Swings and roundabouts: management of jealousy in heterosexual swinging couples.

Department of Psychology, University of Sussex, Falmer BN1 9QH, UK.
British Journal of Social Psychology (Impact Factor: 1.76). 07/2007; 46(Pt 2):459-76. DOI: 10.1348/014466606X143153
Source: PubMed

ABSTRACT Swinging involves consensual mutual involvement in extra-dyadic sex. Jealousy in swinging couples is an interesting topic for social psychological research, because it is a common and acceptable response to a romantic partner's real or imagined infidelity. This qualitative study examined the management of jealousy among four active heterosexual swinging couples living in southern England. Participants highlighted the importance of discussion and negotiation to develop a shared couple identity and shared rules and boundaries that allowed them to manage jealousy so that they could better enjoy swinging. Rather than seeking to eliminate jealousy, swingers may manage their feelings of jealousy in order to increase sexual excitement and arousal. This study adds to our understanding of jealousy among swingers and the broader issue of jealousy in intimate relationships.

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    • "Compersion is often described as the opposite of jealousy­—not just the absence of jealousy, but the experience of an opposite emotion (joy or happiness) when learning that a romantic partner is sexually involved with another lover. There is some support for the claim that jealousy and compersion are opposite emotions (Duma, 2009; Visser & McDonald, 2007). However, compersion has only been studied in relation to polyamorous relationships. "
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    ABSTRACT: Research investigating the relationship between jealousy and relationship satisfaction has yielded conflicting results (Demirtas & Donmez, 2006). Additionally, few scholars have investigated the impact of compersion (positive feelings for a significant other when he or she is involved in a rival romantic relationship) on relationship satisfaction (Duma, 2009). We predicted that there would be a significant interaction between gender, jealousy/compersion, and relationship status on relationship satisfaction. We reasoned that one's relationship goal (e.g., to be exclusively monogamous) will greatly affect how jealousy and compersion impact relationship satisfaction. Of our 302 participants, relationship status significantly interacted with emotional jealousy and compersion, such that those in monogamous relationships were happier when they had higher degrees of emotional jealousy and compersion had no effect on relationship satisfaction. In contrast, compersion positively predicted relationship satisfaction for those in non-traditional relationships. An understanding of the goals for each individual in a relationship may be important in understanding what types of emotions will positively or negatively impact one’s relationship satisfaction.
    Electronic Journal of Human Sexuality 11/2014; 17.
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    • "Secrets from the partner can be interpreted as a sign of unfaithfulness. Establishing rules that define the difference between sex and feelings prevents swinging from being perceived as a threat to the relationship (Visser and McDonald 2007). One of the primary motivations for swinging is the possibility to see one's regular partner having sex with another (Jenks 1998), and this often fulfils couples' sexual fantasies. "
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    ABSTRACT: The aim of the study was to describe the sexual scripts related to ‘swinging’ in Norwegians with particular emphasis on issues related the prevention of sexually transmitted infections (STIs). We conducted qualitative in-depth interviews with 6 men and 6 women, including 5 heterosexual couples, 1 married man, and 1 single woman, all recruited from Internet groups for swingers. The results showed that the positive outcomes of swinging included the opportunity for participants to explore their own sexuality, see their partner have sex with others, and enhance their self-esteem. Swinging allowed them to act on secret fantasies and intrapsychic scripts. Negative attitudes towards male homosexuality, fear of STIs, and fear of being exposed were reported as problematic consequences of the lifestyle. Furthermore, the swinger script was more clearly defined for clubs than for private settings. In private settings, the swinger script typically borrowed elements from available scripts outside the swingers subculture, such as friendship or dating scripts. The lack of rules to protect oneself from STIs among the older swingers, and among swingers in private settings, may represent a potential threat to sexual health.
    Sexuality & Culture 03/2014; DOI:10.1007/s12119-013-9181-6
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    • "There is no significant difference in whether males or females are more likely to cheat both online and in real life while in a serious relationship. Research has found that people actually believe that if their partner finds someone online, it is cheating and then they become jealous (de Visser and McDonald 2007; Whitty 2005). Our respondents had various reasons for cheating. "
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    ABSTRACT: This exploratory project investigated the behaviors of sexting and infidelity on the internet. The researchers placed a survey on a web site designed for married people to find sexual partners outside their marriage. Using a sample of 5,187 respondents, the study explored how people use the internet to find partners. Using both descriptive statistics and binary logistic regression analysis, the researchers found that the respondents use the internet to find real-life partners, both for dating and for sex hookups, but many are anxious about being caught. Females are more likely than males to engage in sexting behaviors, while females and males are equally as likely to cheat both online and in real life while in a serious real-life relationship. Older males, however, are more likely than younger males to cheat in real life. The results suggest that perhaps people who are using dating web sites do not conform to the “official” standards of dating culture, but that maybe the standards are changing. KeywordsSexting–Infidelity–Cybersex–Internet–Online dating–Online Survey
    Sexuality & Culture 09/2011; 15(3):217-239. DOI:10.1007/s12119-011-9091-4
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