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Regrets and Priorities at Three Stages of Life

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Abstract

Surveyed 138 men and 178 women in 3 age categories (20–29, 30–55, and 64+ yrs) about their major regrets and priorities in life. The most frequently cited regrets were related to missed educational opportunities. Younger Ss were more concerned about careers and romance than older Ss; older Ss rated family higher and expressed more regret about not having spent more time with family. Although young men set higher priorities on career and lower priorities on family than did women, men (especially older men) more often wished they had spent more time with family. The only difference found between the most and least satisfied Ss was that the least satisfied Ss wished they had taken more risks in their lives. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
... Longer-term regrets of (un)taken developmental paths, sometimes called "life regrets," have been focused on in life-span research. Studies in developmental psychology have concentrated on regret content and associations with perceived control and well-being, either in older adulthood (e.g., Alexander et al., 1992;Hattiangadi et al., 1995;Newall et al., 2009;Wrosch et al., 2007) or different adult age groups (e.g., Kinnier & Metha, 1989;Lecci et al., 1994;Wrosch & Heckhausen, 2002). These studies have typically used correlational approaches with mostly cross-sectional designs. ...
... Missed opportunities in education have turned out to be the most frequently named regret across different age groups, followed by career-related regrets (for a summary, see Roese & Summerville, 2005, whereas the dominance of educational and career regrets could not be replicated in a more recent study with older adults; Newall et al., 2009). Family-related regrets are more frequently found in non-student than in student samples (e.g., Alexander et al., 1992;Kinnier & Metha, 1989). Examples of family-related regrets reported in a study by Hattiangadi et al. (1995) include "should have spent more time in family relationships" and "should have spent more time with children and/or grandchildren when they were young." ...
... Some work-family regrets might even gain in psychological importance years after decisions had been made, for example, when people look back at their lives at an older age. Kinnier and Metha (1989) found that the regret of not having spent more quality time with the family was more often named by older than by younger and middle-aged adults. Regrets about a decision made long ago might also be activated by critical events (e.g., being laid off; Sullivan et al., 2007) that prompt reevaluations. ...
Article
Postpartum mothers have to decide whether to leave the workforce for some time and, if so, when to return to paid work. Two kinds of regrets might evolve as a result of women’s leave‐related decisions: stay‐at‐home and return‐to‐work regrets. The present research investigates how these forms of regrets are associated with women’s affective organizational commitment. We conducted a four‐wave longitudinal study with female participants mostly living in Switzerland (61 %) and Germany (37 %). The first measurement occasion took place during pregnancy (N = 294), and the subsequent three postnatal measurement points were at six (n = 281), twelve (n = 254), and 24 months (n = 230) after childbirth. As expected, higher organizational commitment during pregnancy predicted stronger stay‐at‐home regrets. By contrast, women’s prenatal organizational commitment did not turn out to be predictive for lowered return‐to‐work regrets. We further assumed cross‐lagged associations between post‐birth organizational commitment and return‐to‐work regrets. Our results suggest that return‐to‐work regrets are predictive of decreases in affective organizational commitment. Reversed causation, i.e., effects from postnatal organizational commitment to return‐to‐work regrets, could not be confirmed. Results are discussed regarding theoretical, methodological, and practical implications.
... However, there is also evidence that the experience of counterfactual thought and emotion following action dissipates over time (Byrne, 2005;Gilovich & Medvec, 1994Gilovich, Medvec, & Chen, 1995;Kinnier & Metha, 1989;Roese & Summerville, 2005). In part this seems due to processes of cognitive dissonance reduction (see Cooper & Fazio, 1984;Festinger, 1957;Gilovich et al., , 2003. ...
... Nevertheless, the current experiment also found evidence that the initial effect of choice level on psychological satisfaction does not appear to be long lasting, with a significant reduction in the effect over a 2-week period. This result appears to be in line with counterfactual theory, specifically with evidence suggesting that a reduction in the experience of counterfactual emotion will follow action over time (Gilovich & Medvec, 1994Kinnier & Metha, 1989). ...
Article
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People are often more satisfied with a choice (e.g., chocolates, pens) when the number of options in the choice set is “just right” (e.g., 10–12), neither too few (e.g., 2–4) nor too many (e.g., 30–40). We investigated this “Goldilocks effect” in the context of a placebo treatment. Participants reporting nonspecific complaints (e.g., headaches) chose one of Bach's 38 Flower Essences from a choice set of 2 (low choice), 12 (optimal choice), or 38 (full choice) options to use for a 2-week period. Replicating earlier findings in the novel context of a health-related choice, participants were initially more satisfied with the essence they selected when presented with 12 versus either 2 or 38 options. More importantly, self-reported symptoms were significantly lower 2 weeks later in the optimal (12) versus nonoptimal choice conditions (2 and 38). Because there is no known active ingredient in Bach's Flower Essences, we refer to this as the Goldilocks placebo effect. Supporting a counterfactual thinking account of the Goldilocks effect, and despite significantly fewer symptoms after 2 weeks, those in the optimal choice set condition were no longer significantly more satisfied with their choice at the end of testing. Implications for medical practice, especially patient choice, are discussed.
... Our findings with respect to the specific content of people's regrets closely match those obtained by previous investigators. For instance, the most common regret mentioned by subjects surveyed by Kinnier and Metha (1989;Metha et al., 1989) was that they did not take their education more seriously and work harder at it-the most common regret listed by our respondents as well (see also Cantril, 1965, for a similar finding). Their subjects, like ours, also expressed concern about the lack of time spent with family and about their reluctance to take risks ("seize the moment"). ...
Article
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Through telephone surveys, written questionnaires, and face-to-face interviews, it was found that people's biggest regrets tend to involve things they have failed to do in their lives. This conflicts with research on counterfactual thinking that indicates that people regret unfortunate outcomes that stem from actions taken more than identical outcomes that result from actions foregone. These divergent findings were reconciled by demonstrating that people's regrets follow a systematic time course: Actions cause more pain in the short-term, but inactions are regretted more in the long run. Support for this contention was obtained in 2 scenario experiments that assessed people's beliefs about the short- and long-term regrets of others and in an experiment that asked Ss about their own regrets of action and inaction from 2 time periods. Several mechanisms that can account for this temporal pattern are discussed.
... Consistent with the adage 'Failing to plan is planning to fail', research on judgment and decisionmaking has found that insufficient foresight is a major source of mistakes that people come to regret (Kinnier and Metha, 1989), such as neglecting their education and failing to save for retirement (Bruine de Bruin et al., 2007;Goda et al., 2019;Wang and Sloan, 2018). One way to address this problem is to increase people's decision-making competence (i.e., boosting; Hertwig and Grüne-Yanoff, 2017) by helping them learn to use more far-sighted decision strategies. ...
Article
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Short-sighted decisions can have devastating consequences, and teaching people to make their decisions in a more far-sighted way is challenging. Previous research found that reflecting on one’s behavior can boost learning from success and failure. Here, we explore the potential benefits of guiding people to reflect on whether and how they thought about what to do (i.e., systematic metacognitive reflection ). We devised a series of Socratic questions that prompt people to reflect on their decision-making and tested their effectiveness in a process-tracing experiment with a 5-step planning task ( N=265 ). Each participant went through several cycles of making a series of decisions and then either reflecting on how they made those decisions, answering unrelated questions, or moving on to the next decision right away. We found that systematic metacognitive reflection helps people discover adaptive, far-sighted decision strategies faster. Our results suggest that systematic metacognitive reflection is a promising approach to boosting people’s decision-making competence.
... Many researchers working on judgment and decision-making (e.g., Tversky & Kahneman, 1974;Gilovich et al., 2002) have argued that human decision-making is plagued by many systematic errors known as cognitive biases (but see Gigerenzer, 1991;Gigerenzer et al., 2008). In particular, older people often come to regret the short-sighted decisions they made about their health, education, and finances when they were younger (Kinnier & Metha, 1989). Consistent with this observation, numerous experiments on intertemporal choice have consistently found that people's decisions depend primarily on the immediate outcomes of potential choices and underweight their more weighty long-term consequences (Milkman et al., 2008;O'Donoghue & Rabin, 2015). ...
Article
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Human decision-making is plagued by many systematic errors. Many of these errors can be avoided by providing decision aids that guide decision-makers to attend to the important information and integrate it according to a rational decision strategy. Designing such decision aids used to be a tedious manual process. Advances in cognitive science might make it possible to automate this process in the future. We recently introduced machine learning methods for discovering optimal strategies for human decision-making automatically and an automatic method for explaining those strategies to people. Decision aids constructed by this method were able to improve human decision-making. However, following the descriptions generated by this method is very tedious. We hypothesized that this problem can be overcome by conveying the automatically discovered decision strategy as a series of natural language instructions for how to reach a decision. Experiment 1 showed that people do indeed understand such procedural instructions more easily than the decision aids generated by our previous method. Encouraged by this finding, we developed an algorithm for translating the output of our previous method into procedural instructions. We applied the improved method to automatically generate decision aids for a naturalistic planning task (i.e., planning a road trip) and a naturalistic decision task (i.e., choosing a mortgage). Experiment 2 showed that these automatically generated decision aids significantly improved people’s performance in planning a road trip and choosing a mortgage. These findings suggest that AI-powered boosting might have potential for improving human decision-making in the real world.
... Consistent with the adage "Failing to plan is planning to fail", research on judgment and decision-making has found that insufficient foresight is a major source of mistakes that people come to regret (Kinnier & Metha, 1989), such as neglecting their education and failing to save for retirement (Bruine de Bruin et al., 2007;Goda et al., 2019;Wang & Sloan, 2018). One way to address this problem, is to increase people's decision-making competence (i.e., boosting; Hertwig & Grüne-Yanoff, 2017) by helping them learn to use more far-sighted decision strategies. ...
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Full-text available
Shortsighted decisions can have devastating consequences, and teaching people to make their decisions in a more far-sighted way is challenging. Previous research found that reflecting on one's behavior can boost learning from success and failure. Here, we explore the potential benefits of guiding people to reflect on whether and how they thought about what to do (i.e., systematic metacognitive reflection). We devised a series of Socratic questions that prompt people to reflect on their decision-making and tested their effectiveness in a process-tracing experiment with a 5-step planning task (= 265). Each participant went through several cycles of making a series of decisions and then either reflecting on how they made those decisions, answering unrelated questions, or moving on to the next decision right away. We found that systematic metacognitive reflection helps people discover adaptive, far-sighted decision strategies faster. Our results suggest that systematic metacognitive reflection is a promising approach to boosting people's decision-making competence.
... In order to assess the life role salience of the participants, we asked them which one was more important to them ("What do you consider to be more important to yourself now: an ideal romantic long-term partner or an ideal job?"), in line with a similar procedure employed in the research performed by Kinnier and Metha (1989). ...
Conference Paper
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Examines how the dynamics of stress and coping change with circumstances of living and processes of aging. The answer has remained obscure for 3 main reasons. (1) The state of the art in the measurement of stress and coping is still primitive. (2) Personal beliefs, values, and commitments, which develop from a person's unique history, shape appraisal of stress and manner in which stress is coped with and therefore have profound consequences for morale, social and work functioning, and somatic health. (3) Most of the observations relevant to the central question have been obtained cross-sectionally; however, because the significance of any given event is embedded in the individual's personal, lifelong drama, it is important to examine stress and coping longitudinally as well. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
A research approach to improving our quality of life
  • Flanagan