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Parental interference and romantic love: The Romeo and Juliet effect

Authors:
Richard Driscoll
Richard Driscoll
Richard Driscoll
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Keith E Davis at University of South Carolina
Keith E Davis
Milton E. Lipetz
Milton E. Lipetz
Milton E. Lipetz
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Abstract

Administered questionnaires to 140 couples to test the hypotheses that (a) feelings of love become more highly correlated with trust and acceptance as relationships develop through time and (b) parental interference in a love relationship intensifies the feelings of romantic love between members of the couple. The 1st hypothesis was derived from the authors' conceptualization of love and distinctions between romantic and "conjugal" love. Affirmation of this hypothesis was found, supporting a methodology for operationalizing romantic love. The 2nd hypothesis was derived from classical literature and small group dynamics, and was explained in terms of the motivating effect of frustration and reactance. This hypothesis was also supported, using both cross-sectional and longitudinal change score correlations. Possible relationship dynamics associated with parental interference and trust are discussed. Findings are applied to cross-cultural variations in the occurrence of romantic love. (15 ref.)
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Journal
of
Personality
and
Social
Psychology
1972,
Vol.
24, No. 1,
1-10
PARENTAL
INTERFERENCE
AND
ROMANTIC LOVE:
THE
ROMEO
AND
JULIET
EFFECT1
RICHARD DRISCOLL,2
KEITH
E.
DAVIS,8
AND
MILTON
E.
LIPETZ*
University
of
Colorado
The two
hypotheses tested were
that
(a)
feelings
of
love become more highly
correlated with trust
and
acceptance
as
relationships develop through time;
and (6)
parental interference
in a
love
relationship intensifies
the
feelings
of
romantic love between members
of the
couple.
The first
hypothesis
was
derived
from
our
conceptualization
of
love
and
distinctions between romantic
and
"conjugal" love.
Affirmation
of
this hypothesis supported
a
methodology
for
operationalizing
romantic love.
The
second hypothesis
was
derived
from
classi-
cal
literature
and
small group
dynamics,
and was
explained
in
terms
of two
theoretical
principles, namely,
the
motivating
effect
of
frustration
and
reac-
tance. This hypothesis
was
also supported, using both cross-sectional
and
longitudinal change score correlations. Plausible alternatives
to
this hypothe-
sis
were
examined
and
then eliminated through further
analyses.
Possible
relationship dynamics associated with parental
interference
and
trust were dis-
cussed.
Finally,
the findings
were applied
to
cross-cultural variations
in the
occurrence
of
romantic love.
Romantic
love
can be
thought
of as a
dis-
tinct
form
of
interpersonal
attraction
that
occurs
between
opposite-sex
partners
under
specifiable
social
conditions.
Though
romantic
love
is
considered
to be an
important
and
meaningful
experience
by
many
members
of
our
culture,
little
research
has
been done
with
respect
to the
social
conditions
associated
with
variations
in
feelings
of
love.
This
may be
due
in
part
to the
difficulties
inherent
in at-
taining
adequate
methodological
control
over
the
process
being
studied,
and to not
having
developed
any
acceptable
conceptualization
of
what
is
meant
by
love.
The
present
study
explores
the
relation
be-
tween
one
type
of
influence
on a
heterosexual
relationship—parental
interference—and
love
in
the
relationship.
The
primary
hypothesis
was
derived
from
several
separate
but
con-
1
This
study
was
supported
by
National
Institute
of
Mental Health Grant
R03 MH
17663-01
and a
grant
from
the
University
of
Colorado's
Council
on
Research
and
Creative Work
to
Keith
E.
Davis
and
Milton
E.
Lipetz,
principal investigators.
2
Requests
for
reprints should
be
sent
to
Richard
Driscoll, Department
of
Psychology, University
of
Colorado,
Boulder, Colorado 80302.
8
Now at the
Department
of
Psychology, Living-
ston College, Rutgers University.
4
The
authors
are
indebted
to
John Foward, Paul
Rosenblatt,
Zick Rubin,
and
Robert Ryder
for
their
helpful
critical comments
on an
earlier version
of
this manuscript.
vergent
sources:
the
classical
literature
on
romantic
love,
studies
of
group
reactions
to
external
opposition,
and two
generalized theo-
retical
principles.
All of
these
considerations,
which will
be
more fully
elaborated,
lead
to
the
same
hypothesis:
parental
interference
in
a
love
relationship
intensifies
the
feelings
of
romantic
love
between
members
of the
couple.
A
balanced
presentation
should
acknowl-
edge
that
there
are
competing
theories
which
would
predict
that
parental
interference
should reduce
the
positive
aspects
of the
rela-
tionship,
and
thus
reduce feelings
of
love.
The
application
of
reinforcement
principles
would
suggest
that
romantic
feelings
that
are
not
reinforced
or are
punished
(by the
parents'
disapproval)
would
decrease
in in-
tensity.
The
frustration-aggression
principle
would
suggest
that
the
frustrations
produced
by
parental
interference would
lead
to
aggres-
sion
that
could
be
displaced
onto
one's
mate,
who
is a
safer
and
more
available
object
for
such
aggression,
and
that
such
conflict would
result
in a
diminution
of
love.
The
range
of
applicability
of
such
seemingly
incompatible
principles
is,
of
course,
a
major focus
of
this
study.
Parental
Interference
and
Romantic
Love
Classical
sources.
Romantic
love
has
been
the
subject
of
countless
literary
efforts.
... Specifically, research has shown that generally social network approval leads to more satisfying relationships while disapproval leads to less satisfying relationships, at least when that opinion comes from friends. Findings have been less consistent about the impact of parental opinion, particularly parental disapproval (Driscoll, Davis, & Lipetz, 1972;Felmlee, 2001). Thus research has yet to conclude what it is that makes an individual decide who they listen to for relationship appraisals. ...
... Other studies, however, have found that disapproval can have a positive impact on romantic relationships (Driscoll et al., 1972). The idea of disapproving parents leading a couple to become more engrossed in each other is not a new topic when it comes to fiction. ...
... Conversely, those who have found the Romeo and Juliet effect have found it to exist only for parental opinions. Parental disapproval had a positive impact on love in romantic relationships (Driscoll et al., 1972) and increased the odds of couple members remaining in the relationship (Felmlee, 2001). No such effects have ever been found for friend disapproval. ...
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