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“Glittering Mockery”: Twentieth-Century Leap Year Marriage Proposals
Abstract
This article considers the unconventional and chimerical custom of women proposing to men during a leap year. Capturing the imagination of Americans from 1904 into the 1960s, shame and ridicule made it difficult for women to take advantage of the opportunity to propose to men. Critics held that women who asked men to marry them were desperate, aggressive, and unfeminine. Considering postcards, advertisements, and newspaper columns, this article concludes that the leap year tradition promised real power for courting women but ultimately delivered false empowerment and reinforced traditional courtship practices.
... To people who endorse conventional gender roles, such a proposal may be viewed as illegitimate (or a joke) because it violates the proposal script (Schweingeruber et al., 2004). Indeed, it was so unconventional for women in the United States to propose that a tradition developed at the turn of the last century whereby it was only deemed acceptable for a woman to propose to a man on February 29 th in a leap year (Parkin, 2012). Moreover, if a RULES OF ENGAGEMENT 7 proposer fails to enact each necessary component of the scripted proposal ritual, the couple or observers may feel that the proposal is lacking or somehow unfinished (Schweingeruber et al., 2004). ...
Little research exists concerning the Western marriage proposal ritual, and rejected proposals are particularly understudied. The current research used the lens of life script theory to quantitatively and qualitatively analyze 374 first-person written accounts of accepted and rejected marriage proposals between men and women that were sampled from online forums. Rejected proposals were more likely than accepted proposals to violate the proposal script. Compared to accepted proposals, rejected proposals included fewer ritual elements and they often happened "off-time." Specifically, rejected proposals came earlier in the relationship, typically prior to the discussion of the topic of marriage by the couple, and rejected men sometimes proposed to "save" an unstable or abusive relationship that was headed toward dissolution. As with other important life transition events, audiences played an important role in many proposals. Rejected proposals were more likely to occur in public than accepted proposals, and when present, audience members often participated in the proposal by encouraging couples to follow the proposal script and by expressing dissatisfaction when the script was violated. Some audiences became hostile when the woman said "no." Also consistent with life script theory, couples evinced strong emotions during proposals, and confusion and anger were common emotional responses among rejected suitors. Indeed, 15% of rejected proposal accounts described intimate partner violence. Yet, about 30% of relationships continued after the rejection, sometimes for years. These and other novel results contribute to the science of close relationships, family psychology, life script theory, commitment, rejection, and social rituals. (PsycInfo Database Record (c) 2021 APA, all rights reserved).
Early studies have laid the foundation for research looking at gender roles, stereotypes, and equality in the United States of America (USA). Investigations into gender roles and stereotypes across the twentieth century provide a baseline for examining current views of women and men. In the USA, and in many other countries, gender inequities can still be seen in male-female participation in politics, education, work, and athletics, despite great increases in opportunities for women in these arenas. Although some inequality still exists, increased opportunities for women have led to more diverse gender roles in the family. Despite conflicting messages from society as to the proper roles of men and women in the family, research has shown that devising a partnership and system that works for each individual family has led to well-functioning couples, no matter what role each parent plays in the family. Along with early studies of adult gender roles and stereotypes, research looking at how children acquire gender knowledge has been carried out in the USA. In addition to siblings, peers also play a role in gender socialization. Children appear to learn gender roles and stereotypes without direct instruction, suggesting that gender-related messages are learned in the context of the family and in social interactions with peers. Research has examined how unhealthy gender-related behavior, such as violence against women and mental health difficulties, differently affect men and women.
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This paper discusses how comic postcards circulating in Europe and North America between 1900 and 1930 featured various aspects of family life. A range of situations were considered amusing involving babies, children, parents, mothers-in-law, servants and the elderly. The four situations that were pictured most frequently were flirtations, fertility, the struggle between husband and wife for dominance in the household, and courtship. The presence of widely shared attitudes to family life within the western world is suggested by the fact that the same sort of humour featured in cards sent and received in different European countries and in North America. On the other hand, the text on the back of the cards indicates that some writers had ignored or misunderstood the humour represented on the front of the card, whereas others had chosen their cards with care.
How do contemporary American female comics perform onstage, and what does this performance reveal about power relations in our culture as well as the existence of a "female" and, more specifically, "feminist" genre of stand-up comedy? In this long overdue study of women and stand-up comedy, Joanne R. Gilbert explores these questions in order to illuminate the social, political, and cultural implications of power and gender in popular entertainment. Gilbertââ¬â¢s research recognizes the problems that arise from assumptions made about the genres of "female" and "feminist" humor and ultimately suggests that these are part of a larger genre she calls "marginal humor." Performing Marginality provides a historical overview of female comic performance and offers a taxonomy of comedic postures assumed by contemporary female comics, providing a useful way to categorize this often overlooked genre. Performing Marginality also examines problems in existing studies on the subject, the politics involved with marginal humor, and the role of audience in comic performance. This book develops the notion of "performing marginality" not only as the way female comics perform their gender onstage, but as the means by which all of us construct, contest, and negotiate our gendered, racialized, and otherwise marked identities in everyday life. As a former professional stand-up comic and current scholar of communications and womenââ¬â¢s studies, Gilbert offers a unique perspective on gender, humor, and power through the lens of contemporary female comic performance.
In this article, the author reports on the results of a content analysis of strips. In particular he describes the social
milieu of the strips, the personality traits of the major characters, their goals in life, and the reflection in the cartoons
of the conflict between real and ideal marriage relationships.
Gerhart Saenger is a staff member of the Graduate School of Public Administration and Social Service and the Graduate Department
of Psychology of New York University and a consultant with the Institute for Motivational Research, Croton-on-Hudson, N. Y.
Arthur Power DuddenAmerican HumorSpecial Issue: American Humor; SpringMen and Romantic Love: Pinpointing A 20th-Century Change
- Gerhart
Gerhart Saenger, ‘‘Male and Female Relations in the American Comic Strip,’’ The Public Opinion Quarterly 19, no.2 (Summer 1955): 205; Arthur Power Dudden, ‘‘American Humor,’’ American Quarterly 37, no. 1 (Special Issue: American Humor; Spring 1985): 7–12; Peter N. Stearns and Mark Knapp, ‘‘Men and Romantic Love: Pinpointing A 20th-Century Change,’’ Journal of Social History 26, no. 4 (Summer 1993): 775–7; Joseph Boskin, ed. The Humor Prism in 20th-Century America (Detroit: Wayne State Uni-versity Press, 1997),18–19, 48; Maurice Horn, Women in the Comics, Vol. I (Broomall, PA: Chelsea House Publishers, 2001).
The Leap Year Proposal
- Dorothy Dix
Dorothy Dix, ‘‘The Leap Year Proposal,’’ New York Times, February 21, 1904, SM7.
An Anthropological Approach Habegger in Nancy WalkerHumor and Gender Roses: The ‘Funny’ Feminism of the Post-World War II Suburbs Leap Year cartoon
- L Mahadev
- Apte
- Humor
- Laughter
Mahadev L. Apte, Humor and Laughter: An Anthropological Approach (Ithaca, NY: Cornell University Press, 1985) , 18, 72; Habegger in Nancy Walker, ‘‘Humor and Gender Roses: The ‘Funny’ Feminism of the Post-World War II Suburbs,’’ American Quarterly 37, no. 1 (Special Issue: American Humor) (Spring 1985): 101; Gilbert, Performing Marginality, 12; Leap Year cartoon, February 29, 1912, Oversize Box 1, Folder 2, Karl K. Knecht Papers, Special Collections Library, Syracuse University.
Leap Year Wedding; Girls Pop QuestionBonus to Girls Who WooSays Girl Proposed Marriage
''Leap Year Wedding; Girls Pop Question,'' New York Times, January 11, 1904, 2; ''Bonus to Girls Who Woo,''
New York Times, February 13, 1904, 6; ''Says Girl Proposed Marriage,'' New York Times, May 13, 1904, 2.
The World Brought Her Their Secrets,'' in Louisiana Women: Their Lives and Times
- Christina Vella
- Dorothy Dix
Christina Vella, ''Dorothy Dix: The World Brought Her Their Secrets,'' in Louisiana Women: Their Lives and
Times, eds. Janet Allured and Judith F. Gentry (Athens, GA: University of Georgia Press, 2009), 195–212.
When He Skipped The Adair County News (Columbia, Kentucky)Her Leap Year Proposal
''When He Skipped,'' The Adair County News (Columbia, Kentucky) February 26, 1908, 2; ''Her Leap
Year Proposal,'' Chicago Daily Tribune, November 11, 1928, G5.
A 1928 articleLeap Year Standards,'' reflects on two novels, The Constant Nymph and Pam The Constant Nymph was made into a movie three times (Life
''In Woman's World,'' New York Times, March 10, 1901, 18. A 1928 article, ''Leap Year Standards,''
reflects on two novels, The Constant Nymph and Pam, in which the woman proposed (LA Times, January
3, 1937, D8). The Constant Nymph was made into a movie three times (Life, August 2, 1943, 38).
How to Marry a Ball Player Baseball Digest
''How to Marry a Ball Player,'' Baseball Digest, September 4, 1964, 17–20; Baseball Digest, http://
www.baseballdigest.com/about/.
Six Bachelors Looking Forward to Marriage—Some Day
- Judy Kelmesrud
Judy Kelmesrud, ''Six Bachelors Looking Forward to Marriage—Some Day!'' New York Times, December
9, 1968, 56.
A Leap Year Proposal and Its ResultLeap Year Thoughts
''A Leap Year Proposal and Its Result,'' Los Angeles Times, July 12, 1892, 10; ''Leap Year Thoughts,'' Los
Angeles Times, February 5, 1896, 6.
She is the author of Food is Love: Food Advertising and Gender Roles in Modern America She is currently writing a social and cultural history of women and cars in America
Katherine Parkin is an associate professor of History at Monmouth University in New Jersey (USA). She is
the author of Food is Love: Food Advertising and Gender Roles in Modern America (University of Pennsylvania Press, 2006), winner of the 2006 Emily Toth Award for Best Book in Feminist Popular Culture. She is currently writing a social and cultural history of women and cars in America.
104
Journal of Family History 37(1)
Who Cares About Leap Year? Pittsburgh Bachelors Don't. Single Men Considered Eligible Just Aren't Worried A Bit About Possibility of Proposals
- Evelyn Burke
Evelyn Burke, ''Who Cares About Leap Year? Pittsburgh Bachelors Don't. Single Men Considered Eligible Just Aren't Worried A Bit About Possibility of Proposals,'' The Pittsburgh Press, January 12, 1936;
''18 Million Husbands Available (Including Rich Ones) for Leap Year,'' The Pittsburgh Press, December
31, 1939, 6.
Leap Year Proposal About Women's LibMayden Ladyes' Given Strong Legal Advantage
- Eleanor Sapko
- The Hartford Courant
Eleanor Sapko, The Hartford Courant, January 1, 1972, 5; Don DeMichaels, ''Leap Year Proposal About
Women's Lib,'' Chicago Daily Tribune, January 11, 1972, 20; '''Mayden Ladyes' Given Strong Legal
Advantage,'' The Hartford Courant, January 30, 1972, 33A2.
Date Idea is All Right in Teen Circles Chicago Daily TribuneFemale Courting, Sign of Leap Year, May Turn Into an Every-Year MoveLeap Year 1960 Means Little to Modern MaidLeap Year Doesn't Send TeenersBachelors Beware It's Leap Year!
- Sheila John Daly
Sheila John Daly, ''The Girl-Ask-Boy Date Idea is All Right in Teen Circles,'' Chicago Daily Tribune,
March 22, 1952, A1; ''Female Courting, Sign of Leap Year, May Turn Into an Every-Year Move,'' New
York Times, February 13, 1956, 30; Dorothy Barclay, ''Leap Year 1960 Means Little to Modern Maid,''
New York Times, December 31, 1959, 14; Eugene Gilbert, ''Leap Year Doesn't Send Teeners,'' Schenectady
Gazette, February 13, 1960; Beatrice Wein, ''Girls Won't Propose Even in Leap Year,'' The Owosso-Argus
Press, May 21, 1960; ''Bachelors Beware It's Leap Year!,'' The Hartford Courant, February 8, 1968, 42;
A Leap Year ProposalLoft Candy'' ad
- Hartford Ad
- Courant
''A Leap Year Proposal'' ad, Hartford Courant, February 29, 1916, 2; ''Loft Candy'' ad, Hartford Courant,
February 29, 1924, 6.
Wed Sleepless Man; Trenton Wonder is Bothered By Leap Year ProposalsHe Has Had 200 Leap Year Proposals Though He is Married
''Would Wed Sleepless Man; Trenton Wonder is Bothered By Leap Year Proposals,'' New York Times,
April 11, 1904, 1; ''He Has Had 200 Leap Year Proposals Though He is Married,'' Chicago Daily Tribune,
102
Journal of Family History 37(1)
The Art of Donald McGill
- George Orwell
George Orwell, ''The Art of Donald McGill,'' Horizon 1941; Heywood Broun and Margaret Leech,
Anthony Comstock, Roundsman of the Lord (New York: Literary Guild of America, 1927).
TV Humorist Got 326 Leap Year Proposals The Dispatch
- Hal Boyle
Hal Boyle, ''TV Humorist Got 326 Leap Year Proposals,'' The Dispatch, August 13, 1956; Susan
Douglass, Where the Girls Are: Growing up Female with the Mass Media (New York: Times Books,
1995), 117.
Every Day is Leap DayLeap Year: Ladies' Choice
- Georgia Dullea
- Sydney J Harris
Georgia Dullea, ''In These Liberated Times, Every Day is Leap Day,'' New York Times, February 28,
1976, 45; Sydney J. Harris, ''Leap Year: Ladies' Choice,'' Sarasota Journal, February 27, 1980.
Judge Sarah Hughes of Dallas, Texas sought to encourage women's willingness to seek public office. She declared that women ''have waited too long to be wooed, forgetting that, in politics, every year is a Leap Year Women Endorsed for Vice President
- Emma Harrison
This connection between women's political and matrimonial voice continued. In 1956, Judge Sarah
Hughes of Dallas, Texas sought to encourage women's willingness to seek public office. She declared that
women ''have waited too long to be wooed, forgetting that, in politics, every year is a Leap Year;'' Emma
Harrison, ''2 Women Endorsed for Vice President,'' New York Times, July 1, 1952, 15.
The Leap Year ProposalWife, Aged 70, Sues Husband, Who is 81 He claimed that when she asked him to marry her he declined, but when ''She sulked and carried about the house for several days . . . out of sympathy I married her
- Dix
Dix, ''The Leap Year Proposal,'' New York Times, February 21, 1904, SM7; ''Wife, Aged 70, Sues Husband,
Who is 81,'' New York Times, March 27, 1922. He claimed that when she asked him to marry her he declined,
but when ''She sulked and carried about the house for several days... out of sympathy I married her.''
A Memo to the Girls: There is a Surplus of Bachelors for the Leap Year But Husband Hunters Should Know Where to Look This advice was also advanced in a newspaper column: Lois Baur
''A Memo to the Girls: There is a Surplus of Bachelors for the Leap Year But Husband Hunters Should
Know Where to Look,'' Life, March 12, 1956, 113–9. This advice was also advanced in a newspaper column: Lois Baur, ''Have You Heard?'' Chicago Daily Tribune, January 29, 1956, G3.
- Joanne R Orwell
- Performing Gilbert
- Marginality
Orwell; Joanne R. Gilbert, Performing Marginality: Humor, Gender, and Cultural Critique (Detroit:
Wayne State University Press, 2004), 12–4.