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Factors Associated with Distress Following the Breakup of a Close Relationship
Abstract
The purpose of this investigation was to identify the factors associated with the distress experienced after the breakup of a romantic relationship, both at the time of the breakup (assessed retrospectively) and at the time the questionnaire was completed. Four categories of variables were examined as possible correlates of post-breakup distress: variables associated with the initiation of the relationship, characteristics of the relationship while it was intact, conditions at the time of the breakup and individual difference variables. The sample consisted of 257 young adults (primarily college students; 83 male and 174 female) who had experienced a recent breakup (M = 21 weeks since breakup). The variables most highly associated with distress at the time of the breakup were non-mutuality in alternatives (i.e. partner having more inter-est in alternatives), commitment, satisfaction, greater effort in relationship initiation, being `left' by the other and fearful attachment style. The variables most highly associated with current distress were commitment, duration of the relationship, fearful attachment style, dismissing attachment style and time since breakup.
... He posited that the loss of the object (person) can lead to feelings of mourning, which in turn may trigger a reexperience of past separations and losses. However, some contemporary researchers (e.g., Dailey et al., 2020;Sprecher et al., 1998) have contended that both positive and negative emotions are common following breakup, though negative emotions tend to be stronger. Bowlby (1980) updated classic psychoanalytic ideas about loss through his development of attachment theory, contending that the intensity of mourning and the way it is processed are associated with internalized representations of early connections to significant others. ...
... Several studies have found a significant association between the length of a relationship and the degree of distress experienced at its termination (e.g., Bronfman et al., 2016;Field et al., 2009;Lantagne & Furman, 2017). Other studies have reported significant associations between two aspects of strong romantic connection-early commitment to maintaining the relationship and emotional closeness in the relationship-and the degree of distress experienced after the breakup (e.g., Fine & Sacher, 1997;Rhoades et al., 2011;Sprecher et al., 1998). Still other research has shown that post breakup distress is more acute (and adaptation more difficult) if one perceives that the partner is involved with someone else or if one is the recipient rather than the initiator of the breakup (e.g., Perrig-Chiello et al., 2015;Sprecher et al., 1998). ...
... Other studies have reported significant associations between two aspects of strong romantic connection-early commitment to maintaining the relationship and emotional closeness in the relationship-and the degree of distress experienced after the breakup (e.g., Fine & Sacher, 1997;Rhoades et al., 2011;Sprecher et al., 1998). Still other research has shown that post breakup distress is more acute (and adaptation more difficult) if one perceives that the partner is involved with someone else or if one is the recipient rather than the initiator of the breakup (e.g., Perrig-Chiello et al., 2015;Sprecher et al., 1998). ...
To investigate the perceptions of ex-romantic partners regarding the extent to which and ways in which psychotherapy facilitates coping with the consequences of the dissolution of past relationships, a multipart survey (Representations of Past Significant Others) that included Likert-type, multiple-choice, and open-ended questions about the ways in which individuals remember a past significant relationship and the ways in which they have moved toward closure from that relationship was disseminated via social media and networking. An attachment status measure (Experience in Close Relationship Scale–Short Form) was also administered. A total of 1,846 respondents, mean age 30.6 and predominantly White, heterosexual, female, and from the United States, completed the survey, 74.6% of whom attended psychotherapy post breakup. On average, respondents who engaged in therapy following their breakup found it to be moderately to very helpful; younger respondents, those in longer term relationships, and those with higher scores on the Experience in Close Relationship Scale–Short Form Anxiety subscale evaluated the helpfulness of therapy more highly. Multiple clinical interventions were perceived as helpful in coping with romantic breakups, including normalizing respondents’ feelings about their experience, encouraging them to be more aware of their feelings, encouraging them to move forward with their lives, reminding them of their strengths, exploring the story of the relationship and the breakup, and challenging their self-critical thoughts or feelings. Understanding who is best served by postbreakup therapy and the specific interventions, psychotherapeutic and otherwise, that move individuals toward closure may facilitate therapists’ efforts to help with this common source of client distress.
... La ruptura de una relación igualmente puede traer consigo un dolor propiamente físico. Pero no solo esto, sino que también una ruptura puede desencadenar la manifestación de trastornos mentales más graves (Kendler et al., 2003;Mearns, 1991;Sprecher et al., 1998;Tashiro & Frazier, 2003). Algunos individuos pueden recurrir al uso de drogas y alcohol como resultado de una ruptura (McKiernan et al., 2018). ...
... A pesar de las repercusiones dolorosas de una separación, también podrían surgir experiencias positivas (Sbarra & Emery, 2005). Algunos estudios indican que el fin de una relación puede estar relacionado con emociones positivas como la sensación de bienestar, crecimiento personal y un estado de ánimo positivo (Lewandowski & Bizzoco, 2007;Sprecher et al., 1998;Tashiro & Frazier, 2003). En un estudio de Carter et al. (2018), cerca del 50% de los participantes indicaron experimentar alivio y una mayor sensación de libertad después de su última ruptura, mientras que aproximadamente un tercio afirmó sentirse menos ansioso y más feliz. ...
... Estos resultados sugieren que las personas tienden a atribuirse a sí mismas el inicio de la ruptura para sentir que tienen un mayor control en este proceso. Hay estudios que indican que aquellos que asumen un rol activo en la ruptura presentan un mejor ajuste que aquellos con un rol pasivo, mientras que aquellas personas con un rol pasivo presentan mayores niveles de depresión y dolor (Davis et al., 2003;Field et al., 2010;Frazier & Cook, 1993;Sprecher, 1994;Sprecher et al.,1998). Las personas que tienen un rol activo a la hora de terminar la relación se ajustan mejor a la ruptura en comparación con aquellas con un rol pasivo (Field et al., 2010;Frazier & Cook, 1993) acumulando tristeza y pensamientos intrusivos (Perilloux & Buss, 2008). ...
Las rupturas sentimentales implican gran sufrimiento a nivel psicológico y emocional. Sin embargo, existen factores que permiten alcanzar un adecuado bienestar a los sujetos. El Modelo de Procesamiento Dual propone dos tipos de tareas (orientadas a la pérdida y a la restauración de la vida) que se deben realizar para afrontar una ruptura. Nuestro objetivo es analizar las diferencias en el uso de estas estrategias dependiendo del género de los individuos y de su rol en el inicio de la ruptura. Los resultados concluyen que las mujeres afrontan las rupturas a través de estrategias de restauración. Atendiendo al rol iniciador, cuando la ruptura se produce por decisión mutua, se emplean principalmente estrategias centradas en la pérdida.
... If a romantic relationship was longer in duration, if the couple coresided, or if they were married, the importance of the relationship as a personal resource in everyday life would likely have been stronger, and thus, adapting to relationship dissolution may prove to be more difficult. Accordingly, people can be expected to recover slower and experience more distress following the dissolution of a longer romantic relationship (Locker et al., 2010;Simpson, 1987;Sprecher et al., 1998). Consistent with this expectation, empirical evidence indicates that life satisfaction declined more strongly for unmarried cohabitating individuals than for unmarried individuals not living with their partners following relationship dissolution (Rhoades et al., 2011). ...
Research has long shown that men suffer more from romantic breakups than women. We predicted that men would on average be less inclined to initiate separation, decline with the separation more in well-being and increase more in loneliness, are less satisfied with singlehood, and desire a new partner more than women. We theorized that these gender differences in separation adaptation could be linked to men’s higher reliance on their partners for emotional support. Because socioemotional selectivity theory suggests that with age people shift toward more fulfilling social connections, we also expected men’s dependency on their partners for emotional support to be smaller in midlife than in young adulthood. To examine our hypotheses, we analyzed multiyear within-person longitudinal change data from 1,530 mostly unmarried participants from the annual German pairfam study who had experienced a relationship dissolution. We applied propensity score matching to compare separation-related changes in well-being and loneliness to case-matched controls who remained in a romantic relationship. Results showed that men relative to women were less likely to initiate separation, less satisfied with singlehood, and wished for a partner more. In contrast to our expectations, the gender differences observed did not differ by age, and no gender differences were found in separation-related changes in well-being and loneliness. Dissolution-related effects on well-being were only evident for marital relationships, while dissolution-related effects on loneliness were equally strong for marital and nonmarital dissolutions. Our study suggests that previous findings on gender-specific divorce-induced changes in well-being may not generalize to nonmarital dissolutions.
... • Romantic breakups Romantic relationships provide a strong source of attachment that deepens over time and leads to strong levels of intimacy (Hartup et al. 1999). Ending a relationship through a breakup can lead to heightened levels of depression and anxiety (Sprecher et al. 1998). As a replacement, individuals undergoing breakups may turn towards other close members of their social networks, friends, and family members to compensate for the lost relationship (Moller et al. 2003). ...
Individuals experiencing unexpected distressing events, shocks, often rely on their social network for support. While prior work has shown how social networks respond to shocks, these studies usually treat all ties equally, despite differences in the support provided by different social relationships. Here, we conduct a computational analysis on Twitter that examines how responses to online shocks differ by the relationship type of a user dyad. We introduce a new dataset of over 13K instances of individuals' self-reporting shock events on Twitter and construct networks of relationship-labeled dyadic interactions around these events. By examining behaviors across 110K replies to shocked users in a pseudo-causal analysis, we demonstrate relationship-specific patterns in response levels and topic shifts. We also show that while well-established social dimensions of closeness such as tie strength and structural embeddedness contribute to shock responsiveness, the degree of impact is highly dependent on relationship and shock types. Our findings indicate that social relationships contain highly distinctive characteristics in network interactions, and that relationship-specific behaviors in online shock responses are unique from those of offline settings.
... This research indicates that the characteristics surrounding romantic dissolutions vary considerably, and such characteristics help to explain variability in associated outcomes. Notably, studies implicate characteristics about the relationship dissolution itself, such as who initiated the break-up and how individuals emotionally respond, as significant sources of variability in subsequent functioning and well-being (Davis et al., 2003;Sbarra & Emery, 2005;Sprecher et al., 1998). ...
Few studies have evaluated best friendship dissolutions and especially the circumstances surrounding the dissolutions. In this exploratory study of young adolescents ( N = 273, M age = 11.83 years; 51% boys), we investigate young adolescents' experiences with two types of best friendship dissolution (complete dissolutions, downgrade dissolutions) and two characteristics of such experiences: initiation status (self‐ versus friend‐initiation) and emotional reactions (degree of happiness, anger, sadness, and embarrassment). We also consider whether these characteristics of best friendship dissolutions are related to psychological difficulties (loneliness, depressive symptoms). Results indicated that most young adolescents perceive their friends initiated their recent complete and downgrade dissolutions. When young adolescents did initiate their complete dissolutions, however, they reported less negative (anger) and more positive (happiness) emotional responses. Initiation status was not related to psychological difficulties, but variability in several types of emotional responses (e.g., embarrassment) was related to variability in loneliness and depressive symptoms. Findings underscore the importance of considering not only the type of dissolution, but also the circumstances surrounding dissolutions, during early adolescence.
... Divorce has also been shown to have major physical, psychological, and financial impacts on mothers and fathers, though these vary considerably across relationships, individuals, and cultures (Kołodziej-Zaleska & Przybyła-Basista, 2020;Perilloux & Buss, 2008;Sprecher et al., 1998). Separated parents frequently report a range of complex, strong, and often contradictory emotional responses. ...
Evolutionary social science is having a renaissance. This volume showcases the empirical and theoretical advancements produced by the evolutionary study of romantic relationships. The editors assembled an international collection of contributors to trace how evolved psychological mechanisms shape strategic computation and behavior across the life span of a romantic partnership. Each chapter provides an overview of historic and contemporary research on the psychological mechanisms and processes underlying the initiation, maintenance, and dissolution of romantic relationships. Contributors discuss popular and cutting-edge methods for data analysis and theory development, critically analyze the state of evolutionary relationship science, and provide discerning recommendations for future research. The handbook integrates a broad range of topics (e.g., partner preference and selection, competition and conflict, jealousy and mate guarding, parenting, partner loss and divorce, and post-relationship affiliation) that are discussed alongside major sources of strategic variation in mating behavior, such as sex and gender diversity, developmental life history, neuroendocrine processes, technological advancement, and culture. Its content promises to enrich students’ and established researchers’ views on the current state of the discipline and should challenge a diverse cross-section of relationship scholars and clinicians to incorporate evolutionary theorizing into their professional work.
... 1. Romantic breakups Romantic relationships provide a strong source of attachment that deepens over time and leads to strong levels of intimacy (Hartup et al. 1999). Ending a relationship through a breakup can lead to heightened levels of depression and anxiety (Sprecher et al. 1998). As a replacement, individuals undergoing breakups may turn towards other close members of their social networks, friends, and family members to compensate for the lost relationship (Moller et al. 2003). ...
Individuals experiencing unexpected distressing events, shocks, often rely on their social network for support. While prior work has shown how social networks respond to shocks, these studies usually treat all ties equally, despite differences in the support provided by different social relationships. Here, we conduct a computational analysis on Twitter that examines how responses to online shocks differ by the relationship type of a user dyad. We introduce a new dataset of over 13K instances of individuals' self-reporting shock events on Twitter and construct networks of relationship-labeled dyadic interactions around these events. By examining behaviors across 110K replies to shocked users in a pseudo-causal analysis, we demonstrate relationship-specific patterns in response levels and topic shifts. We also show that while well-established social dimensions of closeness such as tie strength and structural embeddedness contribute to shock responsiveness, the degree of impact is highly dependent on relationship and shock types. Our findings indicate that social relationships contain highly distinctive characteristics in network interactions and that relationship-specific behaviors in online shock responses are unique from those of offline settings.
... In this regard, Cavanaugh (2014) suggests that relationship reminders may backfire when consumers have experienced a breakup and no longer have the highlighted social relationship. This is because when people go through a relationship breakup, they experience negative emotional changes such as guilt, sorrow, and anger (Sprecher et al., 1998;Tashiro & Frazier, 2003). At the same time, when people experience a relationship breakup, they also hope to recapture the relationship they have lost (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). ...
This research investigates the effect of using relationship (breakup) reminders in advertising on click‐through rates. While previous research has found that relationship reminders may backfire when consumers lack or no longer have certain social relationships (e.g., close friends, family, or a romantic partner), the authors propose that ad messages encouraging consumers after a relationship breakup, as compared with simply reminding them of a current relationship, will increase consumer perceptions of social support from a brand. This is because consumers may find readily available social support from a brand when coping with a relationship breakup. This, in turn, will pique their interest in the brand and prompt them to seek more information. Across two experimental studies, the results show that consumers who are exposed to ad messages encouraging them after a relationship breakup (vs. reminding them of a current relationship) feel greater social support, leading to higher click‐through rates. Furthermore, this effect is moderated by destiny beliefs. These findings contribute to the implicit theories of relationships and the consumer–brand relationship literature by demonstrating how destiny beliefs are important to understanding consumer responses to advertisements utilizing relationship (breakup) messages. Furthermore, the findings can benefit marketers when designing relationship reminders in online advertising.
This study examines gender differences in the degree to which men’s and women’s views of their relationship predict eventual dissolution among mixed-gender couples. We analyzed data from a national sample of 314 unmarried mixed-gender couples from the United States that were surveyed across four years to test gender differences in associations between baseline levels of perceived likelihood of breaking up, relationship satisfaction, commitment, and love and relationship dissolution across one, two, three, and four years. Probit regression models revealed women’s greater perceived likelihood of breakup was a stronger predictor of relationship dissolution two years later than their male partner’s reports, but men’s and women’s perceived likelihood of breakup did not differ in the strength of predicting dissolution across one-, three-, and four-year follow-up. Women’s low commitment emerged as a significantly stronger predictor of relationship dissolution across two, three, and four years than their male partner’s commitment (but not at one year). Women’s and men’s relationship satisfaction and love did not differ in predicting dissolution across all time intervals; those less satisfied with their relationship and with less love for their partner were more likely to dissolve their relationship. Although commitment may be an area where women’s reports take primacy in predicting future breakup among adult unmarried mixed-gender couples, the results add to a growing body of literature finding that women’s and men’s views of their partnership are similarly diagnostic of future relationship outcomes.
Building on the extant research, the current work outlines a comprehensive model of post-dissolution distress (CMPDD). The model integrates the previous research and includes both distal (static; e.g., controllability of breakup, relational anxiety) and proximal (dynamic; e.g., desiring reconciliation, coping, quality of alternatives) factors in predicting both initial distress and change in distress over time. Potential mediating mechanisms are also proposed. We conclude with a discussion of several ways the model could be potentially refined with empirical research to generate a more specific and parsimonious theory of PDD. Ultimately, testing and refining the model will provide insights on identifying those who will be more distressed following a breakup and highlight the factors that could be altered (e.g., contact with the partners, coping strategies) to best alleviate distress.
A new 4-group model of attachment styles in adulthood is proposed. Four prototypic attachment patterns are defined using combinations of a person's self-image (positive or negative) and image of others (positive or negative). In Study 1, an interview was developed to yield continuous and categorical ratings of the 4 attachment styles. Intercorrelations of the attachment ratings were consistent with the proposed model. Attachment ratings were validated by self-report measures of self-concept and interpersonal functioning. Each style was associated with a distinct profile of interpersonal problems, according to both self- and friend-reports. In Study 2, attachment styles within the family of origin and with peers were assessed independently. Results of Study 1 were replicated. The proposed model was shown to be applicable to representations of family relations; Ss' attachment styles with peers were correlated with family attachment ratings.
This study examines the association between adult attachment style and the way people reacted to the Iraqi missile attack on Israel during the Gulf War. One hundred forty Israeli students were interviewed 2 weeks after the war and classified according to their attachment style (secure, avoidant, or ambivalent) and residence area (dangerous vs. less dangerous). Ambivalent people reported more distress than secure people. Avoidant persons reported higher levels of somatization, hostility, and trauma-related avoidance than secure persons. These results characterized Ss living in dangerous areas. In addition, secure people used relatively more support-seeking strategies in coping with the trauma, ambivalent people used more emotion-focused strategies, and avoidant people used more distancing strategies. Findings are discussed in terms of attachment working models.
Used a longitudinal study of heterosexual dating relationships to test investment model predictions regarding the process by which satisfaction and commitment develop (or deteriorate) over time. Initially, 17 male and 17 female undergraduates, each of whom was involved in a heterosexual relationship of 0-8 wks duration, participated. Four Ss dropped out, and 10 Ss' relationships ended. Questionnaires were completed by Ss every 17 days. Increases over time in rewards led to corresponding increases in satisfaction, whereas variations in costs did not significantly affect satisfaction. Commitment increased because of increases in satisfaction, declines in the quality of available alternatives, and increases in investment size. Greater rewards also promoted increases in commitment to maintain relationships, whereas changes in costs generally had no impact on commitment. For stayers, rewards increased, costs rose slightly, satisfaction grew, alternative quality declined, investment size increased, and commitment grew; for leavers the reverse occurred. Ss whose partners ended their relationships evidenced entrapment: They showed relatively low increases in satisfaction, but their alternatives declined in quality and they continued to invest heavily in their relationships. (39 ref) (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2006 APA, all rights reserved).
This research investigates the extent to which a quality that initially attracts one person to another in a romantic relationship is a positive dimension of the same overall characteristic that leads to subsequent disaffection - i.e. a `fatal attraction'. Three hundred and one college women and men were asked to think of the most recent romantic relationship they had that ended, and to list qualities that first attracted them to that partner and characteristics they later `least liked' about that partner. Results indicate that there were approximately 88 instances (in 29.2% of the breakups) of what appeared to be `fatal attractions'. Certain types of characteristics, such as exciting and different, were also more likely to be `fatal' than others. Additional findings point to sex differences in attracting qualities, with, for example, males reporting significantly more qualities than females in the Physical category. Implications of the results for dialectical relationship theories are discussed.
The purpose of this study was to examine correlates of initial distress and current recovery among individuals who have experienced the breakup of a dating relationship, including factors associated with commitment to the relationship (i.e. satisfaction, duration, closeness, perceived alternatives) and factors associated with coping with life stressors (i.e. perceptions of the controllability of the breakup, social support and self-esteem). Participants were 34 males and 51 females who had experienced the breakup of a dating relationship within the past 6 months. Hierarchical regression analyses indicated that these variables accounted for between 21 and 47 percent of the variance in the measures of initial distress and current recovery. The coping-related variables added significantly to the prediction of initial distress and current recovery once the commitment-related variables were taken into account, but were more strongly related to recovery than to initial distress. Implications for research and practice are discussed.
This study examines the association between adult attachment style and the way people react to the crisis of divorce. A research group of 120 participants undergoing legal procedures related to divorce and a control group of 108 married participants were classified according to their attachment style (secure, avoidant, anxious-ambivalent) and completed the Mental Health Inventory. In addition, the divorced participants answered scales tapping appraisal of divorce and ways of coping with it. As expected, divorced participants reported more distress than married ones. This effect was found among avoidant and anxious-ambivalent participants, but not among secure participants. Significant differences were also found among attachment groups in appraisal and coping variables. Structural analyses supported the hypothesis that appraisal and coping mediate the association between attachment style and mental health during the crisis of divorce. Results are discussed in terms of attachment theory.
The language of disengagement says a great deal about the couple using it. The content of accusations, complaints, pleadings, justifications, and confessions reflect the unique relationship experiences of the partners who speak them. This does not mean, however, that the language of disengagement is without pattern. Because messages must conform to cultural, social, and linguistic constraints, commonality in their structure and function can be discerned across breakups. Moreover, variations in pattern are systematic and can be traced to the influence of antecedent and concomitant variables. In short, the messages that people produce during the very personal moments of their disengagement are amenable to investigation as sociological phenomena.
This study examined the extent to which variables derived from the investment model predicted distress levels following relationship termination. At least one partner in 28 heterosexual dating couples completed measures of commitment, relationship satisfaction, alternative quality, and relationship duration at Time 1 and, six months later, after their relationships had broken up, a measure of distress. For both males and females, higher levels of distress were predicted by higher Time 1 levels of commitment and lower levels of alternative quality. These findings suggest that distress following relaticnship termination is greater to the extent that partners are invested in the relationship.
The purpose of this study was to determine the factors affecting the likelihood that a disengaged romantic relationship will be redefined as a friendship rather than completely terminated. College students were surveyed about a recalled romantic relationship that either broke up or evolved into a friendship. Respondents answered questions regarding characteristics of the relationship prior to its decline, strategies used to disengage the relationship, and feelings during the disengaging period. Results indicated that being friends prior to romantic involvement was a significant predictor of friendship, both for people who initiated the disengagement and for those who were recipients of partner's desire for disengagement. In addition, for those who initiated disengagement, withdrawal strategies and feelings of being taken advantage of in the relationship were negatively related to post-disengagement friendship. For persons who were recipients of partner's desire for disengagement, positive tone strategies were positively related to post-disengagement friendship while manipulation strategies were negatively related to post-disengagement friendship.
Recent years have witnessed a proliferation of research on close relationships and the emergence of a new relationship subdiscipline within the social sciences. To date, the new science of relationships has been dominated by data. This article is based on the conviction that progress now hinges on the development of theory to organize and interpret extant findings and to guide future investigations. Through a selective but extensive review of the major bodies of empirical literature, we attempt to show that attachment theory can incorporate a broad range of findings on adult relationships. In addition, attachment theory addresses an impressive array of research questions concerning the functions, emotional dynamics, evolutionary origins, and developmental pathways of human affectional bonds. We conclude that a comprehensive theory of close relationships is both desirable and, with the integration of existing theories and concepts, currently achievable.