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Journal of Family Issues
http://jfi.sagepub.com/content/28/12/1639
The online version of this article can be found at:
DOI: 10.1177/0192513X07302726
2007 28: 1639 originally published online 6 July 2007Journal of Family Issues
Dellmann-Jenkins
Colleen J. O'Malley, Maureen Blankemeyer, Kathleen K. Walker and Mary
Children's Reported Communication With Their Parents About War
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Children’s Reported
Communication With
Their Parents About War
Colleen J. O’Malley
Beech Brook, Cleveland, OH
Maureen Blankemeyer
Kathleen K. Walker
Mary Dellmann-Jenkins
Kent State University, OH
There is increased interest by parents in communicating with their children
about political violence. However, limited attention in the scholarly literature
has focused on parent–child communication about war and terrorism. In
response, the purpose of this study is to assess, within their respective ecolog-
ical contexts, American and Northern Irish children’s (n = 97) reported com-
munication with their parents about war. The results provide support for the
presence of developmental differences, with age being a stronger predictor than
gender and country in the frequency and content of parent–child discussions
about war. Children ages 7 to 11 are more likely than younger children to report
talking to their parents about war, and they address more topics than do the
younger children in their reports of what their parents said about war. The con-
tents of the children’s reported conversations with their parents are discussed,
as are implications for parents, parenting educators, and researchers.
Keywords: children; communication; war; terrorism; parent–child
T
he present military intervention in Iraq and terrorist attacks targeting
Britain and the United States have exposed children of these countries to
increased levels of military activity and political violence. Daily coverage of
global attacks and the Iraq War through many media formats has greatly
increased the likelihood of children being exposed to these images. Therefore,
there is a growing interest by parents in communicating with their children
Journal of Family Issues
Volume 28 Number 12
December 2007 1639-1662
© 2007 Sage Publications
10.1177/0192513X07302726
http://jfi.sagepub.com
hosted at
http://online.sagepub.com
1639
Authors’ Note: Please address correspondence to Maureen Blankemeyer, School of Family
and Consumer Studies, Kent State University, 100 Nixson Hall, Kent, OH 44242-0001; e-mail:
mblankem@kent.edu.
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about the political violence. This increased interest is demonstrated by the
numerous Web sites devoted to helping parents talk to their children about war
and terrorism (e.g., Myers-Walls, 2003, www.ces.purdue.edu/ter rorism; White,
2003, www.med.umich.edu/opm/newspage/2003/kidswartalk .htm). The Web
sites typically offer suggestions for how to discuss these issues in a develop-
mentally appropriate manner. For example, parents are advised that politi-
cally violent situations may result in young children being concerned
primarily about their own safety, yet older children may be more inclined to
inquire about the war-related deaths (How to Talk, n.d.).
The current interest in talking to children about war as well as the pre-
sent international tensions make this an opportune time to assess children’s
reported discussions with their parents about war. To date, very limited
attention in the scholarly literature has been directed to parent–child com-
munication about war. Although a few researchers (Myers-Walls, Myers-
Bowman, & Pelo, 1993) have addressed this timely topic, their focus was
solely on parents’ reports of communication with their children about war.
Information on what children retain from their conversations with parents is
quite scarce. Moreover, whereas parent-oriented Web sites address develop-
mentally appropriate discussions about war, there is a dearth in the scholarly
literature on the topic of parents’ war-related conversations with children of
different ages.
Therefore, the present study had two main goals: first, to interview children,
ages 3 through 11, and elicit their responses to two timely questions: (a) “Have
you ever talked with your parents about war?” and (b) “If so, what did they
say?” A second objective was to examine within an ecological framework
whether selected microlevel influences (i.e., age and gender) have an impact on
children’s reports of conversations with their parents about war. Furthermore,
the shared experience of the War in Iraq provided a unique opportunity to
examine differences in children’s responses that may be related to the respec-
tive macrolevel contexts of Northern Ireland and the United States, specifically
their histories of political violence.
Review of Literature
The Effects of War on Children
Research on the effects of war on children suggests that in general children
are negatively affected by politically violent situations and often experience
psychological disruption (Dyregrov, Kuterovac, & Barath, 1996; Stein, Comer,
Gardner, & Kelleher, 1999), behavioral problems (Ronen, Rahav, & Rosenbaum,
1640 Journal of Family Issues
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2003), and depression (Smith, Perrin, Yule, & Rabe-Hesketh, 2001). The
effects of war differ by children’s gender. Ronen et al.’s (2003) study of
Israeli children’s reactions to the first Gulf War revealed that girls had higher
anxiety scores during the war and showed a larger increase than boys in
behavioral problems from prewar to during-war. In Dyregrov et al.’s (1996)
study of children in Croatia, Bosnia, and Herzegovina, girls reported a higher
degree of avoidance of war-related thoughts and intrusive thoughts than
boys did. Stein et al. (1999) found gender differences among 5- to 12-year-
old children residing in a Bosnian refugee center. The boys had higher levels
of anxiety, hyperarousal, and intrusive thoughts at Time 1, whereas girls
demonstrated higher levels than boys of depressive symptoms and emotional
numbing at Time 2. Similarly, in Joseph, Cairns, and McCollam’s (1993)
study of the effects of political violence on 11-year-old Northern Irish children,
girls recorded significantly higher depression scores than boys. Overall, the
research suggests that girls experience more negative outcomes than boys
from political violence.
Although several researchers have assessed the role of children’s gender,
relatively few have examined how age affects the effects of war on children.
Furthermore, the findings of these studies are inconsistent. In Dyregrov et al.’s
(1996) research with 7- to 14-year-olds, older children reported more war-
related psychological symptoms than younger children. In contrast, Ronen
et al. (2003) reported no significant age differences in behavior, anxiety,
and war-related stress among 8-, 12-, and 16-year-old Israelis before and
during the first Gulf War.
In addition to the influence of the microlevel factors of gender and age, a
macrolevel factor, children’s level of exposure to political violence, also has
been found to be related to their psychological well-being. These findings,
however, are inconsistent. Dyregrov et al. (1996) reported that children in
war zones who experienced more traumatic stressors also reported more
intrusive thoughts than children who had been exposed to fewer war stres-
sors. However, Joseph et al. (1993) concluded from their study of Northern
Irish children that exposure to violence does not have an effect on children’s
level of depression.
Children’s Conceptions of Political Violence
Whereas most of the research on children and war centers on the effects
of war and other political violence, several researchers have examined
children’s conceptions of war. Hakvoort and Oppenheimer (1993) reported
gender differences in Dutch youths’ conceptions of war. Girls were more
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1641
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likely to define war in terms of quarrels between friends, whereas boys more
often mentioned weapons and soldiers when discussing war. McLernon and
Cairns (2001) reported significant gender differences in English and Northern
Irish 6- to 7-year-olds’ drawings of war. Boys were more likely than girls to
use multiple images to depict war, and 96% of boys but only 86% of girls
depicted images of weapons and soldiers in their drawings.
Although gender has been explored in several studies about children’s
attitudes and conceptions of war, a less frequently examined microlevel vari-
able is children’s age. Rodd’s (1985) study of Australian children indicated
that even preschoolers had a general understanding of war, viewing war as
bad. Hakvoort and Oppenheimer (1993) assessed developmental differences
in 8- to 16-year-olds’ conceptions of peace and war. The children’s knowl-
edge about war preceded their knowledge about peace. All children under-
stood war by age 8, yet it was not until age 10 that they all understood peace.
When asked to describe war, responses across all ages were mostly associ-
ated with war activities, weapons, and soldiers. However, age effects were
found in the children’s knowledge of actual wars. The youngest children
reported having heard about war but were unable to recall recent or past con-
flicts. Instead, their descriptions of war emphasized everyday situations such
as arguments or quarrels between people.
As discussed previously, a macrolevel variable, level of exposure to polit-
ical violence, may affect children’s psychological well-being; however, this
exposure may not be as influential on children’s conceptions of war.
Oftentimes, children’s level of exposure to political violence and where
they reside are interrelated, as is the case of Northern Ireland. McLernon
and Cairns (2001) examined the effects of exposure to political violence in
Northern Irish and English 6- and 7-year-olds. The children’s drawings of
war indicated no significant differences in their use of concrete images of war
(soldiers, guns, armored cars) when comparing across the groups of children
from areas of high and low levels of political violence and an area with no
presence of political violence.
Parents, Children, and War
In the few studies of parents, children, and war, very little attention has
been given to the content of children’s conversations with their parents about
war and other political violence. The only published study specifically
acknowledging this concern was conducted by Myers-Walls et al. (1993).
These researchers used a semistructured interview to examine parents’
reported hypothetical communication with their children about war and
1642 Journal of Family Issues
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peace. One of their questions directly relating to the present study was, “If
your child came to you tonight and asked, ‘What is war?’ what would you
say?” Several themes in parents’ responses were identified, including agent
of war (i.e., who was in control of war) and judgment (e.g., parents’ evalua-
tive statements, such as “We don’t like fighting.”), among other themes. The
results of their study also revealed differences in parents’ reported commu-
nication about war with their children based on the children’s gender. For
example, although parents reported they would speak to both sons and
daughters about justice issues of war and causes of war, they mentioned
these themes more so for their daughters than their sons.
Developmental Influences on
Parent–Child Communication About War
When addressing parent–child communication about war, it is important
to consider children’s level of cognitive development. According to Piaget,
a child’s cognitive abilities progress as the child develops (Ginsberg &
Opper, 1969). These cognitive changes likely affect parent–child communi-
cation about war. Children ages 2 to 6 are often confused about causal rela-
tionships (Ginsberg & Opper, 1969). This may contribute to why parents are
less likely to use reasoning and explanations with younger children than
older children (Maccoby, 1980). Therefore, parents, aware of the fact that
their young child may not comprehend causal explanations, may not include
them in their war-related conversations. Memory is another cognitive factor
in which developmental differences may affect parent–child communication
about war. Older children have greater capacities for memory than younger
children (Schneider & Pressley, 1997); therefore, they may remember more
of what their parents shared with them during conversations about war.
Children’s abilities to communicate also become more advanced as they
develop. Older children have more extensive vocabularies than younger
children (Anglin, 1993), allowing them to engage in more lengthy and com-
plex discussions.
Clearly, children’s level of development plays a fundamental role in their
communication with their parents. This point is acknowledged in the numer-
ous Web sites that guide parents in how to talk to their children about war in
an age-appropriate manner. This point also is addressed in the scholarly lit-
erature on parent–child communication about other sensitive topics, such as
death (e.g., Goldman, 2004; Willis, 2002). For example, parents are advised
that because 3- to 6-year-olds are egocentric and prone to magical thinking,
it is important for parents to use very concrete language when describing
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1643
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death to a child that young (Willis, 2002). However, no prior studies have
examined age differences in parent–child communication about war.
Conceptual Framework
This investigation was guided by Bronfenbrenner’s (1979) ecological
systems model. Bronfenbrenner suggested that development occurs within
the complex and reciprocal interactions between an individual and the mul-
tiple levels of his or her environment. These multiple levels of influence help
explain the previous research findings regarding children’s understanding of
war and the impact of war on children. At the level closest to the child (i.e.,
the microsystem), gender and age play a role. As highlighted in our literature
review, prior research suggests that children are often negatively affected by
politically violent situations, with girls tending to be more vulnerable than
boys. In addition to gender, children’s age also appears to play a role in child
outcomes, particularly in their understanding of war. In the most removed
level from the child’s direct experience (i.e., the macrosystem), researchers
have found that country/level of exposure to political violence also may con-
tribute to his or her psychological well-being but may not as clearly affect
his or her understanding of war.
Present Investigation
Thus, Bronfenbrenner’s ecological systems model is a highly appropriate
framework for examining these same levels of influence on children’s
reported communication with their parents about war. Optimally, the find-
ings generalized from this study will provide further insight in understand-
ing both micro- and macrolevel contextual influences on children’s reported
communication with their parents about peace and war. Prior research has
investigated parent–child communication about war but focused only on
parents’ reports (Myers-Walls et al., 1993). Thus, the present study con-
tributes to the literature in that children served as the respondents. To exam-
ine the macrolevel effect of country/level of exposure to political violence
on children’s reports of communication about war, we interviewed American
and Northern Irish children. Additionally, we explored potential differences
between young (ages 3 to 6) and school-age (ages 7 to 11) children’s reports
of communication with their parents about war. Most researchers studying
children and war have focused primarily on school-age children (e.g., 8- to
11-year-olds) and adolescents. Because children have different communication
1644 Journal of Family Issues
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abilities at different developmental stages (Papalia, Olds, & Feldman, 2004),
it is important to include the previously overlooked younger children when
examining parent–child communication about war. Furthermore, even though
numerous Web sites encourage parents to talk to their children about war
and terrorism in age-appropriate ways, there is a scarcity in the scholarly
literature that addresses parent–child discussions about war from a devel-
opmental perspective. Last, we explored whether children’s reports of com-
munication with their parents about war are related to their gender. To that
end, this study was guided by three hypotheses:
Hypothesis 1: Girls will be more likely than boys to report talking to their
parents about war.
Because girls appear to be more negatively affected than boys by political
violence, they may be more likely to talk to their parents about their concerns.
Hypothesis 2: Older children (7- to 11-year-olds) will be more likely than younger
children (3- to 6-year-olds) to report talking to their parents about war.
Children ages 7 to 11 have a more mature level of cognitive functioning than
3- to 6-year-olds (Papalia et al., 2004). For example, children typically do
not understand the concept of war until age 8 (Hakvoort & Oppenheimer,
1993). Because younger children are less likely to have an understanding of
war and their memories (Schneider & Pressley, 1997) and verbal capacities
(Anglin, 1993) are less extensive than those of older children, it was hypoth-
esized that they would be less likely than older children to report participat-
ing in discussions with their parents about war.
Hypothesis 3: American children will be more likely than the Northern Irish
to report talking to their parents about war.
Because of the differing sociopolitical contexts of the United States and
Northern Ireland (discussed later), it was reasoned that American children,
who have been more removed from political violence than the Northern
Irish, would be more apt to respond to the war in Iraq and recent terrorist
attacks by talking about these events with their parents. That is, these acts
of political violence were novel to the American children. The Northern
Irish children, on the other hand, have lived in close proximity to political
violence their entire lives, and thus, an awareness of political violence has
been a part of their daily existence. Many parents living amid political con-
flict avoid discussing the conflict because they had been pushed beyond
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1645
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their limits to be able to offer solace to their children (Loar, 2004). They may
be psychologically unavailable to provide comfort to their children
(Garbarino & Kostelny, 1996). In other cases, parents have chosen silence as
a coping mechanism, as one Israeli parent living in the West Bank stated:
“. . . we try not to talk about terrorist incidents. We try to stick to daily life
and tasks . . .” (Shamai, 2001, p. 257). Northern Ireland, in particular, is
noted for its context of silence about its political violence (Healey, 2004).
Stewart and Thomson (2005) wrote, “Silence has been another powerful sur-
vival tool [in Northern Ireland], often compounding the sense of fear” (p. 109).
Earlier work by Cairns and Wilson (1984, 1989) likewise suggested that the
Northern Irish have coped with the political conflict through the widespread
use of denial.
Method
The current investigation is part of a larger, multinational study of
children’s understanding of war, peace, and related concepts (e.g., terrorism,
enemies, specific events of political violence). Both children and parents
participated in the United States, Northern Ireland, and Israel beginning in
April 2003 and continuing through August 2004. For the present study, only
those responses from children in Northern Ireland and the United States
were considered. At the time of this writing, data from Israel were still being
translated and transcribed. The selected questions for the present analyses
were chosen specifically to fill a gap in the literature on children’s reported
communication with their parents about war.
Participants
Ninety-seven children took part in the current study. These participants
consisted of 47 American children ages 3 to 11 (M = 7.28) and 50 Northern
Irish children ages 4 to 11 (M = 7.08). There was no difference between the
two groups’ mean ages. Among the American children, 24 were boys and 23
were girls, and 21 boys and 29 girls represented Northern Ireland. Table 1
depicts the number of girls and boys in each age group by country.
The American children participating in this research were recruited from
the following in a Midwestern state: churches, an after-school program, a uni-
versity’s faculty and staff listserv, and personal contacts. The majority of
these children were European American. Their parents who also participated
in the study reported education levels ranging from the completion of high
school to the completion of a graduate education. A few participating parents
1646 Journal of Family Issues
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indicated they were or had been involved in peace organizations; a few had
been in the military. Most did not fall into either of these groups.
The Northern Irish children were recruited from schools, Boys and Girls
Brigades (Christian uniformed youth organizations similar to Boy Scouts
and Girl Scouts), local public libraries, church youth clubs, and personal
contacts from a predominantly Protestant community and the site of at
least a few sectarian-related attacks during the time of the interviews. The
children were Caucasian, and their parents reported education levels rang-
ing from the completion of high school to the completion of a graduate edu-
cation. Half of the participating parents reported that their children knew
people (mostly relatives) who were directly involved in political conflict,
and about one fourth of the parents reported having been in the military.
Because the sociopolitical contexts of the two groups of children were
expected to affect the findings, a brief description of each follows.
United States
A look at contemporary history suggests that the United States is a country
characterized as one of “military interventionism” (Covell, 1999). Many of
the American-led military engagements within the past 25 years have taken
place in countries outside of U.S. borders and were dealt with quickly and
successfully (e.g., Grenada, Libya, Panama, and the first Gulf War). More
recently, however, Americans have witnessed terrorist attacks on their own
soil. The September 11, 2001, attacks claimed nearly 3,000 lives. Beginning
in March 2003, the U.S. military led an intervention against Iraq. With the
exception of the soldiers and their loved ones, who have been directly
affected, most Americans have been indirectly affected by the war in Iraq
because the conflict is not occurring within the United States. Nonetheless,
media coverage has brought continual awareness of the war into the homes
of the American people.
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1647
Table 1
Age, Gender, and Country of Participants
Americans (n = 47) Northern Irish (n = 50)
Age Group Boys Girls Boys Girls
3- to 6-year-olds 10 8 7 14
7- to 11-year-olds 14 15 14 15
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Northern Ireland
Northern Ireland’s sociopolitical history and current climate are markedly
different from that of the United States. Northern Ireland aligned with the
coalition forces that sent troops to Iraq in 2003. However, their common
mission in Iraq may be where the similarities end for the Americans and
Northern Irish. Unlike the United States, Northern Ireland has been belea-
guered with a deep history of internal political conflict. This struggle (which
began anywhere from 85 to 800 years ago, depending on one’s perspective)
is between individuals who wish to see Northern Ireland remain a part of the
United Kingdom and those who desire for the country to be united as the
island of Ireland. The most recent conflict began in the 1960s and involved
continual violence between opposing paramilitary groups, resulting in approx-
imately 3,500 deaths (Daly, 1999). On April 9, 1998, the Good Friday Peace
Agreement was signed. The agreement has marked a significant decrease,
although not a lack of political violence in Northern Ireland. Because of the
longevity of the Northern Ireland conflict, it gives researchers the opportunity
to compare it with countries that face war as an event, having a beginning and
an end (Cairns, Wilson, Gallagher, & Trew, 1995).
In short, the United States’ contemporary conflicts for the most part have
occurred within other countries’ borders, whereas the political violence of
Northern Ireland occurred among citizens who often lived within close prox-
imity to one another. Another difference is that prior to the war in Iraq, con-
temporary American conflicts were generally quick and successful, unlike
the ongoing, decades-long violence that has characterized the conflict in
Northern Ireland. Therefore, although both the United States and Northern
Ireland are allies in the War in Iraq, they have very different sociopolitical
contexts.
Procedures and Measures
The data were collected in Northern Ireland and the United States during
the British and American military intervention in Iraq. Each child was inter-
viewed by a trained researcher in the child’s home, school, a university cam-
pus, or any other place the parents requested (e.g., library). The children were
individually interviewed, and the interviews were audiotaped. Interviewers
took notes during the taped sessions and later transcribed the audiotapes ver-
batim. The entire interview with each child lasted from 15 to 150 minutes.
The survey used to interview the children was adapted from Myers-Bowman
and Myers-Walls’s (2002) semistructured survey. For the present study,
children’s responses to only the following two questions were examined:
1648 Journal of Family Issues
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(a) “Have you ever talked to your parents about war?” and (b) “If so, what did
they say?”
We employed an interview approach that was sensitive to the nature of
young children’s emerging recall skills. The decision that the first question
was age appropriate was based on research indicating that 3- to 5-year-olds
have a general understanding of the concept of war (Rodd, 1985) and can pro-
vide coherent recollections of their daily events, such as conversations with
parents, and other prior experiences (Fivush, 1998; Goodman, Rudy,
Bottoms, & Aman, 1990). As Fivush states, “there is general consensus in the
field that free recall, even in quite young children, is very accurate” (p. 700).
It is important to note that we did not ask the second question to children
whose responses, or lack of responses, to the first question suggested that
they did not understand the concept of war and/or recall such conversations
with their parents. This decision is consistent with prior research indicating
that when young children are unable to respond to a question and the inter-
viewer asks additional, more detailed and probing questions, their attempts
often lead to children providing inaccurate responses (Ceci & Bruck, 1998).
Data Analysis and Coding
Chi-square analyses were performed to test the three hypotheses guiding
this research. The interview question, “Have you ever talked to your parents
about war?” was one variable for each analysis. The other variable was child
gender, age group, and country when testing Hypotheses 1, 2, and 3, respec-
tively. Additionally, a t test was conducted with age group as the indepen-
dent variable (3 to 6 years old or 7 to 11 years old) and the number of
categories (described later) addressed in children’s responses to “What did
they say [about war]?” as the dependent variable. This analysis was conducted
to explore developmental differences in the complexity of the children’s
responses to what their parents had told them about war.
The analysis of our qualitative data consisted of a multiple-step process.
First, after the audiotaped interviews were transcribed, the primary investi-
gator reviewed the content of each child’s response to the question, “What
did they say?” (in reference to what the children’s parents told them about
war). Each response was then labeled according to the categories described
below. The categories were adapted from Hakvoort and Oppenheimer’s
(1993) and McLernon’s (1998) coding systems. Category 0, missing/don’t
know, refers to when the children did not give a straightforward answer or
responded “I don’t know.” Category 1, weapons/soldiers, is in reference to
when the children used words such as enemy, bombs, and army. Category 2,
war activities, includes responses directed toward activities such as shooting,
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1649
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killing, and destroying. Category 3, human aspects of war, encompasses
responses given in reference to not trusting each other and having no kind-
ness. Category 4, negative consequences of war, was used for children’s
reports about people dying, houses being destroyed, blood, and people being
impoverished. Category 5, positive consequences of war, includes descrip-
tions of people protesting war or statements that after war there will be peace.
Category 6, global conflict, is in reference to a conflict or quarrel between
two countries or their leaders and both leaders wanting power. Category 7,
qualitative evaluation of war, refers to explanations or judgments, descrip-
tions of innocent people being punished or killed, killing people to serve jus-
tice, or anger because others attacked their country. Category 8, personal
experiences, includes children’s references to being part of a political conflict
or knowing someone that participated in war or the military. Children’s
answers could fit into more than one category.
After all responses were coded, a second step in the qualitative analysis
occurred when the primary investigator trained two independent raters on the
coding system by describing each category and providing several examples
of children’s responses that fit into each of those categories. Third, once the
training was concluded, the two raters independently categorized a random
selection of 10% of the children’s responses. The assessment of interrater
reliability was the fourth step. Cohen’s Kappa was .87 for the first rater and
.70 for the second rater. Both interrater reliability coefficients are within the
acceptable range (Cohen, 1960). Finally, our fifth step included the identifi-
cation of specific children’s quotes to exemplify the relevant categories.
Given the brevity of the children’s responses, further in-depth qualitative
analysis was not warranted.
Results
Hypothesis 1: Girls Will Be More Likely Than
Boys to Report Talking to Their Parents About War
The results of the chi-square test did not support this hypothesis, X
2
(1) =
1.38,p = .24. Follow-up analyses revealed no gender differences in parent-
child communication about war within the 3- to 6-year-old age group, X
2
(1) =
1.40, p = .24, nor within the 7- to 11-year-old age group, X
2
(1) = .26, p = .61.
The American children, X
2
(1) = 1.42, p = .23, and Northern Irish children,
X
2
(1) = .74, p = .39, were examined separately for gender differences, with
the results not being significant.
1650 Journal of Family Issues
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Hypothesis 2: Older Children (7- to 11-Year-Olds)
Will Be More Likely Than Younger Children (3- to
6-Year-Olds) to Report Talking to Their Parents About War
The results of the chi-square analysis were significant and supported the
hypothesis, X
2
(1) = 5.22, p = .02. Only one fifth of the younger group
responded that they had talked to their parents about war (20.5%) compared
to more than half of the older group (53.4%). Table 2 presents the distribu-
tion by age group of the children’s reports of talking to their parents about
war. Examination of this hypothesis was extended further by assessing age
group differences for boys and girls separately. A chi-square analysis revealed
significant findings among the boys, X
2
(1) = 4.19, p = .04, but not the girls,
X
2
(1) = 1.20, p = .27. For the boys, the results were consistent with the sec-
ond hypothesis; 7- to 11-year-old boys were more likely than 3- to 6-year-old
boys to report talking to their parents about war. Table 3 presents the distrib-
ution by age group of the boys’ reports of talking to their parents about war.
Chi-square analyses also were performed to assess age group differences in
parent–child communication about war for the American and Northern Irish
children separately. The results for the American children supported the sec-
ond hypothesis; the 7- to 11-year-olds were significantly more likely than the
younger children to report talking to their parents about war, X
2
(1) = 5.60,p =
.02. However, there were no significant age group differences for the Northern
Irish children, X
2
(1) = .66, p = .42. Table 4 presents the significant findings.
Hypothesis 3: American Children
Will Be More Likely Than Northern Irish
Children to Report Talking to Their Parents About War
This hypothesis was not supported, X
2
(1) = 2.45, p = .12. Additional
analyses indicated that neither girls’, X
2
(1) = 2.06, p = .15, nor boys’, X
2
(1) =
1.15, p = .28, country was related to if they talked to their parents about war.
Subsequent analyses within each age group revealed no significant differ-
ences by country for the 3- to 6-year-olds, X
2
(1) = .07, p = .79, nor the 7- to
11-year-olds, X
2
(1) = 3.40, p = .07.
Categories Addressed in Reported
Parent–Child Conversations About War
Thirty-eight children were asked and answered the question, “What did
your parents say [about war]?” Children who earlier reported that they had
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1651
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1652 Journal of Family Issues
Table 2
Children’s Reported Communication With Their
Parents About War by Age Group
Talked to Parents About War
Yes No
Age Group n % n %
3- to 6-year-olds (n = 39) 8 20.5 21 53.8
7- to 11-year-olds (n = 58) 31 53.4 27 46.6
Note: Many of the younger children did not respond to this question or were not asked the
question because of their lack of understanding of war, as demonstrated in their answers to
previous interview questions.
Table 3
Boys’ Reported Communication With Their
Parents About War by Age Group
Talked to Parents About War
Yes No
Age Group n % n %
3- to 6-year-olds (n = 17) 3 17.6 13 76.5
7- to 11-year-olds (n = 28) 14 50 14 50
Table 4
Americans’ Reported Communication With Their
Parents About War by Age Group
Talked to Parents About War
Yes No
Age Group N % n %
3- to 6-year-olds (n =18) 3 16.6 9 50
7- to 11-year-olds (n = 29) 19 65.5 10 34.5
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not talked with their parents about war were not asked this question. Also,
some of the youngest children were not asked this question because it was
clear from their earlier responses, or lack of responses, that they did not
understand the concept of war. Of the children who were asked and answered
the question, most answers (42.1%) were coded as Category 7, qualitative
evaluation of war. Examples of statements reflecting this category included,
“They’ve [parents] said war can be good and bad, but in all, they think every-
one should get along” (11-year-old Northern Irish boy) and “Sometimes they
[parents] think we’ve gone to war for a good reason and that the war will
solve the problem and make their [the Iraqis’] country better. But they also
think war is bad because we shouldn’t do it, we shouldn’t get involved”
(11-year-old American girl). “I remember that they said that this wasn’t going
to be a war that would be very dangerous for us, only the people who would
be fighting in it” (10-year-old American girl). “They think it’s a bad thing for
the . . . children to be seeing ‘cause there’s a lot of people being killed and
children” (10-year-old Northern Irish girl). Table 5 presents the categories
and frequency distribution of children’s responses to “What did your parents
say about war?”
A t test was performed to determine if children’s responses to the ques-
tion, “What did they say [about war]” were more complex among the 7- to
11-year-olds compared to the 3- to 6-year-olds. The results indicated that
older children used significantly more categories (M = 1.53) than the
younger children (M = 1.13) to describe what their parents said about war,
t(36) = –2.16, p = .04. Additional t tests revealed no significant differences
in complexity of answers between boys (M = 1.41) and girls (M = 1.48),
t(36) = .26, p = .78, nor between the American (M = 1.38) and Northern Irish
(M = 1.53) children, t(36) = –.62, p = .53.
Discussion
A main goal of this study was to contribute to the existing literature by
exploring children’s reports of communication with their parents about war
within an ecological framework. To date, limited research has focused only
on parents and their appraisals of what they would say to their children
about this pervasive and timely topic. We were particularly interested in
exploring the impact of micro- and macrolevel factors (i.e., children’s
gender, age, and country) on their reported conversations with their parents
about war. Overall, the results of the study provide support for the presence
of developmental differences in parent–child communication about war,
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1653
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particularly among American boys. The 7- to 11-year-old participants
reported talking with their parents about war significantly more than their
3- to 6-year-old counterparts did. According to Bronfenbrenner (1979), the
reciprocal interactions within their environments become increasingly com-
plex as children mature. The complexity of these interactions is demon-
strated in the presence of developmental differences in children’s reported
1654 Journal of Family Issues
Table 5
Categories and Frequencies of Children’s Responses to “What
Did Your Parents Say About War?” (N = 38)
Categories and Exemplars n %
0 Missing/don’t know 14 36.8
1 Weapons/soldiers 6 15.8
“War is when people get into fights with guns.”
(8-year-old American boy)
2 War activities 5 13.2
“[My parents said] it won’t be one of the ones
where they’ll be bombing our neighborhood
everyday.” (10-year-old Northern Irish girl)
3 Human aspects of war 1 2.6
“[My father] tells me that people, they want
war. They don’t want peace.” (10-year-old
American boy)
4 Negative consequences of war 4 10.5
“. . . a big cannonball hit [my grandfather’s] leg
[in the war].” (7-year-old Northern Irish boy)
5 Positive consequences of war 1 2.6
“They think we’ve gone to war for a good reason
and that the war will . . . make [the Iraqis’]
country better.” (11-year-old American girl)
6 Global conflict 6 15.8
“We talked about the world war . . . WWI and II.”
(8-year-old Northern Irish girl)
7 Qualitative evaluation of war 16 42.1
“They said that they don’t uhm think that war is
good either and they think there should be peace
in the world instead of war.” (9-year-old
Northern Irish boy)
8 Personal experience 2 5.3
“It’s quite bad because my mummy’s cousin died
[in the war].” (7-year-old Northern Irish girl)
Note: Percentages do not equal 100% because some children addressed more than one cate-
gory in their responses.
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communication with their parents about war and can be interpreted in three
overlapping ways. Older children, being more mature in their cognitive
abilities (in particular, reasoning and memory skills) than younger children
(Ceci & Bruck, 1998), are more able to initiate and participate in conversa-
tions with their parents about war. Second, because children typically do
not comprehend the concept of war until age 8 (Hakvoort & Oppenheimer,
1993), young children are less likely to talk about it with their parents.
Third, parents, being aware of their younger child’s cognitive immaturity,
may choose to not discuss the concept of war with them, assuming the
young child will not comprehend the discussion.
Whereas age group differences were found for boys participating in our
study, no age group differences in girls’ reported communication with their
parents about war resulted. Gilligan (1982) observed that boys tend to be more
concerned than girls with the issues of abstract justice and the details of a war
situation. As boys become older, they become even more interested in the topic
of war. Covell (1996) reported that girls are less tolerant of war and war-related
topics, which may result in them generally avoiding the topic. Perhaps because
older boys are more interested than other children in war-related topics, they are
more likely to start conversations with their parents about war. The present
study did not inquire into who initiated the parent-child war-related discussions.
The developmental differences found in parent–child communication
about war among American but not Northern Irish children may be the result
of the macrolevel influences operating within the two countries’ divergent
sociopolitical contexts. The parents of the Northern Irish children participat-
ing in this research were of the age that they grew up during the worst of their
country’s political conflict. Therefore, because they and their children have
experienced, if even via the media, political violence as a frequent occurrence
throughout their lives, they may be just as likely to talk about war (or not) to
their younger children as to their older children. In contrast, American
children’s recent exposure to political conflict has recently occurred as isolated
large-scale events. The September 11 attacks and the War in Iraq both received
sudden, widespread attention in American society, and most American
children had no prior exposure to political violence. Consequently, American
parents may be more reticent to talk about war and terrorism, particularly with
their younger children, out of concern for causing them undue fear.
The findings of our study revealed that older children addressed more cat-
egories than did younger children in their reports of what their parents said
about war. This may be explained in part by the developmental progression
of recall ability in children (Paris, 1978). The younger children participating
in our research may have had less complex answers simply because they
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1655
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could not recall what their parents said to them about war. Also, the parents
of the participants in this study likely were more extensive when discussing
war with their older children because they were capable of understanding
more. Thus, older children may have had more information to share in the
interview than the 3- to 6-year-olds did when asked what their parents told
them about war. Although Hypothesis 2 was supported, Hypotheses 1
(gender differences) and 3 (differences by country) were not, suggesting that
age is a stronger predictor than gender and country in determining if children
discuss war with their parents.
In addition to determining if children talked to their parents about war, the
present researchers examined children’s recollections of the content of what
their parents told them about war. Most children reported that their parents
gave a qualitative evaluation of war. For example, they reported that their
parents stated “war is bad” or “there was no reasoning for this war.” However,
only a small number of parents participating in Myers-Walls et al.’s (1993)
study were reported as making evaluative or judgment-type statements in
response to what they would tell their children about war. Similarly, partici-
pants in Hakvoort and Oppenheimer’s (1993) study were not likely to make
qualitative evaluations when asked to describe war. Instead, they discussed
war activities, weapons, and soldiers. It is important to note, however, that the
children participating in Hakvoort and Oppenheimer’s research were asked
to describe war, whereas children in the present study were asked what their
parents told them about war. This finding suggests that whereas children
may think of war as having to do with weapons and soldiers, they are not
making that connection as a result of talking to their parents. Instead, they
may make that association because of the media or other sources.
Another possible explanation for the different results in the present
research and Hakvoort and Oppenheimer’s (1993) study could be the dif-
ference in the presence/absence of war at the time of data collection for the
two projects. The present study was carried out in the United States and
Northern Ireland during a time of war. Hakvoort and Oppenheimer studied
a Dutch population during a time when their country was not involved in a
war. The focus of parents’ discussions about war might have been more
concrete (i.e., referring to weapons, tanks, and soldiers) during the absence
of war but more abstract and evaluative during a war. The results of Myers-
Walls et al.’s (1993) research support the idea that during peacetime parents
give more concrete responses to their children’s questions about war.
Parents’ responses to “If your child came to you tonight and asked, ‘What
is war?’ what would you say?” tended to center on the following categories:
descriptions of activities, a problem or disagreement, and agent of war. In
1656 Journal of Family Issues
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the present study, which was conducted during the War in Iraq, nearly 80%
of the responses were coded as qualitative evaluation of war and miss-
ing/don’t know. These differences suggest that conversations between
parents and children are more abstract during a war and more concrete in
the absence of war. During wartime, parents may give more abstract expla-
nations of war in an attempt to counteract the violence to which children are
frequently exposed. DeMuth and Melnick (1998) reported that parents do
not discuss details of war with their children because they do not want to
frighten them. Similarly, studies of parent–child discussions about other
difficult topics (e.g., death) have suggested that parents communicate in a
less straightforward manner when the topic stirs emotions (McNeil, 1983),
as war would. It should be noted that another explanation may account for
the divergent findings in Myers-Walls et al.’s (1993) research and the pre-
sent study. There simply may be a discrepancy in how parents report they
would respond to their children’s questions about war and what children
actually are told or retain from those conversations.
Whereas the overall sample size was 97, missing data contributed to small
cell sizes in the analyses. In addition, many participants in this study reported
that they talked to their parents about war, but when asked to elaborate on
what their parents said, many could not or did not. Perhaps the conversations
with their parents didn’t have a lasting impact on the child. Or when asked,
“Do you talk to your parents about war?” the children may have responded
how they thought the interviewer wanted (i.e., “yes”), but they were not pre-
pared to answer the question that followed: “What did your parents say?”
Another potential bias to the results was that the families who chose to par-
ticipate in this study may have had different or stronger views on war com-
pared to families who did not participate, or they simply may have felt more
comfortable with the topic than those who chose to not participate, therefore
biasing the results.
It also should be noted that the age differences that were found may have
been the result of developmental differences in the children more than age dif-
ferences in parent–child communication about war. It is possible that the
preschoolers simply did not have the cognitive ability to accurately recall if
they talked to their parents about war and what was discussed in those con-
versations. Several studies have questioned the credibility of young children’s
recall ability (see Ceci & Bruck, 1993, for a review of the literature). However,
Ceci and Bruck (1993) conclude “in most of the studies that have been
reported during the past decade, young children were able to accurately
recollect the majority of the information they observed, even though they did
not recall as much as older children” (p. 433). Additionally, the age differences
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1657
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found in the present study may be the result of the methodology used (i.e.,
interview questions probing children’s free recall). Age differences in free
recall are more pronounced than in tasks not eliciting free recall (e.g., recog-
nition tasks; Ceci & Bruck, 1993). Nonetheless, we chose to conduct inter-
views with our participants of all ages in concurrence with Fivush’s (1998)
statement, “The ability to report an experience is the clearest evidence of a
specific, conscious, accessible memory of an experience” (p. 700).
Implications for Parents, Parenting
Educators, and Researchers
There is a growing interest from parents in talking with their children
about war, as demonstrated by the numerous Internet Web sites devoted to
the topic. This current interest and the present international political ten-
sions warrant research-based educational opportunities for parents on how
to communicate with their children about war and other political violence.
The present study provides a foundation on which such education may be
built. Overall, the findings of our study suggest that parents may not be
talking much to younger children about war and/or the children are not
recalling what the parents told them. Because global terrorist attacks and the
War in Iraq are portrayed in many media forms, there is a great likelihood
that children will be exposed to those images. According to Brooks and
Siegel (1996), children ages 3 to 6 can be particularly frightened by what
they see regarding war because they are unable to understand the geography
of a war and the idea that they are not directly involved. Children of that age
are liable to imagine themselves in the violent situations to which they are
exposed. Brooks and Siegel (1996) strongly suggest that parents explain
these images and do so repeatedly because younger children cannot remem-
ber complicated things such as war. In light of cognitive differences in
children of varying ages, it is important that parenting educators give parents
guidance in how to talk with their children about political violence in a
developmentally appropriate way.
One obstacle that parenting educators may face is parents’ concern that
talking with their children about war may instill fear in them. In past
research on parents, children, and nuclear war (e.g., Schwebel, 1982) and as
evidenced in the results of the present study, many children do not remem-
ber the discussions they had with their parents about war. This may be
because parents do not have specific discussions with their children about
war. Instead, they may just mention it in passing or briefly in response to a
child’s question, resulting in no significant negative impact on the child.
1658 Journal of Family Issues
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With many of the respondents in the present study reporting that their
parents shared with them a qualitative evaluation of war, children are not
necessarily being exposed to details that make them fear war. For example,
a parent mentioning that “war is wrong” or that “war is sometimes neces-
sary,” as opposed to a parent mentioning “people being shot with guns” or
“houses are being blown up,” can give the child information about war with-
out fear. Parenting educators can help parents talk to their children about war
without causing unnecessary fear. Smith et al. (2001) suggest that family
reactions to political violence play a key role in mediating children’s dis-
tress and that family education programs should incorporate elements that
support parents in alleviating negative child reactions.
Furthermore, providing their children with a qualitative evaluation of war
creates an opportunity for parents to open a dialogue regarding their family’s
broader system of values. Parenting educators can help parents recognize
and address the macrolevel factors that contribute to family life. For
example, watching television reports of the war together provides parents
with “teachable moments” in which to help their children better understand
values related to conflict resolution, prosocial behaviors, justice, decision
making, and problem solving. Such values discussions may, in turn, help
strengthen the family. According to Stinnett and DeFrain (1985), shared val-
ues are characteristic of strong families and may help families cope with
challenges.
The findings of our study also suggest several directions for future
researchers interested in this line of inquiry. First, because age was the major
predictor of differences in children’s responses to “Have you ever talked to
your parents about war?” and “What did they say?” it is important that future
studies include children older than 11 to study the developmental progres-
sion in which children come to create their own conceptions of war and con-
flict. Children’s developing understanding of war is an important foundation
on which they develop attitudes and behaviors in a war situation. Early expe-
riences and knowledge about war acquired during childhood influences
adult perceptions of war. Second, in addition to age differences, future
research is recommended that identifies the differences between what
parents and children say they discussed with each other about war. Doing
this may reveal differences between what the parents say to their children
about war and what the children actually retain from the conversations.
Third, future studies should examine the optimal frequency of parent–child
discussions about war, in terms of what is most effective in helping children
cope with the political violence. Fourth, demographic factors have a major
influence on parenting, and future researchers are encouraged to examine
O’Malley et al. / Children’s Communication With Parents About War 1659
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whether selected variables, such as education, income levels, and political
and religious group membership, are associated with children’s reported
communication about war with parents. Finally, more in-depth qualitative
analyses would provide rich findings that add to our knowledge of parent-
child communication about war and related concepts.
Conclusion
The present research documented the benefits of assessing children’s per-
spectives on their communication with parents about war. The findings of
this study (a) provided a more representative view of what children retain
from the discussions than if their parents were the respondents and (b) doc-
umented developmental differences in children’s reported communication
with their parents about war. In addition, age was found to be a stronger pre-
dictor than gender and country in children’s discussions of war with their
parents. Understanding what children of different ages retain from those
conversations serves as an important foundation for helping parents engage
in healthy, age-appropriate discussions with their children about the increas-
ingly pervasive topics of war and terrorism.
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1662 Journal of Family Issues
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