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Emotional Intimacy Among Men

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Abstract

Although males report more same-sex friendships than women do, most of these are not close, intimate, or characterized by self-disclosure. Many barriers exist to emotional intimacy between men, some stemming from the demands of traditional male roles in our society, such as pressures to compete, homophobia, and aversion to vulnerability and openness, as well as from the lack of adequate role models. Exercises to increase self-disclosure, openness, and the potential for deeper affection between men are described as the goals of workshops developed to enable male participants to initiate and maintain meaningful relationships with other men.

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... Such notions as 'men aren't vulnerable or emotional' or that 'they are not interested in shopping' or that 'they don't care for self-disclosure' are typical. Men are only supposed to care for one half of the human race, the other half [other men] they are supposed to argue with or fight and injure without recourse (Lewis, 1978). Also (stereo)typical are that 'women are overly emotional, overly vulnerable and dependent' (Lorber, 1986). ...
... 'The mass of men live quiet lives of desperation' (Thoreau, in Biddulph, 1995, p. 9). Life is a constant internal conflict for men as they can not deny their internal feelings (Lewis, 1978). The images of past adult manhood are worn out and do not work any more (Bly, 1991). ...
... Many men have surrendered sexual power to and are dependent on women for support, nurturance, and love. They have become virtual romantic cripples (Lewis, 1978). Many men feel powerless as individuals in spite of the obvious privileges for their sex as a whole (Segal, 1997). ...
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If femininity and masculinity are understood as consisting of both positive and negative traits and androgyny is a combination of feminine and masculine traits, then logically androgynous people could manifest any number and combination of positive and negative traits. The traditional notion of androgyny is as an identity that consists of a balance of positive feminine and positive masculine traits. A balance of negative feminine and negative masculine traits could also constitute a part of androgyny, creating the possibility of an undesirable or negative androgyny.
... To pursue the issue of emotional fluency and engagement somewhat further with this aim in mind, there have been some interesting observations about gender patterns in intimate interactions coherently summarized in Wagner et al.(2001). It has been suggested that men tend to disclose less in friendship relationships than women due to socio-cultural prohibitions against intimacy between men (Brehm, 1992;Derlega & Chaikin, 1976;Floyd, 1996;Foubert & Sholley, 1996;Hays, 1997;all cited in Wagner et al., 2001) and the fear of being perceived as weak or homosexual (Dolgin, Meyer, & Schwartz, 1991;Lewis, 1978;Monroe, Baker, & Roll, 1997;Pleck, 1975;Rubin et al., 1980;Sattel, 1976;Winstead, 1986;all cited in Wagner-et al., 2001). With regard to friendships men appear significantly more likely to identify the ability to 'relax and be oneself' as a reason for spending time with other men rather than with women. ...
... These studies suggest that women generally self-disclose more frequently than men and that their self-disclosures tend to be more evaluative, whereas men's tend to be more descriptive. Lewis (1978) mentions four barriers to intimacy for men, three of them arising directly from traditional male role imperatives into which young men are socialized. These include: competitiveness; fear of homosexuality; avoidance of personal vulnerability; and avoidance of openness. ...
... The gendering of individuals and the performance of gender is understood to be a complex and interactional process. Many authors have observed that the acquisition of a masculine identity is given considerable weight in most societies and that this involves distanciation from stereotypically feminine traits in boys and young men, and in particular, precludes emotional intimacy between men (Lewis, 1978). Thus for many boys identity formation is strongly centered on the internalization and/or performance of a stereotypic masculine identity involving the rejection of traits associated with being feminine or 'gay' (Blazina, 1997;Martino, 2000;both cited in Watts & Borders, 2005;Gilligan and Wiggins,1988;Ratele et al., 2007). ...
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The aim of the study was to investigate masculine role identifications amongst male volunteer peer counsellors. Based on focus group interviews with young men (n=12) aged 16 to 18, the juxtapositioning of masculinity and the role of counsellor was explored. The data were analysed by means of critical thematic analysis. The boys displayed considerable anxiety concerning how they might be perceived as counsellors and engaged in two main interlinked discursive strategies in order to retain an alignment with the masculine. Firstly, the young men worked hard to make associations between dominant masculine identifications and occupying the role of peer counsellor and emphasized their masculine ‘credit’. Secondly, they attempted to masculinize the actual activity of counselling, in part by divorcing it from its associations with the feminine.
... Although friendship is primarily experienced by individuals as a complex psychological phenomenon (Poplawski 1989), its dimensions, behavioral requisites, and prohibitions are nonetheless socially defined and regulated (Van Duijn et al. 2003). The present research contributes to the sociological research on male friendships by examining the contemporary notion of Bbromance.Ŵ hereas most of the twentieth century investigations of male friendship explicitly focused on missing emotional and physical intimacy, compared to what exists in women's friendships (Lewis 1978), the concept of the bromance has been recently used to describe a new form of friendship between men: one based in intimacy. The term has been used, variably, by scholars (DeAngelis 2014; Thompson 2015), normally as a cultural discourse on friendship. ...
... Jack said: BI love him to bits, he's my man crush,^and Theo said: BI can happily say, 'oh I love him.'^This declaration of love contravenes the heterosexual vocabulary of previous decades when men even avoided using the word Blike^because it was perceived as being too affectionate (Lewis 1978). Conversely, men in our sample expressed a much more affectionate sentiment. ...
... The most salient feature these 30 men described about a bromance-even if overly idealized-was that they were free of judgment, which permits them to push the cultural margins of traditional masculinity toward more intimate and expressive behaviors than previously occurred between male friends (Lewis 1978;Williams 1985). In fact, it was the degree of emotional disclosure that differentiates a friendship from a bromance. ...
Article
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The present study provides the first known qualitative examination of heterosexual undergraduate men’s conceptualization and experiences of the bromance, outside research on cinematic representations. Drawing on semi-structured interviews with 30 undergraduate men enrolled in one of four undergraduate sport-degree programs at one university in the United Kingdom, we find these heterosexual men to be less reliant on traditional homosocial boundaries, which have previously limited male same-sex friendships. Contrary to the repressive homosociality of the 1980s and 1990s, these men embrace a significantly more inclusive, tactile, and emotionally diverse approach to their homosocial relationships. All participants provided comparable definitions of what a bromance is and how it operates, all had at least one bromantic friend, and all suggested that bromances had more to offer than a standard friendship. Participants described a bromance as being more emotionally intimate, physically demonstrative, and based upon unrivalled trust and cohesion compared to their other friendships. Participants used their experiences with romances and familial relations as a reference point for considering the conditions of a bromance. Results support the view that declining homophobia and its internalization has had significantly positive implications for male expression and intimacy. Conclusions are made about the bromance’s potential to improve men’s mental health and social well-being because participants indicate these relationships provide a space for emotional disclosure and the discussion of potentially traumatic and sensitive issues.
... In addition, the female subjects' verbal content was rated as more intimate than that of the males (Chelune, 1976a). Plog (1965) and Lewis (1978) suggested that the conflicting findings concerning sex differences may be the result of using samples from differing geographic areas where sex roles and socio-cultural expectations varied. While this geographical hypothesis may not be tenable today, the inconsistencies in the literature suggest that more is involved in self-disclosure sex differences than simple gender. ...
... This may have attenuated any effects on intimacy and perhaps allowed a more subtle effect of sex on rate of disclosure to appear. Lewis (1978) Jourard (1971) and Chelune, Skiffington, and Williams (1981) (1979) which indicated that mixed-sex client-therapist pairings resulted in higher levels of self-disclosure than same sex pairings. ...
... Estas diferencias en la educación de las emociones, conlleva diferencias en las habilidades entre niños y niñas. Así, las niñas son más capaces de expresar y comunicar sus sentimientos , mientras que los niños son educados desde el punto de vista social a evitar o minimizar la expresión de sus emociones (Hall, 1978, 1984; Lewis 1978; Mc Clure, 2000; Rosenthal, Hall, DiMateo, Rogers y Archer, 1979). ...
... Estas diferencias en la educación de las emociones, conlleva diferencias en las habilidades entre niños y niñas. Así, las niñas son más capaces de expresar y comunicar sus sentimientos, mientras que los niños son educados desde el punto de vista social a evitar o minimizar la expresión de sus emociones (Hall, 1978Hall, , 1984Lewis 1978;Mc Clure, 2000; Rosenthal, Hall, DiMateo, Rogers y Archer, 1979).lizan medidas de autoinforme lo hacen, sobre todo, con muestras universitarias. ...
... While friendship is primarily experienced by individuals as a complex psychological phenomenon (Poplawski 1989), its dimensions, behavioral requisites, and prohibitions are nonetheless socially defined and regulated. However, during much of the twentieth century, investigations of friendship between men have focused on what is missing, by contrast to what exists in women's friendships, namely, emotional and physical intimacy (Lewis 1978;Pleck 1975). ...
... Sociological research from this era highlights that men began to emotionally distance themselves from other men (Komarovsky 1974;Pleck 1975). Lewis (1978) wrote that men " . . . have not known what it means to love and care for a friend without the shadow of some guilt and fear of peer ridicule" (p. ...
Article
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In this research, utilizing data from thirty semistructured interviews, we examine how heterosexual undergraduate men compare their experiences of bromances to that of their romantic relationships (romances). We find that the increasingly intimate, emotive, and trusting nature of bromances offers young men a new social space for emotional disclosure, outside of traditional heterosexual relationships. Participants state that the lack of boundaries and judgment in a bromance is expressed as emotionally rivalling the benefits of a heterosexual romance. Our participants mostly determined that a bromance offered them elevated emotional stability, enhanced emotional disclosure, social fulfilment, and better conflict resolution, compared to the emotional lives they shared with girlfriends. Thus, this research provides an empirically grounded conceptual framework for understanding men’s view of close homosocial relationships in comparison to their romantic relationship in the twenty-first century.
... Within this overarching definition, components of intimacy can be realized in various ways. Emotional intimacy includes exchanging feelings with another person, which is deeply rooted in the value of self-disclosure (Lewis, 1978). Cognitive intimacy includes exchanging thoughts and sharing ideas with another person (Blieszner & De Vries, 2001). ...
... The social exchange framework can be applied to sexuality and relationships from the perspective of negotiating resources to fulfill a need (Sprecher, 1998). Intimacy can be exchanged for sex, love, affirming emotions, time, money and gifts (Lewis, 1978;Sprecher, 1998). Viewing intimacy as a transactional process suggests that the relationship consists of an input of investments, output of rewards, and reciprocity. ...
Article
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Research regarding intimacy within Black relationships is often deficiency-focused, reinforcing negative stereotypes about Black people's capacity to relate in sexual and romantic relationships. Utilizing social exchange theory and social learning theory as a combined framework, we examined intimacy-related narratives of 18 Black college students during their first and last sexual encounters. A thematic analysis constructed five themes: (a) limited knowledge of intimacy, (b) internal barriers to non-sexual intimacy, (c) external barriers to non-sexual intimacy, (d) seeking an emotional connection, and (e) experiencing intimacy. Findings suggest varying perspectives and experiences related to intimacy. Intimacy barriers and facilitators are discussed.
... In previous research concerning friendship, it has been found that women were more likely than men to have intimate confidants (Booth, 1972;Booth & Hess, 1974;Lowenthal & Haven, 1968), and that women's friendships were affectively richer (Williams, 1959). Conversely, men have been found to have difficulty with emotional intimacy (Lewis, 1978;Pleck, 1975), to have been emotionally inexpressive (Balswick & Peek, 1971; Komarovsky, 1967), and to have disclosed and received less personal information than women (Cozby, 1973; Jourard & Richman, 1963;Komarovsky, 1976). Therefore, it was expected that women in the present study would utilize their social networks more often than men for affective need fulfillment. ...
... Implicit in dyadic withdrawal theory is the assumption that each partner contributes equally to the other and that his or her contribution is fulfilling to the partner. There is, however, considerable literature on gender differences in personal relationships which established distinct differences in emotional needs and skills between men and women (Booth, 1972;Booth & Hess, 1974;Komarovsky, 1967;Lewis, 1978;Lowenthal & Haven, 1968;Pleck, 1975;Williams, 1959). Women have been shown to have needed more emotional support than men and to have been less satisfied with the support they received (Sarason, Levine, Basham & Sarason, 1983) . ...
... Revisiones como la de Sánchez-Núñez, Fernández-Berrocal, Montañés y Latorre, (2008) señalan que las mujeres prestan una mayor atención percibida hacia sus emociones frente a los hombres o que las mujeres se perciben más hábiles a la hora, no sólo de atender sus emociones, sino de comprenderlas, mientras que los hombres lo hacen en relación con el control de impulsos y la tolerancia al estrés, relacionadas con la regulación de las emociones. Estas diferencias justificadas por la desigualdad en la educación emocional, hacen que las mujeres comuniquen más sus sentimientos mientras que los hombres son socializados desde niños para evitar expresar emociones y minimizar emociones relacionadas con la vulnerabilidad, la culpa, el miedo y el dolor (Brody y Hall, 1993;Hall, 1978Hall, , 1984Lewis, 1978;McClure, 2000;Rosenthal, Hall, DiMatteo, Rogers, y Archer, 1979). De hecho, se ha demostrado que las mujeres tienen una mayor habilidad de expresar sus sentimientos y de reconocer y percibir mejor los sentimientos de los demás que los hombres (Aquino, 2003;Argyle, 1990;Hargie, Saunders y Dykson, 1995;Lafferty, 2004;Tapia y Marsh II, 2006). ...
Article
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Las actitudes sexistas continúan demandando la atención de los estudios, dada su estrecha relación con la discriminación sexual y la violencia de género. Dado que la adolescencia es una etapa evolutiva clave en el desarrollo de estas creencias nuestro objetivo es indagar quérelación tiene la inteligencia emocional sobre el mantenimiento de dichas creencias sexistas, en sus distintas manifestaciones (sexismo hostil y sexismo benévolo) como el origen de conductas más problemáticas. La muestra la componen 134 participantes de una población rural de Castilla la Mancha entre 12 a 17 años. Los instrumentos de evaluación utilizados fueron la escala de detección de sexismo en adolescentes (DSA) y la Trait Meta-Mood Scale-24 (TMMS-24). Al tener en cuenta el sexo de los participantes encontramos diferencias significativas en cuanto al mayor grado de sexismo hostil que muestran los varones frente a las mujeres, así como la estrecha relación entre una excesiva atención a las emociones en los varones y el sexismo hostil. En el caso de las mujeres una mayor capacidad de regular sus emociones, correlacionaba con una actitud sexista benévola en cuanto a su relación con los varones. Dichos resultados, se discuten por la implicación de la gestión de las emociones en la adopción de creencias y actitudes sexistas hacia el sexo opuesto. Las conclusiones extraídas de este estudio apoyan elentrenamiento en la gestión de las emociones como una de las variables clave relacionadas con el mantenimiento de actitudes sexistas.
... Most studies of male relatedness have tended to focus on dyadic relations, and the accompanying tensions of male-to-male love and desire. By common interpre- tation, the male dyad has the potential of raising immediate anxieties of homosexu- ality and may therefore limit mutual displays of physical closeness among men (Kimmel 1994;Lewis 1978). Yet the cultural framing of male bonding under the guise of fraternal relations has continually served to repudiate these tensions. ...
Article
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Male-to-male (homosocial) friendship bonds extend from the public to the private sphere. Relying on in-depth interviews from a sample of thirty Israeli men sharing a common background of military socialization, this article analyzes how male friends communicate intimacy in public spaces with diverse social and organizational settings. In contrast to the common depiction of men's joking-relationship as an attempt to maintain autonomy, the author suggests that the homosocial performance is a semi-arbitrary, ambivalent language of relatedness endorsing closeness. The men participate in humorous interactions involving idioms, nicknames, curses, nonsense talk, aggressive gestures, and embraces. These verbal and bodily expressions send an unclear message that teases the participants and draws them to engage deeper in the interaction, generating a dynamic of seduction. The men's expressive interactions are staged publicly under the guise of instrumental action. It is suggested that although this homosocial staging attempts to erase hints of homoeroticism, it is this very erasure that produces desire as its emergent outcome. Set against the backdrop of instrumental activity, this performance of pleasure serves to empower and privilege male social and organizational networks.
... This conceptually conflicts with research suggesting that straight men are dissuaded from disclosing to other men owing to fears of being viewed as gay (Lewis, 1978), and research suggesting that men only pursue friendships with women owing to sexual attraction and desire (Bleske-Rechek & Buss, 2001). The gay men in this study were not afraid of being viewed as gay by other gay men. 9 Moreover, the gay men did not sexually desire straight women over gay men. ...
Article
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This study examined how partner preferences differ across interpersonal contexts (romantic attachment and relationship expectations) based on sexuality and biological sex. Participants completed measures of attachment and behavioral expectations for their romantic partners, cross-sex friends, and same-sex friends. The attachment anxiety results revealed an effect of sexuality: Single heterosexuals scored higher for their cross-sex friends than same-sex friends, single lesbian/gay individuals scored higher for same-sex friends than cross-sex friends, and bisexuals' attachment anxiety was equal regardless of friends' biological sex. The behavioral expectation results revealed an effect of biological sex indicating that, regardless of sexuality, women are preferred over men for emotional/social needs. Finally, an interaction revealed that lesbians have higher expectations for their girlfriends/wives than straight men have for theirs.
... Girls might find competition unusual and incongruous with the norms of their groups, whereas boys may expect competitive behavior in prospective friends and not be upset by it. Competitiveness is often blamed for the lack of intimacy and depth in men's friendships (e.g., Lewis, 1978). However, it is possible that boys and men may use less-hostile forms of competition to help them achieve a closeness that they are not ready to verbalize. ...
Article
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The nature and levels of competition in which children and adolescents engage have important social and educational consequences and may be linked to their social competence and interpersonal relations. In the social-psychological literature, competition is typically viewed as producing negative outcomes at both the individual and group levels (e.g., Sparkes, 1991; Thomas, 1978; Walster, Walster, & Berscheid, 1978). Competition, as either a goal or behavior, is frequently portrayed as detrimental to group cohesion and as negatively affecting friendships and other relations. However, it is often viewed, with some reluctance, as also necessary for individual achievement and success (e.g., Domino, 1992, 2000; Thomas, 1978). Cooperation, on the other hand, is described as necessary for the maintenance of friendships and for the successful attainment of group goals (e.g., Foster, 1984; Gelb & Jacobsen, 1988; Thomas, 1978). In some cultures, however, competition is considered by some to be an essential part of a child’s development and necessary for the acquisition of a variety of social skills (LeTendre, 1996; Richard et al., 2002). This chapter begins with a selective examination of contemporary definitions of competition. Recently, more complex views of competition and cooperation have emerged that consider the terms as existing on a variety of levels that are context-specific, interwoven with cognitive and biological factors, and culturally mediated. These definitions will be introduced later and may eventually help revise the image of competition as either totally evil or healthy and also add nuance to the characterization of cultures as either competitive or noncompetitive. © Cambridge University Press 2006 and Cambridge University Press, 2009.
... Other studies have found similar results in terms of men identifying self-disclosure as the primary communication behavior that facilitates closeness in friendships even though they often report relatively low levels of self-disclosure in their own same-sex friendships (Holmstrom, 2009;Reisman, 1990). In fact, more than four decades of research on male self-disclosure has demonstrated that men avoid revealing personal information about themselves primarily due to their own desires to appear more masculine, more heterosexual, and less feminine (Fehr, 2004;Lewis, 1978;Snell, Belk, Flowers, & Warren, 1988). Consequently, we reasoned that masculinity and homophobia would negatively predict self-disclosure in men's same-sex friendships, while femininity would positively predict self-disclosure (see Figure 1). ...
Article
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This study tested the degree to which self-disclosure mediates the effects of gender orientation and homophobia on relational satisfaction, closeness, and commitment in men’s same-sex friendships. Participants included 211 men from the southwest region of the US, who reported on either geographically close (n = 107) or long distance same-sex friendships (n = 104). Results indicated that self-disclosure mediates the positive effect of femininity on satisfaction, closeness, and commitment in men’s same-sex friendships. Self-disclosure also mediates the negative, indirect effects of homophobia on all three relational outcomes. Tests of structural invariance provided no evidence to suggest that the indirect effects of femininity and homophobia on all three relational outcomes vary as a function of geographic distance.
... According to the Social Penetration Theory, physical intimacy encompasses sex and other physical expressions of love (Hu et al., 2006). In behavioural terms Lewis defined " emotional intimacy " as mutual self-disclosure and other kinds of verbal sharing, like declarations of liking or loving the other, and demonstrations of attention such as hugging and non-genital caressing (Lewis, 1984). Thus, our analysis was focused on finding these expressions of intimate relationships in a number of media texts within three subgenres: (1) newspapers, (2) magazines, and (3) web publications. ...
Research
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With the goal to fill in a gap in research of the media representations of human-robot intimate relationships, this study analyzes the non-fiction media portrayal of intimate human-robot relationships (HRR), considering physical and emotional intimacy. An additional comparison analysis with intimate HRR representations in fan-fiction narratives presents a fuller picture of the state of the art. The paper shows that depiction of intimate HRR strongly depends on the real-life events that trigger more press coverage. We found three clusters of articles describing different types of relationships. They were generally quite vaguely described, but in general evaluated in a neutral or positive way, with only few negative comments. The profiles of both humans and robots are rather stereotyped with humans being mostly male, lonely and lacking of social skills, while robots being sexually functional humanoid females, able to show feelings, and whose character and appearance can be customized. Similarities and differences with fan-fiction stories are presented as well. Readers must be aware of a possible bias caused by the homogeneity between the content of the articles from the sample, the size of the sample, and the quality of the data. Future research can study the content of media in different languages, or can focus on topics related to the impact of HRR on human-human interaction.
... Both sub-groups were exposed to the common masculine ideals and messages that encourage and pressurize men to be emotionally restrained, assertive, competitive, aggressive and independent (Kiersky and Blazina 2006). By contrast, women are socialized to be emotionally expressive, containing and nourishing (Hearn and Morgan 1990;Kaftal 1991;Lewis 1978;Mintz and O'neil 1990). ...
Article
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This paper describes the process of change in attitudes of male social workers’ towards themselves and towards their clients who are male perpetrators of partner violence (PV). The process reveals a reconstruction of the therapist’s beliefs concerning key elements in their work related being, such as masculinity, aggression, perception of their clients and their own male identities. The sample includes 15 male social workers that worked with battering men in social services. Data collection was performed through semi-structured interviews. The therapists’ process of questioning the popular and accepted demonization of violent men clarifies what differentiates them from their clients, but also opens an authentic pathway to examining similarities they share as men, without the need to be politically correct or to conform. The implications for practitioners working in batterers’ intervention programs are addressed.
... Men displaying affection or affinity for other men were considered gays and due action initiated. This stymied the formation of homosocial bonds and psychologically prevented men from loving, caring and emotionally depending on other men (Lewis 1978). ...
Article
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Traditionally Hindi films produced by Bollywood are not known to have taken an empathetic view of the plight of India's queer community. Projecting them as subjects of mockery, as aberrations and villainous have been the predominated approach of filmmakers. Given the power of the medium, such thoughts have percolated and influenced outlook of majority towards the gender minority. Yet there have been the odd films which contrast this oft adopted approach of Bollywood filmmakers. Though gender scholars have engaged in homoerotic reading of such films and unearthed underlying homosexual subtexts, feasibility of a different discourse about such films stands strong. By analysing films like Silsila, Dosti, Sholay, Dil Chahta Hai, Zindegi Na Milegi Dobara and Rang De Basanti this article relooks at tenability of homoerotic subtexts of these films. Specifically employing the theoretical framework of bromance, a form of homosocial bonding between individuals of the same sex, this article counters the conclusion of scholars about blurring of homosociality and homoeroticism in respect to characters portrayed in the selected films. This article argues that bromance films, made during the 20th century and thus far in 21st century, attempts to dismantle homohysteria and homophobia. Intentions of such filmmakers were to sensitize viewers about romantic same-sex bonding, not necessarily falling within the purview of sexual attraction or homosexuality. They wanted to convince male viewers being emotionally and physically intimate with closely bonded friend, does not make someone gay or feminine. As such they aspired to lay the foundation of a liberal and inclusive social order with enhanced scope of discussion and deliberation about respectful social assimilation of queer individuals.
... University of Wisconsin, Madison[I]ntimacy is a slippery concept. For some theorists, an intimate relationship is defined through overt behaviors such as selfdisclosure, declarations of liking and loving, and hugging and caressing (Lewis, 1978). Others prefer to define intimacy by strong, positive emotions like trust (Wheeless, 1976). ...
... Participants in this study believed that for men, this process of 'opening up' was easier when working with a male CHW.Seemingly contrary to the aforementioned findings is a body of literature that suggests that the way that men relate to one another is constrained by hegemonic norms of what it means to be a man. This literature suggests that socialization into traditional masculine attributes such as avoidance of openness, displays of personal vulnerability and other 'feminine' traits hinders emotional intimacy between men(Lewis 1978). ...
Article
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Community health workers (CHWs) play a central role in the provision of HIV care in South Africa, and people receiving such community-based adherence support have considerably better health outcomes. As with other forms of care work, the majority of CHWs are women. HIV vulnerability is also gendered, with women being more likely to contract HIV, while men living with HIV are more likely to die of AIDS-related illness. This article explores the relational gender dynamics of eight Cape Town–based CHWs and their male clients. Derived from multiple semistructured interviews, it engages the perspectives of CHWs, men living with HIV, and HIV and masculinities activists to explore HIV-positive men’s gender preferences for CHWs, and how these pairings may support their health and well-being. Reasons cited for gender-concordant preferences include gendered power dynamics, comfort in sharing intimate health information of someone of the same gender, and, in some cases, negative associations of women as untrustworthy gossips.
... Sociologen Donald P. Levy diskuterar samma problematik och även han kommer fram till att en av anledningarna till att män undviker djupare relationer med andra män är rädslan för sårbarhet (Levy 2005:202). Liknande resultat uppvisades redan på 1970-talet i en studie av vita medelklassmän gjord av psykologen Robert A. Lewis (1978). ...
Thesis
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English title: "A Glitching Batman: How vurnerability is discussed and negotiated in relation to conceptions of masculinity during a men's dinner" The aim of this study is to examine the way vulnerability among men is discussed and negotiated in relation to their notion of masculinity during a “killmiddag” (literally: dinner for boys). It also seeks to find in what way the participants relate to each other and the group in this specific context which in itself questions gender norms. The Swedish initiative “killmiddag”, launched in 2016, comes with a set of themes and discussion guides. This study is comprised of a group interview with three participants conducted in the formula of a regular “killmiddag” and two additional interviews with men who have previous experience with arranging these events. The study finds that the participants constantly relate to gender norms and discuss how they find it awkward to show sadness and talk about complex emotions with other men. They attribute this to a learned behaviour from both their upbringings, interactions with other men and the way norms are communicated through commercial mass culture. The study concludes that the participants show increased male vulnerability and sensitivity but at the same time show signs of conforming to some of the gender norms they are criticizing. By identifying with and validating each other the participants seem to practice vulnerability in order to better fit in with the group.
... This conceptually conflicts with research suggesting that straight men are dissuaded from disclosing to other men owing to fears of being viewed as gay (Lewis, 1978), and research suggesting that men only pursue friendships with women owing to sexual attraction and desire (Bleske-Rechek & Buss, 2001). The gay men in this study were not afraid of being viewed as gay by other gay men. 9 Moreover, the gay men did not sexually desire straight women over gay men. ...
Article
This study examined how partner preferences differ across interpersonal contexts (romantic attachment and relationship expectations) based on sexuality and biological sex. Participants completed measures of attachment and behavioral expectations for their romantic partners, cross-sex friends, and same-sex friends. The attachment anxiety results revealed an effect of sexuality: Single heterosexuals scored higher for their cross-sex friends than same-sex friends, single lesbian/gay individuals scored higher for same-sex friends than cross-sex friends, and bisexuals’ attachment anxiety was equal regardless of friends’ biological sex. The behavioral expectation results revealed an effect of biological sex indicating that, regardless of sexuality, women are preferred over men for emotional/social needs. Finally, an interaction revealed that lesbians have higher expectations for their girlfriends/wives than straight men have for theirs.
Article
Differences in friendships by sex have been suggested, but little empirical data pertain to the nature and development of men's friendships. Fifty-eight American, college-educated, employed men were interviewed and compared by age (25–34; 35–50) and marital status. While most men valued interpersonal qualities in friends, the factors aiding in or inhibiting friendship formation and satisfaction with current friendships varied by groups. General patterns of decreasing numbers of friends from childhood into adulthood and greater difficulty forming friends with age emerged. Although friendships with men outnumbered those with women, attitudes toward the importance of friendships with each sex varied by groups. Findings are discussed in relation to traditional and changing male roles.
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The family therapy literature has generally ignored the sociopolitical realities of men of color in prescribing treatment approaches for families of different racial and ethnic backgrounds. Therapists of a feminist persuasion, though often more aware of the influence of larger systems on women and men, are unfortunately not as familiar with recent developments in research, theory and praxis as these apply to Puerto Rican males. This article will outline some of my work in this area as well as attempt to present some personal reflections on my experiences in "the movement."
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On the basis of a face‐needs model, the present study predicted that the disclosure of some emotions would be valued over others. Data from 20 married couples were used to test the model. The study examined four types of emotions (pleasant, vulnerable, hostile, and regret) and two sources of emotions (one's spouse and others outside the marriage). In particular, it investigated the frequency with which these emotions are reportedly felt, disclosed, and valued, and the frequency with which these emotions are actually disclosed. Face‐honoring, face‐compensating, and face‐neutral emotions were disclosed more frequently and preferred more than face‐threatening disclosures. Comparisons were also made between husbands and wives. Overall husbands and wives did not differ in their actual disclosure of emotions, but wives reported that they disclose more emotions and that they value the disclosure of emotions more than husbands.
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A face‐needs model of emotional expressiveness is used to explain and predict the degree to which an emotion will be expressed or understated. This model proposes a three‐part hierarchy for emotional disclosures: non‐face‐threatening, mixed‐face‐value, and face‐threatening. The hierarchy was confirmed for both males and females and generally was supported across two relationship types: best friends and acquaintances. The possibility that relationship level may influence the face‐value of some emotional disclosures is explored. Females reported greater disclosure than males, and emotions are disclosed more fully to best friends than to acquaintances.
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Despite a general consensual definition of intimacy, few attempts have been made to clarify the different aspects of this broad behavioral category. This paper is an attempt to formulate typologies of intimacy so as to better examine the varied phenomena of intimate relationships. It treats intimacy as a process by which a special kind of definition of the situation evolves. Such process typically involves negotiation and communication which vary with situations. Also, the intensity of the actor's emotional involvement and expected duration of the relationship also implies qualitatively different types of intimacy.
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In this article I describe the accounts of a group of parents with transgendered adolescents. I look specifically at how the parents try to build an intelligible story of the young people’s gender identity and how their story shapes their coping strategies. For the qualitative study on which this article is based, I interviewed adolescents with a well-established cross-gender identification and their parents from families referred to a specialist NHS service. The first-person reports were analysed using grounded theory methodology. There were a number of suggestive findings. First, communication about gender identity issues within the family and outside was handled with enormous care; second, it was clear that these parents are aware that their response to the gender problems is a deeply moral issue; third, there was an iterative relationship between the activities of making-meaning and accepting (or not) the child’s claims, and a similar interaction between the activity of meaning-making and the tasks of practical coping; fourth, a belief in biological causation of transgenderism was associated with a more benign view of the adolescent; and fifth, there were interesting differences between the accounts of mothers and fathers. The findings of the study hopefully illuminate clinical encounters, stimulate further research into how families cope with this unusual predicament and encourage reflexive thinking in practitioners in related fields.
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The article proposes intimacy theory as the basis of services relationships communicated by advertising. It advocates intimacy theory as more generalizable across services marketing situations than either exchange or seduction theory. Drawing from psychology and social psychology, it presents intimacy attributes relevant to services marketing—the “five C's” of communication, caring, commitment, comfort, and conflict resolution. It then streamlines Levinger's five-stage model of intimate relationships into one with four stages—acquaintance, buildup, continuation, and dissolution. Dissolution collapses Levinger's stages of “deterioration” and “endings” into a multidimensional phase that includes four consumer responses adapted from Rusbult's work. These responses are “exit,” “voice,” “negative WOM,” and “loyalty.” The article concludes with suggestions for future research on intimacy skills and individual differences in intimacy needs.
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The authors explored the relationship of gender, gender role identity, and type of relationship—same-sex friendship, cross-sex friendship, or romantic relationship—to relationship behaviors and beliefs among 429 college students. They discuss implications for individual and group counseling, consultation, and primary prevention on college campuses.
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Drawn from in-depth qualitative research, Queer Company provides the first extended, academic analysis of gay men's workplace friendships, offering theoretical and empirical insights into a subject that is timely and important. Although theoretically framed in poststructuralism and the sociology of friendship, this book also draws on feminism, organisation studies, gender and sexuality studies to explore the diverse roles and meanings of gay men's workplace friendships. Shedding light on the significance of workplace friendship for those who participate in them, particularly in terms of how these workplace relationships can help gay men to construct meaningful identities and selves, Queer Company examines the manner in which gay men's workplace friendships are established, developed and organised, whilst considering the effects of organisational contexts upon friendship processes. A detailed investigation of the links between friendship, sexuality, gender and intimacy in the workplace, this book will appeal to scholars of management studies as well as sociologists with interests in gender and sexuality, the sociology of organisations and cultural studies.
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This study examined the characteristics of partners of problem gamblers. The study participants were 440 partners, who sought help in a 12-month period from the publicly-funded Break Even counselling services in the state of Victoria, Australia. The analyses revealed that the partners of problem gamblers were far from an homogenous group, with having to face the consequences of another person’s problematic gambling seeming to be the only common characteristic. Almost one-third (29.6%) of clients were male and with the exception of financial problems, which were more likely to be reported by females, the presenting problems were similar. When compared to all Victorians aged 15 years and over, greater proportions of male and female partners of problem gamblers were participants in the labour force.
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How do correctional officers (COs) adhere to changing workplace philosophy and practices during interactions with inmates? This study explores COs’ perceptions and interactions during organizational change to examine how different factors (such as gender, position/rank, and reason for interaction) affect implementation. Using observations and interviews with COs, our data suggest gender-based differences in CO adherence when implementing redesigned workplace practices. Gendered adherence to using evidence-based practices within custody environments is potentially impactful on the success of the reform. Future training and skill development should address these gender-based findings to improve adherence to organizational change processes.
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The present research investigated the relationship between dysfunctional relationship beliefs (DRB) and alexithymia with a particular focus on gender among Turkish college students. Results indicated that different DRB predicts alexithymia in females and males. Intimacy avoidance predicted an increase of alexithymia scores in females, whereas intimacy avoidance and unrealistic relationship expectations predicted an increase of alexithymia scores in males. The results highlighted the association of intimacy avoidance with difficulty identifying and describing feelings in both genders, stronger in males when compared to other two DRB, namely unrealistic relationship expectations and mind reading. The results suggested that alexithymia is related to different forms of DRB in females and males, indicating potential intervention strategies and patterns in females’ and males’ alexithymia.
Chapter
The popularity of the bromance genre in television and film has attracted the attention of the general public as well as those interested in popular culture. Originally aimed at a male audience and with roots in ancestral male bonding, it has also attracted the attention of a female audience interested in the romanticization of the bond between two men. The resulting new genre is typically referred to as slash fiction (romantic stories involving expropriated male media characters) and has a mainly female audience. These fan-produced stories contain plots, tropes, and character features that reflect female evolutionary priorities and strategies. In many ways, it highlights the essential features of romance, those it shares with traditional romances, such as the focus on the development of long-term love relationships. In this chapter, we discuss the history and appeal of the bromance for men as well as its more recent manifestation in slash stories for a female audience once published in zines and now in online forums such as Archive of Our Own.
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Recent research has highlighted British heterosexual men espousing gay-friendly attitudes, and adopting ‘softer’ gendered behaviours. In contexts where overt homophobia is increasingly stigmatized, it is possible that these public avowals of attitudes do not correspond with privately held beliefs. In this article, I draw on a two-year covert insider-ethnography of undergraduate men to investigate men’s private attitudes related to homosexuality and their embodied masculinities. In these contexts, these men were found to be as emotionally open, inclusive and homosocially tactile as they were in public. Drawing on Goffman’s notion of front and backstage, I contend that these men’s masculine identities are ‘authentic’ components of themselves, and are more than strategic presentations of self.
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When Eric Anderson published inclusive masculinity theory (IMT), it was largely situated in relationships he observed with first-year undergraduate students. Here, he noticed a striking difference in behaviours and attitudes between the adolescent heterosexual men in the United States, compared to those in the UK. Since IMT’s inception, there has been a great deal of further enquiry into the social lives of young heterosexual men in both of these nations. What is undertheorized, however, is whether the intense emotional and physical tactility of homosocial relationships described in this literature will occur with current and future generations. Nor do we know if men described as exhibiting inclusive masculinities at university continue to do so – and to what degree – as they enter the workplace and develop family ties. This research utilizes 10 semi-structured interviews with the same participants from Anderson’s initial studies, showing that they continue to strive for the same emotional intimacy with male friends that they achieved during their time at university. Half also carried this behaviour into the friendships developed with other men since graduating from university. Thus, this research contributes to IMT as it offers preliminary analysis into the friendships of inclusive men, after their time at university.
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Although it has been assumed that the greatest friendships are those among men, there is some empirical evidence to the contrary. In this article the antecedents of male friendships are traced and solutions are suggested for reversing the alienation among men.
Book
Research has shown that since the turn of the millennia, matters have rapidly improved for gays and lesbians in sport. Where gay and lesbian athletes were merely tolerated a decade ago, today they are celebrated. This book represents the most comprehensive examination of the experiences of gays and lesbians in sport ever produced. Drawing on interviews with openly gay and lesbian athletes in the US and the UK, as well as media accounts, the book examines the experiences of 'out' men and women, at recreational, high school, university and professional levels, in addition to those competing in gay sports leagues. Offering a new approach to understanding this important topic, Out in Sport is essential reading for students and scholars of sport studies, LGBT studies and sociology, as well as sports practitioners and trainers. © 2016 Eric Anderson, Rory Magrath and Rachael Bullingham. All rights reserved.
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People vary in how willingly and how often they discuss their emotional experiences with others. A new Emotional Self-Disclosure Scale was used in three separate investigations to examine (Study I) men's and women's willingness to discuss their emotions with parents and therapists, (Study II) the impact of gender and culture on emotional disclosures to male and female friends and therapists, and (Study III) the impact of gender and the masculine role on willingness to emotionally disclose to parents and therapists. The results indicated that (a) female disclosers and female disclosure recipients, particularly mothers, were associated with greater willingness to emotionally disclose; (b) females from Mexico reported the most extensive disclosure of their emotions; and (c) the restrictive emotionality and inhibited affection aspects of the masculine role were negatively related to men's and women's willingness to be open and revealing about their emotional experiences, whereas the success dedication aspect of the masculine role was positively related to women's willingness to be emotionally open. The discussion focuses on the implications of the current findings and the relationship context of people's emotional disclosures.
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The aim of the study was to investigate masculine role Identifications amongst male volunteer peer counsellors. Based on focus group interviews with young men (n=12) aged 16 to 18, the Juxtapositioning of masculinity and the role of counsellor was explored. The data were analysed by means of critical thematic analysis. The boys displayed considerable anxiety concerning how they might be perceived as counsellors and engaged in two main interlinked discursive strategies in order to retain an alignment with the masculine. Firstly, the young men worked hard to make associations between dominant masculine identifications and occupying the role of peer counseller and emphasized their masculine 'credit'. Secondly, they attempted to masculinize the actual activity of counselling, in part by divorcing it from Its associations with the feminine.
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Tested theory that adherence to the traditional male gender role and help-seeking attitudes and behaviors are related. Ss were 401 undergraduate men who completed measures of help-seeking attitudes and behaviors, attitudes toward the stereotypic male role, and gender role conflict factors (i.e., success/power/competition, restrictive emotionality, and restrictive affectionate behavior between men). Canonical analysis and regression indicated that traditional attitudes about the male role, concern about expressing emotions, and concern about expressing affection toward other men were each significantly related to negative attitudes toward seeking professional psychological assistance. Restrictive emotionality also significantly predicted decreased past help-seeking behavior and decreased likelihood of future help seeking. The implications of these results for theory, research, and counseling practice are discussed.
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Approximately 700 entries, in A to Z format, dealing in depth with such major topics as: self, identity, and development in adolescence adolescents' social and personal relationships adolescents in social institutions and adolescent psychopathology and mental health.
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Data from the 785 interviews of married and never married respondents in a sample of the adult population of San Francisco are presented by marital status. On most of our indices of adjustment it was found that more single men are maladjusted than single women, and more single men are maladjusted than married men, thus confirming and enlarging on the results of other studies. These findings were discussed in terms of two general types of explanatory factors: selective factors and reactive factors. Because of the greater freedom of choice men have in the marriage market, it seems likely that those among them who are either unable or unwilling to get married were more psychologically impaired to begin with. Evidence from our data for this argument is the higher proportion of childhood stress among single men than among any other group. Explanations in terms of reactive factors suggest that without marriage men, more than women, have a tendency to become socially isolated and antisocial. While our data show that single men are in fact more socially isolated and more antisocial than single women (and than married men) it is not possible to say whether this is due to reaction or to selection. Of interest is the fact that in some ways single men are more "masculine" than married men (in their lack of moral strictness, and in the value they place on being free to do as they choose) while in other ways they are less "masculine" (in their greater passivity). Similarly, single women are in some ways more "feminine" than married women (in their moral strictness) and in other ways are less "feminine" (in their lesser degree of phobic reactions and in their greater dominance).
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The abstract for this document is available on CSA Illumina.To view the Abstract, click the Abstract button above the document title.
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This study reports patterns of self-disclosure of male college seniors to each parent, siblings, and closest male and female friends. The 62 males were randomly selected from the senior class of an Ivy League college. Having filled out a 56-item self-disclosure questionnaire, the students were interviewed about their motivation for disclosure and reserve. The results bear upon generational, kinship and sex patterns of communication. Some findings are consistent with earlier studies of self-disclosure, whereas others appear to reflect some recent changes in male-female relationships.
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A statewide sample of 234 individuals, 70 years of age or older, was employed to assess the nature and prominence of intimate friendships in the social world of aged men and women. Contrary to stereotypes, men had more frequent social contacts than women, but a smaller proportion of their interaction was with intimate friends. There was little sexual differentiation in the characteristics of intimate friendships in late life, although it is suggested that the motivation for formation and maintenance of intimate ties may differ for aged men and women.
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The position is taken in this paper that inexpressiveness is a culturally produced temperament trait which is characteristic of many American males. It is suggested that in growing up, boys are taught that expressiveness is inconsistent with masculinity. Inexpressive males come in two varieties: the cowboy who, although he does have feelings toward women, does not or cannot express them; and the playboy who is a non-feeling man void of even unexpressed emotional feelings toward women. In light of the increase in importance of the companionship and affection function in marriage, across-the-board inexpressiveness of married males (that is, inexpressiveness toward all women, wife included) can be highly dysfunctional to their marital relationships, while selective inexpressiveness (that is, inexpressiveness toward women other than their wives) may be just as functional to maintaining these relationships.
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9 male graduate students were tested with a self-disclosure questionnaire and questionnaires measuring degree of liking and degree to which each knew each of the others. The amount of self-disclosure was highly correlated with the degree to which they knew the others and with the amount the others had disclosed to them. Liking was only slightly correlated with disclosure. The males in this study disclosed significantly less than did a sample of nursing college faculty in a previous study. From Psyc Abstracts 36:01:3HJ78J. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
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Proposes a role concept approach to the description, analysis, and explanation of family behavior. Part 1 offers a perspective by reviewing and delineating the role concept and discussing measurement of the role construct. Part 2--normal behavior and psychological properties--includes discussion of sexual, recreational, kinship, and therapeutic roles. Part 3 considers family roles as social exchange. (PsycINFO Database Record (c) 2012 APA, all rights reserved)
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This article explores the meaning and dynamics of male homophobia, the irrational fear or intolerance of gay men, and relates this phenomenon to the experience of the male role. Literature on homophobia is reviewed from both the standpoint of socialized belief systems within the culture and from the perspective of individual personality characteristics. Issues in defining homophobia are discussed, and the pervasiveness, manifestations, and correlates of homophobia are examined. Male homophobia is observed to serve the function of keeping men within the boundaries of traditionally defined roles. The experiences of gay men are used as a basis to suggest possible creative role violation for all men.
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Previous research by Bem has indicated that androgynous individuals of both sexes display "masculine" independence when under pressure to conform as well as "feminine" nurturance when interacting with a kitten. In contrast, sex-typed individuals were low in one or both of these behaviors. The two studies reported here were designed to replicate the low nurturance of the masculine male and to clarify the unexpected finding that feminine females were low in both independence and nurturance. In the first study subjects interacted with a human infant, and in the second study they listened to a lonely student. Taken together, the results of these two studies conceptually replicated the low nurturance of the masculine male and demonstrated that the low nurturance of the feminine female does not extend to her interaction with humans. Finally, evidence was presented in support of Spence, Helmreich, and Stapp's distinction between "androgynous" individuals, who are high in both masculinity and feminity, and "undifferentiated" individuals, who are low in both of these characteristics.
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The present study examined the relationship between masculinity-femininity and personality. 213 male volunteers were administered a test battery including the Strong Vocational Interest Blank, the Sixteen Factor Personality Questionnaire, the General Aptitude Test Battery, and the Allport-Vernon-Lindzey Study of Values. Measures of masculinity-femininity derived from the Strong differentially related to personality, values, and general aptitudes. While masculinity was associated with aloofness, unpretentiousness and a tough poise, it was also associated with guilt proneness, anxiety, and neurotic tendencies.
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Description of the investigation, enumeration of the questions included, the scores with differences between groups (influence of race, sex, "target-differences," aspects of sex).
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Male Ss selected as highly masculine and relatively feminine in interests during late adolescence were evaluated on personality and social characteristics in interviews during their late thirties. "As adolescents, the highly masculine interest Ss were socially successful and apparently emotionally well adjusted, but failed to develop attributes of sociability and outgoingness they may encounter frustrations." The relatively feminine group manifested more of the "emotional-expressive" role characteristics in adulthood. Characteristics of social orientation during adolescence may "provide the bases for future social and vocational success."
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Behavior of male and female 7- to 8-year-old, 14- to 16-year-old, and college triads was compared in a competitive board game. Three power patterns were used: all three players equal, all three different but no one stronger than the other two in combination, and one player all-powerful. Coalitions were permitted. Female triads at the three age levels do not differ significantly in degree of accommodative strategy, but an age progression occurs for male triads, with the youngest similar to females and the college students marked by the highest degree of exploitative strategy.
Male-female interpersonal styles in all male, all female and mixed groups Beyond sex roles
  • E Aries
The male sex role: Our culture’s blueprint of manhood, and what it’s done for us lately The forty-nine percent majority: The male sex role
  • R Brannon
MasculinelFeminine or human
  • J Chafetz
Homosexual encounter in all-male groups New perspectives on encounter groups
  • D Clark
Ambivalence: The socialization of women Women in sexist society
  • J Bardwick
  • E Douvan
Thoughts on men's oppression
  • DeGolia
Why aren’t we talking? MS
  • M F Fasteau
The transparent self
  • S Jourard
Sex differences in the cooperative and competitive behaviors of nursery school children
  • J Szal
Male-male friendship: Is brotherhood possible Old family/New family: Interpersonal relationships
  • J Pleck
Brave new men: A basis for discussion
  • K Olstad
The front runner. Bantam Books
  • P N Warren
Why aren't we talking
  • Fasteau
Male sex role behaviors in a representative national sample
  • J Pleck
Traditional values, sex-role stereotyping and attitudes toward homosexuality. Paper presented at the meeting of the Western Psychological Association
  • S Morin
  • S Wallace
Issues for the men's movement: Summer, 1975
  • Pleck
Gay is beautiful at a distance. Paper presented at the meeting of the American Psychological Asssociation
  • S Morin
  • K Taylor
  • S Kielman
My male sex role-And ours
  • Pleck