories provide exciting and varied contexts in
which the storyteller and the listener can not only share a wide range of
experiences but can also observe each other’s reactions. Family storytelling
provides wonderful opportunities for the caregiver and the child to learn
more about each other. Being involved together in the story is akin to being
fellow travellers on a journey, and the story provides many opportunities for
the parent and child to witness each other’s reactions. By observing the
parent’s emotional responses and social judgements, the child will also
become increasingly aware of the parent’s values and beliefs.
Storytelling provides emotional education
We have seen how, in several different ways, through observation, imitation
and contagion, the social interaction that occurs in storytelling provides
many opportunities for the child to learn about emotional responding. The
child learns about the storyteller’s responses, about their own responses, and
also about the storyteller’s reactions to their responses. All of this is likely to
have a substantial impact on the child’s emotional literacy.
The storytelling parent’s intimate knowledge of their child’s abilities,
interests and preferences will guide them in choosing which stories to tell,
446 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
and will enable them to adjust the style of their delivery to have the
maximum desired impact on the child. Regular storytelling will allow the
parent to witness the cumulative impact of stories and to develop their style
and repertoire to thrill, amuse and delight the child.
Clearly, some parents are more skilled than others in telling stories, in
engaging the child in the narrative, and in using gestures and intonations to
convey the feelings and motives of the characters. Some parents may be
especially skilled in tailoring stories to the child’s interests and stage of
cognitive development. But the strong pre-existing relationship between the
storyteller and the child will usually guarantee a considerable impact
whatever be the level of the storyteller’s skill. Children greatly appreciate
opportunities to engage in focused and entertaining interaction with the
parent, and storytelling provides an excellent context for spending quality
time together.
Stories provide guidance
It is clear that stories have an important educative effect whether or not the
storyteller has any intention to educate. In addition, many stories, ancient
and modern, have a ‘hermeneutic’ or ‘message bringing’ function. Many of
the messages are prescriptive and imply that there are specific ways in which
the child should think and behave. They convey ideas about what is good
and what is evil, what is right and what is wrong, often transmitting through
the ‘moral’ of the story the standards and expectations of the culture. Thus
much religious teaching to children is delivered by means of stories, and
some collections of stories (the most famous example being ‘Aesop’s
Fables’) have the clear and explicit intention of providing the listener with
‘lessons in how to live’. In many cases, the message is implicit and may be so
subtle that it could be considered subliminal, but stories are highly effective
as a means of transmitting serious and complex messages because they are
so engaging and so entertaining.
An appreciation of the hermeneutic function of storytelling generally
focuses on the content of stories (the ‘message’) and how stories teach
children certain facts of life (for example, that it pays to be wary of strangers
and that it is good to be brave and to go adventuring). But what also needs
to be appreciated is the particularly high impact of messages conveyed in the
context of live storytelling and spoken by the authoritative, trusted and
powerful voice of the parent.
To tell a story is to approve of it, to endorse it and to ‘sign up’ to it. At
some level, then, telling a story involves presenting the message as
commendable or ‘true’. Thus a parent telling a story about a young hero
who overcomes extreme adversity and finds satisfaction in doing a good
deed is giving the child a powerful message. The parent is informing that
child that fearful problems can be solved, that trials and tribulations are
Psychodynamic Practice 447
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
often followed by triumph and success, and that virtuous deeds are both
worthy and worthwhile.
Storytelling and parent–child attachment
A deeper understanding of the significance of storytelling in the context of a
close relationship between the parent (or caregiver) and the child can be
gained by considering storytelling from the perspective of ‘attachment
theory’ (Ainsworth, Blehar, Waters, & Wall, 1978; Bowlby, 1969, 1973,
1980, 1988; Fonagy, Steele, Moran, Steele, & Higgitt, 1991; Fonagy, Steele,
& Steele, 1991). This can help us both to appreciate how an existing
attachment relationship adds power to the storytelling activity and to
understand how storytelling can enhance the attachment between the
storyteller (the parent or caregiver) and the child.
John Bowlby’s attachment theory maintains that young children are
biologically pre-programmed to seek security and that they do this by
striving to maintain proximity to an ‘attachment figure’ (usually a parent).
This innate drive becomes especially apparent when children are feeling
threatened or insecure. The theory asserts that the quality of a child’s
relationship with the attachment figure is a critical determinant of the child’s
psychological development. Children who form a good relationship with
their attachment figure are said to be ‘securely attached’ and tend to be calm
and confident whereas children who are ‘insecurely attached’ are likely to be
highly anxious or withdrawn. Securely attached children also tend to be
confident about exploring their environment so that they gradually become
more and more independent and more able to tolerate the caregiver’s
absence, as if they are confident of her eventual return. Before they are able
to understand language, children’s sense of security simply reflects the
quality of their attachment and certain aspects of the immediate situation (in
particular, whether the situation is familiar and whether a key attachment
figure is present). Later, however, when a child is able to understand the
relevant concepts and language, they may be reassured by verbal messages
promising them that the parent will soon return or that an alternative
caregiver is supportive and friendly. Typically, children gain much of their
understanding of the concepts and issues relevant to personal security from
stories, because themes of security, threat and abandonment are extremely
common in folk tales and other stories. Some stories provide a comforting
view of security issues but many are very challenging and some focus
specifically on extreme personal threat.
There is strong and growing evidence that an individual’s personal
attachment history has profound implications for their relationships
throughout their lives. Thus the effects of a person’s early attachments
have been shown to persist into adult life and to affect both their
relationships at work and their romantic relationships (Fraley & Shaver,
448 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
2000). People who have a history of secure attachment are generally able to
establish good relationships with others and they tend to be responsive and
caring to their own children and also towards those who are frail, sick or
disabled.
The crucial significance of a person’s attachment history means that any
activity that can help to establish and maintain a secure attachment is likely
to make an extremely valuable contribution to a child’s development. We
maintain that storytelling by a caregiver is just such an activity.
Attachment theory suggests that it is the quality of the social engagement
between the child and the attachment figure that is important rather than
simply the amount of time that they spend together. This involves the child
and the carer interacting positively, each focusing on the other or engaging
together in a joint activity. Thus it may involve the caregiver soothing,
comforting or cuddling the child or, alternatively, it may involve a lively
interaction between the two as they play together or as the caregiver
responds with evident interest and delight to the child’s behaviour. The
family storytelling situation, of course, provides many opportunities for all
of these types of interaction. Interactive play, storytelling and the recitation
of nursery rhymes provide the caregiver with many opportunities to
synchronise with the child’s actions, to be especially attentive towards the
child, to share in the child’s delight and to show an appreciation of the
child’s abilities.
Children are often exhilarated when a parent or caregiver responds to
them in a lively and animated fashion, and games, nursery rhymes and
traditional fairy tales certainly facilitate such liveliness and responsiveness.
Interacting regularly in a particularly animated way with a key attachment
figure is likely to have highly beneficial effects for the child, fostering a
positive self-image and an interpersonal warmth which is then likely to be
reflected in favourable attitudes towards other people.
It is interesting to note that professional storytellers demonstrate many
of the characteristics associated with ideal attachment figures – they are
lively and animated in their actions, they engage very well with their
listeners, they ‘tune in’ very accurately to the mood of their audience and
they adjust their performance skillfully in response to audience reactions.
Stories and attachment
As well as helping us to appreciate the special developmental significance of
storytelling as a form of social interaction, attachment theory can also help
us to appreciate the particular significance of storytelling involving stories
that focus on themes of security and attachment.
It is clear that many traditional stories focus on security and attachment
themes. This may well be because these issues are particularly salient to
children. According to attachment theory, the critical need for survival has
Psychodynamic Practice 449
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
led to the evolution of certain brain processes that shape an organism’s
behaviour and experience so that they behave in ways that optimise their
chances of survival. Thus children are innately programmed to seek out
security. They are biologically shaped to be highly focused on security issues
and their preoccupation with these matters is reflected in their fascination
with stories that explore relevant themes.
Many authorities, including prominent figures from the field of
psychoanalysis (e.g. Bruno Bettelheim and Clarissa Pinkola Estes) and
leading mythologists (e.g. Joseph Campbell), have suggested that many of
the classic myths and fairytales tap into universal psychological themes and
offer important psychological insights through their motifs, their use of
archetypes and their narrative structures. Exposure to stories that raise
sensitive and threatening issues is seen as contributing to positive
psychological development by allowing these issues to be confronted and
addressed in an indirect, impersonal and relatively safe way.
Stories that focus on security issues explore one or more of three basic
themes. These can be classified as: (a) assured security, (b) adventuring
beyond the secure base and (c) confronting threats to security. In many
cases, the narrative incorporates several of these themes, moving between
them in a complex pattern with various twists and turns in the plot.
Relatively few stories include only the first type of security theme and
simply present a picture of assured and undisturbed security. Such
‘unchallenging’ stories are usually told only to the youngest children and
they depict characters (often animals) who live in totally secure circum-
stances and enjoy untroubled relationships. These stories are relentlessly
reassuring but lack the ‘edge’ that attracts many older children.
Other stories depict a brave hero wandering beyond the secure base and
achieving independence through travel and adventure. Typically, security is
regained only after substantial threats and challenges have been overcome.
Thus many folk tales depict a young person leaving the security of their
home and travelling to distant lands on a mission. The young hero then
encounters various obstacles and enemies but manages to contend with all
of the adversity so that he is able to return home in triumph, having fully
established his maturity and his independence.
The last of the three themes is much darker, but many stories do focus on
major threats to security. These threats take various forms including
enslavement (as in Cinderella), incarceration (as in Rapunzel) and abandon-
ment (as in Hansel and Gretel).
The main theme of Hansel and Gretel is the cruel abandonment of two
children by their parents. The story then develops by exploiting the highly
disquieting theme of ‘false security’ as the children are ‘rescued’ by an old
woman who appears to be kind and to offer security but turns out to have
evil intentions. The ‘false rescuer’ theme occurs in a number of stories. In
other stories, a character who has a key caregiving role, and who should
450 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
therefore be offering security, is shown to present a major threat. In the most
familiar version of this, a child’s natural parent is replaced by an uncaring,
unresponsive and sometimes flagrantly cruel ‘caregiver’ (typically a cruel
stepmother).
From the perspective of attachment theory, a threatening storyline
challenges the child’s sense of security. Although the story is not about the
child herself, there is a vicarious threat because the child listener often
identifies with the hero.
Attachment theory maintains that when a child experiences any threat,
she/he experiences an increased need for reassurance and closeness. Thus
when a child experiences a stranger, hears a loud noise, feels pain, or visits
an unfamiliar environment (such as a hospital), she/he is likely to want to
hold on to the caregiver, to snuggle up closer for added protection and to
maintain her sense of security. Thus faced with a disturbing story and
hearing about characters who are neglected, abandoned, enslaved or
incarcerated, the child is likely to be distressed and will therefore seek to
be comforted by an attachment figure. In family storytelling, of course, the
parent or caregiver is responsible for presenting the threatening scene and
increasing the child’s concerns, but is also present as the attachment figure
who is able to offer security and reassurance.
This dual role is potentially very powerful because it can enable the child
to confront all manner of possible horrors without experiencing undue
distress. When the person telling a scary story is the child’s parent or
caregiver, the threat provided by the story is rendered tolerable because of
the close and constant presence of the secure attachment figure. Stories told
in such a secure context can help children to confront their fears, to face up
to potential difficulties relating to security issues and to develop problem-
solving and coping strategies. Thus scary stories offer children safe ways of
experiencing danger and learning to cope with it. The security that is offered
by the family storytelling context means that the child can enjoy the
excitement of feeling scared while being reassured that there is no real-life
threat. Such reassurance is implicit in the fact of the positive attachment
relationship, but it may also be made explicit by the parent’s verbal
assurances and by her comforting smiles and cuddles.
Thus when stories are told by a trusted adult in a secure setting
(typically, in the home and often the child’s own bedroom), the child may be
excited, rather than terrified, by stories featuring cannibalistic witches,
hungry wolves and furious giants. Facing up to fearful situations in the
context of fiction can help real fears to be overcome. Stories about demons
may cast out those demons and stories about ghosts may serve to exorcise
those ghosts. Of course, confronting make-believe ghosts also has the
potential to increase the child’s fears, and a parent who senses that a story is
eliciting undue anxiety is likely to provide additional reassurance,
emphasising the fact that the story is make-believe and demonstrating
Psychodynamic Practice 451
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
strategies that the child can use to cope with anxiety and to reduce her own
fear.
This account highlights the use of the established attachment relation-
ship to enable the child to confront potentially distressing issues presented in
the form of scary stories. It emphasises how the security offered by the
parent’s relationship with the child means that the child can be exposed to
safe challenges. But the situation can also be looked at in another way. Scary
stories provoke an urgent need for reassurance, and the fact that the
storyteller is the caregiver means that such reassurance can be immediately
given. The elicitation of such reassurance is likely to reinforce the
attachment bond, strengthening it from both sides. The parent may feel
closer to the child because the child has looked to them for comfort and
reassurance, while the child may well feel closer to the attachment figure as a
result of the security and reassurance given by that adult.
Internal working models
Attachment theory seeks to explain how children develop beliefs and
theories about the world, themselves and other people that reflect the nature
of their attachment, their sense of security and the extent to which they
regard people as trustworthy and the world as a safe or a dangerous place.
The beliefs and theories that children develop are referred to as their
‘internal working models’, and these determine how the child appraises
events, other people and themselves.
Stories provide access to the inner world of characters and help children
to develop the ability to ‘mind-read’ other people. This links to attachment
concepts of ‘mentalisation’ and ‘intersubjectivity’, a sense of the other
gained through interrelatedness. There is evidence that children who are
securely attached are better able to understand their own mind and other
people’s minds than those who are not securely attached (Bretherton &
Munholland, 1999). Mind-reading ability is a key social skill that is vital in
the formation and maintenance of both casual and close relationships.
The child’s internal working model makes the world predictable and
allows her to read social situations effectively so that she can anticipate how
other people are likely to behave. It also allows her to predict the likely
social effects of her own actions. Realistic insight has clear survival value. It
is especially important for the child to develop the ability to judge accurately
who can be trusted and who might present a threat. The child needs to trust
other people but not to be too trusting. She needs to be able to distinguish
those who are authentically friendly from those who merely pretend to be
friendly for their own ends. The key importance of this skill may explain
why so many stories focus on the theme of deception and portray characters
who first appear to offer security and support but are later exposed as
villains.
452 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
Storytelling as a therapeutic intervention
We have noted that family storytelling is much more than a pleasant
pastime. It can have an important educational role, broadening children’s
understanding of the world, of other people and of themselves. Stories also
stimulate a wide range of emotional responses and many provide examples
of effective coping strategies; thus stories can help the child to build
emotional resilience. When the storyteller is a trusted adult who tells the
story in a familiar environment, the child may feel so secure that she can
enjoy being confronted with stories that challenge her security. Confronta-
tion of such issues may indeed help to build the child’s confidence and
resilience.
Because storytelling also enables the caregiver and the child to witness
each other’s response to a wide range of characters and story developments
it can play a powerful role in increasing their mutual understanding and
maintaining and strengthening the attachment bond between them.
These functions and effects suggest that storytelling may be useful as a
positive intervention to boost a child’s social understanding, to promote the
mutual understanding between the caregiver and the child and to help to
create, maintain or reinforce an attachment relationship.
Storytelling can be used to strengthen and repair the bond between a
parent and child who have a weak or damaged attachment. Dan Hughes, a
psychologist specialising in helping children to repair and make secure
bonds of attachment with caregivers, has described various ways in which
therapists might employ the skills of the storyteller in their communication
with children and how they might help parents to employ such skills
(Hughes, 2006, 2009).
Storytelling can also be used to help establish a strong attachment
between the child and a new caregiver (for example, in the case of fostering
or adoption). Thus Lacher, Nicholls, and May (2005) have shown how
parents can be helped to devise and tell stories to children who have a
history of abuse and need help in creating a safe and trusting relationship
with their new parents. The stories used in such situations convey powerful
messages about belonging, being loved and being secure.
Conclusion
Storytelling has always played an important role in promoting child
development and, even in this age of electronic media, live storytelling still
has much to offer that is powerful and unique. Any reduction in this rich
source of developmental support would be extremely unfortunate.
It is important that the key significance of storytelling should be widely
recognised and appreciated and its use encouraged and promoted. Parents
should be helped to appreciate the fact that telling stories to their children is
Psychodynamic Practice 453
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
a rich activity with very powerful developmental effects and that it
represents much more than a short period of entertainment. Although this
recommendation focuses on family storytelling, a case can also be made for
increased awareness and use of the power of storytelling by teachers and
health professionals involved in child development. This includes those who
work with children with special needs and with children who are
experiencing social or emotional difficulties. The family therapists Rudi
Dallos and Arlene Vetere have linked attachment theory and the narrative
approach to therapy to create a therapeutic approach that can be used to
address a wide range of family and child development issues (Dallos &
Vetere, 2009).
There is evidence to suggest that storytelling within families is on the
decline (Booktime, 2008). If this proves to be the case, it would be a cause
for concern. If the number of parents and caregivers who regularly read
stories or tell stories to their young children is now significantly less than it
was some years ago, then there are likely to be substantial adverse effects of
this decline. This article has described how family storytelling serves many
important developmental functions and this implies that a significant
reduction would have serious negative implications both in the short term
and in the longer term.
References
Ainsworth, M.D., Blehar, M.C., Waters, E., & Wall, S. (1978). Patterns of
attachment: A psychological study of the strange situation. Hillsdale, N.J.:
Erlbaum.
Booktime. (2008). Retrieved August 4, 2011, from http://www.booktime.org.uk/
show/feature/Booktime-September-2008-Press-Release
Bowlby, J. (1969). Attachment and loss. Vol. I: Attachment. London: Penguin Books.
Bowlby, J. (1973). Attachment and loss. Vol. II. Separation: anxiety and anger.
London: Penguin Books.
Bowlby, J. (1980). Attachment and loss. Vol. III. Loss, sadness and depression.
London: The Hogarth Press and the Institute of Psycho-Analysis.
Bowlby, J. (1988). A secure base: Clinical applications of attachment theory. London:
Routledge.
Bretherton, I., & Munholland, K.A. (1999). Internal working models in attachment
relationships: A construct revisited. In: J. Cassidy & P.R. Shaver PR (Eds.),
Handbook of attachment: Theory, research and clinical applications (pp. 89–114).
New York, NY: Guilford Press.
Dallos, R., & Vetere, A. (2009). Systemic therapy and attachment narratives. London:
Routledge.
Fonagy, P., Steele, M., & Steele, H. (1991). Maternal representations of attachment
predict the organisation of infant mother–attachment at one year of age. Child
Development,62, 891–905.
Fonagy, P., Steele, H., Moran, G., Steele, M., & Higgitt, A. (1991). The capacity for
understanding mental states: The reflective self in parent and child and its
significance for security of attachment. Infant Mental Health Journal,13, 200–
217.
454 N. Frude and S. Killick
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
Fonagy, P., & Target, M. (2006). The mentalization-based approach to self
pathology. Journal of Personality Disorders,20, 544–576.
Fraley, R.C., & Shaver, P.R. (2000). Adult romantic attachment: Theoretical
developments, emerging controversies, and unanswered questions. Review of
General Psychology,4, 132–154.
Holmes, J. (1993). John bowlby and attachment theory. London: Routledge.
Hughes, D. (2006). Building the bonds of attachment: Awakening love in deeply
troubled children (2nd ed.). Lanham, MD: Jason Aronson.
Hughes, D. (2009). Attachment-focused parenting: Effective strategies to care for
children (Norton Professional Books). New York, NY: Norton.
Killick, S., & Frude, N. (2009). The teller, the tale and the told – the psychology of
storytelling. Psychologist,22, 850–853.
Lacher, D., Nicholls, T., & May, J. (2005). Connecting with kids through stories.
London: Jessica Kingsley.
Stern, D.N. (1985). The interpersonal world of the infant. New York, NY: Basic
Books.
Stern, D.N. (1995). The motherhood constellation. New York, NY: Basic Books.
Thomas, T., & Killick, S. (2007). Telling tales: Storytelling as emotional literacy.
Blackburn: Educational Printing Services.
Psychodynamic Practice 455
Downloaded by [Neil Frude] at 11:46 30 December 2011
